Original subtitles

Weight on the downhill ski. That's what I can't do.

The rest is easy. Stand on the slope and push off.

Sorry. I was explaining to my friend here...

We're going to Sestriere.

As I was saying, weight on the downhill ski.

- I know. - That's what I can't...

A jerky movement and my headache's back.

Will the mountain do me good?

- It will. - I'm alredy short of breath.

Ilde!

Thank you, darling. I hope I'll be all right.

Poor baby.

Always ruffling my hair.

See? He's very tense.

I hope the mountain air does him good.

I only come here for him.

I left my poor mother alone at home for the holidays.

- Why didn't you bring her? - He didn't like the idea.

Everything bothers him.

It's your own fault.

You mother him too much.

You spoil him rotten.

Take a tip from me. Riccardo is well trained.

I always do the oposite of what he says.

Darling, do you want the top or bottom bunk?

I'd rather the top. - Then you'll be on the bottom.

- Yes, dear. - On the bottom.

See? She always contradicts me.

Actually, I want to sleep on the bottom.

It's dangerous on top.

I'm resigned. Oh, this pain ...

You'll feel better, when we get there.

Big things are ahead. Look at that...

- Leggy hostesses.

That's the Hotel Delle Torri. We're at the Principi di Piemonte.

They may have naked hostesses there.

We must live it up, show some initiative.

- With our wives in tow? - We can lose them.

We can throw them off a cliff ...

Riccardo, coming to bed?

- Off you go. - Yes, dear.

Sometimes I feel like ... - Go to bed.

We've got to go for it.

Go for it...

Good evening

Can I do anything for you?

Are you French?

English?

German?

Deaf-mute?

If there's anything I can do for you ...

-So you finally come back.

Go for it, he says. Yes, sure.

I tried.

Darling, coffee for you too?

Yes. Make it weak. Coffee makes you tense.

- Get two for us, will you? - Okay, four.

Spiripozzo. The money, darling.

What ...

Put it on or you'll catch cold.

There's a chill in the air.

Hurry up, the train's leaving. - All right, stop worrying.

Four coffees, please. Sugar on the side.

Did you sleep well?

Very well, thank you. Did you sleep well?

Not really. We were so near and yet so far.

My feelings exactly.

Then you thought a little about me, about Helen?

I thought of nothing else all night.

What a pity.

Why? - You're going to Sestriere.

That's right. What about you?

To Paris. - I see.

La Ville Lumiere... boulevards...

Gilbert Becaud... Brigitte Bardot.

Who knows? I absolutely adore snow.

Then why don't you come to Sestriere?

I'm staying at the Hotel Delle Torri.

I mean, the Principi di Piemonte.

Why don't you come too? - As I said, who knows?

Goodbye, Mr. Spiripozzo. - My name's Ridolfi.

Spiripozzo ... I mean, Lucio Ridolfi.

Where did you hear that silly name?

Spiripozzo!

Hurry up, the train is leaving.

I'm coming.

Are those coffees coming? - You drank them.

So make some more. No wonder one gets tense.

Sugar... on the side.

Do you have any aspirin? - Me? Never.

You can't have a headache. - I do.

Crisp, clear mountain air. That's the cure.

Oxygen, clear air, the scent of pine trees....

These are dirty. They have marks on it.

It's the range-finder. - Why do you need that?

We're not in the army.

War memories. You wouldn't understand.

Capt. Bertolleti gave me those. They're from a dead German.

It was hot in Africa. A far cry from this place.

For a moment I hoped she'd join us here.

Who? Captain Bertoletti?

No, Helen. The blonde from the train.

Train affairs are fiction. Only in novels.

Fiction, eh?

Ready, aim...

Fire!

Up 38...

Fire!

Bullseye.

Snow makes you childish.

See that sexy brunette? She's looking at you.

She's not. - She was staring.

Give her a sign.

Go on. That may be enough.

See?

What would you like, sir?

A cappuccino. No sugar.

A sign!

Beautiful, spectacular ...

This way you'll fit more in.

There they are. - They're coming!

What a lovely peak.

A steep climb. And 1870m high.

A bit far, phearps.

Yes, but this way it may seem closer.

How are you feeling? - A bit of a headache.

Always that nasty headache.

I suppose there's no chance you'll come shopping with us.

Too cold.

Pick us up at hairdresser in an hour.

One hour. It's a deal.

She's allways touching my hair.

See you in an hour. - We'll be there.

Let's move!

What can we do in an hour? - Plenty. Your ring.

Get rid of this barbaric ... - It's stuck.

Watch it, you're pulling my finger off.

Let's not waste any time.

Listen to the expert, the Casanova.

What now? - Don't start ...

Watch out!

Who's the idiot? - He is.

Excuse him, he's so immature. He loves a prank.

