All language subtitles for Parks.and.Recreation.S02E02.The.Stakeout.1080p.AMZN.WEBRip.DD5.1.x264-NTb

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German Download
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,669 --> 00:00:03,171 - I JUST WANT TO CHECK 2 00:00:03,204 --> 00:00:05,406 ONE LAST TIME THAT YOU'RE OKAY 3 00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:06,774 ABOUT THIS DATE WITH MARK. 4 00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,542 - OH, MY GOD, I AM SO FINE WITH IT, ANN, SERIOUSLY. 5 00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:09,710 IT'S SO FINE. 6 00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:11,512 AS LONG AS YOU AND I ARE COOL. 7 00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,247 YOU KNOW MY CODE. 8 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:14,548 HOS BEFORE BROS. 9 00:00:14,582 --> 00:00:16,784 UTERUSES BEFORE DUDERUSES. - GOT IT. 10 00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,619 - OVARIES BEFORE BROVARIES. 11 00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:20,421 MM. 12 00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:23,091 YOU MAKE SUCH GOOD COFFEE. 13 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:24,725 - LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE SAYING YOU'RE OKAY WITH IT, 14 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:26,127 BUT I'VE BEEN IN THIS POSITION BEFORE. 15 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,695 AND I HAD A FRIEND WHO DATED AN EX, 16 00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:30,698 AND I SAID I WAS OKAY, BUT I WASN'T ACTUALLY. 17 00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:31,799 IT WAS KIND OF WEIRD. 18 00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,701 - THE THING IS, MARK ISN'T MY EX. 19 00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:35,603 YOU KNOW, WE SLEPT TOGETHER SIX YEARS AGO. 20 00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:37,105 ANYWAY, I'M OVER IT. 21 00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:38,672 OR AM I? I'M JUST KIDDING. 22 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:39,673 - OH. 23 00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:43,644 - OH. OH. 24 00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:45,779 THIS IS ONE OF MY GREATEST BRAINSTORMS EVER. 25 00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:46,580 A COMMUNITY GARDEN. 26 00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:48,716 RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PIT. 27 00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:50,718 WE'RE ENCOURAGING PEOPLE TO JUST COME OUT 28 00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:52,253 AND PLANT WHATEVER THEY WANT. 29 00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:54,788 AND TOM AND I SOMETIMES GET HERE EARLY AND HELP OUT. 30 00:00:54,822 --> 00:00:56,257 - IT'S SO HOT. 31 00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:57,791 I HAD TO GET SOME MORE ICED TEA. 32 00:00:57,825 --> 00:01:00,428 - PEOPLE HAVE JUST REALLY EMBRACED THIS 33 00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:01,729 AND PLANTED THE COOLEST STUFF. 34 00:01:01,762 --> 00:01:03,697 AND TOM IS OUR MASTER HORTICULTURIST. 35 00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,466 HE KNOWS ALL THE SCIENTIFIC NAMES FOR EVERYTHING. 36 00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:06,700 RIGHT, TOM? - YUP. 37 00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,469 - LIKE THIS. WHAT'S THIS, TOM? 38 00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:10,204 - THOSE ARE, OF COURSE, TOMATOES. 39 00:01:10,238 --> 00:01:12,140 OR SOULJABOY TELLEMS. 40 00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:14,375 WHENEVER LESLIE ASKS ME FOR THE LATIN NAMES 41 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:15,609 OF ANY OF OUR PLANTS, 42 00:01:15,643 --> 00:01:17,745 I JUST GIVE HER THE NAMES OF RAPPERS. 43 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:18,646 - AND THOSE OVER THERE? 44 00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:20,648 - THOSE ARE SOME DIDDIES. 45 00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:23,684 THERE'S SOME BONETHUGS AND HARMONIUMS RIGHT HERE. 46 00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:24,885 - GROWING BEAUTIFULLY. 47 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,554 - THOSE LUDACRISES ARE COMING IN GREAT. 48 00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:27,821 - LOOK. SOMEONE PLANTED SOMETHING NEW. 49 00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:29,490 WHAT'S THIS? 50 00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:30,591 WHAT DO YOU THINK? CARROTS? 51 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:35,663 IF THAT'S TRUE, WE HAVE A GARDEN PEST ON OUR HANDS. 52 00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,598 MAYBE SOME KIND OF SPICE? 53 00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:39,300 - YEAH, YOU KNOW, LESLIE, THE BEST WAY TO FIGURE OUT 54 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,234 WHAT KIND OF SPICE THAT IS, 55 00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:42,770 IS ROLL IT UP INTO A JOINT AND SMOKE IT. 56 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,708 [triumphant music] 57 00:01:47,741 --> 00:01:55,749 * 58 00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:05,893 [footsteps] 59 00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:08,229 - RON, DID YOU GET MY TEXT? 60 00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:10,164 - NO. - DID YOU GET MY EMAILS? 61 00:02:10,198 --> 00:02:11,232 - MM-MM. 62 00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:12,800 - DID YOU SEE THAT I PAGED YOU? 63 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,168 - I DID NOT. 64 00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:16,637 - DID YOU CHECK YOUR VOICEMAIL? 65 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:17,905 - I DIDN'T. 66 00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,039 - WE HAVE A CRIMINAL EMERGENCY ON OUR HANDS. 67 00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:21,809 SOMEONE PLANTED A GATEWAY DRUG IN THE COMMUNITY GARDEN. 68 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,677 - OKAY. CALL THE COPS. 69 00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:24,745 - THAT'LL LEAK TO THE PRESS. 70 00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,814 THEN THERE'LL BE AN INVESTIGATION. 71 00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:28,582 AND THEY'LL FIND MY FINGERPRINTS ON THE MANURE. 72 00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:29,683 AND THEN WE'LL LOSE OUR FUNDING. 73 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:30,918 - YOU DON'T HAVE FUNDING. 