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1
00:00:01,857 --> 00:00:03,567
So, how did this happen?
2
00:00:04,901 --> 00:00:07,403
Your Honor, what began
as a verbal dispute
3
00:00:07,404 --> 00:00:10,197
escalated into
a full-on trash fight
4
00:00:10,198 --> 00:00:12,783
in the middle of Second Avenue.
5
00:00:12,784 --> 00:00:15,161
Your Honor, we are asking
the court for leniency,
6
00:00:15,162 --> 00:00:18,414
as we are in the third week
of a citywide garbage strike,
7
00:00:18,415 --> 00:00:21,792
and everyone is on edge.
8
00:00:21,793 --> 00:00:23,211
You don't believe me?
9
00:00:26,006 --> 00:00:28,007
Alright, case dismissed.
10
00:00:28,008 --> 00:00:30,426
Please remember,
even in our darkest moments--
11
00:00:30,427 --> 00:00:32,179
And there's a bug on your face.
12
00:00:35,098 --> 00:00:36,724
Five-minute recess.
13
00:00:36,725 --> 00:00:38,768
Wow,
with all the trash piling up,
14
00:00:38,769 --> 00:00:41,563
people are really starting
to lose their minds.
15
00:00:45,734 --> 00:00:47,818
Yeah, people.
16
00:00:47,819 --> 00:00:49,570
If you ask me,
I think everyone's
17
00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:51,405
overreacting to this strike.
18
00:00:51,406 --> 00:00:52,823
I mean,
garbage is a part of life.
19
00:00:52,824 --> 00:00:54,200
We come into this world
as trash.
20
00:00:54,201 --> 00:00:56,660
We leave it as trash.
21
00:00:56,661 --> 00:00:58,829
Well, garbage strikes
are the one citywide crisis
22
00:00:58,830 --> 00:01:00,331
that I cannot abide.
23
00:01:00,332 --> 00:01:02,208
I'll take a blackout
over this any day.
24
00:01:02,209 --> 00:01:05,252
Oh, I love a good blackout.
25
00:01:05,253 --> 00:01:07,755
Ah, the restaurants and bars
26
00:01:07,756 --> 00:01:11,175
give you food and drinks
for free.
27
00:01:11,176 --> 00:01:14,929
And when a stranger grabs
your ass in total darkness,
28
00:01:14,930 --> 00:01:17,599
you can imagine it's anyone.
29
00:01:19,476 --> 00:01:21,268
Even Sting.
30
00:01:21,269 --> 00:01:23,187
MTA strikes aren't bad, either.
31
00:01:23,188 --> 00:01:26,148
Get your walking in and don't
have to sit in a metal tube
32
00:01:26,149 --> 00:01:28,692
watching people pretend to read.
33
00:01:28,693 --> 00:01:30,444
You want to get some coffee?
- Oh, yeah.
34
00:01:30,445 --> 00:01:32,488
Oh, and-- and how great
are blizzards?
35
00:01:32,489 --> 00:01:34,615
God, you can spend the day
staring out the window
36
00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:36,659
watching idiots fall down.
- Yeah, you ever see a guy
37
00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:38,619
fall into his own baby carriage?
38
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:42,164
Neither one of them
knows what to do.
39
00:01:42,165 --> 00:01:45,292
Is anyone else nervous
there's two of them now?
40
00:01:45,293 --> 00:01:47,920
Still not clean.
41
00:01:47,921 --> 00:01:50,464
Wyatt, I had no idea
you were such a neat freak.
42
00:01:50,465 --> 00:01:54,426
I'd call you Mr. Clean, but
you can't pull off an earring.
43
00:01:54,427 --> 00:01:55,678
First of all,
it was the weekend,
44
00:01:55,679 --> 00:01:58,222
and I was trying something.
45
00:01:58,223 --> 00:02:00,182
Second, I'm not a neat freak.
46
00:02:00,183 --> 00:02:03,894
I'm a neat... ally.
47
00:02:03,895 --> 00:02:05,396
Dirt is like vampires.
48
00:02:05,397 --> 00:02:08,148
If you invite it in,
it'll never leave.
49
00:02:08,149 --> 00:02:10,109
Vampires famously leave.
50
00:02:10,110 --> 00:02:12,611
They turn into bats
and get the hell out.
51
00:02:12,612 --> 00:02:14,196
All I'm saying is,
it'd be nice
52
00:02:14,197 --> 00:02:15,823
if the courthouse stayed clean,
53
00:02:15,824 --> 00:02:17,449
since it's somehow
the one place in the city
54
00:02:17,450 --> 00:02:19,785
that's not covered in garbage.
- You're right.
55
00:02:19,786 --> 00:02:21,745
What do you think they're
doing with all that trash?
56
00:02:21,746 --> 00:02:24,665
I don't care
what they're doing with it.
57
00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:27,334
All I know is this is an oasis
compared to the nightmare
58
00:02:27,335 --> 00:02:30,337
that waits beyond those doors.
59
00:02:30,338 --> 00:02:33,465
Whew!
60
00:02:33,466 --> 00:02:37,553
Let me tell you,
I have had a day.