Anyway, since we have an hour to spare ...

Why don't you and a friend come for a stroll with us?

No, I don't trust seasoned bachelors.

Don't give me any more advice.

Plenty more fish in the sea.

Let's have fun! Hello, girls.

Where are you off to? Wait ...

Let's go for some refreshment. Ice cream or something ...

Next year I'm going to the beach.

Without my wife.

Lucio ...

Don't get up. Pretend you don't know me.

So you didn't go to Paris. - So it seems.

I didn't see you get off the train.

Then you expected me to change my mind.

Sort of. Where are you staying?

In this hotel. Room 114.

I'll be there tonight. - Your cappuccino, sir.

Not now, I'm busy.

Tonight, then. - Not so fast.

Why? - I'm not alone.

Neither am I. When and where, then?

Tomorrow, on the slopes. I'll try to be free.

All right. It won't be easy, but I'll find an excuse.

I'll find a way.

I've been in this situation before.

Listen ...

You don't know how glad I am to find you again ...

Mountain air makes you hungry.

Aren't you eating?

Want an aspirin? - I was thinking ... No, thanks.

I was thinking, men are selfish pigs.

The truth at last. - Why, dear?

Because it's Christmas.

Your mother's all alone at home crying,

while we're here having fun without her.

Don't you feel guilty?

Guilty? I asked you to bring her along.

I didn't hear you. You should have insisted.

The doctor says altitude's bad for her.

Do you listen to doctors?

Darling, you're such a treasure.

Where are you going? - To tell mother to join us.

Wait, let's not be hasty.

Do you expect an old lady, slightly senile,

to catch the train alone?

She's likely to end up in Sicily

We'll have to go and pick her up.

How can we do it? Let's see.

The bus leaves at 11.30.

You reach the station at 1.30, catch the 2.30 train,

arrive in Rome on Saturday and rest on Sunday.

Then you get the 12.20 a.m. train. It works perfectly.

You'll be back in three days.

Me? What about you?

I can't come, I need rest.

Thats's too tiring in my condition

After all, she's your mother.

He's right. He's not fit for such a tour de force.

I'm not going alone.

Then ...

Maybe ...

No way.

You don't have to go just because you're friends.

I won't stay here alone. - I'll go if I want to.

In fact, I will go with her.

Go and pack or you'll miss the bus.

Don't catch cold, Spiripozzo, don't ski.

And don't stay outdoors. - God forbid! I'm in pain.

I bet you're glad I'm going. - Glad? To be alone with him?

Let me through. - Bye, darling.

Please, pull up your scarf. The scarf ...

I'm going inside, it's cold.

Goodbye. - Bye. Don't go out.

Have a good trip. - Don't worry.

The world is ours. Three days of freedom.

I'll follow this snow maiden. I feel she might fall.

I don't see my blonde.

What if our wives call?

Easy. I'll tell your wife you're out skiing.

And I'll say the same to your wife. Perfect.

But we must be careful.

They could get someone else to call.

I knew you'd fall eventually.

Oops, I've fallen too.

Sorry I grabbed you, it's slippery.

Try to get up. Weight downhill.

Weight downhill and body uphill ...

Lucio.

Helen, I'm free.

Pardon?

Sorry, I thought you were a woman.

Well, he dresses like one.

Helen, wait!

Stop ... stop!.

I don't know, how to stop ...

I'm very sorry.

I...

I know how to bend, but I can't master the christie.

Do you speak English? - Sure. I learnt it at school.

More or less.

See that hut at the foot of the hill?

Among the trees? - Yes.

Would you like to go there?

I'd love to.

Why do I need to speak English?

George only speaks English.

Is George there too?

Yes, but he won't bother us.

He doesn't talk much. And he drinks a lot.

I see. He's inhibited. - Yes.

Swedish? - No, Rumunian.

Allow me.

Follow me. -Rumunian? Well I never ...

Slowly, take it slowly, Helen.

Please, slowly!

My skills are a bit...

limited.

It's my christie that needs work.

Lean on the downhill ski ...

I'll have to learn the christie.

Sorry. - This is George.

I hope nobody seen you.

Yes, I think it�s very cold inside ...outside...

That you have a good trip out here?

No I smoke always mine cigarettes. - No, thank you.

Would you like have a cup of tea? Yes, it�s very good idea.

Would you like some tea? - Yes, please.

Tee for two.

Actually, tea for three.

That's right, tea for three.

What ...

No, thanks. I'm not that way inclined.

What are you up to?

I warn you, I'll hit you.

Keep your hands off ...

What's going on?

Good God, he's been shot.

Heleeeeeen!

What are you doing? Wait ... Helen!

Now what? Must stay calm.

Leave no fingerprints, no evidence...

What... But you're not dead.

