Original subtitles

Good catch.

Hello?

Yes, Brother?

Where are you?

I'm at the beach.

Where?

Ah, you probably don't even know what a beach is.

You've been stuck bathing in ponds all your life.

I'm stuck here dealing with cow dung.

Life's a blast here.

And it's a mess here.

You live only once, Brother.

You should take out a loan and come here.

You can easily pay it back.

You're incredible.

We still haven't paid off the previous loan.

People keep coming to our door for it.

Why don't you sell two acres of land and join me here?

You need to see the beauty of England.

I see.

We only own four acres, Brother.

We sold two to send you abroad.

And now you want to sell the two acres that are supposed to be mine?

I sent you some photos... with some beautiful ladies.

Did you check them out?

Seriously?

I sent you a pic of our new buffalo.

Did you see it?

Give it to me.

You will go to hell, you idiot!

We took out a loan to send you abroad

and you're wasting time with those ladies?

You dog!

I seek your blessings, Mom.

Don't bother. Send us some pounds instead.

No worries, Mom.

I'll invite you over next month.

Nah, we're not interested in going there.

What will I do if your father falls for those ladies?

He's up to no good here, too.

You'll never let me get a visa, will you?

You...

Don't worry, Mom.

You can come here while Dad stays there.

Nah, I'm not interested. Just send some pounds over.

Alright, do as you wish.

I'll be starting work on Monday.

Then I'll have all the money in the world.

You won't have to worry about anything anymore.

The way you're talking, I'm already worried.

Okay, Mom. I seek your blessings.

Let's go, Dheera Singh.

You have the rest of your life to enjoy these sights.

First, fulfill your responsibilities.

Hey, how much longer are you going take, Dheera?

I'm coming, bro. I'm coming!

Come on, Dheera. Let's get your day started.

Forget about his day.

If he keeps up like this, he'll get fired.

And if he gets fired, he won't have any money,

and then we'll kick him out of the house.

If we kick him out, he won't have anywhere to stay,

so he'll end up getting kicked out of the UK too.

And if he gets kicked out of the UK, he won't be able to pay the loan,

and the moneylenders will shame him.

Let's go, guys.

You got kicked out and you didn't even tell us.

What do you mean?

Come on, we'll explain on the way.

Alright, let's go.

He's right, you know.

We shouldn't say such mean things about the boy.

Come on, today's your first day.

Let us show you what work you'll be doing.

This won't do, Thakur.

Your alcohol bill is higher than the sand bill.

If you keep this up, I'll remove you from the company.

Remember, I'm the one who made you the contractor.

Don't let this get out.

Bro, he's the guy I was talking about.

Welcome to IPCC.

I'm here to work, bro. Not to play cricket.

You battered face, IPCC stands for

Indo-Pak Construction Company.

Now greet Paaji (brother).

Hello, Paaji.

Hi.

You're giving him a lot of respect.

He's the contractor.

We have to show him some respect.

His name is Paaji.

I see. Your name is really Paaji?

Forget my name and tell me yours.

My name is Dheera.

Your name means slow,

but you'll have to work fast.

Do you have any skills?

I can do everything.

Thakur, check his horsepower.

Make him work on breaking the ground.

Listen, son, we always make the newbies break the ground.

If you can do it, that'll be great.

Otherwise, we'll bury you in the same ground.

No, I can do it.

He looks like a farmer's son.

Anyone who can till land can do construction work.

We should hire him before he leaves.

- Hire him. - What did you say your name was?

My name is Dheera.

You don't look like a Dheera.

Excuse me?

You look like a diamond.

Come here, I'll show you what you need to do.

Alright.

Work properly.

Can you drive?

Yes, I can.

Then come along.

Here you go, guys. So, Dheera,

how was your first day at work?

I hope your legs aren't hurting too much.

Well, my legs do hurt.

But seeing the smile on Mom's face when she sees the money

will make it all worth it.

You're absolutely right, Dheera.

May God bless you with more and more earnings.

You need to wake up and get ready on time tomorrow.

Otherwise, they'll deduct money from our wages.

No, bro, I won't make the same mistake again.

- We'll leave on time. - Alright.

If you really want to leave on time, then let's finish up quickly.

- Let's do it. - Let's do it.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Bro, let me make one thing clear before we get drunk.

I'll be sleeping on the bed tonight.

Who do you think you are, Prince Charles,

that I'll let you have the bed?

Of course, you'll always serve the Englishmen

but never help a fellow countryman.

Why did you come here if you hate the Englishmen?

Bro, why don't we take turns instead of fighting every day?

Just shut up, Mr. Advisor.

Many have already been kicked out because of this bed.

You're thinking that if we do that,

you'll also get a chance to sleep on it.

Just keep quiet, pick a corner, take your blanket, and go to sleep.

- Don't even think about the bed. - Yes.

- Alright. - I'm sleeping on the bed tonight.

- Okay, bro. - Let's get this straight.

Don't even look at the bed.

I'll be sleeping on it, not you.

No, I'll sleep on the bed.

I'm going to sleep on it. Try and stop me.

Come on, try me.

Try and stop me.

Come on, try me.

- Back off! - Back off!

Get lost!

The way they are fighting,

that bed is going to break any minute now.

You should go to sleep, Dheera.

You have to work tomorrow. They'll keep fighting all night.

I'm so exhausted today.

Faffer is making us work so hard.

Do this, do that.

And on top of that, we have to go home and cook.

I'll go home and chop the onions.

He'll cook the lentils.

He'll make the lentils and the flatbreads too.

He'll make tonight's dinner.

Then you might as well chop the onions as well.

Yes, you have to chop the onions and cook here.

How long does it take to become a citizen, bro?

Don't even talk about that, bro.

First, learn how to chop onions.

Yes, you'll become a citizen once your children have children.

Yes, that's how long it takes.

- Really? - Yes.

Who knows if he's even making any money?

What about his meals?

He was useless over here.

I kept telling him to at least learn how to cook rice!

He didn't learn a thing.

Hurry up. We're going clubbing tonight.

I'm not going clubbing, bro.

I have loans to repay.

How can I even think about clubbing?

It'll only cost you 50 pounds, Dheera. Stop complaining.

That's 5000 rupees in India.

You'll always remain poor.

Learn something from these Englishmen.

They work for four days

- and chill for three days. - Hmm.

How about you chill for just one day, huh?

If you want to stay with us in the room,

then you'll have to go clubbing.

This isn't fair, bro.

- Let's go then. - Come on.

There she is.

Kaala Shah, she'll take the bait.

Give it a try.

If she agrees, then you'll get to go inside,

otherwise, you'll stay standing outside.

What's up, Ms. President?

I'm fine, but why do you keep calling me?

I called because I had credit on my phone.

This is for your own good.

I found a guy who has a red passport.

- Really? - Yes.

What's your date of birth?

July 27th.

Then you just got lucky.

Get ready to call your parents.

We'll celebrate you becoming a resident here, together.

Oh, my God! You care so much about me.

I really do care about you.

You should care about me sometimes too.

What do you mean?

I mean,

let's dance to celebrate you becoming a resident here.

Fine.

Let's go then.

You're always calculating something.

Let it go for a change.

Everything will eventually add up.

Thakur, this world runs on calculations.

Oh, my, my.

What kind of big brother are you, Mr. Chaudhary?

You didn't tell us that Paaji is coming with you.

Is he going to pay for everything today?

I'll pay the bill, bro. Not a problem.

I'll deduct it from the wages later.

We'll even pay the interest.

But we also need to enjoy our lives, right?

Look at how they're smiling.

It's like cream of the crop.

Don't go after that girl, she's mine.

It's final.

- Shall we? - Let's go.

He behaves like a contractor but appears to be a cook.

Let's go, guys.

"I'm doing good."

"I'm doing good."

"I'm doing good."

"I'm doing good."

"My job is okay."

"I have got good money."

"I have got the right swag too."

"My job is okay."

"I have got good money."

"I have got the right swag too."

"I have people's blessings."

"I'm doing good."

"I'm doing good."

"I'm doing good."

"I'm doing good."

"I'm happy, "

"I'm well settled here."

"I'm doing good."

"I'm doing good."

"Your beloved is famous in Pubs and clubs."

"You can ask anyone, I am not lying."

"You can ask anyone, I am not lying."

"My attitude is making many jealous."

"I'm doing good."

"I'm doing good."

"I'm happy, "

"I'm well settled here."

"I'm doing good."

"I'm doing good."

"I'm doing good."

"To party and have a good time..."

"That's what we boys like to do."

"We never worry about heartaches."

"We never worry about heartaches."

"We are sweet while others are poisonous."

"I'm doing good."

"I'm doing good."

"I'm happy, "

"I'm well settled here."

"I'm doing good."

"I'm doing good."

"I'm doing good."

Goodbye.

Goodbye, sweetheart.

Where are my friends?

- I can't find them. - Bro... you seem lost.

I don't know where my friends are.

