Original subtitles

You mind?

Thanks.

Oh, strong ones, huh?

I bet you think I'm a lunatic.

I'm not.

It's only -

- we all have our dreams.

Right.

But then things take off, and ...

Kirk to Entenprise.

Just beam me up.

There's no intelligent life on this planet.

Come here.

Say ...

Can't you play normal, like other kids?

Never mind. I'll reprogram it in no time.

We're anyway leaving.

Some more?

No, thanks. That's very kind of you, but -

- actually, I have to ...

Right! We also have to ...

Please.

Great place, isn't it?

You bet, Mrs. Krkal.

Krcal.

After you.

Look, Mrs. Krcal, personally ...

I feel a house is the center of life -

- the source of our satisfaction.

You can read it all in here.

Thanks.

We'll talk it over.

Sure.

Well then ...

Thank you. - You're welcome.

Come on.

Can't you say good bye?

Die, Klingon!

You too!

Hey, you!

Aren't you the guy selling homes for life?

How long's that exactly?

Forever.

If you take care.

What'll it cost me?

1-6-2-2-6-5-0.

How many weeks allowance is that?

Depends on the allowance.

How much does Dad get?

Not enough.

Unfortunately.

Guess we saw it again, huh?

Can't you please stop that?

What?

That grunting.

Hey, Meier!

Yeah?

- my cellar steps this weekend.

You got time? - No .

My kid's getting christened.

And afterwards?

Don't remind me.

My old lady's wacky.

Invited all the relatives.

You got to keep me company.

Krcal here.

Hello.

Not good. I'm not in my off ice yet.

Sure. Two minutes.

Thanks. Bye.

Good afternoon.

Afternoon.

Did you finally buy the house?

Not yet.

You waiting for a sale?

May I?

Mr. Meier, did the boss tell you that the caviar -

- has to be in parliament by 3?

We know.

No shit.

Just look at that cardboard shack.

I bet it costs -

- 3 million.

What? No.

It's only 1,6.

And where you gonna put it?

Lot, cellar -

- 3 million easy.

3? 3 and a half, minimum.

You know what?

If you're smart, look for an old house and fix it up.

You should see my ranch.

I started 5 years ago, and its almost done.

Cost me 1.3.

Good for you.

Hello, Mrs. Knackal.

But my prefab is built in a day.

And how long's it gonna hold up?

Bounced each brick myself at least 5 times.

More often than your old lady, I bet.

You don't like jokes?

Sure.

If they have class.

Don't forget the caviar.

Sure thing.

Where'd you say your house was?

Just a second.

Krcal here.

I'm not in my office yet.

Kirk to Entenprise. Entenprise come in.

Please beam me up the hill.

Lousy weather this summer.

Philipp, give me the phone, please.

O.K.

Look, Margit. Here it is.

There.

Meier's house.

The red one with the little roof -

- is Sepp Forstinger's.

Great place, isn't it?

I don't know.

Maybe we should look -

- for a little house to fix up?

Daddy, I have to pee.

Go ahead.

You're old enough.

I'm worried, Herbert.

I don't want to end up like those people.

They start building a house at 28, and at 45 they're still at it -

- and on each others nerves.

Sure, sweety. We don't want that.

But we'll need -

- 1 and a half million for a cardboard house -

- and altogether it comes to 3, 4, 5 million.

Mom! Dad! Come, hurry!

Can't he pee normal like everybode else?

What's the matter?

Look! It's a dream.

How sweet.

This must be fate.

You're corny, Dad.

Come on.

Daddy -

- is that a haunted house?

No -

- this is a house for life.

What do you think?

No shit.

Was on sale.

Not expensive. - Super! Could use one, too.

You don't even have a garden yet.

prophyclactic?

Shit!

Hello!

I hope this isn't inconvenient. We just happened -

- to pass by.

Great caviar, huh?

They weren't too hungry in parliament, you know.

Me, I don't like it anyway!

And I don't really care.

This is my wife, Margit. Come here.

Hi, gorgeous!

Hello.

This is Mr. Meier. We work together.

Mr. Forstinger, we work together, too.

Can't you say hello?

Hi.

Can I offer something?

Maybe some caviar?

Something wrong?

Should there be?

Hi. I'm Silvia Meier.

Krcal. Hello.

Right. My worse half.

Pretty funny.

Are you wacky?

The ittle monkey's been yelling since he got water over his head.

You mind looking after your kid?

It's yours, too. Sadly enough.

There's someone nude in the garden! - Don't touch him!

What a nice vegetable patch. - Yeah.

You, too? - Not yet.

Hey, I don't pay for watching.

slow digging 30 shillngs an hour.

So, what do you say?

This is what I callliving.

It's a huge house.

I wanted to ask you ... are you busy now?

I'd love to show you something.

Let's go in.

O.K. No, wait a minute ...

Safety door, huh?

I'm not sure that was smart ...

It's O.K.

My house was in worse shape.

I'd move in in 2 months, if I wanted.

Sure. It's not -

- so bad, is it?

Well, it won't pass the elk test.

Got a beer at home?

Mr. Forstinger -

- I don't live here yet.

Well, no shit.

Needs cleaning out first.

A job for the old lady.

You want to build, too? - Not exactly. We'd rather have -

A prefab. But -

- the money and so...

Forget it.

I barf just by the mention of "money".

What?

I vomit.

What a shame.

A garden's great for kids.

Why don't you fix up -

- your own little house?

Look, Mom!

Philipp, are you crazy?

Why? The phaser was only set on sedation.

But basically -

- it could be fixed up.

Well ...

Right.

What should it cost, approximately?

400.

At the max.

Maximally max ...

Who owns this shack? - Don't know.

