Original subtitles

[relaxing music]

- Get ready. - [indistinct]

- Yeah! Whoo!

- Maybe we should play frisbee sometime.

♪ ♪

- Ay, ay--uh.

- Oh, I'm sorry. - Oh, no worries.

We have more of those at home. - [laughs]

- Ah, at least we finally get to meet you.

Yeah, you know, we've seen you before.

I am Javier, this is Maria.

- Mm, yeah.

"Javiara" for short.

- Oh, how sweet.

You do that thing where you blend your names.

Very sweet.

I'm just Sonia. - Ah.

- You're very good at frisbee.

- Oh, thank you.

We're training for a fr-golf tournament.

- She means-- [barks]

You know, frisbee golf.

[laughter]

- Yeah, this kook got me into it

when we were living in San Antonio.

- Oh, Ray and I live in San Antonio.

- Oh, really? - Oh.

- And--and who's Ray, your son?

- It's my husband.

both: Oh.

- Thank God!

What a relief. - Pardon?

- I'm sorry, we-- - Oh--

- We thought you were a widow.

- What? - Well, you know,

since always-- we watch you always

walking alone, you know?

- Yeah, and-- and you have a wedding ring.

- Mm-hmm. - And sometimes you have this

kind of, like, faraway look like if you were...

- Missing someone. - Yeah. Yeah.

- Yeah. - But hey!

He's alive! - Yes.

- Yay! Hooray! - Yay!

[laughter]

- We, uh--we gotta go have dinner, huh?

- Yeah. - I was thinking--

- Oh, the place at the beautiful

restaurant we went to? - Yes, with that little--

- Oh, with that darling backyard.

- Yeah, the awning! - Yes, yes.

I remember. Okay, let's go.

- She's always reading my thoughts.

You know? - Yes.

- Watch this.

What am I thinking now?

- Oh, shut up, cochino!

Later. - Have yourself a--

a wonderful evening, Sonia.

- Yeah, yeah. Hey, say hi to Alive Ray.

- Yes. [laughs]

- You're so bad.

[line trills]

- Hi.

Why don't we go to dinner tonight?

- Sure. Where?

- You know, that place.

- What place?

- You know, where they have

that service that...

- What server?

- No, not servers. Service.

You know.

That place that's got...

- Sonia, I think you might be cutting out.

Can you just give me the name?

- Never mind. I'll see you at home.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

- My Tía Ana and my mom are still on opposite sides

when it comes to the ongoing fight

between my papi and Tío George.

Nothing says passive aggressive

like a standoff in front of the fridge.

- [sighs] Let's see.

Mm, no, I had that yesterday.

[scoffs]

Maybe no,

or maybe no.

- Maybe pick something.

The one thing I wanted.

- [speaking Spanish]

- [vocalizing]

Hello, ladies.

[starts to vocalize] - Mmm.

[speaking Spanish]

- [mockingly] Oh, qué rico.

- And healthy.

- [scoffs]

- Mmm. - And I'm just gonna--

this little thing he--uh, no.

Okay.

Enjoy the rest of, uh,

this.

[playful music]

- [scoffs]

[scoffs]

♪ ♪

- Do we do enough things together?

- Uh...

do you wanna eat this, uh-- this cereal here together?

Oh, no, b--better yet. I'll eat, and you watch.

You can watch.

- Ray, I'm serious.

You have your stuff, I have my stuff.

But we don't have our stuff.

- Can "our stuff" wait until I finish?

No, I guess not.

Okay. I think we have our stuff.

- Like what? - Like...

we eat our meals together.

Okay, suddenly I'm feeling a lot of pressure.

- That's because we do not have our stuff.

We don't even have a blended name.

How 'bout "Ronia"?

- That is ridiculous.

Besides, I like "Rayso" better.

- Yesterday, I met Javiara.

Guess who that is.

- Javier and Maria. - Yes.

- Oh, okay. I like this game. Give me another one.

- They thought I was a widow.

- Well, you showed them,

'cause here I am.

- There was something about them though.

They're like us,

but they seem so in sync with one another.

It makes me think that maybe you and I

need to do more things together.

Like, I don't know, maybe...

frolfing?

- I don't want to play frisbee golf.

[laughs] I'm good at this.

- I'm gonna make a list of all the things

that you and I might like.

- Hey. What's up?

- Hey. - Hey, Pop.

[playful music]

- You gotta be kidding me.

