Original subtitles

- ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- * OHH...

* WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- * ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- * IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- * THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! - READY?

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- SPONGEBOB

SQUAREPANTS!

[laughing]

*

[waves crashing]

[tropical music]

*

- [snoring, muttering]

- [squeals]

[ding]

OOH-WAH!

[sizzling]

OH!

- HMM? WHO'S THAT?

[triumphant music]

**

- [warbling cry]

*

AH!

[jet engine roars]

[ding] AH!

[spatula clatters, knuckles cracking]

HMM, SOMETHING'S MISSING.

[humming]

AHA! JUNE 15TH.

[slurps, chomping]

FINE MONTH FOR PICKLES.

- [snoring]

- ORDER'S UP!

ONE PERFECT PATTY ON A PRISTINE PLATE

IN A SQUEAKY-CLEAN KRUSTY KRAB.

MAN, OH, MAN, DO I LOVE MY JOB!

HEY, MR. KRABS. WHAT'S THE GOOD WORD?

- WELL, ACTUALLY, SPONGEBOB,

UH, THERE'S TWO WORDS.

AND THEY'RE NOT VERY GOOD.

YOU'RE FIRED.

[chuckles] WHAT? - FIRED?

- WELL, YOU SEE,

I'VE BEEN DOIN' SOME CALCULATIN'

AND, YOU KNOW, CRUNCHING THE OLD NUMBERS.

AND IT TURNS OUT THAT I'LL SAVE A WHOLE NICKEL

IF I CUT YOUR SALARY.

COMPLETELY.

- [stammers] BUT HOW ABOUT IF I WORK FOR FREE?

- YEAH, I LOOKED INTO THAT.

APPARENTLY, IT'S "ILLEGAL."

AND I'LL LOSE MY "VENDOR'S LICENSE."

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

- UH, 'SCUSE ME.

IS THAT MINE? - I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE.

[sniffs]

TAKE IT.

- YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU LIKE A SON.

BUT YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH A NICKEL.

- BUT--BUT--BUT--BUT--

BUT--BUT--BUT--BUT--

BUT--BUT-- BUT--BUT--

BUT--BUT--BUT--BUT-- BUT--BUT--

- HEY, WHAT ABOUT ME?

CAN I GET FIRED TOO?

- I'M AFRAID NOT, SQUIDWARD.

YOU'VE GOT SENIORITY. - OH, YEAH.

- NOPE, IT'S GOTTA BE YOU, SON.

YOU'RE CANNED.

HERE'S YOUR PINK SLIP.

I'M GIVING YOU THE AX.

[zipper zips]

YOU'RE FIRED.

- [gasps]

[sobbing] NO! NOT THAT!

ANYTHING BUT THAT!

- SO, UH, IF YOU COULD JUST HAND OVER YOUR SPATULA.

UM... - [wailing]

- I'LL JUST TAKE THAT.

[grunting]

- HERE, I'LL GET THAT FOR YOU.

[wailing]

- I'LL ALSO NEED THE HAT.

ALLOW ME.

- [wailing]

- GO AHEAD, TAKE A MOMENT TO COLLECT YOURSELF.

LONG AS YOU NEED.

- [sobbing]

- I'M NOT A VERY STRONG SWIMMER.

- OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH.

IT'S CLOSING TIME.

YOU KNOW, IT JUST WON'T BE

THE SAME AROUND HERE WITHOUT YOU.

YOU'LL HAVE TO VISIT SOMETIME... AS A CUSTOMER.

- [wails]

- BUH-BYE NOW.

SAYONARA.

GOOD RIDDANCE.

MAN, IS IT GONNA BE SWEET WITHOUT THAT PEST AROUND!

[tires screech]

- [whimpering]

- THIS DAY COULDN'T GET ANY BETTER.

WELL, EUGENE,

LET ME COMMEND YOU ON A TERRIFIC BUSINESS DECISION.

BUT NOW THAT SPONGEBOB'S GONE, WHO WILL BE RUNNING THE GRILL?

- SQUIDWARD, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW,

I WAS FIVE TIMES "GOLDEN SPATULA" IN THE NAVY,

SO I'LL BE RUNNIN' THE GRILL.

OOH!

- I CAN SMELL THE GREASE FIRES ALREADY.

- HEY, GARY, I'M HOME.

FOREVER.

[wailing]

- [meowing]

- OH, MR. KRABS FEELS HE DOESN'T NEED ME ANYMORE.

- [meows]

- WHAT'S THAT, GARY?

YOU NEED ME?

OH, THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE OF A PET.

OH, I'M SORRY.

HERE I AM WALLOWING IN MY MISERY,

AND IT'S PAST YOUR DINNERTIME.