Hey!

Riding by my house like that!

It's not your house yet.

But it's going to be.

Well, then ...

I'm Herbert.

Andy.

I'm Sepp.

We know.

O.K. Herbert. Let's go down to the village pub.

They'll know who owns it. And then we'll buy it.

O.K.

No, wait a minute. Is that a good idea?

Pub's always a good idea.

No. I'd rather do it tomorrow.

Kirk to Entenpr ise. We've landed on a hostile planet.

Kirk, over and out.

Hi, little girl.

Oh, hello there.

Could you tell me -

Up on the hill is a little house -

- with blue windows.

I've never been that far.

Then you don't know if it's for sale?

Wait! Who'd know?

The mayor would know. Mr. Kandler.

He's just having lunch over there.

Right.

It's anyway Kandlers house.

But I never said so, O.K.?

Wait ...

Die, Klingon!

Mommy, she hit me right on the nose.

Why can't you play normal, like other kids?

I don't believe it.

The owner's in the pub. Let's go.

You go. We'll wait.

O.K. Give me the phone. - No!

Franz finally found the deer he wounded two weeks ago.

It stank like the plague.

Don't you joke about the plague.

Not here.

Excuse me.

I'm from Vienna ...

Go on playing.

Don't mind me.

Excuse me, I'm -

- lookin for the ... - mayor.

Lord Mayor!

Right.

He's already waiting for you in the other room.

Come along.

Thanks.

I've set up a preliminary contract.

Sure.

Mr. Kandler -

Good day.

It's "Gr A. Gott".

Of course. Gr A. Gott.

Mister ... - Krcal.

This is Mr. Mandl.

Gr A. Gott.

Pleasure. - Me, too.

Say, Krcal?

You're not a foreigner, are you?

I mean, I saw right out that you're no nigger.

You want to buy my house?

Right, well ...

Yes. Basically yes.

Then sit down.

It's like this. We're sort of interested.

Actually we're -

- thrilled.

My wife and I found it when we went hiking, and it's -

-like a dream. Really. Great place.

Hard to find one like it nowadays.

What did you have in mind, financially?

Around 300.

350.

Mr. Krcal is also interested -

- in the house.

Why "also"?

Mr. Mandl and I've been negotiating for months.

And he just made me a tempting offer.

I understand.

And we just wanted to settle it. - Right.

Well then ...

I'll have to talk to my wife.

Do that.

Mandl, do you have a pen for the contract?

Wait!

Do you have a phone?

We do.

Thanks.

She hit me smack in the nose.

I bet it wasn't on purpose.

It was.

Come on!

Honey, please!

Nobody home?

Unfortunately.

Tough luck.

400.000. Not a penny more.

O.K.

400.000.

Deal closed!

Sorry, Mr. Mandl.

But I can't turn down -

- such an offer.

It's allright.

Tough luck.

Could I now have my ...

Bye, Mr. Mandl!

I'm sorry, Mr. Mandl.

I understand how you must feel.

But the building loan allows me more flexibility.

Thanks.

Got a pen for the contract?

Sure. Here.

It still hurts, Mom.

Dad'll come soon. I hope.

Gr A. Gott, Mr. Krcal.

Please, Mr. Krcal.

Finally!

Sorry it took so long. Couldn't help it, 'cause he -

- where were you when I called?

We should at least have -

- asked Willi first. - Listen ...

We do have an architect in our family.

Not in our family. In yours.

I've thought it through.

The building loan covers almost 440.000.

And we still could ...

No way.

We're not touching Philipp's savings book.

No parking space. Darn!

That's his starting capital. You said -

- his ticket to the top.

Your own words. Remember?

I said that?

I never get that corny.

Jesus! We're circling like Sputnik here.

I'll drive up to the next district. Maybe there I'll find a space.

When I'm grown -

- I'll anyway be captain of the Entenprise.

I don't care about my savings book.

See? He doesn't care.

But I do.

Besides, most of it's my parents' money.

And I'll have to find a way to tell them -

- that we bought a house in the pits.

Vienna, that's the pits!

And we live right smack in the middle.

Right there, where it's the smelliest.

Close the window.

Time for bed.

We'll make it.

Have to.

Hinterholz is my only chance.

Even if it means taking up an extra loan.

You think we're doing the right thing?

What if something happens?

What could happen?

If anything happens to you -

- I'll be all alone with Philipp.

Something happens to me, you're still alone with him.

What's that got to do with a loan?

I'm sure we'll find a way.

Since your building loan isn't mature yet -

- I'd say we help you out with an interim loan.

Let's check that out.

As far as I remember, you can scrape up 9.000 a month -

- if you don't mind my saying that.

So let's round it off to 10.000.

It's easier for the computer that way.

With a 15-year term -

- we'd have 840.000 to work with.

Of course you have fixed costs like property tax, credit tax -

- notary public bills, life insurance -

- so that we should consider -

- adding 10%.

Which brings us to monthly payments of -

- something like 11.700.

In any case, we should -

- ask for a rebuilding loan. That's long-term and semi-yearly.

Meaning no monthly payments in that sense.

Mr. Krcal, please -

- sign here.

Could I just ask something?

Mrs. Krcal, just consider -

- a loan as a way of saving. Only that -

- you cash in now, not in 20 years.

Welcome to the club.

Time to swing the axe.

I'lend you some tools, if you want.

I've got my own.

Super!

What's this?

0.4 grams?

Let the old lady have it for the kitchen -

- for cracking lentils.

Come on.

I'll show you something.

How's that?

Well, I won't need all that.

Sure. That's just the basics.

O.K. Then I'll take ... but what?

Hold it! Can't take any of these. I need them.

