Original subtitles

- Are you ready, kids?

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all: Aye, aye, Captain!

- * Ohh...

* Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * Absorbent and yellow and porous is he *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * If nautical nonsense be something you wish *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

- * Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish *

all: SpongeBob SquarePants! - Ready?

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

*

[waves crashing]

[light music]

*

[bubbles popping]

- News flash! A severe rip current

may soon touch down in Bikini Bottom.

Residents are warned to bar all windows

and stay indoors.

[hammering]

[cow moos]

Save yourselves!

- Ahh, rip current, schmip current.

'Tain't nothing.

- Gee, Mr. Krabs, do you think the rip current

will hit the Krusty Krab?

Ahh! [imitates explosion, splashing]

[screaming, explosion noises]

- Uh, shouldn't we clear the docks?

Or batten down the patches?

Or whatever people say?

- Calm your waters!

Me sailor's knee says we're not in danger, see?

[whistling, ticking]

Now, get back to work!

- Excuse me, are we in any kind of peril?

- I think we should all go home.

- As soon as you buy some Patties to go, you can go.

- I'll have three Krabby Patties.

[rumbling]

On second thought, cancel that order!

- No takey-backsees! Three Krabby Patties.

[buzzing] [gasps]

Me money detector! Where do you think you're going?

Get back in there and spend the rest

of your money! - But I needed it for rent.

- Listen up, everybody! New store policy:

all money brought into this store

must be spent here.

- Tyrant!

- Oh! Tyrant am I?

All right, I'm a tyrant!

The worst in all the seven seas.

What of it? [growls]

- Hey, why's Mr. Krabs so crabby today?

- Probably because it's payday.

- Payday's been canceled! [feedback squeals]

Now hear this! I'm the captain of this ship!

Captain Krabs!

And I say no rip current

will ever harm the Krusty Krab!

[dramatic music]

[crashing] [chains rattle]

[screaming]

[all screaming] [crashing]

[yelling]

[grunting]

[wood creaks]

[thud]

[crashing]

[pained groan]

[duck quacks]

- Darn arthritis.

[creaking]

[chains rattle]

[yelling] [grunting]

[all screaming, whimpering]

- [growls] Hm.

[thrilling music] [key jangles]

Yah.

*

Yah! Wah!

*

[straining effort]

[popping] - Ah!

- Squidward, while I steer,

you tell everyone we're safe.

- It's all right now, everybody.

- Everything's under control now and whatever.

[whimpering]

- Three cheers for Squidward!

- The guy who saved our lives.

- Let's make him our new captain.

- Hip, hip--

all: Hooray for Captain Squidward!

- Congratulations, Squidward.

Oh, I mean Captain Squidward.

- What's the meaning of this?

- What should we do with this tyrant, Captain Squidward?

- Captain Squidward?

- Let's flog him!

all: Yeah!

- Let's tie him to the mast!

all: Yeah!

- Let's put the past behind us

and start all over!

all: No!

- This is mutiny! Listen here, Squidward.

Fun is fun, but get me out of here!

- Sorry, I don't think that's a captain's job.

You're on your own. - Hey, everybody,

can we take a time out?

This is Mr. Krabs we're talking about.

The worst tyrant in the seven seas.

- You're not helping, boy.

- You remember Mr. Krabs.

He's the man who brought you

the Krabby Patty! [bell dings]

[all agreeing]

And he's the man who brought you the double Krabby Patty.

And the Krabby Patty with Cheese.

- [yells] - And the Bratty Patty

for kids. - Um, little help here.

- He also created the Chatty Patty for teens.

And who can forget the Hatty Patty,

the patty you wear as a hat?

- I wear it because I'm bald.

- Well, I guess any man who invented

the Hatty Patty can't be all bad.

Okay, let's get him out.

- Whoa!

Man overboard!

[yells]

- No!

Mr. Krabs!

- Well, I guess that solves that problem.

["Taps" playing]

[bites, chews, swallows]

- I know you'll come back to us, Mr. Krabs!

Until then-- [slurps]

I'll leave a dollar in the window for you.

- Hey! It's Captain Squidward's fault that we lost the man

who invented the Hatty Patty.

- Yeah, we're fickle and we say

you're the tyrant now! all: Yeah!

Uhh, don't be hasty.

Remember, I'm-- I'm still the captain.

The Hatty Patty was my idea!

- But we're still stuck in this rip current!

- We'll never get out!

- Oh-- [stammers]

Ooh! [flapping sound, struggles]

Oh, barnacles! It--ow--oh, oh!

