Original subtitles

[lively tropical music]

* *

[crowd cheering]

- What you see before you

is the culmination of my lifelong dream.

A place of my own where I can work out

every day, any time I want.

Larry's Gym!

[all cheering]

[cheering continues]

[scissors slice] - Ow!

- Looking out at this sea

of flaccid muscles and sagging flesh,

frankly, I'm disgusted.

all: Aww.

- Therefore, I'm opening the gym

to everyone in Bikini Bottom.

all: Yeah! Whoo-hoo!

- For the price of a lifetime membership.

all: Aww.

- But today, everything is free!

all: Yeah!

- Shape us and mold us in your image.

[all cheering]

- You're the lobster, Larry.

The alpha lobster.

- Well, I don't know if I'd say that.

- Oh, I filled out a membership form.

- Ooh.

- Me too.

- What's in that pink box?

- Uh, doughnuts, sir.

- "Dough nut" bring those in here!

In the meantime, enjoy yourself

because your first visit is free.

- Is it true that everything is free?

- That's right, sir.

For your first visit, we--

Hello?

In conclusion, I'm at your service

to turn anyone, anyone, into a rippling heap of muscle glory!

- [grunting]

- Boy, I've got my work cut out for me.

The doors are automatic.

Just step on the mat.

- Oh!

[grunting]

- [growls] Here.

- Ah, thanks, Larry.

- Ugh.

- [grunting]

- Uh, what are you doing?

- You said everything was free.

- [laughs] No, no.

Your first visit is free.

- So what you're saying is, if I never leave,

it'll be free forever!

[both laughing]

- Time to go live the dream.

Right after I file this paperwork.

I didn't think there'd be so much of it.

- Excuse me, Larry, I was just working out

and I was wondering, is this normal?

- Aah!

Even your cramps have cramps.

You need to follow my number one rule:

always be hydrating.

- Fine.

[gulping]

Gee, Larry, you think I'll ever be as strong as you?

- Sure! What kind of a gym owner would I be

if I couldn't take a puny, squishy, lump like you?

- [laughs] Squishy.

- What I'm saying is, I can make you a man.

- Hooray!

- I'm gonna make you my personal project.

Of course, you'll have to sign up for a lifetime membership.

- I'm ready!

[grunting and groaning]

- That reminds me, you need to start hydrating right now.

- [panting]

Yes, sir.

- And remember, always be hydrating!

- Okay, I will.

- That's what I like to see.

Come on, we'll finish those later.

- Good, 'cause I was really crashing there,

signing those papers.

"Feeling the burn," is that what you call it?

I heard angels singing.

Beautiful angels. That's normal, right?

- It's Larry! King of the gym!

[all cheering]

- Oh, you guys.

I'm just an ordinary alpha lobster doing his job.

Towel boy!

Polish this crown for me, will you?

- Hey, join us, boy.

Oh, I can't believe I'm allowed to lift these

really heavy pieces of metal for free.

[grunting] Oh.

[gulps]

Free.

- I don't know, Larry.

I'm not good at lifting things.

Aah! Aah! Ow!

Ooh! [groans]

Aah!

[grunting]

Ow!

- Let me see.

I may have something that'll work for you.

Here we go.

Cotton swabs, cotton balls.

Here, try this on for size, Hercules.

- [grunting, groaning]

Aah!

How am I doing?

- Pathetic.

- Look, Larry, I'm hydrating.

Oh, I am hydrating so much.

- Yeah, I've got another idea, SpongeBob.

Come with me.

First thing tomorrow morning,

this is gonna be where I lead my exercise class.

- I'll be there. - That's the spirit.

And we're going to get you started early.

Let me see some crunches.

- [crunching loudly]

- The only thing I want to see in your mouth

is that water bottle.

Now, what did I tell you?

Always be hydrating!

Now I'll show you some crunches.

[grunting]

- Oh, I can do that.

That's what I do when I laugh.

[laughing]

Only now I'll do it on my back.

[laughing]

- Could you do it without the laugh?

