Original subtitles

- [snoring]

[mumbles]

[snoring]

- SQUIDWARD! - AAH!

WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

- MY PROBLEM IS THAT YOU AREN'T WORKING,

WHICH MEANS I LOSE M-U-N-E-E,

WHICH MEANS YOU LOSE YOUR J-O-B.

- REMIND ME AGAIN.

IS THAT GOOD NEWS OR BAD NEWS?

- TENTACLES, I MEAN IT.

YOU GET BACK TO MINDIN' THAT REGISTER.

- MINDING IT FOR WHICH CUSTOMER?

[crickets chirping]

- I SEE YOUR POINT.

BUT STILL, I'M NOT PAYING YOU

TO DREAM SWEET NOTHINGS.

DO SOMETHING.

PICK UP A MOP, A BROOM,

A WINDOW WIPER, A SPATULA EVEN.

- SPONGEBOB'S GOT THAT COVERED.

- [humming]

[gasps] DUST SPECKS ON THE WINDOW!

DON'T WORRY, BOSS MAN, I GOT IT COVERED.

[squeegee squeaks]

THAT'S BETTER.

OOH, SOUNDS LIKE THE DISHES ARE DONE SOAKING.

[humming]

- THAT'S A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT--

STAYIN' BUSY.

- I WAS BUSY, TRYING TO FORGET ABOUT THIS PLACE

TILL YOU WOKE ME UP.

- OKAY, HAVE IT YOUR WAY, SQUIDWARD.

SINCE YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED

TO TAKE THE INITIATIVE YOURSELF,

IT'S CLEAR I MUST ASSIGN TASKS TO YOU.

HM. MR. SQUIDWARD, SCRUB THE WALLS

OF THE KRUSTY KRAB TILL THEY GLEAM.

- ALREADY DONE, SIR.

- OH, WELL, THAT'S VERY NICE, BOY.

THANK YOU. BUT, YOU SEE,

I'M TRYING TO GIVE SQUIDWARD A TASK.

- HM. WELL, THE SMOKE DUCT NEEDS SWEEPING.

- EXCELLENT IDEA, MR. SQUAREPANTS.

SQUIDWARD, I'D LIKE YOU TO SWEEP--

[banging]

- DONE AND DUSTED.

[wheezes]

- NICE WORKING CONDITIONS, BUT NO THANKS.

- OOH, IS THAT SO?

PERHAPS YOU'D PREFER SCRAPING THE GUM

OFF THE UNDERSIDE OF THESE TABLES.

- OH, A RESTAURANT EMPLOYEE HANDLING CHEWED BUBBLEGUM?

THAT'S GOTTA VIOLATE A LOT OF HEALTH CODES.

- NOT IF YOU WEAR GLOVES, IT DOESN'T.

MIND IF I TAKE THIS TO PATRICK AFTER WORK, MR. KRABS?

- I GUESS SPONGEBOB HAS A HANDLE

ON ALL THE KRUSTY KRAB DUTIES.

WHICH LEAVES YOU WITH ALL THE EXTRACURRICULARS--

LIKE SHINING ME SHOES.

- SORRY. ALL OUT OF POLISH.

- BUT I'M NOT.

- WASH ME BOAT!

- [singing]

- LISTEN, SQUIDWARD.

I'M GONNA GET A FULL DAY'S WORK OUT OF YOU,

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

- IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO,

I WON'T DO IT.

- [growls]

[chuckles] OH, YEAH?

FINE.

IF YOU REFUSE TO WORK,

THEN I CAN'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE.

- RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT, MR. KRABS?

- FOR...

FOR...

A VISIT FROM THE YETI CRAB!

- [gulp] THE YETI CRAB?

- YEAH.

EVERYBODY'S HEARD OF THE ABOMINABLE YETI CRAB--

WITH HIS LONG WHITE HAIR AND SIX-PACK ABS

AND YELLOW TEETH.

AND EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT HE ONLY

COMES OUT OF HIS MOUNTAIN CAVE

TO FEED ON LAZY WORKERS.

