Original subtitles

- Do you go to Viterbo? - No. How many questions!

Sorry, I haven't any intentions. I'm not a free man, you know?

- Are you married? - No, still for a few hours I am bachelor,

but at one I will be husband! - Best wishes!

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Dear young people, you are here before the altar of God

to exchange the solemn promise of your eternal love...

My poor daughter! Marries such a rough man...

She is so sensitive. - Mom , what do you expect?

Is someone who comes from nothing!

But she bought her a nice house!

-Lucky her, she is going to live in Rome! - Poor creature, far from me...

- O, yes! - Without her mom!

The years will pass, but your love will be eternal...

- Is it true that he was a master builder? - Did you hear too?

- But the partner has a distinct air. - Which?

That one with the beard.

Do you want, Elena Bonfatti, take the present Alberto Mariani,

as your legitimate spouse, according to the rite of Holy Mother Church?

Yes.

Do you want, Alberto Mariani, take the here present Elena Bonfatti,

as your legitimate bride, according to the rite of the Holy Mother Church?

Yes.

I join you in marriage, in the name of the Father, the Son , and the Holy Spirit.

THE HUSBAND

I don't come up, I'll go to the office right away.

Thank you for coming to take me.

Dear, it is no longer raining. Watch out for new shoes, there's the puddle!

- I put them already in the puddle! - Pay attention at the raincoat and not bathe it.

Keep the bag.

- Give me everything, dear. - Here are the magazines...

- Get down, baby. - Help me...

This one I give it to you or to your lady?

To me, to me... everything to me!

- I salute you, Mrs! - But do you still call her Mrs ?

Then hello Elena, good rest. And do not tire too much!

What was that wink of the eye? How unpleasant!

It will not be witty, but it is the only friend I have. Goodbye!

But why doesn't he cut off his beard?

He was lieutenent in the Alpi mountains... - Welcome Dotto '!

Always go Rome! - Go Rome!

Take your suitcases... - Right away.

Here we are! Have you the keys, dear?

- No, you must have them. - Yes.

My home, my home...how much do you cost me! But this one doesn't open?

- Maybe Pauline has put the stop. - And who is it? - The maid.

But why does she close inside?

Maybe she is afraid, she is a little girl so lost, shy...

Welcome.

Pauline, go take the luggage down at the concierge!

Yes, sir.

It's just a little girl!

- Micione (Big cat), do you take me in your arms? - Why?

Please, I dreamed all my life!

As you like, my little cherry.

Your Miccione will take you in his arms

Come on, let's do as the Americans... Yes, how fat you became!

- No, with the left! - Yes, with the right, yes....

Careful, the appendicitis,you hurt me!

Ahi! What a hit at my knees! -The knee...

A little kiss and everything is over, huh? Oh my God! They did cric!

The sunglasses, They were 10 thousand lire !

Eh, with all the money you earn!

And the money I spent for the honey moon? What is it?

A mom's gift for you. Do you like?

It gives me a sensation of old... of dead...

- Yes, my grandfather died in it! - Oh God! -It scares you?

No! The hex doesn't come to me...

The gift of companions of conservatory.

Stefania, Simona, Matilda and me with the cello.

- Will you continue to play it?

The first call! Let me answer...

Yes, answer it! But who are you? My mistress, you are...

Yes, who do I talk to?

Yes, Bonf House... ehm... house Mariani.

Who wants him?

Come? Mr. Gargano?

Garga '! Garga, let it go!

You must give me a million and two, yes or no?

I send you the chicken coop, yes or no? How come in Bari?

First Bari, then no longer Bari, but what are these things?

I'm building a 4 floors building, I need the cash!

What?

I made a family, I had the wedding journey, my sun glasses are broken,

I have signed checks and I want the cash!

And who cares!? And who cares!?

But I hit him in the head with the books!

Ah, his sister-in-law died... poor one! And who cares!?

If you go to the funeral of your sister-in-law I send you to jail!

- In the night if you hear the crickets. - What?

- In the night if you hear the crickets. - Where?

- From the terrace. - Really?

Be careful it is hot.

- How old are you, Paolina? - I will be 17 in September.

- Do you have a boyfriend? - I'm still a little horse, yes.

A little horse? You're a big one.

What do you want to say? - That you have to be careful about the military!

Why? - Because the military is smart, make the traps!

What do I care, I only attend graduates!

- How clever you are!

But what are you doing, Paolina? Take the coffee to the lady!

But do you know that Pauline makes me laugh a lot ?

She says she hears the cricket on the terrace.

- What is this scale? - Did you notice it?

- Yes. - Come on, it's a surprise.

I ruined myself, I also bought the upper terrace!

Ah, there will be the room for our kids!

Do not start again about the children. For time being, no, so we said.

Yes, we said, but I want children, dear.

I also want them! But now let's just be alone!

This door goes to the main ladder, we close it and we are alone.

- Won't it be a useless spending? - How come?

This is the highest point in Rome! Do not you feel that fresh air?

Look at the panorama.

Meadows, trees... we are in town and at the same time in the countryside.

But where is the city?

Well, you do not see it... but in a couple of years here we are in the center!

See how much they build? The land increases every day!

See that piece of land with the bush?

5 years ago, a friend tells me: Take it for 1 million.

Do you know how much it is worth today? 25 million!

Did you earn 24 million in this way, without effort?

I really didn't have a million to buy the bush.

Don't look,everything is temporary! We put plants everywhere!

I water it... - We can take a gardener!

You play the cello... Deck chairs, umbrellas, swings!

A guest room for the guests would be great... What guests?

If one day you come to find my sister or my mother...

No Elena... we don't build guest rooms.

This terrace we have to enjoy me and you alone.

I took it because no one would come to live on our head...

You will see, if we are alone we will always have a serene life, happy...

Without thought, in peace...

Commendatore, the ground is paid, the foundation finished,

the mortgage is secured, but for finishing we need cash, you must help us!

I could help you, but you want to build a 4 floors building without any cash?

But you presented us Gargano ! He doesn't pay!

I started off with a little cash, but the wedding, the rates of the house,

the furnitures, my wife who eats so much!

- Guys, how much do you need? - Let's go to the bar...

No, I have a deputy who runs away.

Make a sensible proposal and I'll answer you right away!

- A beer? - Mr engineer, on the phone!

It's your wife! - We need 2 million.

I have my wife on the phone. - Your partner has a diploma?

Workers call us so, but I'm a geometry.

- You were in the Alpine? - In Julia... - Another time...

- Is there anything urgent? - Nothing!

- So why do you call me? - Guess who's here?

- No, who? - Mom!

-I must go, the deputy leaves... Wait, I'll be right away! - Hello?

I'm in a hurry, I have to leave, Elena!

- Guess who brought it? - What did she bring?

I'm not a soothsayer, Elena... a ham?

- No! - And what did he bring? Eggs?

If you want to know wait on the phone, don't hang up!

- Elena? Ready? - Listen!

If the commander goes and does not give me 2 million, I'm ruined!

Engineer, I greet you!

Commendatore I'm done! Ernesto, come on! Take it!

And cut off your beard! Commendatore!

What's the beard got to do...

Hello?

Commendatore... One minute and we make a deal! Wait!!

Gargano owes me 1 million and two, yes or no?

But who do you think you are! Do you think that only you know the deputies?

Did you like it, darling?