They left me alone.

This is London.

People often get lost here.

How will I get home now?

I don't know anything. I'm new here.

Don't worry, I'm here.

I'll take you home. Tell me where you live?

Who are you, bro? I didn't recognize you.

You seem to be new here.

Kaala rules half of London.

Don't worry, I'll take you home.

Really, bro?

Okay, thank you.

Don't worry, your bro's got your back.

Thank you, Kaala. You're so kind.

Thank you.

I'll go home now.

You shouldn't be staying here.

They left you there, alone, in the middle of the night.

I know I shouldn't,

but I don't have any other place to stay.

Why worry about a place to stay when I'm here?

What do you mean?

You'll always remember this.

Don't waste your time in such shacks.

Go gather your things.

I'll take you to a palace.

Really, bro? I can't believe it.

You don't believe it?

It's not your fault. The world is cruel these days.

In this day and age, even if God comes and stands before you,

drunkards like you would question him too.

Listen, I'm just fulfilling my duty as a Punjabi.

If you don't believe me, then it's up to you.

No, bro. Don't leave, Kaala.

I'll go get my bag and my things.

I'll be back before you know it, bro.

- Don't leave. Wait for me. - Make sure to take everything.

Don't leave anything behind.

Otherwise, you'll be searching for bus no. 35 in the morning,

despite having me.

Huh?

Where are you going?

How is that your concern?

I can come and go as I please.

Sorry, bro. We were drunk.

We didn't realize we left you behind.

This is my goodbye.

I had a good time here.

I'm moving to a new place.

At this hour?

With whom?

My brother, Kaala.

You two always fight over the bed.

Kaala!

Don't fall for his trap, you fool.

He's a con artist.

He's known as Kaala, the cheat.

Kaala, the cheat!

Put your bag in the back and sit in the front.

Let's go, bro. Get in.

I have nothing to worry about in the UK as long as Kaala is with me.

Careful, Kaala. Don't brake so hard.

There you go, bro.

That's your new house.

Kaala...

that's a very big house.

Even though my name means black,

my heart is pure white as milk.

What are you waiting for?

Just push the door and go inside.

Don't bother looking for the keys.

You're not coming with me, bro?

Just like you can't have two swords in one sheath,

you can't have two kings in the same palace.

Kaala Shah has his own grand palace.

Kaala, you have a way with words.

That's all I have.

What else do I have--

Yes.

Alright, bro.

Thank you very much, bro.

Thank you, bro. I'll leave now.

You can't just thank me.

You'll have to pay me something as well.

It's not a big deal, bro.

Good.

Here you go.

I only have 80 pounds.

I'll pay you the rest later.

No problem.

I'll manage with it for now.

You'll have to pay the rest in installments.

Okay, bro.

No problem. As you say.

- Goodbye. - Let's go check out your palace.

Kaala, give me a minute to get my bag.

Well done, Kaala Shah.

You earned your daily wage today.

What happens to him depends on his fate.

Kaala is indeed generous.

He gave me such a spacious house for just 80 pounds.

Now I can truly enjoy my stay in England.

Love you, Kaala.

Love you. Love you, my dear.

Love you so much.

The house is massive.

As soon as I step inside...

Incredible.

What's in here?

Let me explore this room first.

Mom, I think there's a thief in our house.

Relax, my child.

Your father is still alive.

I'll go and investigate.

Stay where you are. Stay put.

He thinks he's some kind of gangster.

Who will cook for us if something happens to you?

Mom, I think he's a ghost.

Oh, my God! I'm so dead!

Mom, you're supposed to say "I'm so scared."

Why do you forget

that we're already dead?

Oh no, I always forget that.

Sorry.

Come on, let's get this person out of the house.

No, son.

Not now.

Let's wait until morning.

We should get some rest for now.

Good idea.

Go to sleep. Go to sleep.

The house is so big.

The machines seem to run on their own.

Probably automated.

This is amazing.

Let's see what's over here.

Let's go explore this area.

Wonderful!

It's such a grand house.

I feel like I'm in a palace.

Thank you, Kaala, my brother.

- Mom! - He's snoring like a monster.

Mom, I'll be right back.

At the previous place, they wouldn't let me sleep on the bed.

But here, the blanket keeps moving like Aladdin's carpet.

Sometimes I feel extremely cold, and other times I feel overly hot.

Sometimes I feel extremely cold, and other times I feel overly hot.

Sometimes I feel extremely cold, and other times I feel overly hot.

Sometimes I feel extremely cold, and other times I feel overly hot.

Sometimes I feel extremely cold, and other times I feel overly hot.

Come on!

Dad, I can't wait any longer.

Wait a minute, son.

He's going to be out soon.

If he doesn't come out soon, I'll end up doing it right here.

Huh?

What's going on? Why do you guys look so desperate?

Mom, he's been in there for like, thirty minutes already.

Ask him to come out.

He can't hear us.

Oh no, but we can hear all the noise he's making.

It's okay, son.

Have patience.

Nobody has lasted more than two days in there.

As far as scaring him with our presence is concerned...

I don't it will come to that.

He'll run away before that.

Jagga...

Dad, it's my turn.

You came later.

After Jagga's it's my turn.

NO! After Jagga's it's my turn.

Don't act smart or I'll easily put you in your place. You know me.

Mom, the way you're freaking out Dad,

I'm afraid he'll create a mess right there.

I think...

I'm creating a mess... right here.

"This is what you call progress."

"This is what you call..."

- "This is what you call progress." - Enough is enough, Mom.

I cannot take this anymore.

Are you going to scare him away or should I?

Please, calm down.

We don't need to take the trouble.

Your father can handle it.

Right, Steve.

Yes. I'll do it, darling.

"This is what you call progress."

He's leaving on his own.

I think I scared him.

But Mom, he forgot his bag here.

He's so stubborn.

I don't think he left for good.

He'll be back.

Oh no.

Oh, my God!

Huh?

He's seems fine...

Even with me here?

It's like he has some kind of divine superpower,

or maybe the ghosts sent me a surprise.

Where to? Even with me here?

To work.

On foot? Even with me here?

- Get in. - Yes.

I'll take you to work and...

Whatever.

Really?

- Let's go, bro. - Get in.

It's a good thing you ran into me, Kaala.

I'll get you to work in no time.

Hey boss, can I give you some advice on how to lose weight?

No one even offers you food

and I you're always dishing out advice!

You know how embarrassed I felt because of you yesterday?

We were going to work and there was this monkey show happening on the street.

I asked the guy how much he got his monkey for,

and he shot back asking me how much I got mine for!

On a different note, after you left with your bags

where did you end up staying yesterday?

Did you get any sleep at all?

Bro, for the first time since I got here, I actually slept well.

Really?

Where?

I'm staying in a freaking palace,

and it only cost me 80 pounds.

Come on, bro, you don't even get a bedsheet for 80 pounds

and you're saying you got a palace?

Do you think they're fools or something?

- What do you mean? - No, I am just saying.

Gogga, he really got fooled by that cheat.

- He's a lost cause now. - Hmm.

I guess it's a case of "grapes are sour" for you, boss.

Stop complaining.

- Each to his own, guys. - Exactly.

Let's get up and actually do some work for a change.

Oh, by the way, if we heat up some water for you,

will you at least take a bath?

I'm pretty sure even the street dogs are scared of getting bitten by you.

Hey, bro!

Kaala, is that really you?

Shopping, huh? Even with me around, little brother?

Well, you put me up in a palace,

so I figured I should treat myself to something to eat.

Did you only buy food or did you get some drinks too?

Nah, drinks are on the top of the list.

The way you're spending money on shopping,

you won't be able to stay here permanently.

Why?

Well, you need to get married if you want to stay permanently.

But bro, I need a girl to get married to.

And I'll find you a girl, not a guy, bro.

But you need money for that.

Money? I just paid you 80 pounds yesterday.

With that kind of money, a girl won't even let you walk next to her,

let alone marry her.

So what should I do then?

Have you never bought anything on installments?

I bought a TV, fridge, and a fan on installments.

Well, you can get married the same way.

You can pay me in weekly installments.

Get ready for tomorrow.

We're going to a birthday party.

I'll introduce you to a rich, family-oriented girl

who can help you become a citizen, and leave you.

Leave me?

No, I mean she'll help you become a citizen.

And if you're experienced in washing dirty dishes,

she might not leave you after all.

Alright, time to go.

Or do you want me to splurge and hire a driver to take you home,

all for the 80 pounds you gave me?

Alright, I'll get going now.

I don't know if he doesn't have any money

or if he just doesn't want to pay me.

Wow, this really makes me feel like a king.

I'm so happy today.

I am beyond happy!

Just wait and see!

I'm going to indulge myself to the fullest.

You just wait and watch.

Today, I'm going to enjoy my life.

Good man.

Dad, how can you call him a good man?

He's littering in our house and drinking beer.

Well, I said that because he's drinking beer.

Good man.