61
00:02:37,554 --> 00:02:40,264
Man, trash strike got you, too?
62
00:02:40,265 --> 00:02:42,057
What trash strike?
63
00:02:48,815 --> 00:02:52,818
{\an8}Mr. Crainey was charged with
multiple counts of trespassing.
64
00:02:52,819 --> 00:02:54,778
{\an8}He was caught digging
through the trash
65
00:02:54,779 --> 00:02:56,822
{\an8}of several celebrities.
66
00:02:56,823 --> 00:02:58,867
{\an8}And Kathy Griffin.
67
00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:01,785
{\an8}Seems like a random burn.
68
00:03:01,786 --> 00:03:05,205
{\an8}Oh, she knows what she did.
69
00:03:05,206 --> 00:03:07,166
{\an8}My client
wasn't hurting anyone.
70
00:03:07,167 --> 00:03:08,626
{\an8}I mean, half the free stuff
celebrities get
71
00:03:08,627 --> 00:03:10,294
{\an8}goes right in the trash.
72
00:03:10,295 --> 00:03:12,296
{\an8}Believe me, if Liam Neeson
wants his Theragun back,
73
00:03:12,297 --> 00:03:15,132
{\an8}he'll come and get it.
74
00:03:15,133 --> 00:03:16,842
{\an8}$100 fine.
75
00:03:16,843 --> 00:03:19,637
{\an8}And instead of mooching
off other people's success,
76
00:03:19,638 --> 00:03:23,098
{\an8}maybe work hard and earn
your own invitation to, um,
77
00:03:23,099 --> 00:03:27,436
{\an8}Paris Hilton's dog's
quinceañera.
78
00:03:27,437 --> 00:03:29,521
{\an8}You know, Dan,
I've been thinking.
79
00:03:29,522 --> 00:03:31,523
{\an8}Garbage strikes aren't all bad.
80
00:03:31,524 --> 00:03:33,108
{\an8}You know,
it keeps the tourists away,
81
00:03:33,109 --> 00:03:36,070
{\an8}so you get to have the city
all to yourself.
82
00:03:36,071 --> 00:03:38,530
{\an8}And even the rats
are so fat and horny
83
00:03:38,531 --> 00:03:41,200
{\an8}that they don't bother you.
84
00:03:41,201 --> 00:03:42,785
{\an8}Yeah, in theory, that's great.
85
00:03:42,786 --> 00:03:45,746
{\an8}You're forgetting one thing--
the stench.
86
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:49,124
{\an8}What if I told you
there was a way around that?
87
00:03:49,125 --> 00:03:51,377
{\an8}They found this
on the dumpster diver.
88
00:03:51,378 --> 00:03:54,046
{\an8}Expired ear drops.
89
00:03:54,047 --> 00:03:58,467
{\an8}The main side effect is
you lose your sense of smell.
90
00:03:58,468 --> 00:04:02,471
{\an8}Another side effect
is day terrors.
91
00:04:02,472 --> 00:04:04,306
{\an8}- Have you tried them yet?
- Not yet.
92
00:04:04,307 --> 00:04:06,768
{\an8}Get thee back to hell, succubus!
93
00:04:11,022 --> 00:04:13,065
{\an8}I'm messing with you.
94
00:04:13,066 --> 00:04:14,608
{\an8}No, I thought we could share it
95
00:04:14,609 --> 00:04:16,986
{\an8}and, you know,
maybe go explore together.
96
00:04:16,987 --> 00:04:19,613
{\an8}Why are you being nice?
97
00:04:19,614 --> 00:04:21,407
{\an8}You should know, the doctors
have declared my organs
98
00:04:21,408 --> 00:04:24,159
{\an8}adequate at best.
99
00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,286
{\an8}Maybe I just want someone
to be there to help
100
00:04:26,287 --> 00:04:28,497
{\an8}if I see a demon.
101
00:04:28,498 --> 00:04:30,082
{\an8}Or maybe...
102
00:04:30,083 --> 00:04:31,792
{\an8}I'm falling in love with--
103
00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:40,092
{\an8}I can't even say that
with a straight face.
104
00:04:40,093 --> 00:04:42,678
{\an8}No, no, it's the demon thing.
105
00:04:42,679 --> 00:04:44,346
Alright, tell you what,
I'm gonna go against
106
00:04:44,347 --> 00:04:47,683
every instinct I have
and say, eh, sure.
107
00:04:47,684 --> 00:04:49,518
But listen,
if you're trying to trick me,
108
00:04:49,519 --> 00:04:51,478
I want it on record
that I never trusted you,
109
00:04:51,479 --> 00:04:53,231
so it doesn't count.
110
00:04:55,150 --> 00:04:57,735
Ooh, there's Bert.
She's the head custodian.
111
00:04:57,736 --> 00:05:00,696
We should ask how they're
keeping this place so clean.
112
00:05:00,697 --> 00:05:02,072
You're really not curious?
113
00:05:02,073 --> 00:05:03,615
No, because I already know.
114
00:05:03,616 --> 00:05:05,743
She's using
a trash-eating enzyme,
115
00:05:05,744 --> 00:05:07,661
possibly cytochrome c oxidase.