Tell me. Who shoot you?

Ah, yes, you're deaf.

Who shoot you? Who make you bum bum?

D.....d......doll.

Louder, I can't hear you.

Doll ... doll....

Hat.

Not mine.

Let's go ...

Ah, yes, my skis.

Lean on the downhill foot.

To the hotel Principi di Piemonte, please.

No way. Forget it. I'm not going to the police.

Inguires, interviews, questions... No, thanks.

What would I tell Ilde?

"I was there with a blonde..." No. Let's think it over calmly.

After all, nobody saw me.

I didn't kill George.

I'm going to forget about it and go to bed.

Wait ... My fingerprints.

That's right, I touched things. I touched everything.

Millions of fingerprints, without gloves.

So what? I have a clean record.

The police don't have my fingerprints. Right?

If you say so.

Let's see. How would the police handle this?

They'd come, find the body

and fingerprints the guests of the hotels.

Elementary, my dear Watson.

What should I do?

Burn your fingertips, like a criminal.

You are a big help. Let's go. - Where?

To remove my fingerprints. To the hut.

You know, maybe we should hide the body.

The body?

Listen, Lucio.

Is this story true? - Yes! I'm not crazy yet.

Like last summer? - Last summer?

At the beach. You kept seeing a big, hairy spider in the cabin.

That spider was real.

Sure, but no one else saw it. - You and your scepticism!

It was a big, hairy, brightly-coloured spider.

And it was menacing. It had it in for me.

Lean on the downhill ski, he says. Well, I can't do it.

I must learn the christie.

He said something before he died.

Something strange I didn't understand.

But it ended with "doll". - Doll?

That's what I said. But what did he mean?

So he called you doll. - Not me, imbecile.

Wait ...

She killed him. The cute blonde, the doll.

Of course. She wasn't in the room.

Yes, she's the killer. The doll.

Come on. - You go.

Are you scared? - Scared. Me?

I fought in the war.

Captain Bortiletti used to say that I was ...

You go first.

Don't push me.

Who are they?

The Villains of the Valley? - They weren't here.

But ... The hole was here.

No corpse ...

Odd. What do you make of it?

Maybe he's buried in the snow.

We'll find him in spring.

All right, I'm crazy.

Over there.

There, see? Blood. It's still dripping.

Excuse me.

I don't dance.

Maybe you had a fall and hit your head.

Mild concussion... a bad dream.

It wasn't a dream. You saw the blonde.

Actually, I never saw her. - You didn't?

On the train? - You told me about her.

I never saw her in person. - Wait...

Room 214. -How do you know?

She told me.

This way.

Come and look.

See? Her jacket. - Shame on you.

It's just a joke.

Did you see the jacket?

We have to break in.

You just slip in the blade.

Okay, we'll crash through.

It was open.

Here it is. Her jacket.

She's packing. She's running away.

Who is it?

Who's there?

Who's there?

It's not her. Sorry, madam. We're leaving.

Now I remember. It was room 114.

Don't touch me. I'm calling the asylum.

I swear...

Me, crazy.

Sure, if there's no body, one might think I'm crazy.

But I saw the body. I wasn't hallucinating.

Of course I also saw the folk dancers.

There's something fishy going on.

Want to go up? - Does it work?

It does when there are people.

There.

Kids!

Hey! What are you doing?

Help!

(Rocking Prohibited)

Help!

There's a killer!

Are you mad?

Oh, my God...

Now we're square. All right?

Ah it's you. Little devil.

Wait for me, kids.

It's late. Let's all go back together.

All of us together to the hotel. Come with me.

Insensitive children ...

Listen, kid. Will you walk back with me?

I don�t want to go by myself.

I�ll give you 5000 lire...

Please? - Get lost.

Is the offer open to me?

I knew you were a nice girl.

I don�t want to walk alone. - There�s the chairlift.

I�d rather avoid that. - Then let�s take the path.

The snow is frozen. Sandrina! Come with us.

Good. The more the merrier.

Did you think I�d go alone with you? I know your type.

No, let�s all go together.

Fresh air and exercise are good for you...

It�s good and it�s fun.

Let�s stay together. Even when we get there.

Isn�t this fun?

You�re a sly old fox.

I know everything. - You do?

You�re married and your wife�s away.

We check up on all men under forty.

We weren�t sure about you. Then we decided to trust you.

After we saw you with a blonde lady.

Did you see me? Can you swear it?

Watch out!

Help! Get down. Are they crazy?

They�re trying to kill us.

Watch out!

Behind the tree, quickly.

Where are you going?

What happened?

Are you scared? A log pile came loose.

Help... Listen to me. For your own good...

Look.

There�s my friend. - I�m glad he has no knives.

Lucio, over here.

Good girls. Take me to the hotel. No, to the police.

