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1
00:00:23,540 --> 00:00:24,708
Boner.
2
00:00:26,343 --> 00:00:27,744
Funny word.
3
00:00:28,246 --> 00:00:29,546
I wonder who made it up.
4
00:00:29,613 --> 00:00:32,447
Like, who was that first guy?
5
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:34,417
To just say boner?
6
00:00:35,753 --> 00:00:38,555
If you think about it long
enough, you probably get one.
7
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,524
I mean, I do.
8
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:50,398
And it is so worth it when
you're alone just before you
9
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:55,773
blow and everything else
in the world disappears.
10
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:04,048
But the really great part is
what you don't think about
11
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:08,585
all the crappy, boring shit
you have to do that you hate.
12
00:01:12,824 --> 00:01:13,991
In a minute.
13
00:01:37,915 --> 00:01:39,449
One, two.
14
00:01:40,785 --> 00:01:41,986
Hand me a rag, will you?
15
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:46,588
Light.
16
00:01:46,590 --> 00:01:49,357
And seriously, anything
is better than holding the
17
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:52,330
fucking flashlight while dad
pretends to be a car mechanic.
18
00:01:54,464 --> 00:01:56,499
Come on, Randy, let's go.
19
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:00,503
Dad, do you think I could, uh.
20
00:02:01,504 --> 00:02:02,472
Go on.
21
00:02:02,639 --> 00:02:06,010
Get. Give me the
damn flashlight.
22
00:02:06,811 --> 00:02:09,814
You know, it's not all
driving around chasing girls.
23
00:02:14,852 --> 00:02:16,151
Kitty boys.
24
00:02:16,153 --> 00:02:17,786
That's us.
25
00:02:17,788 --> 00:02:20,990
So we got the name from this
legal brothel in Nevada, the
26
00:02:20,992 --> 00:02:22,159
kitty ranch.
27
00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:25,363
And I know you got to pay for
it, but no more virgin crap.
28
00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:31,733
Mark's my best friend, I
guess, but also a real dick.
29
00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:34,370
Which is why he calls me Dandy
Randy and shit, even though I'm
30
00:02:34,372 --> 00:02:35,570
not dandy.
31
00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:38,007
And going to the kitty ranch
will definitely prove I'm not,
32
00:02:38,009 --> 00:02:40,011
you know, dandy.
33
00:02:41,045 --> 00:02:44,179
And then there's Mark's friend
Samson, who knows everything
34
00:02:44,181 --> 00:02:45,147
about the kitty ranch.
35
00:02:45,149 --> 00:02:46,081
His older brother took him
36
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:47,482
there last year
for his birthday.
37
00:02:47,484 --> 00:02:49,552
So he's the professional.
38
00:02:49,987 --> 00:02:52,821
Adam is also a,
you know, virgin.
39
00:02:52,823 --> 00:02:57,525
But he's also really smart,
like Genius, but no one can
40
00:02:57,527 --> 00:02:59,196
tell because he's
stoned all the time.
41
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,196
He took this picture of us
so we could have something to
42
00:03:01,198 --> 00:03:02,867
remember when we got old.
43
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,901
I mean, we couldn't take home
a souvenir from a whorehouse.
44
00:03:05,903 --> 00:03:07,104
You know what I mean?
45
00:03:07,504 --> 00:03:08,605
There, there.
46
00:03:10,041 --> 00:03:11,842
Let's fucking get laid.
47
00:03:13,844 --> 00:03:15,780
I came all over her face.
48
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,553
Big basketball sized cities.
49
00:03:25,555 --> 00:03:27,089
Basket, basketball.
50
00:03:27,091 --> 00:03:28,190
Tit, titties.
51
00:03:28,192 --> 00:03:29,524
I love basketball.
52
00:03:29,526 --> 00:03:31,427
I caused a natural
disaster, bro.
53
00:03:31,429 --> 00:03:32,593
Hell, yeah.
54
00:03:32,595 --> 00:03:34,196
I mean, you're not gonna be
playing basketball with her.
55
00:03:34,198 --> 00:03:35,465
I could be.
56
00:03:36,801 --> 00:03:37,967
Oh, Jesus.
57
00:03:37,969 --> 00:03:43,038
I myself want a woman that
knows how to dress herself.
58
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,975
Because then, you know,
I'm more attracted to that.
59
00:03:45,977 --> 00:03:48,143
And maybe she could give
me some fashion sense.
60
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,081
Jesus fucking Christ, guys.
61
00:03:50,247 --> 00:03:51,947
Leave your dicks back
in kindergarten.
62
00:03:51,949 --> 00:03:53,782
It's like a candy
wrapper, right?
63
00:03:53,784 --> 00:03:54,249
When you look.
64
00:03:54,251 --> 00:03:55,451
At candy.
65
00:03:55,453 --> 00:03:56,919
You're not attracted to
what the candy looks like.
66
00:03:56,921 --> 00:03:57,987
Candy normally looks like shit.
67
00:03:57,989 --> 00:03:59,955
You're attracted
to the wrapper.
68
00:03:59,957 --> 00:04:01,123
Oh my God, dude.
69
00:04:01,125 --> 00:04:02,590
You're trying to
undress her, man.
70
00:04:02,592 --> 00:04:04,559
You're trying to get
her naked and nail her.
71
00:04:04,561 --> 00:04:07,131
Right, but I'm just kind of
thinking about more than that.
72
00:04:13,636 --> 00:04:15,570
Amway. Fucking rule.
73
00:04:15,572 --> 00:04:17,106
Sampson sells soap and
household
74
00:04:17,108 --> 00:04:18,506
products to the
neighborhood moms.
75
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:22,577
253 Buck-a-rooney's
in one hour.
76
00:04:22,579 --> 00:04:24,079
He wants to be a
millionaire by 25.
77
00:04:24,081 --> 00:04:25,147
So I guess he's the guy to take
78
00:04:25,149 --> 00:04:26,415
charge of our
mission to get laid.
79
00:04:26,417 --> 00:04:29,684
All you got to do is get, like,
ten people to sign up, and then
80
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:30,853
you step up to junior bronze.
81
00:04:30,855 --> 00:04:33,489
And that is where the money is.
82
00:04:33,491 --> 00:04:35,625
Here. It's yours.
83
00:04:36,093 --> 00:04:38,961
Rick Van Rich is a fucking
free market genius.
84
00:04:38,963 --> 00:04:40,297
He's fucking brilliant.
85
00:04:41,165 --> 00:04:43,265
Oh, and by the way, you might
86
00:04:43,267 --> 00:04:45,668
want to lose the
baby face, my friend.
87
00:04:45,770 --> 00:04:47,302
Flirting with the
customers is key.
88
00:04:47,304 --> 00:04:49,872
And while the housewives love a
89
00:04:49,874 --> 00:04:51,774
strong jawline,
you'll get there.
90
00:04:51,776 --> 00:04:53,008
But listen to that tape.
91
00:04:53,010 --> 00:04:54,642
I got a whole box full.
92
00:04:54,644 --> 00:04:57,714
A seriously mark, $60
gets you a starter kit.
93
00:04:57,815 --> 00:04:59,948
If I had 60 bucks I'd spend
it on some pussy.
94
00:04:59,950 --> 00:05:03,152
Fucking A. Now, that
is number one, boys.
95
00:05:03,154 --> 00:05:08,793
Okay. The good lord put pussy
on this earth to be banged.
96
00:05:08,893 --> 00:05:11,160
I hear that you boys need my
97
00:05:11,162 --> 00:05:14,664
wisdom on purchasing said pussy.
98
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:18,133
Gotta get Randy here laid
before his dick falls off from
99
00:05:18,135 --> 00:05:19,068
lack of use.
100
00:05:19,070 --> 00:05:20,171
You won't get laid, huh?
101
00:05:20,304 --> 00:05:21,138
Yeah.
102
00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,174
I want some pussy.
103
00:05:23,841 --> 00:05:25,207
Hey, there's nothing
funny about
104
00:05:25,209 --> 00:05:26,574
a man wanting some pussy, Mark.
105
00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:29,878
- Yeah, but.
- I said there's nothing funny.
106
00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:30,848
All right.
107
00:05:31,681 --> 00:05:33,315
Okay, maybe I'll tag along.
108
00:05:33,317 --> 00:05:34,883
And not because I
need to pay for it.
109
00:05:34,885 --> 00:05:36,185
Because I got those bitches
110
00:05:36,187 --> 00:05:38,686
lining up begging
for my sweet dick.
111
00:05:38,688 --> 00:05:40,089
There's no room in
your bug, though.
112
00:05:40,091 --> 00:05:42,259
Randy's dad's got
a station wagon.
113
00:05:44,028 --> 00:05:47,898
Bitchin. Randy, my man,
we're gonna get you laid.
114
00:06:18,262 --> 00:06:19,696
Almost done with homework?
115
00:06:20,231 --> 00:06:20,896
Almost.
116
00:06:20,898 --> 00:06:23,868
Hurry up. It's based 1999 time.
117
00:06:25,336 --> 00:06:30,941
3, 2, 1, 0.
All engine running.
118
00:06:31,142 --> 00:06:33,878
Liftoff! We have a liftoff.
119
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:49,293
Open your textbooks
to page 85, please.
120
00:06:50,427 --> 00:06:51,328
All right.
121
00:06:51,428 --> 00:06:54,731
When an individual sperm.
122
00:07:05,409 --> 00:07:09,079
Mr. Randy Parker,
can you tell us?
123
00:07:11,448 --> 00:07:12,682
Uh.
124
00:07:14,185 --> 00:07:16,453
Can you repeat the
question, please?
125
00:07:17,087 --> 00:07:22,758
When an individual sperm
fertilizes an egg, what
126
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:24,762
immediately happens to the egg?
127
00:07:28,032 --> 00:07:29,665
Let's focus people.
128
00:07:29,667 --> 00:07:32,036
Who has the answer for
Mr. Parker?
129
00:07:32,670 --> 00:07:34,937
Yes. Uh, new girl, miss, uh.
130
00:07:34,939 --> 00:07:35,804
Melissa.
131
00:07:35,806 --> 00:07:36,974
Yes. Go on.
132
00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:39,707
Okay. So the egg, like, shuts
so that all the other sperm
133
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:40,275
can't get in.
134
00:07:40,277 --> 00:07:41,345
Exactly.
135
00:07:41,445 --> 00:07:43,347
- Dyke.
- Shut up, pussy face.
136
00:07:43,447 --> 00:07:44,446
Melissa!
137
00:07:44,448 --> 00:07:45,781
What about him?
138
00:07:45,783 --> 00:07:48,317
I will not have that kind
of language in my classroom.
139
00:07:48,319 --> 00:07:49,785
From a girl, you mean.
140
00:07:49,787 --> 00:07:51,188
Vice principal now?
141
00:07:52,156 --> 00:07:53,991
Not a good start, young lady.
142
00:07:54,692 --> 00:07:55,723
And it begins.
143
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,861
And do something
about that hair.
144
00:07:57,995 --> 00:07:59,863
This is not Star Wars.
145
00:08:04,168 --> 00:08:06,203
Redemption time for Mr. Parker.
146
00:08:06,303 --> 00:08:09,473
Because you're
teetering on a solid D.
147
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,321
It's Randy, right?
148
00:08:26,323 --> 00:08:27,889
Yeah. Yeah, Randy.
149
00:08:27,891 --> 00:08:30,194
Hi. um,
150
00:08:31,028 --> 00:08:32,995
uh. Melissa.
151
00:08:32,997 --> 00:08:34,263
Yeah, Melissa the dyke.
152
00:08:34,265 --> 00:08:36,865
Oh, but I'm not really a dyke.
153
00:08:36,867 --> 00:08:38,267
No. Yeah, I know.