116
00:05:07,662 --> 00:05:09,204
The real question's,
how'd she get access
117
00:05:09,205 --> 00:05:12,624
to a military lab in Serbia?
118
00:05:12,625 --> 00:05:15,210
That's ridiculous.
You want to know my theory?
119
00:05:15,211 --> 00:05:17,713
Somebody's eating it.
120
00:05:17,714 --> 00:05:19,424
But who?
121
00:05:21,051 --> 00:05:24,678
So, you want to know
what we're doing with the trash?
122
00:05:24,679 --> 00:05:27,056
- How did you know?
- Well, you're a Sagittarius,
123
00:05:27,057 --> 00:05:28,932
so you have an inquisitive mind.
124
00:05:28,933 --> 00:05:31,393
Also, sometimes people
throw out working hearing aids,
125
00:05:31,394 --> 00:05:34,104
and I use them to eavesdrop.
126
00:05:34,105 --> 00:05:37,483
But you wash them off first, right?
127
00:05:37,484 --> 00:05:39,944
That's how you get
ear-patitis C!
128
00:05:41,362 --> 00:05:44,073
So, Bert, how about sharing
your cleaning secret with us?
129
00:05:44,074 --> 00:05:45,866
Sorry, I can't tell you.
130
00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,910
That's fine.
We don't want to bother you.
131
00:05:47,911 --> 00:05:50,370
But I can show you.
132
00:05:50,371 --> 00:05:51,998
Ta-da!
133
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:57,586
You throw the trash
in a big hole?
134
00:05:57,587 --> 00:06:00,214
Technically, a hole
you can see the bottom of.
135
00:06:00,215 --> 00:06:03,300
This is an abyss.
136
00:06:03,301 --> 00:06:05,344
- I have a lot of questions.
- Really?
137
00:06:05,345 --> 00:06:08,348
I thought the big hole would
have answered most of them.
138
00:06:12,268 --> 00:06:14,228
I was expecting
more "holy crap!"
139
00:06:14,229 --> 00:06:17,731
and less hole of crap.
140
00:06:17,732 --> 00:06:20,859
You don't, uh--
You don't like the hole?
141
00:06:20,860 --> 00:06:22,945
It's not that
I don't like the hole.
142
00:06:22,946 --> 00:06:26,406
I just prefer things
to have a bottom.
143
00:06:26,407 --> 00:06:28,617
You've got some nerve.
144
00:06:28,618 --> 00:06:30,702
Do you want your courtroom clean
or not?
145
00:06:30,703 --> 00:06:33,997
Clean! Definitely.
She didn't mean anything by it.
146
00:06:33,998 --> 00:06:35,374
She loves the hole.
147
00:06:35,375 --> 00:06:37,126
Abby, tell her
you love the hole.
148
00:06:37,127 --> 00:06:39,878
It's just a bit of a letdown.
149
00:06:39,879 --> 00:06:41,547
I guess I was expecting more
from you.
150
00:06:41,548 --> 00:06:43,924
You were expecting more
from me?
151
00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:47,719
This is the second conversation
we've ever had.
152
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:51,098
Ohh, you trash-makers
are all the same.
153
00:06:51,099 --> 00:06:53,725
Nothing but complaints
with no appreciation.
154
00:06:53,726 --> 00:06:56,019
Well, you know what?
We're not taking it anymore.
155
00:06:56,020 --> 00:06:58,605
Giuseppe, stand down!
156
00:06:58,606 --> 00:07:00,859
We're on strike.
157
00:07:03,653 --> 00:07:05,737
I know there are
bigger issues right now,
158
00:07:05,738 --> 00:07:07,156
but are we just going to ignore
159
00:07:07,157 --> 00:07:09,450
that that guy's name
is Giuseppe?
160
00:07:16,124 --> 00:07:19,251
Okay, the custodians
joined the garbage strike
161
00:07:19,252 --> 00:07:21,378
after I ever so slightly
162
00:07:21,379 --> 00:07:24,256
questioned their
waste-disposal methods.
163
00:07:24,257 --> 00:07:28,635
Abby, don't tell me
you spoke ill of the hole.
164
00:07:28,636 --> 00:07:30,012
You knew about the hole?
165
00:07:30,013 --> 00:07:32,264
Everybody knows about the hole.
166
00:07:32,265 --> 00:07:33,849
This is just like
when no one explained
167
00:07:33,850 --> 00:07:35,642
what brat summer was.
168
00:07:35,643 --> 00:07:37,352
I went around asking,
"Is this brat? Is this brat?"
169
00:07:37,353 --> 00:07:40,606
It never was.
170
00:07:40,607 --> 00:07:43,233
But it's okay,
because I designed a system
171
00:07:43,234 --> 00:07:46,486
to keep this place clean
that is both fair and fun.
172
00:07:46,487 --> 00:07:47,738
Let me guess.
You made a wheel.
173
00:07:47,739 --> 00:07:51,033
I made a wheel!
174
00:07:51,034 --> 00:07:53,076
Wyatt, would you like
to spin first?
