Original subtitles

- ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- * OHH...

* WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- * ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- * IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- * THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! - READY?

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

[laughing]

*

[waves crashing]

[lilting ukulele music]

*

[water bubbling]

- [chewing loudly]

- [humming]

- [whimpering]

[sobbing]

- WHAT'S THE MATTER, BUDDY?

YOU SEEM SO SAD.

- OH, YEAH?

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT'S SAD?

THIS!

- MY HAT IS SAD?

- NO!

YOU HAVE A SPECIAL HAT,

WHICH MEANS YOU GET TO GO TO YOUR SPECIAL HAPPY WORKY PLACE,

WHILE I JUST STAY BORED ALL DAY.

I WANT A SPECIAL HAPPY WORKY PLACE, TOO!

[crying] - FIRST THINGS FIRST, PATRICK.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?

- UH...

[wind blowing]

SAND.

- OH!

OOH, I GOT TO RUN. I HAVE PATTIES TO FLIP!

BUT I SURE HOPE YOU FIGURE YOUR PROBLEM OUT.

THINK ABOUT IT.

- THINK ABOUT IT.

THINK, PATRICK, THINK.

HMM. HMM.

MMM!

[pop, squeak]

THINKING IS PAINFUL.

BREAK TIME.

- ARE YOU IRRITABLE, LISTLESS, JOBLESS?

DO YOU EVER ASK YOURSELF, "I'M A LOSER.

WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?"

THEN LOOK NO FURTHER.

I HAVE THE ANSWER THAT'S HELPED MILLIONS--

- BE ALL YOU CAN POSSIBLY BE.

JOIN THE MARINE DOLPHINS.

- [chirps]

- [laughs maniacally]

HUH?

THE INESCAPABLE DISPLAY CASE!

NO!

- ALL IN A DAY'S WORK, EH, MERMAID MAN?

- REMEMBER, IT'S UP TO YOU TO REVEAL THE TRUE FACE OF CRIME.

SIGN UP TO BE PART OF THE MERMAID MAN

AND BARNACLE BOY JUNIOR CRIME FIGHTERS.

- I GOT TO FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE.

- FIGHT EVIL!

[squeak]

- OH, I WISH I WAS A SUPERHERO.

THAT'S IT.

I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE!

TO THE CHANGING ROOM.

[grunts] [fabric tearing]

[snap]

[grunts] [click]

AHH.

[grunts]

[humming]

AT LAST, I HAVE FOUND MY CALLING.

I AM PATRICK-MAN, DEFENDER OF BIKINI BOTTOM.

OOF!

- MISTER SQUIDWARD...

WHAT'S WITH ALL THE DILLY-DALLYING?

WE'VE GOT CUSTOMERS' MONEY TO TAKE.

- WHERE? [wind whistling]

- AAH!

WHERE IS EVERYBODY? [door opens]

- FEAR NOT.

PATRICK-MAN IS HERE.

- PATRICK.

I KNEW OUR NUMBER-ONE CUSTOMER WOULDN'T LET US DOWN.

- SHUSH, SHUSH-SHUSH-SHUSH-SHUSH.

IT'S PATRICK-MAN, MISTER KRABS.

- "PATRICK-MAN"?

WHAT KIND OF RIDICULOUS NAME IS THAT?

- OH, FORGET THE NAME.

LOOK AT THE RIDICULOUS OUTFIT.

WHAT IS THAT, A PAIR OF BRIEFS?

[both laughing]

- OOH.

BLARING EMPLOYEE LAUGHTER IN THE COMMON AREA?

[laughter]

HEY, PATRICK. WHAT'S WITH THE FANCY DUDS?

- MUST I EXPLAIN EVERYTHING?

I FOUND WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE.

I AM...

PATRICK-MAN!

- [gasps] THAT IS SO EXCITING!

I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL GARY, MY PARENTS, MY GRANDMA--

- SHH, SHH, SHH. SPONGEBOB...

