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1
00:00:21,565 --> 00:00:24,985
[JOHNNY PACHECO, "MAZUMBA"]
2
00:01:22,459 --> 00:01:26,959
Mondo, New York, home to
outcast, misfit, reject, loser,
3
00:01:27,797 --> 00:01:31,175
pervert, lunatics,
gangsters, pranksters,
4
00:01:31,468 --> 00:01:34,137
and outlaws, yeah,
neurotic, psychotic,
5
00:01:34,429 --> 00:01:38,474
maniacs, brainiacs, hippies,
yippies, yuppie, junkies,
6
00:01:38,767 --> 00:01:41,144
flunkies, monkeys, yeah--
7
00:01:41,436 --> 00:01:43,646
All trying to claw their
way to the top of the trash
8
00:01:43,938 --> 00:01:46,148
heap, the top of
the garbage pile,
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00:01:46,441 --> 00:01:50,153
all screaming in the American
obscene, me, me, me, me, me,
10
00:01:50,445 --> 00:01:51,612
me, me, me, me!
11
00:01:51,905 --> 00:01:55,658
I want my fame, my fortune,
my lousy 15 minutes!
12
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:58,535
My-- what the fuck ever
it is, you want it?
13
00:01:58,828 --> 00:01:59,578
We got it.
14
00:01:59,871 --> 00:02:01,372
If you don't see it,
ask for it because it
15
00:02:01,665 --> 00:02:05,710
comes in all shapes and sizes,
all colors in every dimension--
16
00:02:06,002 --> 00:02:08,671
Mondo, New York.
17
00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:12,257
[CHILL MUSIC]
18
00:02:39,202 --> 00:02:42,580
[CHATTER]
19
00:02:45,667 --> 00:02:48,086
[WHISTLING]
20
00:02:50,630 --> 00:02:54,050
[CHATTER]
21
00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:37,343
[PHOEBE LEGERE, "MARILYN
MONROE"]
22
00:03:49,564 --> 00:03:53,025
I was swimming with my
friend Marilyn Monroe,
23
00:03:53,318 --> 00:03:57,071
and a wave sucked me
into its undertow.
24
00:03:57,363 --> 00:03:59,740
I was desperately
fighting my way
25
00:04:00,033 --> 00:04:04,533
to the top when all of
a sudden time stopped.
26
00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:09,788
Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Monroe,
Marilyn, Marilyn Monroe.
27
00:04:21,179 --> 00:04:23,097
There I'll be on
the surface, I saw
28
00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:27,726
the platinum glow from my
friend, the beautiful Marilyn
29
00:04:28,019 --> 00:04:29,145
Monroe.
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00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:33,107
Looked into her eyes, I
kissed her once or twice.
31
00:04:33,399 --> 00:04:37,277
She was still alive,
and everything was nice.
32
00:04:37,570 --> 00:04:42,070
Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Monroe,
Marilyn, Marilyn Monroe.
33
00:04:53,044 --> 00:04:54,670
Suddenly a cloud appeared.
34
00:04:54,963 --> 00:04:56,547
I said, what do you want?
35
00:04:56,840 --> 00:05:00,844
It turned quite gray and
said, we want your aunt.
36
00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:04,972
But she can sing,
and she can dance.
37
00:05:05,265 --> 00:05:08,476
Won't you give the
girl a second chance?
38
00:05:08,768 --> 00:05:13,268
Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Monroe,
Marilyn, Marilyn Monroe.
39
00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:28,537
Now she must die
because she is too good.
40
00:05:28,830 --> 00:05:30,122
It could happen to you.
41
00:05:30,415 --> 00:05:31,999
It really could.
42
00:05:32,292 --> 00:05:35,962
I cried and I cried
as they took her away.
43
00:05:36,254 --> 00:05:40,132
And they lied and lied
about her every day.
44
00:05:40,425 --> 00:05:44,925
Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Monroe,
Marilyn, Marilyn, oh, Marilyn
45
00:06:05,909 --> 00:06:08,661
Monroe, ooh.
46
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:19,004
Marilyn Monroe.
47
00:06:19,297 --> 00:06:23,797
[WORDLESS SINGING] Marilyn,
Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Monroe,
48
00:06:32,018 --> 00:06:36,518
Marilyn, Marilyn Monroe,
Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn Monroe,
49
00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:04,045
Marilyn Monroe, Marilyn
Monroe, Marilyn Monroe.
50
00:07:15,186 --> 00:07:19,686
Marilyn, Marilyn
o-oh, Marilyn Monroe.
51
00:07:35,665 --> 00:07:40,165
[WORDLESS SINGING]
52
00:07:43,089 --> 00:07:46,383
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
53
00:08:16,789 --> 00:08:20,209
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
54
00:08:24,756 --> 00:08:28,468
There's going to be
a murder tonight.
55
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:31,512
[LAUGHS]
56
00:08:33,056 --> 00:08:35,349
Evening, ladies and gentlemen.
57
00:08:35,641 --> 00:08:40,141
I am your host, Professor
Mambuzu, master of voodoo,
58
00:08:42,857 --> 00:08:47,357
hoodoo, and [COUGHS]
[MUMBLES] uh--
59
00:08:48,905 --> 00:08:53,405
[SLAPS] Now, I know
that we were all
60
00:08:54,035 --> 00:08:58,535
born of some grand
Mongolian clusterfuck,
61
00:09:00,166 --> 00:09:03,794
be you a bughouse flattop
jerk-off or southpaw
62
00:09:04,087 --> 00:09:06,923
fist-fucking fagocyte.
63
00:09:07,215 --> 00:09:11,594
However, your deep dish
magma sure do my due.
64
00:09:11,886 --> 00:09:13,762
I'd just like to jump
into your clit cave
65
00:09:14,055 --> 00:09:16,474
until you bark like a
dog and squirt crystal
66
00:09:16,766 --> 00:09:18,142
thick as a greased hog.
67
00:09:18,434 --> 00:09:18,767
[CHEERS]
68
00:09:19,185 --> 00:09:19,560
[LAUGHS]
69
00:09:20,061 --> 00:09:21,353
[CHEERS]
70
00:09:21,646 --> 00:09:24,690
[APPLAUSE]
71
00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:28,235
After lunch!
72
00:09:28,528 --> 00:09:30,112
Hey, you know,
ladies and gentlemen,
73
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:33,490
I got two characters that
I bet you'd like to meet.
74
00:09:33,783 --> 00:09:37,787
Their names are Mush
Mouse and Pumpkin Puss.
75
00:09:38,079 --> 00:09:38,954
How'd you like to meet them?
76
00:09:39,247 --> 00:09:41,916
[CHEERING]
77
00:09:42,208 --> 00:09:45,461
[MYSTICAL MUSIC]
78
00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:54,553
Mush Mouse and Pumpkin Puss.
79
00:09:54,846 --> 00:09:55,763
How you doing Mush Mouse?
80
00:09:56,055 --> 00:09:57,514
How you doing Pumpkin Puss?
81
00:09:57,807 --> 00:09:59,558
I love you, too, guys.
82
00:09:59,851 --> 00:10:01,227
I love you so much.
83
00:10:01,519 --> 00:10:02,895
But this world is a horror.
84
00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:04,188
You don't want to live here.
85
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,398
I'm going to save
you from this shit.
86
00:10:06,691 --> 00:10:09,068
I'm going to give
you royal sanctuary
87
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:10,944
in the kingdom of heaven.
88
00:10:11,237 --> 00:10:15,737
[WAILING]
89
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:18,828
[GRUNTING]
90
00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:22,832
[SCREAMING]
91
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:35,636
[CHEERING]
92
00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:43,060
[SCREAMING] What have I done?
93
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:47,852
[SCREAMS] They cover
the land like locusts,
94
00:10:50,693 --> 00:10:55,193
those vile human creatures
hoarding the boulevard
95
00:10:56,866 --> 00:11:00,703
with their syphilitic
confuzzles,
96
00:11:00,995 --> 00:11:05,495
defiling every human shape
with their cosmetic urine!
97
00:11:08,211 --> 00:11:12,711
These slimy adolescents
deserve no salvation, only
98
00:11:14,884 --> 00:11:17,052
the cleansing fires
of red hot steel.
99
00:11:26,771 --> 00:11:28,689
[CHEERS]
100
00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:29,564
[SIZZLES]
101
00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:31,692
[CHEERS]
102
00:11:31,984 --> 00:11:35,237
[FIRECRACKERS EXPLODING]
103
00:11:37,323 --> 00:11:40,701
[CHEERING]
104
00:11:51,212 --> 00:11:55,712
And as the mother had her
snatch eaten by the stranger,
105
00:11:57,260 --> 00:12:01,760
so the junkie had his rotten
yellow teeth eaten by the mm--
106
00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:07,102
[SCREAMING]
107
00:12:07,395 --> 00:12:10,689
[CHEERING]
108
00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:20,115
[EERIE MUSIC]
109
00:12:30,668 --> 00:12:34,046
[FOOTSTEPS]
110
00:12:41,137 --> 00:12:43,973
New York City is
a fucking jungle.
111
00:12:44,265 --> 00:12:46,141
Even the architecture
is like a jungle.
112
00:12:46,434 --> 00:12:50,312
You got a Baroque next to
a Rococo, next to a modern,
113
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:53,273
growing crazy like some
kind of a wild exotic plant
114
00:12:53,566 --> 00:12:54,650
in the jungle.
115
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:59,442
[SNIFFS] And here, in this
apocalypse culture, is my cave.
116
00:13:00,323 --> 00:13:03,784
This is-- this is-- in my
own jungle, my cave, where
117
00:13:04,076 --> 00:13:08,576
I collect and worship my
own private personal icons
118
00:13:08,873 --> 00:13:13,294
like Richard Speck, the killer
of eight student nurses,
119
00:13:13,586 --> 00:13:16,130
the skull of a man that
was murdered with an ax.
120
00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:21,968
I've always been misanthropic.
121
00:13:22,261 --> 00:13:23,929
Even as a kid, I didn't
have any friends.
122
00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:27,265
I just had this
graveyard that was
123
00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:30,102
across the street from my house.
124
00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:31,853
And I would go
into the graveyard,
125
00:13:32,146 --> 00:13:34,565
and I would talk
to the headstones.
126
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:37,234
And I would believe that
there was someone in there.
127
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:39,319
And that character
was real for me.
128
00:13:39,612 --> 00:13:41,655
And I would live and
breathe as that character.
129
00:13:41,947 --> 00:13:45,116
And that's how my
performances started.
130
00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:49,909
And after-- after I moved into
New York, I would sort of--
131
00:13:53,042 --> 00:13:55,335
I would start by driving
around in a station wagon
132
00:13:55,628 --> 00:13:58,672
with my explosives packed in
the back of the station wagon.
133
00:13:58,964 --> 00:14:01,591
And when I'd see a real
rowdy New York City bar,
134
00:14:01,884 --> 00:14:02,801
I'd just pull over.
135
00:14:03,094 --> 00:14:06,138
And I'd scrawl at the
top of my head in blood,
136
00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:09,099
give Christ back
to the Martians,
137
00:14:09,392 --> 00:14:12,603
strap on my explosives
and walk into the bar.
138
00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,521
I'd go up to some
pretty girl there,
139
00:14:14,814 --> 00:14:18,734
and I'd say, I don't
want to fuck you, honey.
140
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:21,069
I just want to cut your
tits off and splice them
141
00:14:21,362 --> 00:14:23,155
on Dixie cups and sip
wine and punch out
142
00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:24,531
of them all evening long.