Looks like he�s over his trouble.

Bye.

Have fun.

Help!

Don�t worry about Ilde.

I�ll tell her you�re out skiing.

Have fun.

Ilde...

Ilde, I feel sick,

I�m not feeling well.

What...

What�s this? Where am I?

Why did you tie me up? What�s this?

It�s the seat belt, darling.

Why? Who are you? Where am I?

Where are we? - Please, dear, don�t start.

Start what? Who are you?

This suit isn�t mine. Where�s my ski gear?

Darling, you won�t need it in Cairo.

Cairo?

Why are we going to Cairo? I don�t want to go to Cairo.

Why? - But, Charlie...

Who�s Charlie? - You are.

I am not. I want to get off the plane. Police!

Pardon? - Do you want a sweet?

No! I want an explanation.

*********

Is something wrong, sir? - Nothing.... My husband�s not well.

I�m not her husband. I�m Lucio Ridolfi, Italian.

I want to get off. I don�t even know how...

But sir, your ticket says you�re Mr. Charles Irving.

My ticket? And your passport.

You�re staying at the hotel Semiramis.

I�m not. I�m staying in Sestri�re. Where�s my...

Inside pocket. - Here. Look at my passport.

See?

Enjoy your stay in Cairo.

Aren�t you coming? - I�m not going anywhere.

Let�s go home, darling. - I�m staying right here.

But sir, you can�t. - Why not?

When does the plane leave? - In 20 minutes.

Going back to Italy? - No, to the Congo.

Then I guess I�ll get off. - Come on, let�s go.

Please, be reasonable.

You know, I�m not your husband.

Why are you doing this?

Suddenly waking up in Cairo can be a nasty shock.

You are my husband. You�re just ill.

I want to see the Italian ambassador!

But you�re British. - I�m Italian.

I hardly speak any English.

You speak english, japanese, russian and you have degree in Oriental languages.

Really?

Then why do I speak in Italian? Actually, in Roman slang.

Listen... "You can all go to hell" Hear the accent?

Because your mother�s Italian. Your father is English.

That�s nonsense. My father�s from Ovindoli.

Keep your hands off me! Who are you?

He�s Ali, our servant. He�s happy to see you.

So, am I. I�m very happy to see you, Ali.

You may let him go, Ali.

Here�s your suitcase.

It�s nice to be home.

Cocaine. Lots of it.

Yes, cocaine. You�d better check.

No, he�s ill. He doesn�t know what he�s saying.

I�ll come too. - No, madam.

Do a thorough search.

There.

This is not caocaine, it�s talcum powder.

Yes. As you�ve cleverly guessed, that�s not cocaine.

It�s talcum powder. But the passport�s fake.

No monsieur, your passport�s in order.

No. It looks as though it�s in order, but it is�t.

Let me explain it again.

My name�s Lucio Ridolfi and I�m Italian.

I was on the snow...

Yes, of course.

I took the train from Rome to Alexandria.

Alexandria? Then you�ve been to Egypt before.

No, not that Alexandria. The one in Piemonte, Italy.

Then, still by train, I went on to Sestriere...

Where you saw Santa Claus.

That�s right. I saw Santa Claus, Father Christmas.

Actually, I saw two Santa Clauses.

Yes, two Santas.

And they drugged me.

Go on, laugh. I know it�s hard to belive, but...

That�s Italy. Now we�ll sort out this mess.

Wait outside, please. - Sure. Take your time.

They�re so distrustful.

Long distance call for Mr. Ridolfi.

I�ll take it.

Hello?

Yes, he�s here.

No, I�m a friend. Riccardo.

Of course he�s here.

He�s right outside, skiing.

Bye, Lucio. Looking good. Nice christie.

Are you a friend of his wife? I assure you, he�s here.

Who was it? - Lucio�s wife checking on him.

I see. Thank you, Sestriere.

An awning...

Come on in, Mr. Ridolfi. - Well?

See? I was right.

Goodbye. Nice meeting you.

Who said "ambulance"?

No, I heard correctly.

Who took away the awning?

Stop that man!

Please, I need a lift. Ah, it�s you.

What are you doing here? - Lucky I met you.

Hurry, the customs officers are after me. Go!

Where do you want to go?

I don�t know. Anywhere.

What a tumble.

Let�s go to your house.

What would your wife say? - My wife�s in Italy.

She was here a few minutes ago.

That one? She�s not my wife.

If I told you what I�ve been through in the last 24 hours

you�d think I was crazy.

There�s water in my shoe.

Why? It�s not raining.

Because I stuck my foot in a hookah.

And why did you do that?

Because a son of...

A silly man had rolled up the awning.

There�s a killer following us.

The awning man? - No, the one from the chairlift.

In the black car. He�s very dangerous.

