Original subtitles

♪♪

You're up early too.

Yes, I was too excited to sleep.

Mmm, well good morning, honey.

Honey?

Well, sure.

I mean, what do almost married people call each other?

I know, I know, why don't you call me what your mom calls your dad.

Okay. I'll call you, Frank.

I'm gonna call my parents right now and tell them the news.

Okay.

Oh, it's the biggest news of our lives.

And you wouldn't believe what I've gone through to make this happen.

Hold it!

I'm getting a message from the ground!

It's from somebody named, Kelly.

Kelly? Well, what does she want?

Zack, can you hear me?

Look, please don't jump.

She says, "Please don't jump."

- Why not? - Why not?

Zack, look.

I don't want you to jump because...

"Don't jump because..."

Because...

I love you.

"I love you."

I love you too!

"I love you too."

Now get back down here so I can hold you in my arms

and show you how much I love you.

She says 10-4.

Oh God!

Hey, you guys. Did you hear that?

This is incredible. She says, she loves me.

Oh I feel like, like I must be crazy.

I don't want to jump out of an airplane.

Oh, guys, she says she loves me! I don't want to die!

It's okay, it's okay. I got you.

You're not gonna go anywhere.

Okay, turn the plane around. We're not gonna jump.

Roger!

Oh! Oh! Hey!

[screaming]

That's right, Kelly and I are getting married.

So, what'd your parents say?

They said we're too young, it's a huge mistake,

and they won't give us a penny for the wedding.

Do you know what this means?

[scoffs] Yeah.

Means we're not gonna be calling our first son, Frank.

♪ I'm standing at the edge of tomorrow, ♪

♪ and it's all up to me how far I go ♪

♪ I'm standing at the edge of tomorrow ♪

♪ I've never seen such a view before, ♪

♪ a new world before my eyes ♪

♪ So much for me to explore ♪

♪ It's where my future lies ♪

♪ Today, I'm standing at the edge of tomorrow ♪

♪ From here, the future looks bright for me ♪

♪ And it's all up to me how far I go ♪

♪ It's my time to break away ♪

♪ I'm standing at the edge of tomorrow today ♪

Yeah.

Alright, then I guess there's nothing else left to say.

Bye.

Guess your mom wasn't too thrilled.

I could hear her crying on the other end of the phone.

That was Dad.

You know it's funny, ever since I was a little girl,

I had this fantasy of a dream wedding.

Look, it's not gonna happen if both of our parents are against it.

Yes it is. Yes it is.

Kelly, we are getting married this weekend,

and you are gonna have the wedding of your dreams.

I promise.

Zack, that's really sweet of you to say

but you can't pull off a wedding by yourself.

Yes I can.

Listen, Grammy Morris gave me $3000 in savings bonds when I was five,

she said I should only use them in case of an emergency.

You have $3000?

No, I kind of have 1800.

I sort of spent the rest at a video arcade one summer.

Listen, I can do it.

Trust me.

Hey, guys. I need your help.

And I need your help, my zipper's stuck!

This is more important.

Oh, easy for you to say.

You're not the one who has to feel the breeze.

I could catch pneumonia.

Listen, Slader, our parents won't help us throw the wedding,

so I need my friends to help me pull it off.

Not this friend.

What do you mean? You're my buddy.

That's right. That's why I'm telling you the truth.

You're too young to get tied down, man.

What do you want, to ruin your life?

Listen, Slader, I love Kelly.

So get married.

Who's stopping you? But, don't expect me to help.

Fine. I won't.

Hey, Screech, how would you like to be my best man?

Zack, this is the greatest honor of my life.

Do I get to throw the bouquet?

No, the bride throws the bouquet.

Oh.

Well, do I get to wear the garter?

No. The bride wears the garter.

Boy the bride gets to do all the fun stuff.

Screech, what are you trying to say?

You want to be a bride?

- Oh no, of course not. - Oh.

But it'd be nice to be asked.

Hey, girls, girls.

Which gown do you like better?

Oh, I like the white off the shoulder.

But you know, you're gonna have to shave your back.

Come on guys, I'm serious.

Kelly wants a classy wedding, and I'm gonna give her one.

Oh by the way, I registered us at Foot Locker.

Zack, before she gets back, can I be the maid of honor?

Sure. Why not?

Thanks. Oh, I better start practicing.

Zack... Now that she's gone, will you talk to Kelly?

I want to be the maid of honor.