143
00:14:24,824 --> 00:14:26,617
Yeah, I want to spread
your snatch with a shoehorn
144
00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:27,784
and plain asparagus.
145
00:14:28,077 --> 00:14:29,620
You know what I'm talking about?
146
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:31,371
And of course, she'd
get a little upset.
147
00:14:31,664 --> 00:14:33,957
And she'd go over to
her boyfriend and say,
148
00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:35,417
you got to kick that guy's ass.
149
00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:37,419
That guy just insulted me.
150
00:14:37,711 --> 00:14:40,672
So the guy would come
over, all tough and rowdy.
151
00:14:40,965 --> 00:14:43,342
And he'd see that
I got, give Christ
152
00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:45,510
back to the Martians,
scrawled on my head.
153
00:14:45,803 --> 00:14:47,471
And he'd get a little upset.
154
00:14:47,763 --> 00:14:51,349
And at that point, I'd pull out
my trusty lighter, light the
155
00:14:51,642 --> 00:14:54,102
explosives I have
underneath my shirt.
156
00:14:54,395 --> 00:14:56,522
And at that time,
as I'm blowing up,
157
00:14:56,814 --> 00:14:58,190
the whole place
was just confused.
158
00:14:58,482 --> 00:15:00,567
And people would dive
under the tables.
159
00:15:00,860 --> 00:15:02,111
People would scream.
160
00:15:02,403 --> 00:15:04,113
And in the smoke and
in the confusion,
161
00:15:04,405 --> 00:15:08,784
I would just walk out
before the cops got there.
162
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:10,869
Anywhere else but
New York City and I'd
163
00:15:11,162 --> 00:15:12,580
probably be in jail right now.
164
00:15:12,872 --> 00:15:14,623
But I'm here to talk about it.
165
00:15:14,915 --> 00:15:17,667
[CHILL MUSIC]
166
00:15:18,752 --> 00:15:22,672
[RHYTHMIC MUSIC]
167
00:15:30,264 --> 00:15:33,684
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
168
00:15:39,273 --> 00:15:42,693
[PLAYFUL MUSIC]
169
00:15:55,289 --> 00:15:57,040
Ahh!
170
00:15:57,333 --> 00:15:59,376
Ahh!
171
00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:00,043
Ahh!
172
00:16:09,053 --> 00:16:11,638
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
173
00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:15,517
[WHIPCRACKING]
174
00:16:17,394 --> 00:16:17,811
Ahh!
175
00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:23,942
[GROANING]
176
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:25,276
[GRUNTS]
177
00:16:25,778 --> 00:16:26,195
Ah!
178
00:16:26,612 --> 00:16:26,987
What'd you say?
179
00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:27,696
Yes, sir.
180
00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:29,197
[GROANS] OK.
181
00:16:29,490 --> 00:16:29,865
Oh!
182
00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:32,492
[WHIPCRACKING]
183
00:16:32,785 --> 00:16:34,995
[CHAINS CLINKING]
184
00:16:37,248 --> 00:16:37,873
Ah--
185
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:38,498
[WHIPCRACK]
186
00:16:38,791 --> 00:16:41,543
[GROANING]
187
00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:48,800
[GRUNTS]
188
00:16:49,093 --> 00:16:50,511
[GROANING]
189
00:16:50,803 --> 00:16:52,304
[CHAINS CLINKING]
190
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:55,348
[SLAPPING]
191
00:16:58,519 --> 00:16:59,144
[GROANS]
192
00:16:59,728 --> 00:17:02,105
[SLAPPING]
193
00:17:05,401 --> 00:17:08,112
[GROANING]
194
00:17:08,404 --> 00:17:11,657
[SLAPPING]
195
00:17:11,949 --> 00:17:12,324
Ahh!
196
00:17:12,616 --> 00:17:15,035
[WHIPCRACKING]
197
00:17:17,997 --> 00:17:19,123
[GROANING]
198
00:17:23,586 --> 00:17:25,879
[CHAINS CLINKING]
199
00:17:26,171 --> 00:17:29,424
[MUSIC PLAYING]
200
00:17:41,854 --> 00:17:45,232
[GROANING]
201
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:44,040
Rock back and forth, holding
on to the wrapping that
202
00:18:44,333 --> 00:18:46,543
holds us all together.
203
00:18:46,835 --> 00:18:50,463
Colorful ribbons of our
cocoon, the two lovers
204
00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:53,341
pumping hard on the
swing, working together
205
00:18:53,634 --> 00:18:56,595
to get the highest thrilling,
flying, and swooshing
206
00:18:56,887 --> 00:18:58,305
drop in their bellies.
207
00:18:58,597 --> 00:19:03,097
And yet in their loins,
almost sexual but not quite,
208
00:19:04,937 --> 00:19:07,648
sex would get in the way of
the child-like melting of Earth
209
00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:09,858
and sky.
210
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:13,361
Back and forth, up and
down, wrapping us together
211
00:19:13,654 --> 00:19:18,154
in brightness and softness
and the magical commonness.
212
00:19:18,909 --> 00:19:21,870
A girl laughs on a
big old rocking horse.
213
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:25,874
A GI, holding his guts
in, blood oozing out,
214
00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:30,666
rocks on the battlefield, rocks
to keep life in and pain out.
215
00:19:32,256 --> 00:19:35,008
Light pulses reflected
off tin and plastic.
216
00:19:37,761 --> 00:19:41,389
Daddy rocking baby
to sleep on his lap,
217
00:19:41,682 --> 00:19:45,227
cozy togetherness in
ribbons, rocking by the fire,
218
00:19:45,519 --> 00:19:48,980
far away from reality.
219
00:19:49,273 --> 00:19:52,526
The Arab woman on her knees
beside the unrecognizable
220
00:19:52,818 --> 00:19:56,530
remains of her husband, rocking
to handle grief and pain.
221
00:20:00,826 --> 00:20:03,036
A crazy rocks on
the street corner,
222
00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:06,706
talking to beings
from another reality.
223
00:20:06,999 --> 00:20:08,417
Wrap us up cozy.
224
00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:09,876
Wrap us formless.
225
00:20:10,169 --> 00:20:13,172
[GUTTURAL LAUGHING]
226
00:20:13,464 --> 00:20:17,964
Admit that we all are wrapped up
together and see through ties.
227
00:20:18,844 --> 00:20:22,514
The gypsy woman, eyes
closed, rocks back and forth,
228
00:20:22,806 --> 00:20:26,893
giving master spirits her voice
and her body to speak through,
229
00:20:27,186 --> 00:20:30,147
rocking in her tent.
230
00:20:30,439 --> 00:20:32,941
The boys rocking
uncontrollable from laughter
231
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:36,527
at their childish pranks.
232
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,947
Rocking surrealistic
in the darkness
233
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:42,242
and their colorful bonds,
the two nude figures,
234
00:20:42,534 --> 00:20:46,871
using magical passion to melt
together, rock like the blind,
235
00:20:47,164 --> 00:20:51,168
like the insane, like the
holy men, like lovers.
236
00:20:51,460 --> 00:20:54,045
And the magical melting
spreads out of the cave
237
00:20:54,338 --> 00:20:55,714
and into the world.
238
00:20:56,006 --> 00:20:59,259
[ENERGETIC MUSIC]
239
00:21:46,849 --> 00:21:47,975
I love New York.
240
00:21:48,267 --> 00:21:50,852
If you can make it in New
York, you can make it anyplace.
241
00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:52,770
I fought for the
Lower East Side.
242
00:21:53,063 --> 00:21:54,898
I'll fight for the
Lower East Side.
243
00:21:55,190 --> 00:21:58,484
And I don't want no high
rise on the Lower East Side.
244
00:21:58,777 --> 00:22:02,071
[ENERGETIC MUSIC]
245
00:22:27,514 --> 00:22:30,934
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
246
00:23:08,847 --> 00:23:10,640
It's all about survival, man.
247
00:23:10,933 --> 00:23:12,684
You know when-- if you
can make it in New York,
248
00:23:12,976 --> 00:23:14,519
you can make it anywhere
in the world, man.
249
00:23:14,811 --> 00:23:15,228
Anywhere.
250
00:23:24,071 --> 00:23:25,405
I come from the
East End of London.
251
00:23:25,697 --> 00:23:27,240
And I used to think
it was pretty rough.
252
00:23:27,532 --> 00:23:29,367
But now I live where
it's really tough.
253
00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:31,119
I live in Alphabet City.
254
00:23:31,411 --> 00:23:35,123
I live with gangs of Wall Street
brokers, fashion photographers,
255
00:23:35,415 --> 00:23:37,750
merchant bankers,
lawyers, accountants,
256
00:23:38,043 --> 00:23:39,335
and real estate agents.
257
00:23:39,628 --> 00:23:40,879
White people used
to come down here
258
00:23:41,171 --> 00:23:42,255
for a good deal on some heroin.
259
00:23:42,547 --> 00:23:43,839
Now they come down
for a good deal
260
00:23:44,132 --> 00:23:46,592
on some short-term
investment property.
261
00:23:46,885 --> 00:23:48,761
The Mambo has been
replaced by Mozart.
262
00:23:49,054 --> 00:23:50,513
The only rap music
you'll hear around here
263
00:23:50,806 --> 00:23:52,891
is on a compact
disk, just when you
264
00:23:53,183 --> 00:23:54,809
thought it was safe to
relax in the gutter.
265
00:24:04,444 --> 00:24:06,529
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
266
00:24:27,718 --> 00:24:30,387
New York is the
clitoris of the world.
267
00:24:30,679 --> 00:24:32,013
This is a woman's
time and space.
268
00:24:32,305 --> 00:24:33,306
We're here to celebrate.
269
00:24:47,738 --> 00:24:51,074
[JOEY ARIAS, "FISH OUT OF
WATER"]
270
00:24:58,582 --> 00:25:01,960
[BEATBOXING]
271
00:25:07,966 --> 00:25:12,466
(SINGING) Fish out of
water, now what can I do?
272
00:25:12,846 --> 00:25:17,346
[BEATBOXING] Fish out of
water, my face is so blue.
273
00:25:22,606 --> 00:25:27,106
[BEATBOXING] Fish out of water,
I'll scream then I'll cry.
274
00:25:32,074 --> 00:25:36,536
Fish out of water,
it's your turn tonight.
275
00:25:36,828 --> 00:25:37,870
You got it going now.
276
00:25:38,163 --> 00:25:38,830
I'm on beat.
277
00:25:39,122 --> 00:25:40,206
You know there's
something wrong.
278
00:25:40,499 --> 00:25:41,208
No feet!
279
00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:42,626
You see how easy now.
280
00:25:42,918 --> 00:25:43,585
Aha!
281
00:25:43,877 --> 00:25:44,878
You see how east now.
282
00:25:45,170 --> 00:25:45,712
Walk beat.
283
00:25:46,004 --> 00:25:48,840
[BEATBOXING]
284
00:25:55,263 --> 00:25:59,763
(SINGING) Fish out of
water in Mondo, New York.
285
00:26:00,227 --> 00:26:04,727
Fish out of water, there's
lots more in store.
286
00:26:05,023 --> 00:26:09,523
Fish out of water, you
dream then ask why.
287
00:26:09,820 --> 00:26:14,199
Fish out of water,
it's your turn tonight.
288
00:26:14,491 --> 00:26:17,076
The cost of living
now is bad taste.
289
00:26:17,369 --> 00:26:17,827
Look at the aces.
290
00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:19,329
It's so insane!
291
00:26:19,621 --> 00:26:20,413
Time is ticking now.
292
00:26:20,705 --> 00:26:21,580
This coffee's hot.