Get down, don�t look. Let me drive.

Keep your head down.

That�s funny. He looked just like him.

It�s him!

I was right. Is he following us?

Still talling us?

Keep your head down, he�s dangerous.

Don�t look back.

He�s a vicious killer. - Slow down.

Shall I turn right?

Where�s...

Hurry. - Is he still after us?

We�d better continue on foot. - What about the car?

I think we lost him.

Let�s hurry... There he is. Run!

Let us through.

You people let killers loose in the streets...

I�ll complain to the consulate.

No, thank you. No souvenirs.

Mint tea?

Thank you.

Don�t you like it? - I do, but not now.

If someone had told me all this would happen

I don�t know what I�d have done.

Here in this room with a beautiful girl...

What�s your name? - Nadia.

What would you have done?

You�re asking me what I�d...

That�s a naive question, my girl.

I�d have flirted with you, of course. Well, flirting...

With all the right ingredients, in this Arabian mood,

in an Arabian alcove such as this,

with a girl like you.

in this thousand and one nights setting...

Never mind. I know what I would have done.

Charlie, please.

My name is Lucio. - Okay, but I can�t do it.

Yes. Who cares about names?

It�s against regulations.

I can�t in my uniform, darling.

I see.

Without your uniform, you can.

Forget the telephone.

Come here, my beautiful bayad�re.

What�s happening now?

Are you leaving? - I must escort some tourists.

It�s part of my job. Don�t go away.

Wait for me, darling. - Where else can I go?

Effella will run you a bath, bring you food, tea... anything.

See you later. - Bye, baby.

Of course. The telephone.

The phone book...

Why didn�t I think of it before?

Listen. You�re a clever girl. Try to understand me.

You know, what a telephone is, don�t you?

How can I call Itally? You know? Talk...

No, I don�t want any sweets.

No, thanks. You have them.

Maybe the international code is the same as Italy.

I�ll give it a try.

Hello? Do you have someone who speaks Italian?

Yes, Italian.

Brother, why kill yourself? Life belongs to Allah.

Hello?

He will call you when your time comes.

Listen, please. How do I make an international call?

Brother, why kill yourself? Life belongs to Allah...

Calm. I must stay calm.

I must think it over calmly. Only fools panic.

Let�s see... I�m not Irving, and that�s a fact.

However, I have his passport and I am in Cairo.

Yesterday I was in Sestriere, today I�m in Cairo.

Where I don�t know anybody. That�s a fact too.

I�m in the house of a stranger hostess.

and the moment I leave, they�ll kill me.

Talk about bloody rotten luck.

Please, I told you I don�t like sweets. Sorry.

I can�t even communicate with people.

They didn�t teach Arabic at school. They taught Latin.

A dead, academic language. The kind Italians like.

That�s right.

Because I am Italian, my dear, sweet little girl.

And what do Italians do in these cases?

They go to the consulate! That�s where they go.

If I can get there alive.

Yes, the slippers.

Hurry up with the formalities.

Let me in. It�s the soul that counts.

Please notice the fittings commissioned by the Khalif.

There are killers on the loose. I saw them at Sestriere.

Don�t you understand?

I�m not a guest.

Congratulations.

I�ll just sit for a moment. - Not here.

This is the women�s side. - italian?

Yes. - Why are you here?

I got married. - Like it here?

It�s not bad. But customs are different.

Go and sit with the men.

And watch what you eat. - Good luck.

Please, leave me alone. I can�t help you.

I�m just an employee.

If you won�t help me, who will?

It�s Saturday. The consulate is closed, the consul�s away.

It�s Christmas. See the tree?

And we�re supposed to represent Italy.

It has character. - It�s pathetic.

Want some advice? - Yes, I need your help.

Come byck on Moonday. I�ll be dead by then.

As if people had nothing better to do than try to kill you.

Yes, that�s how it is. - Sure... Where�s my car?

There�s a car over there.

They left it in the sun - You speak the local language.

You can help me. - Go to the police.

Watch out. - I have an appointment.

It�s Saturday, I�m entitled to an appointment.

No. The way I see it, you have a duty to help...

Thank you.

As I said, you have a duty...

to help a fellow countryman in strife.

As far as I know you�re Mr. Charles Irving.

I told you, I�m Italian like you. From Rome.

I�m from Milan. - Let�s not be parochial now.

At least lend me the money for a plane ticket home.

I haven�t had a bite to eat in two days.

What�s this? - Ten dollars.

You could have said so before. - I�m not a beggar.

Take it. Goodbye.

You think you can leave me to face the killers alone?

Get out of the car. - Let�s go.

If I stay here alone, they�ll shoot me.

I demand to be protected by the consulate.

Hello, Daddy.

Your daughter?

I have a right to seek asylum at the embassy.