Dad, if I were alive,

I would have called him uncle and eaten two of his chocolates.

Hey, don't say that.

He's Punjabi.

He reminds me of Punjab.

And let me make things clear, both of you.

If we're going to kick him out, let's decide now.

Because if I get emotional, the situation will change.

Okay?

Now, watch what I'm going to do to him.

Is it over? No problem, I have more.

I'll go get another one.

Come here.

Come here, come here, come here.

Damn, this beer is drunk as well.

Come on now.

This is great.

You...

You...

Grab it, grab it.

Bless you.

Come here, come here, come here.

Where are you going?

I won't let you go.

I won't.

I won't let you go now.

Come here, come here, come here.

- Steve, use your strength. - Here it is, here it is...

Let it go!

He's so stubborn.

Where did you think you were going, huh?

I won't let you.

I won't let you go anywhere.

You are my life.

It's over.

Time to get back to work.

Mom, just a heads up,

don't go near the bathroom or you might faint.

Well, if I have to use it, I'll have to go there anyway.

Oh, my goodness!

He's refusing to leave and his stuff is everywhere.

He's turned our house into a mess.

I'm pretty sure he got kicked out of somewhere else.

Looks like we're going to have to come up

with a big plan to get him out of this house.

- Hmm. - Listen, don't worry, darling.

I'll do something.

Gary darling, you do nothing "something", hmm?

You cannot do anything.

You are what they call useless in Punjabi, if I tell you.

I'll have to do something now.

I will do "something", okay?

Come, my dear.

Thank you, Papa.

Hey, come quickly before they run out of cake.

Oh, yeah, let's hurry up.

Kaala, where are we?

Can't you see it's a birthday party?

It feels like we're crashing a wedding or something.

Don't act like a poor chap when I'm with you.

You have no idea

the level of party you're at and the level of guy you are with!

Hey...

See that girl ...standing there?

Take it easy, man.

She's her aunt.

The girl I want to introduce you to hasn't arrived yet.

- Her aunt? Seriously? - Yes.

I'm willing to go to great lengths to stay here, but...

No, no, no.

Find a girl who's unmarried, even if it costs me an extra 7000 pounds.

Bro, this is my relative's kid's birthday party.

- I see. - She is unmarried?

- The girl is still unmarried. - Yes.

I see.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday , happy birthday, happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Hi, Roop!

Hi!

- Hello, Mr. Kaala! - Hello!

How are you?

Hey, I'm good, thanks.

Greetings!

Greetings to you too.

Please come inside.

You can't leave without having dinner.

- Okay. - Hmm.

Bro, why is she hugging you when we're planning to get her married to me?

Bro, here in the UK, people only hug those with status.

You have to have some money in your pocket, which unfortunately you don't.

This is the UK.

You have to be open-minded here.

That's just how people greet each other.

But she just said greetings and left.

You could've at least introduced us.

She said greetings to you because of me.

You don't have anything that would make her greet you.

Come on, let's go get some cake.

I made it to the gate.

I'm at the gate.

Awesome!

That's pretty cool.

The gate opens by itself.

Hello!

Stop swaying like a pendulum.

Bloody drunkard.

Hey, don't call me a bloody drunkard.

Oh really? If you make a bet with me,

I'll drink the liquor in your glass without even stumbling.

You heard me?

Bro, drinking might make you stutter, but it doesn't make you deaf.

How can you hear me?

Do I need to download some special software just to hear you?

Never mind, tell me what did I say?

What did I say?

I asked, what did I say?

I told you, "What did I say?"

If you can't handle your liquor, then maybe you shouldn't drink so much, bro.

He thinks he is my Mama (uncle).

Pamma?

How do you know my name?

I didn't say Pamma, I said Mama.

I don't have a sister. How can I be your uncle?

I'm begging you here.

Please, don't ruin my buzz just to get some satisfaction for yourself.

Please, let me go, bro.

You can go.

But don't go telling everyone that you met Pamma Englandiya (From England).

Like Pamma Englandiya is... The Pamma Englandiya!

I keep many like you in my pockets.

Go home and get some sleep.

It's not safe to be out so late at night.

Someone might kill you or something.

He's so foolish.

- Where did he come from? - Strange.

What is this new breed of humans that aren't afraid of us?

Listen, he has been living in this house for three days now.

He will get accustomed to this place.

That's why we need to kick him out today itself.

Mom, you can make spooky noises

and I'll do something mischievous, then we'll see what happens.

Small noises won't scare him away.

Mom! We were supposed to scare him, but he's scaring us instead.

Yes.

It's alright, son. Stay strong. I am also a fierce woman from Punjab.

Just wait and watch the power of a Jatti!

No, darling, it's the vengeance of a Jatti.

You're good at talking,

but I'm the one who has to do all the hard work.

Come on then, let's get started.

I can hear some noises.

It seems like there's a party going on.

Hello? Hello?

Mom, did you hear me?

Stop with the hello's already.

I can hear you perfectly fine.

Thank goodness you can hear me.

Why aren't you at work yet?

It's only six o'clock, Mom.

I've told you a million times that my shift starts at nine.

Oh.

It's only six o'clock where you are?

The kids must be on their lunch break here.

I've told you a million times,

England is four and a half hours behind India.

Why did you go to a country that's four and a half hours behind us?

You should have gone somewhere ahead of us.

You won't understand. I'll call you later, Mom.

I'll call you later.

Mom is just too much.

She has an issue with the time here as well.

Come on, why do we have to talk about it later?

If something's behind, it's behind.

Who's calling me now?

Kaala.

Yes, Kaala?

How are you, bro? Everything good?

I'm fine, bro. What could be wrong with me? I'm fine.

And you?

Did you have any issues or troubles last night?

Did someone slap you or curse at you last night?

No, I didn't face any issues.

So, you must have some divine superpowers.

What do you mean?

I mean get ready.

I'll introduce you to the girl you met at the party.

Yes!

What happened?

Did just the thought of the girl make you pull a muscle?

No, bro, I shouted out of joy.

So you're happy? Even when I'm here?

What did you say, bro?

I mean get ready, I'll give you a ride to the restaurant.

Hang up now.

I'm ready.

My brother told me to get ready, so I'm ready.

Just hurry up and get here.

Oh, my God!

I'm so happy!

Is she a girl or an angel?

Everything else in the world seems dull next to her.

Trust me Dheera, even God must have lost focus after creating her.

Sorry for being late.

Hello! Greetings.

Hi.

Hi?

Who says hi when someone says greetings?

I couldn't help but sigh when I saw you.

Don't get so emotional.

We're only entering into a contract marriage, not a real one.

I'll get my money and you can stay here permanently.

After that, we'll go our separate ways.

Got it?

I understand.

I'm trying to save money for it.

I'll come with the wedding procession once I have the money.

What? A wedding procession?

I mean, I'll come that very night.

Fine.

I'll leave now. See you later.

You should at least have a cup of coffee.

What's the rush?

I'll have it.

I'll definitely have it,

but first, you save the money for the wedding.

Okay.

Oh, and by the way, I actually prefer tea over coffee.

And biscuits with it.

Really?

Bye.

Oh my God! She likes tea just like me.

I think she's hinting that she likes me.

"I love your silence, your punishments, your anger and your complaints."

"I love the way you steal glances at me."

"I am drowning in her eyes..."

"Someone help me swim through them."

"My heart tells me... I want to see her every day."

"My heart tells me... I want to see her every day."

"I cannot get angry with her even when she makes a mistake."

"I can be crazy but I cannot be unfaithful."

"I cannot get angry with her even when she makes a mistake."

"I can be crazy but I cannot be unfaithful."

"A photo of just the two of us..."

"Someone help me get it."

"My heart tells me... I want to see her every day."

"My heart tells me... I want to see her every day."

"The breeze smiles when she smiles."

"Flowers learn to blossom from her."

"People who become poets in love..."

"They pen poems just for you."

"Abeer dreams to be with her forever..."

"Someone help us look into each other's eyes."

"My heart tells me... I want to see her every day."

"My heart tells me... I want to see her every day."

"This isn't a fluke."

"This is the result of my hard work, girl."

Hey! Hold on a sec.

Who is it?

How are you, partner?

Partner? Do we sing in a band together?

We may not sing together, but we share similar characteristics.

We have things in common.

What characteristics? Are you my sister-in-law or something?

I'm not your sister-in-law.

I'm talking about our category.

Brotherhood.

We're part of the same drunkard brotherhood.

I've heard of the Punjabi brotherhood.

What's the drunkard brotherhood?

Well, it goes like this.

A person who drinks without watching the clock,

drinks without water or any specific reason, just like me,

is a member of brotherhood.

He falls in that category.

You're quite funny.

Tell me, why are you so happy?

Brother, your brother has found

a prospective resident who has agreed to marry him.

She's as solid as a brick on a wall.

- You found someone? - Yes.

So you won't be temporary here for much longer.

And how is that a bad thing?

It's good news.

