Original subtitles

CHEEKY!

Moira.

- Are you Italian? - Venetian, how did you know?

I was married to an Italian and you speak English like him.

Are you looking for a house?

More than anything a little apartment, inexpensive though.

I need it for four weeks.

In what area?

Close to the Hyatt Park Hotel if possible.

I work there. I'm doing an internship as a receptionist

and right now I'm living in a very small room.

And it doesnʼt work for you.

Yes, itʼs fine, but in 1 0 days

my boyfriend will be coming for a full immersion course in English and. . .

Fiancé?

A little bit. . .

I understand. . .

Basically you are looking for a room

for a sexual full immersion course. . .

I wish. . .

I believe I might be able to help you. . .

Not in the area that you want though. . .

- Ah, no? - No.

Where then?

Follow me, Iʼll show you.

We are in Chelsea and your hotel is here, in Nates Bridge.

I have a loft on the Thames, right where the docs are.

Itʼs not too far from the Hyatt Park Hotel.

With the metro you can get there very quickly.

Where is it exactly. . .

- Oh? - Here. . .

What happened? Did you get an electric shock?

No, my nipples are rather sensitive. . .

He is a lucky man. Whatʼs his name?

Who?

The boy that is going to meet you in London.

- Matteo. - Itʼs too bad heʼs coming. . .

You could have stayed at my place for free.

Since I got separated, there's much more space there.

Can we go and check it out?

Yes, but not today, Iʼm the only one at the agency.

How much is it?

It depends on you. . .

Does he kiss them well at least?

Heʼs not bad at all.

Men donʼt know anything about what women like.

Oh, but Matteo, really. . .

Bullshit, they're all the same

and they only think of what makes them happy.

No Moira, please. . .

Why not, I know you like it. . .

Tell the truth you little piglet,

in Venice also, you walk around without your panties?

Oh, I am a little allergic. . .

You are humid like your city. . .

Ah.

Stop it Moira, please.

I donʼt want to. . .

Liar.

So, Iʼll see you tomorrow to go see the loft?

All right, at what time?

At 1 0 oʼclock here. . .

By the way, what is your name?

Carla Borin.

Carla, nice name. . .

Carla the Venetian.

Thank you.

See you tomorrow.

These designers are so boring. . .

You know what I think when I see all these curves?

You donʼt have to tell me.

A nice fuck, thatʼs what we need

to feel relaxed before the exam.

You can always masturbate. . .

Already done, my friend, already done,

thinking of that slut, Giulia. . .

I get a hard on right away.

- Giulia who? Paoloʼs girlfriend? - Paoloʼs girlfriend officially,

but in practice, everybodyʼs girlfriend.

I donʼt believe it, does Paolo know?

He is the only one who doesnʼt know,

or at least thatʼs what he makes you believe. Tell the truth Matteo,

- you've thought about Giulia, too. - Thatʼs bullshit, I only think of Carla.

Even when you masturbate?

Especially when I masturbate.

Really? And what do you think about?

Regular stuff. . . Naked.

I am on bottom and she's on top.

Shit, you really donʼt have any imagination.

I thought you were at least imagining her doggie style

with an English guy.

Why should I think of her with some other guy?

Well, when there is no sex for a while. . .

How long has it been since Carla is in London?

About a. . . month.

And you think that someone can go one month without fucking?

You're obsessed with sex.

Itʼs not like that for women, you know?

Feelings come first for them.

Bullshit, they are just better liars,

and they know how to fake it better.

They too get wet first and then they fall in love.

Stop it, come on.

- Not all of them, come on. - All of them.

All of them.

Thatʼs why I like them so much,

because they are all whores.

- Hello? - Hi, my love, itʼs me.

Carla.

Are you happy to hear from me?

Yes, of course, very happy.

Why are you calling?

Oh well, because I miss you, whatʼs going on?

- You sound weird. . . - No, no, I just wasnʼt expecting this call.

How is London?

Oh itʼs beautiful, you should see. . . Ah.

Whatʼs going on?

Nothing. I'm staying in shape for you.

I am doing the bike exercises. . .

Oh Matteo, I canʼt wait for you to come here.

I'll be there soon. Did you find the apartment?

Thatʼs why I'm calling.