74 00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:33,654 - AND WE NEVER WILL IF THIS GETS OUT. 75 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:34,888 LOOK, I WILL CALL THE COPS, 76 00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:37,325 BUT JUST GIVE ME ONE DAY TO DEAL WITH THIS INTERNALLY, OKAY? 77 00:02:37,358 --> 00:02:39,260 - SURE. - THANK YOU. 78 00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:42,463 AND LISTEN, IF THIS THING BLOWS UP, 79 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,866 I WAS NEVER HERE. 80 00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,235 - OKAY. 81 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:49,337 [footsteps] 82 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:51,272 I HAVE A HERNIA. 83 00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:53,774 I'VE HAD IT FOR A WHILE. 84 00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:56,810 AND I'VE BEEN IGNORING IT... 85 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:59,513 SUCCESSFULLY, BUT THIS MORNING, 86 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:02,850 I MADE THE MISTAKE OF SNEEZING. 87 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,586 [sneezes] 88 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:06,920 [howls] 89 00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:08,489 BUT AS LONG AS I SIT STILL 90 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:11,392 AND DON'T MOVE MY HEAD 91 00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:14,562 OR TORSO, 92 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,764 I'M GOOD, I GOT THIS. 93 00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:18,366 - WE NEED TO FIND OUT WHO WE'RE DEALING WITH. 94 00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,634 WHO IS THIS PERSON? WHO IS THIS KINGPIN? 95 00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:23,671 - IT'S A 13-YEAR-OLD KID NAMED STEVIE 96 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:26,307 WHO LIKES TO GET HIGH AND MAKE HIS TRANSFORMERS LOOK 97 00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:27,241 LIKE THEY'RE HAVING SEX TOGETHER. 98 00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:29,410 - I WOULD LIKE TO BE PRESIDENT SOME DAY, 99 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,579 SO, NO, I HAVE NOT SMOKED MARIJUANA. 100 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:34,782 I ATE A BROWNIE ONCE. 101 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:35,883 AT A PARTY IN COLLEGE. 102 00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,718 IT WAS INTENSE. 103 00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,987 IT WAS KIND OF INDESCRIBABLE, ACTUALLY. 104 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,755 I FELT LIKE I WAS FLOATING. 105 00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:44,325 TURNS OUT THERE WASN'T ANY POT IN THE BROWNIE. 106 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,660 IT WAS JUST AN INSANELY GOOD BROWNIE. 107 00:03:46,694 --> 00:03:49,897 YOU KNOW, IF WE CATCH HIM, THEN WE AVOID A SCANDAL. 108 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,565 'CAUSE WE FLIP THE HEADLINE. 109 00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,967 AND IT'S NOT "COMMUNITY GARDEN INFESTED WITH POT," 110 00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,869 IT'S "BRAVE PUBLIC SERVANTS 111 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,838 "RID NEIGHBORHOOD OF DRUGS, 112 00:03:57,871 --> 00:04:00,308 EARN PRAISE FROM MAYOR, COMMA, EVERYONE." 113 00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:01,709 WE GOTTA CATCH THIS GUY. 114 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:05,646 GET THE VAN, MEET ME AT 7:00. 115 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:07,481 IT'S STAKEOUT TIME. 116 00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:09,383 - APRIL. 117 00:04:09,417 --> 00:04:11,385 - YEAH? 118 00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:13,321 - GET MY LUNCH FOR ME, PLEASE. 119 00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:14,888 - OKAY, LIKE ORDER YOU SOMETHING? 120 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:19,059 - NO, GET IT FROM THERE. 121 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,395 - IS THIS SOME KIND OF WEIRD POWER TRIP? 122 00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:23,297 - PLEASE. 123 00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,639 THANK YOU. THAT'LL BE ALL. 124 00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:33,674 - YOU'RE WELCOME. 125 00:04:45,386 --> 00:04:46,687 - I HAVE STAKEOUT SUPPLIES. 126 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,756 THIS IS STUFF THAT WE'RE PROBABLY GONNA NEED. 127 00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:52,793 WE HAVE NOTEPADS, PENCILS, AND PENCIL CASE. 128 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,863 SHAKABLE WHIPPED CREAM. CAMERAS. 129 00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,498 UM, GORP. 130 00:04:57,531 --> 00:05:00,468 UH, AND... 131 00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:01,702 CANDY NECKLACES. 132 00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,671 IT'S LIKE WE'RE REAL POLICE. 133 00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:07,508 AND I MADE US A MIX CD. 134 00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:10,711 IT'S ALL FILLED WITH SONGS ABOUT PEOPLE WATCHING PEOPLE. 135 00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,446 IT'S MOSTLY STING. 136 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:13,714 AND LOOK, I PUT OUR FACES ON THERE. 137 00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:15,048 - IT'S REALLY COOL. 138 00:05:15,082 --> 00:05:16,717 - ARE YOU GONNA WEAR THAT SHIRT? 139 00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:18,786 - YEAH. YOU LIKE IT? 140 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:19,987 - TOMMY HILFIGER? 141 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,422 - NO, TOM HAVERFORD. 142 00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:22,523 I SPENT 120 BUCKS TO GET IT MONOGRAMMED. 143 00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:23,724 - OKAY, HERE YOU GO. 144 00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:24,925 - EVERYONE THINKS IT'S TOMMY HILFIGER. 145 00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,494 - WELL, HERE, YOU SHOULD BE WEARING SOMETHING LIKE THIS. 146 00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:27,761 TAKE THIS. 147 00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:28,629 WEAR BLACK. - DO I HAVE TO? 148 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:29,997 - BLACK IS WHAT YOU WEAR IN A STAKEOUT. 