293
00:26:21,873 --> 00:26:22,790
That's why I don't clothe.
294
00:26:23,083 --> 00:26:24,000
And you're not!
295
00:26:24,292 --> 00:26:28,504
(SINGING) Fish out of
water, now what can we do?
296
00:26:28,797 --> 00:26:33,297
Fish out of water,
our face are so blue.
297
00:26:33,677 --> 00:26:34,594
We're people's juice now.
298
00:26:34,886 --> 00:26:36,137
They call us names.
299
00:26:36,429 --> 00:26:37,221
Hey, turkey!
300
00:26:37,514 --> 00:26:38,097
Weirdo!
301
00:26:38,390 --> 00:26:39,140
Buckle old.
302
00:26:39,432 --> 00:26:40,266
Hobo!
303
00:26:40,559 --> 00:26:41,184
Slag!
304
00:26:41,476 --> 00:26:44,395
Yo Mama.
305
00:26:44,688 --> 00:26:45,230
Your defeat?
306
00:26:45,522 --> 00:26:46,481
Would that be it now?
307
00:26:46,773 --> 00:26:48,065
Hey, skipper beat.
308
00:26:48,358 --> 00:26:50,193
And wrong Take me.
309
00:26:50,485 --> 00:26:51,277
You see how easy now.
310
00:26:51,570 --> 00:26:52,362
We're on the beat.
311
00:26:52,654 --> 00:26:56,908
(SINGING) Fish out of the
water in Mondo, New York.
312
00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:01,700
Fish out of water, there's
lots more in store.
313
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:06,209
Fish out of the water,
you'll dream then ask why.
314
00:27:06,501 --> 00:27:10,129
Fish out of water,
it your turn tonight.
315
00:27:28,148 --> 00:27:29,440
New York is my town.
316
00:27:29,733 --> 00:27:30,316
Did you hear me?
317
00:27:30,609 --> 00:27:31,901
New York is my town.
318
00:27:32,194 --> 00:27:33,403
Forget about that Edwina Koch.
319
00:27:33,695 --> 00:27:37,407
[LAUGHS] [GRUNTS] I'm the
mayor of New York City.
320
00:27:37,699 --> 00:27:42,199
I own Fifth Avenue, Wall
Street, the money, the people,
321
00:27:42,537 --> 00:27:45,540
the city, the trees, the
street vendors, the musicians,
322
00:27:45,832 --> 00:27:46,999
the artists, the drug addicts.
323
00:27:47,292 --> 00:27:49,043
It all belongs to me.
324
00:27:49,336 --> 00:27:52,839
I own everything you see here--
the buildings, everything!
325
00:27:53,131 --> 00:27:53,548
Do you hear me?
326
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,676
If you don't believe me, I'll
turn your heat off in February
327
00:27:56,968 --> 00:27:58,094
and put it back on in August.
328
00:27:58,386 --> 00:28:00,846
[LAUGHS]
329
00:28:01,139 --> 00:28:03,891
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
330
00:28:06,478 --> 00:28:09,856
[CHATTER]
331
00:28:11,399 --> 00:28:13,567
Me and guys sell drugs out
here to support my family.
332
00:28:13,860 --> 00:28:15,444
It's just like a 9:00
to 5:00 job to me, just
333
00:28:15,737 --> 00:28:16,863
like anything else.
334
00:28:17,155 --> 00:28:19,282
But the thing that bugs me
the most is when I get busted,
335
00:28:19,574 --> 00:28:20,491
the cops are younger than me.
336
00:28:20,784 --> 00:28:24,037
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
337
00:28:44,015 --> 00:28:47,435
[CHATTER]
338
00:29:22,220 --> 00:29:23,554
[CHEERING]
339
00:29:23,847 --> 00:29:25,515
Give a round of applause.
340
00:29:25,807 --> 00:29:26,557
(CHANTING) Charlie!
341
00:29:26,850 --> 00:29:27,642
Charlie!
342
00:29:27,934 --> 00:29:28,643
Charlie!
343
00:29:28,935 --> 00:29:31,145
Charlie!
344
00:29:31,438 --> 00:29:32,647
Hey!
345
00:29:32,939 --> 00:29:36,192
[CHEERING]
346
00:29:39,279 --> 00:29:40,989
We got a nice crowd here.
347
00:29:41,281 --> 00:29:42,532
Yeah!
348
00:29:42,824 --> 00:29:44,575
I love a New York audience.
349
00:29:44,868 --> 00:29:46,452
[CHEERING]
350
00:29:46,745 --> 00:29:47,746
I mean, look at this crowd.
351
00:29:48,038 --> 00:29:48,955
We're in the Village.
352
00:29:49,247 --> 00:29:49,956
I love the Village.
353
00:29:50,248 --> 00:29:52,333
We got a nice mixed crowd.
354
00:29:52,625 --> 00:29:53,042
Look what we got.
355
00:29:53,335 --> 00:29:54,294
We got white folks.
356
00:29:54,586 --> 00:29:56,045
[CHEERING]
357
00:29:56,338 --> 00:29:58,214
We got Black folks!
358
00:29:58,506 --> 00:29:59,423
[CHEERING]
359
00:29:59,716 --> 00:30:01,092
We got Puerto Ricans!
360
00:30:01,384 --> 00:30:02,593
[CHEERING]
361
00:30:02,886 --> 00:30:03,595
Puerto Ricans!
362
00:30:03,887 --> 00:30:04,721
[CHEERING]
363
00:30:05,013 --> 00:30:05,763
Puerto Ricans!
364
00:30:06,056 --> 00:30:08,391
[LAUGHTER]
365
00:30:08,683 --> 00:30:10,309
We got a lot of
fucking Puerto Ricans.
366
00:30:10,602 --> 00:30:11,603
[LAUGHTER]
367
00:30:11,895 --> 00:30:13,980
But I'm not going to fuck
with the Puerto Ricans, man,
368
00:30:14,272 --> 00:30:17,108
because y'all born
with knives, right?
369
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,527
Y'all cut me up, and I won't
even know what you're saying.
370
00:30:19,819 --> 00:30:21,070
[MUMBLING]
371
00:30:21,363 --> 00:30:22,364
[LAUGHTER]
372
00:30:22,655 --> 00:30:25,741
And when you finish,
you go, que pasa, bro.
373
00:30:26,034 --> 00:30:28,244
Because I got into a fight
with a Puerto Rican kid
374
00:30:28,536 --> 00:30:30,454
and I was winning, I
was bouncing around
375
00:30:30,747 --> 00:30:31,581
like Sugar Ray Leonard.
376
00:30:31,873 --> 00:30:32,748
I was bam-bam-bam!
377
00:30:33,041 --> 00:30:34,584
He was only about that tall.
378
00:30:34,876 --> 00:30:36,127
[LAUGHTER]
379
00:30:36,419 --> 00:30:38,003
Then all of a sudden,
he went like this.
380
00:30:38,296 --> 00:30:42,796
[WHISTLES] And I was surrounded
by a small Puerto Rican
381
00:30:43,343 --> 00:30:44,427
family of 4,000.
382
00:30:44,719 --> 00:30:45,636
[LAUGHTER]
383
00:30:45,929 --> 00:30:46,930
I like everything, man.
384
00:30:47,222 --> 00:30:50,433
Let me borrow it, OK?
385
00:30:50,725 --> 00:30:52,143
I like pocket books.
386
00:30:52,435 --> 00:30:53,894
I love pocket books.
387
00:30:54,187 --> 00:30:56,355
I like the way white women
walk with their pocketbook
388
00:30:56,648 --> 00:30:58,816
when there's no Negroes around.
389
00:30:59,109 --> 00:31:00,693
(SINGING) I don't
see no niggers.
390
00:31:00,985 --> 00:31:01,610
[LAUGHTER]
391
00:31:01,903 --> 00:31:03,613
And you know what else
I like about New York?
392
00:31:03,905 --> 00:31:06,782
I like the way different
nationalities go to work.
393
00:31:07,075 --> 00:31:09,118
Everybody goes to
work different.
394
00:31:09,411 --> 00:31:11,371
For instance,
Caucasian businessmen--
395
00:31:11,663 --> 00:31:12,830
I need some white
people glasses.
396
00:31:15,542 --> 00:31:17,669
White people glasses,
right there, right there.
397
00:31:22,757 --> 00:31:23,090
Damn.
398
00:31:23,383 --> 00:31:24,300
You can't see shit.
399
00:31:24,592 --> 00:31:26,010
[LAUGHTER]
400
00:31:27,512 --> 00:31:28,679
I can't touch my dick.
401
00:31:28,972 --> 00:31:32,100
[LAUGHTER]
402
00:31:32,392 --> 00:31:34,060
How do white guys go to work?
403
00:31:34,352 --> 00:31:36,395
They got their briefcase.
404
00:31:36,688 --> 00:31:38,439
I can walk just like the
white man going to work.
405
00:31:38,731 --> 00:31:39,732
Watch this, white guys.
406
00:31:40,024 --> 00:31:43,277
[LAUGHTER]
407
00:31:45,363 --> 00:31:48,199
I love when they stand
on a corner and go--
408
00:31:48,491 --> 00:31:50,618
[LAUGHTER]
409
00:31:50,910 --> 00:31:52,661
And how do Black
folks go to work?
410
00:31:52,954 --> 00:31:56,165
We'd be talking
about, fuck it, I
411
00:31:56,458 --> 00:31:57,667
should get there
by payday, yeah.
412
00:31:57,959 --> 00:31:58,584
[LAUGHTER]
413
00:31:58,877 --> 00:32:00,086
[APPLAUSE]
414
00:32:02,547 --> 00:32:04,840
I'd do Puerto Ricans
but y'all don't work.
415
00:32:05,133 --> 00:32:05,842
[LAUGHTER]
416
00:32:06,134 --> 00:32:07,301
[APPLAUSE]
417
00:32:07,594 --> 00:32:08,386
There you go.
418
00:32:11,389 --> 00:32:11,931
I'm only kidding.
419
00:32:12,223 --> 00:32:13,849
If you're Puerto Rican,
I like Puerto Ricans.
420
00:32:14,142 --> 00:32:15,893
Y'all fuck a lot.
421
00:32:16,186 --> 00:32:18,605
You have babies
like Jiffy popcorn.
422
00:32:18,897 --> 00:32:21,065
[LAUGHTER]
423
00:32:21,357 --> 00:32:22,816
Whose glasses?
424
00:32:23,109 --> 00:32:23,609
Thanks a lot.
425
00:32:23,902 --> 00:32:24,903
I need a camera.
426
00:32:25,195 --> 00:32:25,695
I need a camera.
427
00:32:25,987 --> 00:32:26,904
Give me a camera.
428
00:32:27,197 --> 00:32:29,574
Give me a fucking
camera, white boy.
429
00:32:29,866 --> 00:32:31,492
Give me the camera quick,
quick, quick, quick.
430
00:32:31,784 --> 00:32:33,744
Throw it.
431
00:32:34,037 --> 00:32:35,163
Now, fuck with me.
432
00:32:35,455 --> 00:32:38,666
[LAUGHTER]
433
00:32:42,128 --> 00:32:43,671
You're Japanese or Korean?
434
00:32:43,963 --> 00:32:44,338
Korean.
435
00:32:44,631 --> 00:32:46,132
Oh, you all look alike.
436
00:32:46,424 --> 00:32:48,426
[LAUGHTER]
437
00:32:48,718 --> 00:32:49,051
Don't worry.
438
00:32:49,344 --> 00:32:51,679
I'll be talking about
niggers in a minute.