You'll get a shovel, a howe, and a wheelcart.

Glad to be rid of that junk.

You'll see ...

With everybody lending a hand, you'll move in in 6 weeks.

Right.

I wanted to ask you, how about this weekend?

Not good.

We're out of order then.

Hey, stay in line!

I just want to get to my apartment.

There's no apartment. Just the doctor's office.

I'll be glad when that's over.

What's over when? How dare you?

What's the problem?

She's pressing ahead.

Do you always have to shop during my office hours?

Can't you wait?

You know something?

In a few weeks I'll go shopping whenever I want.

We bought a villa in the country.

Wait!

That means you're moving out?

It sure is muddy.

Right. We'll have an asphalt road laid first thing.

Hurry!

Kirk to Entenprise. Entenprise, come in.

Give me the phone, Philipp.

Come, give me a hand.

Can I search the planet for intelligent life?

Sure, but you won't find any.

Don't scratch the new lacquer with your dirty jacket.

I told you a hundred times, that's like sandpaper.

Go search the planet, please.

Could be worse.

Hey, wait!

Stop!

Here, boy!

That stupid biking's got to stop here and now.

Sweetie, coffee's ready.

It's getting cozy here.

Isn't it?

Sugar's in the cupboard.

You're a sweetheart.

I left the "House Beautiful" magazine behind.

What?

"House Beautiful".

What do we need that for?

To see what we need for the house.

We need a magazine for that?

All I need is a kitchen.

And a toilet for processing.

I wondered -

- where's the toilet going to be?

Well.

It's going to be - it'll be inside.

I'll have to ask ...

I have to ask Meier for tips.

If you get your tips from Meier, you'll call me "Old Lady" before long.

Come on, honey pie. What do you take me for?

I'll get the magazine.

Nice.

My house.

Gr A. Gott!

In the name of the community.

I'm the mayor. Kandler's the name.

Pleasure.

The boss around?

Yes.

Come on in.

Don't want to get dirty.

Gr A. Gott.

Sorry, the dust here's the plague.

What?

The dust.

I just wanted to check on the new Hinterholzers.

Can I offer you something?

Don't want to interrupt your work.

Nice here.

I wanted to ask you.

Does the house have a cellar?

Never had one.

We thought of putting a sauna, or ...

Forget the cellar.

Digging's not allowed here.

Who cares. We'll sweat somewhere else.

If I hadn't accidentally found out ...

Honestly, doctor, I have to tell you Mr. Krcal only told us last week.

When are they moving?

In 4 weeks, I think.

Good.

The apartment's perfect for enlarging my office.

But the Krcals have the option to ...

I'm sure you'll find a way.

It's getting there.

Well ...

It's a little dreary.

Now. But in the summer, with the pool here ...

Daddy -

- it's so boring out here. Are we staying long?

If you're bored, help Mom.

Watch the fire.

There's enough to do.

I'll f ix us some food. A can of soup.

Great!

I'll check what needs replacing.

Oh ... plenty.

Let's see ...

Ladies and gentlemen, here in Hornberg -

- it's come to first conflicts between villagers and journalists.

What seems to be the problem, Mayor?

Shut up.

We want our peace, and no TV punks.

How about the accusations of fraud -

- regarding your property sales?

Fuck you.

It's nobody's business to whom I sell.

And if the EC cancels the funds -

Mommy, mommy, I got electrocuted!

Can't you play normal, like other children?

No.

Herbert, the cooker's dead. Do we have a short?

What's on?

Oh ... nothing.

That was the fuse. Hold that.

I'll fix that in a jiffy.

Take care, sweetie.

Technically you're like a newborn.

That's the bad one. Mark it.

There, now.

Great. Soup's done in a minute.

Why's that hillbilly music on so loud?

Oh, no. He's scribbling on the walls.

How are we going to wallpaper? Just so I can match the curtains.

Textured, I guess.

That's fairly neutral.

The walls aren't bad. Might have to scrape them off.

Sweetie, look!

I think we have another short.

Didn't you see me light up?

I don't believe it.

Stay away from the walls. Get away!

That's not really a solution.

There must be a blank cable. We'll get it fixed.

Oh, no! Is everything going to be chiseled?

Chiseled?

Never.

We'll just insulate.

Hi. So glad you've come.

Polish fir. Grooveless.

Square meter only 59.90.

Sorry. Listen -

- can you tell me where the floor boards are?

No. I only look like I work here.

But I work here.

Good. Then you can tell me -

- I have some electricity in the walls -

- and I wonder if waterproof wallpaper insulates it.

I work in the floor board department.

Oh, well ...

Mom, you have to tell us if Philipp's too much for you.

Come on, one dwarf more or less.

Philipp likes it here with grandma, just like our Ren�.

He'd only bother you working. This is best for everybody.

Except for us.

But there always has to be the underdog.

Don't be like that!

After a day with Philipp,

it looks like the Russians trampled through.

Ren�'s such a good boy, since starting private school.

And anyway -

- that house was a stupid idea.

You would have gotten our summer house someday.

But you can't compare that, Dad.

Right. My house has a roof -

- windowglass and a toilet.

We're getting a new toilet bowl.

Special sales offer.

You'll need it now.

I don't see your house happening.

But Herbert's working like a madman.

Exactly.

Willi just means, Herbert's no handyman.

Remember the problems he had with Philipp's playhouse?

Building really is bothersome.

Just think of the problems Willi had at the subway construction.

I think Willi ought to look at the house.

Gladly.

When it's finished.

Energy, energy! Where are the Klingons?

Stay away from the dwarves, little rat!

Hi, everyone!

That's how fast things change.

From Lagerfeld to Levi's.

