Original subtitles

[kooky music]

*

- [snoring]

[alarm rings]

[ringing stops]

- IT'S QUITTING TIME, SPONGEBOB.

GO HOME.

- HMM.

- QUIT-TING TIME!

- [sniffs]

- GO HOME!

[watch beeps]

- OH, MY. IT'S TIME TO GO HOME.

SQUIDWARD, WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE?

- [frustrated scream]

- WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU?

I CAN'T THROW YOU AWAY.

[giggles]

[horn honks]

BLEH!

[flies buzzing]

BUT I DO HAVE TO THROW AWAY THE TRASH.

[loud breathing]

WHAT'S THIS?

SOMEONE THREW AWAY A BOOK.

YOU SHOULDN'T THROW AWAY BOOKS.

- [growling]

- [screams]

- [growls]

- [teeth chattering]

[grunts]

OH, SANDY? YOU'RE A TRASH MONSTER?

- HECK, NO.

I WAS BREAKING A RECORD

FOR ROOTING AROUND IN A TRASH BIN.

IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE

IN THE GUINNESS O'RIPLEY ENORMOUS BOOK

OF CURIOSITIES, ODDITIES, AND WORLD RECORDS.

LOOKEE HERE, SPONGEBOB.

"STARING RECORD: FIVE DAYS."

"MOST FRIES UP NOSE,

HOLDING YOUR BREATH."

- WOW. - YES, SIREE.

I SWEAR BY THE POWER OF TEXAS,

I'M GOING TO BREAK ALL THE RECORDS IN THIS HERE BOOK!

WHAT'S THE NEXT CHALLENGE?

- LET ME SEE. OOH.

"WORLD'S LONGEST TONGUE."

- WELL, THAT'S EASY.

[stretching sounds]

106, 107...

- HOLD TIGHT, SANDY. [grunts]

- 108, 109, 110.

- THAT'S IT, SANDY. YOU DID IT.

- YEEHAW!

[thud]

- LET'S SEE--YIKES!

SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL.

- IS IT DANGEROUS?

- YEAH, YOU COULD SAY THAT.

YOU HAVE TO EAT AS MUCH CHUM AS YOU CAN.

- CHUM, HUH? THAT'S NOT TOO BAD.

- RAW.

- RAW? [gulps]

- YOU WANT WHAT?

- ONE ORDER OF CHUM PLEASE. - RAW.

- LOOK, I KNOW I'M AN EVIL, HEARTLESS MASTERMIND,

BUT NO ONE CAN INGEST RAW CHUM AND SURVIVE.

- OH, YEAH?

WELL, CHARLIE MACKEREL, THE CURRENT RECORD HOLDER DID.

- REALLY?

- FOR 30 SECONDS.

- WELL, IT'S YOUR FUNERAL.

[wheels squeaking]

- OKAY, SANDY. EAT UP.

[chum wheezes]

- UH, SPONGEBOB, I'VE CHANGED MY--

[groans]

[gulps]

[screams]

[panting]

[monstrous grunting]

WORLD! RECORD!

[beeping]

- SANDY, YOU DID IT. YOU SURVIVED.

- AH!

- UH-OH. HOLD ON, SANDY.

I KNOW JUST WHAT YOU NEED.

[inhales]

A KRABBY PATTY.

[bell dings]

[rooster crows] - [coughs, gasps]

I DID IT! I'M ALIVE.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW THEM EXPERTS

THE PICTURES OF MY RECORD-BREAKING FEATS.

- OH, NO. I FORGOT MY CAMERA.

- WHAT? SPONGEBOB!

I NEED PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF OF MY AMAZING DEEDS.

- I'LL GO GET THE CAMERA.

- WELL, HURRY UP. I'VE GOT RECORD-BREAKING TO DO.

- OH, MY.

[robots beeping]

- GOT YOUR CAMERA?

- YOU BETCHA.

- GREAT.

TAKE A PICTURE OF ME CHUCKING THIS LAST WOODCHUCK

TO BREAK THE WOODCHUCK CHUCKING WORLD RECORD.

READY, COUSIN EARL?

- LET HER RIP, DARLIN'!

- [grunts]

- [robotic voice] 100 WOODCHUCKS CHUCKED.

RECORD BROKEN.

- THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP, COUSINS.

[chattering]

- ANYTIME. - SEE YOU ALL NEXT CHRISTMAS.

BYE.

- WOW, SANDY. WHAT IS ALL THIS?

- I'VE DECIDED TO GO ABOUT THIS SCIENTIFICALLY.

I FEEL WITH CAREFUL PLANNING AND PRECISE DELEGATION

OF APPROPRIATE TASKS,

I CAN MANAGE THE SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION

OF THE MAXIMUM NUMBER OF RECORDS BROKEN

IN THE LEAST AMOUNT OF TIME.

BOOK.

PICTURE.

- HERE YOU GO.

- THANK YOU.

[giggles]

SO WHAT'S NEXT?

OH, YEAH. "LONGEST TOOTH."

HOW'S THE CALCIUM INFUSION GOING?

IT IS READY, MS. CHEEKS.

- OUTSTANDING.

HERE. HOLD THIS.