Let's celebrate. Get your leg up.

Come on.

- Raise your leg. - Here you go.

Now put that down and lift the other one.

- The other one? - Yes, lift it.

There you go!

There you go!

There you go!

There you go!

There you go!

Bro, if you're looking to marry a resident,

then let Dheera Englandiya know.

Bloody Dheera Englandiya!

You shouldn't joke about the dead.

Mom, he's dancing by himself.

Is there anyone dancing with him?

No.

He's alone. There's no one with him.

Look at him salsa dancing!

I think he met someone.

He found someone and left us sitting.

Hmm.

Just go to sleep, son.

Hurry up, slowpoke.

Oh, damn it!

Hey, be careful there, you big ox.

If it falls on your feet, you'll scream "Mummy!"

Bring it over here.

Hey Dheera, my brother!

Where were you yesterday?

What do I say, Mr. Chaudhary?

You'll have to tell me.

You can't hide it from us.

I went to meet someone yesterday.

Who?

A girl.

A girl?

Yep, a girl.

- Is she dark-skinned? - No.

Is she fair-skinned?

No. Not a foreigner then.

So she's Punjabi?

She's a Punjabi who is a resident here!

Did you guys finalize the deal?

We did.

- Now remember, Dheera. - What?

You should try to get permanent residency here on your own.

Don't try to use her to become permanent, or she'll trouble you every day.

I'll do whatever you say, Mr. Chaudhary.

We won't let you off the hook that easily. We want a party.

You guys want a party? Then we'll have a party.

- Party! - I see.

So you want to party without the contractor.

You work pretty fast for someone with a name that means slow.

Where were you yesterday?

I went to meet someone.

Oh, you went to meet someone.

No, someone was supposed to introduce me to someone.

Who?

Kaala wanted to introduce me to a resident.

So did it work out?

It did. I found a resident to marry.

You should have told me.

I could have introduced you to a resident.

He's right.

He used to run a marriage bureau before he became a contractor.

It's a different story that he's had two failed marriages himself.

They're right, you shouldn't keep old buddies around,

because they spill all your secrets.

Why do I always end up with lazy people?

Get back to work!

Why even argue with such contractors?

Let's get back to work.

I've never seen such a lazy contractor before.

I don't know who lets him loose on us so early in the morning.

How did a contractor who is usually so stingy become so generous today?

Hey! Only true brothers share in each other's joys.

That's right.

I heard you got a big house.

Contractor, don't call it a house, it's a palace.

Palace, whatever.

I thought we could throw a party for the palace.

I don't mind spending 20-25 pounds.

Open the bottle.

Be careful, Contractor, later you'll be asking for the bill yourself.

If we're talking about bills, let's settle it once and for all.

- One, two, three... - There he goes again.

Four, four...

This is what we were afraid of.

When you drink beer, you act like a wok doing a balancing act on a wall.

Mr. Chaudhary, you give such great examples.

Contractors build homes and I give examples.

That's true.

Hey, you still haven't told us where you're staying.

You know the old park?

Yeah.

The one with the creaking gate.

There's a curvy shortcut ahead.

After that, there's a big palace that belongs to your brother.

That palace has huge beds.

We brothers will sleep on those beds.

Today, you'll come with me.

Really?

- No, no, no way. - This is wrong.

You're coming with us.

No.

I remember I have some urgent work to do.

You can go with Thakur.

No, my brother will come with me.

You're coming with me?

No, you come with us, Contractor.

This is the limit!

Don't make me deduct your daily wages.

Come on, Contractor, you're showing your true colors now.

Let's go, Dheera.

Let's go.

Come with me, come with me.

The contractor won't come along.

Let's go.

Fine, if you survive the night, then come to work tomorrow morning.

How much farther are you going to make me walk, Dheera?

Come on, Mr. Chaudhary, we're almost there.

"We're almost there."

You sound just like those brothers who take people

from Lahore to Faisalabad saying the same thing, "we're almost there."

Yeah, right. Like hell we're almost there.

- Hey, partner, how are you? - Here comes Pamma, my brother.

Where are you taking him?

Pamma, meet Mr. Chaudhary Thakur.

Mr. Chaudhary, meet Pamma Englandiya, my brother.

Pamma Englandiya?

But Pamma Englandiya passed away seven years ago.

How can he see him?

Maybe one drunkard can see another.

Like how a Punjabi can spot another Punjabi.

He's no Chaudhary.

He owes money to half of England.

He owes me 237 pounds too.

You can ask him if you want.

Say hello to him.

Greetings.

- Not over here, over there. - Greetings.

Not over there, over here.

He's here?

He's standing right in front of us.

Bye, Dheera. We've reached your home. I'll see you tomorrow.

- No, Mr. Chaudhary. - I'll come some other day.

- No, big brother. - Please let me go.

No, let's go inside.

Please let me go home.

Tonight, both of us will sleep in that house.

Let's go, Mr. Chaudhary.

Please let me go home.

- Let's go inside. - I haven't told my family. Let me go home.

Tonight, both of us will sleep in that house.

It's brothers like you who get people like me killed.

I won't let you go. Come on, Mr. Chaudhary.

Let me go home!

Your Mr. Chaudhary won't be sleeping now.

After all, he heard Pamma Englandiya's name.

Check out my brother's place.

I really love my brother.

My brother is here with me.

Look at this amazing house, it's like a palace.

Check out the bed.

You're getting scared for no reason.

Isn't your brother's house even bigger than the contractor's?

Let's sleep together, cuddling.

Come on, bro. Come here.

Come on, come here. Rest your head on my arm.

He was right.

This house really does look like a palace.

Today that saying has come true - fools rule.

Look at him, sleeping like a dead log.

I too never dared to sit on that chair.

You are sure to die.

Mom, he used to come by himself earlier.

Today, he brought someone along.

It seems like he's turning this house into a guesthouse.

Just look at him, he looks like a discarded half-eaten mango.

Nothing we do or say has any impact on him.

I think it's time we pull out our bag of tricks and scare him.

Let's get started.

Stick face, forget our home, now you won't even remember yours.

Kaala, give me the account details.

Mom, we spent 2000 rupees on animal feed.

Hmm?

We used 2000 rupees for feed.

Hmm.

And then 2500 rupees on urea.

Plus 5000 rupees for fuel for the tractor.

Okay.

We had to borrow 2000 rupees.

Borrow?

We just ran out of funds.

How did we run out of money?

I've called Dheera.

Who's calling me now?

Hey Brother, how are you doing?

I'm good.

Tell me, have you started working yet?

Yeah, Brother, I'm at work right now.

Do you get paid or do it for free?

Of course, I'm getting paid. I don't work for free.

It's been two weeks. You haven't sent us any money.

Brother, I'm trying something out.

What are you up to?

I found a girl. I'm trying to impress her.

Mom! He's fallen for a girl.

Here, talk to him.

You'll end up in hell! Who have you gotten involved with?

Are you turning out like your father?

Mom...

Hmm, who is this girl you're in love with, huh?

I'm not in love, Mom.

I want to marry her so I can stay here permanently.

You idiot! You're all grown up and still don't feel permanent?

Listen up.

I don't care if you're temporary or permanent.

Just send me the pounds!

They give us more money there!

Got it?

Okay, Mom.

Every time I get a call from the village, it's always for money.

Why don't you call to ask how I'm doing for once?

That's not fair, Mr. Chaudhary. You left without telling me.

Well, if I had waited to inform you,

I wouldn't have even been worthy of informing anyone.

What's all this? One, two, three, four.

Why are you wearing so many jackets?

Did you go to the flea market or something?

I've got a fever because I'm scared.

Then you should go see a doctor.

I did, but he was sick too and went to see a Hakim.

Oh no, then you should have stayed home.

If I had stayed home, I wouldn't have earned my daily wage of 80 pounds.

I just need to put up a few bricks and have a chat.

You're right.

Hey!

Dheera! Thakur!

I'm paying you to work, not to chat.

You always argue when it comes to your wages.

And when it's time to work, you back out.

Bro, listen up. This is England, not some marketplace.

Come on, get up.

Get up, get up.

We just received a delivery.

Follow me like good boys.

Men like him get ready in the morning and ask their moms for conveyance money.

"Give me some cash. I need to go to work."

You shouldn't be scared of such contractors.

I've come across thousands of contractors like him.

- You can take a cut in your salary... - Hey!

But not when it comes to respect.

Oh, I just remembered I wanted to introduce you to someone.

No, Mr. Chaudhary, I don't want to meet anyone.

I already have a girl.

I can't handle two women.

You dried up plum, I wanted to introduce you to a doctor.

You're the one who's not well.

So why do you want to introduce me to a doctor?

A patient can't talk to a doctor directly.

You can talk to him.

- Okay. - You look smart.

Well, I am.

You just look smart.

Come on, let's lay down a brick or two.

Your face looks like a brick too. Why don't we lay that down instead?

- Greetings. - Greetings.

Greetings to you too.