[sighs]

I USED TO FEED EVERYONE IN BIKINI BOTTOM.

NOW I JUST FEED YOU.

OH, THANKS, GARY.

- [meows]

- THAT'S HOW I USED TO HOLD MY SPATULA.

[wails]

- [distant sobbing]

- [sobbing]

- [wailing]

- PATRICK, WHAT'S WRONG?

- OH, HEY, SPONGEBOB.

I HEARD YOU CRYING, AND IT MADE ME SAD.

[stifled crying]

- GEE, I'M SORRY.

WHY DON'T YOU COME INSIDE?

- OKAY!

HI, SPONGEBOB!

WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME SO SAD?

- PATRICK, THE MOST HORRIBLE THING HAPPENED TODAY.

I GOT--

F-F-F-F-F-F-F...

- FREE FRENCH FRIES?

- F-F-F-F-F-F-F...

- FRIED FRITTATAS?

- F-F-F-F-F-F-F...

- FROTHY FRAPPE?

- F-F-F-F...

- I CAN'T THINK OF ANY MORE FOOD

THAT STARTS WITH THE LETTER "C," SPONGEBOB.

- IT'S NOT FOOD, PATRICK.

I GOT FIRED.

- HEY, THAT'S GREAT!

BEING UNEMPLOYED IS THE BEST GIG I KNOW!

I TELL YOU WHAT.

MEET ME TOMORROW MORNING,

AND I'LL INTRODUCE YOU

TO THE WONDERS OF THE UNEMPLOYED LIFESTYLE.

- SORRY, PATRICK, I CAN'T.

I HAVE TO WOR-- OH.

YEAH, OKAY.

- GREAT.

SEE YOU THEN.

[grunts] - [sighs]

- [humming]

[lock clanking, hinge creaks]

OH!

[dramatic music]

HEY, BUDDY!

ARE YOU READY?

READY FOR YOUR FIRST DAY OF GLORIOUS UNEMPLOYMENT?

OR AS I LIKE TO CALL IT,

"FUN-EMPLOYMENT"!

- YEAH, SURE.

[slurps]

WHATEVER.

- THAT'S THE SPIRIT!

NOW, THE FIRST STOP ON OUR TOUR OF FUN-EMPLOYMENT

IS A HEALTHY BREAKFAST WITH OUR GOOD FRIEND MR. SQUIDWARD.

HEY, SQUIDWARD!

HOW ARE YOU THIS FINE MORNING?

- [growling]

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU...

KEEP... [grunts]

OFF... [grunts]

MY... [grunts]

PETUNIAS!

- [gobbles]

[gulps]

I'LL JUST SAVE THIS FOR LATER.

NOW YOU TRY.

- UH...

[slurps]

- [laughs] - HEY, SQUIDWARD.

LOOK AT ME. I'M FUN-EMPLOYED!

- [growling]

[grumbling]

- [slurps]

- HEY, YOU'RE GOOD AT THIS.

NEXT ON OUR ITINERARY,

A BRIEF MID-MORNING SIESTA.

[humming] [grunts]

[snoring]

- [meows]

- [sighs]

[groaning]

[gulps]

- [yawns]

ARE YOU FEELING ANY BETTER YET?

- [slurps] UH-UH.

- COME ON, SADPANTS.

YOU KNOW WHAT ALWAYS PICKS ME UP?

- NOPE.

- FREE LUNCH WITH FRIENDS!

- YIPPEE.

- OKAY, LET'S BEGIN THE EXPERIMENT.

- [gobbling]

HUH?

- MM-HMM.

OKAY, NEXT.

- OH, BOY, LUNCH!

[gobbling]

[gulps]

AHH.

[groaning]

- MORE! MORE!

- VERY INTERESTING. OKAY, NEXT.

SPONGEBOB! I ALMOST DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU.

YOU LOOK AWFUL! - [groaning]

- WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' WITH THESE HERE FREELOADERS?

- I GOT FIRED.

NOW I'M FUN-EMPLOYED. WHOO-HOO.

- WHOA, THERE. YOU DO NOT WANT TO EAT THAT.

- WHY? WHAT IS IT? - HECK IF I KNOW.

[whispers] THIS HERE'S A PSYCHOLOGICAL TEST TO SEE

HOW MUCH WEIRD GUNK FOLKS WILL EAT...

IF IT'S FREE.

WHO'S FOR SECONDS?

both: ME!

- HERE YA GO, LITTLE BUDDY.

- [gobbling]

- AHH. MMM!

- SPONGEBOB, YOU'RE A MESS.

YOU'RE FALLING APART.

COME ON NOW, SPONGEBOB.