Stop it, Willi.

We're anyway proud of you.

Let me tell you something ...

How often do I have to tell you -

- don't lean against the wall.

I'm in the current, Herbert.

My God, I'm in the current.

There's no current left, honey.

You're sure? - Sure I'm sure.

The fuse blew.

Thank God.

I'm sick and tired of this.

Tomorr ow we'll insulate with the wallpaper.

No!

Definitely not!

I'm not having that crummy wallpaper here.

Listen, you ...

I'm tired, my back aches, my hands are blistered.

Look, honey -

- we'll have to grit our teeth for half a year.

Then things'll look different.

Not only "things", Herbert.

We, too.

Don't be so realistic.

Le'ts do some more sanding.

Phantastic.

We'll break through here.

A second waiting room.

Blood lab.

And here is ...

I've prepared your written notice.

As of the first.

That might work, huh, sweetie?

About our option ...

We have someone offering us 100.000 for the place.

Right. We have the option to pass on the apartment.

But Mr. Krcal -

- don't you know the new housing law?

Daddy -

- I don't want to go to the country today.

Can I go to grandpa?

No way!

I'm not buying 5 new dwarves each week.

What about the new rental law?

100.000 is unrealistic. You know that.

Here's 40.000.

In cash.

Can I go to grandma? - No, that's f inal.

Please.

Herbert, say something!

For God's sake, we'll take you to grandma.

Super. - Thanks.

You're welcome.

This is not a good time to discuss -

- we really have to ...

We have to think ...

Don't save on the dwarves.

A big hand for Workman!

Watch today's thrilling episode -

- "In the lee of the floorgrinder"

After wanking the plank this dim October morning -

- I knew -

- today's the day of the rotten floor boards.

Turn old to new, as the signs of time signal.

What a wanker.

They don't really believe that anybody here -

- is going to buy a single nail because of that nerd.

Maybe not nails.

But the floorgrinders'll sell like hotcakes.

You've got to find those dumbheads first.

Who's that?

The redheaded cashier asked me, before she melted away -

- if I wanted to insure the grinder.

So what? Insurance is cowardly.

What's the ruckus about? The floor grinder?

No. The lady on it.

Now the pissed-on corners needed grinding.

A dusty job.

I finally took off my dinner jacket.

Sealing the brand new floor was just a formality.

Wow!

Great body!

Take it off!

Right!

Take it all off!

Because who wants to get an itch -

- after doing a number or two on the floor.

Are you nuts?

Are you sick in the head?

He's too young for that. Did you get the garbage bags?

No. Anything else?

What?

I'll go with you.

Should I get the fuses?

No. I'll get them.

Herbert -

- don't forget. - No!

On returning the grinder -

- I got a check for a million dollars.

I was the 22.633rd customer of the month.

For the prize money I bought a plastic pail -

- and poured the redheaded cashier into it.

I'm sure it'll be a wet night tonight.

Are you nuts? You're confusing my stage for a peep show.

We said that's staying up. Besides, I'm the star here.

Are you sure?

Thank you.

Floorgrinder?

Yes.

Insurance?

Insurance is cowardly.

Right. - O.K.

Careful! The dustbag.

Oh, no!

Don't say anything.

Oh, shit!

What happened?

Nothing. I'm grinding us a cellar.

It looked so easy, when Workman did it.

Listen, you ...

Away from the wall!

Will you please not shout?

Oh, no.

Don't give up on me.

I'm not insured.

Haven't I told you -

- a hundred times not to lean on the wall?

I would have noticed, if I had.

You're already immune against electricity.

I'll get the fuses.

From where? - From the car, or?

Oh, no! I especially reminded you at the shop.

You could have bought the fucking fuses, too.

Five to 12.

Won't make it.

Kandler!

Thank God!

You saved me, Mr. Kandler.

Gr A. Gott.

Hello, Mr. Kandler. What's up?

I need a fuse. - Oh, shopping spree!

16 ampere.

Don't have any.

20 amps is O.K. too.

Don't have any at all. Monday.

Maybe you could look, if ...

No need to look.

Have a nice weekend.

Yeah. Right.

Really?

That's sweet of you.

Otherwise everything'll go wrong here.

When are you coming?

I'll be there in an hour. And looking forward to it!

We'll fix the fuse.

Who, we?

Take a wire. Let's go.

Hi, gorgeous.

Say "hello". - Good day.

Stop babbling. Let's go.

Got a beer?

Sure.

Let's get this done.

I'll show you how it works.

You have to bridge the fuse.

Take a piece of wire -

- insulate it - like that.

You want a beer, too? - No, he doesn't drink.

You make a "u" - O.K.

Then you hit the plus and minus.

Isn't that dangerous? - Why should it be?

O.K.

Here.

No juice.

Can't be.

Oh, no!

It's the main line.

Jesus! They've run out of juice!

I borrow a grinder for a ton of money, and they run out of juice!

Is it working?

What'll we do now?

Wallpaper.

You know exactly that I don't want -

- that crummy wallpaper.

We'll wallpaper. With no electricity, nothing can happen.

I'll help you.

We'll have it in a jiffy.

Keep him busy.

He's just standing here looking stupid. - Right. Come on.

You, look.

Here shingle, ah, woodbricks for roof.

Follow me.

Here big hole -

- much shingle missing.

Many shingles.

What? - Shingles. Plural.

Right.

Ladder, shingles, and ...

Him again?!

Asshole!

Gaudy, but to the point.

Get on the ladder, and I'll show you how.

Right up there, yeah.

You hold it like that.

Then you straighten it.

I'll check down here.

Then I'll smoothe it.

Oops, sorry.

What is this?

Can't you do it alone? - Sure.