175
00:07:53,077 --> 00:07:56,163
Come on,
"de-louse the gallery."
176
00:07:56,164 --> 00:07:58,040
And what do we do
with the garbage we collect?
177
00:07:58,041 --> 00:08:00,834
- Flobert's got that covered.
- I have a guy.
178
00:08:00,835 --> 00:08:04,296
Really? We're all fine
with that explanation?
179
00:08:04,297 --> 00:08:05,839
Flobert does have
a lot of guys.
180
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:07,424
One of them shortens my robes
181
00:08:07,425 --> 00:08:09,344
and uses the extra
for headbands.
182
00:08:12,972 --> 00:08:14,723
"Dance it out."
Well, what's that?
183
00:08:14,724 --> 00:08:16,516
It's when you dance it out
for 30 seconds.
184
00:08:16,517 --> 00:08:18,393
It's a fun one.
185
00:08:18,394 --> 00:08:20,312
I don't want a fun one.
186
00:08:20,313 --> 00:08:24,775
I want to hear the bacteria
scream as I send them to hell!
187
00:08:24,776 --> 00:08:26,694
But first, dancing.
188
00:08:33,201 --> 00:08:35,494
I'm amazed how effective
those ear drops are.
189
00:08:35,495 --> 00:08:37,746
I mean, I have
not smelled a thing all day,
190
00:08:37,747 --> 00:08:40,874
and I'm starting to get
a handle on those side effects.
191
00:08:40,875 --> 00:08:43,336
Out, beast!
192
00:08:47,423 --> 00:08:50,008
You all missed
a hell of a good time.
193
00:08:50,009 --> 00:08:52,511
We went to a crowd-free
Statue of Liberty
194
00:08:52,512 --> 00:08:54,930
and dined alone at Le Bernardin.
195
00:08:54,931 --> 00:08:58,225
And without tourists,
Times Square is healing itself
196
00:08:58,226 --> 00:09:00,978
and returning
to its natural state.
197
00:09:00,979 --> 00:09:04,022
Porno theaters are back.
198
00:09:04,023 --> 00:09:06,149
- What's going on here?
- You know what?
199
00:09:06,150 --> 00:09:07,567
I'm going to assume that Abby
200
00:09:07,568 --> 00:09:09,111
somehow pissed off
the hole lady
201
00:09:09,112 --> 00:09:12,072
and now she refuses to clean.
202
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:14,741
But she's come up with
a fun solution
203
00:09:14,742 --> 00:09:17,619
that Wyatt is now trapped in.
204
00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:19,538
30 seconds must be up by now.
205
00:09:19,539 --> 00:09:21,623
You better not be counting
in Mississippis.
206
00:09:21,624 --> 00:09:23,376
There's no other way to count.
207
00:09:25,169 --> 00:09:27,337
Strike! Strike!
Strike!
208
00:09:27,338 --> 00:09:31,133
Excuse me.
Gurgs, Gurgs, we need to talk.
209
00:09:31,134 --> 00:09:33,510
My garbage guy fell through.
210
00:09:33,511 --> 00:09:36,013
I don't understand.
He's usually so reliable.
211
00:09:36,014 --> 00:09:38,473
Every Tuesday, 8:00 a.m.,
he comes by
212
00:09:38,474 --> 00:09:43,270
in his big green truck that
says "Sanitation" on the side.
213
00:09:43,271 --> 00:09:46,648
So your garbage guy
was just a garbageman?
214
00:09:46,649 --> 00:09:49,234
You gotta help me figure out
what to do with all the trash.
215
00:09:49,235 --> 00:09:51,653
I can't keep driving it out
to the middle of the East River
216
00:09:51,654 --> 00:09:53,447
on my Sea-Doo.
217
00:09:53,448 --> 00:09:54,990
This one's ready for you,
Flobert.
218
00:09:54,991 --> 00:09:57,034
And I am ready for it.
219
00:09:58,995 --> 00:10:01,163
I ain't ready for it.
220
00:10:01,164 --> 00:10:03,915
Alright, I'll help,
but I'm not doing it for you.
221
00:10:03,916 --> 00:10:05,877
I'm doing it for the Sea-Doo.
222
00:10:08,463 --> 00:10:11,048
Wow, this place looks great.
223
00:10:11,049 --> 00:10:14,051
The floor doesn't look
like it chain smokes.
224
00:10:14,052 --> 00:10:16,887
Way to go, mop star.
- I didn't mop anything.
225
00:10:16,888 --> 00:10:18,638
I'm actually trying to figure
out what I'm gonna do tomorrow.
226
00:10:18,639 --> 00:10:19,890
I can finally walk
along the Hudson
227
00:10:19,891 --> 00:10:22,517
without smelling New Jersey.
228
00:10:22,518 --> 00:10:24,061
Still have to see it, though.
229
00:10:24,062 --> 00:10:26,271
I'll just take my glasses off.
230
00:10:26,272 --> 00:10:28,523
Wait. When you spun the wheel,
you got "mop the floors."
231
00:10:28,524 --> 00:10:30,567
So if you didn't do it,
then who--
232
00:10:30,568 --> 00:10:33,196
Wyatt.