154
00:08:38,269 --> 00:08:44,239
I, I didn't, I just I was
just making conversation.
155
00:08:44,241 --> 00:08:46,108
Ooh. Metamorphosis.
156
00:08:46,110 --> 00:08:47,411
How you liking it?
157
00:08:47,878 --> 00:08:50,045
I don't think I
quite understand it.
158
00:08:50,047 --> 00:08:51,015
Keep reading it.
159
00:08:51,081 --> 00:08:52,281
You will.
160
00:08:52,283 --> 00:08:55,384
Well, I have to have a book
report about it due next week.
161
00:08:55,386 --> 00:08:56,787
I could help.
162
00:08:57,187 --> 00:08:58,186
- Really?
- Yeah.
163
00:08:58,188 --> 00:08:59,288
Just come over to my place.
164
00:08:59,290 --> 00:09:01,290
You know where, uh, Saint
Mary's and Helen Lane cross?
165
00:09:01,292 --> 00:09:03,058
Yeah. That's literally, like,
down the street from me.
166
00:09:03,060 --> 00:09:05,296
Really? Give me your hand.
167
00:09:09,066 --> 00:09:10,801
Okay, okay. That tickles. Stop.
168
00:09:11,902 --> 00:09:14,305
Just come over any
time after four.
169
00:09:15,873 --> 00:09:16,440
Yeah. Okay.
170
00:09:18,542 --> 00:09:20,309
So here's the plan, boys.
171
00:09:20,311 --> 00:09:21,143
We're gonna throw a kegger
172
00:09:21,145 --> 00:09:24,415
party charge about
$5 each per head.
173
00:09:24,915 --> 00:09:27,316
That's enough to get us sucked
and fucked at the kitty ranch,
174
00:09:27,318 --> 00:09:28,252
don't you think?
175
00:09:28,285 --> 00:09:29,551
Yeah. Twice over.
176
00:09:29,553 --> 00:09:30,821
What do you think, Randy?
177
00:09:31,288 --> 00:09:32,589
Well, I, uh.
178
00:09:32,990 --> 00:09:35,424
Come on, dude, like, why
are you asking Randy, bro?
179
00:09:35,426 --> 00:09:37,392
He's just gonna be all
awkward at the party anyways.
180
00:09:37,394 --> 00:09:38,226
I don't know, he's.
181
00:09:38,228 --> 00:09:39,296
Fuck you, Mark.
182
00:09:39,396 --> 00:09:41,296
I'm gonna be fucking so
many more whores than you are.
183
00:09:41,298 --> 00:09:42,933
You know I love you, pal.
184
00:10:19,470 --> 00:10:22,371
Amazing. That was amazing.
185
00:10:22,373 --> 00:10:25,008
Yeah that's, that's
all I know so far.
186
00:10:25,109 --> 00:10:28,477
You know, you're a really
great cello player.
187
00:10:28,479 --> 00:10:29,980
- You know.
- Cellist.
188
00:10:30,180 --> 00:10:32,483
Right? Cellist.
189
00:10:33,016 --> 00:10:35,384
My friends and I are
throwing a party tonight.
190
00:10:35,386 --> 00:10:36,151
You should come.
191
00:10:36,153 --> 00:10:36,985
You know, we're
gonna have a keg.
192
00:10:36,987 --> 00:10:38,353
It's gonna be a kegger.
193
00:10:38,355 --> 00:10:39,556
I don't like beer.
194
00:10:39,990 --> 00:10:43,327
Well, maybe you
could come anyway.
195
00:10:45,496 --> 00:10:48,029
- Shit.
- What?
196
00:10:48,031 --> 00:10:49,164
I totally forgot.
197
00:10:49,166 --> 00:10:50,869
I have to go.
198
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:52,033
Go where?
199
00:10:52,035 --> 00:10:56,037
I have tennis practice.
200
00:10:56,039 --> 00:10:57,141
Where's your racquet?
201
00:10:58,509 --> 00:11:00,010
I have to go.
202
00:11:00,077 --> 00:11:02,012
Hey, what about
your book report?
203
00:11:31,208 --> 00:11:33,043
Fuck, yeah, that's a kegger.
204
00:11:33,444 --> 00:11:34,409
Thanks, Luke.
205
00:11:34,411 --> 00:11:35,245
I owe you.
206
00:11:35,412 --> 00:11:36,044
Don't mention it.
207
00:11:36,046 --> 00:11:37,345
What are big brothers for?
208
00:11:37,347 --> 00:11:38,949
Hey, no charge to get in.
209
00:11:39,049 --> 00:11:39,950
Be there.
210
00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:41,049
I can't make it.
211
00:11:41,051 --> 00:11:42,719
- Business.
- Boring.
212
00:11:43,420 --> 00:11:44,955
You guys want some weed?
213
00:11:45,055 --> 00:11:46,056
Molly wolly.
214
00:11:46,390 --> 00:11:47,524
How much are we talking?
215
00:11:47,558 --> 00:11:48,592
40 for a lid.
216
00:11:49,460 --> 00:11:51,462
Dude, all I got is five bucks.
217
00:11:51,930 --> 00:11:53,130
What about you, little dude?
218
00:11:54,031 --> 00:11:54,965
You want some weed?
219
00:11:55,566 --> 00:11:56,935
I, uh.
220
00:11:58,469 --> 00:11:59,403
On me.
221
00:12:00,070 --> 00:12:02,473
Uh, thank you.
222
00:12:02,739 --> 00:12:04,608
Uh, what about me?
223
00:12:05,108 --> 00:12:06,410
That's the last.
224
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:08,076
Hey, you guys share.
225
00:12:08,078 --> 00:12:10,080
Give me some money
when you got some.
226
00:12:10,113 --> 00:12:11,615
Better share, you fucker.
227
00:12:12,082 --> 00:12:13,150
Be nice.
228
00:12:13,283 --> 00:12:15,250
Alright, Please share.
229
00:12:15,252 --> 00:12:16,286
That's better.
230
00:12:17,387 --> 00:12:18,589
Catch you boys later.
231
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,458
Whatever. I don't like
weed anyway.
232
00:12:23,460 --> 00:12:26,430
Yes, that's a wise
move there, Randy.
233
00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:29,631
Man, how can anyone hate
pot, you know?
234
00:12:29,633 --> 00:12:31,268
It makes me,
235
00:12:31,769 --> 00:12:33,570
- weird.
- Weird?
236
00:12:34,071 --> 00:12:35,270
It's a little late for that.
237
00:12:36,273 --> 00:12:37,174
All right.
238
00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:41,745
Uh, $5 kegs in the back.
239
00:12:54,291 --> 00:12:55,590
My party fuckers!
240
00:12:55,592 --> 00:12:57,194
Give me the fucking beer!
241
00:13:04,635 --> 00:13:06,503
This party fucking sucks.
242
00:13:09,306 --> 00:13:10,775
Can I have a beer?
243
00:13:26,024 --> 00:13:27,224
I better go home.
244
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:28,725
It's a party.
245
00:13:30,127 --> 00:13:31,328
Gotta stay.
246
00:13:32,629 --> 00:13:34,164
Don't make me sit on you.
247
00:13:37,501 --> 00:13:38,635
You know something?
248
00:13:39,102 --> 00:13:41,305
You were my best friend.
249
00:13:42,506 --> 00:13:44,641
I'm such a fucker to
you, aren't I, Randy?
250
00:13:46,543 --> 00:13:49,212
There's no bottom
to this shit, man.
251
00:13:51,049 --> 00:13:54,184
Who the fuck am I?
252
00:13:55,419 --> 00:13:58,221
Who the fuck are you guys to me?
253
00:13:59,323 --> 00:14:01,692
Who the fuck are you
guys to you?
254
00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:04,394
Little dandy Randy.
255
00:14:05,662 --> 00:14:07,731
So I better shut up.
256
00:14:52,409 --> 00:14:53,610
I am so fucked up.
257
00:15:23,407 --> 00:15:25,910
Randy? Is that you?
258
00:15:27,678 --> 00:15:28,780
Yeah.
259
00:15:30,148 --> 00:15:31,615
How was the party?
260
00:15:33,316 --> 00:15:34,284
Okay.
261
00:15:34,952 --> 00:15:36,486
Is everything all right?
262
00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:40,624
Yeah.
263
00:15:41,258 --> 00:15:43,928
Did you tell your father
to turn down the TV?
264
00:15:44,261 --> 00:15:46,764
- Okay.
- Good night.
265
00:15:46,831 --> 00:15:48,198
Okay.
266
00:16:34,678 --> 00:16:36,814
-What?
- Good morning.
267
00:16:37,882 --> 00:16:40,216
I bet you have a
really bad hangover.
268
00:16:40,218 --> 00:16:41,150
Oh, God.
269
00:16:41,152 --> 00:16:43,518
I heard Mark had a
kegger party last night.
270
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:44,719
Yeah. So what?
271
00:16:44,721 --> 00:16:48,592
So Randy's got a hangover.
272
00:16:48,692 --> 00:16:49,357
Stop.
273
00:16:49,359 --> 00:16:51,026
Anne leave your brother alone.
274
00:16:51,028 --> 00:16:52,762
You're lucky she thinks
you're a goody goody.
275
00:16:52,764 --> 00:16:54,529
Please stop.
276
00:16:54,531 --> 00:16:57,767
So, was it like a makeout party?
277
00:16:57,769 --> 00:16:59,835
Like, did you kiss anyone?
278
00:16:59,837 --> 00:17:01,371
Why would I tell you?
279
00:17:01,873 --> 00:17:03,873
Oh, my God, you did!
280
00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:05,340
You kissed someone!
281
00:17:05,342 --> 00:17:06,274
What's her name?
282
00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:07,009
Do I know her?
283
00:17:07,011 --> 00:17:08,576
I could see if she likes you.
284
00:17:08,578 --> 00:17:09,912
Was it Donna?
285
00:17:09,914 --> 00:17:11,883
I bet it was Donna.
286
00:17:14,018 --> 00:17:15,885
I can seriously help you out.
287
00:17:15,887 --> 00:17:18,055
I'm really good at this stuff.
288
00:17:18,288 --> 00:17:19,556
Who's Donna?
289
00:17:20,892 --> 00:17:26,463
Oh, my God, you are such
a dorky, celibate priest.
290
00:17:41,745 --> 00:17:42,646
Mom.
291
00:17:50,888 --> 00:17:51,989
Can I ask you a question?
292
00:17:52,290 --> 00:17:53,488
Mhm.
293
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:59,460
So if, um, Darwin was right,
does that mean that Genesis is
294
00:17:59,462 --> 00:18:00,097
a myth?
295
00:18:00,998 --> 00:18:04,434
No. Genesis is in the Bible.
296
00:18:04,836 --> 00:18:06,603
Those are two separate things.
297
00:18:08,940 --> 00:18:10,574
Who told you it was a myth?
298
00:18:11,776 --> 00:18:12,777
No one told me that.
299
00:18:14,411 --> 00:18:15,343
I don't know. Nevermind.
300
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:16,314
I just, uh.
301
00:18:16,746 --> 00:18:17,347
Yeah.
302
00:18:20,450 --> 00:18:21,618
Excuse me.
303
00:18:24,922 --> 00:18:27,422
Frank. You're getting
grease on the broccoli.
304
00:18:27,424 --> 00:18:28,926
It'll wash off.
305
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,694
Am I right, Randy?
306
00:18:35,465 --> 00:18:36,799
I need you to help
me out in the garage.
307
00:18:36,801 --> 00:18:37,634
Okay?
308
00:18:38,135 --> 00:18:39,103
I um.
309
00:18:39,469 --> 00:18:41,136
I got a midterm, so I.
310
00:18:41,138 --> 00:18:42,637
Frank he's got homework.
