Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- * Ohh...

* Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * Absorbent and yellow and porous is he *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * If nautical nonsense be something you wish *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

*

[waves crashing]

[upbeat instrumental music]

*

[bubbling]

- Oh, why can't I get to sleep?

Let's try it again. [sighs]

Warm milk.

White noise machine.

[machine bubbling]

[groans]

Dim lights.

[groans]

* Sleep, little Squidward, catch some winks *

* Everything and everybody clearly stinks *

- [belches] - [screams]

[laughter]

- [grunting]

Oh, yeah! Fizz Bomb Cola!

- Fire in the hole!

- [belches]

[laughter]

- [yelling] Hey!

Will you two psychopaths keep it down?

- Oh, hi, Squidward. How ya doing?

- Horrible! I haven't slept for three days.

- Hey, that's great!

- It is not great.

[grunts]

I've got an audition

with the Bikini Bottom Philharmonic Orchestra

tomorrow morning, and I'm a nervous wreck.

- Why don't you try taking a walk?

Works for me. - You know, normally,

I jump up and scream when you appear like that.

But I'm so tired, I'm just gonna take

your stupid advice.

- No, Patrick, no!

[both grunting]

- We've got to keep it quiet.

[stomach gurgling]

- Tell my parents I love them.

- Ahh! [grunts]

[inhales, grunts]

Hit the dirt!

- [belches]

[gulps]

[sighs]

That was sheer beauty.

- Taking a walk...walk...

walk.

[groans]

- [snoring]

- [snoring]

[sheep bleating]

- [groans]

Home.

[door creaks]

[both munching]

[creepy music]

- SpongeBob? What's happening?

- I don't know.

*

- [snoring]

- Ahh! [grunts]

- [sighs]

- Aw, poor guy was just sleepy.

Looks like we're gonna be here a while.

See you in the morning, Patrick.

- Oh, yeah. I should probably...

[sighs]

[snores]

- [meows]

- Aww.

Aww.

[all snoring]

- [crows]

- [meows]

- [yawns]

[yells]

This isn't my rug! Where--where am I?

Who am I?

[panting] Who am I?

How am I? - Patrick, Patrick, calm down.

You're at my house. Oh, and that is your rug.

- Oh, yeah.

Ruggie, Ruggie, Ruggie.

Ruggie, Ruggie, Ruggie.

- Squidward, time to wake up.

Wake up, little Squidward.

Patrick, Squidward won't wake up.

- Ruggie, Ruggie, Ruggie, Ruggie!

[yelling] Wake up, little Squidward,

wake up!

- Maybe we should get him up.

[chanting together] Wake up, wake up,

wake up, wake up!

- [groans]

[coffee dripping]

[hissing]

both: Wake up!

- [snores]

[electric guitar trilling]

both: Wake up!

- [snoring] - Patrick, this is bad.

Squidward won't make his audition

with the Philharmonic Orchestra. What can we do?

- Oh, we'll have to create another Squidward in a lab.

- Patrick, you are a genius!

[bubbling]

[dramatic music]

[machinery grinding]

- [grunts]

- [screams]

- [grunting]

[both gasp]

- [grunts]

[growling]

*

[smashing]

- Eureka!

- No, Patrick. It didn't work.

- Ooh, we've tried everything under the ocean,

and we failed.

If only we could just crawl up inside Squidward

and play him like a puppet.

- That's it! We could crawl up

inside Squidward and play him like a puppet!

- Oh, whose dumb idea was that?

- Yours.

- Well, it sounds good to me.

- Okay, Patrick, you go in first

and control his arms and legs.

Then I'll go in and control the brain.

- Okay.

[grunting]

Eww.

[laughs]

It tickles.

- How's that feel, buddy?

- Not bad. Okay, get on my shoulders.

- [grunting]

Okay, Patrick, I'm gonna see if I can make Squidward talk.

[as Squidward] My name is Squidward,

and I think SpongeBob is a lamebrain.

[laughs]

- [laughs]

Wow, you sound more like him than--

than Squidward. [laughs]

- All right, Patrick, we've got a date

at the Bikini Bottom Philharmonic.

Let's get going.

[as Squidward] Whoa, whoops.

Watch out. Take it easy.

[jackhammer pounding]

- Hey!

- Left foot, right foot.

[both exclaiming]

[groaning]

- [grunting]

- [frantic muttering]

Whoa! Excuse me.

Sorry. - Yeah?

[screams]

[explosion]

- [screams]

- Pardon me.

- Hey, Twinkle Toes,

you're in a no dancing zone.

Now beat it.

- [grunting]

Patrick, I just realized I don't know

where the concert hall is.

[epic music]

Uh, let's ask someone.

- Whoa!

[as Squidward] - Excuse me, ma'am.

I'm looking for the concert hall.

[grunting] Whoa!

- Young man, you don't need a concert hall.

You need a hospital.

- Great Neptune, you're hideous!

I manage a freak show, and you're exactly

the kind of act I need.

- Mommy, look.

It's Frankenstein!

[all murmuring]

- Oh, Patrick! That bus is going

to the concert hall!

[all murmuring]

- [grunting]

[coin clinking]

Patrick, do you have any change?

- One second.

- [exclaims]

- Hey, I wasn't born yesterday. That'll be three fares.

[coins clinking]

Hmm, what some people won't do to cheat the system.

[fanfare]

- [grunting]

- And don't come back!

- Oh, man. That conductor's brutal.

[both grunting and exclaiming]

- Whoa!

- Oh, oof!

- [as Squidward] I was just, oh, um,

the thing is not on the thing. Oh, uh...

- Who is that imbecile? - Squidward Tentacles.

Apparently he's a clarinet player.

- All right, whenever you're ready.

- [whispering] The clarinet,

where's his clarinet? - Oh, I got it.

- Ew, why'd you put it there?

- I guess I never actually

thought of the moment where we'd have to play it.

- Let's see, the ability to play clarinet

has got to be in his brain somewhere.

It's just a matter of squeezing it out.

[grunts]

[clarinet squeaking]

[grunting, clarinet squeaking]

- [growls]

All right, thank you, next!

[delicate melody]

- [growls]

both: Huh?

*

- He's magnificent.

- What--what's going on here? Where am I?

I'm at the audition.

I'm playing, but I'm not in control.

I--I feel like I've been taken over by something.

- What's going on?

- I don't know what's happening.

I'm losing control!

- Must...gain...

control!

- That's an unusual playing style, but still.

He sounds magnificent.

- Patrick, I don't think I can

command his brain much longer.

- Me neither, SpongeBob.

- What was that-- SpongeBob? Patrick?

You're inside me? Oh, how did this happen?

Get out of my mind!

Get out of my body. Just--just--just get out!

[muttering]

- [grunting]

- [gagging]

[spits]

both: Ta-da.

- Oh, I am going to lambaste you two.

- You're a wizard. A magical, musical wizard.

- I--huh? Oh.

- Yes, yes!

Oh, bring us to ecstasy, maestro.

- I envy you common people.

For you are about to have the glorious honor

of hearing me play Gustav Mollusk's

Symphony Number Five in C sharp minor.

For I am in complete control.

[shrill squealing]

[both groaning]

[glass shattering]

[cawing and honking]

[ice crashing]

[buildings rumbling]

[both snoring]

- [sighs]

[delicate melody]

Hmm? Huh?

*

- [growls]

[crowd cheering]