Elena, it was beautiful ,congratulations!

- But who is it? - I am... Ernesto.

-Which Ernesto? - The partner.

The partner?

I replaced Alberto, the commendatore was running away...

I wonder why that one had to phone me right now?

How stupid we are!

Sure, she is exactly a cretin!

Erne ', you don't call my wife a cretin!

Sorry,I was angry, but you got marry right now!

When, then ? 6 years of engagement!

But today we've lost $ 2 million!

On the phone Gargano refused and I'll go!

But what are you going to do? You did not have to do the expenses you did.

The one for the marriage?

No, you had to do it by force,

that one didn't marry you if you would't buy a house, there were others you could avoid!

Which?

The guests were 20,

a boiler and refrigerator are necessary in a home! Which could have avoided?

- Your sister! - Fuck, tell her I am not here!

Tell her that I have contagious fever ! - Yes... it's there!

My God, this one asks me money!

- Hello, Sofia! - Hello.

What is it? - We wanted to thank you for your invitation.

Eh, I am sorry, but I couldn't invite you.

You are ashamed of your family which isn't worthy of your wife', who plays the violin.

Forget it...

It is neither because of you nor because of your uncle, it is because of your husband,

if I would have invited him if he would got bogged down!

What is it, does he always hit you?

- What is it? - You don't see what it is?

Since you are married and you didn't remember that mom is dead

we repaired the gravestone of mom!

Did we wrong?

You did well... - 48 thousand, Albe '... - 48 thousand... I see it.

It's the least, or poor mom, that tomb was abandoned.

- And did you pay? - And no daughters, and how did we do it?

Do we divide in three?

Albe 'if I had the money I wouldn't have come to you,

I would have made myself the gravestone for mom!

Well, 'Sofi', stop crying. I will pay the gravestone.

Did you see that there is uncle?

I saw it, I'm happy, I find him well. You okay, uncle?

What do you care?

Sorry, eh! Did you understand?

What do you care, he says.

Did you see it, Albe? And where is he sleeping?

Where do I sleep?

Where? Where he has slept so far!

No, we are 3 brothers! He has slept 2 years at my house, 2 years at our brother Otello

and now where is he sleeping? Where he sleeps, Albe?

Where is he sleeping? I'm just married, I need intimacy!

- Yes, yes... - Yes, yes!

You have 3 terraces, front, behind and one above, that is just superfluous!

And I put him on the terrace, uncle?

You build a room and make him sleep, poor old one!

This poor old man is your mom's brother!

It is my mother's brother,

I love him dearly and the terrace will be superfluous but nobody touches it!

Do you want to take me the panorama?

It's a little terrace! It will be a meter on 80... Sorry,uncle.

Is a meter for 80, do you want to sleep with the feet off the parapets?

Only a kid could stai in. - Yes, yes.

No,not even a kid! It's small! - Yes, yes.... Yes, yes, yes yes!

How did you have this idea, I do not know!

But what are you doing, Mom?

This is an independent entrance so we do not disturb anyone,

Here's your sister's room, the bathroom and this is my room.

- No mother. - Why? - Alberto won't ever agree .

He bought it for us and wants noone else!

But do you agree?

Yes, but I will never ask him.

But there is no need for it .

Let's leave the signs and when he will come to the terrace,

he will see them and it will be him to make the offer, if he is well-disposed, otherwise...

I do not want to start with these hypocrisy.

There are not hypocrisy, is a matter of tactics!

Why did I and Dad have been so happy together?

Because you loved them.

No, I never told him the truth! Pauline?

Yes?

Sorry, but are you wearing the bra?

No, it's a superfluous expense. But what an idea...

Milk or lemon, engineer?

Ah, as you like, Pauline.

But who are you, huh?

But who is it?

Milk or lemon?

No milk or lemon.

Only tea?

No!

You took an old woman? Where did you find her?

It's called Armida, looks good, is not it?

Buzz off...

Ready? Ah, Erne, are you?

Who? Giorgio, Mario and Peppino? Ah, are you all, eh?

They are my friends, they make a dinner...

What do you guys eat?

Look, spaghetti ammatriciana, coda alla vaccinara and lamb .

Ammappeve... Big bachelors!

- Are you coming too? - Me?

They ask me if I go too?

How could they thought of it?

No, I stay home, with my little wife.

Say hello from me. Tell the buon appetite.

My wife wish you Buon appetite

- And good fun. - And good fun, she says.

lo?

And of course... how come I don't enjoy myself?

- So goodnight. - Good night, big feeders!

We'll see you tomorrow at the game, one hour before, huh?

Who is missing, Rome - Lazio.

Go Rome! Always go Rome!

Is Peppino there? Give him a little to the phone.

I give him. Oh, who arrives first, holds the seats!

- Hello, Albe '. - Peppino, are you?

Peppino...

Despite you and all Lazials, Peppi '!

- Did you want to go with them? - With them? No...

Are you crazy?

Well... We go to bed!

Now I make you hear 112 with sordine.

- Is more cheerful? - Now you will hear .

Din, don, din, dan...

One!

Today the day is so beautiful...

what a pleasure to walk...

on your property... up and down, up and down...

Up for the ladder, salts, get in quick...

as if you were in elevator, watering your flower...

humming a canzon.

- Madam, I have prepared the flowers. - Bravo, put them on the table.

- Here? - Yes, yes, there.

Who owns, really, this beautiful property...

Room of Ida?

Entrance?

How smart, the mother in law.

She has made her apartment.

Buzz off! What is this crap?

Run away!

What the fuck...

She flinged like a hawk.

And , she has made the observatory, from here she dominates everything.

When I eat, when I drink, when I sleep, she always watches.

She has made the bath.

You don't have a mother, I'm your mum.

I don't have a mom!

If I had my mom, if I had...

Where should I have put her, mummy?

My room... When you buy it is your room!

Good morning, Alberto.

Good morning, Alberto. - Thank you, love.

- Have you seen, dear? - What?

Mom, on the terrace... Mom? What are you saying?

The signs... that are on the terrace...

But what do you say?

Where? - Is there no one there?

- No. - No?

Do not you see them?

No... I do not see them.

No, Alberto, with these jokes!

Then the terrace I gave to my uncle, who is my mom's brother.

- Lazio! Lazio! Lazio! - Who is?

The refugees!

The dirty ones, get this!

Where do you go at this time?

Aoh, but what time is it now?

What time is it? There is the match..

Damn it the terrace! I was forgetting the match. Women!

Women, there is the game, I am late, do it sooner!

- Alberto, where are you going? - But how? There is the match!

The underpants! Prepare the pedals! - Do not you eat?

No, I eat something, prepare me a sandwich, I'll eat it in the street.

But there are my friends at lunch.

I know, but friends are invitations another time, but how do I do it?

There is Rome - Lazio, try to understand.

Come on, so I'll make a fool of myself with friends...

And I don't make a fool of myself with 100 thousand romanists?

You invited them exactly today?

But you said you liked to hear the music.

- You want that I stay home? - No, I don't want you to give up.

Then I'll go!

For once, you could... What do I do, will I go or not?

Is Rome - Lazio... Forza Roma!

When I was born my first wailing was Go Rome, Elena...

But look... But look what stuff!

You Lazio are always the same! - Let it go...

Go Rome!

- Is it free this place? - Yes.