[squirts]

[groans]

[thud]

HOW DID I DO?

- PLEASE HOLD THIS END.

35 FEET.

RECORD BROKEN.

[thud]

- OUCH.

[thud]

- TAKE A PICTURE.

- SAY, "CHEESE."

- CHEESE.

[camera shutter clicks]

PICTURE. - HERE YOU GO.

- THANK YOU.

NEXT, "SPICIEST CHILI GARGLE."

[chili bubbling]

[gulping]

[gargling]

[gulps] - GOT IT.

YOU OKAY?

[stomach rumbling]

[shouts]

- [sniffs]

DO YOU SMELL SOUP?

- WHAT'S NEXT?

- "LARGEST RUBBER BAND BALL."

[camera shutter clicks]

[rubber band snaps]

- WHOO-HOO! WHAT'S NEXT?

- "MOST COBRAS MILKED."

- [giggles] SAY, "CHEESE."

- CHEESE.

- [gasps] NICE SNAKES.

[choking]

- NEXT?

- "MOST WALNUTS IN MOUTH."

- JUST ONE MORE.

OH, NO.

[shouts]

NEXT!

- "MOST CHAIN SAWS JUGGLED."

[chain saws buzzing]

- OKAY, SHOOT.

- GOT IT. SO, UH, HOW DO YOU STOP?

- WHAT? - I SAID, "HOW DO YOU STOP?"

- WHAT? - HOW DO YOU STOP?

- WHY, THAT'S EASY. I JUST...

[grunts] STOP.

THEN RUN LIKE HECK.

NOT THAT WAY.

COME ON, SPONGEBOB. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER.

WE'VE STILL GOT A TON OF RECORDS TO BREAK.

OH, YEAH. YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS ONE.

- I DON'T KNOW, SANDY.

THIS IS GETTING KIND OF DANGEROUS.

- COME ON, YOU DON'T NEED YOUR HELMET.

THIS ONE'S OUTSIDE. FOLLOW ME.

- OH, MY. - THERE IT IS.

THE WORLD'S LARGEST HOUSE OF CARDS.

- THAT'S AMAZING.

GET IN FRONT SO I CAN TAKE A PICTURE.

- NAH. LET'S GET A SHOT FROM THE TOP.

[elevator bell dings]

- WHAT THE--?

OH, HEY.

IT'S SOLITAIRE.

I LOVE THIS GAME! [laughs]

HEY, I KICK A TOUCHDOWN!

[cards jingling]

[both screaming]

- WHAT'S NEXT?

- UM, I THINK I SMELL GARY'S SANDBOX.

GOT TO GO CLEAN IT.

NOW.

I THINK YOU BROKE A RECORD TODAY, GARY.

WORLD'S STINKIEST LITTER BOX. EWW.

OOH.

I'M WORRIED ABOUT SANDY.

SHE'S GOT RECORD-BREAKING FEVER.

[Gary meows]

YOU'RE RIGHT. SHE DOES NEED MY HELP.

I MUST STOP THIS MADNESS!

IT'S ALL THAT BOOK'S FAULT.

THE BOOK IS EVIL.

THE BOOK MUST BE DESTROYED!

[electricity crackles]

[robot beeping]

[robotic voice] WHY DON'T YOU TAKE FIVE?

I WILL HOLD THE BOOK.

- THANK NEPTUNE'S GEARS.

MY WHEELS ARE KILLING ME.

- HEY! WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

GET BACK IN LINE.

I NEED EVERY AVAILABLE ROBOT FOR THIS ONE.

MOST ROBOTS BUILT AND DESTROYED IN A DAY.

[crushing sounds]

- 656.

[crushing sounds] 657.

OH, THE ARTIFICIAL HUMANITY.

- OH, NO, YOU DON'T.

WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.

- [screams]

[bell dings]

- 679. RECORD BROKEN. - [squealing]

[bell dings]

OKAY. SHUT HER DOWN.

- OH, MY-- - WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

- MY STOMACH FEELS FUNNY. - WELL, LET'S HAVE A LOOK.

SPONGEBOB? - OH, HI, SANDY.

- [groans]

- SPONGEBOB, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- I'M HERE TO SAVE YOU FROM--FROM THIS BOOK.

I'M GOING TO DESTROY IT BEFORE SOMEONE GETS KILLED.

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU, SANDY.

[crying] I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU!

- OH, DON'T BE SILLY, SPONGEBOB. I'M DONE WITH THAT BOOK.

I BEAT EVERY RECORD IN HERE.

IN FACT, I'VE INVITED THE AUTHOR TO VERIFY

MY EMINENCE.

- THANK YOU. HMM.

YES. OH, MY.

I SEE. WELL, THEN.

I'M AFRAID YOU'VE BROKEN NO RECORDS.

both: HUH? - THIS BOOK IS 30 YEARS OLD.

THESE RECORDS WERE BROKEN AGES AGO.

YOU, HOWEVER, HAVE SET A BRAND-NEW RECORD.

MOST INJURIES SUSTAINED WHILE HELPING A FRIEND.

- GOOD FOR YOU, SPONGEBOB.

[shatters]

- UM, HOORAY.

- SAY, "CHEESE." [camera shutter clicks]