Hey Mr. Chaudhary, are you sure she's a real doctor?

She looks more like a beautician than a doctor.

Is she a permanent resident?

We'll find out once she starts giving you an injection.

- Doctor... - Yes?

This is my friend.

He talks to Pamma Englandiya.

How?

In person, face-to-face.

Where?

Every day, near the park.

- He's always drunk. - Yep.

- Do you know the old park? - Yeah, I know it.

- There's a house behind it. - Yeah, I know the one.

The abandoned house?

- Yeah, I know that one. - He sleeps there.

- How? - Like this.

I spent a night there too.

They troubled me so much that I ended up with a fever.

Can you please check?

How do you feel?

As long as your hands are here, I feel just fine.

Chaudhary, I won't pay her fees.

Son, it says "Please feel free" outside.

That's exactly what I'm doing.

Don't worry.

I'll fix this right away.

Mummy!

Roop's call?

Hello?

Hello? How are you?

I was good, but now I'm not so sure.

Why? What happened?

Nothing, really. How about you? How are you doing?

I'm absolutely fine.

Listen, I was thinking if you're free tomorrow, we could meet up.

Actually, I won't be able to make it tomorrow.

Why?

Don't you want to meet me?

No, it's not like that.

Then what's the problem?

This will be like a dream come true, but...

But? But what?

Well, the thing is, I haven't saved enough money to give you any.

That's okay. We can meet once you've saved up enough.

You're so nice and cooperative.

Alright, thank you. Okay, bye-bye.

Okay, bye.

'He's so innocent.'

She's so nice.

She agrees with whatever I say.

It would be great if she agreed to marry me for free.

I swear to God!

I'm definitely feeling like royalty right now.

Wow, I'm living like a king!

This foreigner seems pretty nice.

He's got a whole team of servants

They clean up the place and make the bed too.

Talk about luck!

Sleep as much as you want today.

For all the trouble you've caused us,

we'll make sure to give you a taste of it too.

You won't even realize what hits you.

We will scare you to death!

Hey there, kiddo, how you holding up?

Not great, what about you?

Huh? Who are you?

How did you get in here?

Just like you do every day.

This is my house, I come and go as I please.

I pay the rent.

And who are you to question me?

I'm the owner of this place.

Oh, so you're the owner's son.

When did you get here?

Why would we ever leave this place?

We're always in the room next door.

Huh?

In the room next door?

What do you mean?

Let me explain.

Hey, Sister, greetings to you.

Wait, I'll greet you properly.

Man, I still feel drunk from last night.

I'll sober you up real quick.

I got to say, you're something else.

You've got a foreigner as your servant.

Watch your manners. He's my husband.

Say greetings to your brother-in-law.

Well, it's a different story that I make him work like a servant.

Greetings, Brother-in-law.

I got to say, you two make a cute couple.

You're so fit while Sister's...

I used to be slim, you know.

My waist used to be 28 inches.

But now, it's 58 inches after death.

I feel like I'm still drunk, honestly.

Earlier, it felt like they appeared out of nowhere, like ghosts.

Now it feels like I heard her say "after death."

Yep, Mom's right.

After death.

Many years ago, we died in this very house.

Mummy! Ghosts!

Wake up!

If you die, you'll be stuck here just like us.

Then poor Steve will have to cook for another soul.

Someone needs to wake him up.

Steve, go and get a glass of water.

Go grab some water, would you?

Mom, I think he might be dead.

Huh?

Then we'll be charged with murder!

And face 14 years of imprisonment!

Oh no!

You know how scared I am of going to jail!

Mom, we can't end up in jail.

Really?

Okay then.

But why not?

Because we're already dead!

I always forget about that.

I remember everything else though.

Wake up already!

Come on, Steve, hurry up!

What is he doing in there? Writing a book?

Oh God, can someone wake him up already?

Wake up!

Wake up now!

Where am I?

You're right where you fell!

Where else would you be?

Please don't kill me, Sister!

Sister, it's not right to kill me. Please, spare my life.

Just let me leave, please.

But how can we allow you to go?

You've been snoring so loud, half of London is going crazy.

You're not leaving this house until I get what I want.

Please, just let me go.

Please, I'm begging you.

Here's the deal.

You can come, stay, eat, drink, and sleep here.

You can even snore all you want.

But if you try to leave this house for good,

I'll chase after you, grab your neck, and drag you back.

Remember that.

Don't forget.

No, I won't forget.

Because I am amazing!

"I am hot and happening!"

Hey...

where are you going?

Come here and dance with me.

Imagine you're Akshay Kumar and keep me company.

"I am hot and happening!"

Hot and happening.

"I am hot and happening!"

"I am hot and happening!"

"I am hot and happening!"

"I am hot and happening!"

"Dear Lord!"

"I am hot and happening!"

"I am hot and happening!"

What's up, partner?

Why the sad face?

I'm worried, Pamma.

That's strange.

How can someone who troubles others be worried?

Can I ask you something?

Sure, go ahead.

Have you ever seen a ghost?

Do they really exist?

Yes, they do exist.

Life would be meaningless without ghosts, right?

So, what should one do when encountering a ghost?

What can one do anyway?

Well, whatever needs to be done will be done by the ghost, little brother.

That's what worries me. I can actually see ghosts.

Why are you worried? You should be happy.

You're quite the all-rounder, bro.

You get along with ghosts just fine

and you interact with humans too.

I'm telling you, one day you'll become the leader of the ghosts.

Bro, I'm so scared of them that I can't even scream in their presence,

and you want me to talk to them?

Have the ghosts ever harmed you?

Well, you're still alive, aren't you?

That's the problem.

I don't know how long they'll let me live.

It depends on their mood, bro.

We can't make any guesses.

What do you mean?

I mean you shouldn't tell anyone else about it.

People will think you're crazy.

Really?

Then I won't.

No, you can't discuss it with outsiders.

But you can talk to your family.

Otherwise, when will you ever talk to them? After you're dead?

I can talk to my family?

Should I call my mom?

Go ahead and call her.

Alright, I'm giving her a call.

Wait, I'll dial her number.

Who's calling this early in the morning?

Who is it?

Hello?

Hello, Mom?

Mom, I need your blessings.

May God bless you, my son.

Mom, there's something I wanted to ask you.

Do ghosts really exist?

Yes, they do. Absolutely.

Mom too confirmed that ghosts are real.

Yes, she's telling the truth.

Mom believes in them too.

Are you sure, Mom? Ghosts exist?

Yes, they definitely exist.

The ghost of laziness.

The ghost of love.

The ghost of staring at girls.

The ghost of wanting to settle abroad.

The ghost of borrowing money.

And the biggest ghost of all, the one who never sends money to his family!

They exist, my son. And these ghosts are just like you.

What are you saying, Mom?

I don't know what to do.

Don't worry.

Not all ghosts are the same. They're not all dangerous.

Some of them are good, like Pamma Englandiya.

You've relieved my heart by saying that, Pamma.

That's just how I am.

Alright, I should get going now.

Just be careful of ghosts.

Okay.

Make sure to go home on time, bro.

If you're really scared, have a drink or two.

But only drink within your means, alright?

Thakur, you made such a fuss at work, but your acting skills didn't work.

Because of you, I had to pay the workers an extra 10 pounds this week.

What are those two doing here together?

I'm going to expose them!

Why are snake and mongoose hanging out together?

I know who the snake is, but who are you calling a mongoose, huh?

Alright, enough. Let's not drag this out.

People like you always drag things out and cause trouble.

I don't understand your Indo-Pak friendship.

You fight at work and then here you are having coffee together.

I hope you get diabetes!

Dheera, brother, let me explain...

Paaji, you tell him.

The thing is, I hired Thakur to get maximum productivity from the workers

so that I can show off as a contractor and pay as little as possible in wages.

Ah, I see, so that's your secret.

Wait until I tell everyone.

No, Dheera, don't do that.

It'll ruin our Indo-Pak friendship.

Do you want me to increase your wages?

No, thank you.

I don't want wages earned through such means.

Do you need any help from me?

Nah, I don't really need you for anything.

Folks like you aren't even needed by their own family.

So, yeah, why would I need you?

You cannot die drowning in it, perhaps you can smell it and drown yourself.

Shame on you.

- Let's go, Mr. Chaudhary. - Bye, Paaji.

Chaudhary...

Could you please let me know why you're dragging me along?

If we need to kill someone then I need to go home and get a weapon or two.

You cannot kill a mosquito, how will you kill a man?

So, what do you want from me exactly?

Why are you dragging me around like I'm some kind of thief?

Hey, have you ever seen a ghost before?

Ghost! Ghost!

No way!

I'm terrified of ghosts!

I really don't want to see them!

Wait, I actually saw a female ghost once.

Really?

Well, I saw my wife without makeup once.

I'm scared here and you're cracking jokes.

Seriously, have you ever seen a ghost?

You know, when I visited your house, I felt like there were ghosts there.