- But wasn't it for Alberto? - But he doesn't come anymore.

- Do you think he doesn't come? - He is married now.

But what is he dong all the Sundays at home with his wife?

He says he has fun.

We are broadcasting from the Olimpico in Rome, the derby Roma - Lazio.

After a quarter of an hour of play the score stays on 0 to 0.

Rome attacks, gets on the bottom line,

traversone, collects Dacosta on the fly and Lovati deviates in the corner.

Beautiful action and beautiful parade on the Brazilian cannoniere.

Ball to Muccinelli... Spliers stop the action and return.

Collects Iodice fleeing on the side line,

shakes in the middle, passing... but Binardi's head rejects.

Rome is clearly superior, tightens Lazio in its area...

Muffins in Selmonson, shooting. Panetti para in a superb way.

Dacosta exceeds 2 opponents, has landed 3 meters from the door.

The referee runs to the point fatal, penalty for Rome.

Giuliano prepares to kick...

- What do you do if I block Suez? - Step for Gibraltar.

- And I'm sending you the English fleet. - And me the Russian one...

Alberto, what's up? Alberto? Alberto!

And from the instrument it remained only this?

Only this, Father.

But your husband reads espionage books?

Read only yellow books and sports newspapers, he doesn't like the culture.

No doubt, it was him.

And why would he do it?

Why? You stoped him from seeing the derby,

you miss him a goal of Dacosta,

a rigor with the fake, a gown of Lovati,

you force him to hear the concertino and ask me why?

Sorry, but I would have done it myself too.

- But he was in bed with me. - Yes he wanted to create an alibi,

he copied the mechanism of a perfect crime,

maybe he only reads yellow books, but he reads them well.

- I will buy a new cello. - And he will get rod of hom again.

- I'll buy another one! - And he will throw it again!

- And I return to my mom! And I beat you!

- Why? - Because you are his wife!

Yes, you men always agree!

Even if he is wrong, it is better to lose the cello or your husband?

What will my mother say, if I renounce the music?

She will say that it is a great loss for music,

but I've been your teacher for 7 years,

I finally get the chance to tell you: renounce to music,

it will not be a big loss, listen even your companions.

I could also give up to music,

but now that means accepting a husband's act of strength and for all my life I have to suffer.

But what evidence do you have that he was to blow up the cello?

But you have told me, Father!

No, I made a supposition, but I could be wrong.

But now you change the cards on the table,

first you show me that he was and then you tell me the opposite.

Yes, it was he, but you have not seen him

Do you want to know how I think it?

It was a love test.

Then what do I have to do?

Get busy with him and his business and try to be useful, maybe without him noticing.

- Is there Mariani Engineer? - Who are you?

- The commendator Rinaldi. - Do you have an appointment?

Do you want me to pass, please?

He is, he came, don't let him see you, for God sake.

Dearest commendatore, happy to see you, I find you in shape, you have clear eyes...

Stop the pandering,do you know why I came?

- Of course, for the bill.

- Yes. - What is worried about?

I waited for you on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,

I call her, you talk to me about Gargano. If you don't pay me on Saturday,

I pull the digger, I sequester it all.

Come on,these are big words, what do we do, stop the work?

- Sure, you stop. - And be it, we are fair...

Commendatore, I the bill I would have paid,

if my partner was not in the south.

- And what does its partner in the south? - What to do in the south...

It's in Bari to get cash to pay your bill.

And when he returns from Bari?

Eh? Here it is, he is traveling, coming today, tomorrow, Friday...within an hour.

In short, as soon as my partner comes from Bari, I pay her.

My word.

Does he give me his word?

Up, word of honor, what do you think, between us... A drop?

- Yes, a drop. - Sit down,

You are a fine man. How is your Lady?

I sent it to Chianciano, but for me she is gravely well.

Good... And bravo, with your wife at Chianciano,

you took advantage of it and you have fun, huh?

Do I disturb?

Who is it? Ah, Elena, how come you came, a minute, that...

Do you want to let me say two words to my husband?

Allow me to present my wife, the commendator Rinaldi.

- Pleasure. Just two words. - You are welcome.

The maid confessed, she destroyed the cello,

because she understood that he shared us and wanted to suppress it for our happiness.

But do you know I have a treasure in my house?

My wife teaches the Cello , she graduated the Conservatory.

Congratulations and still playing?

- No, I decided to quit. - What a pity and why?

I understand that in marriage you have to renounce at some things.

Do you know I didn't yet know my husband's office?

You can come wherever you want, who will prevent you?

It is the mystery office, The usher doesn't let me pass,

The other makes me a sign of silence and then hides.

- Who is this cretin? - your partner.

But what do you say dear, Ernesto is in Bari...

No, I tell you he's there, I've seen him.

You tell me he's there,I tell you it's in Bari.

It will be the usher, unless it has arrived and he didn't appear...

I'll try it. Ernesto? Here, you see, there is not.

- But I assure you I've seen it. - Yes?

Ernesto?

Ernesto!

Erne!

Ernesto? - Here am I, what do you want Alberto?

Lose it, I call him and this one comes...

But Ernesto, you came and you don't come and see me?

Sorry, I've come now and did not want to bother you.

Okay, I and Commander are waiting for you.

Then everything is settled, so, thanks to the lady, we are in place.

Here is the bill.

Here is the bill...

Here is...

What is it? Did not you bring the cash from Bari?

You want to see what... - What does that mean?

My partner is in Bari, he returns on Saturday,now is here.

What is this farce?

- What to do? - If the lady did not come,

I thought his partner was in Bari and you wouldn't have paid me.

- But what changes? - Of course it changes!

And if tomorrow I'm not on the table until the last lira,

I sequester the excavator and you will not finish the works anymore!

And you lady compliments her,

an artist married with a cheating chef!

Did I make a mistake?

Bongo, bongo, bongo, I'm fine...

Sorry Elena, but... when I look at you, what does that mean?

I do not know, I do not understand.

No, I'm sorry, but when I look at it, not to make comparisons,

even the last of the country women understands what it means.

But what do I have to understand?

Sorry, but you had to understand I was in Bari

No.I'm sorry, but in my house I have never heard of bills of exchange we never lied,

never used subterfuges and nobody ever looked at me like this!

Instead, in Rome we are forced to use subterfuges

and if we want to survive we must understand each other at once!

Then I tell you that I do not understand,

because I was educated in a good college,

I come from a quality family and I can not understand your gazes!

But your partner... - What 's me got to do with it?

Did you not agree that he was in Bari?

Yes, she was... Yeah, yes, why did you appear?

You called me three times, you insisted...

Bravo, you did not have to But can you always mistake? Now who gives us the million?

- But your wife... - Leave it! - Yes, we are our stuff...

I apologize, but I thought that friendship gave me the right of.....

With the excuse of the friendship I must pay.

- Just a crap like you could have done that... - Now do not overdo it.

Doesn't matter, I'm a crap and I'm always wrong,

but this thing just now because I was not so crazy before you married!

And since your wife thinks that I am too much, I greet you, Albe '!

But what does he do?He leaves?

I'm afraid he does. And what do we do now?

And what do we do now? What have you got with it?

These things think about your husband. I do not know worried about anything.

Eh? Laugh... do not you see it?

I don't pay the contributions,

They will protest and I will leave, they don't find anyone, I return then ,

I pay the fine of 0.03 %

the count would be 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6...