YOU NEED TO PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER.

GET SOME STRUCTURE IN YOUR LIFE.

WHAT YOU NEED IS A NEW JOB.

- YOU'RE RIGHT, SANDY.

I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE, PATRICK.

UNEMPLOYMENT MAY BE FUN FOR YOU,

BUT I NEED TO GET A JOB.

- WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE FOOLING, YOU LOSER?

YOU COULDN'T KEEP A JOB IF YOU TRIED!

- HEY! YOU CAN'T TALK TO MY FRIEND LIKE THAT!

UNH! - [groans]

- DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, SPONGEBOB.

YOU NEED TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART.

- THANKS, PATRICK.

IT'S TIME TO REJOIN THE WORKFORCE.

GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT, HERE I COME!

[grunting]

YAH!

I'M READY! WHOO-HOO!

[tropical music]

* I'M READY, I'M READY *

* FOR A NEW JOB, FOR A NEW JOB *

* I'M READY FOR A NEW JOB, I'M READY *

*

GREETINGS, PURVEYOR OF ELONGATED SAUSAGE PRODUCTS!

I WOULD LOVE TO WORK AT YOUR ESTABLISHMENT.

- WELL, YOU DO LOOK ENTHUSIASTIC.

HMM. ALL RIGHT, KID.

LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.

SO THIS IS THE KITCHEN.

- HMM.

THIS GRILL IS NOT IN VERY GOOD SHAPE.

- OH, WE DON'T USE THE GRILL.

WE COOK EVERYTHING ON THE ROLLER.

- [screams]

- GOOD LUCK, KID.

[sizzling]

- HMM. THERE'S SOMETHING NOT QUITE RIGHT ABOUT THIS FOOD,

BUT I'M NOT SURE WHAT IT IS.

AHA!

[gulps, burps]

HEY! WHERE ARE THOSE WEENIES?

[grunts]

- YOUR WEENIES, SIR.

- WHAT IN THE NAME

OF DAVY JONES' GYM SHORTS ARE THESE?

- THEY'RE WEENIE PATTIES.

- WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF NUT?

YOU'VE RUINED MY WEENIES! YOU'RE FIRED!

- AAH! BUT, MR. KRABS, WHY?

- MR. WHO?

- I MEAN, MR. WEINER!

- JUST GO.

- WELL, THAT WAS A SETBACK.

HELLO, PIZZA PIEHOLE!

EXCUSE ME, MR. PIZZA MAN.

YOU NEED A FRY-COOK?

- OH, BOY, DO I! CAN YOU MAKE PIZZA?

- EH...PROBABLY.

- OH, THAT'S AMAZING. CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE HIRED.

- COOL.

WELL, IT'S NO KRABBY PATTY, BUT...

PERHAPS I'LL FIND CONTENTMENT.

- HEY, BUDDY, HOW'S THE PIZZA COMING?

- ALMOST DONE!

BUT I DID CHANGE THE RECIPE A BIT.

- [laughs] NO PROBLEM.

[bell dings]

A FEW EXTRA TOPPINGS NEVER HURT ANYONE.

HUH? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

YOU'VE TURNED AN INNOCENT PIZZA INTO...

A PIZZA PATTY!

IT'S AN ABOMINATION!

- YEAH, OF DELICIOUSNESS!

- YOU'RE FIRED!

- BUT WHO'LL MAKE THE KRABBY PATTIES?

- KRABBY PATTIES?

WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS, THE KRUSTY KRAB?

- LIKE I NEED HIS DUMB JOB, ANYWAY.

I HOPE HIS PEPPERONI FALLS OFF.

HEY, TACO MAN, MAY I HAVE A JOB, POR FAVOR?

- HMM. ALL RIGHT.

LET'S SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH A BURRITO.

[sizzling, clatter]

- HOW ABOUT THAT?

- INTERESTING.

IT'S SOME SORT OF BURRITO PATTY.

HMM.

WHO'D LIKE TO TASTE IT?

- I'LL GIVE IT A GO!

- YOU'RE FIRED!

- [whimpering]

BUT I'VE GIVEN YOU THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE, MR. KRABS!

[cries]

- GET TO STEPPIN'!

- [wailing]

[crashing]

- YOU'RE FIRED! - AAH!

- AND TAKE YOUR NOODLE PATTY WITH YOU!

- OH, I'LL TAKE IT, ALL RIGHT.

I'LL TAKE IT TO GO!

HOME.

[sighs]

FOR YEARS I WORKED AT THE KRUSTY KRAB.

NOW I'VE BEEN FIRED FIVE TIMES IN ONE DAY.

WHO ARE YOU GONNA COOK FOR NOW, SPONGEBOB?