HE'S ATTRACTED TO THE SCENT.

HE CAN SMELL YOUR LAZY, LAZY STENCH

FROM HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY.

- AAH! AAH! AAH!

OH, WAIT. WHAT AM I WORRIED ABOUT?

I'M A HARDWORKING SELF-MOTIVATED SPONGE.

- YES, BUT THAT WON'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.

BECAUSE OF YOUR PROXIMITY TO SQUIDWARD'S LAZINESS,

YOU WILL BE EATEN. - [gasps]

SQUIDWARD AND I ARE AS CLOSE AS BROTHERS.

- LUDICROUS.

- YOU WON'T THINK SO

WHEN THAT BIG HAIRY FELLER WANTS TO EAT YA.

[chuckles]

YEAH, NOW LISTEN UP, BOYS.

BOSS MAN KRABS IS STEPPIN' OUT FOR A MINUTE,

BUT I WANT THIS TUB OF LAUNDRY DONE

BEFORE I GET BACK.

OR--

- OR THE YETI CRAB WILL SMELL OUR LAZINESS AND EAT US.

- PRECISELY.

SEE YA, BOYS.

- WHATEVER.

- SQUIDWARD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

[sniffs] OH, NO. YOUR LACK OF WORK IS TAKING ON AN ODOR.

- YOU'RE SURE IT'S NOT THESE YOU'RE SMELLING?

- IF THE YETI CRAB CATCHES WIND OF IT,

HE'S GONNA, YOU KNOW, EAT US.

- OH, COME ON, SPONGEBOB.

KRABS'S YETI STORY IS A COMPLETE AND TOTAL CROCK.

- [gasps] SQUIDWARD!

MR. KRABS WOULD NEVER MAKE UP SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

- YOU CAN BELIEVE IN WHATEVER GARBAGE YOU WANT TO,

JUST DO IT AWAY FROM ME.

NOW RUN ALONG AND WASH KRABS'S UNDIES.

- YOU GOT IT, SQUIDWARD.

ANYTHING TO KEEP THAT YETI CRAB AT BAY.

[tumbling]

- [sniffs, grunts]

[sniffs]

[roars]

[sniffs]

[sniffs, growls]

- LET ME OUT OF HERE, YOU HAIRY BRUTE.

I CAN FIND MY OWN FOOD.

- [growls]

[sniffs]

[chuckles]

- GOOD DAY, SIR. ARE YOU YETI TO ORDER?

[yelps]

OH, SQUIDWARD!

- WHAT, WHAT, WHAT? HUH?

- YOU ARE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.

THERE'S A YETI CRAB AT TABLE SEVEN,

AND HE IS SNIFFING OUT THE LAZY.

- [chuckles] OF COURSE HE IS.

NICE COSTUME, EUGENE.

COULDN'T YOU AT LEAST HAD IT DRY-CLEANED OR PRESSED?

- [roars]

- DIDN'T BRUSH THIS MORNING, DID WE?

- PLEASE DON'T EAT US, MR. YETI.

WE'RE NOT LAZY.

- OH, YES, I AM. - OH, BOY.

I'LL HAVE TO WORK TWICE AS HARD

TO MAKE UP FOR SQUIDWARD'S LAZINESS.

[chuckles nervously]

A WOBBLY TABLE?

OH, WE CAN'T HAVE THAT.

[grunts] COME ON.

NO. HERE.

- [growls]

- THERE, PERFECT.

YIKES!

TIME TO TOP OFF THE MUSTARD.

[grunting]

SEE, I'M BUSY.

I'M ORGANIZING THE SPICE RACKS...

BY COLOR. - [grunting]

- OOH.

- [sneezes]

- I GUESS WHILE I'M DOWN HERE,

I'LL HIT THE OL' GREASE TRAPS AGAIN.

[grunting]

AHH.

- [sniffs]

- AAH! I'M NOT LAZY. DON'T EAT ME.