The Cain and Abel story has been done, guys.

Doesn't end well.

♪ ♪

- They're still not talking, huh?

- No. Hey, what do you think of the name "Ronia?"

- Ray and Sonia.

I like it. - Huh.

Hey, can you get me a bowl?

- Sure. - A-and a spoon?

- Buenos días, Abuelito.

- Buenos días.

[cell phone buzzing]

- Hello.

- Hi.

Yeah, I'm trying to find DJ Koux Tun.

Is this him? - Who's this?

- Yeah, my name's Roger Smallman.

I saw you the other night at Club Elefante,

and I gotta say, I'm pretty impressed.

So listen, I wanna book you for a tour this fall.

What do you say?

- My dad has his doubts about a lot of things.

But the one thing he's certain of

is that this is too good to be true.

- Nice try, Mr. Smallman.

Or should I say George?

And honestly, what-- what a stupid made-up name.

- Sorry? - Yeah, yeah. You are sorry.

You're a sorry excuse for a--

oh, oh-hoh.

Oh, my God.

Mr. Rogers-- [spluttering] Smallman.

Sorry, Rogers is from the neighborhood.

Never mind. Never mind about that.

Can we start over please?

- So I was thinking we go to the beach today,

and we pick up some black rocks.

- Why would we do that?

- Mom and Max time. So fun!

- That makes our fourth "Mom and Max, so fun" day

in a row.

Yay.

- So we're off to the community center.

You wanna come, Max?

- Yeah. - No.

We are going to the beach

to pick up black rocks.

- Why would they do that?

- If you change your mind--

- Changed!

Oh, hey, Mom.

Can you feed my virtual pet, Mittens?

- Uh, sure. - Thanks.

- You're gonna trust your mom with another virtual pet?

- Yeah, remember what happened to your virtual dog, Sox?

- Aw, too soon, you guys.

Way too soon.

- Sorry, Max. - Sorry.

- Sorry, Max. - Okay, go.

- Sorry, sorry. - No.

- Yeah. - Go.

[game bleeping]

[virtual cat meows]

Okay.

Ew.

- Hey. Where's Mom and Dad? - They just took the kids

to the community center for the day.

- Ugh, shoot.

[sighs] - What is it?

- I just got some incredible news, and I--

I'd usually bounce this off George, but we're not talking.

I don't wanna tell Yunjin yet and get her hopes up.

I--I just wish I had someone to tell.

What are you doing with your arms?

- You can tell me.

I'm your guy.

- Oh, yeah.

Don't know why I didn't think of you.

You're right there. - Yeah.

I know. - Well, okay.

Well, so this promoter, he called and said

that he saw me DJing at Club Elefante Picoso

and thinks that I would be perfect

to open up for this festival tour.

I mean, this could really restart my DJ career.

- Oh, my God, Carlos, this is so exciting.

You're finally confiding in me

like a little sister.

What was the story? Sorry, I wasn't listening.

- The--

that's unbelievable.

I'm--I--

[virtual cat yowls]

[upbeat music]

- Okay, so you did not like pickleball?

- Nah, it seems like tiny tennis

or oversized ping-pong.

- I liked it. I'll tell you what I hated

was water aerobics.

- I liked water aerobics.

- How 'bout surfing?

- How 'bout not drowning?

- We just have to keep trying.

- Hey, the kids are done in an hour.

You wanna get some coffee?

- No, but I could go for a tea.

Ray.

This looks like fun.

- [scoffs] We don't need dance lessons.

We only go to one wedding a year.

- It'll be great.

[salsa music]

- Hello, everyone.

Welcome to Stephan's Universe

of Dance.

I'm happy you are here today,

but I am also sad.

Happy because you will get to experience

a kind of passion that you have never know.

And sad because you will never get

to experience this kind of passion again.

- No idea what he's talking about.

- Dance is the fire

of life mixed with ice.

I'm going to take roll now.

If you are here, très magnifique.

Ken and Annabelle. both: Here.

- Ah, J.Lo and Ben 2.0,

or as I like to call, the upgrade.

I love it.

Carmelita and Santiago.

Carmelita and Santiago.

Last chance. Remember, there are no refunds.

Carmelita and Santiago.

- Aquí. - Ah.

- What are you doing?

- [as Antonio Banderas] You heard him, Carmelita.

No refunds.

Santiago lives for the dance!