The percentage of the arrears, the family tax...

Alberto, do not you eat? Are you pale, molly...

Mom, you're clamy, you have cold fingers, please eat live me alone.

If Gargano gave me a down payment, I'm going to Rinaldi,

I will not resuming work, but avoid seizure.

Alberto listens, there is a surprise...

- But what do you want? - A mother's surprise,under the plate.

But what surprise, what is it?

Raise the plate, it's mother's surprise.

Did you surprise me? I raise the plate.

Oh God, what is it?

400 thousand lira?

Mom, but how did you know that I needed?

It was you? It was you, my love?

Thank you. Oh, mother dear...

My beautiful one...

Why don't you eat, the soup becomes cold, there are little peas,

400 thousand little peas.

A little wine, mummy?

What do you do, do not you eat, Ida? - I have no appetite.

Eh, what does she, is she crying?

- If you knew how preocupied I am for her. - What happened?

Her boyfriend has leaved her. - The lieutenant?

We say to everybody that she left him but it was him who left her.

Look, isn't she looks like a little cadaver?

No, I wouldn't say a cadaver, but soon you'll find another one.

You speak this way because you don't live in the country,

Now at parties no one invites her to dance anymore.

What doesn't matter if you had a fiance ?

Unfortunately she already had 5. - All officers?

No, 3 officers and 2, so called, civilians...

I can not go back to Viterbo...

Of course, she is right, she can no longer live in the country.

Do you see that he also says you should stay in Rome?

- No! - No? - No, in Rome no.

And who said Rome? A Roma no...

No, Rome in some ways is worse.

Why?

You could find the scoundrel that compromise you, don't you read the black chronicle?

I want to stay in Rome, even if I'll finish on the black chronicle.

Give me a break. But where do you go to live in Rome?

Yeah, where do you go to live in Rome?

And where do you live?

Well, to stay in Rome, I would be happy to sleep...

on a terrace... - Do not say nonsense.

The terrace is outdoors, where do you put it?

- You can cover it. - Look out!

Mom, Ida, Elena, don't talk about the terrace, please.

But then, what am I supposed to do?

Throw me off the window?

If you throw off the window what can I do?

To avoid suicide, we could give her the service room.

- But what service! - How good you are, thank you!

You are so good.

I'm sure that in Rome you will marry too.

Even your sister found the husband...

What do you do, you take away the check?

I was distracted...

- Are you happy? - Yes.

Look here Alberto, what a distinguished man, he looks like a prince.

Well, he strangulated his wife, his sister-in-law...

- And the mother-in-law. - No!

His mother-in-law sent him to jail.

Where are you going?

- I must close the window. - Why? - There is a hurricane.

-You are exaggerated, no. - No?

Do you always sleep with the open window?

The nuns in the college which I frequented had accustomed me to this.

- Are the nuns cold? - No...

I'm not a nun...

I'm cold. - But it's summer.

Yes... Here it is...

Health and male children!

Thank you.

But she wish me health? - Why?

- Then she hears it all. - We also hear her what she says.

What satisfaction is this! So we lost our intimacy.

Look, now you have to have only one goal in life.

Which one? - Find a husband to your sister-in-law.

And where do I find it?

We carry her around, so she will know a few people.

There are a million men in Rome,

Is impossible not to find one for her!

Hear this...

What wonderful sensations gives a speedboat.

Is a fanatic! I would forbid this exhibitionism.

But look at how he goes on the speedboat...

You know how many misfortunes may happen? One is underwater,

comes out with his head, it cuts it off.

What do you say about that one of Castelgandolfo?

Who tells you that it was not a speedboat,

to cut off the head to that poor woman?

That one has found the woman cut in two pieces...

And he hidden her in the bush.

Now I understand why they prohibit the two pieces costumes where there are the motorboats.

No, don't always take me the cigarette!

- You know, I don't like a whole one. - But it's the first I smoke this morning!

This things get me angry. - And me no?

Give me a drop of Coca Cola.

-Take it, I'll take another one. - That's enough.

Comendatore, your wife commands you so?

Peppino, this kid stomped me,

make him get down from the swing. - It's been there all this morning.

Carlo, come down! - No! And don't scream.

- What did we say? - That my wife commands me.

- Do I always have to stay with the old ones? - Who is old here? - You.

You all are married, so I never know a young man.

Poor one, she is right, there are not many young men.

If you don't find them here, get sun in the barracks.

Why do not we bring her to dance tonight?

With the bills I have to pay, you think I'm going to dance?

Commendatore, look... - Where?

- Turn arround... - Do you think she is a beautiful woman?

- For me, no. - For me yes.

- The hips are beautiful. - No, the hips are ugly.

Then they're ugly, they're scary. Who is it?

- Hi, Albertone. - He was the fanatic one.

- Do you know the last one? - No. - They aquitted me.

Pleasant lady, Dr. Aurelio Santini.

Mrs. Bucarelli, Mrs. Depretis, my sister Ida.

- Very happy. - Are you married?

- No, bachelor. - Thank god.

I sit near you, since you are married I miss you a lot.

- I don't miss you. - Did you see that motorboat?

We saw it, it went like a rocket.

- Do you want to buy it? - I did not even have a car.

- I have a car for you. - How much does it cost?

Nothing.

Then I do not want it. - How come don't you want it?

If you allow me, I do the affairs. Why nothing?

Because it is American, with 200 thousand lire is yours.

- And 300 thousand the registration?

With 500 thousand American car, is a gift. - Yes.

- Do you want to see it? - I'm funny.

- Who wants to go with the motorboat? - lo!

Let's go to Sardinia, in 5 minutes we'll come back.

Wait a moment, take care the slices...

How nice... - Is he? He has now come out of a process.

- Civil or criminal? - He cheated the state!

Well, if he was able to cheat the state he is smart.

For you o cheat the state is not a crime? - No.

Did you hear it? At this point, I renounce to discuss.

Did you see that nice man?

He greeted, tonight we all go in prison.

If I have to marry, I will marry only for love.

Yes, for love...

You love bank accounts, must be a scavezzacollo...

-No, I'm an old sentimental.

And then you can not be bachelor all your life.

I am a romantic one. - Romance is my cross.

What a beautiful couple, really was a coup de foudre.

Coup de foudre?

That one pretends he is in love for selling the car.

- How are you materialistic. - You will notice it.

If you help me, I'll leave the car in the test for a week,

is an excuse to revisit you, understand?

Well, you have to see if I'm happy.

Do you stay long in Rome?

Who knows?...

La donna e mobile (The woman is fickle)...

Are you engaged?

- At the moment no... unfortunately. - Good heavens.!

But how dance those two?

- Like me and you before we get married. - And did I hold you?

Don't you remember when I slaped you?

How much does 7 for 9?

63, 630 thousand lire, at least these he will give me back,

That jerk. What day is it?

- You ask me every day, 28. - Sorry, I have to call Gargano.

I put you a marriage question, you know the answer?

I guess it, no!

- What a phenomenon. - It will be better with the second...

If I shout this one will refuse

I try it with sweetness. Ready, Mr. Gargano, are Mariani.

No? And when he comes back, excuse me?

Is he still in Bari? Today is 28.

And he didn't left anything for me, a ticket, a communication,

a check, because he had to...

No, huh? She does not know.