Good dive. What�s her name? - Raffi

Go, Raffi!

Will you please leave now? This is a private club.

Good stroke. She just needs to lengthen it.

What do you mean, go away? The�re trying to kill me.

In Sestriere and now here.

Did I survive the war to die here?

I can�t help you in any way.

I don�t want to die in Cairo, under the name of Irving.

Go, Raffi! You little dolphin.

This will have diplomatic repercussions for you.

Go, you little dolphin.

Didn�t make it.

She came second. - Not bad.

Please, listen. - Well done.

She�s a good swimmer, your...

Your daughter?

Now you�re all wet. - Hello, I�m Lucio Ridolfi.

Hi. I�m Raffaella Marchi.

I was just telling Daddy...

Wait, don�t leave me. Please...

Come to my office. - I�m not leaving.

Are you really Italian? - Of course.

You don�t act like one. Following me on a date.

You�re indiscreet. - I�m in danger.

What does he want? - Business matters.

A murky affair. - Actually, it�s very clear.

I�m Lucio Ridolfi, Italian.

What�s the story? -Mistaken identity.

He says he�s Ridolfi, but his passport says Irving.

Irving... what? - Charles.

Charles Irving? You?

Do you know him? - Who doesn�t?

I don�t.

So tell him. Am I Irving?

I don�t know him in person. But he�s a legend.

We dedicated a plaque to him at University.

Our swimming team is named after him.

Who�s Charles Irving? - He�s our idol.

But why? - He�s a champion.

He won every student swimming competion.

I can�t even swim. - Look, Charles Irving�s here.

He�s our current champion.

Sorry to disappoint you, but I�m not Charles Irving.

This isn�t funny any more. Enough�s enough.

We can find out. The tattoo.

Irving has the dancer Nabila on his chest.

Hold this, please. So he has a tattoo, does, he?

A dancer, right on his chest.

All right, let�s look before I go mad.

I�ll show you there�s no tattoo and no dancer.

It wasn�t here before.

Let me go.

Not in the water, it�s full of crocodiles.

You�re making a mistake.

Help!

A crocodile!

The seventh man in front of the treasure.

What does that mean? Help...

I want to go home. Ilde!

Does Nabila dance here?

Excuse me... Is that Nabila dancing?

Nabila... Miss Nabila.

Excuse me. I need some information.

I belive that you know a Mr. Irving.

Or rather, that you love him.

Look at me and tell me. Am I Irving?

Then I must be him.

Am I?

Charles...

Charles is dead. - Dead?

Then I can�t be him.

Are you Irving�s friend?

Are you Charles� friend?

You�re his friend. - No, let me explain.

There�s been a chain of events...

I understand your distress. Have a cry, hold me.

I was just explaining to the lady, that there�s been a mix-up.

Souvenir?

Be careful, it�s sharp.

I don�t know the lady. Tell them, please.

I see he�s a sophisticated gentleman

who understands it�s all a mistake.

It�s just a coincidence.

Teach them a lesson.

Get out of my way, or you�ll be sorry.

That�s enough.

I said that�s enough. You asked for it.

Who�s that? - Come with me, Mister.

Let me through.

I said, let me through.

That moustache!

Stop. What have I done to you?

I don�t know you. Don�t shoot!

Lucio... - Who is it?

Helen...

What are you doing here?

He didn�t kill me. - He didn�t have time.

What happened?

You killed him? - Yes.

Well done.

Come on, there�s no time.

Why did you drag me into this mess?

Why are you killing people?

Did you kill George too? - No.

How come no?

And Irving? Who�s Irving?

You know I�m not him. Why do they call me Irving?

Because we decided to.

We?

The FBI.

International Defence and Finance Section.

FBI?

So you�re with the FBI? You little liar.

Anyway, what do I have to do with all that?

I�m an honest taxpayer. This is all too much.

Irving was our best agent.

George was a spy, who wanted to get in touch with Irving

to sell him an important secret.

Do you follow me? - I�m trying.

I�m pooped. All that travelling, fighting, shooting...

It�s all too much. May I lean on you?

Keep talking, I�m listening.

Irving and George were supposed to meet in Paris.

But at Alessandria station I recieved an urgent message

telling me, that Irving was dead.

Yes, Nabila told me.

I had to find a substitute.

That�s when I saw you.

So you weren�t attracted to me, I was just convenient.

Of course I liked you too.

Anyway, it was you who approached me. Right?

A man�s a man.

George was killed in the hut.

They hunted him down to silence him.

How can I be sure you didn�t do it?

I�ve inly killed once. Just now, for you.

Thank you. I owe you one.

Wait. Before he died, George said something to me.

What did he say? - Doll.

No, not doll. Doll... dollars.

You understand. - Dollars?

Where are you taking me now?

I�m tired, let me sleep.