Are you with me?

- [as Salma Hayek] Our couples name is "Carliago."

- Carliago.

I love it.

And I hate it.

Let us begin.

- We were taught never to lie.

But the truth is that my abuelita and abuelo

need a new chapter in an old book.

And Carmelita and Santiago are just the people

to write it.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- My mother-in-law hates that I use a microwave.

She thinks I should warm everything up in the oven.

I mean, who has that kind of time?

- [laughs]

- Well, my sister took my Zúñiga sculpture

and swears I let her borrow it.

- [laughs] - Seriously?

Who does that?

- Oh, my God, really?

Like, that's-- - Excuse me.

- Yes?

- Would you like to say something?

- Oh, darling, your problems

are really small compared to what I deal with at home.

- Well, you're welcome to join our group if you'd like to.

- Group?

- We are the Wine...

And Whine club. - Hm.

- We're supposed to be a book club.

Turns out, all we're really interested in

is drinking wine and complaining about our families.

- Uh, here in Mexico,

we love and honor our families.

So I don't know if I can go over there, sit,

and talk behind their backs...

Without having a glass of rosé first.

[all cheer]

- Welcome.

- We have a new member.

- Why not?

Pues, salud.

- Salud.

- Okay, amigas, let me tell you this.

That family is just annoying.

[salsa music playing]

♪ ♪

- Carliago, this is salsa.

It is spicy, forbidden, and hot.

- [as Antonio Banderas] We must turn up the heat.

- Turn it up, then turn it down.

- [laughs] Oh!

[groaning]

You know what, you should probably let me lead.

- Okay, Mittens, time for your virtual organic cat food.

Holy moly, that's expensive. Who wants kibble?

- Hey, have you seen Ana? - She's out.

- [sighs] Bananas. I need to talk with someone

about this business opportunity.

Usually, it'd be to Carlos,

but since we're on the outs--

What's wrong with your arms? - You can talk to me.

I-I'm your guy.

- Oh. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess I could do that.

- Yes. Yes, you can.

I get business.

- Okay, so I'm meeting with this VC, and--

- Ooh, VC? Very Cute person?

- Venture capitalist. - Right, that makes sense.

- Anyway, she's thinking about investing in the business.

And so I-- - Your business?

- Yeah. - Got it.

Mind for business. Keep going.

- Normally, Carlos would handle the social side of stuff,

and then I would swoop in to close the deal.

He's just a lot better at that kind of thing than I am,

and--you know what, I should probably just talk to Carlos--

- No, no, no, no, no, you got me, and honestly,

you're much better at this social thing than he is.

- Really think so? - I know so.

And before you know it, you won't need Social Carlos

'cause you'll be handling it like the boss that you are.

- Wow.

Thanks, sis.

You really helped me out.

- Sis?

- Yeah. - Bring it in.

- You're doing that arm thing again.

[salsa music playing]

♪ ♪

- Carmangia.

both: Carliago.

- Bellony. - Please don't call us that.

- I am hopeful and doubtful.

Doubtful these pairings aren't challenging you

to be the best you can be.

And hopeful because I can fix it.

Switch partners!

- No, I don't think that's a--

- Stephan says do it.

Yes. I've never seen two souls

more in sync

or out of sync.

- [singing in Spanish]

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

all: Cheers!

- Whoo! [laughter]

- Okay. - Oh, my gosh.

- I have my drink.

Now it's my story time.

- Mm. - Let us hear it, Ana.

- First of all, I love them, okay?

And like I said, family is everything--

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this is the Wine and Whine.

Let's whine. Go.

Come on. - [sighs]

It would've been nice if my in-laws

waited for an invitation.

- Yeah. - But they just, like,

showed up every single day

at my house, you know?

Li Lin, Lorena-- [speaking Spanish]

- Is Li Lin your mother-in-law?

- No, no, no. That's Yunjin's mother,

the name dropper that did the kitty dance.

- Mm. - Ana's mother-in-law

secretly cuts hair.

- Yeah, but the only secret is from Ray, right,

the creator of that fart app or something?

- [laughing] That's-- that's George, my husband.

- Oh. [laughter]

- So many colorful characters. - So many.

- You tell me. - And Lorena is...

- She's the one who quits everything.

- Oh. - Right.

Still don't know who that crunchy granola,

Yunjin, is. - Ooh.

- That would be me.

[dramatic musical sting]

- Oh.