- [meows]

- SORRY, GARY, YOU MUST BE STARVING.

DON'T WORRY, GARE-BEAR.

I'LL OPEN UP A CAN OF SNAILPO FOR YOU.

OH, NO.

WE'RE ALL OUT OF SNAILPO.

WE'LL JUST HAVE TO MAKE OUR OWN.

[tropical music]

*

[whistling]

[boiling]

PERFECT!

ONE HOMEMADE CAN OF SNAILPO!

- [meows]

- WHAT'S THAT, GARY?

IT'S THE BEST FOOD YOU'VE EVER HAD?

- [meows]

- [gobbling]

YEAH, THIS IS DEE-LICIOUS!

DOES IT HAVE ANY SIDE EFFECTS?

- ONLY SATISFACTION.

[sighs]

IF ONLY MY BOSSES LIKED MY COOKING

AS MUCH AS YOU TWO DO.

I MEAN, THREE.

[knock on door]

HELLO.

HMM. THAT'S ODD.

I COULD'VE SWORN I HEARD A KNOCK AT THE DOOR.

[muffled yells]

MR. WEENIE?

- CONGRATULATIONS, SPONGEBOB, YOU'VE BEEN PROMOTED.

- BUT YOU JUST FIRED ME.

- THAT'S MUSTARD UNDER THE BUN, MY BOY.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS,

MY CUSTOMERS LOVE YOUR LITTLE SLIDERS.

NOW GET TO WORK!

- I'M PRETTY SURE THIS IS ILLEGAL.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW?

- PSST!

HEY, KID. YOU NEED HELP OUTTA HERE?

- PIZZA PETE! YES, PLEASE.

THAT WEINER HAS ME CHAINED TO THE GRILL,

AND HE REALLY SEEMS TO BE RELISHING IT.

- I HAVE SOMETHING TO FREE YOU.

- PIZZA SAUCE?

I'M FREE!

- GREAT! NOW YOU CAN GET TO MY GRILL.

- WHAT?

[gasps]

PARMESAN-CRUSTED BREADSTICK!

WHOA!

- HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH MY FRY-COOK?

- [shouting]

[screams]

- [laughs]

I'LL TAKE ONE FRY-COOK TO GO!

[laughs]

- OH, THANK YOU, SENOR TACO!

OH, NO! NOT YOU TOO!

[screams] all: GET HIM!

[all grunting]

- [grunting]

WHOA!

- LET GO! - HE'S MINE!

- I WAS HERE FIRST! - NO, I WAS!

- STOP! UNHAND THAT SPONGE!

[gobbling]

[growls]

- IT'S A KILLER PATTY!

[groaning]

- HERE, TAKE HIM! JUST DON'T HURT ME.

[whimpering]

[sighs]

[humming]

AAH!

- KRABBY PATTY! YOU SAVED ME!

WELL, HERE WE GO AGAIN.

- UGH! THIS PLACE IS TERRIBLE!

- THE KRUSTY KRAB HAS REALLY GONE DOWNHILL.

- HOW CAN YOU SERVE THIS SLOP?

I'M NEVER EATING HERE AGAIN!

- WAIT! COME BACK! THAT WAS ME LAST CUSTOMER.

SPONGEBOB? SQUIDWARD, YOU FOUND HIM!

- [gasps] SQUIDWARD?

- I'M AFRAID SO.

SPONGEBOB...

- YES, SQUIDWARD? - YOU KNOW I HATE YOU, RIGHT?

- YES. YES, I DO.

- WELL, I HATE THE SMELL

OF BURNING KRABBY PATTIES EVEN MORE.

PLEASE COME BACK AND BE THE FRY-COOK AGAIN.

- WELL, IF IT'S OKAY WITH YOU, MR. KRABS.

- OH, LADDY, I SHOULD'VE NEVER LET YOU GO.

THE KRUSTY KRAB HAS FALLEN APART WITHOUT YOU.

YOU'RE REHIRED, BOY.

- ALL RIGHT!

NOW MY LIFE HAS PURPOSE AGAIN!

LET'S GET THIS PLACE CLEANED UP.

[warbling cry]

- HMM. NOT EXACTLY MY COLOR.

- THE KRUSTY KRAB IS BACK IN BUSINESS!

[cheering]

[indistinct chatter]

- WELL, SPONGEBOB, IT LOOKS LIKE THINGS ARE BACK TO NORMAL.

AND TO MAKE UP FOR THAT EXTRA NICKEL I WAS LOSING,

I INSTALLED A PAY TOILET.

- OH, DEAR, WHERE IS THAT NICKEL?

[laughter]

HUH? WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?