MY IDENTITY MUST BE KEPT SECRET.

MY WORK HERE IS DONE.

PATRICK-MAN'S OFF.

THE CITY NEEDS MY HELP.

OH, I ALMOST FORGOT. CAN I GET A KRABBY PATTY?

[school bell rings]

- HEY, HOW'D YOU DO ON THE FINAL?

- I ACED IT.

- ME TOO. [both laughing]

- LOOKS LIKE ALL THAT STUDYING PAID OFF.

both: HIGH FIVE.

- [gasps]

- WHOA. ARE YOU OKAY, MAN?

- JUST REMEMBER THIS. VIOLENCE SOLVES NOTHING.

- "VIOLENCE"?

WE WERE JUST GIVING HIGH FIVES--

- NO TIME FOR SILLY TALK, CITIZEN.

PATRICK-MAN IS NEEDED ELSEWHERE.

- PLEASE, MA'AM, ALLOW ME.

- HUH?

WHY, THANK YOU, YOUNG MAN.

[bell dings]

- [chuckles] NOT A PROBLEM, MA'AM.

IT'S THE LEAST I COULD DO--

OH! [whistling wind]

SORRY, LADY, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

[bell dings]

- OH, DEAR.

[horn honks]

OH, DEAR! [traffic whooshing]

[wind whistling]

[skids]

- OOH, SWEET DOLLAR. OH, JUST LOOK AT YOU--

SO CLEAN, SO CRISP.

NOW COME TO KRABSY--

- HALT!

PATRICK-MAN IS ON TO YOU, THIEF.

STEALING IS BAD.

BAD!

- BUT I FOUND THAT DOLLAR.

- NO, ENOUGH!

THIS DOLLAR SHALL STAY ON THE SIDEWALK,

WHERE IT BELONGS.

WITH NEPTUNE'S SWIFTNESS, AWAY!

- HEY, A DOLLAR. [laughs]

THIS MUST BE MY LUCK DAY.

- [chewing loudly]

- HELP! HELP, SOMEBODY! - HUH?

- HELP!

- SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER JOB FOR PATRICK-MAN.

[slurps]

I'LL FINISH YOU OFF LATER, DAY-OLD DOUGHNUTS.

RIGHT NOW I MUST MOVE RAPIDLY AND ACT HEROICALLY.

WHAT'S THIS? DON'T MOVE! AND FREEZE!

- HUH?

- LET'S SEE YA TRY TO BUST OUT OF THAT, BOAT THIEF.

- BOAT THIEF? HEAVENS, NO.

MY POOR STUDENT IS TRAPPED INSIDE THIS BOAT.

THE DOORS ARE JAMMED.

- JAMMED DOORS, HUH?

A LIKELY STORY.

WITH NEPTUNE'S SWIFTNESS...

AWAY!

- OH, MERCIFUL NEPTUNE, THE AUTHORITIES ARE HERE.

OH, YOU'LL BE OUT OF THERE IN NO TIME.

- WELL, WHAT HAVE WE HERE?

"COPS, THIS IS BOAT THIEF."

LOOKS LIKE PATRICK-MAN CAUGHT ANOTHER ONE.

WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT SUPERHEROES?

- BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

- GRAND THEFT VESSEL IS A FELONY.

YOU REMEMBER WHAT A FELONY IS, DON'T YOU, MRS. PUFF?

- FELONY!

[stammers]

UGH. PATRICK-MAN.

[tires squealing]

- HELP.

- ORDER UP.

ANOTHER KRABBY PATTY FOR THE GENTLEMAN.

- THANK YOU.

LET'S HOPE PATRICK-MAN DOESN'T CONFISCATE THIS ONE.

- YEAH. HE DRANK MY SHAKE, TOO.

SAID IT WAS PART OF AN EVIL PLOT.

- SORRY, MA'AM. I'LL GET YOU ANOTHER.