Sure. Why not? [chuckling]

[knocking]

Hey, can I talk to you guys?

- Sure. - What's up?

It's about this wedding.

I can't let you guys make this mistake.

Back when I was your age, I almost got married, too.

But, my football coach strongly recommended that I not do it.

[scoffs] Why did he care?

Well, probably 'cause it was his daughter.

Her name was Margot.

Boy, she was the sweetest girl.

You know, there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her.

You know, she's probably the one great love of my life.

And, I let her slip through my fingers.

Mike, that's so sad.

[choking sigh]

It is, isn't it?

Man, what a dope I was.

Here I am, all alone...

You guys should get married.

Hey, if there's anything I can do for ya, just let me know.

Wasn't he supposed to talk us out of getting married?

Yeah. I just hope he never mans a suicide hotline.

[knocking]

Oh, that must be my little surprise now.

Wh-What surprise?

[sighs]

Don't you guys have a bell-boy or something?

[squeals]

What are you doing here?

Zack called me, I wouldn't have missed it for the world, girl.

[squeals]

Okay, it's all set, the dresses, the flowers...

Who are you?

Alex, Leslie, this is my life-long friend, Lisa Turtle.

I can't believe she's here.

Of course I'm here.

You can't have a wedding without the maid of honor.

You're the maid of honor?

Zack, you said I could be the maid of honor.

Get in line.

Zack said I could be the maid of honor.

Zack, the bride is supposed to choose the maid of honor.

You're right. You handle it.

Don't worry, Lisa.

Three more trips and I'll have them all.

[chuckles]

Screech, hey.

- Yeah? - Hey.

So, did you price rings?

Yeah, I'm afraid so.

The cheapest one I could find at the jewelry store was $1200.

Twelve hundred? I can't afford that.

It gets worse.

The chapel's booked for the next six months.

- Wait, we can't get the chapel? - No, no, Kelly.

We're gonna get the chapel, and we're gonna get you a ring,

and we're gonna find us an apartment.

Zack, have you talked to Dean McMann?

Freshmen need her permission to live off-campus.

[all groan] Oh no.

Oh, she hates you, right?

No, no.

Dean McMann doesn't hate me.

She despises me.

Well, Dean McMann, we're getting married,

and we need your permission to live off-campus.

Oh, Kelly. You're not gonna marry this.

Now, I know you didn't mean that like it sounded.

What, did it sound nasty?

Yeah.

That's how I meant it.

Dean McMann, Zack and I are very serious about this.

Well, okay.

I suppose it's time for me to give you my speech about getting married too young.

Sit down.

Now, I have seen this time and time again,

and always with the same results.

The financial burden proves too great.

To support his bride and pay for the new apartment,

the young husband is forced to drop out of school and--

Drop out of school...

On the other hand, there's a lot to be said for marriage.

All we know is that we really love each other.

Oh that [stammering]

that is just so lovely.

I'll do anything I can to help you.

You have my permission to live off-campus.

[both] Oh that's great. Thank you, Dean.

Now is there anything else I can do, to hurry this marriage along?

Well, we sort of wanted to get married in the school chapel,

but it's booked up.

Oh. [chuckles]

It was booked.

Yes, Reverend Dunlap.

Yes, this is Dean McMann, here.

I would like to reserve the chapel this Sunday,

for the Kapowski-Morris wedding.

Yes, well, bump Professor Fink's funeral.

He'll keep till Monday.

Yes. Thank you.

Well, you have the chapel.

- Oh. - Great.

But Reverend Dunlap would like to meet you

just to make sure that you are sincere about marriage. So...

So, when you meet him...

really sling it.

So after all these years,

you and Zack are getting married.

How does it feel?

Oh, I'm feeling 100 different things right now.

I'm excited, I'm nervous,

I'm anxious, and I'm really happy.

Oh, that's how I felt when I saw my first mall.

Lisa, you haven't changed at all.

No I haven't. Which reminds me.

Remember when we were ten,

we made a bet about who would get married first?

Well, since it looks like it's gonna be you,

you have to say the farewell speech.

You didn't bring the picture.

[laughing] Yes I did.

Say goodbye to our first love,

Kirk Cameron.

[laughing]

Okay, okay.

- This is really silly. - I know, I know, but it's a bet.

- Go ahead. - Okay.

Kirk.

How can I break it to you?

I've watched every episode of Growing Pains,

including the socially relevant ones that weren't very funny.

But, I've found someone else.

I'm sorry, Kirk.

