Original subtitles

[upbeat ukulele music]

*

- [panting]

- All right, hold on a second, you freeloader.

What are you doing here?

- I'm here for lunch.

- Did you bring money this time?

- Yes.

- [panting and barking]

Let me see that. [sniffs]

All right, tastes real. Now get in line.

- Yes, sir.

- Hey, how's that new Executive Treatment sandwich treating you?

'Cause it's hitting all the quadrants of my hunger markets.

- Mmm, quadrants.

- You know, it reminds me of something I was saying

about business the other day.

- The satisfaction earnings of the fourth quarter of my lunch

are off the charts.

[laughter]

- And I love the way it tastes.

- And business, my friend,

is the business that I'm talking about.

- Well, one can't have business without business, right?

- Interesting point, Marv. How's your sandwich?

- Absolutely spectacular.

This new menu item is a business plan

I can really get behind.

- I tell you, this is one dynamic little sandwich.

- With levels of proactiveness that are off the charts,

business-wise.

- It really appeals to my demographic.

- Well, you are an executive

in the fast-paced world of business.

- Ha ha! That's for sure.

- These guys talk funny words.

- Oh, yeah, they're a riot. What can I get you?

- I guess I'll have one of these business sandwiches

everybody's talking about.

- Ah, the Executive Treatment. - Is that what you call it?

- Well, that's what Mr. Krabs makes me call it.

It's really just a Krabby Patty that costs more,

and SpongeBob wears a different tie when he makes it.

- Oh, wow. I'll take seven.

- Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

The executive treatment is available to executives only.

I'm not sorry.

- But I've never wanted anything so much in my whole life

since this morning when I wanted a doughnut

and I ate that doughnut

and it was great.

That doughnut is gone.

The doughnut is gone!

- First of all, a lot of that doughnut is still on your face.

- Now, where's my Executive Treatment?

- I told you, it's for executives only.

And you aren't even dressed like an executive.

I could, of course, sell you

an official Krusty Krab business tie for only $10.

- Will the tie let me order the Executive Treatment?

- Not on its own, no, but you could Krabby-size the tie

and get a set of business glasses

for an additional $10.

- Oh, ho ho, I'd be stupid not to.

- Well, you're half right.

- Here's your 20 bucks.

- Here's your glasses. - Thanks.

I'll take one Executive Treatment, my good man.

- Here's your Executive Treatment.

- Here you go.

- Oh, man.

That looks executively delicious.

- Carl, what are you doing standing around

at a time like this?

We're gonna be late for the big brainstorming meeting.

all: Business. Business. Business. Business.

- Save my sandwich for me, Squidward!

Squidward!

- Ah, I'll save it all right.

I'll just put it here in the circular file.

[giggles]

- What are you doing throwing away

a perfectly sellable sandwich?

all: Business. Business. Business.

- No! Oh, no!

all: Business. Business. Business.

Business, business, business, business, business.

- [straining]

all: Business, business, business, business.

- No!

[soft jazz music]

*

[bell dings] No!

all: Business. Business.

- Not 4B!

No!

- Wow, you're very upset about Conference Room 4B.

And I can't say I blame you,

because Conference Room 4B

is the most terrifying conference room

in the whole building.

More people have been fired in here

than all the other conference rooms combined.

- [screams]

- Save it for the big brainstorming meeting.

Right here is where all the biggest business decisions

in the business are made.

Why, if an imposter were to be caught in here? Mm.

- He'd be given a sandwich and sent on his way?

- No. He'd be convicted as a corporate spy

and sent to jail forever and ever and ever.

Hey, where you going?

- I think I forgot to...

water my manatee. I'll just--

- Gentlemen. Ladies.

- Where am I?

- Exactly.

I like you, young man.

Everybody scoot down so he can sit next to me

and I won't intimidate him at all

by my terrifying largeness and proximity.

As this junior executive so eloquently put it,

where exactly are we?

- Sir, if you take a look at this,

I believe you'll agree that we're perfectly positioned

for our marketing to be number one

across the business sector.

all: Business. Business. Business.

- What I need is a straight answer,

not a bunch of meaningless charts.

What do you give a disappointed stockholder

to make him feel better?

- A sandwich?

[laughter]

- Get a load of this guy! A sandwich.

- This guy has sandwiches on the brain.

- No, I don't.

- That's just about the silliest piece of idea.

- All right, hold it.

Now all of you just hold it right there.

It's easy to laugh and josh and heap a man with scorn

when you hear an idea that stands out

because it's so unusual.

So everybody just stop and think for a minute

about what your colleague here is really trying to say.

Because I want to be the one to tell him,

"That's the silliest thing I ever heard."

- What if I have a meaningless chart?

- Yes. Maybe I was too hasty about that.

- Oh, good.

- Well, you've definitely given new meaning

to the word "meaningless."

- Oh, wait.

[chuckles]

And here's a little house with smoke coming out of the chimney.

See what I mean?

- [growls]

- I guess he liked my chart. He's smiling.

- He smiles like that when he's really angry.

[all muttering in agreement] - He does, does it every time.

- Do you slap your palms down on the table like that, too?

- Yes. - Oh.

- I don't know who you are, but you better not be an imposter.

You know what happens to imposters

in Conference Room 4B?

- Well, uh, let's see. Don't tell me.

I know it's not sandwiches.

They don't get sandwiches. Do they?

- Mister, this is the last straw.

all: Aww.

- I'm going to give you just 18 more chances to prove yourself.

narrator: Montage.

- [mumbling]

- [growls]

[all gasp]

- Jenkins? - Yes, sir.

- Moustache.

- Ooh, here you are, sir.

[timer dings]

- [whistles]

[drum roll]

And so in conclusion,

I would like to submit my official report.

- You know, kid, we need somebody like you around here.

- You do? - For me to fire.

- Oh, yeah? Well...

I've got a surprise for you.

[all gasping] - Where'd he go?

- You can't fire me.

I'm not an executive at all.

I'm just a guy who happens to like sandwiches.

So go ahead.

Send me away forever as a corporate spy if you want to,

but not before I've had my say.

[cell door clanks shut]

[doors shut]

- You have a visitor.

- Who is it?

- Hello, Patrick. - Hi, SpongeBob.

- Hey, I heard you're in charge of

the laundry room on Thursdays. That's nice.

- Yeah.

Yeah, it's pretty nice, I guess.

- You know what that makes you? - Uh-uh.

- An executive!

- Oh, wait!

Is that what I think it is?

- Uh-huh. An Executive Treatment.

- [chomping]

Mmm.

Eh.

- [gasps]

What happened to prisoner 665321?

[alarm blares]

- Let's go home, SpongeBob.

- Okay. But who are you?

- [laughs]

[laughter]

Who am I?

[laughter]

- No, seriously, who are you?