- I knew he'd do it wrong!
233
00:10:34,947 --> 00:10:37,115
Abby, look, I consider
myself a reasonable man.
234
00:10:37,116 --> 00:10:39,034
Someone walk in behind me,
I'll hold the door.
235
00:10:39,035 --> 00:10:40,869
I see someone walk into a door,
236
00:10:40,870 --> 00:10:43,497
I'll wait to laugh
until they're gone.
237
00:10:43,498 --> 00:10:46,416
But cleaning the courthouse
when it's not part of my job
238
00:10:46,417 --> 00:10:48,668
is a line I will not cross.
239
00:10:48,669 --> 00:10:50,670
Oh, you hear that?
240
00:10:50,671 --> 00:10:53,465
The fancy one won't cross
the picket line.
241
00:10:53,466 --> 00:10:55,759
He's on our side!
242
00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,552
Uh, yeah, that's right.
243
00:10:57,553 --> 00:11:02,057
I'm not cleaning
for noble reasons.
244
00:11:02,058 --> 00:11:03,517
You are so full of it.
245
00:11:03,518 --> 00:11:05,227
And you laughed immediately
246
00:11:05,228 --> 00:11:07,647
when I walked into that door
you didn't hold for me.
247
00:11:09,190 --> 00:11:11,566
Bert, what can I do to fix this?
- Oh, typical.
248
00:11:11,567 --> 00:11:14,486
You only care about us
when the garbage hits the fan.
249
00:11:14,487 --> 00:11:16,738
You never ask us
about our hopes, our dreams,
250
00:11:16,739 --> 00:11:18,990
our pet alligators.
251
00:11:18,991 --> 00:11:22,244
Oh, right. Yeah.
How is the little green fella?
252
00:11:22,245 --> 00:11:26,915
She has a name, and it's Todd.
253
00:11:26,916 --> 00:11:29,501
Guess this guy is the only one
who cares.
254
00:11:29,502 --> 00:11:31,503
He doesn't care.
He's just lazy.
255
00:11:31,504 --> 00:11:32,796
I'll prove it.
256
00:11:32,797 --> 00:11:35,507
What's her name?
257
00:11:35,508 --> 00:11:37,134
Comrade.
258
00:11:37,135 --> 00:11:38,885
Fancy man!
259
00:11:38,886 --> 00:11:42,431
Fancy man!
Fancy man!
260
00:11:42,432 --> 00:11:48,145
My first edict as king
will be to banish the wheel.
261
00:11:48,146 --> 00:11:50,523
I hope you fall in the hole.
262
00:11:55,153 --> 00:11:57,529
Okay, okay, so Dan is
the face of a revolution,
263
00:11:57,530 --> 00:11:59,489
and we're low
on cleaning supplies.
264
00:11:59,490 --> 00:12:01,366
Though I did read
that human urine
265
00:12:01,367 --> 00:12:05,662
is a powerful cleansing agent,
so keep hydrating.
266
00:12:05,663 --> 00:12:07,914
And I'm testing the limits
of how much a human hand
267
00:12:07,915 --> 00:12:09,624
can be exposed to lye.
268
00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:11,461
It's minimal to none.
269
00:12:17,216 --> 00:12:18,717
Tell me that's normal.
270
00:12:18,718 --> 00:12:21,137
Tell me that's how Postmates
delivers now.
271
00:12:23,514 --> 00:12:24,890
What is going on here?
272
00:12:24,891 --> 00:12:26,600
Murray's garbage guy
fell through.
273
00:12:26,601 --> 00:12:27,934
So to get rid of the garbage,
274
00:12:27,935 --> 00:12:30,604
we're floating it
out the window.
275
00:12:30,605 --> 00:12:35,442
If my calculations are correct,
and I know they are,
276
00:12:35,443 --> 00:12:37,277
this should be landing gently
277
00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:39,196
in the Passaic County
Transfer Station
278
00:12:39,197 --> 00:12:42,157
in T-minus four hours.
279
00:12:42,158 --> 00:12:44,785
Fly true, bag of turkey bones.
280
00:12:47,121 --> 00:12:49,331
This is how you're
getting rid of our garbage?
281
00:12:49,332 --> 00:12:51,666
The plot of "Up"?
282
00:12:51,667 --> 00:12:54,002
We are so screwed.
283
00:12:54,003 --> 00:12:55,921
You have to make things right
with Bert.
284
00:12:55,922 --> 00:12:57,464
What do you want me to do?
285
00:12:57,465 --> 00:12:59,132
You saw the way
she snapped at me.
286
00:12:59,133 --> 00:13:00,967
That was worse than the time
I asked Dan
287
00:13:00,968 --> 00:13:04,137
if he had Olympic fever.
288
00:13:04,138 --> 00:13:05,680
I think there's something else
going on with her.
289
00:13:05,681 --> 00:13:07,557
What are you saying?
290
00:13:07,558 --> 00:13:09,309
The strange lady who throws
all the trash in a mystery hole
291
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:12,687
might have a complicated
personal life?
