Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- * Ohh...

* Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * Absorbent and yellow and porous is he *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * If nautical nonsense be something you wish *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

*

[waves crashing]

[both munching]

both: Mmm!

- [slurping]

- [chomps]

- [slurps, yelps]

- [slurping]

- [sniffs]

Ooh!

[moaning]

[munching]

- Excuse me!

Who, may I ask, cooked this patty?

all: SpongeBob Squarepants!

- Did somebody call my name?

- Is there a problem with your sandwich, sir?

- Yes!

I feel like I could die...

[both gasp]

And go to heaven.

[both sigh]

- [thuds, smooches]

- Oh, please, sir.

Don't. Stop.

You really can stop, sir. - [chuckles]

Everyone seems to really like the Krabby Patty.

- Some people started calling it

the "SpongeBob Patty."

- What? That's ridiculous.

It's always been The Krabby Patty.

- One SpongeBob Patty, please.

- Huh?

- Maybe you should change the name of this place

from the Krusty Krab to SpongeBob's Place.

[explosion] Ha, ha, ha!

- Hey, that's a great idea!

SpongeBob's Place!

SpongeBob's Place!

customers: SpongeBob's Place!

SpongeBob's Place!

SpongeBob's Place! - Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

Krusty Krab!

Krusty Krab!

Krusty Krab!

Krusty Krab!

[whimpers]

- Come on, guys!

Krusty Krab!

Krusty Krab!

customers: SpongeBob's Place!

SpongeBob's Place!

- Help! - SpongeBob's Place!

- Admit it.

Without SpongeBob, you'd be nothing.

- Well, that's not true.

I'm the one who created the SpongeBob Pa--

I mean, the Krabby Patty!

customers: * Let's all go to SpongeBob's Place *

*SpongeBob's Place, SpongeBob's Place *

- [grumbles]

- Whoa!

- [chuckles]

- All right, Mr. Krabs.

If you think the Krusty Krab is haunted

and needs ghostbusting,

I'll stay away for a while.

- Haunted, eh?

- Don't you believe in ghosts?

- Oh, admit it!

You're jealous of SpongeBob!

- Of course not!

But I'll be cooking

the Krabby Patties from now on.

Krabby Patties.

Named after me,

Mr. Krabby!

[loud crash] Whoa!

Ouch.

- [sighs]

What do we do now, Gary?

We've read every book and played every game.

Hey, I know!

How about another makeover?

- [yowls]

- You know, I can't go to the Krusty Krab.

But I can play Krusty Krab!

- [yowling]

- Oh! This can be the register boat.

And you can be Squidward.

[squishing] Ooh-whoo!

[squishing] Ooh-whoo!

[stretching] Yoink!

- [Squidward-like meow]

- What's that, Squidward?

30 Krabby Patties?

Coming right up!

- Meow meow.

[jubilant music]

- [humming happily]

[metallic shing, knives chop]

[humming happily]

[meat sizzling]

[humming happily]

*

Okay, everybody, order up!

Hmm.

Guess I'm used to cooking Krabby Patties

in mass quantities.

[sighs]

- [sniffing]

- Ooh!

- [sniffs] Ooh!

[doorbell rings]

- [slurping]

How's about making some more

of those delicious patties?

- I drew two more mouths on my face

so I could eat three at a time.

[munches, squishes]

- Okay, you guys.

Just make yourself comfortable.

More patties on the way!

[meat sizzling]

[flames roar]

- Whoa!

- These are being sent back.

[extinguisher hisses]

- [blows forcefully]

What? What's wrong with them?

- Customers said to make them good...

like they used to be.

- Like they used to be?

It's the same formula!

- Hey!

I see the problem!

SpongeBob's not in the kitchen!

all: Huh?

[all spitting and gagging]

[all groaning] - I don't think so.

- I don't know why, but it's bad.

- Let me out of this place. - [gasps]

Wait! Wait!

Please, don't go!

We're having a two-for-one sale.

For every two you buy,

you can buy another one.

[nervous chuckle] Hold on, everybody!

I think I hear SpongeBob's hideous laughter

coming from the kitchen!

I'll show you that the customers are always wrong.

- Oh, boy.

Huh?

- Now, go ahead.

Call attention to me.

- Hey, everybody.

Look who's back in the kitchen.

- I'm ready! I'm ready!

[mimics SpongeBob's laugh] - That's SpongeBob?

Man, did he let himself go!

- Who cares?