149 00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,799 OKAY, I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW THIS WORKS. 150 00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,534 - JUST LET ME FOCUS UP ON THIS. 151 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,835 - PRETTY BUMMED THIS FITS. 152 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:37,104 - OKAY, NOW WE JUST NEED TO TAKE A TEST SHOT 153 00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,472 AND SEE HOW THIS GOES. 154 00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:39,640 - YEAH, TAKE A TEST SHOT. YOU READY? 155 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:40,908 JUST FOCUS UP ON THE PIT. 156 00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:41,742 ALL RIGHT. - STOP. 157 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:43,844 - FOCUS UP RIGHT WHERE THE-- - STOP. 158 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,413 - FOCUS UP RIGHT WHERE THE WEED-- 159 00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:46,780 - STOP. STOP. 160 00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:49,850 - LESLIE SWEARS IT'S OKAY. 161 00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:51,785 SO I'M GOING OUT WITH MARK. 162 00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:53,020 I GOT TO GET BACK OUT THERE. 163 00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,589 WHEN ANDY AND I USED TO GO TO THE MOVIES, 164 00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:58,492 HE WOULD ALWAYS TRY TO GUESS THE ENDING OF THE MOVIE. 165 00:05:58,526 --> 00:05:59,893 AND HE WOULD ALWAYS GUESS 166 00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:03,997 THAT THE MAIN CHARACTER HAD BEEN DEAD THE WHOLE TIME. 167 00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:06,500 EVEN WHEN WE SAW RATATOUILLE. 168 00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,704 [door slams] 169 00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:12,906 - OH, LOOK, IT'S MARK. 170 00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:15,576 [shutter snapping] 171 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:16,777 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 172 00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:19,680 - WHAT? I'M JUST CHECKING TO MAKE SURE THIS LENS WORKS. 173 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,714 GOOD. YEAH. 174 00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:26,720 - HEY. ANN. - HEY. 175 00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:27,721 - SO ARE YOU READY TO GO? 176 00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:31,492 - OH, NO, I NEED ANOTHER HOUR TO GET READY. 177 00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,727 - SERIOUSLY? 'CAUSE I THINK THE MOVIE STARTS IN LIKE... 178 00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:36,697 OH, YOU'RE--YOU'RE JOKING AROUND RIGHT NOW. 179 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,633 - WOW, THIS IS GONNA BE FUN. 180 00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,502 - YEAH, WELL, YOU KNOW, WITH A BODY LIKE THIS, 181 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,837 YOU DON'T GET THE BRAINS TOO. 182 00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:45,839 - EW. - THAT WAS SILLY. 183 00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,741 [shutter snapping] 184 00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:48,776 - WHOA, ARE THEY DATING NOW? 185 00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:50,811 BRENDANAWICZ IS THE MAN. 186 00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:52,546 THIS IS BRENDANAWICZ'S LIFE: 187 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:53,881 HOT CHICK FROM THE NEWSPAPER, 188 00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,716 HOT CHICK FROM THE POST OFFICE, 189 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:56,950 HOT CHICK FROM THE HOSPITAL. 190 00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:58,185 - HER NAME'S ANN. YOU KNOW HER NAME. 191 00:06:58,218 --> 00:06:59,587 HER NAME'S ANN. 192 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:01,455 - I'M JUST SAYING, NOBODY TURNS HIM DOWN. 193 00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:02,856 - I DID. 194 00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,725 - [laughing] YEAH. 195 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,593 - YEAH, I DID. 196 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,795 - WE WERE DRUNK, AND HE TRIED TO KISS ME, 197 00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:11,799 AND I SAID, "NUH-UH, NO, SIR, MARK BRENDANAWICZ. 198 00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,867 I DON'T NEED YOUR BUSINESS HERE." 199 00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:17,805 GET DOWN! [shutter snapping] 200 00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:22,876 [vacuum whirs] 201 00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:30,183 - WORKING LATE? 202 00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:32,820 - YUP. 203 00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:45,966 - [vocalizes] 204 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:47,167 * SHOVEL GUITAR 205 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:48,068 * SHOVEL GUITAR 206 00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:50,704 * SOMEBODY WANTS TO PLAY SHOVEL GUITAR * 207 00:07:50,738 --> 00:07:55,142 - LESLIE'S BEEN PLAYING SHOVEL GUITAR FOR ABOUT AN HOUR NOW. 208 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:56,977 - * BUCKET DRUM 209 00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,579 * BUCKET DRUM 210 00:07:58,612 --> 00:07:59,847 YOU'RE NOT FROM HERE, RIGHT? 211 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:00,848 - NO, I'M FROM SOUTH CAROLINA. 212 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:02,750 - BUT YOU MOVED TO SOUTH CAROLINA FROM WHERE? 213 00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:04,785 - MY MOTHER'S UTERUS. 214 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,954 - BUT YOU WERE CONCEIVED IN LIBYA, RIGHT? 215 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,622 - WOW. NO. 216 00:08:08,656 --> 00:08:09,723 - I WAS CONCEIVED IN AMERICA. 217 00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:10,658 MY PARENTS ARE INDIAN. 218 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,860 - WHERE DID THE NAME HAVERFORD COME FROM? 219 00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:17,531 - MY BIRTH NAME IS DARWISH ZUBAIR ISMAIL GANI. 220 00:08:17,565 --> 00:08:18,899 THEN I CHANGED IT TO TOM HAVERFORD 221 00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:21,535 BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, BROWN GUYS 222 00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:22,603 WITH FUNNY-SOUNDING MUSLIM NAMES 223 00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:25,706 DON'T MAKE IT REALLY FAR IN POLITICS. 