Original subtitles

- ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

all: AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

- * OHH...

* WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- * ABSORBENT AND YELLOW AND POROUS IS HE *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- * IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE SOMETHING YOU WISH *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- * THEN DROP ON THE DECK AND FLOP LIKE A FISH *

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! - READY?

all: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

- * SPONGEBOB

* SQUAREPANTS!

[laughing]

[flute tune]

- [whistling]

OH, I'VE MADE A MESS.

AND THAT MEANS, CLEANING TIME!

MY EYES!

MY SPRAY.

OH, NO. IT ROLLED...

BENEATH THE GRILL.

I CAN DO THIS.

NOPE.

A-HA! GOTCHA!

[screams]

AN URCHIN!

[scared gulp]

- NOTHING EVER HAPPENS IN THIS DUMP.

- SQUID...

- WHY DID I SAY THAT?

- WARD.

[phone rings]

- KRUSTY KRAB.

- HELP!

- [yelling] WHAT?

- (screams)

- WHAT ARE YOU SCREAMING ABOUT?

- SEA URCHIN!

both: MR. KRABS!

- WHAT'S ALL THE RUCKUS?

- THERE'S AN URCHIN IN THE KITCHEN!

- WHAT'RE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

THE KRUSTY KRAB IS THE STANDARD IN FAST FOOD CLEANLINESS!

AN URCHIN WOULDN'T DARE STEP SPINE

IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT.

[screams]

[sniffs]

THE GRILL IS STILL ON, ISN'T IT?

[all scream]

[all sigh]

- THERE IT IS!

I'LL GET IT.

GOT IT.

- HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.

GOTCHA, YOU PRICKLY PEST!

WHOA! WHOA-O!

- SQUIDWARD, DON'T LET IT IN THE DINING ROOM!

YOU'RE OUR LAST LINE OF DEFENSE.

- I'M ON IT.

- THIS IS TERRIBLE!

YOU SHOULD NEVER PUT THAT MUCH KETCHUP ON A KRABBY PATTY.

[relieved sighs]

- [choking]

- I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK.

- WHEW! THAT WAS CLOSE.

THANK GOODNESS NO ONE NOTICED

[low] THE URCHIN.

all: URCHIN?

[all scream]

- [laughs]

FINALLY, I HAVE A FOOLPROOF PLAN

TO STEAL THE KRABBY PATTY SECRET FORMULA.

KRABS WILL NEVER RECOGNIZE ME WEARING...

THESE GLASSES!

[all screaming]

WHAT IN THE SEAHORSE IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?

- PLANKTON? OH, THAT'S ALL WE NEED.

BEAT IT, YOU CROOK!

WE HAVE ENOUGH PESTS ALREADY.

- PESTS? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

[screams]

AN URCHIN!

I HATE THOSE THINGS! [snap]

THIS WON'T DO AT ALL.

I CAN'T STEAL THE SECRET FORMULA

WITH THAT VERMIN RUNNING AROUND.

I PROPOSE A TRUCE, KRABS.

I'LL HELP YOU GET RID OF THAT CREATURE,

AND I PROMISE NOT TO STEAL THE SECRET FORMULA

UNTIL IT'S GONE.

CROOK'S HONOR.

- HMM.

IT MAY TAKE A PEST TO CATCH A PEST.

IT'S A DEAL, BUT NO TRICKS,

OR YOU'LL BE THE CHEF'S SPECIAL.

- DON'T WORRY.

[cell phone dialing]

KAREN?

- [indistinct phone chatter]

- NO, I DON'T HAVE IT.

WHY DO YOU EVEN BOTHER ASKING?

- [indistinct phone chatter]

- YEAH, LOOK,

SEND OVER MY KILLER DEATH ROBOT, WOULD YOU?

- [indistinct phone chatter] - NO, THE OTHER ONE.

- [indistinct phone chatter]

- I LOVE YOU TOO, SNOOKUMS.

HELP IS ON ITS WAY.

BEHOLD!

YOUR CHAMPION!

- THAT PIECE OF JUNK?

- HOLD ON, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT IN ACTION YET.

I'LL JUST SET IT FOR OUR QUARRY.

NO.

- [Mr. Krabs' voice] MONEY, MONEY, MONEY...

- IGNORE THAT ONE.

A-HA! BINGO.

YOU HAVE YOUR ORDERS, ATTACK!

- [raspberries]

- OH, NO YOU DON'T!

[growls]

MALLET, PLEASE.

[smash]

- OKAY, MAYBE THE DEATH ROBOT WASN'T THE BEST IDEA.

- YOU THINK?

SPONGEBOB!

- HERE, SIR.