But work ought to be fun.

If you touch me again -

The Bosnian's on the roof.

How do you like it?

Crooked.

Just a little. - Sure is.

Not concentrated, were you?

What's all this childish needling?

What?

What's with her?

It's all a little much for her.

But it is crooked.

We can fix it, as long as it's wet.

Right.

You just have to be careful.

Now gently.

I don't believe it.

You working hard, huh?

Non-union worker, huh?

Yes.

60 Shillings an hour.

Here's my card.

And the number of the refugee camp.

Boss say you dig cellar?

A cellar on the roof? You're joking.

Don't get sassy.

No digging here.

Water conservatory.

Won't take long. Quick cement, done in a jiffy.

Hello, men.

Hope I'm not interrupting. - Not at all.

What can I do for you?

I'd like a beer. I have to go soon.

A beer for me, too.

By the way, it wasn't the fuses.

The main lines were dead.

We know that.

I have to go to my parents.

Immediatly. - Why?

Is something wrong with Philipp? - Yes.

He beamed away 12 of Dad's dwarves with the leafeater.

Those leafeaters are great. I got one, too.

Only Dad had a collapse.

Here's the car key.

Put a blanket on the seat. 'Cause of the dirt.

Madam,

the woodwork of the roof -

- is rotten.

One chimney's O.K. but the other ...

Please tell my husband. I'm in a hurry.

This chimney's defect,

the other's O.K.

Wise guy.

We go home.

As you wish.

Bye.

I'll need my drill next week-end.

Everything'll be alright.

Greetings, Lord of the Castle!

What's up? My favor ite sister-in-law called me.

Great. - Where's the little wife?

Gone. - Too bad.

Well, let's have a look.

Goodness gracious, you dive-bomber.

It's all up and rising, as the builders call it.

Only you shouldn't start baking a cake -

- by sticking candles into the eggs.

That's too soon.

Active walls - all sweaty.

It might upset you, friend, but you'll have to clean them.

Clean them away. With the caterpillar.

That's more eff icient, my desperate brother-in-law.

One more thing -

- dig a cellar.

So you'll have a place to cry in.

All is Roger, all is rabbit. Chin up.

Maybe you'll find a gold mine whi le digging.

Or at least the leak in your pipes, the way it smells here. Got it?

We're through, Ma'm.

Great!

A deal is a deal.

I need to stick to my schedule.

No problem.

Here, the mail.

Good bye. - Bye.

The fresh air will sure do you good. - Right.

Put your things out in the tool shack.

It's not really equipped for the cold.

That's why we always move to town in October.

But it's nice and peaceful here.

How's Dad?

Fine, under the circumstances.

Bye. Till next year.

Look.

The builder's estimate.

Not too bad.

Stop!

The walls stay up.

Now you tell me?

I'm sure we'll find a solution.

In any case we should extend the term to 20 years.

For more flexibility.

We should also be careful -

- not to overextend your means.

Let's look at a compromise -

- between an insurance loan with a fixed -

- and a mortgage with variable interest.

That leaves us with 7.78% and 13% approximately.

An increase of 500.000 shillings means -

- monthly rates of something I ike 16.689.

Yeah, well -

- there's no way out.

O.K. Where do I sign?

You can't sign just yet.

We'd need -

- some securities. Do you have pictures of the house?

Come on, not the old ones.

These are the new ones. What's with you?

Oh, isn't that sweet.

Sure. Why not.

Yeah.

O.K.

Well, now ...

Save, save, save's the word.

We'll all have to do our share.

Everything lately sounds like an accusation.

Def initely not. What means "accusation"?

No accusation at all.

I just wonder, what you've contributed so far.

I don't want to imply that... - That what?

That I quit work when Philipp was born and you support me?

No. Not at all.

But you learned a trade, didn't you?

I can't take this grunting any more. Especially not in bed.

Listen ...

Daddy, I want my own room again.

Be quiet and go to sleep.

But I want to lie with Mommy.

No way.

Come here. Dad's sleeping on the couch.

You learned cosmetics and and pedicure, Mrs. ...

Krcal.

Did you practice it?

Sure.

You just wouldn't believe the applicants we have.

You mind if I look over your shoulder?

You can even look at your toes.

As I said, we can't pay more than 17.000.

But you can keep all the tips.

I hate to say it, but your hands look awful.

We're building, you know.

You have to start calculating better.

I'm trying. Know anyone who needs a mobile?

Dump that old thing.

Are you really letting a builder tear down your house?

Well,

I want to do it right if I'm gonna do it.

That was a dumb thing, trying to muddle through things.

Especially now, that the bank's backing me.

You only build a house once in a lifetime. Me, at least.

But you're having a builder do it? I'll be darned.

Have to.

Because of the rebuilding loan. No receipts, no loan.

Are you nuts?

You know what that costs?

They'll charge you an arm and a leg.

No, never.

He's totally fair.

That builder's out of his mind. He's nuts.

My God, he's doubled the estimate.

He's asking 98.000.

Not in your life. I'll sue him, just wait.

They're all crooks in the construction business.

Just as crooked as car dealers.

The phone!

Not with me!

They're not there now.

I don't care.

I'll show him.

He'll get his.

I'll go on the radio, on a talk show.

He'll find out who he's dealing with.

I'll get those crooks!

Not with me!

Maybe you can talk to him.

Talk to him?

Those crooks only understand one language.

Please!

You have to give me a discount.

O.K. 75.000.

Super.

But, of course ...

No receipt. - No, just a minute. I need one -

- for the rebuilding loan. Well, O.K.

And what about the wall you accidentally pulled down?

Can't say accidentally.

It'll make a great patio.

Yeah, sure.