224 00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:26,774 - WHAT ABOUT BARACK OBAMA? 225 00:08:26,807 --> 00:08:28,208 - OKAY, YEAH, FINE, BARACK OBAMA. 226 00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,811 IF I KNEW A DUDE NAMED BARACK OBAMA 227 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:32,012 WAS GONNA BE ELECTED PRESIDENT, 228 00:08:32,045 --> 00:08:33,614 YEAH, MAYBE I WOULDN'T HAVE CHANGED IT. 229 00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:34,615 - DID YOU HEAR THAT NOISE? 230 00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:36,584 OH, MY GOD, IT'S THE KINGPIN. 231 00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:38,652 WRITE THIS DOWN. 232 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:43,624 OKAY, WHITE MALE, LIGHT BROWN HAIR. 233 00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:45,192 - JUST TAKE PICTURES. 234 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:46,894 - OH, MY GOD. IT LOOKS LIKE ANDY. 235 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,096 - THAT IS ANDY. 236 00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:50,698 - THAT IS ANDY. 237 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,733 ANDY IS THE KINGPIN. 238 00:08:55,603 --> 00:08:57,838 - ANDY, COME HERE. - OH, HEY, YOU GUYS. 239 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,106 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 240 00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:00,007 - SHH. - IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. 241 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,709 - QUIETLY. - [whispers] WHAT HAPPENED? 242 00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,611 - YOU'RE LIVING IN THE PIT NOW? 243 00:09:03,644 --> 00:09:04,878 - FOR NOW, YEAH. IT'S AWESOME. 244 00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:06,914 SOMEBODY JUST PLANTED A GARDEN DOWN THERE 245 00:09:06,947 --> 00:09:08,716 WITH FRUITS AND VEGETABLES, SO I'M GETTING A LOT OF VITAMINS. 246 00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:10,884 - YEAH, THAT'S OUR COMMUNITY GARDEN. 247 00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:14,688 - YEAH, AND SOMEONE PLANTED A WHOLE MESS OF WEED 248 00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:15,689 NEXT TO THE TOMATOES. 249 00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:16,657 - OH, DON'T LOOK AT ME. 250 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,258 THERE'S WEED DOWN THERE? 251 00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:19,760 I THOUGHT THAT WAS THE TOPS OF CARROTS. 252 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:22,663 - RIGHT, I KNOW. LISTEN, WE'RE ON A STAKEOUT, OKAY? 253 00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:23,997 SO WHY DON'T YOU COME TO THE VAN AND HELP US? 254 00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,198 WE'RE TRYING TO CATCH THE GUY. 255 00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,299 MAYBE YOU CAN TELL US WHAT YOU'VE SEEN. 256 00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:27,801 - I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE A ROCK FIGHT 257 00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:29,069 WITH THIS CRAZY GUY. 258 00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:32,706 HE'S LIKE 20 MINUTES LATE. ALL RIGHT. 259 00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:33,707 LET'S DO IT. - OKAY. 260 00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:38,345 - DO YOU LIVE HERE? 261 00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,013 - APRIL? 262 00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:41,749 - YEAH, DO YOU LIVE HERE? 263 00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:42,883 - NO. 264 00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:46,720 - CATCH. 265 00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:48,088 YEAH, I THOUGHT SO. 266 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:51,324 I WENT HOME, BUT I HAD THIS STRANGE FEELING 267 00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:52,626 THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU, 268 00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:53,727 SO I CAME BACK. 269 00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:56,229 - IT'S JUST A MINOR MEDICAL ISSUE. 270 00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,831 - AIDS? 271 00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:59,032 - NO, I'M SAFE. 272 00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:00,033 - BLINDNESS? 273 00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,735 - NO. 274 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:03,170 - IS IT LIKE A PARASITE OR A VIRUS OR SOMETHING 275 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:04,171 YOU GET FROM A BEE? 276 00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,674 - I HAVE A HERNIA. 277 00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:07,741 - DO YOU HAVE SYPHILIS? 278 00:10:07,775 --> 00:10:09,409 - I SAID IT'S A HERNIA. 279 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,245 - I KNOW. IT'S POSSIBLE TO HAVE TWO THINGS. 280 00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,982 DO YOU NEED A RIDE TO THE HOSPITAL? 281 00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:15,983 - YES, PLEASE. 282 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,418 - OKAY, BUT I RODE MY BIKE HERE, 283 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,187 SO I HAVE TO GO HOME AND GET MY DAD'S STATION WAGON. 284 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,255 - THANK YOU. 285 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:25,092 - BYE. 286 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:28,996 [footsteps] 287 00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,063 - YOU STILL HERE? 288 00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:32,766 - YEAH. I JUST WANTED TO SEE IF YOU COULD TELL. 289 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,709 - ARE YOU STILL HERE? 290 00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:44,177 - IT IS REALLY GREAT TO HAVE SOMEBODY TO TALK TO. 291 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,345 MAN, OH, MAN. 292 00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,080 SO HOW'S ANN? SHE'S DOING GOOD? 293 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,783 OH, I MISS HER SO MUCH, IT'S RIDICULOUS. 294 00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:50,884 HOW'S SHE DOING? 295 00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:52,886 - DOING GOOD TONIGHT. SHE'S OUT ON A-- 296 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,789 - ANN IS GREAT. 