- I won't lie to you, Larry.

Probably not. [laughs]

- Whatever works, I guess.

Keep up with that and most importantly--

- Always be hydrating.

[laughing]

- [sighs] Okay.

I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on.

- Free towels, free towels!

Free towels, free towels! Free!

- Do you have to do that in front of me?

- Yes. Yes, I do,

because I sincerely want to thank you

for a truly life-changing experience.

Sucker! [laughs]

- [groans]

- Nice potbelly!

- Potbelly?

[SpongeBob laughing]

Oh, I forgot all about my protégé.

[SpongeBob laughs]

[gasps]

Oh, my Neptune!

- Again with this! - I have had it.

- Come on, already. - What's taking so long?

[items crashing]

- Aah. Oh.

Oh.

Aww, that's gonna come out of my paycheck.

[grunts]

- My legs!

I'm okay.

[oven timer dings] Slightly less okay.

- SpongeBob!

- Yeah?

- What are you--whoa, you've been working out.

- Yeah, I hope you got some glue for me

because I am ripped!

[grunting]

[grunts]

Oh, I'm late for the gym.

Can you cover for me in the kitchen, Squidward?

- Yes. Anything, you meathead.

Just go before you destroy the place.

[items crashing]

- Larry? - Ugh.

- Gee, Larry, you've really let yourself go.

- With all this paperwork,

I haven't had any time to do my crunches.

The only thing I've been crunching is numbers.

But I'm gonna get back in shape. You'll see.

- Yeah, Larry, sure you will.

- SpongeBob, tell me the truth.

Do I have a potbelly?

- I--no, Larry, don't be silly.

You don't have a potbelly.

- Ugh.

See you in exercise class, I guess.

[sobbing]

- Oh, boy! Free soup!

[slurps] Little heavy on the salt.

[all muttering]

- Oh, he'll be here. Don't worry.

Larry made me the man I am today.

- Oh, look at that. - Oh, wow.

- He taught me just do stuff you always do

but do it on your back.

Laugh on your back.

[laughing]

[all laughing]

Walk on your back.

[all grunting]

And don't forget, always be hydrating.

That means drink plenty of water.

all: Ah.

- I hope Larry's okay.

While we're waiting,

I guess we can ride bicycles on our backs.

[all grunting and groaning]

- Hmm. [moaning]

- Hey, Larry, thanks for all the free steam.

[laughs] Sucker.

- [sighs]

[groaning]

Oh, what's the use?

[breathing heavily]

Ah, who am I kidding?

- You wanted to see me, sir?

- Yeah, look, uh, you're obviously

the alpha male at the gym now,

and I'm just a shell of my former self.

- I hear ya, Larry.

I just want to get back to the Krusty--

- I need you to take over.

You're a natural leader, SpongeBob.

You should be in charge of the fun stuff

while I sit here in the reception area

slowly getting fatter and paler until I die.

- It sounds great.

- [crying]

- Oh, Larry, look at me.

I'm too big to work the grill anymore.

That makes me sad.

- Come over here and give me a bro hug.

- You mean a "brug"?

- I don't wanna call it that.

- Here's to our new lives.

Our terrible, terrible, new lives.

[both crying]

Oh, whoa, what happened?

- Dude, you were just over hydrated.

Those weren't real muscles.

They were water muscles.

- Larry, your "brug" was so super strong,

it took the water muscles right out of me.

- Don't say "brug."

- [laughs] Brug.

[both laughing]

- SpongeBob, laughing on my back was just what I needed.

You're a pretty good instructor after all.

Oh, boy, the way you laugh really gets on my nerves.

- [laughing]

- The very next evening...

- [humming]

- Well, that was the last customer, SpongeBob.

- Oh, what a great day.

- And you know why it was a great day?

Because Krabs never even showed up.

- Huh? [sniffing]

What is that smell?

Mr. Krabs, how long have you been in there?

- I think I'm done.

Would you mind rubbing a little butter on me?

[mellow tropical music]

* *