311
00:18:42,639 --> 00:18:44,606
Yeah. These cars aren't
gonna fix themselves.
312
00:18:44,608 --> 00:18:46,374
I'm trying to teach
the kid something.
313
00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:47,377
Come on!
314
00:18:47,477 --> 00:18:48,946
Hup two soldier!
315
00:18:56,053 --> 00:18:56,988
Sorry.
316
00:18:58,388 --> 00:18:59,123
Fuck.
317
00:19:04,829 --> 00:19:05,863
Light.
318
00:19:06,831 --> 00:19:07,731
Sorry.
319
00:19:10,001 --> 00:19:11,869
- Dad.
- What?
320
00:19:13,670 --> 00:19:14,704
Can I, uh,
321
00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:17,507
borrow the station
wagon next weekend?
322
00:19:17,674 --> 00:19:18,475
Ah!
323
00:19:20,677 --> 00:19:21,544
Damn it!
324
00:19:31,889 --> 00:19:33,723
- What?
- Can I use the phone.
325
00:19:34,058 --> 00:19:35,692
What's in it for me?
326
00:19:36,928 --> 00:19:38,827
We're supposed to share.
327
00:19:38,829 --> 00:19:39,897
Remember?
328
00:19:46,569 --> 00:19:47,702
Ten minutes.
329
00:19:47,704 --> 00:19:49,040
Yeah, right.
330
00:19:53,044 --> 00:19:56,080
So we didn't make any money.
331
00:19:57,181 --> 00:19:58,548
Cut it out, Anne.
332
00:20:00,717 --> 00:20:04,053
Sorry. Anne's just
being a bitch.
333
00:20:04,055 --> 00:20:07,624
Man, she's looking so
fine these days.
334
00:20:08,059 --> 00:20:09,590
Oh, dude.
335
00:20:09,592 --> 00:20:10,928
Gross.
336
00:20:11,528 --> 00:20:12,964
You have no idea.
337
00:20:13,097 --> 00:20:14,932
You ask your dad about
the station wagon?
338
00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:19,703
Not yet.
339
00:20:20,570 --> 00:20:21,806
I will do it.
340
00:20:22,773 --> 00:20:24,942
Okay. It just has to
be perfect timing.
341
00:20:25,910 --> 00:20:27,744
So what's Samson's plan.
342
00:20:27,945 --> 00:20:29,244
He said he'd pay for us.
343
00:20:29,246 --> 00:20:31,481
We just got to make
all his deliveries.
344
00:20:32,116 --> 00:20:33,550
Deliveries?
345
00:20:45,763 --> 00:20:48,165
Well. Hello there.
346
00:20:48,265 --> 00:20:50,935
Hi. Uh, I'm, um.
347
00:20:51,102 --> 00:20:55,971
Randy. I'm here to complete
a delivery for Famway,
348
00:20:55,973 --> 00:20:58,173
delivery for, uh, Sampson Swift.
349
00:20:58,175 --> 00:21:00,610
Lillian, come here quick.
350
00:21:00,811 --> 00:21:03,745
It's just the cutest thing ever.
351
00:21:03,747 --> 00:21:05,481
I'm watching my show.
352
00:21:05,483 --> 00:21:09,584
There's a big load
of Famway soap here.
353
00:21:09,586 --> 00:21:11,155
Oh, is it Sampson?
354
00:21:11,255 --> 00:21:13,924
One of his minions.
355
00:21:14,025 --> 00:21:15,960
Is he pretty too?
356
00:21:15,993 --> 00:21:17,028
I don't know.
357
00:21:17,862 --> 00:21:21,265
Are you pretty?
Little kitty cat.
358
00:21:22,133 --> 00:21:24,802
Meow.
359
00:21:30,975 --> 00:21:32,143
Good work.
360
00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:38,849
Mr. Parker, your ship
is sinking.
361
00:21:43,821 --> 00:21:44,987
I heard at the.
362
00:21:44,989 --> 00:21:47,890
PTA meeting that the kids these
days are drinking beer and
363
00:21:47,892 --> 00:21:51,060
smoking pot and whatnot, and I
am not going to let that happen
364
00:21:51,062 --> 00:21:52,194
to my little teddy bear.
365
00:21:52,196 --> 00:21:53,663
So,
366
00:21:54,165 --> 00:21:56,733
some of the guys are going
backpacking next week.
367
00:21:58,169 --> 00:21:59,602
Do you think I could go?
368
00:21:59,837 --> 00:22:01,038
Yeah, I suppose.
369
00:22:01,839 --> 00:22:02,907
Just be careful.
370
00:22:05,309 --> 00:22:07,142
Think we could
take the station wagon?
371
00:22:07,144 --> 00:22:09,213
You're gonna have to ask
your father about that.
372
00:22:09,679 --> 00:22:11,880
Yeah, but don't don't
ask him tonight.
373
00:22:11,882 --> 00:22:12,680
He's working late.
374
00:22:12,682 --> 00:22:13,683
You know how.
375
00:22:14,018 --> 00:22:14,885
Yeah.
376
00:22:16,153 --> 00:22:17,021
Speak of the devil.
377
00:22:17,855 --> 00:22:18,688
Here, here.
378
00:22:29,033 --> 00:22:29,934
Yes.
379
00:22:30,101 --> 00:22:31,102
Hello, Mary.
380
00:22:31,902 --> 00:22:33,571
Oh, Bill.
381
00:22:34,138 --> 00:22:35,170
I didn't recognize you.
382
00:22:35,172 --> 00:22:36,273
The uniform.
383
00:22:36,373 --> 00:22:37,239
Oh, I know.
384
00:22:37,241 --> 00:22:38,576
It makes me look taller.
385
00:22:38,943 --> 00:22:39,541
Please come in.
386
00:22:39,543 --> 00:22:40,945
Can I get you some coffee?
387
00:22:41,178 --> 00:22:42,046
No, thanks.
388
00:22:44,014 --> 00:22:45,249
Hey, Randy.
389
00:22:46,250 --> 00:22:49,353
You remember Mr.
Barber from church?
390
00:22:49,787 --> 00:22:50,720
Hi.
391
00:22:52,722 --> 00:22:53,257
Can I speak to you?
392
00:22:54,258 --> 00:22:55,725
Randy, go to your room.
393
00:22:57,027 --> 00:22:58,060
But our show is not over yet.
394
00:22:58,062 --> 00:22:59,230
Now.
395
00:23:02,900 --> 00:23:03,432
One second.
396
00:23:03,434 --> 00:23:05,069
Thank you, thank you.
397
00:23:05,735 --> 00:23:06,736
Mhm.
398
00:23:08,272 --> 00:23:12,409
Uh, sorry to bother
you this time.
399
00:23:12,742 --> 00:23:18,413
Um, we had a run in with
Frank earlier, and he's okay.
400
00:23:18,415 --> 00:23:19,747
He just.
401
00:23:19,749 --> 00:23:22,251
He thought tonight would be
a good night to go swimming.
402
00:23:22,253 --> 00:23:27,925
And he went down at the
condominiums on fourth, and
403
00:23:28,159 --> 00:23:31,661
several condo tenants saw him
running around the pool area.
404
00:23:33,898 --> 00:23:34,932
Naked.
405
00:23:37,067 --> 00:23:38,435
He had a.
406
00:23:40,638 --> 00:23:41,906
Had an erection.
407
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,907
And there was a four year old
408
00:23:44,909 --> 00:23:47,278
girl involved who
may need counseling.
409
00:23:50,781 --> 00:23:54,149
Apparently he parked in a red
zone and taken off his clothes
410
00:23:54,151 --> 00:23:55,284
and left him in the car.
411
00:23:55,286 --> 00:24:00,157
The vehicle was towed while
he was swimming, and, uh.
412
00:24:00,357 --> 00:24:02,291
Well, we found him an hour
413
00:24:02,293 --> 00:24:06,430
later, just hiding
in a dumpster.
414
00:24:06,964 --> 00:24:08,365
Oh my God.
415
00:24:09,433 --> 00:24:14,203
No. I pulled a couple strings,
and I got him outside in the
416
00:24:14,205 --> 00:24:15,206
squad car.
417
00:24:17,141 --> 00:24:18,108
Oh.
418
00:24:19,376 --> 00:24:23,681
Do you have a robe or something?
419
00:24:24,281 --> 00:24:25,849
Uh, yeah. Of course.
420
00:24:26,951 --> 00:24:27,952
Of course.
421
00:24:36,827 --> 00:24:37,459
Will this do?
422
00:24:37,461 --> 00:24:38,728
Yes, yes.
423
00:24:39,029 --> 00:24:39,964
Thank you.
424
00:25:00,217 --> 00:25:02,720
Now we need to hold on
to your driver's license.
425
00:25:02,820 --> 00:25:04,253
And the vehicle will remain
426
00:25:04,255 --> 00:25:06,355
impounded until you
talk to a judge.
427
00:25:06,357 --> 00:25:06,857
Yeah.
428
00:25:08,392 --> 00:25:09,526
What is that smell?
429
00:25:10,094 --> 00:25:11,428
I'm taking a shower.
430
00:25:15,733 --> 00:25:16,734
Move.
431
00:25:24,742 --> 00:25:25,440
Uh.
432
00:25:25,442 --> 00:25:26,341
Thank you.
433
00:25:26,343 --> 00:25:27,211
Yeah, yeah no problem.
434
00:25:27,511 --> 00:25:28,043
Yep.
435
00:25:28,045 --> 00:25:29,011
Good night.
436
00:25:29,013 --> 00:25:29,780
Thank you.
437
00:25:35,953 --> 00:25:37,054
You know how when
438
00:25:37,121 --> 00:25:41,223
something really freaky
happens, you kind of space out
439
00:25:41,225 --> 00:25:42,958
and think about
stupid, normal stuff?
440
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,227
Like that girl with the
umbrella on the salt box.
441
00:25:45,229 --> 00:25:47,796
And on that box, there's a girl
with an umbrella holding a box
442
00:25:47,798 --> 00:25:49,900
of salt. And it just, you know,
kind of keeps going.
443
00:25:50,067 --> 00:25:52,771
Like mirrors in a barber shop.
444
00:26:01,545 --> 00:26:03,414
God damn it, Randy.
445
00:26:04,381 --> 00:26:05,414
Fucked up again, man.
446
00:26:05,416 --> 00:26:06,815
What the fuck do you mean?
447
00:26:06,817 --> 00:26:07,786
What am I supposed to do?
448
00:26:07,851 --> 00:26:11,788
My dad, he says there's
something wrong with the
449
00:26:11,790 --> 00:26:13,088
transmission or something.
450
00:26:13,090 --> 00:26:14,890
Well, how long is
that gonna take?
451
00:26:14,892 --> 00:26:16,093
You know my dad.
452
00:26:16,827 --> 00:26:18,562
Hey, look, it's Sampson.
453
00:26:19,798 --> 00:26:20,998
He'll know what to do.
454
00:26:21,098 --> 00:26:22,801
Oh praise God!
455
00:26:25,836 --> 00:26:26,935
What's going on, dudes?
456
00:26:26,937 --> 00:26:28,238
We're fucked man.
457
00:26:28,272 --> 00:26:31,442
Randy here doesn't
got the transpo.
458
00:26:31,608 --> 00:26:32,274
Oh, shit.
459
00:26:32,276 --> 00:26:33,241
It's just my dad.
460
00:26:33,243 --> 00:26:35,812
Okay. He's literally
taking the car apart.
461
00:26:35,814 --> 00:26:37,448
It's just in pieces
in the garage.
462
00:26:38,582 --> 00:26:39,314
All right, you know what?
463
00:26:39,316 --> 00:26:40,415
Say no more my boys.
464
00:26:40,417 --> 00:26:42,417
Okay. All problems
have a solution.