297 00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:58,158 AND I BET SHE REALLY MISSES YOU. 298 00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:00,260 OH, I'M GONNA NEED MORE OF THESE IF I'M GONNA STAY UP TONIGHT. 299 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:01,729 - IS THAT CANDY? 300 00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:02,462 - YEAH, IT'S A NECKLACE MADE OUT OF CANDY. 301 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,265 WANT ONE? - OH, ALL RIGHT. 302 00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,935 GREAT. ALL I'VE HAD IS FRUITS AND VEGETABLES... 303 00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:09,169 FOR WEEKS NOW. 304 00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:11,404 MM. [crunching] 305 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:14,674 OH, MY GOD. OH. 306 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,711 - YOU KNOW THERE'S A STRING IN THERE. 307 00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:19,813 - NOT IN THIS ONE. 308 00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:24,284 INSTANT SUGAR HIGH. SUGAR HIGH. SUGAR HIT HIGH. 309 00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:26,419 SUGAR HIGH. HIGH. 310 00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:28,822 OH, WOW. MM. - ARE YOU OKAY? 311 00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:32,092 - WHOO-HOO-HOO. SUGAR SLAM. 312 00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,093 - MAYBE WE SHOULD GET YOU SOMETHING 313 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:34,427 MORE SUBSTANTIAL TO EAT. 314 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:35,963 - MM-HMM. I'M IN. 315 00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:40,267 - HEY, BRING ME BACK TWO CHEESEBURGERS AND A GREEN TEA. 316 00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:48,275 OH, COME ON. YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. 317 00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:52,412 - SO THAT WAS FUN. 318 00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:54,748 - YEAH, IT REALLY WAS. 319 00:11:54,782 --> 00:11:55,482 - SURPRISINGLY FUN. 320 00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:56,984 - UH, YOU KNOW WHAT, 321 00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:59,853 I HAVE BEEN A PERFECT GENTLEMAN THIS EVENING. 322 00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,755 IN FACT, WATCH THIS. 323 00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:04,391 I WOULD LIKE YOU TO NOW PLEASE INVITE ME IN FOR A NIGHTCAP. 324 00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:05,458 - NOT A CHANCE. 325 00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:07,094 - NO, NO, NO, NO. JUST WATCH-- 326 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,295 WATCH WHAT I'M GONNA DO. 327 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:09,863 - OH, OKAY. - JUST ASK ME IN FOR A NIGHTCAP. 328 00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:11,431 - WILL YOU COME IN FOR A NIGHTCAP? 329 00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:12,833 - YES, I WILL. 330 00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,101 NO, NO, DAMN. 331 00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,503 DRATS, I WAS GONNA PLAN TO NOT. 332 00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:19,172 - W-W-WAIT. LOOK. 333 00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:22,309 THAT GUY'S TRYING TO BREAK INTO THAT VAN. 334 00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:23,476 - YOU KNOW WHAT, IT DOES LOOK 335 00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:24,477 LIKE HE'S BREAKING INTO THAT VAN. 336 00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:27,180 [dialing] - WHOO! 337 00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:29,249 - 911. - HI, THERE. 338 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:32,385 - SO, ANDY, DO YOU, LIKE, SPY ON ANN 339 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:33,787 FROM THE PIT? 340 00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:36,456 - NO. NO. 341 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:37,858 I JUST LIKE BEING NEARBY. 342 00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:40,293 THAT WAY IF SHE WANTS ME BACK, 343 00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:42,162 I COULD BE AT HER HOUSE, LIKE, IN TWO SECONDS 344 00:12:42,195 --> 00:12:44,798 BEFORE SHE CHANGES HER MIND. 345 00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:46,834 - I DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW HEALTHY THAT IS. 346 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:49,069 I MEAN, YOU GUYS AREN'T EVEN DATING ANYMORE. 347 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,470 SHE MIGHT BE DATING SOMEBODY ELSE. 348 00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:54,007 - IS SHE? - WHAT? 349 00:12:54,041 --> 00:12:55,809 - IS SHE DATING SOMEBODY ELSE? - HUH? WHAT? 350 00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:57,377 - YOU JUST SAID ANN MIGHT BE DATING SOMEBODY ELSE. IS SHE? 351 00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:58,946 - I DIDN'T SAY THAT. - WHO IS SHE DATING? 352 00:12:58,979 --> 00:13:00,380 - NOBODY. MARK. 353 00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:03,016 - THAT'S COOL. 354 00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:04,517 OH, MY GOD! 355 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:08,822 - 641 TO BASE. I'M AT THE VEHICLE NOW. 356 00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:15,428 HOW ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT, SIR? 357 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,597 - I'M ALL RIGHT, OFFICER. HOW ARE YOU? 358 00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,066 - I'M RESPONDING TO A 911 CALL 359 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,902 ABOUT A SUSPICIOUS PERSON BREAKING INTO A VAN. 360 00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:24,171 I NEED YOU TO STEP OUT AND SHOW ME SOME I.D. 361 00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:26,306 - NO, IT'S OKAY. MY NAME'S TOM HAVERFORD. 362 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:27,574 I WORK FOR THE PARKS DEPARTMENT. 363 00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:29,009 I JUST GOT LOCKED OUT OF THE VAN. 364 00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:30,343 I HAD TO JIMMY MY WAY BACK IN. 365 00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:31,912 - WELL, WHY DON'T YOU JIMMY YOUR WAY OUT 366 00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:32,745 AND SHOW ME SOME I.D.? 367 00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:35,615 - UM, WELL, I JUST TOLD YOU MY I.D., 368 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:36,850 SO WHAT'S THE CRIME HERE? 369 00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:38,551 PARKING WHILE INDIAN? 