It fits perfectly. - We know your size.

Also your weight and shoe size,

that you like coffee with no sugar.

and Martini with just a little ice.

And I�m in bed by midnight. - After the news.

Why are you leaving? - Not tonight.

We have something important to do.

I�ve had enough adventures today. Let�s stay here.

Bob... here�s Mr Ridiolfi.

So we meet again. - I don�t think we�ve met.

I was driving the sleigh.

And I was Santa Claus.

You throw a mean punch. - For your own good.

You had become Irving, our enemie�s target.

We had to kidnap you.

I still don�t understand,

why you brought me to Cairo without warning me.

Why?

Because Irving lived in Cairo.

Our enemies had to think, he was still alive.

We would have explained, but you ran away.

Keep him awake.

George said something about dollars.

Yes? Ilde...

Drink.

This will keep you awake for a while.

I don�t want to stay awake.

My problem is going home to sleep.

You must realize this is very weird.

You pick up a guy who�s happily skiing...

What did you put in there?

You drug him and fly him to Cairo... It�s bad manners.

I won�t be manipulated like this.

I�m leaving. - No, you won�t.

You too. - You can�t leave now.

Sooner or later one of them will contact Irving.

And you�re Irving.

Fine. They�ve already contacted me.

What did they say? - Well, I was swimming

when this bald man surfaced and said something.

That whisky had a strange taste.

What did he say? - he said...

Seventh man before the treasure.

I feel hyped up.

It�s an appointment for you.

Must be the museum. The Pharaoh�s treasure.

You must go. - But I won�t. So there.

But you must. - You go.

Only you can do it. - Why?

You must help us discover the secrets.

It�s important to world peace.

Sure. - You can save the world.

I don�t care about the world.

I want to go back to Sestriere. My mother-in-law�s coming.

Are you afraid? - Frankly, yes.

Anyway, I don�t want to go. It doesn�t concern me.

I feel strange. My glands are all...

And I can�t stop talking. - You were a soldier.

I don�t remember. - You enlisted at seventeen.

So? That was ages ago. I�m older and wiser now.

And I�m not well, I get migraines.

I don�t feel well. What was in the whisky? I feel funny.

Africa, April 1943. British fort, El Qattara.

You single-handedly destroyed it with a Molotov coctail.

How do you know?

I was there.

I�m sorry.

But it doesn�t alter the situation, which is this:

I have no intention of performing that task for you.

Especially as I feel so odd

and I want to know what you put in my glass.

Everything else is beyond my competence.

I have verbal diarrhoea...

You�re under no obligation. - That�s right.

We respect you freedom. That�s more like it.

Of course, we can�t guarantee your safety.

What do you mean?

As soon as you go outside...

You? - No, the others.

Irving knows too much.

Is that so?

Well, actually...

When I look at it from that angle...

You know what? I�ve changed my mind.

I think I�ll save the world. - I knew it!

Nice tree. Of course, it�s Christmas.

Ilde will be... - Come on.

Want to go to your suite?

No, yours. Your wife�s waiting for you.

Ah, yes. The one from the plane. Listen...

If I have a choice, I�d rather stay with you.

Do I have a choice?

You have to be with your wife, Irving.

Won�t you get jealous if I�m with another woman?

She�s not another woman. - Isn�t she?

She�s our agent 503.

Good night, Lucio.

Charlie, darling, why are you so late?

THE ROOM IS BUGGED.

Work. I was working, dear.

I had a hectic day at work.

I worked hard.

How are you? - I�m fine.

How�s Ali? - Fine.

And how are you?

You�re beautiful.

I couldn�t wait to come home to my lovely wife.

My lovely wife.

My beautiful...

My lovely, beautiful wife.

Every time I see you it�s just like the first time.

I feel I�m kissing you for the first time.

Know what we�re going to do now?

We�re going to bed.

Our great big bed.

I dreamt about it all day.

Please, Charlie, I�m very tired.

Nothing to report yet.

The situation�s under control. Over and out.

I�m here, Lucio.

I knew it. You may go, everything�s under control.

Leave it to me.

Nothing to report yet. Museum empty.

Nothing to report... Wait. I�ll call you back.

Two, three, four, five...

six...

and seven.

He just left the museum.

He seems to be on to something.

You may go, I can handle it.

Di Stefano is tackled by Corso. Corso to Bulgarelli,

Rivera to Bulgarelli, Bulgarelli to Rivera...

Mazzola shoots... Goal!

No, sorry, it�s out.

Hello? There was interference,

but it�s okay now, it�s all under control.

He�s approaching the cafe.

Coke, please. Can you change ten dollars?

One, two, three, four, five, six...

Seven men before the treasure.

He must have found something.

He�s running in our direction.

What�s going on?

Let�s go.