465
00:26:42,419 --> 00:26:43,618
Did he just call us his boys?
466
00:26:43,620 --> 00:26:45,954
So, plan B.
467
00:26:45,956 --> 00:26:49,458
Let's do some positive
visualization, okay.
468
00:26:49,460 --> 00:26:51,828
Power of positive thinking.
469
00:26:51,830 --> 00:26:52,963
Anybody ever read that?
470
00:26:53,130 --> 00:26:53,796
You should read that.
471
00:26:53,798 --> 00:26:55,299
Adam, you look kind of smart.
472
00:26:55,366 --> 00:26:56,166
Um.
473
00:26:56,433 --> 00:26:57,968
Noted, man. Yeah.
474
00:26:58,035 --> 00:27:01,203
You visualize what you
want, and God coughs it up.
475
00:27:01,205 --> 00:27:02,839
I mean, it's fucking beautiful.
476
00:27:02,841 --> 00:27:04,139
I'm down to give it a try, man.
477
00:27:04,141 --> 00:27:06,341
Like, what do we think
about a car or something?
478
00:27:06,343 --> 00:27:09,544
No, what? Pussy.
479
00:27:09,546 --> 00:27:11,213
Oh, fuck yeah.
480
00:27:11,215 --> 00:27:12,481
Dude, this is stupid. Alright.
481
00:27:12,483 --> 00:27:13,281
You got a better idea?
482
00:27:13,283 --> 00:27:15,984
No, but, look,
forget the God shit.
483
00:27:15,986 --> 00:27:16,952
How about that?
484
00:27:16,954 --> 00:27:18,120
Hey, you want to bang
pussy or not, Adam.
485
00:27:18,122 --> 00:27:19,189
Of course.
486
00:27:19,456 --> 00:27:20,524
That's what I thought.
487
00:27:20,624 --> 00:27:24,326
So when I say go, I want
everybody to think as hard as
488
00:27:24,328 --> 00:27:25,862
they can, okay?
489
00:27:25,864 --> 00:27:26,962
And no laughing.
490
00:27:26,964 --> 00:27:27,529
No talking.
491
00:27:27,531 --> 00:27:28,966
None of that bullshit.
492
00:27:29,566 --> 00:27:30,367
All right.
493
00:27:30,567 --> 00:27:31,335
All right.
494
00:27:32,369 --> 00:27:33,337
Ready?
495
00:27:34,371 --> 00:27:35,339
Go.
496
00:27:43,180 --> 00:27:43,645
Oh.
497
00:27:44,581 --> 00:27:46,148
- Dude!
- Dude!
498
00:27:46,150 --> 00:27:47,217
You fucker!
499
00:27:48,018 --> 00:27:50,519
I'm gonna fuck you a new
asshole and plug those farts.
500
00:27:50,521 --> 00:27:53,021
Are you ready to get
fucked by the Sampsonator?
501
00:27:53,023 --> 00:27:54,525
Sampson stop it bro!
502
00:27:55,926 --> 00:27:56,859
- You ready?
- No, bro.
503
00:27:56,861 --> 00:27:58,059
- You ready for it?
- Get off of me bro.
504
00:27:58,061 --> 00:27:59,561
You think of your mom
while I'm doing this.
505
00:28:00,931 --> 00:28:01,898
Oh my God, bro.
506
00:28:01,900 --> 00:28:03,033
What the fuck, bro?
507
00:28:03,167 --> 00:28:05,402
Oh, not funny bro. Not funny.
508
00:28:12,276 --> 00:28:16,547
Hey, you Trojan fans, let
me see you clap your hands.
509
00:28:24,054 --> 00:28:26,288
Hey, you Trojan fans.
510
00:28:26,290 --> 00:28:28,625
Let me see you clap your hands.
511
00:28:51,081 --> 00:28:52,249
Getting ready for your trip?
512
00:28:52,483 --> 00:28:57,588
Kinda. But we, uh,
do still need a car.
513
00:29:00,758 --> 00:29:02,426
About the other night.
514
00:29:04,061 --> 00:29:07,462
Your father's been under a lot
of stress at work, and, well,
515
00:29:07,464 --> 00:29:10,098
you know how you boys used to
go skinny dipping on those hot
516
00:29:10,100 --> 00:29:11,134
summer nights?
517
00:29:11,201 --> 00:29:14,603
Well, your father was
feeling hot and tired, and.
518
00:29:14,605 --> 00:29:16,240
He didn't think.
519
00:29:16,440 --> 00:29:19,243
And he went skinny dipping
in someone else's pool.
520
00:29:21,445 --> 00:29:24,314
And of course, the
police overreacted.
521
00:29:25,649 --> 00:29:27,684
It's a big misunderstanding.
522
00:29:32,623 --> 00:29:35,791
He's taking a few weeks off
from work, and he's agreed to
523
00:29:35,793 --> 00:29:39,296
go talk to a nice
man about things.
524
00:29:41,298 --> 00:29:42,699
You understand?
525
00:29:45,135 --> 00:29:47,369
And not that it's a big deal
and all, but don't go telling
526
00:29:47,371 --> 00:29:48,539
Adam or Mark.
527
00:29:51,308 --> 00:29:52,342
That's all.
528
00:29:57,447 --> 00:29:58,280
Hey, mom.
529
00:29:58,282 --> 00:29:59,449
Yes.
530
00:29:59,516 --> 00:30:02,684
Have you, uh, seen my
sleeping bag at all?
531
00:30:02,686 --> 00:30:04,488
It's not in your closet.
532
00:30:04,655 --> 00:30:05,556
No.
533
00:30:07,025 --> 00:30:08,525
Why don't you go
ask your father?
534
00:30:23,674 --> 00:30:24,539
I'm going to Adam's.
535
00:30:24,541 --> 00:30:25,674
Dinner's at seven.
536
00:30:25,676 --> 00:30:26,341
Okay.
537
00:30:26,343 --> 00:30:27,309
Did you find your sleeping bag?
538
00:30:27,311 --> 00:30:27,843
No.
539
00:30:27,845 --> 00:30:29,513
Did you ask your father?
540
00:30:34,751 --> 00:30:36,086
Randy.
541
00:30:45,162 --> 00:30:46,163
Yeah.
542
00:30:48,565 --> 00:30:49,733
I, uh.
543
00:30:51,168 --> 00:30:53,704
I fixed that sticky
gearshift on your bike.
544
00:30:55,706 --> 00:30:56,707
Oh.
545
00:30:58,575 --> 00:30:59,710
Okay.
546
00:31:00,510 --> 00:31:02,379
So what do you say?
547
00:31:04,281 --> 00:31:05,515
Want to check her out?
548
00:31:05,883 --> 00:31:07,751
I really gotta run.
549
00:31:07,885 --> 00:31:08,853
Yeah.
550
00:31:13,457 --> 00:31:15,425
But, uh maybe later.
551
00:31:15,525 --> 00:31:16,360
Sure.
552
00:31:25,903 --> 00:31:26,568
Hey.
553
00:31:26,570 --> 00:31:27,302
Hey. What's up?
554
00:31:27,304 --> 00:31:28,236
I don't know.
555
00:31:28,238 --> 00:31:29,270
You okay?
556
00:31:29,272 --> 00:31:31,541
Sure. Do you have a
sleeping bag I could borrow?
557
00:31:33,310 --> 00:31:34,877
It's goose down from Ray, so
558
00:31:34,879 --> 00:31:36,413
maybe, you know,
don't pee in it.
559
00:31:36,814 --> 00:31:38,313
I won't.
560
00:31:38,315 --> 00:31:40,415
- Kidding.
- Oh.
561
00:31:41,585 --> 00:31:43,718
So I hear you going to a
whorehouse with your buddies.
562
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:46,621
What? No. Who
said that?
563
00:31:46,623 --> 00:31:48,791
Uh, that friend of yours, Mark.
564
00:31:48,793 --> 00:31:50,558
He told everyone
in the cafeteria.
565
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:53,261
Okay well, first of all,
Mark is crazy. So there.
566
00:31:53,263 --> 00:31:54,164
Mhm.
567
00:31:54,231 --> 00:31:56,331
Me and Adam are just
gonna go backpacking.
568
00:31:56,333 --> 00:31:56,899
That's it.
569
00:31:56,901 --> 00:31:57,833
Really?
570
00:31:57,835 --> 00:32:00,437
- Really.
- Really?
571
00:32:00,838 --> 00:32:02,404
I'm serious.
572
00:32:02,406 --> 00:32:03,141
Okay.
573
00:32:03,273 --> 00:32:04,472
I'm not kidding.
574
00:32:04,474 --> 00:32:05,575
Okay.
575
00:32:06,144 --> 00:32:07,609
- I swear to God.
- I'm a Buddhist.
576
00:32:07,611 --> 00:32:08,780
I swear to Buddhist.
577
00:32:09,781 --> 00:32:11,181
So.
578
00:32:12,950 --> 00:32:14,451
Maybe, like.
579
00:32:15,452 --> 00:32:16,586
Don't go.
580
00:32:27,330 --> 00:32:28,298
Oh, yeah. If I.
581
00:32:29,633 --> 00:32:30,766
We should try sitting down.
582
00:32:30,768 --> 00:32:31,466
Right? Yeah.
583
00:32:31,468 --> 00:32:31,867
Oh, yeah yeah.
584
00:32:31,869 --> 00:32:32,701
Yeah yeah, yeah.
585
00:32:32,703 --> 00:32:33,637
No, sit here, sit here.
586
00:32:34,806 --> 00:32:35,706
I can just.
587
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:37,541
Come in now.
588
00:32:44,314 --> 00:32:44,880
What? What's wrong?
589
00:32:44,882 --> 00:32:46,115
What am I?
590
00:32:46,117 --> 00:32:48,316
Uh, I just remembered I have
to cook my dad dinner before he
591
00:32:48,318 --> 00:32:49,352
passes out.
592
00:32:51,388 --> 00:32:52,289
Oh, yeah.
593
00:32:53,791 --> 00:32:54,826
Yeah for sure.
594
00:32:54,859 --> 00:32:55,358
Sorry.
595
00:32:55,827 --> 00:32:57,461
No, it's, it's okay.
596
00:32:57,661 --> 00:32:59,864
Sorry, I wasn't better at it.
597
00:33:02,566 --> 00:33:03,833
- So yeah.
- I'll go, I'll go.
598
00:33:03,835 --> 00:33:05,868
Sorry. Can I keep this?
599
00:33:05,870 --> 00:33:06,634
Yeah. Of course.
600
00:33:06,636 --> 00:33:07,004
Yeah.
601
00:33:08,338 --> 00:33:09,339
Won't pee in it.
602
00:33:22,754 --> 00:33:23,720
Hey, you.
603
00:33:24,554 --> 00:33:26,354
- Hello.
- Hello?
604
00:33:26,356 --> 00:33:27,992
Gee, he's so formal.
605
00:33:31,929 --> 00:33:33,597
So, how's the book report going?
606
00:33:36,533 --> 00:33:39,703
Randy, let's just
be friends, okay?
607
00:33:39,837 --> 00:33:41,939
- Okay.
- Cool.
608
00:33:42,539 --> 00:33:44,272
Cause I know it could
be, like, weird and all.
609
00:33:44,274 --> 00:33:46,674
Kissing a black girl, and
610
00:33:46,676 --> 00:33:49,544
you're so fucking like
Richie Cunningham.
611
00:33:49,546 --> 00:33:50,445
What?
612
00:33:50,447 --> 00:33:51,847
No. I'm not.
613
00:33:51,849 --> 00:33:54,950
I mean, I'm not like prejudice.
614
00:33:54,952 --> 00:33:56,386
You know, I'm.
615
00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:58,020
I mean, I watched
The Jeffersons.