Tell Gargani that Mariani called, is very urgent.

Thank you. I'll send in jail.

But look who's here, my love, where have you been?

- Look this one. - Have you changed the number?

Miss Wanda...

You're all fat, you look like a pig.

- I got married. - It is not possible.

- My wife looks at me. - How much? - 4 months.

You even changed the color of your eyes,

your look is stupid! But why did you do it?

I'm telling you my wife is here... Goodbye, miss...

He even calls me Miss..

- You had understand... - Who says anything to you?

A childhood friend, we were at school together.

- Yes, okay. - Sorry.

I do not care anything, even if I see you with 20 women.

Handsome Albertone! I will accompany you with my American car.

No, we take a taxi.

Come on, Albe ', decide yourself.

He was crazy, I do not trust him.

Come on, baby! You should become my partner, Albertone.

Believe me, I'm a correct person not just won the cause,

but I sent the official to jail.

Stop, stop, stop, the newspaper.

Take the Moment Evening for me as well.

Damn, you, the American car,

the one who has given it you and who had let you drive!

Unconscious criminal, there are 2 women, there is my wife,

Do you want to make me widow? - I'm not scared.

- Yes, I'm afraid myself! - I'll bring her home to you.

He brings her back to me...

Do you understand, your sister-in-law?

We'll come to terms with you later at home!

- Have you got the keys? - lo?

- Then Ida has them. - I knew it, how do we come in?

They will arrive before us.

Sorry, where is a taxi?

- There at the end of the street. - Let's go.

Instead of being happy that there is one that courts her...

He was judged... That one is a thief!

Small dear...

- What is this? - the windshield wiper.

Do you like it?

- And this? - This is the heating.

Do you like it?(spanish)

- What a warm... - But how, you're so good.

No, Aurelio... Please, I know myself.

Then I begin to care. - Me too.

Well, I do not want to, I've been disappointed too many times.

- But you will see that... - And what is this?

What do you think it is? This way you break the enchantment!

Oh, don't be naughty.

Damn it...

A man like me, who has to think of Gargano,

to Rinaldi, to the blocked building, to the bills,

that he has to get up tomorrow at 6,

must stay here all night to wait who?

Who? Who? His sister-in-law!

When we were engaged you would have been happy to stay out with me, maybe all night.

Do not revolt, I want to know where she is

and what is doing my sister-in-law at 2 o'clock with a stranger.

But he is your friend.

Is not my friend, he wants to sell us the car!

Do not be so naive,

The car is a pretext to courts my sister.

And I'm telling you that courting your sister is an excuse for selling his car.

No, have patience, whoever lives will see.

Did you understand?

I have to buy 'the car and still I didn't even pay my mother's gravestone.

Mom, the uncle is coming with the American car!

If mom was alive, he would't have bought an American car.

Yeah, he was afraid only of Mom.

He says he has even the washing machine, the fridge and the vacuum cleaner.

And I don't have not even the sewing machine.

Eh, life is made of stairs, there are the one who climbs them..

- And who doesn't have anything. - Dad, the proverb doesn't say so.

He says his wife plays the cello all day.

- I should throw it from the window. -He has already done it. Here he is.

Since he married I don't greet him anymore.

- Hi, Sofia. - Hello.

- Hi. - Hello Uncle.

Hello. Hi, Othello.

But how come, we see once a year in front of the tomb of that poor old one ,

greet each other, right?

I said Hello, Othello. Hello.

Let's go to take flowers to Aunt Giovanna.

Let's go, if not after late fall...

I brought these to mom.

So 'beautiful... and so many. Lucky you, because you can permit it.

How much did you pay for the American car?

American... is used.

- It's always American. - Yes.

Your sister in law's boyfriend had sold it to you, he's tall, a little bald.

- You know everything, do you control me?

Ernesto told us, he isn't ashamed of us.

I also know about your sister-in-law, who eats and sleeps gratis at your home.

I am a married man, I have duties, can I please my sister-in-law, my wife's sister?

- And my husband? - Let's go.

Your sister's husband is not even him your brother-in-law?

See how he became, at least he doesn't beat me anymore!

- What does he do? He is still unemployed? - Help him...

Again? I took him in the yard he was fired,

he made me ashamed, you were at the police for him.

Dad, is true that uncle Alberto is selfish?

No. - He never gives me anything...

He continues to drink?

He does not even have the money for cigarettes.

Then he will work, he will earn and he will start again.

No, I promise you, you who have always been lucky in

life, that the businessmen are fine, you live in luxury,

Albe ', take it as an usher.

But I already have one, he has 4 children, what do I do with him, must I fire him?

Here.

Enough with this charities,give him a job!

I can not, Sofi '...

Albe '... what would she say if she was alive?

Mom, eh?

Send him tomorrow in my office, for make mother happy,

I will fire the usher with 4 children.

Mannaggia...

Dear Marian, only one man can give you the contract

of the cantoniera house and this is honorable Mr Tocci.

Well, may I write it down, Mr Tocci...

Tocci with 2 c? - Fortunately he's a friend of mine.

Ah, well...

Ehm... May I, sir?

- What we were talking? - About the cantoniera house.

Yes, then, the house...

I'm sorry, he's a poor devil, 3 years in prison... Aoh!

He was recommended by a Monsignor, he is my usher.

It has a chronic form. - Dry cough of nervous origin.

Forgive me, but I know it, is my work, I'm a doctor.

- Oh, I did not know... - It's a healthy cough.

- Annoying... - A nervous fact,

that is found in hyperthyroid individuals.

Maybe we deviated e little,

we slip from Mr Tocci to my usher's cough.

- Do you have an American cigarette?

- No, I smoke exports cigarettes but I will buy them for you...

This uses the bell... Just call me, I'm coming!

- A Chesterfield pack. - What, you smoke American cigarettes?

Yes. No,There are for the doctor... and shave yourself.

As I repeat, he was recommended by a Monsignor in front of...

What do you want? - Mr. Mariani.

-Impossible, he's busy. - Announce us!

- I said it's busy. - You are a usher,do what I say!

No, I don't do as you say!

But what kind of usher are you?

In fact I'm not, I am Alberto's brother-in-law.

- I'm also his sister-in-law! - And I'm the mother-in-law!

And I really don't care.

You supported by me, presents a project of the cantoniera house.

- here I am the mistress! - Right...

Scuse me, sir, there must be a traffic jam, just a minute... Let's call Mrs Tocci.

What do you do here? Go get the cigarettes!

What do you want? - Have you already paid for the car?

- Yes, why? -What a scoundrel!

- He left you, eh? - Yes, today.

- I told you. - You knew it?

But of course...

You have wrong and you remedy it! Let's go and threaten him.

I don't come because I have to talk with a deputy!

- First call Aurelio! - No, the deputy must go away!

Call him!

884381

Answered? - Aurelio, are you?

Is the House of the deputies?

I want to talk to Mrs Tocci, here Battistoni.

If he says yes, yes, if he says no, he is no, he says maybe, we will see.

Why do you also want to destroy the memory of the most beautiful moments?

I will talk to him.

Aurelio, please, I am the mother of Ida...

one day maybe you will feel the remorse,

but we will not be hate you, in fact we will say a prayer for her...

- What is it? - .. and you can not appreciate things...

Sorry doctor, it's my mother-in-law.

Hello? I would like... The Honorable!