This is goodbye.

Oh I love Kirk Cameron.

Their episode on gum disease is what inspired me to become an actress.

Um, Kelly, I want to talk to you about your floral arrangements.

Oh yeah, Kelly, I've got some great ideas, too.

Well then save them for when your other friends get married.

I'm the maid of honor, so what I say goes.

[sarcastic chuckle] Excuse me,

but I believe I'm the maid of honor.

I just flew cross-country for this.

Well then you'll just win the prize for

"Brides Maid who Traveled the Furthest."

I can't believe you two are fighting about this,

it's so childish and petty.

Besides, I'm the maid of honor!

[overlapping arguments]

Come on, Slater, why won't you go to Zack's bachelor party?

Is it because I'm best man, and you're not?

Screech, if you were the last man on Earth,

you still wouldn't be the best man.

Hey, guys.

Here you go, and that's for you.

- What's this? - Wedding invitations.

I told you man, I am not gonna be a part of this.

Come on guys, I'll take you to that discount jewelry store I found.

Zack, Lisa,

I'd like you to meet Stan.

Yeah, yeah, charmed to make your acquaintance.

Hey, uh, Stan, where's your store?

It's right here kid. Eh?

And as you can see, I not only have a diverse selection of elegant rings,

but I have some other items that have been tailored

to the needs of the newlywed. Eh?

Like these speakers right here. Eh?

What do you think? Real space savers, huh?

Ooh, how much?

Uh, Stan, can we just please see your rings.

Your wish is my life. Come on, step over here.

Look what I've got today for you.

Picked out just fine for you. Look at those beauties. Woo.

[nervous chuckle]

Garbage, garbage, oh junk.

Hey whoa, young lady. Please, huh?

Jewelers got feelings too.

Yeah, but there's only one good stone in here

and that's that 75 point diamond on your finger.

What, this?

Nah, nah, nah, this is a family heirloom.

I'll never part with this.

Not for less than $1000.

- Six hundred. - Seven.

Zack, you know we are wasting our time here.

Okay! Alright, alright.

Six. [chuckles]

And lady, I hope you stay in college a long time.

The real world ain't ready for her.

So Screech, talk to your grandmother about that watch?

Zack, it's beautiful.

I have to admit, you're really making this wedding happen.

Which reminds me, what time is the minister coming by?

At seven.

That gives us just enough time to check out the apartment I found for us.

You found one? That's great.

Yup, I just have enough money left for the deposit.

Oh, I can't wait to see it.

Mmm, neither can I.

[classy music ♪]

Hi, honey. I'm home.

Oh, darling, I missed you so much.

Oh.

Muah.

So, what's for dinner?

Oh, I just whipped up a little Caesar salad,

lobster bisque, chateaubriand, and for dessert, this.

Daddy, daddy.

Oh, hi there, Zackarina, Zack Jr.

We waited up to see you, Daddy.

And now, we're going to bed quietly.

By ourselves, so we won't bother you.

[both] Goodnight children.

Goodnight!

Life doesn't get any better than this.

Oh, yes it does, Monday Night Football's on.

[sighs]

Are you picturing what I'm picturing?

Yeah.

I just hope it's not the Cowboys vs. the Bills.

- What? - Hmm?

Oh, nevermind, nevermind.

This way. Here it is.

There we go. Wait a minute.

Now, I know this is corny, but I am going to carry you over this threshold.

Zack. [giggling]

[yells] Oh.

Sorry Kelly. I'm sorry.

But, don't worry.

I'm sure the manager will fix this place right up.

Hey, hey, dude.

You like the way I fixed up your crib?

Ah, Stingray.

Wait a minute, you're the manager?

Yeah.

They let me crash in the basement if I keep the dump looking sharp.

So, do you got your deposit?

Zack, you're really not gonna take this place are you?

Come on, Kelly, it's the only place we can afford.

And besides, once we, I don't know, get some new furniture,

a new rug... [gasps]

Oh, um, I'll need some references.

At least we'll be together.

Well that's good, because I don't want to be here alone.

Here's the deposit.

Cash. Wo ho ho.

Forget about the references. [laughing]

Well, first place together.

Pretty exciting, huh?

Yeah.

- Can we go now? - Yeah.

Something wrong?

Uh, it's just, our apartment turned out to be a dump.

I tell you, Kelly was really depressed.

And so am I.

Sorry to hear that.

Yeah well, maybe you're right.

Maybe this time I took on more than I can handle.