- THAT LITTLE MONSTER'S STILL IN THERE.

YOU OPEN THE REGISTER, I'LL CATCH HIM IN HERE.

- AYE AYE, CAP'N.

HERE GOES NOTHING.

- [screams]

ME MONEY!

DID I GET IT?

- UH...MR. KRABS?

- [screams]

- [spits]

- OH, NO. OH, NO.

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

YES!

OH, MY PRIZED SPINY SUCCULENT.

THANK NEPTUNE YOU'RE SAFE.

- [gasps]

MR. KRABS, LOOK.

ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING?

- I'M NOT SURE I LIKE WHERE THIS IS HEADING.

- CACTUS? - CACTUS.

- SPOON? - SPOON.

- PLANKTON?

- PLANKTON.

- AW, COME ON!

THERE'S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY.

- SPRAY CAN? - SPRAY CAN.

[can rattles]

[spraying]

- [coughs]

- HMM.

I THINK OUR DARLING LITTLE DECOY STILL NEEDS SOMETHING.

- OH, BROTHER.

- NOW, GET IN THERE, PLANKTONELLA,

AND LURE THAT ROTTEN LITTLE HEATH HAZARD

OUT OF ME LIVELIHOOD.

- I'M ONLY HELPING YOU OUT SO I CAN GET BACK

TO ROBBING YOU BLIND.

- DON'T WORRY, PLANKTON.

WE'RE BEHIND YOU 100%.

- THIS GETUP IS 100% HUMILIATING.

HERE, URCHIN, URCHIN, URCHIN.

HERE, YOU DIRTY, FILTH-SPREADING PORCUPINE.

I'M WEARING LIPSTICK HERE. COME ON, LET'S GO!

HUH? WHAT WAS THAT?

LOOK SHARP, PLANKTONELLA.

I THINK WE'RE BEING WATCHED.

[gasps]

UH, HELLO.

- PSST! GO ON, PLANKTON.

MAKE WITH THE ROMANCE.

- FINE.

UH, EH, HEY THERE, HANDSOME.

YOU'RE CUTE... FOR A PARASITE.

- [panting]

- SLOW DOWN THERE, BUDDY.

WHY DON'T WE START WITH A NICE, ROMANTIC STROLL?

OUTSIDE, FAR AWAY FROM THE KRUSTY KRAB

AND ITS SECRET FORMULA.

OKAY, OUCH!

HEY!

WHAT KIND OF AN URCHIN DO YOU THINK I AM?

[screams]

[panting]

WHAT COULD BE WORSE THAN

BEING ROMANTICALLY PURSUED BY A RABID SEA URCHIN?

A HUNDRED URCHINS?

[lips puckering]

[screams]

- GET READY. HERE THEY COME.

- [screams]

- HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL.

BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES!

IT'S A STAMPEDE!

- COME ON, LET ME OUT!

[lips puckering]

MOMMY!

COME ON, OPEN UP!

HELP!

GET ME OUTTA HERE!

- POOR PLANKTON.

- AH, WHO CARES ABOUT PLANKTON?

WHAT ABOUT ME RESTAURANT?

- I HEARD THAT!

- ENOUGH'S ENOUGH.

IT'S TIME TO END THIS MADNESS.

LET'S PUT THIS FREAK SHOW ON ICE.

- HEY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

THAT SEEMS TO BE SLOWING THEM DOWN.

BETTER CRANK IT ALL THE WAY DOWN JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE.

THAT OUGHT TO DO IT.

- [gasps] IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

OKAY, I'M READY.

- HERE GOES NOTHING.

- HURRY, SQUIDWARD.

WE GOT THEM!

WHOA, GOT IT.

- PHEW!

- SO WHERE DO WE RELEASE THEM?

- I DON'T CARE.

AS LONG AS IT'S FAR AWAY FROM THE KRUSTY KRAB.

- HOW'S THIS, MR. KRABS?

- KEEP GOING.

- HOW ABOUT NOW?

- FARTHER.

[cell phone rings]

- IS THIS FAR ENOUGH?

- NO, FARTHER.

HUH.

WELL, THAT TAKES CARE OF THAT PARTICULAR PROBLEM.

[phone rings]

KRUSTY KRAB.

- IS THIS FAR ENOUGH? [animals hooting]

- NOT FAR ENOUGH. KEEP GOING.

- [panting]

WELL, I GUESS THIS IS FAR ENOUGH.

THERE YOU GO, LITTLE FELLAS.

THIS WILL BE YOUR NEW HOME.

RUN! BE FREE!

UH-OH.

- [screams]

SPONGEBOB!

- [whistling]