Tomorrow I am going to see one on the Thames.

On the Thames? It must be expensive.

Well, Moira is going to give me a pretty good deal. . . Ah.

Who is Moira?

The owner of the real estate agency. . .

I think she really likes me.

What do you mean, she really likes you?

Well, I think she is a lesbian, and she wants to sleep with me.

She wants to sleep with you? Are you crazy Carla?

No, Iʼm just lusting. . .

- Matteo, can you hear me? - Yes I can hear you.

Did she try already?

No, no, but come here soon,

Iʼm tired of being alone.

Swear to me that nothing happened.

Oh Matteo, you are boring.

You know that without you sex doesnʼt exist for me.

So why do you think that she wants to sleep with you?

Well, you know how it goes.

Some things can be understood between women. . .

Are you telling me the truth, Carla?

Of course, silly. . .

Listen, do me a favor:

Before you leave, go to my place

and ask my mom to give you my panties, the ones with the butterfly,

and the book on dream interpretation.

Although the interpretation of every dream is always coitus,

I miss that book.

Do you miss me?

Well you can always be replaced. . .

Maybe with Moira.

Tell me the truth, Carla. Did you two already do something?

The phone card is almost empty, come Matteo.

Please, come soon.

I need you. Oh. . .

Speak of the devil. . .

Screw you.

Do you know that statistically speaking, 98% of women

cheat while they're on vacation?

Carla is not in vacation.

Is it here?

No, we can only get up to here by taxi,

but the entrance is on Riverside walk.

Wow, itʼs so beautiful.

I'm glad you like it.

The bathroom is over there.

I am sure Matteo will like it.

Itʼs probably very expensive, though. . .

Matteo?

Oh, yes, your boyfriend. . .

Well donʼt worry about the price,

I am sure we can find an agreement. . .

Iʼll take it then.

I dreamt of you last night. . .

Oh really?

You were naked.

Really? And what was I doing naked?

You were riding a wave and sweating. . .

Freud will definitely say: coitus.

I like you Carla.

Oh, what are you doing?

- I want you. - No Moira, please. Oh.

Why not, I know you like it.

- Donʼt resist me Carla, donʼt fight it. - Oh.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

Oh. Make me come.

Oh. Make me come, Moira, please.

Make me come.

Who is it?

Good Morning, Mr. Borin,

itʼs me, Matteo.

I'm sorry to bug you.

I came to pick up Carlaʼs stuff.

I'm going to London next week,

- and this way I can bring it to her. - What stuff?

Well, she told me she explained it to her mom.

My wife is not here right now. Do you know what it is about?

Well, yes, more or less. . .

A pair of panties and a book.

Wait a second. I am going to see if my wife prepared them for you.

"The more I wank it, the less I come."

"I love you, Ale."

"Big slut Nina.ʼʼ

‘‘The thought of you cheating on me,

makes me crazy jealous. . .

And jealousy. . . makes me a lust maniac.ʼʼ

I could go nuts thinking about you cheating on me.

Impossible, because you'll never know.

Donʼt joke Carla, I feel like dying just thinking of you with someone else.

- Thinking of me how? - Like this?

Like this, like this.

Youʼll never know it, never.

Never.

Oh, Oh. . .

Are these the ones?

I donʼt know, there should be a butterfly. . .

No butterflies here.

Come up and look for it, come on.

You could've called before coming.

I'm sorry. I thought everything would be ready.

Eh, ready my ass.

You look for it.

Thank you. Itʼll take me a second.

If you need anything I am in the other room.

Here they are, the book and the panties.

‘‘My dear Charlotte,

it is impossible for me to live without you. . .

I think about you all the time. . .

I love you, my love?

I love you, Bernardʼʼ.

You whore.

Did you tell Matteo about the loft?

Of course.

I called him telling him

that I was going to check it out.

And did you talk to him after you saw it?

Not yet.

But I'll tell him that I rented it.

And thatʼs all?

What else there is to say?

You can tell him about me, for example.

Yes sure, Iʼll tell him that you took me there.

Come here, come on, itʼs great.

Moira. . .

Moira, where are you going?

Moira.

So many questions. . .

Get out of the water and follow me.

I love you Carla. Come live with me.

Come on, Moira. What are you saying?