439
00:32:51,971 --> 00:32:54,556
In a minute, you'll be going,
oh, nigga funny now, huh?
440
00:32:54,849 --> 00:32:56,016
[LAUGHTER]
441
00:32:56,309 --> 00:32:57,476
Ho!
442
00:32:57,769 --> 00:33:00,897
[CHEERING]
443
00:33:01,481 --> 00:33:03,149
I like the Japanese tourists.
444
00:33:03,441 --> 00:33:06,444
The most fascinating
tourists are the Japanese.
445
00:33:06,736 --> 00:33:08,904
They always got a camera.
446
00:33:09,197 --> 00:33:13,284
I have never seen a
Jap without a camera.
447
00:33:13,576 --> 00:33:15,536
It's like niggers
without a radio.
448
00:33:15,828 --> 00:33:17,704
[LAUGHTER]
449
00:33:17,997 --> 00:33:19,832
And I like the way
Japanese people walk.
450
00:33:20,124 --> 00:33:24,624
They walk real fast and don't
be going no fucking place.
451
00:33:26,130 --> 00:33:28,715
That's why there's
so many here.
452
00:33:29,008 --> 00:33:30,884
By the time they get out
of bed and go to work,
453
00:33:31,177 --> 00:33:33,345
it's time to go back to bed.
454
00:33:33,638 --> 00:33:35,389
And they love the
World Trade Center.
455
00:33:35,682 --> 00:33:36,808
They love New York.
456
00:33:37,100 --> 00:33:39,143
They want to take the
picture, but they can never
457
00:33:39,435 --> 00:33:40,853
find the motherfucker.
458
00:33:41,145 --> 00:33:43,272
I like-- oh, there goes
are Ja-- you Japanese, sir?
459
00:33:43,565 --> 00:33:43,940
Yeah.
460
00:33:44,232 --> 00:33:44,690
Yeah.
461
00:33:44,983 --> 00:33:45,942
You're Chinese?
462
00:33:46,234 --> 00:33:46,609
Damn.
463
00:33:46,901 --> 00:33:47,359
I'm negroid.
464
00:33:47,652 --> 00:33:49,487
[LAUGHTER]
465
00:33:49,779 --> 00:33:50,404
I'm not Black.
466
00:33:50,697 --> 00:33:53,116
This is a birthmark.
467
00:33:53,408 --> 00:33:54,909
But I love the
Japanese tourists.
468
00:33:55,201 --> 00:33:56,285
They always got a camera, right?
469
00:33:56,578 --> 00:33:57,620
They want to take the picture.
470
00:33:57,912 --> 00:34:00,623
You ever see them?
471
00:34:00,915 --> 00:34:04,043
[LAUGHTER]
472
00:34:04,335 --> 00:34:07,546
[APPLAUSE]
473
00:34:16,931 --> 00:34:17,932
And then they find it.
474
00:34:18,224 --> 00:34:19,099
[MUMBLING]
475
00:34:19,392 --> 00:34:22,311
[LAUGHTER]
476
00:34:22,604 --> 00:34:23,605
I love everybody.
477
00:34:23,896 --> 00:34:25,731
I may do a lot ethnic humor.
478
00:34:26,024 --> 00:34:27,442
I do a lot of ethnic humor.
479
00:34:27,734 --> 00:34:31,362
But don't get me wrong, because
I know from within my heart
480
00:34:31,654 --> 00:34:33,322
that it's not Black and white.
481
00:34:33,615 --> 00:34:35,116
And it's not red and yellow.
482
00:34:35,408 --> 00:34:36,909
There's only one race.
483
00:34:37,201 --> 00:34:38,327
And that's the human race.
484
00:34:38,620 --> 00:34:38,995
Yeah!
485
00:34:39,287 --> 00:34:42,248
[CHEERING]
486
00:34:45,126 --> 00:34:46,794
The rest of them are Mexicans.
487
00:34:47,086 --> 00:34:47,795
[LAUGHTER]
488
00:34:48,087 --> 00:34:51,298
[CHEERING]
489
00:34:59,724 --> 00:35:03,477
Thank you, thank you.
490
00:35:03,770 --> 00:35:05,438
Ha-ha-ha.
491
00:35:05,730 --> 00:35:06,897
Stop.
492
00:35:07,190 --> 00:35:08,399
Stop.
493
00:35:08,691 --> 00:35:10,693
Stop.
494
00:35:10,985 --> 00:35:11,610
Stop.
495
00:35:11,903 --> 00:35:13,654
Hello, New York.
496
00:35:13,946 --> 00:35:15,906
Hey, isn't our city amazing?
497
00:35:16,199 --> 00:35:18,492
You can't walk down this
park without watching
498
00:35:18,785 --> 00:35:21,120
a different ethnic group
trying to sell you marijuana.
499
00:35:21,412 --> 00:35:25,124
Black guys, now, they sell
you marijuana with rhythm.
500
00:35:29,629 --> 00:35:31,505
Got that herb, y'all.
501
00:35:31,798 --> 00:35:32,131
[LAUGHTER]
502
00:35:32,423 --> 00:35:33,841
Like once in a while,
you get a poem, yo,
503
00:35:34,133 --> 00:35:36,844
I got herb here that'll
make you swerve,
504
00:35:37,136 --> 00:35:38,137
smoke that'll make you choke.
505
00:35:38,429 --> 00:35:41,390
Well, my grass will bust
your motherfucking ass.
506
00:35:41,683 --> 00:35:44,060
Hey, I've even seen
Jewish marijuana dealers.
507
00:35:44,352 --> 00:35:45,936
So what do you mean
it's not an ounce?
508
00:35:46,229 --> 00:35:46,812
That's an ounce.
509
00:35:47,105 --> 00:35:50,149
[LAUGHTER]
510
00:35:50,441 --> 00:35:53,527
[CHEERING]
511
00:35:54,112 --> 00:35:56,364
Oh, all of a sudden,
I'm a croaker
512
00:35:56,656 --> 00:36:01,156
at the A, Mr. Fancy
Schmancy, Mr. Smarty Pants.
513
00:36:02,203 --> 00:36:05,414
Rastafarians, every man spliff
joint the size of Madrid
514
00:36:05,707 --> 00:36:06,082
laughs.
515
00:36:06,374 --> 00:36:07,375
[LAUGHTER]
516
00:36:07,667 --> 00:36:09,585
Check it out, man.
517
00:36:09,877 --> 00:36:12,379
Puerto Ricans, boy, they
sell marijuana cautiously,
518
00:36:12,672 --> 00:36:13,589
hide behind the bushes.
519
00:36:16,050 --> 00:36:17,259
No, don't give me
the money, man.
520
00:36:17,552 --> 00:36:18,261
Don't give me the money.
521
00:36:18,553 --> 00:36:19,136
[LAUGHTER]
522
00:36:19,429 --> 00:36:20,721
No, don't give it to
me, give it to him.
523
00:36:21,013 --> 00:36:21,388
Oh, shit.
524
00:36:21,681 --> 00:36:22,973
Geraldo Rivera, he got a camera.
525
00:36:23,266 --> 00:36:26,102
[LAUGHTER]
526
00:36:26,394 --> 00:36:28,938
Can't talk about New York unless
you talk about the gay folks.
527
00:36:29,230 --> 00:36:30,231
Oh, we got them here.
528
00:36:30,523 --> 00:36:32,316
I know there's one or two
here them straight gays,
529
00:36:32,608 --> 00:36:33,692
guys with suits and ties.
530
00:36:33,985 --> 00:36:34,443
Hi, I'm Bill.
531
00:36:34,736 --> 00:36:35,528
I'm a homosexual.
532
00:36:35,820 --> 00:36:37,029
[LAUGHTER]
533
00:36:37,321 --> 00:36:37,779
I own a company.
534
00:36:38,072 --> 00:36:40,115
I'm writing a book
on how to get ahead.
535
00:36:40,408 --> 00:36:41,033
[LAUGHTER]
536
00:36:41,325 --> 00:36:43,910
[APPLAUSE]
537
00:36:44,203 --> 00:36:46,496
Young Black gay guys, boy,
they be advertising it.
538
00:36:46,789 --> 00:36:49,124
That's right, honey.
539
00:36:49,417 --> 00:36:52,253
That's right, Miss
Thing, and I love it.
540
00:36:52,545 --> 00:36:55,631
All night long, girlfriend.
541
00:36:55,923 --> 00:36:57,299
Puerto Rican gays, oi!
542
00:36:57,592 --> 00:36:58,342
He's so cute!
543
00:36:58,634 --> 00:37:00,761
[LAUGHTER]
544
00:37:01,053 --> 00:37:02,721
[APPLAUSE]
545
00:37:03,014 --> 00:37:05,474
I want to know his name.
546
00:37:05,767 --> 00:37:06,642
Do you know how to hustle?
547
00:37:06,934 --> 00:37:08,644
[WORDLESS SINGING] Bah.
548
00:37:08,936 --> 00:37:11,605
White gay guys, I am so pissed.
549
00:37:11,898 --> 00:37:14,442
[LAUGHTER]
550
00:37:14,734 --> 00:37:19,234
Fill Up is so
insensitive, he really is.
551
00:37:19,530 --> 00:37:21,865
Seems like everybody in
New York got an attitude,
552
00:37:22,158 --> 00:37:23,659
even the winos are hostile.
553
00:37:23,951 --> 00:37:25,202
Come here, you son of a bitch.
554
00:37:25,495 --> 00:37:26,913
[LAUGHTER]
555
00:37:27,205 --> 00:37:29,540
Yeah, you, give me a quarter.
556
00:37:29,832 --> 00:37:30,749
I cleaned your windshield.
557
00:37:31,042 --> 00:37:31,792
Want me to do it again?
558
00:37:32,084 --> 00:37:34,628
[RASPBERRY] It's
different out in LA.
559
00:37:34,921 --> 00:37:36,005
Boy, I was out
there for a while.
560
00:37:36,297 --> 00:37:37,923
LA winos are like, yo, dude.
561
00:37:38,216 --> 00:37:40,259
You have a hundred dollars
for a bottle of Dom Perignon?
562
00:37:40,551 --> 00:37:43,554
[LAUGHTER]
563
00:37:44,555 --> 00:37:45,806
Even the pigeons are weird.
564
00:37:46,098 --> 00:37:47,516
They sit in full
lotus positions.
565
00:37:47,809 --> 00:37:49,477
They meditate.
566
00:37:49,769 --> 00:37:51,562
I totally don't know
if I'm going to fly.
567
00:37:51,854 --> 00:37:52,855
[LAUGHTER]
568
00:37:53,147 --> 00:37:57,234
I know it's a bitchin' day,
but gag me with a bread stick.
569
00:37:57,527 --> 00:37:59,070
Boston pigeons,
they're educated.
570
00:37:59,362 --> 00:38:00,029
Smelly?
571
00:38:00,321 --> 00:38:02,448
[LAUGHTER]
572
00:38:02,740 --> 00:38:05,200
Still working on that thesis?
573
00:38:05,493 --> 00:38:06,911
Merci, thought I'd
take the day-off,
574
00:38:07,203 --> 00:38:10,623
go for a flight in the calm, and
then crap on a statue or two.
575
00:38:10,915 --> 00:38:12,708
Pigeons in New York,
boy, these motherfuckers
576
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:14,793
look like they're on heroin.
577
00:38:15,086 --> 00:38:15,878
Their feathers are frayed.
578
00:38:16,170 --> 00:38:16,837
Their wings are broken.
579
00:38:17,129 --> 00:38:18,672
They're in the park.