616
00:33:58,022 --> 00:33:59,891
I'm definitely not prejudice.
617
00:34:00,557 --> 00:34:02,758
Yeah, that's fucking hilarious.
618
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:03,926
- I wasn't saying.
- Hey, dude.
619
00:34:03,928 --> 00:34:05,560
Kitty ranch.
620
00:34:05,562 --> 00:34:07,295
I'm in the middle of
something right now.
621
00:34:07,297 --> 00:34:09,765
Bro Sampson's brother,
he gave us his wheels.
622
00:34:09,767 --> 00:34:11,066
It's an El Dorado.
623
00:34:11,068 --> 00:34:12,736
It's called the Black Beast.
624
00:34:13,271 --> 00:34:16,638
I have a class
that I can't skip.
625
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:17,809
Ditch it.
626
00:34:19,476 --> 00:34:20,644
Yo, Adam.
627
00:34:23,547 --> 00:34:24,614
What?
628
00:34:25,582 --> 00:34:28,418
Nothing. Have fun on your trip.
629
00:34:49,506 --> 00:34:50,507
Luke.
630
00:34:52,642 --> 00:34:53,677
I hear music.
631
00:34:54,312 --> 00:34:55,443
Just open the fucking door.
632
00:34:55,445 --> 00:34:57,012
You can't just open
the fucking door.
633
00:34:57,014 --> 00:34:57,982
He's got a gun.
634
00:35:02,419 --> 00:35:03,453
Hey.
635
00:35:03,788 --> 00:35:04,856
You okay?
636
00:35:07,325 --> 00:35:08,458
Shamzie.
637
00:35:10,761 --> 00:35:12,662
I'm flying on a spaceship.
638
00:35:12,797 --> 00:35:14,696
We're headed to Mars.
639
00:35:14,698 --> 00:35:16,834
Me and my alien bride.
640
00:35:17,467 --> 00:35:19,937
Little dude, look
at your hair, man.
641
00:35:20,370 --> 00:35:22,106
It's dancing in the wind.
642
00:35:23,607 --> 00:35:24,842
Hi hairs.
643
00:35:25,109 --> 00:35:26,842
Hey, man, we need
the black beast.
644
00:35:26,844 --> 00:35:27,879
Remember.
645
00:35:28,045 --> 00:35:29,144
Take everything.
646
00:35:29,146 --> 00:35:30,045
Have it all.
647
00:35:30,047 --> 00:35:31,816
Life is beautiful, man.
648
00:35:32,549 --> 00:35:34,884
Um. Keys.
649
00:35:34,886 --> 00:35:36,484
No. No keys.
650
00:35:36,486 --> 00:35:37,853
Keys, keys are
meaningless, man.
651
00:35:37,855 --> 00:35:39,654
Keys are a trap.
652
00:35:39,656 --> 00:35:43,625
Watergate. And the
underground tunnel in Alameda.
653
00:35:43,627 --> 00:35:45,729
Talk about Bigfoot.
654
00:35:46,463 --> 00:35:47,631
Keys.
655
00:35:48,465 --> 00:35:49,397
Hang on, guys.
656
00:35:49,399 --> 00:35:51,068
Try my jeans, man.
657
00:35:51,168 --> 00:35:52,169
Hot tub.
658
00:35:55,172 --> 00:35:57,375
Okay, little ones,
listen to this.
659
00:35:59,377 --> 00:36:00,577
Boys. Gather round.
660
00:36:01,145 --> 00:36:03,379
I've been thinking
about this all day long.
661
00:36:03,381 --> 00:36:03,981
It's just.
662
00:36:08,386 --> 00:36:12,021
I Luke, wild and freaky.
663
00:36:12,023 --> 00:36:13,521
I got you the grog.
664
00:36:13,523 --> 00:36:14,156
The keg.
665
00:36:14,158 --> 00:36:15,657
Right. But that failed you.
666
00:36:15,659 --> 00:36:17,725
Because, kids, they
suck at parties.
667
00:36:17,727 --> 00:36:19,427
It's okay. It's not your fault.
668
00:36:19,429 --> 00:36:22,530
But the soap and the
soap related products.
669
00:36:22,532 --> 00:36:23,933
Famway.
670
00:36:23,935 --> 00:36:25,733
Boom! Famway.
671
00:36:25,735 --> 00:36:28,571
Which he sold to those
little old ladies.
672
00:36:28,906 --> 00:36:30,438
It gave you the golden ticket.
673
00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:32,442
Hey, I can't find your keys.
674
00:36:35,947 --> 00:36:40,682
I now offer you my bitchin
wheels to procure your glorious
675
00:36:40,684 --> 00:36:46,889
whore pussy waiting wet for
your hard, untouched cocks.
676
00:36:46,891 --> 00:36:51,095
In this moment, I'm the most
important person in your lives.
677
00:36:51,195 --> 00:36:54,031
And you'll always remember me.
678
00:36:54,464 --> 00:36:55,967
Especially you, my pretty.
679
00:36:57,567 --> 00:37:00,903
Oh, dude, that's so foul.
680
00:37:00,905 --> 00:37:02,572
So always.
681
00:37:02,605 --> 00:37:05,573
always keep your eyes open.
682
00:37:05,575 --> 00:37:07,744
So let the rain fall down.
683
00:37:07,979 --> 00:37:10,613
And let it soak
up your sunshine.
684
00:37:11,481 --> 00:37:12,984
- Dude.
- Oh, yeah.
685
00:37:16,619 --> 00:37:17,753
Yes!
686
00:37:17,755 --> 00:37:21,892
Hey, always remember it was me
that gave you the keys.
687
00:37:24,895 --> 00:37:26,063
Whatever that means.
688
00:37:31,135 --> 00:37:32,103
Later, little dude.
689
00:38:11,809 --> 00:38:13,811
Oh, okay. Does anybody even
see anything?
690
00:38:18,182 --> 00:38:19,116
There, there.
691
00:38:25,156 --> 00:38:26,321
This is weird.
692
00:38:37,835 --> 00:38:39,569
What the fuck is this?
693
00:38:40,037 --> 00:38:41,539
It's just a,
694
00:38:42,572 --> 00:38:43,740
house.
695
00:38:44,241 --> 00:38:45,976
A weird house.
696
00:38:46,143 --> 00:38:49,577
That was at least expecting,
like a mansion or like, above a
697
00:38:49,579 --> 00:38:50,678
saloon or something.
698
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:51,849
Like in Westworld.
699
00:38:52,049 --> 00:38:53,650
- It's a good movie.
- Yeah, it is.
700
00:38:54,018 --> 00:38:56,087
I'd love to fuck a lady robot.
701
00:38:57,855 --> 00:38:59,757
It would feel so utopic.
702
00:39:00,858 --> 00:39:01,992
Guys look.
703
00:39:13,603 --> 00:39:15,873
Come on, fuckers, let's go.
704
00:39:16,373 --> 00:39:17,674
You first.
705
00:39:18,042 --> 00:39:19,110
I'll go with you.
706
00:39:19,210 --> 00:39:20,209
Okay. Me too.
707
00:39:20,211 --> 00:39:21,343
Shit! Then I'm coming.
708
00:39:21,345 --> 00:39:22,413
Guys.
709
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,382
We can't all go at
the same fucking time.
710
00:39:25,615 --> 00:39:26,716
Why not?
711
00:39:27,284 --> 00:39:28,683
It would look suspicious.
712
00:39:28,685 --> 00:39:30,888
- Yeah.
- Of what?
713
00:39:31,055 --> 00:39:32,387
Like we're fucking kids.
714
00:39:32,389 --> 00:39:33,555
Like we don't know anything.
715
00:39:33,557 --> 00:39:36,859
All right, guys, listen,
we'll tag team it, okay?
716
00:39:36,861 --> 00:39:38,026
Me and Mark will go first.
717
00:39:38,028 --> 00:39:39,627
And you and Randy
just stay here.
718
00:39:39,629 --> 00:39:41,298
You know, just in case.
719
00:39:41,866 --> 00:39:42,867
Sounds good.
720
00:39:47,371 --> 00:39:50,307
Well, let's fucking get laid.
721
00:39:54,111 --> 00:39:56,711
It looks like you boys will
be getting my sloppy seconds.
722
00:39:56,713 --> 00:39:57,314
Mark.
723
00:39:57,647 --> 00:39:58,415
What's up bro?
724
00:40:09,226 --> 00:40:10,261
That's it.
725
00:40:10,895 --> 00:40:11,929
They're inside.
726
00:40:21,805 --> 00:40:22,703
Your turn.
727
00:40:22,705 --> 00:40:23,305
So how was it?
728
00:40:23,307 --> 00:40:24,273
Oh, it was fucking great.
729
00:40:24,275 --> 00:40:26,108
- Any problems?
- No sweat.
730
00:40:26,110 --> 00:40:28,777
So you just go in there and.
731
00:40:28,779 --> 00:40:29,980
Just go inside, you'll see.
732
00:40:30,948 --> 00:40:32,281
- Shouldn't we wait for Mark.
- Just go in.
733
00:40:32,283 --> 00:40:33,448
Jesus. Come on.
734
00:40:33,450 --> 00:40:35,119
I thought we were
supposed to tag team it.
735
00:40:35,186 --> 00:40:37,321
Oh, show me some skin.
736
00:40:40,191 --> 00:40:42,426
Now get in there,
boys. Let's go.
737
00:40:44,128 --> 00:40:44,962
You got this.
738
00:40:45,095 --> 00:40:46,130
It's gonna be fun.
739
00:40:46,163 --> 00:40:47,198
It's a great time.
740
00:41:24,068 --> 00:41:25,336
I'm cool.
741
00:41:28,939 --> 00:41:30,140
Cold as ice.
742
00:41:33,711 --> 00:41:35,980
That was weird.
743
00:41:36,413 --> 00:41:37,079
What do you.
744
00:41:37,081 --> 00:41:38,849
What do you mean it was weird?
745
00:41:39,749 --> 00:41:40,851
I'll tell you later.
746
00:41:44,188 --> 00:41:45,189
You okay?
747
00:41:45,923 --> 00:41:48,023
Yeah. Never mind.
748
00:41:48,025 --> 00:41:49,226
It is what it is.
749
00:41:49,994 --> 00:41:50,894
How was yours.
750
00:41:53,530 --> 00:41:55,065
It was great.
751
00:41:55,199 --> 00:41:58,166
I mean, like, better
than your hand.
752
00:41:58,936 --> 00:42:01,503
Not your hand.
753
00:42:01,505 --> 00:42:02,371
My hand.
754
00:42:02,373 --> 00:42:03,040
I.
755
00:42:05,042 --> 00:42:06,777
Now there's an endorsement.
756
00:42:09,747 --> 00:42:10,414
For sure.
757
00:42:10,948 --> 00:42:12,080
Let's get the fuck out of here.
758
00:42:12,082 --> 00:42:12,883
Yep.
759
00:42:29,400 --> 00:42:31,199
So I picked the finest one, and
760
00:42:31,201 --> 00:42:33,237
I started smooth
talking her and shit.
761
00:42:33,871 --> 00:42:37,239
And then I get her to the room,
man, and I just start fucking
762
00:42:37,241 --> 00:42:37,906
her, man.
763
00:42:37,908 --> 00:42:39,376
Oh my God.
764
00:42:42,813 --> 00:42:43,580
Ow.
765
00:42:44,315 --> 00:42:45,249
Ow.
766
00:42:46,950 --> 00:42:48,919
- Stop!
- Oh, shit.
767
00:42:49,788 --> 00:42:50,787
I'm sorry.
768
00:42:50,789 --> 00:42:52,087
You're just too big for me.
769
00:42:52,089 --> 00:42:54,224
What the fuck?
