Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- * Ohh...

* Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * Absorbent and yellow and porous is he *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * If nautical nonsense be something you wish *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

*

[waves crashing]

[upbeat music]

*

- We interrupt this program

to bring you a Bikini Bottom News Flash.

- [neighs] - Whoa, big fella.

- Mr. Plankton, we've received word

that you're plotting to infiltrate the Krusty Krab

and steal the Krabby Patty secret formula.

Is that true?

- Actually, yes, that is true.

I've got it all worked out.

First I break into the safe and--ehh.

Wait, is this live?

- Yes.

- Don't broadcast my secret plans!

They're secret!

I will destroy all of you!

[panting]

Secret formula, ho!

- [neighs]

- I reckon that classified taste mixture

will be in my hands directly.

[inhales]

[groans]

Ow!

[laughs]

The fool!

He left the safe open.

Open for business, baby!

[groans]

- [laughs]

Gotcha.

- [screaming]

- [laughs]

[suspenseful music]

*

I'm off to make a delivery.

- Ha, that fool.

[groans]

[panting]

And the Krabby Patty is made of...

urchins!

- Ew! Ew!

- Gotcha! [laughs]

- [laughs maniacally]

Yoink!

- Huh?

- [laughing] Yes!

- Pull!

Yee-haw!

[laughs]

- [screaming]

[propeller whirring]

- [groans] - Gotcha!

[laughs]

[mysterious music]

*

- [groaning]

[screaming]

- [laughs] Gotcha.

- Alley-oop!

- [slurping]

[gulps, belches]

- Whee!

Come to daddy, patty!

[groans]

[straining]

[laughs]

- Gotcha.

[laughs]

- Eeh.

- [grumbling]

[yells]

Oh, Karen, he covered me in urchins,

fed me to a seahorse, and stung me to death.

I fly through the air, he flies through the air.

I hide in a stomach, he hides in a stomach.

I have had enough!

- Oh, I think someone needs their ba-ba.

There, isn't that better?

- No, Karen!

That's just not gonna work anymore!

Don't you see? We're done here.

- He said for the 9 billionth time.

You know, Sheldon, if I had a dime

for every time you-- [powers down]

[cricket chirping]

["Taps" plays]

*

- Mr. Krabs, did you see that?

Plankton is retiring.

- I'll believes it when I sees it.

- [whimpers]

- [grunts] Hey, ha ha!

All hands on deck, SpongeBob!

Aye-aye, Mr--whoa!

Oh-oh-oh!

- [laughs]

- Aw, you want to say good-bye to Plankton,

you old softy you.

- That'll be the day.

I don't trust Plankton as far as I throw him.

That's why we're gonna shadow that little twit

and find out what he's up to.

[groans]

- "Welcome to Dullsville: a charmingly boring--"

- Snap your trap, boy-o. You'll blow our cover.

- A new life in a new town.

[laughs]

- I still don't see Plankton doing anything wrong.

Maybe he really is retiring.

- Believes it when I sees it.

- [humming]

*

- Quick, boy, he's getting away.

[both scream]

- [humming]

[bell dings]

- Yes? - I'd like a room, please.

- Very good, sir. - [groans]

- How long will you be staying with us?

- [groaning] - [grumbles]

Forever.

Ahhh!

[groaning]

And so begins my retirement.

[laughs maniacally]

- You see you, lad. Plankton is up to no good.

I bet those are all the fixings for another evil lab.

- Mr. Krabs, I'm gonna be sick.

- [laughs]

Yes.

Yes!

- You see, he's got an evil belt to match those evil shoes.

- Yes!

My plan is almost complete.

[laughs maniacally]

- His plan! Did you hear that, SpongeBob?

He said plan!

- Uh, please, don't shake me, Mr. Krabs.

- Oh, my pretty.

You'll be my best friend from now on.

[laughs]

Retirement is mine.

Mine.

Mine! [laughs]

- Ooh, this is it, boy-o.

He's got an evil laser death apparatus contraption

ready to spring on all of us.

- [laughs maniacally]

[cheerful music]

- Ooh.

[both yell]

[grumbling]

Now that I sees it, I believes it.

- Hurray! I knew you'd get it, Mr. Krabs.

[retching]

- Krabs!

What are you doing in my hotel room?

- [stammers]

Oh.

Good luck on your retirement, Plankton.

I won't give you any more trouble.

- Oh, I know you won't, Krabs,

because I'm at the Krusty Krab right now

stealing that formula.

- Oh-oh, sure. Whatever you say, old-timer.

How would you be doing that when you're all the way over here

in Dullsville, hmm?

- [laughs]

Because I'm a decoy look-alike robot!

Gotcha! [laughs]

- [sighs] So what'd I miss?

both: What?

- That's right, Karen.

By the time those two knuckleheads figure it out,

I'll be knee-deep in secret formula.

Yes, I'll wear my galoshes. Gotta go.

[straining]

In your face, Krabs.

Ha!

[humming]

*

Krabs? SpongeBoob?

Why aren't you in Dullsville?

- We never left, Sheldon.

The Mr. Krabs and SpongeBoob who followed the robot you

to Dullsville were also robots.

Gotcha. [laughs]

- [grumbles] Hate! Hate!

Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate! Hate!

- So the way I see it, Mr. Krabs and Plankton

are just using us as pawns in their dumb secret formula war.

- Agreed.

- Yeah, I mean, who cares if that guy

steals the secret formula anyway?

Grow up, that's what I say.

- Agreed.

- So you're the real Krabs and SpongeBob.

Gimme that!

- Ooh. - [yells]

[all yelling, groaning]

[phone rings] - Yello.

Krusty Krab, may I take your order?

No, Mr. Krabs is unable to come to the phone right now.

He's trapped in a dust cloud brawl.

Yeah, he'll have to call you back.

Gee, I hope our robot look-alikes are okay.

Bless their heart-like pneumatic pumps.

[cheerful music]

*

all: Yay!