Nah, you're just overreacting. It's probably not that bad.

Well, if you come to visit us, bring a ladder.

Look, I bet if you get a bunch of your friends together,

some paint brushes, a tool box, you can turn that place right around.

Now, wait a minute.

Are you saying that you're one of my friends again?

Hey, I always was.

And I still am.

Thanks man.

[snap]

Well I gotta take a shower.

I gotta see a man about a church.

Hey cuz.

Screech, I changed my mind.

I'm coming to that bachelor party.

Only, you better let me plan it,

'cause I'm gonna throw my bud a real bachelor party.

Well, fine.

Then you be the one to cancel Barney.

Ta-ta-ta-ta. [laughing]

What are you wearing?

This happens to be the perfect bridesmaid dress for Kelly's wedding.

Yeah, but only if she's planning on marrying Krusty the Clown.

Why don't we go for something more conservative? Like this.

Conservative?

Leslie, that dress should have its own chair on the McLaughlin group.

Hey, guys, how's it going?

- Kelly, look at this bridesmaid-- - Don't, you'll go blind.

Now, if you want elegance, can I suggest--

- What about simplicity? - Whoa, whoa!

I thought the bride was supposed to make choices like this.

You're right, go ahead.

Okay, okay.

Look, my choice is that you three stop fighting

over every detail and start getting along with each other

before this wedding is over.

If we keep this up we're going to ruin Kelly's wedding.

Yeah, you're right.

You guys, let's do something to cheer her up.

Let's um...

Throw her a shower.

Or a bachelorette party.

- Yes! - That's a great idea.

Let's do it tonight.

Yeah, something really classy and stylish.

Exactly! I'll go hire the male exotic dancer.

Alright, now, Reverend Dunlap should be here in a minute.

Now all we have to do is convince him that we're mature enough to get married.

[loud knocking] That's him! That's him.

- Pull your skirt down lower. - Okay.

Why, that's something I never thought I'd hear you say.

[all] Surprise!

It's your bachelorette party!

Ah, guys, this is really sweet but the timing--

Yeah, you and Zack will have plenty of time for that after you two get married.

Listen, girls, you're all gonna have to leave. I've got a Reverend--

Surprise!

[cheering]

What's going on?

Hey, this is your bachelor party, man.

No, no, no, Slater! Not now!

[whistle]

There's a lot of noise in here.

Now which one of you is Zack Morris?

Uh, I am.

[rock music ♪]

Surprise! [cheering]

There you go!

No, no, no!

- Relax. - Quit it!

[cheering continues]

Uh, excuse me, I must be in the wrong place.

I'm looking for Kelly Kapowski?

No, no, no, you're in the right place.

I love the outfit, now lose it.

I beg your pardon?

You heard me, beefcake, peel down.

Rev-Reverend Dunlap?

Are you by any chance, Zack Morris?

Yes! Yes, um, nice to meet you.

Have you met my fiancé, Kelly Kapowski?

- Nice to meet you. - It is a pleasure.

No! No, no, no, this is not my fiancé.

This is the stripper.

I see. Well maybe I should come back another time.

Oh, that'd be great. Say, um...

- [whispers] Monday. - Monday. Monday?

I was thinking more along the lines of ten years.

When you've had a chance to grow up.

Goodnight.

I knew we should have gone with Barney.

Hey.

We lost the chapel, huh?

Yeah. Listen.

Kelly, I know what you're gonna say.

If I can't handle planning a wedding,

how am I gonna handle a marriage?

I guess our parents were right.

That's not what I was gonna say.

It's not?

No.

Look, Zack.

You've tried so hard to give me my dream wedding.

But my real dream is to have a husband

who would do anything in his power to make me happy.

And that's you.

I love you, Kelly.

I love you too.

So, hmm?

What do we do now?

We get married, right now.

Reno's only a few hours away.

We can get married in ten minutes in Nevada.

No. No way!

No bride of mine is going to be married in some cheap tacky place like Reno.

We're going to Las Vegas.

[knocking]

Guys, can I talk you you?

- Sure, Mike. - What's up?

It's about this wedding.

I can't let you make this mistake.

I'm in love with Kelly.

[laughing]

Hey Professor Lasky.

Hey Mr. Slater.

So, did you hear the news about Kelly and Zack?

No, and I'm not interested.

What Kelly does with Zack, or anybody else,

is no concern of mine.

They're getting married. [spits]

[spits repeatedly]

What?