770
00:42:54,591 --> 00:42:55,257
Stand up.
771
00:42:55,259 --> 00:42:56,258
Let me jerk you off.
772
00:42:56,260 --> 00:42:57,328
Fuck, yeah.
773
00:43:00,497 --> 00:43:02,232
Got a nice big dick.
774
00:43:02,833 --> 00:43:06,103
Oh, yeah, but you're
smoking and stroking.
775
00:43:07,338 --> 00:43:09,440
Oh, you should do porn.
776
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:11,909
- Really?
- Yeah.
777
00:43:12,276 --> 00:43:14,111
Big money's in gay porn.
778
00:43:14,311 --> 00:43:15,512
Big money.
779
00:43:16,513 --> 00:43:18,815
She must have come,
like, 3 or 4 times.
780
00:43:18,817 --> 00:43:20,084
- Damn.
- Wow.
781
00:43:20,417 --> 00:43:22,586
So, uh, Adam.
782
00:43:23,954 --> 00:43:25,022
How was it?
783
00:43:25,589 --> 00:43:26,455
Shit, man.
784
00:43:26,457 --> 00:43:28,123
I did just like Mark, right?
785
00:43:28,125 --> 00:43:29,358
I picked the finest girl.
786
00:43:29,360 --> 00:43:30,459
She was real cute.
787
00:43:30,461 --> 00:43:31,628
She was so cute.
788
00:43:31,962 --> 00:43:33,097
Like Linda Blair.
789
00:43:33,430 --> 00:43:35,032
Mother sucks cocks in hell.
790
00:43:38,001 --> 00:43:40,337
- Fuck.
- What's up honey?
791
00:43:40,437 --> 00:43:41,970
You got a problem?
792
00:43:41,972 --> 00:43:43,974
You ain't shooting
up or something.
793
00:43:44,508 --> 00:43:45,974
I'm so sorry.
794
00:43:45,976 --> 00:43:46,843
This isn't right.
795
00:43:46,845 --> 00:43:48,278
This is so fucked up.
796
00:43:48,312 --> 00:43:49,848
Are you okay?
797
00:43:50,614 --> 00:43:52,483
Do they ever let you leave?
798
00:43:53,016 --> 00:43:56,887
Oh, Lord, this is
some real bullshit.
799
00:43:57,488 --> 00:43:59,289
Do we have a problem here?
800
00:44:06,663 --> 00:44:09,231
And then I came
all over her face.
801
00:44:09,233 --> 00:44:10,132
It was great.
802
00:44:10,134 --> 00:44:12,334
You. You came on her face?
803
00:44:12,336 --> 00:44:13,034
Yeah.
804
00:44:13,036 --> 00:44:13,635
No you didn't.
805
00:44:13,637 --> 00:44:14,505
What the.
806
00:44:14,638 --> 00:44:16,206
She must have really liked me.
807
00:44:16,306 --> 00:44:16,972
Shit, man.
808
00:44:16,974 --> 00:44:18,542
They don't let anyone do that.
809
00:44:19,009 --> 00:44:19,977
At least not me.
810
00:44:20,043 --> 00:44:21,378
Hey, praise the Lord.
811
00:44:21,512 --> 00:44:24,348
Fuck, yes, praise the Lord.
812
00:44:26,183 --> 00:44:31,019
Well, uh, I hate to break it
to you guys, but I got you all
813
00:44:31,021 --> 00:44:33,490
beat because I fucked two
whores at the same time.
814
00:44:34,224 --> 00:44:35,357
All right, lift up your shirt.
815
00:44:35,359 --> 00:44:36,091
I'm gonna examine you.
816
00:44:36,093 --> 00:44:36,658
Okay?
817
00:44:36,660 --> 00:44:38,195
Yeah, I know, I know.
818
00:44:39,196 --> 00:44:41,098
Oh, you've been here before.
819
00:44:41,665 --> 00:44:43,434
Oh, yeah. I'm a pro.
820
00:44:43,534 --> 00:44:44,401
Okay.
821
00:44:46,003 --> 00:44:47,037
Did you just take a pee?
822
00:44:47,104 --> 00:44:48,038
Mhm.
823
00:44:49,173 --> 00:44:49,908
Okay.
824
00:44:55,045 --> 00:44:56,046
Oh, wait, wait.
825
00:44:56,346 --> 00:44:57,247
Let go, let go!
826
00:44:58,215 --> 00:45:00,284
Oh, fuck!
827
00:45:00,684 --> 00:45:03,454
Damn! It wasn't even hard.
828
00:45:06,056 --> 00:45:08,025
Oh, that was easy money.
829
00:45:09,626 --> 00:45:11,226
Give me five, dude.
830
00:45:11,228 --> 00:45:13,028
So righteous, Sampson.
831
00:45:13,030 --> 00:45:17,201
Okay, so, Randy, let's
hear about you, man.
832
00:45:19,236 --> 00:45:22,072
Uh, well, it was.
833
00:45:22,473 --> 00:45:24,406
I mean, it was
amazing, number one.
834
00:45:24,408 --> 00:45:28,212
Um, she was,
835
00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:31,548
really nice.
836
00:45:32,583 --> 00:45:33,750
Nice you said.
837
00:45:35,252 --> 00:45:37,654
You don't fuck nice, Randy.
838
00:45:38,088 --> 00:45:41,423
I know, I'm sorry, but I gotta
agree with Mark on this one.
839
00:45:41,425 --> 00:45:44,726
See, nice means, like, ugly as
fuck, and, well, you know, ugly
840
00:45:44,728 --> 00:45:46,628
means you gotta throw a paper
bag over her head and fuck her
841
00:45:46,630 --> 00:45:47,395
from behind.
842
00:45:47,397 --> 00:45:48,565
That's how it goes.
843
00:45:50,067 --> 00:45:51,101
Go on, Randy.
844
00:45:54,171 --> 00:45:55,272
Come on.
845
00:45:56,473 --> 00:45:58,742
Okay, so hold
this under your balls.
846
00:45:59,443 --> 00:46:00,444
Okay.
847
00:46:01,111 --> 00:46:03,080
You don't got no
diseases, do you?
848
00:46:03,514 --> 00:46:05,280
No, no, no, of course not.
849
00:46:05,282 --> 00:46:06,683
I am this.
850
00:46:07,084 --> 00:46:07,986
This is.
851
00:46:09,453 --> 00:46:10,354
Are you a virgin?
852
00:46:12,155 --> 00:46:13,123
Yeah.
853
00:46:15,092 --> 00:46:16,126
It's okay.
854
00:46:16,159 --> 00:46:16,660
Okay.
855
00:46:16,794 --> 00:46:18,195
Just nice and clean.
856
00:46:18,595 --> 00:46:19,998
Just the way I like it.
857
00:46:20,163 --> 00:46:20,664
Okay.
858
00:46:26,136 --> 00:46:26,703
Mm.
859
00:46:30,507 --> 00:46:32,142
Don't it get any bigger?
860
00:46:35,279 --> 00:46:40,018
I had beer, so I'm,
you know, just totally.
861
00:46:40,117 --> 00:46:41,383
Okay. All right.
862
00:46:41,385 --> 00:46:44,187
Um, here's what we're gonna do.
863
00:46:44,655 --> 00:46:45,455
Sit here.
864
00:46:45,489 --> 00:46:46,721
You get naked.
865
00:46:46,723 --> 00:46:48,623
Okay, I'll be right back.
866
00:46:48,625 --> 00:46:50,327
- Okay?
- Okay.
867
00:46:53,831 --> 00:46:55,299
Oh, God.
868
00:47:37,608 --> 00:47:38,175
Oh.
869
00:47:49,586 --> 00:47:51,121
Well, look at that.
870
00:47:51,555 --> 00:47:53,223
He got hard.
871
00:47:54,224 --> 00:47:58,094
Okay, so what we're gonna do,
I'm gonna lay you back over
872
00:47:58,096 --> 00:48:00,128
here, okay?
873
00:48:00,130 --> 00:48:02,530
Okay. I'm gonna give
you head and fuck you.
874
00:48:02,532 --> 00:48:03,400
Okay?
875
00:48:05,302 --> 00:48:06,603
Okay. Okay.
876
00:48:07,270 --> 00:48:08,305
It's gonna be fun.
877
00:48:18,482 --> 00:48:19,583
Oh my God.
878
00:48:24,321 --> 00:48:25,288
Oh, God.
879
00:48:26,924 --> 00:48:27,792
Okay.
880
00:48:28,592 --> 00:48:29,927
So just relax.
881
00:48:30,427 --> 00:48:31,129
Alright?
882
00:48:45,742 --> 00:48:47,145
You like that?
883
00:48:57,287 --> 00:48:57,822
God.
884
00:49:05,797 --> 00:49:06,261
I.
885
00:49:06,263 --> 00:49:08,833
I, I came, I came.
886
00:49:10,701 --> 00:49:11,601
Oh.
887
00:49:12,602 --> 00:49:13,704
Great.
888
00:49:13,838 --> 00:49:14,839
In and out.
889
00:49:15,272 --> 00:49:15,873
Okay.
890
00:49:17,441 --> 00:49:18,675
Great job. Huh?
891
00:49:20,444 --> 00:49:21,276
Really?
892
00:49:21,278 --> 00:49:23,981
Yeah. That was super good.
893
00:49:32,489 --> 00:49:33,657
I mean, you come a lot.
894
00:49:35,193 --> 00:49:36,393
Oh, is that, um.
895
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:38,328
Is is that bad?
896
00:49:38,395 --> 00:49:39,362
Did it hurt?
897
00:49:40,464 --> 00:49:43,467
No, I didn't feel a thing.
898
00:49:48,672 --> 00:49:50,005
And that was that.
899
00:49:50,007 --> 00:49:52,208
Fuckin A. Damn.
900
00:49:52,210 --> 00:49:52,875
I know.
901
00:49:52,877 --> 00:49:54,745
Oh, Randy's a horndog over here.
902
00:49:56,848 --> 00:49:57,882
Okay Randy.
903
00:49:58,315 --> 00:49:59,681
- Dude.
- Dude.
904
00:49:59,683 --> 00:50:01,851
- I mean.
- No way.
905
00:50:01,853 --> 00:50:04,354
That's dandy Randy
right there, man.
906
00:50:04,387 --> 00:50:05,689
No, it's handy Randy.
907
00:50:05,757 --> 00:50:06,723
Handy, Randy.
908
00:50:08,692 --> 00:50:09,861
Did she give you a handy?
909
00:50:11,829 --> 00:50:12,727
Did she give him a handy?
910
00:50:12,729 --> 00:50:13,695
Of course she did.
911
00:50:13,697 --> 00:50:15,665
He gives himself enough
handies every day, huh?
912
00:50:20,270 --> 00:50:20,872
There you go.
913
00:50:21,271 --> 00:50:22,240
That's my card.
914
00:50:26,911 --> 00:50:27,845
That's.
915
00:50:28,378 --> 00:50:29,513
That's funny.
916
00:50:31,249 --> 00:50:33,785
Thanks. You're a sweet kid.
917
00:50:35,752 --> 00:50:36,720
Thanks.
918
00:50:38,022 --> 00:50:38,890
Um.
919
00:50:44,628 --> 00:50:46,296
Are you sure you like girls?
920
00:50:46,630 --> 00:50:47,731
What?
921
00:50:49,566 --> 00:50:50,598
Yeah. Of course.
922
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:51,936
Why? I mean, was it not.
923
00:50:52,270 --> 00:50:53,938
Was it, was it not
good for you?
924
00:50:54,972 --> 00:50:57,741
Oh, yeah, it was.
925
00:50:58,276 --> 00:50:59,709
It was great.
926
00:51:00,912 --> 00:51:02,814
Almost as good as my girlfriend.