They bothered me all night long.

They kept slapping me.

Well, there isn't much space for them to slap you.

But if you insist, I'll believe you.

They're bothering me too, Mr. Chaudhary.

You should help me out.

We need to get rid of them from the house.

I can't help you.

Don't bring shame to your name, Mr. Chaudhary.

You promised to help me, remember?

Now you're challenging my pride...

Well, I still can't help you.

But, I know a sage.

He's apparently got control over many ghosts.

I've never seen it personally, but he claims to.

Then take me to him.

He's the only one who can save me now.

I'll go with you, but you'll have to pay his fees.

No worries, I'll handle the payment, you penny face.

Come on, let's go.

I won't come with you if you keep insulting me like this.

Let's just go already!

Insulting me and then asking me to do your work!

- Sage! The sage is here! - The sage is here!

Wait, the sage is a woman?

No, he must have taken on a different form.

Sage, have you changed your form?

No , he'll be out soon.

Okay.

He'll be out in a minute.

Sage! Sage! Sage is here!

That was a very bad soul.

Here, take care of it.

Just don't keep it with the other spirits, or it'll cause a lot of trouble.

Alright, sage.

Yes, my child?

Sage...

They look less like a sage and more like a music director.

Shh!

- Sage! - Sage!

- Oh, for God's sake! - I understand!

- Sage! Sage! Sage! - We're in big trouble!

- Help me! - My child,

you don't have to tell me what trouble you're in.

I can figure that out on my own.

I know what you're thinking!

He thinks your "baby doll" is out of your control

and riding in someone else's car.

- Am I right? - Yes.

Am I right?

You're wrong, sage.

I don't have a baby doll.

Sage...

You've said that to many others.

Just get to the point already.

You drink?

You can order some, sage.

You fool, this is not a bar.

I'm just asking, do you drink alcohol?

Sage, he drinks so much that he doesn't even ask

- for water when he sees a bottle. - Yes.

Why is that?

Because his mouth waters when he sees alcohol.

Speaking of water, you have a big face.

Do you soak it in water every night?

You're making jokes with a sage!

- Please forgive me. - You ugly face...

Tell me what your problem is.

Sage... I can see ghosts.

I can see them too. What else?

Sage, there's a family of ghosts living in my house.

They have control over me.

They said they'll drag me back if I try to leave.

Please help me, sage.

Please save me.

They said they won't let me leave until they get what they want.

- Wait a minute. - Please save me, sage.

I'll save you.

Just arrange for some alcohol for the evening.

- Done! - Done, sage!

- Consider it done! - Consider it done, sage!

Alright then, let's go.

- He agreed! - Praise the sage!

Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!

- You scared me! - I was just praising you!

Hand over that female ghost to me and I'll handle it.

Sage, she's a ghost, not my aunt.

Look over here, sage, this is where the ghost family stays.

I'll lock them up in this bottle.

Don't joke, sage.

One of them is a woman.

There's no way she'll fit in this tiny bottle.

Sage, he can see ghosts.

He has seen that woman. He told me all about her.

And other women go like this and then like this, slightly like this.

She's quite chubby. She goes like this and then like this!

She's even slapped me.

She has big hands, sage.

They're even bigger than your face.

Keep quiet, you stick face.

Dheera, did you tell him that?

I didn't need to tell him. He can see it.

Mummy!!

No! No! No!

I don't think so.

Come on, Chaudhary, stop scaring us to death.

No, I felt like someone was peeping outside.

You lead the way. We'll go and talk to them.

I'm not leading the way, sage.

I've been slapped and thrashed by them.

Their son bites my ears.

You stay with them.

You lead the way. We'll go talk to them.

I stay with them, but I can't capture them.

If I could, I wouldn't have brought you along.

You're here to do just that and not to get mangoes.

Ambh means mango.

We can talk about mangoes later.

First, let's go and talk to them.

Mr. Bappi Lahri, you need to lead the way.

Come along.

Come on, come on.

Let's go.

NO!!!

- Come on, come on, let's go inside. - Mummy!

Lead the way, sage.

You are the one who is going to capture those ghosts.

Why does he even call himself a sage?

This way, this way.

This is the room.

Come along, bro. This is your house, after all.

Go, go.

Run!

Behind you!

Run!

Please forgive me, Sister.

Please forgive me.

I told you not to mess with me.

Not to make any mistakes.

You didn't listen to me, did you?

You never listen!

- If you even try to make another mistake... - No, I won't.

I'll end your life!

Please forgive me!

You're so naughty! You're so naughty!

If you're not interested in talking to me, I can leave.

- Dheera! - Huh?

I'm leaving.

No.

Don't leave, Roop.

Sit down.

Why should I?

I'm wasting my time and yours as well.

I don't even know where to begin.

I want to talk to you, but...

Dheera, you don't look good when you're lying.

Tell me the truth. What's bothering you?

I wanted to ask you something.

Hmm?

Go ahead, ask.

Do ghosts exist?

No. But why do you ask that?

For no reason. Just curious. I haven't seen any either.

I just asked if you have.

Well, you can see some this time.

I'll take you to a Halloween fair.

It's a ghost fair.

People do ghost dance there.

Ghost dance?!

It's a lot of fun.

Everyone dresses up as ghosts.

There are even colorful witches attending.

They have big nails and...

'I'm not going to that fair!'

Mr. Chaudhary...

You almost took my life!

Do you even have any live left in you, seriously?

Doesn't seem like it.

I am not a crochet doll, bro.

You should've given me the heads up that you were leaving.

I didn't just leave, I freaking ran away from there!

If I hadn't run, I wouldn't be able to walk either.

This is all Kaala's fault.

It's nobody's fault, not Kaala's, not yours.

This is on me!

Why the hell did I go to your place?

I warned you a million times that Kaala from SoHo road is a scammer,

but you never listen to anyone, do you?

I'll fix Kaala's messed up brain.

Yeah right, like you can when you can't even fix a dripping faucet at home.

Just go home.

My home?

Not yours.

May God send never send anyone there.

Go to my place.

Do you even know where my house is?

No, Mr. Chaudhary.

You really don't have a brain, do you?

Go straight.

Take a right.

Then a left.

Don't get lost. Go straight to my house.

Alright, Mr. Chaudhary. I'm leaving.

I tried to make him understand, but it seems like he just didn't get it.

Bro, help me find a girl to settle down with.

She's got to be gorgeous.

I could totally arrange a marriage with Sonam Bajwa for a hundred pounds!

Get lost! I'll give you a shout if I come across someone.

You'll let me know, bro, won't you?

Chaudhary and his weird directions!

Where to, little brother? Even when I am here?

I'll fix Chaudhary's leaking faucet later!

Let me fix you first! Kaala, you cheat!

How dare you hand me over to ghosts!

Wait, I'll break your skull open.

- He found out about the ghosts! - Where are you running off to?

You handed me over to ghosts! You are going to hell for this!

Wait, where do you think you are going?

Wait! I'll teach you a lesson! Stop! Listen to me!

I'll kill you, Kaala!

- Wait! Kaala! - Don't create a scene!

- Wait! Kaala! - Stop! Just hear me out!

Stop right there or I'll stab this screwdriver into our head.

No, Dheera. You'll end up hurting me.

Don't be crazy. The law here are very strict.

Don't get yourself behind bars!

Think careful.

You should take advantage of your divine superpowers.

You should befriend the ghosts and start a business.

You will make a lot of money.

I'll make sure you get to stay here permanently.

Calm down and think about it.

It will benefit you. You will be able to stay here permanently.

It will benefit you. I am not lying to you.

Give it a thought.

Run, Kaala!

Business?

He is advising me to cheat as well.

No wonder he is called Kaala, the cheat.

He will never mend his ways.

Welcome, Uncle. Welcome home.

We are your family-like ghosts.

Come on in, Uncle. Come in.

- Steve... - Hmm?

I have no clue about your game,

but I'm pretty confident I can still take out your king.

If you had challenged me to a game of marbles, I could show you how to aim.

Dheera...

Tea and refreshment.

I don't want anything.

I'm exhausted. I want to sleep.

I am not offering you any.

I am telling you or rather I am ordering you.

Go get tea for me and hot water for Steve.

Hmm.

Wait.

Let it be.

You cannot be trusted.

What if you poison my tea?

I'm make it on my own.

Get lost now.

Go, go, go.

Oh Mom, we are already dead.

Shit.

I remember everything else.

I don't know why I keep forgetting that.

Make sure the boys reach the site on time in the morning.

Contractor?

- Yeah? - Isn't that Kaala, the cheat?

Here's the payment. This will be my last installment.

Yes, that's him.

Let's teach him a lesson.

Let's go.

I'll do your job, little brother.

You pay is so low that even your kids will end up paying the installments, alright?

- What's going on? - Hello?

Rangeela is a chart topper these days.

We aren't talking about singers.

We are talking about what's going on over here.

I think you need glasses.

This is business talk.

I am just accepting a payment.