Hello, sir, I am Battistoni, remember? Battistoni, of Empoli.

Did you receive the plums? - He got it... - Ssh!

Yes, yes, yes

Honorable Tocci! One moment, I do maneuver and arrive!

With this you will make sure shot, you will see.

- It is reserved. - I go at Mr Tocci, I go and come.

Do not let yourself be affected, say: Or this, or nothing.

It's older than you, be kind to him,

but tell him all, understand? - Yes, stay calm.

Honor, send me Battistoni of Empoli, were the plums good?

Were desgusting, leave the plums alone and be more punctual.

Sorry, but today with these foreign cars...

Never make jokes on me, I've been using my Fiat for 20 years and I never did late!

But it seems to me that I'm losing time here with you,

while they are waiting for me to resolve issues of world importance?

Yeah, now you also have the Middle East...

Leave alone the Middle East, enter in argument, say and do it soon!

I'm far from to make a reproach to you...

Ah, thank God!

But I feel to defend my interests, as same as you, in Parliament, defend yours.

But what do you say?

In Parliament I am defending the interests of the country and not mine

and then I fight to avoid a new war!

What are you fighting for??

I'm thinking of building of the cantoniera house.

If I did insinuations, excuse me.

What do you want to insinuate, worm?

However, I hope that with his support I will have the contract...

No, no, you shouldn't hope on my support.

- And instead we count. - It's better not to count us!

The project has already been rejected by the committee.

Then there is only to thank the cretin who rejected the project. - Oh yes?

And then know that I am the cretin who rejected the project!

And now that I know you, I say I did well!

- Please allow me... - Do not be surprised,

I know her situation, you are on the verge of bankruptcy.

But when one begins without initial capital and with the liquid shortage that there is today...

And would you like become a industrial without initial capital?

And you want to keep me from having ambitions

just because I did not have the luck that you had?

Thanks to that poor woman of his wife who is watching you, if not I already have hit you in the face.

I keep on hoping, if you allow.

My respect, congratulations to her lady.

And so many wishes for his parliamentary work.

- All right, you're hasty, so... - And you shut up.

Here is the half liter, okay?

Alberto, drink a little, is good for you.

What a beautiful figure I did today, in front of my wife.

Just a beautiful figure...

I let myself humbled without reacting and my wife, instead of being ashamed of me, she does what?

She takes me out to eat, like at a party.

But why are you doing it?

Because I love you.

But why did you marry me, what do you think I can do in life?

I don't believe at all, I married you so, as you are.

And how I am?

I am nobody.

I depend on them, by the commendants, the deputies,

do you understand how powerful they are?

If they say yes, make your fortune, if they say maybe, you can not sleep the night...

if they say no, they destroy your life...

But who am I, in comparison to them?

Why do you speak so, I know that you are more valuable than all of them.

One day the honorable will come to you and he will say, Give me a job.

But what do you say, Elena...

If business goes wrong it's all my fault.

So what if it go wrong? You are not alone, you have a family,

you forgot who I love you, me, my mom, Ida...

Up, take a drop.

We will make other sacrifices to help you, I can give music lessons,

mom can sell the house to the country, Mom and Ida are so fond of you,

that for them you are now a son, a brother. Yes, a son...

- Son a horn! - Let's go home.

Your mother is a hypocrite and uses the subterfuge.

And now we go to my sister-in-law.

It's not my sister-in-law since birth,

I do not consider myself a relative of a stranger, right?

You also were a stranger, remember?

Then I married you and...

you got me, but I love you.

You're right, now we pay and we go.

And the American car, sorry? Is it my fault, maybe?

It is the fault of my sister-in-law. A life destroyed by my sister-in-law!

- Calm down. - Enough, be silent, do not argue.

I bowed my head in front of my sister-in-law, me!

which I saved from the war of Albania!

I had to bend my head in front of my sister-in-law.

I had a future in construction, a great future... Here I am, prisoner.

You killed the private initiative, okay?

I say, okay? - Yes.

You've been fighting me with a person who could do my luck, even though he had the beard.

A portion of cow queue with celery.

Love, play the cello. - Let's go, come on, let's go home.

I break a hand, I do not come home.

And where are you going? - I do what I like and what I like,

I want my freedom, I have the right to my freedom!

Yes, you're right, but do not do it too late.

I'll do it late!

Rather, call Ernesto and apologize for it right away!

- Phone, but not late. - I tell you to go home.

Running!

Good evening, gentlemen. Are you married?

- Yes. - Happy? - Enough. - In short...

The woman has 200 grammi of brain less than the man, it is scientifically proved...

and wives are the salt of life, for this husbands drink.

Is there a cat in this tavern?

We give him the brain... Have you seen how I treated my wife?

Get home, I said!

Straight away, I told you! I'm a free man...

And she, silent, has gone to call you.

Make peace with your friend, told you.

Of course we are friends!

We are alive from the war of Albania,

we have overcome the weather of the nature of modern times,

should we put under the feet of women?

- No... - Right?

- Very right! - We are young, damn it,

we have quality, we form a force together

and if someone wants to divide it, I'll destroy it!

Right? - No one can divide us!

- Let's go get a drink. - No, it's late, we go to sleep.

- And we do not start from nothing! - Well, that's true.

I have many things boiling in pot,you too?

- Yes,let's say.. Let's put together the 2 pots and we make one.

- But now you only have the American car. - Do we also put that in the pot?

And how not!

They wanted to cut your beard, you know?

Really?

What do you care of the beatd. Do you like beard? - Yup...

- Now I grow one as well. - No, just one...

Beautiful, beautiful...

Are you a friend? - But how? You know that, Alberto.

- Are we talking about business? - No, tomorrow, with the widow.

Do we send Gargano, Rinaldi and the honorable in jail?

Yes, but tomorrow we will go to the widow.

Who is the widow?

He is the wife of an industrialist, her husband died and she has become rich,

has construction materials, a digger...

And tell me, does the widow have the cash(liquid)?

Very much and if we know how to convince her, she will be our partner.

Let's drink the liquid by the widow.

- Tomorrow, now home. - We met also the widow in the pot?

We slap all in, to the pot, my wife,

my sister-in-law, I'IGE, the Mutua, my mother-in-law, the terrace...

My wife has the cello and the widow the liquid, Is the widow ours? - Yes.

We have a widow!

- Good morning commendator Rinaldi. - 'Day. Oh, what is he doing here?

- He wants the digger. - Damn one.

- How do you know the widow? - Do not you remember?Before the war.

Jenny the panther. - She is that one?

He married Count Giraldi, 70 years,

she has been given the digger and he is dead.

He was dead suddenly! We'll make it?

- She goes over sympathy. - She looks for the male, huh?

She is even now a feline? - You will notice it.

The lady is at home? I am engineer Pinardi.

Please make yourselves comfortable.

I'm going to call her.

I don't go in, I'm afraid of the dog. - I knew it...

- What is it? - the dog...

The dog? Where?

Stand still, don't you recognize me?

Do not let you know you're afraid, pretend you're home.

- But I'm scared. - Make the indifferent.

- All right! Ugly bitches! - What happens?

- You are her. - To someone who strins?

- To the dogs. - Let's go away. - No, no.

Come on...

Good morning. Your competitor just leaved.

Yes, we've seen him. Allow me to present you my partner and friend Mariani.