- Oh, my God.

Max, you coming to windsurfing class?

- Yeah! - Eh.

- No. Sorry. Have fun.

Me and Mom are doing something with seashells on the beach.

- We're picking them up,

because nothing is more important

than quality time with my--

[cell phone buzzes] Oh.

Uh, you know, on the other hand,

windsurfing lessons sound way more fun

than hanging out with your dumb old mom.

- It's not so bad hanging out

with my dumb old mom.

- Max, I--I don't think that's how compliments work.

- Remember to feed and walk Mittens.

- Wait, Mittens is a virtual cat.

Why does it need walking?

- You didn't walk Mittens yesterday, did you?

- Uh, I walked him.

- Her. Like her.

- Uh, right, right. Her.

- Phew.

Awesome. I'll go get my swim shorts.

- Five bucks says virtual Mittens croaks by 3:00.

- I'll see your five and raise you another five

that she's gone by 2:30.

- That's so wrong.

15 bucks says 1:20.

- Uh, you guys know that I'm still here, right?

- Yeah, we know.

The question is, how long is Mittens here?

- Okay. Go. Go.

- Actually, I changed my mind.

I think Mittens will croak by noon.

[virtual cat yowls]

- Hey, sis. You got a second?

- Yes, sis does. How 'bout in five?

- Sure. I'll be on the rooftop, okay?

- You got it, bro.

[playful music]

- [as Antonio Banderas] Carmelita.

Dance with me,

and I will make all your desires a reality.

- [as Salma Hayek] Oh, Santiago.

You make me a-swoon.

- Carliago, why don't you start off the class?

Let us see your magic that makes us so happy

and so sad.

But only the -iago part of Carliago.

Isabella.

- Isabella and Anthony should dance.

- Oh, no, Santiago,

you must dance the dance.

It is in your blood.

- Are you sure, mi amor?

So be it.

- May I present...

Sanbella.

[salsa music playing]

♪ ♪

- Okay. I--I don't know what to do.

Okay, I'm meeting with the VC in ten minutes,

and I don't know what to say.

- Relax, relax. You've got this.

Uh, let's pretend I'm the VC.

- You?

A VC?

Yeah, that's kind of a stretch.

- Yeah, I can see how your social skills are a problem.

- You see? I'm too honest.

- Uh, listen.

People love talking about themselves.

So let's ask Linda a question about herself.

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good, that's good.

That's good. Okay, how about,

what are you wearing?

- Again, I can see how your social skills

are a problem.

[cell phone buzzes]

Oh, shoot, I have to go watch Mittens,

uh, Max's virtual pet.

- Really? He--he trusted you again,

even after...virtual Sox?

- Too soon, George. Way too soon.

[playful music]

- All right, um...

- Did you follow me here?

- Oh, my God. Get over yourself, Ana.

Are you talking about our family to strangers?

- A ver, a ver, no, no, no.

They're not strangers.

They're my best friends.

- Oh. - Yes, I know them

for a couple days, and they told me

that it's an American custom to talk about families

behind their backs.

- Right. - Cheers.

- Okay, well, why not do it face-to-face?

- Fine.

- Okay, um--

- Looks like you guys are working this out.

- I gotta-- - And that's a different group.

- Sorry. - No, you don't have to leave.

- Sorry. - No, get in--it's okay.

- So you think I'm a crunchy granola?

- No, mira. Living in that crowded house,

sometimes you just have to get things out.

[sighs] You wanna talk about it?

- Yeah. I do.

Nuh-nuh-nuh.

- I know.

- Okay, okay, okay.

And to be honest, I hate fighting.

But I have to stand up for my husband, right?

Even if he is being a little... wrong-headed?

- [laughs] Is that a polite way

of saying dumb, foolish,

as stubborn as a horse?

- Okay, I think you mean mule.

But yes. - Yeah.

- But Carlos isn't the only one.

- Well, George is acting like the backside of that mule.

You know what, we've got to get them talking again.

- Well, what do you suggest? - I don't know.

But maybe the answer might be after this glass of wine.

- I think it's in the one after that.

- Cheers, crunchy granola.

- Oh, okay, tacos de chicharrón.

- [laughing] Oh, my God, I love you so much.

- I love you too. - I'm sorry.

- This afternoon, Tía Ana and Mom laughed

and bonded over stories about their dopey husbands.

And they joined forces to fix the chasm

between Tío George and my dad.