370 00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:40,187 - NO, THERE'S NO STEREOTYPES 371 00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,255 ABOUT INDIANS SITTING IN VEHICLES. 372 00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:47,427 - ALL RIGHT, FINE, HERE'S MY I.D. 373 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,295 NICE JOB, PAUL BLART. 374 00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,163 WHY DON'T YOU HEAD BACK TO THE MALL, 375 00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:52,465 MAKE SURE NOBODY'S BREAKING INTO LADY FOOT LOCKER? 376 00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:55,602 - HEY, I'M VERY CLOSE RIGHT NOW TO PLACING YOU UNDER ARREST 377 00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:56,469 FOR DISORDERLY CONDUCT. 378 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,105 STEP OUT OF THE VAN. 379 00:13:58,138 --> 00:13:59,639 - I'LL STEP OUT OF YOUR MAMA'S VAN. 380 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,208 [screams] 381 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:02,475 - WHAT'S WRONG? - I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! 382 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:04,111 I'M A CITY EMPLOYEE, MAN. COME ON! 383 00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:05,412 - CALM DOWN. - LESLIE! 384 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,086 - MOTION SENSORS. 385 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:16,523 - OH, MY GOD. 386 00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,558 EXCUSE ME. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 387 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,193 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GUY THAT WAS IN THAT VAN? 388 00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:21,995 - COPS TOOK HIM. 389 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,230 - WHAT? 390 00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:24,464 OH, MY GOD. - ANN AND MARK! 391 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:26,233 - ANDY. 392 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:27,500 - IT'S ANN AND MARK. 393 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,369 - ANDY. - LESLIE? 394 00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:30,637 - OH. - LESLIE KNOPE. 395 00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:32,005 - HEY. - HEY. 396 00:14:32,039 --> 00:14:34,007 - WOW. - WE CAUGHT A CRIMINAL. 397 00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:34,874 DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS? 398 00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,643 - YEAH, HE WAS BREAKING INTO THIS VAN, 399 00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:39,146 AND THEY DRAGGED HIM AWAY. 400 00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:41,982 IT WAS CRAZY. - RIGHT HERE. 401 00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,450 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 402 00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:50,223 - IF YOU COULD JUST STOP WRITING FOR A SECOND 403 00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:51,124 AND JUST FOCUS HERE, 'CAUSE-- 404 00:14:51,158 --> 00:14:52,559 - MA'AM, MA'AM, 405 00:14:52,592 --> 00:14:54,327 AS I'VE TOLD YOU SEVERAL TIMES ALREADY, 406 00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:55,662 THIS IS A POLICE MATTER. 407 00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:59,132 - WELL, IT DOESN'T SEEM TO MATTER TO THE POLICE. 408 00:14:59,166 --> 00:15:01,668 - OKAY, NICE JOB WITH THAT, BUT LISTEN-- 409 00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:03,203 - LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. 410 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,138 IS IT THE POLICY OF THE PAWNEE POLICE DEPARTMENT 411 00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:07,240 TO ARREST PEOPLE WHEN THEY TRY TO GET INTO THEIR OWN VAN? 412 00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:08,508 - NO. 413 00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:10,243 AND, THANKFULLY, THAT'S NOT WHAT HAPPENED. 414 00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:11,644 SO NOW COULD YOU PLEASE GO HOME 415 00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,246 AND GET SOME SLEEP AND LET THIS MATTER BE RESOLVED? 416 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,682 - THANK YOU, OFFICER. LET'S JUST GO HOME, LESLIE. 417 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:17,217 - YEAH, LET'S GO HOME. - LET'S JUST GO HOME. 418 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,285 - NO! - LET'S JUST GO HOME. 419 00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:21,221 - NO! 420 00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,255 - EASY. 421 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:23,523 - NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! - LESLIE. 422 00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:24,657 - OKAY, COME WITH ME, PLEASE. 423 00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:25,492 - FINE, I'D LIKE TO COME WITH YOU. 424 00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,360 - YOUR FRIEND, HE ACTED LIKE AN ASS, 425 00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,096 AND YOU GOT TO BELIEVE ME, HE DIDN'T GIVE ME A CHOICE. 426 00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,330 - YOUR NAME'S DAVE, RIGHT? 427 00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:31,364 CAN I CALL YOU DAVE? 428 00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:33,967 - MY MOTHER LIKES DAVID, 429 00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:35,202 BUT I'M PRETTY SPLIT ON-- 430 00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:37,037 - I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, DAVE. 431 00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:38,271 YOU REALLY STEPPED IN IT. 432 00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:39,106 - WHAT? 433 00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:41,274 - I'M A GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE, DAVID. 434 00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:42,142 AND SO IS YOUR PRISONER. 435 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,544 IF I WANTED TO, I COULD GET ON THE HORN, 436 00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:47,147 AND I COULD HAVE RON SWANSON DOWN HERE, 437 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:48,381 KICKING DOWN YOUR DOORS. 