292
00:13:12,688 --> 00:13:15,065
I guess I really don't know
anything about Bert.
293
00:13:15,066 --> 00:13:18,152
In my phone, she's just
"in case you spill again."
294
00:13:19,987 --> 00:13:22,280
Maybe I am a jerk.
I mean, she knows about us.
295
00:13:22,281 --> 00:13:24,032
She even knew
I was a Sagittarius.
296
00:13:24,033 --> 00:13:25,659
Which is crazy,
because I work so hard
297
00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:29,079
to lead with my Libra moon
and Virgo rising.
298
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:30,997
Well, she handles our garbage.
299
00:13:30,998 --> 00:13:33,583
You could probably learn a lot
about someone from their trash.
300
00:13:33,584 --> 00:13:35,293
Wyatt, you're a genius.
301
00:13:35,294 --> 00:13:36,670
We have to go through
her garbage.
302
00:13:36,671 --> 00:13:38,672
No, that's not on the wheel.
303
00:13:38,673 --> 00:13:41,299
And I only answer
to the wheel now.
304
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:43,051
Don't you see?
305
00:13:43,052 --> 00:13:44,844
This is how we're gonna
find out what's bothering her
306
00:13:44,845 --> 00:13:46,721
and why she's being so brat.
307
00:13:46,722 --> 00:13:48,848
Still not right.
308
00:13:48,849 --> 00:13:52,185
Wow, you can learn a lot
about someone from their trash.
309
00:13:52,186 --> 00:13:54,437
Like this guy's wife
is definitely cheating on him.
310
00:13:54,438 --> 00:13:57,190
Oh, man, what a loser.
311
00:13:57,191 --> 00:14:00,444
Oh, wait.
That's-- That's my trash.
312
00:14:02,738 --> 00:14:04,281
You know,
I just want to thank you
313
00:14:04,282 --> 00:14:06,283
for welcoming me with open arms
314
00:14:06,284 --> 00:14:09,494
and open boxes of baked goods.
315
00:14:09,495 --> 00:14:13,623
No one will support you more
by cleaning less.
316
00:14:13,624 --> 00:14:16,626
Oh, I stand with you.
I see you.
317
00:14:16,627 --> 00:14:19,629
I-- Oh! Mm.
318
00:14:19,630 --> 00:14:22,632
I'm starting to smell you.
Um, you know what?
319
00:14:22,633 --> 00:14:24,634
Excuse me. Go ahead.
Strike, strike, strike, strike.
320
00:14:24,635 --> 00:14:26,303
Strike, strike. Strike.
321
00:14:26,304 --> 00:14:28,513
Oh, Julianne, the--
the drops are wearing off.
322
00:14:28,514 --> 00:14:30,932
I need a hit.
- So this is where you've been?
323
00:14:30,933 --> 00:14:33,226
I had to go to that
Times Square porno theater
324
00:14:33,227 --> 00:14:35,812
all by myself like a weirdo.
325
00:14:35,813 --> 00:14:38,189
I was the only one
who stayed through the credits.
326
00:14:38,190 --> 00:14:40,233
I mean, people
really have no appreciation
327
00:14:40,234 --> 00:14:42,527
for how much work
goes into those films.
328
00:14:42,528 --> 00:14:44,487
Fine, fine.
No, this is where the perks are.
329
00:14:44,488 --> 00:14:47,532
These-- These garbage jockeys
can get me sanitation plates.
330
00:14:47,533 --> 00:14:50,619
I'll be able to block
any fire hydrant in the city.
331
00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:52,120
This wasn't the deal.
332
00:14:52,121 --> 00:14:54,122
No, I didn't share my stash
with you
333
00:14:54,123 --> 00:14:58,251
so that you could be the
Che Guevara of the hole people.
334
00:14:58,252 --> 00:15:01,213
They've already put my face
on a shirt.
335
00:15:02,548 --> 00:15:04,424
Uh-huh.
No, Julianne, please.
336
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:05,508
Look, look, look, look, look.
337
00:15:05,509 --> 00:15:08,011
I just need just a taste
338
00:15:08,012 --> 00:15:10,513
of that sweet ear juice.
339
00:15:10,514 --> 00:15:12,182
Just-- Just to get me
through the day.
340
00:15:12,183 --> 00:15:14,559
Come on, baby,
come on, you know.
341
00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:17,520
We've had some good times
together, haven't we?
342
00:15:17,521 --> 00:15:20,523
Oh, Dan,
I hate seeing you like this.
343
00:15:20,524 --> 00:15:22,651
But if you really gotta
have the drops...
344
00:15:22,652 --> 00:15:23,985
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
345
00:15:23,986 --> 00:15:25,820
...then they're right... here.
346
00:15:25,821 --> 00:15:27,490
What? Yes.
347
00:15:37,917 --> 00:15:39,250
Will you just get in?
348
00:15:39,251 --> 00:15:42,253
It's cleaner
than most subway cars.
349
00:15:42,254 --> 00:15:43,797
I need your wingspan.
350
00:15:43,798 --> 00:15:45,173
It'll take forever
to find Bert's garbage
351
00:15:45,174 --> 00:15:47,509
with my T-Rex arms.