Our eyes might be weak, but we can spot a con from a distance.

Excuse me!

Who are you calling a con, huh?

You! Why?

Just confirming!

I'm just making a payment, sir.

Just leave. We are taking over this conversation.

I've paid him.

Little brother, you should leave.

- I'm about to take over them. - Okay.

So, what's your problem, huh?

Do you want to become a champion in conning people?

Let me tell you for your general knowledge that I am already a champion.

- Listen carefully, Kaala... - Hmm?

You should leave this area

before I destroy the champion and the championship.

Should I take this as a threat?

- Yes! - Yes!

Just confirm.

What does this mean?

I won't do any business in this area anymore.

Get lost, you!

What is it, son?

What are you staring at?

Mom, I see that we are better off dead.

Huh?

Why so?

Whenever we look at him, he's catching up on his sleep.

Mom, people are so strange when they are alive.

They have no peace in their life.

Yes.

That's why they said that death completes you.

What about us, Mom?

Death didn't complete us.

If God will,

we will find our completeness soon enough, son.

Guddi...

Yes, Mom?

Call Dheera, dear. I want to talk to him.

Just a minute.

- It's connected, Mom. - Okay.

Greetings, Mom.

Greetings, son. How are you?

Let me...

I'm fine, Mom. How are you doing?

Yes, I am doing fine.

- Mom, let me... - Here, talk to Guddi.

- She is trying to take the phone away from me. - Give it to her.

Greetings, Brother. How are you?

Greetings, Sister. Greetings. Are you okay?

Yes, I am fine.

But you seem to have completely forgotten about me.

No, Sister.

How can anyone ever forget his sister?

I was just busy with work.

How's college?

My college's just as it was, but I'm doing well in my studies.

You remember we celebrate Raksha Bandhan next week?

Send me your address. I'll send you a Rakhi.

How do I say this to you that your Rakhi won't reach where I stay?

Hello, Brother? I can't hear you.

It's okay. You can tie me one when I come there.

Keep it safe with you, Sister.

Now tell me, what should I get for you?

No, I don't want anything.

I just want you back.

Come on, tell me.

Who will you ask for things if not your brother, huh?

Come on tell me, what should I get for you?

I actually don't need anything, but if you insist...

Then get me an IPhone, the latest model, okay?

Okay, I'll get you an IPhone.

- Bye, Brother. - Bye.

What's wrong, Dheera?

Look, we won't fight anymore.

Stupid boy.

You shouldn't do that.

If you don't mind,

I'll take you a Rakhi.

If you really consider me as your brother,

then tell me what you want.

I'll try my best to give you want you want.

I'll do my best as your brother.

I have no problem staying with you.

But from the day I learnt about this,

I stay worried.

Tell me about yourself, my sister.

What happened to all of you?

How did you end up here?

And why couldn't you leave?

Brother, around 100 years ago when the British ruled over us...

Steve was an ardent writer.

Steve was writing a book on our freedom fighters.

Okay.

He wanted to meet Bhagat Singh to write its last chapter.

He was a foodie.

He loved Punjabi food.

I cooked for him...

I don't know what he saw in me that he decided to marry me.

Okay.

Then we had a son.

When our son grew up a little,

Steve took us to England for a trip.

He loved to give surprises.

He brought home a new stove one night

and told me he'd teach me how to use it in the morning.

"You can cook on it going forward."

He loved the food I cooked.

I like a fool, got up in the morning and decided to surprise him instead.

I tried to use the stove...

And I don't know what went wrong.

Everything caught fire.

I started screaming.

Both of them came to the kitchen running.

They tried to save me, but...

They couldn't do anything.

We got trapped in that.

All three of us...

We burned to ashes.

We lost everything.

We are trapped in this house ever since then.

The doors opened for you,

but we cannot leave this house.

Our souls are wandering in this house.

All the people who came here before you...

None of them stayed here for more than two days.

We were waiting for a soul who would pray for us...

And help us be free of these walls.

Someone who could take us back to our country.

This is what we want.

Sister, tell me, what can I do for you?

Take us to Punjab.

Only you can do that, Uncle.

Yes.

Nephew, then your uncle promises you,

that I'll take you to Punjab

and also pray to God for your salvation.

God bless you, my brother.

Now can I tie a Rakhi to you?

Yes, Sister.

Please tie the Rakhi.

But I have a condition.

What is your condition?

I want a gift in return.

Of course, I'll give you anything you ask for.

Tell me, what do you want?

If I take you a Rakhi,

you will have to stop drinking.

When parents send their children abroad to earn,

they want them to do well for themselves.

They face a lot of hardships to send you here.

They sell or mortgage their land to send them abroad.

But many like you who come here,

waste their time and money on drinks and merriment.

Promise me...

you won't even touch alcohol anymore.

Only then will I tie you a Rakhi.

Today, a brother promises his sister...

I will never drink alcohol again.

I promise you.

Life long. God bless you, my brother.

Okay then let's get ready to leave.

Okay then, let's get ready to go to Punjab.

Hurry up, everyone.

What is it?

You didn't say greetings or hi today.

I'm leaving UK.

What do you mean?

I mean I am going back to India.

Why?

Well, I have my reasons.

If you leave without getting residency, you will never be able to return.

I cannot help it, Roop.

I don't have money to give you.

Neither can we get married money nor can I stay here permanently.

That's why I came here to meet you one last time.

You want to leave?

Then go!

LEAVE!

Go away!

GO!

And what if I want to stop you?

Sorry Roop, I really don't have any money to give you.

I don't want the money, I want you, Dheera.

I love you, Dheera.

Can I say something?

I've saved all the money you have given me so far.

You are the only one I feel close to in this cruel world.

So how can I let you go?

Am I dreaming?

No, Dheera.

This isn't a dream. This is real.

We'll go to India and get married in Punjab.

Really, Roop?

Will you marry me, Dheera?

You really want to marry me?

- That too in Punjab? - Yes.

What would be better than that?

Love you, Roop. Love you.

Love you. Love you, Dheera.

"The dream I had when I was half asleep..."

"That dream has come true."

"The one I had some right over..."

"Now I have complete right over here."

"Dream birds..."

"They broke their cage and flew away."

"Dream birds..."

"They broke their cage."

"All my wishes have come true."

"The dream I had when I was half asleep..."

"That dream has come true."

"I belong to you."

"My love, I now belong to you."

"You are my destiny..."

"It just took me some time to realize that."

"We came together for a reason."

"I am sure faith has planned something special for us."

"Now our hearts are as close as the sky is away from the ground."

"I don't like being away from you."

"I need your company."

"I don't like being away from you."

"I need your company."

"From the time I saw you."

"I belong to you."

"My love, I now belong to you."

"You are my destiny..."

"It just took me some time to realize that."

We need to deduct 9 pounds from Gogga's wages.

Yesterday, he took a water break that lasted 45 minutes.

I have noted everything down.

Look Dheera too is here.

Dheera, you are late for work again today.

That is why it's tough for people like you to fully pay off their parents'

loan and reclaim their land.

I came here to discuss something very important.

What is it?

I am going back to Punjab.

Huh?

You think that's important?

For people like you first it is important to go to England

and then it's important to go back to Punjab.

Bro, it's not as important as you are making it to be.

You barely started working here.

You have even paid a girl to stay here permanently.

That is all fine.

She's in love with me.

In fact, she is the one who said we'd get married in Punjab.

I just need four brothers like you to dance at my wedding.

We'll dance at your wedding.

Don't you worry about it when I am here.

I don't care if you dance or not, but never said "when I am here" again.

Oh, he's getting emotional over it.

But we will dance, won't we?

Of course, we will.

Perfect.

Contractor used to be the captain of dance team for a couple of days.

Go for it.

Come on, boys.

He stayed out for 12 years...

He stayed out for 12 years...

He brought back seed.

We are so happy that our brother Dheera is getting married.

We are so happy that our brother is getting married.

We are so happy that our brother is getting married.

Huh?

He's walking straight today.

Am I not drunk enough?

How are you, partner?

You look happy.

Looks like you made a killer wager today.

They have started paying less than they used to.

But your brother has earned some respect.

Little brother, the level of respect you get can go up and down,

but your bank balance should always go up.

That is only how you get to stay here permanently.

I've already taken care of that part.

I'm all set to leave for Punjab.

Tell me if you want to send anything to your family.

I'll use that as an excuse to visit your hometown.

I don't want to send anything with you, little brother.

But when are you leaving?

In a couple of days.

Little brother, luck are those who get to go home so soon.

People increase their bank balance...

They even buy big houses here.

But don't go get to go back home in the end.

Forget that...

All the best.

- Bye, bro. See you later. - Bye.

- What is it? - Sister, now your brother has nothing

to worry about.

Now your brother can freely go to Punjab

and come back whenever he wants.

Amazing!

Well done, my boy.

Congratulations, Brother.

But there is a small issue.

You are such a fool.