438 00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:50,183 YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. YOU HEARD ME. 439 00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:51,451 RON SWANSON. 440 00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:57,057 - WHAT BRANCH OF GOVERNMENT ARE YOU IN? 441 00:15:59,592 --> 00:16:00,627 - PARKS AND RECREATION. 442 00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,429 - PARKS AND RECREATION? - YES. 443 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,564 DO I STUTTER? 444 00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:07,100 - LOOK, MISS KNOPE, 445 00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:09,169 IT WASN'T JUST HIS BEHAVIOR, OKAY? 446 00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,271 I THINK YOUR FRIEND MIGHT BE SOME KIND OF A PERVERT. 447 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,740 - NO, LOOK, THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE THINK WHEN THEY FIRST MEET HIM 448 00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,442 BUT HE'S ALL TALK. 449 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,476 - NO, NO, NO, I'M BEING SERIOUS. 450 00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:17,410 WE SEARCHED THE VAN, 451 00:16:17,444 --> 00:16:19,179 AND WE FOUND A LOT OF DISTURBING THINGS. 452 00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:21,581 SOME PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY EQUIPMENT 453 00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:24,151 AND THESE PICTURES OF SOME PEOPLE ON A DATE. 454 00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:27,254 WE ALSO FOUND AN ENORMOUS AMOUNT OF MANURE 455 00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:30,057 AND A VERY INAPPROPRIATE AMOUNT OF CANDY. 456 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:33,793 - OKAY, LOOK, TOM AND I WERE IN THAT VAN TOGETHER. 457 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,462 WE WERE STAKING OUT THE COMMUNITY GARDEN 458 00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:37,364 BECAUSE SOMEBODY PLANTED MARIJUANA IN IT. 459 00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,266 I BROUGHT THE CANDY, AND I BROUGHT A LOT OF IT 460 00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:40,733 BECAUSE I LOVE CANDY. 461 00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:43,236 I TOOK THE PICTURES. 462 00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:46,073 MY BEST FRIEND WAS GOING ON A DATE WITH MY EX-LOVER. 463 00:16:47,074 --> 00:16:48,775 IT'S BEEN A VERY LONG NIGHT. 464 00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,143 BUT TOM IS NOT A PERVERT, 465 00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:51,544 AND HE SHOULDN'T BE IN JAIL. 466 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,215 WELL, THEY'RE GONNA RELEASE HIM. 467 00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:56,283 IN A LITTLE WHILE. 468 00:16:56,316 --> 00:16:58,451 - OH, THANK GOD. 469 00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,487 - SHOULD I GET YOU GUYS HOME RIGHT NOW? 470 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,821 - YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU TWO GO AHEAD. 471 00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,256 I'M GONNA STAY HERE AND WAIT FOR TOM. 472 00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:04,357 - ARE YOU SURE? 473 00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:05,825 - YEAH. 474 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,627 PRISON CHANGES A MAN. 475 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,362 I THINK HE'LL PROBABLY WANT TO SEE A FAMILIAR FACE 476 00:17:09,396 --> 00:17:10,530 WHEN HE GETS BACK ON THE OUTSIDE. 477 00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:11,798 - WELL, OKAY, THEN. 478 00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:16,669 SEE YOU, LESLIE. 479 00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,338 - [groans] 480 00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:23,143 - YO. I HAD TO WAIT TILL MY DAD FELL ASLEEP 481 00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:25,378 SO I COULD STEAL HIS KEYS. 482 00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:26,379 YOU READY? 483 00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:31,251 - I WAS BORN READY. 484 00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,220 I'M RON [bleep] SWANSON. 485 00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:37,457 EASY. CARE-- [moans] 486 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:39,359 CAREFUL. 487 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,661 [pants] 488 00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:44,297 [shouts] 489 00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:47,200 - ANN, I REALLY DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD INVITE ME IN. 490 00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,436 TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPENED LAST TIME. 491 00:17:49,469 --> 00:17:51,571 - [laughs] 492 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:54,207 - SO I GUESS I'LL JUST... 493 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:55,542 SEE YOU TOMORROW. - OKAY. 494 00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,245 - OKAY. 495 00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:02,382 - BYE. 496 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,317 - HEY, YOU KIND OF KISSED ME. 497 00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:07,287 - YES, I DID, AND NOW WE BOTH HAVE HERPES. 498 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,289 I'LL SEE YOU LATER. - [laughs] 499 00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,324 [rustling] 500 00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,795 [car door shuts] 501 00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,305 - LESLIE. THANKS FOR WAITING. 502 00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:26,906 APPRECIATE IT. - MOTHER TERESA. 503 00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:30,643 IT'S NOT YOUR CHOCOLATE. DON'T--GET YOUR HANDS OFF THAT. 504 00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:33,213 - WAKE UP. - WHAT? 505 00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:34,581 IS THIS YOUR HOUSE? WHERE ARE WE? 506 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:35,882 - HEY, YOU'RE AWAKE. 507 00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:37,917 - OH, YEAH. 508 00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,287 THANKS FOR THE COAT. 509 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,621 - IT'S NO PROBLEM. YOU CAN KEEP IT. 510 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:42,655 - REALLY? 