352
00:15:47,510 --> 00:15:49,094
Perhaps I should have
said this earlier,
353
00:15:49,095 --> 00:15:51,554
but a major characteristic
of germophobia
354
00:15:51,555 --> 00:15:54,099
is not wanting to jump
in dumpsters.
355
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,767
If you don't want to help me,
356
00:15:55,768 --> 00:15:57,686
you should at least get in here
to help yourself.
357
00:15:57,687 --> 00:16:01,731
You clearly have control issues.
You need to embrace the chaos.
358
00:16:01,732 --> 00:16:05,944
Counterpoint--
You have deli meat on your neck.
359
00:16:05,945 --> 00:16:07,445
Okay, fine.
360
00:16:07,446 --> 00:16:09,698
Just trying to help.
361
00:16:09,699 --> 00:16:11,991
Aah! Aah! Wyatt, help!
362
00:16:11,992 --> 00:16:15,453
There's a trash monster,
and it's pulling me down!
363
00:16:15,454 --> 00:16:17,497
Jump in and help me!
364
00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:21,167
Nice try, but everyone knows
the garbage monster
365
00:16:21,168 --> 00:16:23,002
would eat the black guy first.
366
00:16:23,003 --> 00:16:25,296
Forget it.
Sorry I bothered you.
367
00:16:26,799 --> 00:16:28,550
God.
368
00:16:28,551 --> 00:16:31,010
I think I'm caught on something.
369
00:16:31,011 --> 00:16:34,180
My foot's stuck.
I-I can't move.
370
00:16:34,181 --> 00:16:36,307
Oh, oh.
You're telling the truth.
371
00:16:36,308 --> 00:16:38,143
Uh, okay.
372
00:16:38,144 --> 00:16:40,437
Try to reach your leg
with your mouth.
373
00:16:40,438 --> 00:16:41,938
You can chew it off.
374
00:16:41,939 --> 00:16:43,606
Wyatt!
375
00:16:43,607 --> 00:16:45,650
Alright.
376
00:16:45,651 --> 00:16:47,570
Give me your hand.
377
00:16:49,405 --> 00:16:51,699
- Oh, I'm loose.
- Aah!
378
00:16:54,702 --> 00:16:55,994
You did it!
379
00:16:55,995 --> 00:16:58,580
Why are you doing this to me?!
380
00:16:58,581 --> 00:17:00,707
I played your game.
I spun your wheel.
381
00:17:00,708 --> 00:17:02,250
I danced for you eight times
382
00:17:02,251 --> 00:17:03,918
and came up with a new move
every time.
383
00:17:03,919 --> 00:17:05,545
The running man,
the jogging man,
384
00:17:05,546 --> 00:17:07,172
and the walking man
are the same dance.
385
00:17:07,173 --> 00:17:09,841
You were just getting tired.
386
00:17:09,842 --> 00:17:13,094
You couldn't let me just have
one thing that I'm weird about.
387
00:17:13,095 --> 00:17:14,679
Now I'm in a dumpster.
388
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:18,725
I'm covered in trash,
and it's disgusting.
389
00:17:18,726 --> 00:17:23,563
But I guess it hasn't killed me,
which is nice.
390
00:17:23,564 --> 00:17:26,775
You know what?
I don't hate that fuzzy lamp.
391
00:17:26,776 --> 00:17:28,693
I believe that's a squirrel
who choked on a light bulb.
392
00:17:28,694 --> 00:17:30,988
We're just gonna cover that
with some trash.
393
00:17:32,740 --> 00:17:34,240
Julianne! Julianne!
394
00:17:34,241 --> 00:17:35,950
Alright, one move
and these drops
395
00:17:35,951 --> 00:17:37,368
get dropped into the dropster.
396
00:17:37,369 --> 00:17:38,912
What?
397
00:17:38,913 --> 00:17:40,830
Dumpster.
398
00:17:40,831 --> 00:17:42,665
Oh, I knew
I couldn't trust you.
399
00:17:42,666 --> 00:17:45,210
The real day terror
was you all along.
400
00:17:45,211 --> 00:17:46,878
Oh, no, this is on you, Dan.
401
00:17:46,879 --> 00:17:49,589
'Cause you lost sight
of what's important.
402
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:52,383
But instead, it's come to this.
403
00:17:52,384 --> 00:17:55,012
Aah! No!
404
00:17:58,182 --> 00:18:00,141
Julianne, you still up there?
405
00:18:00,142 --> 00:18:03,436
I seem to be stuck halfway down.
406
00:18:03,437 --> 00:18:06,689
Ah, but in so many ways...
407
00:18:06,690 --> 00:18:08,691
you've already hit bottom.
408
00:18:15,407 --> 00:18:19,077
Oh, wait a second.
409
00:18:19,078 --> 00:18:21,120
I think this is Bert's trash.
410
00:18:21,121 --> 00:18:24,374
It's filled
with condolence cards.
411
00:18:24,375 --> 00:18:27,168
"My deepest sympathies
for Todd."
412
00:18:27,169 --> 00:18:28,753
Her alligator died.