580
00:38:18,965 --> 00:38:22,134
[LAUGHTER]
581
00:38:22,718 --> 00:38:26,221
Hey, Bobby, seen the bread man?
582
00:38:26,514 --> 00:38:29,308
[LAUGHTER]
583
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,269
Hey, the old guy with
the bread, you seen him?
584
00:38:32,562 --> 00:38:34,689
Hope he didn't die on us.
585
00:38:34,981 --> 00:38:36,273
Where are you going
to be, in a tree?
586
00:38:36,566 --> 00:38:38,818
You can fly?
587
00:38:39,110 --> 00:38:41,445
What do you want, croutons?
588
00:38:41,737 --> 00:38:42,654
Yeah, I'll talk to you later.
589
00:38:42,947 --> 00:38:43,656
I'll be under the bench.
590
00:38:43,948 --> 00:38:45,658
Prr.
591
00:38:45,950 --> 00:38:46,408
I hate pigeons.
592
00:38:46,701 --> 00:38:51,038
Well, I'd like to catch a
pigeon and shit on it just once.
593
00:38:51,330 --> 00:38:52,539
Fly now, motherfucker man.
594
00:38:52,832 --> 00:38:54,834
[LAUGHTER]
595
00:38:55,126 --> 00:38:56,752
New York, boy, I know
there's-- how many-- oh,
596
00:38:57,044 --> 00:38:58,795
we ain't got no
real whiteys here.
597
00:38:59,088 --> 00:38:59,755
You know who you are.
598
00:39:00,047 --> 00:39:02,007
Real whiteys, you can't hang out
with Blacks and Puerto Ricans.
599
00:39:02,300 --> 00:39:02,633
You get nervous.
600
00:39:02,925 --> 00:39:03,967
Margaret, let's get
the fuck out of here.
601
00:39:04,260 --> 00:39:04,635
Come on.
602
00:39:04,927 --> 00:39:06,303
[LAUGHTER]
603
00:39:06,596 --> 00:39:07,763
Come on, the niggers on drugs.
604
00:39:08,055 --> 00:39:08,430
Let's go.
605
00:39:08,723 --> 00:39:09,223
[LAUGHTER]
606
00:39:09,515 --> 00:39:10,474
[CHEERING]
607
00:39:10,766 --> 00:39:13,059
Thank you very much.
608
00:39:13,352 --> 00:39:14,519
What a great crowd.
609
00:39:14,812 --> 00:39:18,023
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
610
00:39:36,459 --> 00:39:40,129
Once upon a time,
in a ghetto far,
611
00:39:40,421 --> 00:39:44,921
far away, there lived a
tribe of suburban refugees,
612
00:39:46,052 --> 00:39:50,014
drawn to the big city in search
of fame, fortune, and fun.
613
00:39:50,306 --> 00:39:52,975
Self-exiled from the
American 9:00 to 5:00,
614
00:39:53,267 --> 00:39:55,310
two-car family
living comforts, they
615
00:39:55,603 --> 00:39:57,688
migrated to the
nocturnal bohemian
616
00:39:57,980 --> 00:40:01,358
world of downtown Manhattan's
misfitted Lower East Side.
617
00:40:01,651 --> 00:40:03,778
At a time when the Bee Gees
were at the top of the charts,
618
00:40:04,070 --> 00:40:06,155
these young pioneers
boldly went where
619
00:40:06,447 --> 00:40:08,115
no white man had gone before--
620
00:40:08,407 --> 00:40:12,907
Avenue B, Avenue C, Avenue D,
Spanish Harlem, and beyond.
621
00:40:13,746 --> 00:40:17,791
This was the final
frontier, my little friends.
622
00:40:18,084 --> 00:40:21,253
And so these not so
young anymore hopefuls
623
00:40:21,545 --> 00:40:23,463
continued their
struggle until success
624
00:40:23,756 --> 00:40:24,882
would come to collect them.
625
00:40:25,174 --> 00:40:27,009
How were they to
envision the future
626
00:40:27,301 --> 00:40:29,219
that the unwritten
prophecy that foretold
627
00:40:29,512 --> 00:40:33,474
of annual incomes of $100,000
or more, of tax audits
628
00:40:33,766 --> 00:40:35,768
and financial planners that
would beget mutual fund
629
00:40:36,060 --> 00:40:36,518
portfolios.
630
00:40:36,811 --> 00:40:40,189
Tax deductible IRAs, Jenny
Mays, Ellie Mays, Daisy Mays,
631
00:40:40,481 --> 00:40:42,232
CD interest rates
of less than 5%,
632
00:40:42,525 --> 00:40:44,276
personal managers,
safe investments,
633
00:40:44,568 --> 00:40:46,861
insurance premiums,
residual checks,
634
00:40:47,154 --> 00:40:49,447
Oscars, Emmys, Grammys,
Tonys, Buffy's,
635
00:40:49,740 --> 00:40:51,742
Jodi's, rampant
jealousies, nurtured
636
00:40:52,034 --> 00:40:56,121
dissent, litigious natures, cat
scratch fever, and court orders
637
00:40:56,414 --> 00:40:57,164
to cease and desist!
638
00:41:01,419 --> 00:41:04,588
[SCOFFS] Oh, yes.
639
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,007
Yes, my old friend, come.
640
00:41:07,299 --> 00:41:08,967
Come to me.
641
00:41:09,260 --> 00:41:11,178
The channels kept changing.
642
00:41:11,470 --> 00:41:13,930
And-- and the
reruns kept running.
643
00:41:14,223 --> 00:41:15,849
And the leftovers were
reheated and eaten.
644
00:41:16,142 --> 00:41:20,563
But-- but what was once for
the few was now for the many.
645
00:41:20,855 --> 00:41:25,355
And-- and they finally realized
that their 15 minutes we're up.
646
00:41:32,783 --> 00:41:36,203
[WHIMSICAL MUSIC]
647
00:41:53,804 --> 00:41:57,224
[WORDLESS SINGING]
648
00:42:18,829 --> 00:42:22,249
[THUMPING]
649
00:42:39,850 --> 00:42:41,184
[BIRD CHIRPING]
650
00:42:41,477 --> 00:42:44,771
[SCREAMING]
651
00:42:50,361 --> 00:42:53,781
[TRAIN CHUGGING]
652
00:43:01,872 --> 00:43:05,709
[JOHNNY PACHECO, "FIGHT MY
COCK"]
653
00:43:06,001 --> 00:43:07,794
[TRAIN ANNOUNCEMENT]
654
00:43:27,398 --> 00:43:30,818
[CHATTER]
655
00:43:50,421 --> 00:43:53,841
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
656
00:44:05,936 --> 00:44:09,356
[CHATTER]
657
00:44:27,458 --> 00:44:30,878
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
658
00:44:42,681 --> 00:44:46,059
[CHATTER]
659
00:44:51,065 --> 00:44:54,443
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
660
00:44:58,614 --> 00:45:01,992
[CHATTER]
661
00:45:06,997 --> 00:45:10,375
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
662
00:45:14,171 --> 00:45:17,591
[CHATTER]
663
00:45:22,137 --> 00:45:25,557
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
664
00:45:30,104 --> 00:45:33,482
[CHATTER]
665
00:45:38,070 --> 00:45:41,364
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
666
00:45:41,657 --> 00:45:44,910
[CHATTER]
667
00:46:16,317 --> 00:46:19,737
[MELLOW MUSIC]
668
00:46:21,822 --> 00:46:23,114
[CAR HONKING]
669
00:46:23,407 --> 00:46:26,701
[CHATTER]
670
00:46:36,795 --> 00:46:39,005
[NON-ENGLISH CONVERSATION]
671
00:48:20,899 --> 00:48:23,234
[CROWD EXCLAIMS]
672
00:48:23,527 --> 00:48:26,738
[NON-ENGLISH CONVERSATION]
673
00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:08,196
[THUNDER CRACKS]
674
00:49:08,489 --> 00:49:11,742
[SEXY MUSIC]
675
00:49:34,181 --> 00:49:37,559
[EERIE MUSIC]
676
00:49:58,038 --> 00:50:00,832
This is a poem celebrating
the realization
677
00:50:01,124 --> 00:50:03,459
that poems aren't going
to change anything.
678
00:50:03,752 --> 00:50:05,170
I'm still writing anyways.
679
00:50:05,462 --> 00:50:08,673
But they ain't going to
change this mean, crazy,
680
00:50:08,966 --> 00:50:11,927
fucked up and down world
of shit and more shit.
681
00:50:12,219 --> 00:50:14,804
Now, on the brighter
side of the landscape,
682
00:50:15,097 --> 00:50:17,557
we have, of course, the
prospect that this poem
683
00:50:17,849 --> 00:50:21,352
will become an active member of
the curriculum of eighth grade
684
00:50:21,645 --> 00:50:22,604
English classes.
685
00:50:22,896 --> 00:50:24,564
And when the teacher
says my name,
686
00:50:24,856 --> 00:50:29,356
everyone will smile real pretty
and say that I was a good guy.
687
00:50:29,820 --> 00:50:33,406
Man, I could change this world
if these assholes gave me
688
00:50:33,699 --> 00:50:34,157
a chance.
689
00:50:34,449 --> 00:50:35,825
Everything starts
out small, see?
690
00:50:36,118 --> 00:50:37,577
But I ain't going to stay small.
691
00:50:37,869 --> 00:50:39,704
Like if you're reading this
here piece of shit now,
692
00:50:39,997 --> 00:50:40,664
I'm making progress.
693
00:50:40,956 --> 00:50:41,456
Ain't I?
694
00:50:41,748 --> 00:50:44,625
And even if you decide to wipe
your ass with this work of art,
695
00:50:44,918 --> 00:50:47,003
man, I'm glad to be of service.
696
00:50:47,296 --> 00:50:48,255
That's why I'm here.
697
00:50:48,547 --> 00:50:51,424
Look, the poet
uses words like you
698
00:50:51,717 --> 00:50:54,720
use spit or Vaseline or Crisco.
699
00:50:55,012 --> 00:50:57,055
So I rub these words on a page.
700
00:50:57,347 --> 00:50:58,639
And you slowly take them in.
701
00:50:58,932 --> 00:51:02,018
It's quite literally
getting fucked by letters.
702
00:51:02,311 --> 00:51:05,439
The vowels and the
smaller shafted consonants
703
00:51:05,731 --> 00:51:08,442
are fairly easy to take even
for the more tight-assed
704
00:51:08,734 --> 00:51:12,946
amongst you, while other bigger,
wider consonants require,
705
00:51:13,238 --> 00:51:16,282
in some cases, the use
of drugs and poppers.
706
00:51:16,575 --> 00:51:18,618
Feeling it inside yet, huh?
707
00:51:18,910 --> 00:51:23,410
This hot, wet, sloppy,
slimy, scummy, suckable poem
708
00:51:23,790 --> 00:51:26,250
slipped into a prophylactic
with a French tickler made
709
00:51:26,543 --> 00:51:29,003
of razor blades, being
jammed up your asshole,
710
00:51:29,296 --> 00:51:30,338
and you stop fighting.
711
00:51:30,631 --> 00:51:33,884
And we're almost enjoying it
until this mad man decided
712
00:51:34,176 --> 00:51:35,093
to piss up your ass.
713
00:51:35,385 --> 00:51:36,552
And you began to taste it.
714
00:51:36,845 --> 00:51:37,679
And it came out your mouth.