I could clear away the rubble.

If you want.

How much'll that cost me?

Around 8000.

But, of course ... - No receipt, I know.

Asshole!

Can I ask you something personal, Silvia?

Because ...

Herbert -

- starts acting so funny.

So strange.

When you were building, did your husband change?

No.

He's always been stupid.

8000 for clearing away rubble? Bullshit.

You know something?

I'll lend you my old horse trailer for the rubble.

Then you take it out where nobody knows you.

But that's illegal.

If they catch you, you're hung.

Oh, shut up.

Can we please leave?

Look, the old lady's wacky.

She's on the ecology trip.

Do you think it's normal to clean an engine in the garden?

If you don't shut up -

- I'll do an oil change on your cucumbers.

Those are zucchini.

What? - Zucchini.

Who gives a shit?

Anyway, we all did it like that.

A little night trip -

- and no more rubble.

Just imagine how the forest looked.

- and then went home and baked the styrofoam.

Hey, Dad. Was that a wolf howling?

No, the clutch. Now be quiet.

Look over there. There's a perfect spot.

It's a dumb idea.

Quit it.

Listen, Philipp -

- quit playing around with the flashlight.

Batteries are expensive, and we're not swimming in dough.

I'm working up a sweat.

Will you please put my jacket in the trunk?

You want a sandwich?

What? No, later.

Philippi,

sandwich?

Forget it.

Sweetie ... - Watch out!

What?

Willi knows someone who'll do the brick construction for 400.000.

Listen ...

It'll be up in a jiffy, Willi said.

I'm sure Willi gets it up in a jiffy.

Are you nuts or something?

Me?

Need I mention Mallorca?

How often do I have to tell you? It was nothing.

We really had engine trouble with the boat.

The whole night?

I think that chapter is really closed.

For me. But apparently not for Willi.

Good night. - Bye now.

Drive carefully, guys.

The situation in the Styrian village of Hornberg is coming to a climax.

After the arrest of the mayor -

- the Department of Finance is demanding -

- strict control of property sales in the entire region.

Can't be long now. Just a matter of time.

That's what I say.

Kandler should have never sold that house.

But money's all important.

They shouldn't have ever permitted to build anything there.

But those were other times.

Still ...

Something wrong? - No. Keep quiet.

Honey, get me my jacket, please.

Are you cold?

No, but the car key's in it.

Come on, Philipp.

We're leaving. You've to get to school.

Sweetie -

- does the power lock shut the trunk, too?

Sure. The Japs have all extras included.

All windows streetside.

Why?

Tell me, why -

- did you close the trunk?

And why did you lock the car?

Which is the cheapest glass?

The mirror.

Please get away. Just move.

Sweetie, shouldn't we call Triple "A"?

Just move out of the way.

Move!

Now get this, you ...

Can't believe I'm smashing my own car.

Move, please.

This way to Sulz, this way to Kaltenleutgeben.

Spread out, but get away from me as far as you can.

And you open up!

Not with me!

Open up!

You know what you cost me each month?

Done. Let's go.

Where to, Mister?

Hi.

You already murdered today?

Not yet.

Is that your garbage?

This isn't garbage.

It's my prefabricated house.

Just layed it out to see if it's complete.

Being funny, huh?

Yeah.

That'll cost you.

Oh yeah?

A customer for you.

V.I.P.

Hello, my lovely.

Good day ...

Aren't you the one from the hardware megastore?

This ... "Workman"?

The very same. What a coincidence.

Please, Mister ...

Leave out the "Workman", sweet one. Call me Stephan.

Gr A. Gott, Mister!

Told you, it would cost you.

You damned rapist of nature!

No! Please! It was Meier's idea.

I anyway paid the fine. 7000 shillings.

Please! It was Meier's fault!

It can't go on like that, Mr. Krcal.

Besides, it was Meier's trailer.

We should have a talk.

Come to my office.

You know, we're up to our necks with that house.

I do feel a ittle responsible -

- for your miserable situation, Margit.

Come on ...

But surely!

My realistic stage performance often leads people -

- to do things they'll regret later.

Not everyone can build a house.

We can't go on like this, anyway.

You agree?

Sure. We can't go on like this, anymore.

I live in a summer cabin, which wouldn't be bad -

- if it weren't the end of November. And if the heater worked.

Margit, my wife, now cleans toenai Is as a fulltime job.

The boy is in an institution, a boarding school ...

I mean, we had to put him away.

He always tries beaming the teacher away.

Which, naturally, disturbs class a little.

So he brings home notes from school.

Doesn't matter. Anyway signs them himself. With "Kirk".

But nobody notices.

Looks just like "Krcal".

Neither one of them talk to me anymore.

The boy, because he doesn't deal with Klingons -

- and Margit, because last Friday I called her "old lady".

Had a blank. Her name just slipped my mind.

It isn't easy with him right now.

He always hangs out with his cronies and -

- is always bad-tempered.

Dearest, I'm so very sorry for you.

May I take you out to dinner?

No ...

That's sweet of you, but -

- I can't get a bite down.

I'll have it checked soon as the roof's up.

You have my sympathy, Mr. Krcal.

But you have to pull yourself together.

Because otherwise ...

Right.

I can assure you that ...

Sorry, just a second.

But why?

You can't do that.

But l, maybe ... hold on.

Could I maybe have this afternoon off, Mr. Spitz?

It's really an emergency.

I think we have to be objective, Mr. Krcal.

What you own is a ruin.

An expert of the regional council went by to -

- check your ... let's call it "house" -

- and felt it doesn't comply.

What?

I don't believe it.

Listen! I bought building material for 260.000.

How do you expect me to pay that?

A valid question indeed.