- Engineer Mariani. - Pleassure to meet you.

Countess, the dog looks at me.

What are you doing here? Get away, move, damned spy!

I break your bones, go away!

Out!

I have another 5, closed in the garage, sooner or later I do a massacre.

I had a cat, but my uncle eated it. - Are you a Roman (from Rome)?

- From birth. - Why don't you cut off your beard?

I was an alpine officer...

Do not be ridiculous look at his friend, how elegant is he without the beard.

Thank you..... I also always say him to cut it off...

What a strange head you have, engineer...

What a nice contrast, black hair and blue eyes.

- Mummy had them blue... - Please sit down.

Oh, did you see my treasure? - Yes, we know the model.

May I? A great car, exceptional, a real treasure.

Do you know how much Rinaldi offers me? 15.

30 million, one over the other, so!

But do not give it to me, he is unpleasant,

I do not like people with sweaty hands .

What sucks... And where is it now?

It was working for a pier on the Po river,

but it fell into the water and remained at the bottom of the river.

Did you understand? How they take advantage of her, huh?

A single, helpless woman, a gentle soul...

If you knew how many concerns gave me this car,

before it began to lose its oil, then he killed my husband and is now in the water.

So let's catch it!

Let's go there, we pull it and we bring it here.

And then?

You put it in our hands and you will enter in company with us.

And when the car is exploited by a serious company like ours,

she can sleep quietly.

No, it seems too complicated,

I have headaches just to think about it. And... how would this society be?

Eh?

Tell her how it would be.

How would it be... it would be a bit long to explain, right?

But I can provide all the guarantees, believe me.

But is she free tonight?

I'm always free, I'm alone.

Then he gets distracted, she comes to dinner with us,

so we talk about everything now we have interests in common...

With pleasure! Are you coming too?

-He comes... - No, I'm sorry, exactly this evening I have a commitment.

Better! Much better, in 2 it becomes less confusing.

Are you married?

Ehm... Yes, shortly.

Is your wife jealous?

Gelosa? For charity, madam, is a marriage of interest.

Eh... in a way I'm just myself, you know?

Well, I dress like a lightning strike and come back in a flash!

- What do you say? - It seems right, isn't it?

To me she seems a mad one.

But why did you say you have to do it?

Haven't you seen how she looked at you? If you stay alone, you'll do it.

- You say so? - Eh!

However, not bad!

Oh, I have to phone Elena. - It's there.

Lady, you allow me a phone call?

Where do I take her?

In a romantic place, where you can dance.

Romantic? You know how much it costs...

The new company will pay...

- Hello, who is it?

Ready? Elena, are you?

I'm at a customer's house, do not come for dinner...

I do not come to dinner tonight. - Just tonight I'm alone...

But how alone, is not your sister there?

I told you, she goes out with the lieutenant!

Well, if she goes out with the lieutenant, I'm going to dinner with the commendator.

Yes, commendatore!

But you said you was at a female customer's house.

But no, I did not say a female customer, I said a male customer, Elena, understand me.

Ciao, ciao...

Ciao...

I'm tired of living at their home, never a smile, a good word, there is not even tv.

Can you stay later than usual this evening?

I have to go back to 11, if not that my bigot brother-in-law scolds me.

Have you ever been here?

Before I meet you, with whom did I come out?

Let's go.

What's up?

- I saw a person. - And who is it?

- My brother-in-law. - But wasn't he with the commander?

Look who is the commendatore and he is dancing cheek to cheek.

Cement, bricks, iron rods, linoleum, the warehouse is provided,

if you enter in the company,with the liquids and the digger, who stops us anymore?

- Are you free tomorrow? - For you, always.

Would you come with me to Rovigo?

- What to do? - Unlock the digger.

- We unlock it. - Come for me at 10 o'clock.

Just think, I wanted to make the affair with your competitor and I make it with you..

- Let's go home! - Ida wait, what do you care?

You give me little kisses?

They are signss of gratitude, anyway you are a young woman and, why not say it, very attractive.

Do you know how many years have I? 23.

- Yes, I have a son... - We like the kids.

A son who volunteered at marines.

Elena, here it is!

Elena?

Elena!

Are you awake?

Do not sleep, I have a great news, the worries are over!

In the trattoria there was the sweet... - Where have you been?

- At dinner with the commendatore. - How does the commander dance?

How come, How does the commander dance?

Then there is someone who controls me. It's your little sister, right?

But how, I receive in my house, I give up my intimacy and that one spies me?

Oh!I'll kick you out from this house, you know?

Do not change the subject, who is that slut?

- Damn! - Do not touch me, with that perfume...

Look Elena, we are civilians,

we live in the twentieth century and we must explainone to another by words,

because God gave us the word,

exactly for us to distinguish from animals.

Well, talk.

- Are you promising not to interrupt me? - I promise you.

Then hear, Elena...

First of all, it's not a slut,

but a lady, a real lady.

which lady has so many millions, as you can not imagine.

She has construction material, she has liquids, she has a digger who does the work of 100 workers

and, among other things, she also has a huge hold on Pordenone.

And I'm not a real lady because I do not have a digger neither materials, nor a hold in Pordenone!

I only brought my culture, my sensib...

But then you see that you don't reason?

Me, with that lady,

that among other things she also has a volunteer son in marines,

I have to do a work contract!

And to make a contract you do not go to the office, no,

you go to the tabarin and dance your cheek to cheek!

Yes! I danced cheek to cheek.

Well? - I gave up everything for you!

Everything! To my friends, to school, to culture, to my cello! -My baby, cello...

I buy you another one, so you can play wherever you want with the cello...

Idiot!

Yes, yes... Idiot, eh?

Yes... And then this idiot, once and for all, tells you the following...

First, in this house the husband is me!

Second, I do what I want, I'll go where I like and like it

I sign contracts with who I want, when I want, how and where I want it!

On my work,nobody, including you, has to interfere.

Third...

What are you doing, turn off the light?

If you turn off, do you think that i will shut up? I cry louder !

Third! To show you I will do how I think like and I like,

I'm announcing you that I leave to Rovigo with that lady

and in the company of that lady I will stay 2 days and 2 nights,

to sign a contract from which my life depends,

your, that of my sister-in-law, of my sister-in-law, of my sister,

Including children, dogs and cats.

Do you understand that I will be free of all the debts and I will not fail?

But why do you always look up there?

Answer me, do you pretend that you are a statue?

Listen, Elena... pay attention that I give you a slap, you know!

- Try it. - Tie '!

Coward!

Go! Between us everything is over!

- Coward, she says... - It's over, is enough!

I've touched her only a little. It's over, he says. Do you feel it?

What a spasm!She has an attack...

She only pretends. If I didn't know her.

What are you doing with my pajamas? Where are you going?

Answer me, where do you go? She is mute... what she has?

Appendicitis.

But what do you do with the pillow, the blanket, the pajamas?

Everybody who marries enjoys half the life.

The lady hunting me out of bed, is a conspiracy. Is it really that she has appendicitis?

Between the wife and husband don't interfere.

But who knows you, go away, I know her appendicite!

But nobody talks about me, I was about to be killed on the Albanian front!

Everybody don't say anything!!

I do not pretend anything, even if I slept with open windows and I have almost got pneumonia!

You get appendicite every time it convienent, don't you, Elena?

Ciociara...

You are wise, you pretend, but I do not believe it I do not believe it!