715
00:51:37,971 --> 00:51:40,014
And then he started
kissing you, setting up
716
00:51:40,307 --> 00:51:44,311
a cycle to keep it flowing
forever and ever and ever
717
00:51:44,603 --> 00:51:45,979
and ever.
718
00:51:46,271 --> 00:51:48,523
The poet fucking the reader.
719
00:51:48,815 --> 00:51:51,317
The poet pissing in
the reader's mouth,
720
00:51:51,610 --> 00:51:53,486
kissing and drinking
his own words.
721
00:51:53,779 --> 00:51:55,322
He gets more turned on.
722
00:51:55,614 --> 00:51:58,491
You get hotter, and
the scene gets wilder.
723
00:51:58,784 --> 00:52:00,869
The dog's still horny for more.
724
00:52:01,161 --> 00:52:04,247
The poet is rapist, looking
to get into something,
725
00:52:04,539 --> 00:52:05,540
will hurt you if necessary.
726
00:52:05,832 --> 00:52:08,084
So just cooperate and
you'll be better off.
727
00:52:08,377 --> 00:52:10,545
I want you to look
at this fucking poem.
728
00:52:10,837 --> 00:52:11,254
Lick it.
729
00:52:11,546 --> 00:52:13,506
Look at it again real long, huh?
730
00:52:13,799 --> 00:52:17,511
Now, go ahead and relax and see
how easy it is the second time.
731
00:52:17,803 --> 00:52:18,345
Go ahead.
732
00:52:18,637 --> 00:52:21,139
Good, good, I told you.
733
00:52:21,431 --> 00:52:23,975
I'm glad to be of service.
734
00:52:24,267 --> 00:52:26,394
[CHATTER]
735
00:52:26,687 --> 00:52:29,940
[SIRENS WAILING]
736
00:52:35,946 --> 00:52:39,324
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
737
00:52:42,577 --> 00:52:45,246
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
738
00:52:59,720 --> 00:53:01,555
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
739
00:53:01,847 --> 00:53:05,100
[BELLS RINGING]
740
00:53:06,184 --> 00:53:08,352
[NON-ENGLISH SPEECH]
741
00:53:10,897 --> 00:53:14,233
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
742
00:53:50,896 --> 00:53:54,274
[BELLS RINGING]
743
00:53:56,318 --> 00:53:59,571
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
744
00:54:36,274 --> 00:54:39,694
[BELLS RINGING]
745
00:55:04,719 --> 00:55:08,139
[FLUTTERING]
746
00:55:08,723 --> 00:55:12,143
[NON-ENGLISH SINGING]
747
00:56:47,656 --> 00:56:51,034
[MUSIC PLAYING]
748
00:57:00,627 --> 00:57:04,047
[CHEERING]
749
00:57:19,104 --> 00:57:21,439
[TINKLING MUSIC]
750
00:57:21,731 --> 00:57:25,025
[JOEY ARIAS, "HARD DAY'S NIGHT]
751
00:57:34,244 --> 00:57:38,744
It's been a hard day's night,
I've been working like a dog.
752
00:57:43,586 --> 00:57:47,715
It's been a hard day's night.
753
00:57:48,008 --> 00:57:52,387
I should be sleeping like a log.
754
00:57:52,679 --> 00:57:56,140
When I get home to
you, I find the things
755
00:57:56,433 --> 00:58:00,186
that you do will make
you feel all right.
756
00:58:03,940 --> 00:58:08,440
You know I work all day to get
you money to buy you things.
757
00:58:13,074 --> 00:58:17,574
And it was yesterday he said,
I'll give you everything.
758
00:58:21,583 --> 00:58:25,962
Because when I get you
alone, when I get you home,
759
00:58:26,254 --> 00:58:30,132
you know I feel OK.
760
00:58:30,425 --> 00:58:34,925
When I'm cold, baby,
you're holding me tight.
761
00:58:39,267 --> 00:58:43,767
When I'm home, baby, you're
holding me tight, tight.
762
00:58:48,568 --> 00:58:53,068
Been a hard day's night,
I've been working like a dog.
763
00:58:57,035 --> 00:59:01,535
It's been a hard day's night, I
should be sleeping like a log.
764
00:59:06,127 --> 00:59:09,380
But when I get home to
you, I find the things
765
00:59:09,672 --> 00:59:13,676
that you do will make
me feel all right.
766
00:59:13,968 --> 00:59:14,426
Take me, baby.
767
00:59:22,477 --> 00:59:25,855
[CHEERING]
768
00:59:31,903 --> 00:59:36,403
Because when I get you at
home, when I get you alone,
769
00:59:36,741 --> 00:59:40,619
you know I feel OK.
770
00:59:40,912 --> 00:59:45,412
When I'm home, baby,
you're holding me tight.
771
00:59:47,585 --> 00:59:49,420
Yeah, baby.
772
00:59:49,712 --> 00:59:54,212
When I'm home, baby, you're
holding me tight, tight.
773
00:59:58,930 --> 01:00:02,141
Been a hard day's night.
774
01:00:02,433 --> 01:00:03,559
[CHEERING]
775
01:00:03,852 --> 01:00:07,146
I've been working like a dog.
776
01:00:07,438 --> 01:00:11,733
It's been a hard
day's night, you
777
01:00:12,026 --> 01:00:15,612
know I should be
sleeping like a log.
778
01:00:15,905 --> 01:00:18,198
Because when I
get home to you, I
779
01:00:18,491 --> 01:00:22,244
find the things that you
do will make me feel all--
780
01:00:22,537 --> 01:00:24,205
All right.
781
01:00:24,497 --> 01:00:26,624
You know I feel all--
782
01:00:26,916 --> 01:00:29,084
All right.
783
01:00:29,377 --> 01:00:33,798
You know I feel all right, yeah.
784
01:00:34,090 --> 01:00:35,633
(SPEAKING) Listen to me, baby.
785
01:00:35,925 --> 01:00:36,342
Shut up.
786
01:00:36,634 --> 01:00:39,136
Come on, just shut
the fuck up right now.
787
01:00:39,429 --> 01:00:43,929
(SINGING) You make
me feel all right.
788
01:00:50,857 --> 01:00:54,235
[CHEERING]
789
01:01:14,672 --> 01:01:16,715
I hate yellow!
790
01:01:17,008 --> 01:01:19,760
I hate all your pastel shirts!
791
01:01:20,053 --> 01:01:22,638
I hate your pastel clothes!
792
01:01:22,931 --> 01:01:24,682
And you come into
my neighborhood
793
01:01:24,974 --> 01:01:27,142
with those fancy
teeth of yours, oh,
794
01:01:27,435 --> 01:01:29,061
just grinning in
my neighborhood,
795
01:01:29,354 --> 01:01:32,315
just looking at my buildings,
looking how you can buy them
796
01:01:32,607 --> 01:01:35,735
and making it into
some buxom commodity.
797
01:01:36,027 --> 01:01:36,819
Oh, I know!
798
01:01:37,111 --> 01:01:39,822
Don't you know that
the only time I'm happy
799
01:01:40,114 --> 01:01:41,740
is when I'm depressed?
800
01:01:42,033 --> 01:01:46,245
Oh, don't you know I'm only
happy wearing dark clothes?
801
01:01:46,537 --> 01:01:48,830
I'm a creature of the night.
802
01:01:49,123 --> 01:01:51,291
I tell you, Mr.
Entrepreneur, you
803
01:01:51,584 --> 01:01:53,627
are the reason why
David's cookies
804
01:01:53,920 --> 01:01:55,588
is a symbol of our culture!
805
01:01:55,880 --> 01:02:00,380
Oh, you are the reason why
fast food is the only growth
806
01:02:01,094 --> 01:02:03,012
industry of my nation!
807
01:02:03,304 --> 01:02:06,974
Oh, I'm going to give it to
you in all your pastel ways!
808
01:02:07,267 --> 01:02:09,936
Oh, I tell you, I hate yellow.
809
01:02:10,228 --> 01:02:13,439
[SEXY MUSIC]
810
01:02:15,942 --> 01:02:19,278
[CHEERING]
811
01:02:48,182 --> 01:02:51,602
[THUMPING]
812
01:02:55,189 --> 01:02:58,567
[RUSTLING]
813
01:03:08,369 --> 01:03:08,702
Wow.
814
01:03:08,995 --> 01:03:12,164
[CHEERING]
815
01:03:19,088 --> 01:03:20,297
Do you like my curls?
816
01:03:20,590 --> 01:03:21,882
I like them.
817
01:03:22,175 --> 01:03:22,508
Yeah!
818
01:03:25,386 --> 01:03:29,515
I like this one with the little
bunny, the little baby bunny.
819
01:03:29,807 --> 01:03:33,101
[SEXY MUSIC]
820
01:04:05,510 --> 01:04:08,930
[CHEERING]
821
01:04:16,479 --> 01:04:18,814
This is-- this is art, buddy.
822
01:04:19,107 --> 01:04:22,360
[SEXY MUSIC]
823
01:04:53,182 --> 01:04:57,644
So I don't have any more
times for fun or games.
824
01:04:57,937 --> 01:05:01,774
Oh, I have no more
money for sex or drugs.
825
01:05:02,066 --> 01:05:04,735
Also, I took too many
sleeping pills, baby,
826
01:05:05,027 --> 01:05:06,778
and nothing happened.
827
01:05:07,071 --> 01:05:11,033
Oh, so I put my head in the
oven and nothing happened.
828
01:05:11,325 --> 01:05:13,577
Oh, so I put a gun
to my head, baby.
829
01:05:13,870 --> 01:05:15,413
Nothing happened.
830
01:05:15,705 --> 01:05:20,205
Oh, so I fucked you all night
long and nothing happened.
831
01:05:20,626 --> 01:05:23,920
Oh, so I went to college
and nothing happened.
832
01:05:24,213 --> 01:05:27,799
I also went on a diet
and nothing happened.
833
01:05:28,092 --> 01:05:32,554
Oh, so I became macrobiotic
and nothing happened.
834
01:05:32,847 --> 01:05:35,516
Oh, so I went to college
and nothing happened.
835
01:05:35,808 --> 01:05:38,101
And I never paid back
that student loan
836
01:05:38,394 --> 01:05:39,311
because nothing happened.
837
01:05:39,604 --> 01:05:40,229
[CHEERING]
838
01:05:40,521 --> 01:05:43,440
Oh, so I went out, I
went out, I went out
839
01:05:43,733 --> 01:05:46,152
to the tunnel, baby,
and nothing happened.
840
01:05:46,444 --> 01:05:47,278
I went to Nell's.
841
01:05:47,570 --> 01:05:50,364
I went to the Palladium
and nothing happened.
842
01:05:50,656 --> 01:05:54,451
I went out to Soho
and nothing happened.
843
01:05:54,744 --> 01:05:58,247
Oh, I put out some roach
motels and nothing happened.
844
01:05:58,539 --> 01:06:00,374
I voted for Jesse Jackson.
845
01:06:00,666 --> 01:06:02,084
Oh, I'm going to terrorize.
846
01:06:02,376 --> 01:06:03,835
I'm going to petition
because something,
847
01:06:04,128 --> 01:06:05,671
because there's something,
because there's--
848
01:06:05,963 --> 01:06:08,507
[LAUGHS] because something's
going to happen, Mr. Yuppie.
849
01:06:08,799 --> 01:06:11,343
I'm not going to let you
gang rape me anymore,
850
01:06:11,636 --> 01:06:12,678
Mr. Entrepreneur.
851
01:06:12,970 --> 01:06:15,931
Oooh, no, oh, no.
852
01:06:16,224 --> 01:06:17,975
You just looking
at me and thinking
853
01:06:18,267 --> 01:06:20,018
how you can make another deal.