Can't you just readjust the loan?

We'd need securities.

Securities?

But you already own the house!

O.K. I mean -

- your house is no security, its a life-time project.

Good bye, Sir.

Where were we?

Oh, yes. Have you thought about -

- selling the property?

No. Impossible.

Please, you've got to recalculate somehow.

I don't see ...

Hold on.

I just saw something.

Let me congratulate you on behalf of our institute.

Happy birthday!

For your house key.

Hi, neighbour.

I've got something.

Bread for your horse.

Thanks.

You are the son-in-law?

Bye!

Good bye.

If we're lucky, we'll do the last haul today.

What's the matter?

Something wrong?

Go on!

Birthday surprise.

Car keys.

Car papers.

What?

12 months no payments, Mr. Krcal.

Jesus!

I'll take the car now.

Sure, go ahead.

Holy cow!

Slipped with the key or something?

It's anyway insured.

That's willful destruction.

Not loaded.

You'll pay for this.

Each little scratch.

Shit!

They're really taking my car.

What kind of life is this?

I can't go on, Herbert.

Well ...

What's wrong with Mommy?

Nothing. She's got a headache. Now finish your meal.

Should I get her beamed up to the clinic?

Kirk to Entenprise. Come in, Entenprise.

Stop it. I'm O.K.

They wouldn't have cancelled the loan if you had gotten receipts.

That's bullshit.

But it's true. You're dragging us down in the dirt with you.

How about shutting your trap, huh?

Please, not in front of the boy.

Hi! Anybody home?

We're singing a song for Herbert -

- Herbert -

- you asshole -

Bottoms up! Cheers!

Birthday surprise, wanker!

I don't believe it.

Hi, Margit.

Please, don't.

Careful, tricky stuff.

Ex or asshole!

Not bad.

And what about your present?

What present?

Us!

We're coming -

- next weekend we're there.

Special task force.

We'll be ready Saturday morning -

- 8 o'clock at your door.

I don't have a door yet.

How about a swig?

I think your old lady's got the hots for me.

We could trade partners New Years Eve.

Herbert, please!

Great idea.

Who're you gonna trade?

Are you just going to stand there?

We're just having fun.

Your old lady's pretty fucked up.

You nuts or something?

No shit!

Come here, Philipp.

I'm getting a divorce.

What's wrong now?

What do you mean?

Let her go. She'll come back.

Come here. Sit with us.

Sit!

Come on.

Tell me, what's going on here?

Nothing.

I lost my car, too.

Don't let it get you down.

But they can't just take my car.

How am I going to get to Hinterholz?

Good question.

Now the mobile's fucked.

Shit!

And I'm out of change.

Gr A. Gott, Mr. Kr cal.

Hello, there.

How're you doing?

Would you have some coins for me?

Oh, dear. Sure!

Just for the phone.

Is a ten O.K.?

Mitzi, how could you?

Hi. It's Herbert.

How're things?

Better?

Fine.

Could I talk to Margit, I mean, my wife?

Can't be that she doesn't want to talk to me.

You know what:

I'll just come by tonight, and ...

Are you all nuts or something?

Here's nothing to stare at!

I'll sue you, you ...

Howdy, wankers!

Hi. Your new abode.

And your new car.

Runs I ike a bunny!

And if you fix the breaks, it'll even stop.

Wait ...

Get out.

Say "hello".

Good morning, Mr. Krcal.

Hi there, Mr. ...

Glad to help you out again.

Don't gab.

Quite a change, since last time.

I'll tell you something.

Folks I ike that are unpredictable.

I'll take care of him.

It'll be O.K.

Sure.

It's already in the papers:

"German TV lifts secret of Hornberg!"

"What are the villagers holding back?"

Skeletons in the closet always mean trouble.

Relax, Mitzi.

But it's true. - Now quit it!

We'll end up on TV, too.

What if he starts digging after all?

He's not going to.

Now no more talk of it.

Cheers!

Did I promise too much?

Quick as a jiffy.

But digging's not allowed here.

Dumb ass!

You can dig all you want on your own property.

Things'll look up now.

Sure. Got it right here.

The trailer's less.

It's my brother's. Only 3 grand.

But I only have ...

Can't I just borrow it?

He's glad to be rid of it!

O.K. then.

What about him? What does he want?

His name's Iso.

What?

Iso.

Pretty short name, eh?

Probably can't remember a longer one.

"Meier's" no tongue-twister either. - What?

Your jokes are just as dumb as your old lady's.

Ex-old lady. - What?

Oh yeah, right.

Good riddance, anyway.

She wasn't exactly ugly.

Now get out of here!

What?

Go fuck off!

I'll be damned!

Come on!

Egghead.

By the way -

- I hear you're getting fired.

Why didn't I get a present from Daddy?

Maybe it's still coming.

Maybe rubber boots and work gloves.

I think the Boys' Choir is on. Please look, Willi.

Do we really have to listen to those eunuchs?

I think they're on before the news.

After the news.

Do you always have to be right?

Relax, Dad. Think of your heart.

Don't.

I don't mind.

You look so sad.

Sorry. It's my first Christmas alone.

Can't really call it "alone".

Be glad you're rid of Herbert.

No house,

but debts.

That's tough following.

Specialist at work.

sorry.

Forget it. Maybe they're really after the news.

Christmas or no Christmas -

- your divorce cost us a ton of money.

So what? You want to take your dough to the grave?

Hey, Mom ...

Can we go soon?

Sure.

You want the car? - What's up?

Where are you going?

Turn it up.

Awesome.

Merry Christmas.

Right.

I mean, same here.

How are you?

O.K.

And you?

So, so.

I'm starting the foundation now.