They fooled us. They�ve kidnapped Ridolfi.

The police.

Lucio, get down!

Well done. Well done, Thea.

What a good shot.

Well done, thank you.

I�m destinated to be saved by women. Impressive aim.

I have the solution. I found the key to the mystery.

That�s why they kidnapped you.

It�s the ten dollar note.

That�s what George tried to tell me.

Look. Seven men before the treasure, right?

This is the treasure and these are the seven men.

See? The key is in the banknote.

You�re good, Lucio. The best.

None of us had guessed.

I had some luck too.

But I�ve always liked solving puzzles and crosswords.

Why are you speaking Chinese?

Thea, shoot. They�re not dead. Shoot.

I surrender.

I said, I surrender.

Do I have to go down there?

So you�re on their side.

Give me that note. You�ll get it back later.

I see. These are all false. - Your acumen amazes me.

Yes, they�re false. False, as currency.

But they�re perfect in every detail.

They were printed in a place far from here

by very skilled people.

Forgers. - Hitler did it too.

He shook the British economy. But the war ended too soon.

You�re American. Why are you here?

These are my real friends. - These?

You can�t understand. They are the future.

The seventh man is different.

He carries an umbrella.

Funny, isn�t it?

The smallest detail.

One toils for years, then makes a teeny mistake

And all his work is ruined.

Well, I�m sorry for you.

I did my best to help.

You don�t need me any more, so...

Maybe I�ll go.

You want me to stay? Okay, I�ll stay.

You westerners are very naive.

We�ll flood the West with these notes,

destroy your economy and build a new civilisation.

I�m sure you will. Good luck.

But I don�t see how I...

This was the German, who forged the money for us.

He tried to ruin our plans by marking the seventh man.

He�s dead.

This is George. He�s dead too.

This was our man at the Nile.

A worthy man. A reel man.

He knew. He talked. He died.

Now you�re the only one who knows the secret.

Me? Why? What secret?

I won�t say a word. I mind my own business.

I�ll just go back to Sestriere, to my skiing holiday.

Tell him.

I�m sorry. Something always comes between us.

You�re sorry?

Tell them I have nothing to do with this.

I�ve never dabbled in... I�m Italian, I�m neutral.

You can�t just kill people. Boys, please.

So you want war, do you?

I�ll show you. Where�s the lighter?

No more Mister Nice Guy.

A mirage!

I see a bus.

Stop!

Stop! I said, stop.

I�m taking over the bus.

Nadia, you�re here? It�s good to see you.

The Chinese are after me. Everyone, take cover!

He�s an Italian loony.

See? I was right. Anyway, it�s good to see you.

Our agents are seizing false notes all over the world.

That�s good.

You saved the world�s economy.

Is that my flight?

Yes, and from Milan we�ll fly you to Sestriere.

Is it safe? I would�t want an accident now.

Goodbye. - Goodbye, Lucio.

It�ll be embarrassing to tell Washington

the case was solved by an Italian.

Yes, but we Americans supplied the weapons.

Two Coca Colas, please.

One moment, please.

We have to check your passport, sir.

If it says Irving, it�s a fake. Irving is dead.

If the name is Ridolfi, you�re charged with major offences.

False declarations. - Not again.

Marcel!

As I said...

I�d be lost without you. You�re the smartest spy.

The spyest spy I�ve ever met.

I�m tempted to stay here.

You can�t. But we may meet again soon.

Keep in touch, then. Write to me.

Better send it to my office. Comming!

Because I�m a bit... a bit married.

The tattoo. How do I explain it?

It comes off with milk.

Nice view.

Our mountains.

Keep to the right a little.

And a bit higher.

Why take risks? Better to play it safe.

Now I like it.

There�s the bus. My wife�s on it.

That�s my hotel.

You can stop here. Why don�t you stop?

Are we going to land further ahead?

It would be hard for you to explain the helicopter.

Wives are suspicious. - I see you�re married too.

Is the landing safe? - Yes, don�t worry.

Well, thank you and goodbye.

Until next time.

Next time?

Don�t underestimate yourself. We may need you again.

Till next time.

Goodbye.

It�s ten o�clock. I�ll be at the hotel in a few minutes.

Did you have a good trip?

The usual routine here.

How�s your mother? - I told you not to ski.

Look at him go. - A little exercise...

Make way!

Out of the way. I can�t stop...

I can�t swim.

Come and watch the torchlight procession.

Excuse me, please. Let�s sit him here.

There you are. All right, darling?

Look, Mum. Isn�t it lovely?

Wait till I tell you about the brunette.

You disappeared. What did you do?

Me?

Nothing much. I just saved the world.

Lucio!

Subtitles: Donna Tieri, Belinda Green

Subtitles: SBS Australia 1997

transcribed by hlaad