854
01:06:20,311 --> 01:06:22,229
You just looking at me
and thinking how you
855
01:06:22,522 --> 01:06:24,357
can make another piece of cash.
856
01:06:24,649 --> 01:06:27,234
Oh, so I just take you
and put you on the street.
857
01:06:27,527 --> 01:06:31,155
And I just tie you up, tie you
up, make your feel blessed.
858
01:06:31,447 --> 01:06:34,450
You're Oscar de la
Renta, Jeffrey Bean,
859
01:06:34,742 --> 01:06:38,704
you're Macy's, you're
Bloomingdale's, you're CDs,
860
01:06:38,996 --> 01:06:39,413
you're Quiz.
861
01:06:39,705 --> 01:06:41,623
And as I ruin you in it--
862
01:06:41,916 --> 01:06:43,500
I'll ruin you in it, boy.
863
01:06:43,793 --> 01:06:44,460
And you know what?
864
01:06:44,752 --> 01:06:45,919
You are loving it.
865
01:06:46,212 --> 01:06:47,254
You're just loving it.
866
01:06:47,547 --> 01:06:48,506
You're just loving it.
867
01:06:48,798 --> 01:06:51,091
And then I just tie you up more.
868
01:06:51,384 --> 01:06:53,803
And I roll you down
Avenue B. And I
869
01:06:54,095 --> 01:06:55,429
take that tongue of yours.
870
01:06:55,721 --> 01:06:57,222
[CHEERING]
871
01:06:57,515 --> 01:07:00,226
I take that tongue of
yours, and I drag it down B.
872
01:07:00,518 --> 01:07:02,853
And I let it pick up
the piss and shit at me.
873
01:07:03,145 --> 01:07:05,355
Oh, I let it piss
up all your piss.
874
01:07:05,648 --> 01:07:06,190
And piss it, baby.
875
01:07:06,482 --> 01:07:07,149
Piss it, baby.
876
01:07:07,441 --> 01:07:09,025
Oh, I'm letting you
piss in your pants.
877
01:07:09,318 --> 01:07:11,903
And I'll piss on you, you
warm little motherfucker.
878
01:07:12,196 --> 01:07:13,322
And you just look up to me.
879
01:07:13,614 --> 01:07:14,448
You just look up to me.
880
01:07:14,740 --> 01:07:17,576
And you just say, where's
the graffiti on this?
881
01:07:17,868 --> 01:07:19,995
And I say, boy,
it's up your ass.
882
01:07:20,288 --> 01:07:22,832
And you just say, that's
why I work 9:00 to 5:00,
883
01:07:23,124 --> 01:07:26,502
just so I can have a little bit
of this creative experience.
884
01:07:26,794 --> 01:07:28,629
Oh, I've got the revenge going.
885
01:07:28,921 --> 01:07:30,797
And then I just leave
you on the corner.
886
01:07:31,090 --> 01:07:34,635
And I steal your BMW because I
know nothing's going to happen.
887
01:07:34,927 --> 01:07:37,429
Oh, no, nothing's going
to happen with you, boy.
888
01:07:37,722 --> 01:07:39,348
Oh, and then I
just take your ass.
889
01:07:39,640 --> 01:07:42,476
And I stuff it with all
your passed out shirts.
890
01:07:42,768 --> 01:07:47,268
I stuff it with your sushi, your
novel cuisine, your walk band.
891
01:07:47,690 --> 01:07:49,983
Oh, and I go down
to Wall Street.
892
01:07:50,276 --> 01:07:52,111
Oh, I go into the
Stock Exchange.
893
01:07:52,403 --> 01:07:53,904
And I cut off your balls.
894
01:07:54,196 --> 01:07:55,739
You don't miss your balls.
895
01:07:56,032 --> 01:08:00,036
Oh, you got too busy fucking me
with everything else you got.
896
01:08:00,328 --> 01:08:04,123
Oh, you're too busy fucking me
with everything else you got.
897
01:08:04,415 --> 01:08:05,207
Oh, you don't bleed.
898
01:08:05,499 --> 01:08:07,626
Only dollar signs
come out of you.
899
01:08:07,918 --> 01:08:10,795
Ooh, oh, you're so greedy.
900
01:08:11,088 --> 01:08:13,840
You're so greedy, you don't
even give a nickel for that.
901
01:08:14,133 --> 01:08:15,509
Trump adores him.
902
01:08:15,801 --> 01:08:17,010
Oh, you don't know passion.
903
01:08:17,303 --> 01:08:18,053
You don't know need.
904
01:08:18,387 --> 01:08:20,013
You don't know peace.
905
01:08:20,306 --> 01:08:22,016
Oh, what the fuck is going on?
906
01:08:22,308 --> 01:08:22,850
What the fuck?
907
01:08:23,142 --> 01:08:25,519
What the fuck is the
fuck is going on?
908
01:08:25,811 --> 01:08:27,813
And then I take your balls.
909
01:08:28,147 --> 01:08:30,691
And I'll put them into a basket.
910
01:08:30,983 --> 01:08:34,319
Oh, they are small, little,
little, little balls.
911
01:08:34,612 --> 01:08:35,404
Oh, they are a little,
little little, scrotum.
912
01:08:35,988 --> 01:08:37,406
Oh, little testicles.
913
01:08:37,698 --> 01:08:39,950
And I boil them in my basket.
914
01:08:40,242 --> 01:08:43,453
I boil them on my stove
till they plump, plump up.
915
01:08:43,746 --> 01:08:48,208
Oh, I love to put those balls
in my mouth like some squirrel.
916
01:08:48,501 --> 01:08:52,838
[SLURPING] Oh, it
gets me so excited!
917
01:08:53,130 --> 01:08:55,465
And I take those balls.
918
01:08:55,758 --> 01:08:57,760
Oh, and I roll them
in my dung because I'm
919
01:08:58,052 --> 01:09:00,387
the misses of the dung dynasty.
920
01:09:00,680 --> 01:09:03,391
Oh, and then I take those balls
after they've been in dung.
921
01:09:03,683 --> 01:09:05,559
And I roll them
in some Hershey's.
922
01:09:05,851 --> 01:09:09,688
Oh, and then I roll him in
some fancy tinfoil paper.
923
01:09:09,980 --> 01:09:12,482
Oh, and then I go selling
for gourmet chocolate
924
01:09:12,775 --> 01:09:16,320
shops at Godiva and
stuff for $50 a pound.
925
01:09:16,612 --> 01:09:18,614
Oh, I love to do that.
926
01:09:18,906 --> 01:09:21,450
And I love to see your sons,
who are nine years old,
927
01:09:21,742 --> 01:09:25,328
who only talk through their
computers, who only know
928
01:09:25,621 --> 01:09:27,372
the things that are visible.
929
01:09:27,665 --> 01:09:30,292
Baby, I want to give you
something that's invisible,
930
01:09:30,584 --> 01:09:31,585
you motherfucker!
931
01:09:31,877 --> 01:09:35,005
I'm going to give you
some of that invisibility.
932
01:09:35,297 --> 01:09:37,882
Oh, and I see your
daddy's crunching on,
933
01:09:38,175 --> 01:09:39,885
eating their
chocolate testicles.
934
01:09:40,177 --> 01:09:42,220
Oh, I love that revenge.
935
01:09:42,513 --> 01:09:46,517
Oh, I love, I love, I
love, I love that revenge.
936
01:09:46,809 --> 01:09:50,020
Oh, Jesus, why don't you
appear to me now, Lord?
937
01:09:50,312 --> 01:09:52,814
Oh, why don't you
appear to me, Lord?
938
01:09:53,107 --> 01:09:55,943
Oh, whatever happened
to the Easter Bunny?
939
01:09:56,235 --> 01:09:58,737
Oh, whatever happened
to the tooth fairy?
940
01:09:59,029 --> 01:10:01,781
Oh, whatever happened to anyone?
941
01:10:02,074 --> 01:10:02,491
Dead girl?
942
01:10:02,783 --> 01:10:03,575
Ha-ha-ha.
943
01:10:03,868 --> 01:10:04,243
Dead girl.
944
01:10:04,535 --> 01:10:05,077
Ha-ha-ha.
945
01:10:05,369 --> 01:10:05,702
Dead girl.
946
01:10:05,995 --> 01:10:06,537
Ha-ha-ha.
947
01:10:06,829 --> 01:10:07,246
Dead girl.
948
01:10:07,538 --> 01:10:07,913
Ha-ha-ha.
949
01:10:08,205 --> 01:10:10,749
Ooh, I live in a dead-end world.
950
01:10:11,041 --> 01:10:12,917
I live a dead-end culture.
951
01:10:13,210 --> 01:10:14,794
Oh, I've got dead-end times.
952
01:10:15,087 --> 01:10:16,838
I've got a dead-end job.
953
01:10:17,131 --> 01:10:20,050
Oh, I've got a dead-end
future for my kids.
954
01:10:20,342 --> 01:10:22,761
I know, I know, I
know, I know it's
955
01:10:23,053 --> 01:10:25,555
a long, long dead-end road, huh?
956
01:10:25,848 --> 01:10:28,433
Oh, it's a long,
long dead-end road.
957
01:10:28,726 --> 01:10:31,770
Oh, it's a long, long
dead-end road, huh?
958
01:10:32,062 --> 01:10:33,897
It's a long, long dead-end road.
959
01:10:34,190 --> 01:10:35,316
Thank you.
960
01:10:35,608 --> 01:10:38,861
[CHEERING]
961
01:10:46,869 --> 01:10:48,203
[JOHN SEX, "HUSTLE WITH MY
MUSCLE"]
962
01:10:48,496 --> 01:10:50,831
Oh, I'm glad they sent you over.
963
01:10:52,875 --> 01:10:53,500
Oh, honey.
964
01:10:53,793 --> 01:10:55,836
You look as good as
a government check.
965
01:10:56,128 --> 01:10:59,714
I heard you, so pleasing/ And
baby, oh, I need pleasing.
966
01:11:00,007 --> 01:11:01,883
You a big fine, healthy man.
967
01:11:02,176 --> 01:11:03,218
Peel that banana.
968
01:11:04,720 --> 01:11:05,762
Get to work.
969
01:11:06,055 --> 01:11:07,890
I want to sit in that
saddle and-- oh--
970
01:11:08,182 --> 01:11:09,683
Go round and-- oh, shit--
971
01:11:09,975 --> 01:11:11,893
Round and let me
chuck it, I said.
972
01:11:12,186 --> 01:11:14,104
Let me get my dogs
on the head of that.
973
01:11:14,396 --> 01:11:16,606
This brown thing will
make me break myself.
974
01:11:16,899 --> 01:11:17,357
Oh.
975
01:11:17,650 --> 01:11:18,025
Oh!
976
01:11:18,317 --> 01:11:18,775
Oh.
977
01:11:19,068 --> 01:11:20,986
Now, I know why they
call you the ruler.
978
01:11:21,278 --> 01:11:21,820
Oh!
979
01:11:22,112 --> 01:11:22,779
Oh!
980
01:11:23,072 --> 01:11:25,324
Oh!
981
01:11:25,616 --> 01:11:29,036
(SINGING) Your heart beats
like a virgin tonight.
982
01:11:29,328 --> 01:11:31,997
You'll ride the pig
till the morning light.
983
01:11:32,289 --> 01:11:35,834
You're my bitch in the
kitchen, a whore in bed.
984
01:11:36,126 --> 01:11:39,420
Save your fine mouth when
you're giving me head.
985
01:11:39,713 --> 01:11:40,422
Ah.