I thought -

- this is a water conservatory.

I checked that. It's allright to dig.

Are your good friends helping you?

No.

I got rid of them. You've seen the last of them.

Who's helping you then?

I'll help Dad.

You got the shittiest trailer.

You want to come in?

It's a little warmer inside than out.

Welcome!

Make yourselves at home.

Sit down, Philipp.

Hungry?

Want some pickled herring?

We've eaten already.

Salmon and wild goose.

Look, what Grandma gave me.

A new space gun -

- the Star Trek game ...

Quit it.

Look!

An Entenprise shirt.

It's "Enterprise", Uncle Willi said.

Well, if Uncle Willi says so ...

Wait, I've got something for you.

It's not wrapped yet, but -

- get up a second.

Right.

Look, Margit.

Remember?

That looks pretty complicated.

I can help you.

Super.

Can I sleep at Dad's?

I don't think -

- that it's -

- a good idea.

The atmosphere on this planet's like on earth.

Kirk, over and out.

It's really a beautiful spot, huh?

It's just that - alone ...

Shouldn't we give it another try?

I think the chapter is really closed.

Maybe for you, but for me ...

Hey, Mom!

How long can I stay with Dad?

Four days. - Super!

Well, then.

Put on your cap.

And be good.

Dad, can I start digging?

What?

Go ahead and start.

I'll be right there.

Today in Hornberg -

- tomorrow in Hinterholz.

As deputy of the village improvement committee -

I tell you here and now -

- you never ever should have sold that house.

It needs to be said, by God.

Doesn't it?

Now wait a minute!

Shut up.

What's that?

What?

It's a bone.

How'd it get here?

Maybe some dog buried it, or ...

Stop playing with that bone.

But there are lots more.

What?

It can't be.

Please ...

What is this?

A caveman?

More I ike a cavemen excursion.

Those aren't bones.

That was once a Roman. That's it!

Those were whole Romans. It's a find.

It's a historic find.

We're rich.

Filthy rich.

And it's our big secret.

Honest In jun?

Right.

Howdy, Mr. Krcal.

I've been here before.

Incognito.

I keep checking if anything's new.

Now you dug after all.

The mayor's not going to like it.

And you already found it!

Sure I found it.

And I'm the rightful owner.

You can tell that to Kandler and his old fuckers.

What?

The find's all mine.

You can keep it.

It's all yours, the old plague ditch.

Why are we building our house on a plague ditch?

Cover it up, and we'll forget about it.

I'm not building my house on a grave.

Allright!

Then come along.

That's typical, brother-in-law.

You dig your own grave, and then it's already occupied.

Get away!

Away from here!

Shove off!

Where are you going, Dad? Take me with you.

Where are we going?

Home. To Mom.

Here.

For you.

Kirk to Enterprise. Come in, Enterprise.

We're on route 4551 . Kirk, over and out.

I want my wife.

Who's your wife? - Margit Krcal.

Miss Margit has a customer.

How's the house?

We've got problems with the workers, too.

I could go on and on about it.

They put in three wrong tubs for the whirlpool.

Three!

But who am I telling that?

Right. We're moving to Vienna.

You can't go in now.

What's wrong?

Sorry, Stephan.

What? Who's Stephan?

That's me.

Haven't you heard of knocking before entering?

You bet.

Well, that's how it happened.

Afterwards it sounds funny.

To me, at least.

I don't even smoke.

But it relaxes.

Let's get going.

Admit, you're pigs.

1,6 million ready to move in.

Do you see any floor edgings in the hall?

Me neither.

Now I can go out there and lay them myself.

But I don't mind, really.

I'm starting to like it.

I'll take my time doing it.

You wouldn't have a mitring saw here?

Attention! Attention! This is the police.

Mr. Krcal -

- be reasonable.

The house is surrounded.

Free the hostage -

- and come out with your hands up.

Nothing will happen to you.

Leave your weapon inside.

My weapon!

TV's here, too.

I bet they're doing reality-TV.

You seen it?

I bet you have.

I like it -

- because they show real things.

An emergency helicopter action on the freeway, if it's well done -

- I don't need "Werewolf".

Anyway, life's the worst horrorfilm anyone could write up.

Any of them.

Right.

Did anyone say "fire"?

He might have run.

Mr. Krcal -

- no more amuck.

You have 3 minutes.

Then our 48 sharp-shooters -

- will open fire for 15 minutes.

Then we'll storm the house.

If we haven't hit you by then -

- we'd be obliged if you turned your weapon against yourself.

He's already outside.

What?

Order cancelled!

You're, eh -

- under arrest.

It's over. We can relax.

The New Years Eve hostage drama in the prefab homes' park ended unbloody.

A police task force arrested the madman.

Herbert Krcal held Gerald Isac -

- as hostage for 4 days.

We're in the dark as to the reasons for this drama.

Hellriegl!

Kr cal has no pol ice record.

I've never ever had any trouble with the police.

All I did was take out a building and savings loan 5 years ago.

Wasn't even allotted.

Right. I didn't even need -

- to build a house.

Philipp, wait!

Let me through.

It wasn't so bad in Vienna.

Just the parking.

But I always found a slot in the end.

Krcal to Enterpr ise. Enterprise, come in.

Here Captain Kirk.

Hi, Jim.

Krcal here.

It's getting a little hot down here.

Can you beam me up?

There's no intelligent life on this planet, anyway.

Roger.

Scotty, activate transporter.

Emergency evacuation.

Wait!

Take me, too.

Energy, please.

Krcal, over and out.

Bullshit!

- how he's going to insulate electricity with waterproof wal Ipaper.

No, not tonight.

Typical.

They build a house, and don't have a clue, how.