[metal clanging]

[all yelling]

[grunting, crashing]

[straining]

[screams] [popping]

[all yelling]

[crashing]

- Uh, We're alive!

Captain Squidward steered us

out of the rip current!

- How 'bout a cheer for Captain Squidward?

[all cheer]

Thank you, thank you. Just doing my job as captain,

protecting my crew.

- Whoa, where are we? [all exclaim]

- Oh, look at that. That's amazing.

- This neighborhood's crazy.

I wonder if there are any good places to eat.

- You think maybe they've got

a Krusty Krab around here?

- Hey, good idea. I could go

for a Krabby Patty. - I'm calling

the local Krusty Krab right now.

[dial tone, dialing]

[phone rings] - Hello, Krusty Krab.

- Yes, I'd like to place an order.

- Oh! [slamming]

[phone rings]

[roaring, crashing] [all scream]

- Monster! Monster!

[roars]

- Captain! - You gotta save us.

[squishing] [groans]

Ahh! Captain Squidward!

Um, I know where he is.

[panting]

[straining] Ooh!

[thud, grunts] - Uh, Captain,

sorry to interrupt, but the crew needs you

to protect them. - Are you crazy?

I can't fight a monster!

- Oh, I'm afraid the crew insists, sir.

[all growling]

[gulps]

- I don't wanna be captain!

I don't wanna be captain!

[all yelling]

all: [straining effort] Yah!

- [screams] - [munches]

- Well, that was anticlimactic.

- Maybe he'll make the monster sick.

- Okay, who had their money on Captain Squidward?

Pay up.

- Well, somebody has to step up, fight that monster,

and become captain.

And that somebody is me!

[straining]

[popping] [breathing heavily]

[breathes, sniffs]

[gags]

[gulps, gargles]

[swallows, coughs]

Hi-ya!

Huh.

Hi.

Huh? Boink.

Oh, what was I doing now?

[screaming] [gasping]

[crashing, grunting]

- Hm. - Mr. Krabs!

You're alive!

Oh, welcome back, Captain!

- Haven't you forgotten something?

I am not captain anymore.

Squidward is.

- Uh-uh. The monster ate him.

We need a captain, and that's you!

Isn't that right?

[all agreeing]

- Why would I want to be captain

to such a sorry bunch of lubbers?

I'm through. [roaring, glass shatters]

- And that's coming out of your pay!

- Mr. Krabs, this job calls for

a dictator like you!

- Hm. [roaring, glass shatters]

- Do something, Mr. Krabs!

- Beg me. [all begging]

- We're begging. Please!

[growling, slurping]

- Not buying it. [all begging]

[shimmering tone]

- Got it!

Do you know what this is, Mr. Krabs?

- I don't care. - It's the first dime

you ever earned, and I'm going to tear it up

if you don't go back to being

the meanie we need.

- I said I don't care.

- Okay, here goes.

[straining effort]

Ah. Ahh, wah!

[metal clangs, shatters]

Ah.

[saw buzzes]

- My leg!

- Ha, you lose.

- Hm. Oh!

Well then, I'm gonna do the worst thing

I can do to your old dime.

- Oh, yeah? What's that?

- Spend it.

[metal clangs] - Huh?

Hmm.

Oh, no you don't! Come here!

Gah! [thud]

All right, everybody! What am I?

all: Um-- [glass shatters]

- Come on. It starts with a T.

- A tree?

- A teddy bear?

- A tuba?

- You're a tyrant?

- I can't hear you.

all: A tyrant! [cheering]

- Correct! All right, I'll save ya.

But you've got to promise to spend most of your--

all of your money right here, got it?

[all agreeing]

[roars] [screaming]

- Hold onto me dime, boy-o.

[growls]

[screams]

[growls]

[screaming stops]

- Well, that was anticlimactic.

- Again.

[grumbling] - Ho!

Ah, ah, ugh, ah! [punching]

[vomits]

[shivering, whimpering]

Ahh! [cries]

- Oh, ah-- [punching, straining]

Oh!

Whoa!

[upbeat music]

[punching]

Beg to me.

[all exclaiming]

Whoa!

Oh!

[growls] Oh!

Ouch! Oh!

Wait a minute! Gimme that!

[bashes]

[smashing] [yells, growls]

[crashing, squealing]

[all cheer]

[bubbles popping]

- Here ya go, Mr. Krabs. You earned it.

- Well, boy-o, you believed in me,

so today will be a pay day for you.

- What about me?

- You, Ex-Captain Squidward,

have gone from pay day to Mayday!

Mush! Every last one of ya!

All the way back to Bikini Bottom!

[laughs]