The appendicitis...

Elena?

'' Mbe '... Do not talk, eh!

Oh, do you know what I will tell you?

Good night!

Bongo, bongo, bongo, I feel good only in Congo,

I do not stay here...

Good night, appendicitis!

Bongo, bongo, bongo, I feel good only in Congo,

I do not stay... You have the appendicitis, call Mom!

Bongo, bongo, bongo, I feel good only in Congo,

I will not stay here... Bongo!

- Bongo, bongo, bongo... - The mother-in-law comes from Congo.

She is here...

The mandrugona has arrived

It is natural... to visit the sick ones,

bury the dead ones...

Bongo, bongo, bongo...

.. I feel ok only in Congo...

.. I do not stay... Ah, dear Ida,

leave the passage free, please. Thank you.

Spy 100 years in prison.

Look who's arrives... - Hello, Alberto.

Dear mom, a short visit?

Elena, my daughter, how are you? Do you suffer a lot? What did he do?

- He gave me a slap! - The scoundrel!

If there was your father... If you think that I saved his company.

I didn't have to marry him!

We knew his humble origins, why should we wonder?

Bongo, bongo, bongo, I feel good only in Congo...

A slap and she called mom and tomorrow goes by the monsignor.

- I do not know anything. - Look, ugly one

Ash my wife where is the cashier's key.

Go away!

Goodbye, my beautiful, goodbye...

Finally he's changed.

He wants to know where is the key of the money drawer.

- Is he leaving? - He prepared his suitcase. The key?

He must look for it! You understand Mommy, he goes with her!

He has the courage to leave when you are sick...

- He lost his head. - But who is this slut?

He says she has a sailor son but I don't believe it...

I stopped your father, I will stop him too!

You have seen her, how she it?

Very provocant. - Provocant?

Gentildonne, I'm leaving, goodbye.

Watch this one with the thermometer...

Ih, here is a mandugona... please, leave the passage free.

Leave the passage free...

Thank you, mamma.

Bongo, bongo, bongo, I'm going to Congo...

Give me the dressing gown!

- But do not you have the pain? - Now the pains begin!

Mom... - Elena...

Did he leave? Yes, Elena.

With your father, it was enough to look at him

But when Alberto called me mandrugona

I realized there was nothing left to do. - And now, Mom?

What do we do? - Elena, he came down.

- in your place, Elena... - You say, mom?

By force, there is no other solution.

You had to see the scene, Erne ', all mutes.

- Mutes? - Yes, mutes, 12 hours without talking.

Wife, sister-in-law and maid, then the mother came, her mute too.

A coalition, did you understand? - And you?

And mute myself, no?

If now I surrender, they take command and I will be their slave for all my life!

- Engineer!

I'm here!

Countess, I'm coming at once! - Okay!

Puntuale! Get your suitcase!

You took all the cards, the money you got... This time it is done.

I answer, you go to the widow. Take your suitcase.

Ready?

Armida, you are...

What do you want?

My wife?

At the hospital? Which?

At the Polyclinic? Elena mia bella!

Ernesto! - Thing? - Elena, at the Polyclinic!

What a disaster! - I do not understand anything...

If for her is the same, I come, I can also drive...

No, for me it is not the same! You drain your suitcase!

And you never see me again!

Where is First Aid, sister?

I am not practical of the place. Mom?

- It started just after you left. - Do you have a lot of sleep?

- A tremendous pain... - Can she still have children?

- Sister Gemma! Sister Gemma! - Who is she?

Sister Gemma? But why do you call? Tell the truth.

Can she have children? Is the intervention dangerous?

- But who is she? -The husband.

- She is visited by the professor. - May I? - No you can not...

They are visiting her, Mom.

Thank you for not leaving, thanks for all you do for Elena, she is a treasure for me.

Think about it... - I got married for love, mom.

You want to love her well, I've put her in your hands, now it is yours.

And as long as I will be divided by her, she is also without mom.

I stand by her side and I am as a mother for her.

But how do you do, not even you have a mom, poor one...

I'll be your mom, I would like to be close to you.

Yes, mom... Stay always close to us.

And where? - I let you decide..

- On the terrace? - You said it, Alberto,I would never have thought...

What is it? The widow?

It started. The deal blow up.

Now I don't care anymore about business... You are only you, my love.

They are visiting her . What will be the answer?

But that one is sane! Who has admitted her?

He came to the ambulance, screaming from the pains.

But what pains? That woman has nothing!

But is it possible? With so many people getting sick,

that one just wants to bother the working ones!

Sorry, I'm her husband, is she okay?

She's okay, she invented the apendicitis.

- Can I see her? - Even beat her!

Yes, thank you...

My daughter! But what happened? What did he do to you?

Nothing, simple injuries.

Is the pillow okay so?

No, put another one, Idare ', do me the favor.

- So? - Aah! I feel like a pasha...

- Engineer, a cigarette? - Yes, lieutenent, thank you.

Will I cough up? - Here is the radio.

There are from the regiment? - Yes.

- What, is it the game? - Yes.

Does it bother you, lieutenant? Does it bother you, Elena?

- What you like, I like too. The tea, ma'am.

Bravo Armida, you interpreted exactly my thoughts!

Is there also the blackberry marmalade? - No, plum marmalade.

Then I bring also the biscuits. - Bravo, dear and beautiful Armida!

How friendly she is, this looks like another house .

Here is the tea. - Come here.

- Albertino dear? - Hello gold little mother, what do you want?

At the entrance we put tiles or the marmite tiles?

You always do as you wish, even if I tell you anything else, put both of them!

On the radio there is Toccata and fuga by Bach!

- Do we make it a Sganassina? - Yes, but now we listen to the radio!

- Armida the phone, take it!

Mamma, who will be?

I hope is the doctor, so I'll tell him today to get out the plaster!

There is the Monsignor on the phone. - Mamma, it's Monsignor,

I greet him! Come on, come on, come on, by...

Dear Monsignor, my respects, how are you?

Yes, I am still nailed, because of my slip...

But I didn't miss it, I saw the Holy Mass on tv, here, in my family...

How am I?

I'm happy to have failed, just think!

Yes, no worries, no bills...

He was right, Mr Tocci. Ah, don't you know that?

I work for a company, 90 thousand lire plus the uncertainties, father,

sometimes that are more than certain...

No, sweetie, father,I am a salesman for a Mantova company.

Yes, unfortunately I will travel 6 days to 7, father.

Eh, it will be painful to be far away from my family...

away from my wife... by my mother-in-law...

from my sister-in-law, father.

Eh... what do you want to do, I was not born to build houses...

Yes, Father. But luckily...

As a child he has always been my dream to travel, father.

Will I be tired? Yes, I'll be tired father, but...

Monsignor, I like to travel.

No, no, I like...

More travel and more I like it. I like, I like, I like...

Do you like chocolates? Do you like it?

- Do not be disturbed. - For charity, offers my firm,

company Capelli di Mantova, famous for chocolates. Please...

- Thank you. - When do you get to Perma?

Modena 14 and 22, Reggio Emilia 14 and 41,

Parma 15 and 02. - But that's good!

Thanks... by now the train is my home.

Do you stop at Parma? - You also stop at "Perma"?

Maybe...

In fact, I will stop!

Are you married?

Eh...

Are you married?

No, bachelor...