927
00:51:03,313 --> 00:51:04,414
Wait, what?
928
00:51:05,049 --> 00:51:05,917
Oh, never you mind.
929
00:51:06,750 --> 00:51:08,449
Anyway. Yeah, it was great, kid.
930
00:51:08,451 --> 00:51:10,420
It was awesome. Loved it.
931
00:51:16,726 --> 00:51:17,895
Thank you.
932
00:51:21,933 --> 00:51:24,969
Trixie. Is that your name?
933
00:51:27,437 --> 00:51:28,572
I guess.
934
00:52:00,470 --> 00:52:01,873
Mom, I'm home!
935
00:52:09,646 --> 00:52:11,048
Mom?
936
00:52:32,669 --> 00:52:35,703
Randy. We went to visit your
Aunt Dorothy at the hospital.
937
00:52:35,705 --> 00:52:37,674
She's not doing too well.
938
00:52:37,707 --> 00:52:39,507
There's leftovers in
the fridge.
939
00:52:39,509 --> 00:52:41,176
Make sure and do the dishes.
940
00:52:41,178 --> 00:52:43,846
You know how your father
gets if there's dirty dishes.
941
00:52:43,848 --> 00:52:45,580
We should be back by dinnertime.
942
00:52:45,582 --> 00:52:46,683
Love, mom.
943
00:53:07,038 --> 00:53:08,039
- Hey.
- Hey.
944
00:53:09,407 --> 00:53:11,541
Uh, here you go.
945
00:53:11,675 --> 00:53:14,011
Finally. Should I
have it fumigated?
946
00:53:15,212 --> 00:53:20,750
Uh, no, I, uh, I didn't go.
947
00:53:23,087 --> 00:53:26,857
Besides, I don't, uh, have
to pay for it anyway, so.
948
00:53:26,891 --> 00:53:27,925
Did your friends go?
949
00:53:29,726 --> 00:53:30,795
I don't know.
950
00:53:31,095 --> 00:53:31,963
Who cares?
951
00:53:32,629 --> 00:53:33,728
A bunch of idiots.
952
00:53:33,730 --> 00:53:34,932
They're not idiots.
953
00:53:36,434 --> 00:53:37,902
Whatever.
954
00:53:38,702 --> 00:53:42,907
So, uh, would you,
uh, would you want to,
955
00:53:44,775 --> 00:53:46,043
do you want to go out sometime?
956
00:53:46,710 --> 00:53:47,912
What do you mean, out?
957
00:53:49,080 --> 00:53:50,212
Out. Go out.
958
00:53:50,214 --> 00:53:53,048
You know, like, we could,
uh, we could get some beer.
959
00:53:53,050 --> 00:53:55,550
We could, uh, go
to Skyline Drive.
960
00:53:55,552 --> 00:53:57,888
- Randy.
- What?
961
00:53:58,155 --> 00:53:59,156
Stop.
962
00:54:06,663 --> 00:54:07,465
There you go.
963
00:54:10,968 --> 00:54:12,069
See,
964
00:54:13,170 --> 00:54:14,504
I did go.
965
00:54:18,508 --> 00:54:20,476
Uh, see you around.
966
00:54:20,478 --> 00:54:21,178
See you.
967
00:55:23,207 --> 00:55:24,842
Stupid baby face.
968
00:57:11,649 --> 00:57:12,749
Where's mom?
969
00:57:12,783 --> 00:57:13,750
Hospital
970
00:57:15,019 --> 00:57:18,122
Visiting, what's her face.
971
00:57:20,457 --> 00:57:21,458
So.
972
00:57:23,661 --> 00:57:24,694
What's all that?
973
00:57:25,930 --> 00:57:27,129
Nothing. I've got to pee.
974
00:57:27,131 --> 00:57:28,265
What? Hey!
975
00:57:30,134 --> 00:57:32,102
What is on your freaking face?
976
00:57:34,805 --> 00:57:35,339
Oh.
977
00:57:36,706 --> 00:57:37,675
No.
978
00:57:40,978 --> 00:57:42,213
This.
979
00:57:42,813 --> 00:57:45,316
This is why you hate
working on the cars with me.
980
00:57:48,953 --> 00:57:50,120
Damn you.
981
00:58:09,006 --> 00:58:10,207
Did you think you look pretty?
982
00:58:10,307 --> 00:58:11,408
Because you don't.
983
00:58:11,842 --> 00:58:12,910
You don't.
984
00:58:13,310 --> 00:58:14,710
God damn you!
985
00:58:14,712 --> 00:58:19,183
You know, you're the
last male in this family.
986
00:58:20,184 --> 00:58:21,318
You're it.
987
00:58:21,352 --> 00:58:22,918
You're the last, Parker.
988
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:25,089
And you're supposed
to give us a grandson.
989
00:58:30,194 --> 00:58:31,028
What?
990
00:58:33,163 --> 00:58:34,365
Me and Mark went,
991
00:58:35,733 --> 00:58:37,234
to a whorehouse.
992
00:58:41,438 --> 00:58:44,108
Okay. Go on.
993
00:58:46,377 --> 00:58:47,411
Her name's on the card.
994
00:58:49,446 --> 00:58:50,247
Yeah.
995
00:58:51,015 --> 00:58:51,749
Okay.
996
00:58:54,451 --> 00:58:55,386
Trixie.
997
00:58:56,920 --> 00:58:58,022
That's good.
998
00:59:06,063 --> 00:59:07,364
Open your mouth.
999
00:59:09,066 --> 00:59:10,901
I want you to prove to me.
1000
00:59:12,970 --> 00:59:14,471
That you really went.
1001
00:59:15,372 --> 00:59:16,273
Eat it.
1002
00:59:17,474 --> 00:59:18,442
Eat it.
1003
00:59:21,812 --> 00:59:23,213
It's paper.
1004
00:59:23,914 --> 00:59:26,116
Swallow the fucking paper, kid.
1005
00:59:27,117 --> 00:59:28,218
Swallow it.
1006
00:59:29,953 --> 00:59:31,422
Swallow it!
1007
00:59:35,092 --> 00:59:36,226
Fuck you!
1008
00:59:37,461 --> 00:59:38,495
Fuck you!
1009
01:00:49,166 --> 01:00:51,233
Hello? Oh, hello Randy.
1010
01:00:51,235 --> 01:00:52,501
Is Mark here?
1011
01:00:52,503 --> 01:00:55,637
No, I think they went to Adams.
1012
01:00:55,639 --> 01:00:56,507
Yeah.
1013
01:00:58,909 --> 01:01:00,477
What I meant was Sampson's.
1014
01:01:01,178 --> 01:01:03,011
- It's Sampson's brother.
- Luke's?
1015
01:01:03,013 --> 01:01:04,679
No. Yeah, sure.
1016
01:01:04,681 --> 01:01:05,983
That sounds good.
1017
01:01:06,483 --> 01:01:08,352
Do you want a cocktail?
1018
01:01:09,086 --> 01:01:10,921
Do you need a shirt?
1019
01:01:33,912 --> 01:01:36,013
Hey, it's the little dude.
1020
01:01:37,181 --> 01:01:39,550
Whoa! What happened
to your face?
1021
01:01:41,218 --> 01:01:43,118
No, no, man, I like it.
1022
01:01:43,120 --> 01:01:45,556
Looks like you ate
a wild raccoon live.
1023
01:01:47,357 --> 01:01:48,392
Are the guys here?
1024
01:01:48,459 --> 01:01:49,124
No, no.
1025
01:01:49,126 --> 01:01:49,794
No, man.
1026
01:01:50,427 --> 01:01:51,693
Man, they trashed my wheels.
1027
01:01:51,695 --> 01:01:52,729
Fuck them!
1028
01:01:53,597 --> 01:01:54,631
Wanna gonna get high?
1029
01:01:57,067 --> 01:01:57,968
Yeah.
1030
01:02:20,157 --> 01:02:21,158
Hey, man.
1031
01:02:23,962 --> 01:02:25,395
This is a safe space.
1032
01:02:26,230 --> 01:02:27,998
Leave all that bad shit outside.
1033
01:02:32,436 --> 01:02:33,735
Whatever's going on, it's just
1034
01:02:33,737 --> 01:02:36,106
the man stepping on your groove.
1035
01:02:36,173 --> 01:02:37,474
Okay?
1036
01:02:38,041 --> 01:02:40,477
All those people out there,
they're just pretending.
1037
01:02:41,678 --> 01:02:44,279
With their suits and
their briefcases.
1038
01:02:44,281 --> 01:02:45,616
They don't know shit.
1039
01:02:46,483 --> 01:02:48,583
The only person that
knows shit is Einstein.
1040
01:02:48,585 --> 01:02:50,287
But he's a hermaphrodite.
1041
01:02:51,288 --> 01:02:55,323
All these laws about whether
you're supposed to pee in the
1042
01:02:55,325 --> 01:02:57,259
wind or fart in public or not.
1043
01:02:57,261 --> 01:02:58,529
It's all made up.
1044
01:02:59,663 --> 01:03:00,631
Dig it?
1045
01:03:05,168 --> 01:03:06,136
This.
1046
01:03:07,304 --> 01:03:08,338
This is real.
1047
01:03:11,675 --> 01:03:12,777
Open your mouth.
1048
01:03:20,785 --> 01:03:22,185
Now inhale.
1049
01:03:45,442 --> 01:03:47,711
Yeah, man, this is good shit.
1050
01:03:47,812 --> 01:03:49,179
Wow that's a,
1051
01:03:49,814 --> 01:03:51,381
really strong weed.
1052
01:03:51,481 --> 01:03:52,817
It isn't weed.
1053
01:03:53,250 --> 01:03:54,251
Oh.
1054
01:03:55,352 --> 01:03:57,421
- Okay.
- One more.
1055
01:04:14,872 --> 01:04:15,706
Sit down.
1056
01:04:17,075 --> 01:04:19,107
Welcome to my magic carpet ride.
1057
01:04:19,109 --> 01:04:19,576
Mariah.
1058
01:05:21,505 --> 01:05:22,439
Hi.
1059
01:05:24,241 --> 01:05:25,342
Nice trip?
1060
01:05:28,412 --> 01:05:29,446
How long was I?
1061
01:05:29,613 --> 01:05:30,681
Don't worry about it.
1062
01:05:31,648 --> 01:05:34,317
Hey, come on, hot tub.
1063
01:05:37,155 --> 01:05:38,455
Come on, little dude.
1064
01:06:01,179 --> 01:06:01,813
Ooh.
1065
01:06:04,481 --> 01:06:05,315
So, uh.
1066
01:06:06,818 --> 01:06:08,786
What's with the
Maybelline on your face?
1067
01:06:10,822 --> 01:06:12,522
I mean, it's cool and all, but.
1068
01:06:14,658 --> 01:06:15,726
I don't know.
1069
01:06:33,410 --> 01:06:34,544
Much better.
1070
01:06:36,914 --> 01:06:38,648
You like that smoke?
1071
01:06:41,251 --> 01:06:42,352
Do you have any more?
1072
01:06:43,520 --> 01:06:44,989
No.
1073
01:06:45,655 --> 01:06:48,725
You're just gonna want more
and more, and then you're dead.
1074
01:06:49,593 --> 01:06:50,828
I'm almost there.
1075
01:06:53,831 --> 01:06:55,233
You want to see something?
1076
01:06:56,934 --> 01:06:58,535
Okay.
1077
01:06:59,904 --> 01:07:05,877
I'm gonna put myself into a
far out, meditative trance.
1078
01:07:06,844 --> 01:07:09,410
And I may say some
things, but I just.
1079
01:07:09,412 --> 01:07:10,512
I want you to play along.
1080
01:07:10,514 --> 01:07:11,249
Okay.