986
01:11:40,714 --> 01:11:41,297
Ah.
987
01:11:41,590 --> 01:11:41,965
Ah.
988
01:11:42,258 --> 01:11:42,883
Ah.
989
01:11:43,175 --> 01:11:46,344
Ah, ah, ah, ah, whoa!
990
01:11:46,637 --> 01:11:48,013
Hustle with my muscle.
991
01:11:48,305 --> 01:11:49,472
Hustle with my muscle.
992
01:11:49,765 --> 01:11:53,310
Can you handle the
man below my belt?
993
01:11:53,602 --> 01:11:54,978
Hustle with my muscle.
994
01:11:55,271 --> 01:11:56,730
Hustle with my muscle.
995
01:11:57,022 --> 01:12:00,358
Girl, I got the most I
think you ever felt. Ha!
996
01:12:00,651 --> 01:12:02,027
Hustle with my muscle.
997
01:12:02,319 --> 01:12:03,570
Hustle with my muscle.
998
01:12:04,071 --> 01:12:05,614
Hustle with my muscle.
999
01:12:05,906 --> 01:12:07,115
Hustle with my muscle.
1000
01:12:20,379 --> 01:12:21,463
I've been with queens.
1001
01:12:21,755 --> 01:12:22,130
Uh-huh.
1002
01:12:22,423 --> 01:12:23,590
I've been with whores.
1003
01:12:24,675 --> 01:12:25,050
I bet.
1004
01:12:25,342 --> 01:12:27,927
I'll make you pussy
jump out your doors.
1005
01:12:28,220 --> 01:12:28,595
Oh, whoa!
1006
01:12:28,888 --> 01:12:31,473
Move your ass, girl, and
roll your big fat belly!
1007
01:12:31,765 --> 01:12:32,390
Shimmy!
1008
01:12:32,683 --> 01:12:34,643
I'll grab a box till
it's good and smelly.
1009
01:12:35,144 --> 01:12:35,477
Ah.
1010
01:12:35,769 --> 01:12:36,144
Ah.
1011
01:12:36,437 --> 01:12:36,770
Ah.
1012
01:12:37,146 --> 01:12:37,563
Ah.
1013
01:12:37,855 --> 01:12:38,230
Ah.
1014
01:12:38,606 --> 01:12:38,981
Ah.
1015
01:12:39,273 --> 01:12:39,690
Ah.
1016
01:12:39,982 --> 01:12:41,441
Ah, ah, ah, ah, whoa!
1017
01:12:41,984 --> 01:12:43,318
Do the hustle!
1018
01:12:43,611 --> 01:12:45,154
You ready for an instant replay?
1019
01:12:45,446 --> 01:12:45,821
Whoa!
1020
01:12:46,113 --> 01:12:47,531
Honey, you came to
the right place.
1021
01:12:47,823 --> 01:12:50,033
We're going to lick you in the
front and poke you in the back.
1022
01:12:50,326 --> 01:12:50,701
Oh!
1023
01:12:50,993 --> 01:12:54,037
I hope you brought your boots
and shoes because, baby, Oh!
1024
01:12:54,330 --> 01:12:55,581
You're going to be here a while.
1025
01:12:55,873 --> 01:12:56,456
Woo!
1026
01:12:56,749 --> 01:12:58,792
I ain't leaving this bed till
my Griffin stop gripping.
1027
01:12:59,084 --> 01:13:01,044
And my dogs and puppet
stopped waiting.
1028
01:13:01,337 --> 01:13:01,712
Woo!
1029
01:13:02,004 --> 01:13:04,089
Let my puppies bare it.
1030
01:13:04,381 --> 01:13:07,342
You long, weeny, kitty,
scraping, super stud sex crate.
1031
01:13:07,760 --> 01:13:08,177
Oh!
1032
01:13:08,510 --> 01:13:08,927
Get it!
1033
01:13:09,219 --> 01:13:09,552
Get it!
1034
01:13:09,845 --> 01:13:10,470
Get it!
1035
01:13:10,763 --> 01:13:14,016
[HARMONIZING] Mondo, New York.
1036
01:13:14,308 --> 01:13:17,269
[HARMONIZING] Mondo, New York.
1037
01:13:17,561 --> 01:13:17,936
Yeah.
1038
01:13:18,228 --> 01:13:19,854
(SINGING) Every
night is Halloween.
1039
01:13:20,147 --> 01:13:24,025
And every day is a April Fool,
where the darkness never ends.
1040
01:13:24,318 --> 01:13:26,695
And there cannot be any rules.
1041
01:13:27,571 --> 01:13:31,283
[HARMONIZING] Mondo, New York.
1042
01:13:31,575 --> 01:13:35,036
[HARMONIZING] Mondo, New York.
1043
01:13:35,329 --> 01:13:35,746
Yeah.
1044
01:13:36,038 --> 01:13:37,622
(SINGING) Every
night is Halloween.
1045
01:13:37,915 --> 01:13:41,835
And every day is April Fool,
where the darkness never ends.
1046
01:13:42,127 --> 01:13:43,753
And there cannot be any rules.
1047
01:13:44,046 --> 01:13:44,463
In--
1048
01:13:44,755 --> 01:13:47,966
[HARMONIZING] Mondo, New York.
1049
01:13:48,258 --> 01:13:49,175
Wow.
1050
01:13:49,468 --> 01:13:52,179
[HARMONIZING]
1051
01:13:52,471 --> 01:13:55,765
[CHATTER]
1052
01:14:01,939 --> 01:14:06,439
In this town, you can get
it faster and more of it.
1053
01:14:08,612 --> 01:14:12,824
I mean, I've been working ever
since the first day I arrived.
1054
01:14:14,326 --> 01:14:15,952
But I'm going to quit soon.
1055
01:14:16,245 --> 01:14:19,081
I got big plans, baby--
1056
01:14:19,373 --> 01:14:20,916
Big plans.
1057
01:14:22,001 --> 01:14:23,794
[FOOTSTEPS]
1058
01:14:24,086 --> 01:14:25,587
I love New York because
there's money here.
1059
01:14:25,879 --> 01:14:26,254
Yeah, you bet.
1060
01:14:26,547 --> 01:14:27,256
Anything can happen
here in New York.
1061
01:14:27,548 --> 01:14:28,006
Right.
1062
01:14:28,340 --> 01:14:28,757
[CHUCKLES]
1063
01:14:29,049 --> 01:14:32,052
[FOOTSTEPS]
1064
01:14:34,513 --> 01:14:38,225
I love New York because
it's alive 24 hours.
1065
01:14:38,726 --> 01:14:41,854
I meet people from all
over the world here.
1066
01:14:42,146 --> 01:14:43,981
And it doesn't matter
whether you're rich or poor.
1067
01:14:44,273 --> 01:14:47,484
There's always somebody
willing to help you.
1068
01:14:47,776 --> 01:14:51,029
[MANITOBA'S WILD KINGDOM, "NEW
YORK, NEW YORK"]
1069
01:15:09,339 --> 01:15:13,839
Smoking marijuana,
watching Channel 5,
1070
01:15:14,887 --> 01:15:19,387
got to get my strength up
in this struggle to survive.
1071
01:15:20,225 --> 01:15:22,894
Everyone's an asshole.
1072
01:15:23,520 --> 01:15:26,022
Everyone's a creep.
1073
01:15:26,315 --> 01:15:30,815
I look out my window, there's
garbage in the streets.
1074
01:15:31,820 --> 01:15:33,321
I live in the city.
1075
01:15:33,697 --> 01:15:36,366
I breathe dirty air.
1076
01:15:36,658 --> 01:15:41,158
I ride trains with negroes,
junkies, fags, and squares.
1077
01:15:42,164 --> 01:15:43,373
New York, New York.
1078
01:15:43,665 --> 01:15:44,374
[CHEERING]
1079
01:15:44,666 --> 01:15:46,834
New York, New York.
1080
01:15:47,127 --> 01:15:49,838
New York, New York.
1081
01:15:50,130 --> 01:15:51,422
New York, New York.
1082
01:15:53,092 --> 01:15:56,470
[DEAN AND THE WEENIES, "FUCK
YOU"]
1083
01:16:30,170 --> 01:16:32,839
Why are you staring at me?
1084
01:16:33,132 --> 01:16:36,844
When I look back at you,
I don't like what I see.
1085
01:16:37,845 --> 01:16:40,097
Your lack of character shows.
1086
01:16:40,389 --> 01:16:41,640
I hate your clothes.
1087
01:16:41,932 --> 01:16:45,435
And you got something disgusting
hanging out of your nose.
1088
01:17:03,120 --> 01:17:05,914
Why are you talking to me?
1089
01:17:06,206 --> 01:17:08,750
Please leave immediately.
1090
01:17:09,042 --> 01:17:10,752
Where is your dignity?
1091
01:17:11,170 --> 01:17:12,963
Please get away from me.
1092
01:17:13,255 --> 01:17:16,299
Why don't you choke on
a fashion accessory?
1093
01:17:31,899 --> 01:17:34,026
I cannot remember your name.
1094
01:17:34,318 --> 01:17:36,069
And I could not care less.
1095
01:17:36,403 --> 01:17:40,156
I could have more fun
talking to the IRS.
1096
01:17:40,449 --> 01:17:44,244
Why don't you take your
problems to analysis?
1097
01:17:44,620 --> 01:17:48,749
Take your foot out of your
mouth and suck on this.
1098
01:17:49,041 --> 01:17:50,000
Fuck you!
1099
01:18:01,887 --> 01:18:03,346
Everybody now--
1100
01:18:03,639 --> 01:18:04,056
Fuck--
1101
01:18:04,348 --> 01:18:07,017
--the telephone company.
1102
01:18:07,351 --> 01:18:07,893
Fuck--
1103
01:18:08,185 --> 01:18:10,145
--national security.
1104
01:18:10,520 --> 01:18:11,437
Fuck--
1105
01:18:11,730 --> 01:18:13,940
--the prime interest rate.
1106
01:18:14,233 --> 01:18:15,275
Fuck--
1107
01:18:15,609 --> 01:18:18,069
--the Secretary of State.
1108
01:18:18,362 --> 01:18:18,904
Fuck--
1109
01:18:19,196 --> 01:18:21,781
--Union Carbide.
1110
01:18:22,074 --> 01:18:22,741
Fuck--
1111
01:18:23,075 --> 01:18:25,577
--Third World genocide.
1112
01:18:25,994 --> 01:18:26,619
Fuck--
1113
01:18:26,912 --> 01:18:29,247
--thermonuclear war.
1114
01:18:29,539 --> 01:18:30,081
Fuck--
1115
01:18:30,374 --> 01:18:34,874
--Mary Tyler Moore!
1116
01:18:35,295 --> 01:18:37,547
Fuck you.
1117
01:18:47,182 --> 01:18:51,102
So go tell it to the judge
because I don't care.
1118
01:18:51,395 --> 01:18:55,895
You'd look cooler if you
were Frigidaire, got lost,
1119
01:18:56,400 --> 01:18:59,069
eat shit, drop dead, go screw.
1120
01:18:59,361 --> 01:19:00,945
We're in big trouble, baby.
1121
01:19:01,238 --> 01:19:05,116
And the trouble is you.
1122
01:19:05,409 --> 01:19:07,494
Fuck you!
1123
01:19:17,462 --> 01:19:17,879
Oh!
1124
01:19:39,526 --> 01:19:41,236
This is art, buddy.
1125
01:19:41,528 --> 01:19:44,697
["MONDO THEME II" PLAYING]
77887
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