I'll take a Krabby Patty!

- I'll order some too!

- Make mine a triple!

- Yeah! - My appetite's back!

[unenthusiastic munching]

- Mmm.

- Yum.

- Is everybody enjoying their Krabby Patties?

[mimics SpongeBob's laugh]

- [moaning]

[lisping] Yes, it's very nice.

- [laughs]

It was me that cooked those patties!

You're all enjoying my food!

[customers spit]

- I thought something was off.

[all groan]

- [gasps]

Oh, no, you don't!

[loud crash]

[thuds]

[engine rumbling]

[truck beeping]

[lava gushing]

[thuds] Ha!

Anyone who wants to leave

has to go through me first.

[all chattering indistinctly]

- [screams]

Ahh!

Ow! Eee!

Hey! Oh!

Whoa! Ah!

Blazes! - G'night, boss!

See you in the morning. - Ow!

Eee! Hey!

- [humming]

"SpongeBob's Place"?

What in the ocean?

Pardon me.

Don't mind me!

Just trying to get in my own front door!

[beeping tone]

- You've reached the Health Department.

If you'd like to leave a message, wait for the cough.

[person coughs]

- Everybody's a comedian.

This is Squidward Tentacles,

and I'd like to lodge a complaint

about my neighbor SpongeBob.

[siren wails]

- That should do it, Mr. Krabs.

You'll be good as new in no time.

- Wasting your time, boys.

You should just take me straight to the morgue.

I'm done.

[faint laughter]

Stop! Stop here!

[indistinct chatter and laughter]

[bell dings] - Ah!

- [moans]

Make a hole!

[upbeat music]

[whimpering]

- [meows]

- Hey!

- Oh, hello, Mr. Krabs.

Place your order with Gary, please.

And drop your money anywhere.

I'm running out of places to put it.

I don't even have time to count it.

- [gasps]

[gasps]

[salt rattles]

- Here, try one.

- [munches]

Oh, it's delicious.

- Sorry, I ran out of napkins.

You'll have to use a $100 bill.

- You deserve your own place.

[blows nose]

- Mr. Krabs, don't go!

I need you.

- Ah, what do you need me for?

You got everything:

a magic touch for cooking,

lots of customers,

money.

- I could use a boss.

Someone to take all the credit

and all the money.

- Huh? Hmm.

Well, I suppose I could do some bossing.

How's 99% for me and 1% for you?

- Oh, that's more than generous!

- [sighs]

Oh, no people are ever coming back here.

Hey... no people.

That's great!

Because...

I hate people!

[laughs]

* I hate people

* People hate me

* I prefer my own best company

* Single and secluded

* On my own

* I can have the best of times all alone *

* Because I hate

* People!

- [snoring]

- [clears throat] - Huh?

- Are you the owner of this food establishment?

- Well, I do own 99% of SpongeBob's Place,

so I guess that's a yes.

But you'll have to stand in line

if you want to place an order.

- Yeah, well, I have an order for you.

An order to shut down your restaurant.

It's against city health codes

to sell food in a pineapple.

- [munching]

Say, Andy, you gotta try these patties.

They're delicious.

[smacks]

- Carl, you're eating contraband.

- You're not the boss of me.

- Uh, yeah!

I totally am the boss of you!

- Oh, what's going on?

- We've been shut down.

- Well, it was bun while it lasted.

[laughs]

- Meow!

- You know, I know of an empty restaurant

that's got all its papers in order.

We can move in right away.

- Did you get rid of the ghost?

- Yeah, the ghost is gone.

- * I hate people, I'm still that way *

* La, la, la, la, la, la, hey, hey, hey! *

- Sounds like it's still haunted.

- * I hate SpongeBob

* I hate Krabs

* I wish they'd leave the ocean in taxi cabs *

* And all the customers can kiss my abs *

* 'Cause I'm the one and only-- *

- Mr. Squidward!

- [gulps]

And...uh...

oh...

[customers laugh]

- [groans]

- You know, I've been doing some thinking.

You're a big part of this place, boy-o,

and I believe I should share the name with you.

Take a gander.

- I don't get it, Mr. Krabs.

It looks the same.

- Well, climb up there!

Get a closer look.

- [grunting]

Where?

- Under the words "Krusty Krab."

- "The Krusty Krab"...

[gasps]

"And SpongeBob's Place."

Oh, Mr. Krabs, you're the best!

Whoo!

[thuds]

- [grumbles]