1081
01:07:14,351 --> 01:07:15,619
Okay, sure.
1082
01:07:16,553 --> 01:07:17,955
This is totally safe.
1083
01:07:18,256 --> 01:07:21,424
I learned this from this
really cool Moonie priest.
1084
01:07:22,526 --> 01:07:23,895
It's like an ancient thing.
1085
01:07:26,730 --> 01:07:28,532
Okay, put your finger like this.
1086
01:07:32,536 --> 01:07:33,470
Keep it up.
1087
01:07:33,537 --> 01:07:34,970
And don't put it down
till my eyes are closed.
1088
01:07:34,972 --> 01:07:35,907
Okay?
1089
01:07:37,307 --> 01:07:38,375
Oh, okay.
1090
01:07:39,476 --> 01:07:40,878
Now be very quiet.
1091
01:07:41,045 --> 01:07:42,579
This is the tricky part.
1092
01:07:57,427 --> 01:07:58,595
You got the tickets?
1093
01:08:00,730 --> 01:08:01,464
The what?
1094
01:08:01,531 --> 01:08:04,900
The tickets to the
jumbo jet, baby.
1095
01:08:04,902 --> 01:08:05,667
Yeah.
1096
01:08:05,669 --> 01:08:07,404
Honeymoon time.
1097
01:08:07,604 --> 01:08:08,603
Who's your bride?
1098
01:08:08,605 --> 01:08:10,808
You are my pretty.
1099
01:08:12,542 --> 01:08:17,447
747 I love this wide body.
1100
01:08:17,581 --> 01:08:20,082
Look, there's the
spiral staircase.
1101
01:08:20,084 --> 01:08:21,085
Come on.
1102
01:08:21,351 --> 01:08:22,417
First class.
1103
01:08:22,419 --> 01:08:23,018
Up we go.
1104
01:08:23,020 --> 01:08:24,088
You first.
1105
01:08:25,622 --> 01:08:27,357
Hold my hand. Come with me.
1106
01:08:31,028 --> 01:08:34,029
Damn! Look at the
honeymoon suite.
1107
01:08:34,031 --> 01:08:35,800
It is huge.
1108
01:08:35,967 --> 01:08:38,002
And that bed is huge.
1109
01:08:40,370 --> 01:08:41,504
Now, where are you?
1110
01:08:43,107 --> 01:08:44,474
My pretty face.
1111
01:08:49,881 --> 01:08:51,048
How about down here?
1112
01:08:53,351 --> 01:08:54,649
There it is.
1113
01:08:54,651 --> 01:08:56,988
Someone is awake.
1114
01:09:00,457 --> 01:09:01,556
I'll take these off.
1115
01:09:01,558 --> 01:09:03,794
I don't, I don't know.
1116
01:09:03,828 --> 01:09:05,029
It's okay.
1117
01:09:05,363 --> 01:09:06,496
Don't worry.
1118
01:09:08,799 --> 01:09:10,634
Just don't tell anyone.
1119
01:09:10,835 --> 01:09:11,836
Cross my heart.
1120
01:09:20,144 --> 01:09:22,013
Touch down.
1121
01:09:38,528 --> 01:09:39,429
Don't kiss.
1122
01:09:39,864 --> 01:09:40,563
Sorry,
1123
01:09:41,698 --> 01:09:42,833
I have an idea.
1124
01:10:28,079 --> 01:10:28,578
Mhm.
1125
01:10:30,480 --> 01:10:32,482
So what happened?
1126
01:10:33,616 --> 01:10:35,719
I never know what happens
when I'm in a trance.
1127
01:11:06,150 --> 01:11:07,684
What the fuck?
1128
01:11:31,942 --> 01:11:33,942
You are so busted.
1129
01:11:33,944 --> 01:11:34,877
Shut up.
1130
01:11:34,879 --> 01:11:37,046
So you went to a whorehouse?
1131
01:11:37,048 --> 01:11:38,149
Really?
1132
01:11:41,986 --> 01:11:43,952
That's awesome.
1133
01:11:43,954 --> 01:11:46,554
I thought you were,
like, dead inside.
1134
01:11:46,556 --> 01:11:47,555
Surprise.
1135
01:11:47,557 --> 01:11:49,659
So you're actually normal?
1136
01:11:50,061 --> 01:11:51,195
Are you okay?
1137
01:11:52,329 --> 01:11:53,531
What do you mean?
1138
01:11:53,696 --> 01:11:55,166
You look a little funny.
1139
01:11:55,232 --> 01:11:56,165
I do?
1140
01:11:56,167 --> 01:11:58,202
Yeah, I wish I had a mirror.
1141
01:11:58,969 --> 01:12:00,135
Also, nice t-shirt.
1142
01:12:00,137 --> 01:12:01,336
What are you, a hippie now?
1143
01:12:01,338 --> 01:12:02,206
Stop!
1144
01:12:03,040 --> 01:12:05,675
No. Well, maybe I.
1145
01:12:05,708 --> 01:12:09,644
I did smoke a joint,
but it wasn't pot.
1146
01:12:09,646 --> 01:12:11,849
I did, you see God?
1147
01:12:12,183 --> 01:12:14,715
No. Shut up.
1148
01:12:14,717 --> 01:12:15,884
There was this guy.
1149
01:12:15,886 --> 01:12:20,357
His name was Luke, and he had,
um, a joint, but it wasn't
1150
01:12:20,657 --> 01:12:21,689
really a joint.
1151
01:12:21,691 --> 01:12:24,594
And I was floating.
1152
01:12:26,663 --> 01:12:27,898
It was.
1153
01:12:30,034 --> 01:12:31,668
Like, beautiful.
1154
01:12:32,169 --> 01:12:36,338
It was like I was in a movie
for, like, a few minutes or an
1155
01:12:36,340 --> 01:12:37,039
hour or two hours.
1156
01:12:37,041 --> 01:12:38,342
I don't really know, but
1157
01:12:39,777 --> 01:12:42,677
I feel like I lost
a piece of my brain.
1158
01:12:42,679 --> 01:12:46,716
Or I'm growing a new piece
really, really, really fast.
1159
01:12:46,884 --> 01:12:47,715
It's kind of like that book I
1160
01:12:47,717 --> 01:12:51,088
was reading by, um,
what's his name?
1161
01:12:52,056 --> 01:12:53,623
Kafka. Kafka.
1162
01:12:55,226 --> 01:12:56,726
I get it now.
1163
01:13:00,730 --> 01:13:01,799
Huh?
1164
01:13:06,636 --> 01:13:07,905
Don't tell anybody.
1165
01:13:08,873 --> 01:13:10,939
Okay. Who's Luke?
1166
01:13:10,941 --> 01:13:12,943
And what about the whorehouse?
1167
01:13:13,878 --> 01:13:14,778
Wow.
1168
01:13:14,945 --> 01:13:15,911
Thank you.
1169
01:13:15,913 --> 01:13:16,912
You're a good listener.
1170
01:13:16,914 --> 01:13:18,616
Okay, I'll send you a postcard.
1171
01:13:18,715 --> 01:13:20,048
Yeah, well, you better get
going inside.
1172
01:13:20,050 --> 01:13:20,983
They're waiting for you.
1173
01:13:20,985 --> 01:13:21,919
No shit.
1174
01:13:29,726 --> 01:13:31,095
Go, go.
1175
01:13:39,837 --> 01:13:41,405
Can you explain yourself?
1176
01:13:45,276 --> 01:13:47,776
Well, I'll be in the garage.
You know what I think.
1177
01:13:47,778 --> 01:13:49,278
Frank, this is important.
1178
01:13:49,280 --> 01:13:50,447
Tell him.
1179
01:13:59,323 --> 01:14:00,690
Say it.
1180
01:14:02,760 --> 01:14:03,794
You know.
1181
01:14:07,765 --> 01:14:08,997
You know I love you, son.
1182
01:14:08,999 --> 01:14:10,301
You know that.
1183
01:14:12,203 --> 01:14:14,939
Go on, give him a hug.
1184
01:14:19,310 --> 01:14:20,477
Listen to your mother.
1185
01:14:26,850 --> 01:14:28,485
Not even a hug, huh?
1186
01:14:30,454 --> 01:14:32,022
You can't say he didn't try.
1187
01:14:41,999 --> 01:14:44,132
We just want you to
know that those women.
1188
01:14:44,134 --> 01:14:47,002
They're not real, and
they won't make you happy.
1189
01:14:47,004 --> 01:14:48,038
Understand?
1190
01:14:49,840 --> 01:14:51,175
You hear me?
1191
01:14:51,842 --> 01:14:54,478
And whatever happened
between you and your father.
1192
01:14:55,346 --> 01:14:59,014
All I know is that when I came
home, he was yelling about
1193
01:14:59,016 --> 01:15:00,315
dishes in the sink.
1194
01:15:00,317 --> 01:15:03,988
And you going to
that deplorable.
1195
01:15:04,521 --> 01:15:05,856
I don't get it.
1196
01:15:06,190 --> 01:15:07,723
Why on earth did you go there?
1197
01:15:07,725 --> 01:15:09,326
I mean, what the
hell is going on?
1198
01:15:11,862 --> 01:15:13,264
Me little baby?
1199
01:15:16,867 --> 01:15:20,035
Well, we have decided that
we're not going to punish you
1200
01:15:20,037 --> 01:15:23,874
for going to that
deplorable place.
1201
01:15:25,075 --> 01:15:27,378
I think you've learned
a lesson there, huh?
1202
01:15:27,544 --> 01:15:28,779
You want to get high.
1203
01:15:29,046 --> 01:15:31,213
Or for disappearing last night?
1204
01:15:31,215 --> 01:15:36,053
Because I know that you're
a father can get angry.
1205
01:15:37,454 --> 01:15:39,087
I mean, sometimes even
I want to run away.
1206
01:15:39,089 --> 01:15:41,225
So, but I don't.
1207
01:15:42,559 --> 01:15:47,229
So we have decided that you are
going to be grounded for one
1208
01:15:47,231 --> 01:15:49,266
week for not doing the dishes.
1209
01:15:53,871 --> 01:15:57,374
For not doing the dishes?
1210
01:15:57,408 --> 01:15:58,409
Yes.
1211
01:15:59,410 --> 01:16:02,144
That's crazy.
1212
01:16:02,146 --> 01:16:03,981
Well that's life.
1213
01:16:05,049 --> 01:16:06,116
I am,
1214
01:16:07,484 --> 01:16:10,789
seriously confused right now.
1215
01:16:12,323 --> 01:16:15,959
And luckily, you'll have lots
of time to get unconfused.
1216
01:16:21,065 --> 01:16:22,333
Sorry.
1217
01:16:30,441 --> 01:16:31,575
Grounded.
1218
01:16:31,975 --> 01:16:35,979
Grounded. Grounded sucks.
1219
01:16:36,180 --> 01:16:38,480
I mean, straight
home from school.
1220
01:16:38,482 --> 01:16:39,614
And the worst.
1221
01:16:39,616 --> 01:16:42,517
No TV, but there is my stereo.
1222
01:16:42,519 --> 01:16:43,285
That's mine.
1223
01:16:43,287 --> 01:16:44,421
And mine is mine.
1224
01:16:45,289 --> 01:16:46,621
Especially when no
one else can hear.
1225
01:16:46,623 --> 01:16:48,357
Because headphones.
1226
01:16:48,359 --> 01:16:50,092
Then no one knows what
you're listening to.
1227
01:16:50,094 --> 01:16:54,298
But when I move out
and God, I can't wait.
1228
01:16:54,631 --> 01:17:00,435
No headphones and I will
seriously play it full blast.
1229
01:17:00,437 --> 01:17:02,841
Fuck everyone.
1230
01:17:03,474 --> 01:17:04,641
Well, not everyone.
77830
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