On one hand you say have nothing to worry about anymore,

and on the other hand you say there is a small issue.

My girl cannot come here.

But the good news is that she will fly to Punjab with us.

Amazing!

Look Brother,

we just want to shower her with our love and good wishes,

and we can do that in Punjab as well.

Congratulations, Brother.

Now you just need to get ready to leave for Punjab.

Okay, you book our buses tickets.

What are you saying, Brother?

You no longer need to take a bus to go to Punjab.

Now you fly to Punjab.

Okay, then book our flight tickets.

Uncle, book my ticket as well, if planes are safe to travel in.

Why do you guys need tickets?

You guys can travel in a suitcase.

No, Brother.

I won't travel in a suitcase.

I'll feel suffocated in it and die.

Mom, we're already dead.

I'll always forget that.

Just remember that we are leaving before he backs out.

Who's calling me now?

Hello.

Where are you, Dheera?

I'm just leaving. I'm just leaving.

You still haven't left?

I'm waiting at the airport parking. You will miss your flight.

- Yes, yes, I'm coming. - Hurry up and leave right away.

I'm coming, Roop. I'm coming.

How about walking towards me for a change, huh?

You always scare me by appearing out of thin air.

Don't act smart.

This is something we learnt from you.

This is the first time ghosts are scared of humans.

What did I do to scare you?

I see! Like you didn't do anything!

You don't do anything intentionally. It just happens.

Don't waste time. We're running late. Let's go quickly.

We have a plane to catch.

Get in everyone.

Come on, hurry up. Get in already.

Get in.

I'll be right back.

Do you need to relieve yourself again?

Let him go or I'll create a mess.

Let's go, let's go.

How are you, partner? Why the sad face?

I'm going to Punjab,

I'm not dying that I won't see you again.

Dheera, it feels like it's easier for me to meet the dead

than to meet your fellow countrymen.

What do you mean?

There is something I need to talk to you about.

What is it?

Take this serious.

Brother, I too am a ghost.

I have been dead for 7-8 years now.

Oh no, Pamma, why do you start drinking so early in the morning?

You would be able to disappear at will if you were a ghost.

Okay, bro.

Give me a high-five. Come on.

Mummy! Why does it seem like everyone I meet ends up being a ghost?

Don't be scared, Dheera.

You have some divine superpowers that helps you talk to the dead.

Why otherwise do you think

those who don't belong to this world

or to God end up being around you?

Now what is your back-story?

Dheera, this is the story of millions who leave their country to settle abroad.

They leave their country but never return.

I came here 30 years ago.

I worked hard, made a lot of money.

Only I or this bottle knows when Pamma a villager,

became Pamma Englandiya and then Pamma the drunkard.

Alcohol got me killed.

You are the only one who can help me attain salvation.

Dheera, please take me to Punjab with you.

I too will find salvation.

Of course I can take you along,

but I already have three souls traveling in my suitcase.

The only vacant spot I have is this pocket of mine.

I'll fold my legs and stay there, bro.

You'll be able to boost in Punjab that...

You have people like Pamma Englandiya in your pocket.

Stop joking and let's go.

Oh no, I cannot even grab your arm!

Dheera...

You are a very nice man.

I'll pray that you don't become a ghost after you die.

Let me have one last sip before I leave.

I'll drop drinking once I get to Punjab.

Beautiful.

Get in on your own.

You won't get a grand welcome.

Really, Uncle?

Roop, this is our house.

- Very nice. - Come on.

Mom, what happens next?

Next? Dheera will get married then he'll regret it for the rest of his life.

Then?

Then what?

We are here only to dance.

Come on, let's get started. To the beat.

Come on.

Steve, come.

Dance, my son.

Brother?

Mom, brother is here.

Dheera!

He brought his "setting" with him!

What's a setting?

Why do you need to know everything right away?

How about we discuss some things after we get married?

My brother is back!

You look great! Tell me something,

you always sent pictures of foreigners

How come your would-be wife is local?

She is not a local.

She is fluent in English

and she knows everything about Punjab culture.

I seek your blessings, Mom. I seek your blessings, Dad.

Greetings.

Everyone in the family has a phone but none of you answers it.

If I hadn't found them, they would have kept waiting near the fields.

Why do you even bother having phones!

Well said, Uncle. Well said.

Do you agree, Dad.

I have no choice.

This is the first time you have done anything right.

I still only half way there. I still have to cover the other half.

Don't you dare ask for more money!

I won't, Mom. I have money.

You just need to get me married to Roop.

Oh, my God! You kidnapped her?

Kidnapped?

You never let me finish, Mom.

I didn't kidnap her.

She came with me willingly... all the way from England.

Moreover, how can I get married without your permission?

Oh my king of the world!

Your king of the world is fooling us.

How?

We'll have to spend some money to get him married as well.

It won't happen free of cost, right?

Stop cribbing about the money, Dad.

I came from England and not Uganda.

I have enough money.

And I also have a sponsor from UK.

Then should we book Rangeela?

Of course!

Call the headman and book a wedding palace!

Consider it done.

"Bollywood copies me."

"I have expunged distances."

"I have..."

"I have set trends."

"I have set trends on Instagram reels."

"I have set trends."

"I have set trends on Instagram reels."

"On Instagram reels."

"Girls keeps a heartbeat... when I twist my moustache."

"Hey girl..."

"Hey girl, your boy is followed by the youth."

"Hey girl, your boy is followed by the youth."

"Anything I wear becomes trendy."

"My hair extensions become the talk of the town."

"Anything I wear becomes trendy."

"My hair extensions become the talk of the town."

"My hair extensions..."

"Your gait... is compared to the curves of a river."

"I have..."

"I have set trends..."

"I have set trends on Instagram reels."

"I have set trends..."

"I have set trends on Instagram reels."

"Whenever I drive to the city, I get saluted by one and all."

"I get saluted by one and all."

"Whenever I drive to the city, I get saluted by one and all."

"The poem you wrote for me..."

"All eyes are on it now."

"Hey girl..."

"Hey girl, your boy is followed by the youth."

"Hey girl, your boy is followed by the youth."

"I have set trends on Instagram reels."

"Hey girl, your boy is followed by the youth."

What are we doing here, Dheera?

Aren't we supposed to go to the Gurudwara?

We are, but before we head there,

I need to fulfill your wish and the wishes of these passengers.

Passengers?

It's just the two of us in here.

Oh sorry, look over there.

That's Shaheed-E-Azam Sardar Bhagat Singh Singh's village Khatkar Kalan.

Wow!

Dheera, you know,

my grandfather used to tell me stories about Bhagat Singh.

Really?

Thank you for bringing me here, Dheera.

Come on then, let me show you around Bhagat Singh's village.

Let me record this.

Huh?

Where did they go?

I thought you got out on the way.

Why would we get out on the way?

It's not like our aunt's village falls on the way here.

I cannot believe it.

I cannot believe it either. Too much hot today.

Mom, Punjab is so beautiful, isn't it?

Hmm.

Son, this is land of Gurus, Peers and warriors.

Yes.

It is beautiful and heavenly.

Yes.

Come on then, let's go.

It feels so nice to be here.

I'm just thinking...

Our freedom fighters

gave up their lives to liberate our country from foreign control.

But now, it seems like everyone in this country wants to settle abroad.

They feel happy and proud spending their lives there,

in confined in a sugarcoated prison.

Thank you so much for honoring your promise you made when I tied you that Rakhi.

To be honest, today, after coming here with you, we finally feel free.

I know people have to leave their homes to make a leaving.

But you can get salvation only after you come back to your country.

I will always regret...

that I couldn't come back to my country while I was still alive.

Today, I feel as if my book is finally complete.

Thanks, Dheera, for helping us attain salvation.

Take care, Uncle.

Aunty looks a little cruel.

Hey... Don't get me into trouble.

Goodbye, Dheera.

See you in next life.

See you soon.

We'll surely meet up with some excuse or the other.

Hey...

You too, Pamma?

Goodbye, Brother.

We too will get going now.

Thank you very much.

May God bless you with a lot of success.

May you always do well.

May God bless you with all the happiness in the world.

Goodbye.

Dheera?

Dheera!

What's wrong?

Why do you look so scared? Did you see a ghost or what?

I am no longer scared of any ghosts.

Then whom were you talking to?

You fool, I talk to you whether or not you are near me.

Who else will I talk to, huh?

Oh really?

Let's go.

Where to?

To the Gurudwara. Where else will we go?

- Let's go. - Don't be stupid. Come on.

You must be wondering what happened next, right?

Dheera became permanent just like a brick on a wall...

In UK, of course!

As far as that house is concerned, now I have complete control over it.

And that house is still haunted for others.

But for us, it is our palace.

And yes, I no longer work as a daily wager.

I run my own business.

I help ghosts attain salvation.

I have kept Kaala the cheat as my partner,

because no one can market our business better than him.

Remember that. See you at the ghost fair...

I mean the Halloween!

Bye-bye. Greetings.