- [roars]

- I'M SORRY, MR. YETI CRAB.

- [sighs]

I ALMOST FEEL SORRY FOR THE LITTLE NIMROD.

WHAT THE-- DO YOU MIND?

- SORRY, SQUIDWARD, JUST VARNISHING THE CEILING.

- OH, I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, MR. KRABS.

YOU'RE DRIVING HIM INSANE.

- [growls] - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

YOU'LL EAT ME IF I'M LAZY, WHATEVER.

- [roars]

[welding sparks]

- NOT THE HOME AND GARDEN SECTION!

SPONGEBOB?

- HUH? OH, SORRY.

JUST MAKING SURE ALL THE RIVETS ARE SECURELY WELDED.

- SPONGEBOB, WE HAVE NO CUSTOMERS TODAY.

ERGO, WE HAVE NOTHING TO DO,

NO MATTER WHAT THAT BUFFOON WANTS YOU TO THINK.

- [shushes] SQUIDWARD, HE MIGHT HEAR YOU.

DON'T WORRY, MR. YETI CRAB.

WE HAVE PLENTY TO DO.

I CAN REPLENISH THE TOILET PAPER.

AND REDECORATE MR. KRABS'S OFFICE.

AND REFOLD THE NAPKINS INTO ORIGAMI FIGURES.

KNIT STRAW COZIES.

CLEAN THE SOAP. REPLANE THE GRILL.

WASHING INSIDE THE WALLS.

SUCKING UP EVERY DUST PARTICLE IN THE RESTAURANT.

[vacuum whirring]

- HAVE YOU LOST IT, SPONGEBOB?

- LOST IT?

[laughs nervously]

LOST IT? WHAT A SILLY THING TO SAY.

AAH!

- [sighs]

GUESS I'M DOWN TO THE COMICS SECTION.

- SQUIDWARD!

YOU WERE RIGHT.

THERE'S NO MORE WORK TO DO.

I HAVE DONE IT ALL...

- [roars]

- WHICH MEANS HE IS GONNA EAT US!

- THAT DOES IT.

I HAVE HAD IT WITH THIS RIDICULOUS RUSE.

USING FEAR TO PREY ON A FEEBLE MIND.

EVEN SPONGEBOB DOESN'T DESERVE THAT.

ENJOY SPOOKING THE WITLESS, EH, KRABS?

WELL, WE'LL JUST SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT.

[grunts]

- [growling]

- [roars]

SEE? I CAN DRESS UP AS A CONVINCING YETI CRAB TOO.

- [roars]

- T-T-TWO YETI CRABS?

[whimpers]

[grunts]

- TAKE OFF THAT PHONY SUIT, MR. KRABS.

YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYBODY.

- I'M BACK, FELLERS.

- SORRY, MR. KRABS. I'M A LITTLE BUSY

TRYING TO PULL OFF THIS STUPID MASK OF YOURS.

- UH, SQUIDWARD?

- WHAT? OH.

[screams]

- WE'RE AS GOOD AS YETI FOOD.

I BLAME SQUIDWARD.

- GUYS, DO YOU HEAR THAT?

- YOU MEAN THE SOUND OF MY OWN FLESH

SIZZLING TO A CRISP?

- NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT THE SOUND OF A HUNGRY CUSTOMER.

HE DOESN'T WANNA EAT US FOR BEING LAZY.

HE WANTS TO EAT US BECAUSE HE'S HUNGRY.

FELLAS, LEAVE THIS TO ME.

- [sniffs]

[chuckles]

- WAY TO GO, BOY.

HE LOVES IT.

[cash register dings]

AND LOOK, HE'S A PAYING CUSTOMER.

COME BACK AND SEE US ANYTIME, MR. YETI CRAB.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING STANDING IDLE?

SQUIDWARD, SCRAPE OUT THE CROW'S NEST.

- NO. - DONE.

- REFINISH ME FLOORS. - NO.

- DONE. - BUILD ME A NEW SAFE.

- NUH-UH. - CONSIDER IT DONE.