511 00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:44,524 - ACTUALLY, NO. 512 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,693 I-I NEED THAT FOR MY UNIFORM. 513 00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:49,162 BUT I CAN GIVE YOU A RIDE BACK TO YOUR CAR. 514 00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:50,197 - OKAY. 515 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:51,831 WE'LL TALK ABOUT THE COAT. 516 00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,566 - I CAN'T GIVE IT TO YOU. 517 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:54,667 YOU UNDERSTAND? - OKAY. 518 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:59,306 - SO WHERE'S THAT MARIJUANA AT? 519 00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,740 - UM, IT'S DOWN IN THE GARDEN. 520 00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:02,209 - GOOD MEETING YOU, MAN. 521 00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:05,845 SHOULD GRAB A DRINK OR SOMETHING SOME TIME. 522 00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:07,480 - I JUST HOPE THAT ANN AND MARK GOT HOME OKAY. 523 00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:08,881 THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS, YOU KNOW. 524 00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:11,284 THAT ANN IS HOME, AND SHE'S OKAY. 525 00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:13,953 AND THAT MARK IS ALSO OKAY, AND HE IS IN HIS HOME. 526 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,955 JUST IMPORTANT THAT THEY'RE BOTH 527 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,190 IN THEIR HOMES. - LESLIE! 528 00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:18,558 MARK'S AN IDIOT. 529 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:19,959 YOU COULD DO A LOT BETTER THAN HIM. 530 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,961 FORGET ABOUT HIM. 531 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,964 THANKS, TOM. 532 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,733 - I DIDN'T MEAN ME. 533 00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:28,568 KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS, KNOPE. 534 00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:32,272 I SWEAR TO GOD, IT ACTUALLY--IT WAS THERE. 535 00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:35,475 - THESE ARE CARROTS. - DUH. 536 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,210 YOU DON'T THINK I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE 537 00:19:37,244 --> 00:19:39,812 BETWEEN CARROTS AND MARIJUANA? 538 00:19:39,846 --> 00:19:43,783 - IS THAT THE HOUSE THERE WHERE YOUR BEST FRIEND LIVES? 539 00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:47,487 WHERE SHE SAW THE VAN FROM? - YEAH. 540 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,555 - OKAY, I GET IT. 541 00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:49,856 - WHAT? 542 00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,524 - WELL, YOU WANTED TO CHECK UP ON YOUR FRIEND 543 00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:53,326 AND THAT GUY, YOUR EX, 544 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,928 SO YOU MADE UP A STORY ABOUT WEED 545 00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:57,330 SO YOU COULD STAKE OUT THEIR DATE. 546 00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:58,631 - NO, I DID NOT. 547 00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:00,633 THERE ACTUALLY WAS WEED HERE. - IT'S OKAY. 548 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:04,504 I THINK IT'S KIND OF CUTE. 549 00:20:07,274 --> 00:20:09,008 I LIKE MISS KNOPE. I LIKED HER. 550 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:11,978 I GOTTA SAY, WHEN I FIRST MET HER, 551 00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:13,413 I DIDN'T CARE MUCH FOR HER, 552 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:16,983 BECAUSE, LIKE 99% OF THE PEOPLE IN ANY GIVEN DAY 553 00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:19,252 OF MY LIFE, SHE WAS VERY BELLIGERENT 554 00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:20,687 AND DISAGREEABLE. 555 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:24,691 MISS KNOPE WAS ATTRACTIVE TO ME AS A MAN. 556 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:28,261 I WAS ATTRACTED TO HER IN HER DEMEANOR. 557 00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:30,797 I WAS ATTRACTED TO HER IN A SEXUAL MANNER 558 00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:34,033 THAT WAS APPROPRIATE. 559 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:35,868 CAN WE--I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE. 560 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:39,306 - [sighs] WHAT A CRAZY NIGHT. 561 00:20:39,339 --> 00:20:40,307 HUH, PARTNER? 562 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:42,342 WANT TO GO GET SOME BREAKFAST? 563 00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,277 - WHAT? NO. TAKE ME HOME. 564 00:20:44,311 --> 00:20:45,445 WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 565 00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:46,779 - * I'LL BE WATCHING YOU 566 00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:47,980 - OH, MY GOD. 567 00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:49,782 OH, MY GOD, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS ON! 568 00:20:49,816 --> 00:20:51,618 - * EVERY SINGLE DAY 569 00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:52,985 - I WONDER IF MINI GOLF IS OPEN. 570 00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:54,821 - HOME! 571 00:20:56,923 --> 00:20:58,925 [muffled chatter] 572 00:20:58,958 --> 00:21:00,059 - ANN-DANAWICZ, 573 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,528 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? 574 00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:02,862 EATING? LOVE IT. 575 00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,464 OH, HEY, JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU 576 00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:05,932 FOR HAVING ME ARRESTED AS A PERVERT THE OTHER NIGHT. 577 00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:06,933 THAT WAS COOL. 578 00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:09,436 PEACE. 579 00:21:09,469 --> 00:21:10,670 - UH, WE DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE A PERVERT. 580 00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:11,804 WE THOUGHT YOU WERE A CRIMINAL. 581 00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:15,375 - FOR THE RECORD, I STILL ACTUALLY KIND OF THINK 582 00:21:15,408 --> 00:21:17,410 HE'S A PERVERT. 37512

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.