PATRICK HAS TAKEN THINGS TOO FAR.

- HEY, THAT'S PATRICK-MAN TO YOU.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE?

- SOMETHING A NONHERO CIVILIAN COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND.

YOW-OOH!

I'M ABOUT TO UNMASK ONE OF BIKINI BOTTOM'S BIGGEST FOES,

RIGHT HERE IN THE KRUSTY KRAB.

I'VE INTERCEPTED HIS EVIL SCHEME.

- YOU'VE INTERCEPTED A RECIPE FOR TOASTED CORAL BITS.

DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING A LITTLE OVERBOARD

WITH THIS PATRICK-MAN THING?

- "OVERBOARD"?

DO YOU CALL THIS "OVERBOARD"?

AWAY, WITH NEPTUNE'S...

SWIFTNESS. [grunts]

VILLAINS AND CRIMINALS, BEWARE! [grunts]

PATRICK-MAN IS HERE!

pop!

OH!

- GOOD GRACIOUS.

- AND HE ALWAYS FINDS OUT...

WHO HIDES UNDER THE MASK.

- HEY, MAN,

I'D LIKE TO HOLD ONTO MY FACE, THANK YOU.

- OH, RIGHT.

NOW I GOT YA.

- OUCH!

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE AND NEVER COME BACK.

- WHAT?

- YOWZA.

- ALL RIGHT, THAT DOES IT.

- ADMIT IT, MASKED MARAUDER.

- ENOUGH!

WE'VE ALL HAD OUR FILL OF PATRICK-MAN.

- BUT I WAS ABOUT TO UNMASK A SUPERVILLAIN.

- SURE YOU WERE. [stretching]

- WHAT THE BARNACLES ARE YOU DOING?

- PROTECTING BIKINI BOTTOM FROM A SCOUNDREL.

- OH, DEAR.

- LET HER GO, PATRICK.

- NO WAY.

- [laughing evilly]

- HEY, WHERE'D HE COME FROM?

- [gasps] THE DIRTY BUBBLE!

- THE DIRTY BUBBLE?

I WANTED TO UNMASK MAN-RAY.

- [laughs]

FOOLS, YOU'VE BLOWN MY COVER.

NOW TASTE MY WRATH. [chuckles]

- WHAT NOW, PATRICK-MAN?

- SPONGEBOB, YOU'RE LOOKING AT A SUPERHERO.

SO, NATURALLY, I WILL RELY ON MY SUPERPOWERS...

AND THROW SOME STUFF. [grunts]

- [laughs] I WOULDN'T CALL THAT A TOTAL MISS.

- TAKE THIS, BEAST. [grunts]

- PATRICK--AAH!

- [gulps]

MMM-MMM. YUMMY SPONGE.

- YOU'VE DISABLED ME EMPLOYEES AND TRASHED ME RESTAURANT.

THINK YOU MIGHT GO FOR THE BUBBLE, NOW?

- I HAVE HIM RIGHT WHERE I WANT HIM...

FOR THE PIT PUNCH.

[air hissing]

- [groaning]

- HA! LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN.

BUT THIS TIME I ATTACK. [chuckles]

[laughing] - [whimpering]

LUNCH.

[loud pop]

[all cheering]

- WAY TO GO, BUDDY.

YOU'RE A HERO.

UH, MAY I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

- WHY, OF COURSE, YOUNG MAN.

THAT'S "SPONGEBOB" WITH TWO SEVENS, RIGHT?

- WHAT'S YOUR NEXT EXCITING ADVENTURE, PATRICK-MAN?

- ACTUALLY...

IT'S PATRICK TO YOU.

I'M RETIRING.

HAVING A JOB IS TOO MUCH WORK.

- NOT SO FAST.

I THINK I NEED YOU TO USE YOUR SUPERPOWERS ONE LAST TIME.

- WHAT'S THIS?