- What's up, bro? - Hi.

The promoter's gonna send me the contract,

but then what? I-I'm no good at fine print.

George always handles that side of the business.

- Okay, I got you.

Before I got married, I dated a lawyer

named Larry with a very unfortunate

last name--Larry Swindler.

Honestly, he should have been named

"Larry Never Calls You Back."

- I'm just gonna run this through George.

- No, no, no. Don't be so eager.

You don't jump every time he says "how high?"

[cell phone buzzes] Uh, I'll be right back.

- I'm--I still don't--I don't--

okay.

- Oh, I got Linda to start talking about herself,

but now, I don't know how to get her to stop.

I need Carlos. He knows her.

- No, no, no. You don't need him.

He doesn't know everything.

He actually doesn't know a lot.

He's not even a social butterfly.

He's--

He's right behind me, isn't he?

- Yep.

- [groans]

[solemn music]

♪ ♪

- There you are.

Why'd you leave?

- Watching you dance with Isabella was--

- Oh. That was a mistake. I'm sorry.

- No, it's fine.

I'm not worried about you dancing with someone else.

I'm worried about you and I not dancing well together in life.

- That--that's not a reflection of our marriage.

- But we're not spontaneous anymore, Ray.

We're out of sync. We're in a rut.

Our anniversary's coming up.

- Every morning, I wake up,

and I thank God that I get to share my life with you.

My life doesn't work without you.

[sentimental music]

It would be my greatest honor

to say "I do" to you all over again.

Will you remarry me?

- Of course.

♪ ♪

You wanna go back to class? - Nah, let's just...

- Let's get some lunch. - Get some lunch.

- [chuckles] At that place...

- With the lanterns and...

both: The picnic tables.

[both laugh]

- We are in sync.

- [laughs]

- And just like that, Carmelita and Santiago

were no match for Ray and Sonia.

- Listen, I know what you guys are both thinking.

- Not by a long shot. - I don't think you do.

- It's just I was so excited that you finally

confided into me like a real sister.

Honestly, when you two get together and I start talking,

it's like you don't even listen to any--

- Dude, I've had Linda on the phone

for ten minutes, and I don't--

- That's the VC. - Oh.

- She keeps talking about, uh, Kenny?

I don't know who that is. Is that her--

her husband or her son--

- No, no, no, dude, it's her bird.

- Oh! Yo, that makes sense.

I kept wondering why she was feeding him on her shoulder.

- [laughs] A bird.

On the shoulder.

I'm out again, aren't I? - Yep.

- Just listen, I've been asked

to perform and tour as DJ Koux Tun

at a music festival this fall.

I-it's not for sure yet, but it's looking good.

- Are you nuts?

- Nuts? Wh--

I should've know you wouldn't support this.

- It's not that.

Look, man, I'm a realist.

Our business is something that you can count on.

This DJ dream, I'm sorry-- [cell phone buzzes]

It's not real.

- It is now.

I just got the contract.

I'm taking the gig.

- Carlos.

- What just happened?

- Your husband just quit on me.

- Mi amor.

[speaking Spanish]

- You said it, sister.

I don't know what that means, but you said it.

- George.

[virtual cat yowls] - Damn!

Mittens just bit the dust.

- Yes! It's 3:06. Nice.

Alexa and Andrea owe me 15 bucks.

Alexa! Andrea!

- The truth sometimes depends

on the person who's telling it.

And the real truth is that the Garcia brothers

are at crossroads in their lives.

Todo para la familia.

Everything for the family.

- I'm sending over the festival

mock-up flier right now.

- Yeah, that's awesome. I'm so excited.

I've literally been dreaming about this...

[phone chimes] For a really long time--

I--hold on, DJ Throw Back?

- Dude, you're a DJ from way back.

You think you're today, but you're kind of old.

That's what makes it funny. You get it?

- No. No, I--

I don't get it.

[scoffs]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- ♪ How do stars remind the twinkle in your eyes ♪

♪ It's brighter than the moonlit sky ♪

♪ That's when I knew, oh, when I knew ♪

♪ That this was paradise ♪

♪ Paradise, paradise ♪

♪ That this was paradise ♪

♪ Paradise, paradise ♪

♪ Maybe we can escape ♪

♪ Paradise, paradise ♪

♪ Maybe we can escape, you and me anyplace ♪

♪ That feels right ♪