This is great.
413
00:18:28,754 --> 00:18:30,296
I mean, not great
that it's dead,
414
00:18:30,297 --> 00:18:32,340
great that we know
what's bothering her.
415
00:18:32,341 --> 00:18:35,301
Abby, is that you?
416
00:18:35,302 --> 00:18:38,054
Dan? What are you doing
in the trash chute?
417
00:18:38,055 --> 00:18:40,807
Oh, just chillin'.
418
00:18:40,808 --> 00:18:43,268
If you see
any expired ear medication,
419
00:18:43,269 --> 00:18:46,771
could you be a dear
and just throw it up here?
420
00:18:51,735 --> 00:18:53,820
I really appreciate
you doing this, Judge.
421
00:18:53,821 --> 00:18:56,197
It's exactly what Todd
would have wanted.
422
00:19:09,503 --> 00:19:11,963
We are gathered here today
to honor the memory
423
00:19:11,964 --> 00:19:13,548
of Todd the alligator.
424
00:19:13,549 --> 00:19:15,216
If she was here,
she would remind us
425
00:19:15,217 --> 00:19:17,969
to appreciate all
the special people in our lives,
426
00:19:17,970 --> 00:19:22,724
whether it be friends,
alligators, or co-workers.
427
00:19:22,725 --> 00:19:24,309
Actually, if she were here,
428
00:19:24,310 --> 00:19:27,812
she would try
to violently maul all of us.
429
00:19:27,813 --> 00:19:29,189
God, I miss her.
430
00:19:32,067 --> 00:19:35,070
She was a former
military alligator.
431
00:19:36,864 --> 00:19:38,741
See you later, alligator.
432
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:44,203
Well, as a Louisianan,
433
00:19:44,204 --> 00:19:46,039
I've been to a lot
of alligator funerals.
434
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,708
And this one is right up there.
435
00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:51,544
Yeah, but I bet those
didn't end a janitors' strike.
436
00:19:51,545 --> 00:19:53,212
Now if only there was something
we could do
437
00:19:53,213 --> 00:19:55,006
about the garbage strike.
438
00:19:55,007 --> 00:19:57,717
Actually, word on the street
is the strike is over.
439
00:19:57,718 --> 00:19:59,510
How do you know that?
440
00:19:59,511 --> 00:20:01,095
I found a hearing aid
in the dumpster,
441
00:20:01,096 --> 00:20:03,973
so I can hear people talking
on the street.
442
00:20:03,974 --> 00:20:07,185
I like to think we made it
possible in some small way.
443
00:20:07,186 --> 00:20:09,103
Oh, we made it possible
in a big way
444
00:20:09,104 --> 00:20:11,689
when our trash balloons started
exploding all over the city.
445
00:20:11,690 --> 00:20:15,068
Yeah, nothing like a bunch
of trash falling from the sky
446
00:20:15,069 --> 00:20:18,237
to get people back
to the bargaining table.
447
00:20:18,238 --> 00:20:20,448
I guess you hurled yourself
into that trash chute
448
00:20:20,449 --> 00:20:22,742
for nothing.
- Well, no, not for nothing.
449
00:20:22,743 --> 00:20:26,913
Once I hit the dumpster,
I found this cool lamp.
450
00:20:26,914 --> 00:20:30,667
Also, spending the day
with you was, um, enjoyable.
451
00:20:30,668 --> 00:20:34,212
We should do it again.
Next garbage strike.
452
00:20:34,213 --> 00:20:37,131
I'll hold on to the bottle
just in case.
453
00:20:37,132 --> 00:20:39,801
You know, the beauty
of expired ear medication
454
00:20:39,802 --> 00:20:43,096
is that it just keeps on
getting more expired.
455
00:20:44,890 --> 00:20:47,558
That's weird. The cello case
is stuck on something.
456
00:20:47,559 --> 00:20:49,311
I think it's a power line.
457
00:20:52,272 --> 00:20:54,191
{\an8}Yep, it's a power line.
458
00:20:55,859 --> 00:20:57,151
{\an8}I'm hearing two Con Ed guys
459
00:20:57,152 --> 00:20:59,404
{\an8}have a conversation
in an elevator.
460
00:20:59,405 --> 00:21:02,865
{\an8}Seems there's
a citywide blackout.
461
00:21:02,866 --> 00:21:05,868
{\an8}Oh, and they're in love.
462
00:21:05,869 --> 00:21:07,537
{\an8}What do you say, Dan?
463
00:21:07,538 --> 00:21:09,789
{\an8}You want to hit up a bar
and get some free drinks?
464
00:21:09,790 --> 00:21:11,416
{\an8}Yeah. Yeah. Sure, sure, sure.
Why not?
465
00:21:11,417 --> 00:21:12,834
{\an8}You know what?
Bring the drops.
466
00:21:12,835 --> 00:21:15,420
{\an8}Might as well make it
psychedelic.
467
00:21:15,421 --> 00:21:16,963
{\an8}Oh, get your hand--
468
00:21:16,964 --> 00:21:20,092
{\an8}Sting, is that you?
35365
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