You know that Matteo will be here soon. . .

So what? I am not jealous.

Matteo is jealous.

Forget him.

Oh, hey, are you crazy?.

I like men.

What do you think?

I am not a. . .

Lesbian?

Yes, lesbian. Like you.

Ah, you hurt me.

I donʼt like it when you are violent.

Iʼm sorry, Iʼm sorry, Iʼm very sorry, I didnʼt mean to. . .

Oh Carla.

Letʼs go, come on. Letʼs go get a massage.

You go.

Go. There's a masseur. . .

I am here for the pictures. Carla Burin.

You should choose the ones to print.

Not all of them are good.

Come over here.

Put the negatives there.

I still can't make anything out.

Here.

What do you think?

You see that not all of them are good?

In your opinion,

which ones should I discard?

The unfocused ones and the blurry ones.

You choose them.

Iʼll come back tomorrow to pick them up.

- Hello? - Hi my love,

- I have some great news. - Who is it?

Just go mom, go.

You're being very mean to your own mother.

Hello? Matteo, can you hear me?

Yes I can hear you.

Guess where I am?

In bed with the real estate agent?

Silly. I am at the loft, itʼs gorgeous.

She was in love with you then?

I am afraid she was. . .

Do you have a pen?

- Why do I need a pen? - To write down the address.

I donʼt know if I am coming.

What do you mean?

I might not be able to make it.

What are you talking about, are you crazy?

- No, I just need to prepare for an exam. - Well, canʼt you just prepare for it here?

No, I canʼt.

Why not?

The loft is really quite nice,

you can study as much as you want.

And then I will be here.

- Exactly. - Exactly?

Nothing. I was just saying. . .

I donʼt understand, donʼt you feel like spending time with me?

Imagine what we can do after not seeing each other for three weeks.

Donʼt insist Carla, I told you that I canʼt, and thatʼs the end of it.

I donʼt believe you, you're joking,

you're doing it to upset me. Come on, write down the address.

- I told you that I'm not going to come. - Write it down anyway.

Oh, Carla, you are so annoying, tell me.

53 Dock Street, North East 1 5.

Phone number: 0044 64567876. . .

- Did you write it down? - Yes.

I wrote it down, yes, but itʼs useless.

Why are you acting like this, Matteo? What happened?

What happened is that I've had enough.

Are you tired of me? Donʼt be like that, please.

Are you worried about the exam?

You worry me. Why donʼt you understand?

What should I understand, Matteo? Please, tell me you are coming--

Iʼve already told you no. Bye.

You asshole, these were for you.

You bastard, fuck you.

I hate you. I hate you.

- My love. - You missed me then.

Oh, itʼs you. . .

Why, who were you expecting it to be?

Nobody.

- How's it going? - Everything's fine.

- You donʼt sound very happy. - No, no, itʼs just. . .

With all this space around me, I feel a little lonely. . .

Thatʼs what I thought. Thatʼs why I am calling you.

- Do you feel like going to a party? - A party?

A party at my place.

Well, I donʼt know. . . when?

Tonight. There'll be a lot of people, also a bunch of Italians.

Well?

All right. . .

Why not?

Where do I need to go?

69 Harold St., WE7.

Okay, I just need to put something on and Iʼll be there.

Donʼt put too much on. . . you know. . .

- See you later. - See you soon, ciao.

Asshole.

Oh, you're here, too.

Of course, I wasnʼt going to miss Parideʼs contest.

Who knows who's going to win this year. . .

It depends on what Paride thinks.

Oh then itʼs fine, sheʼs got good taste.

If they had an award for usury, you would win for sure.

The face can be deceiving but not the ass.

Donʼt you know that it's the mirror of the soul?

Why is it laughing?

Who?

That ass, it has dimples on the cheeks.

I think itʼs making fun of us. . .

It deserves a lesson.

Yes, yes, it needs to be punished.

Ouch, you idiot.

Your ass is sad because of all the dicks that have screwed it.

How fun. I might go compete myself.

No, it wouldnʼt be fair, darling.

With your ass, you'd win for sure.

Cheers.

Can I ask you to introduce your friend?

Of course, my dear: Carla, a client of mine.

Mario, my asshole of an ex-husband.

She talks like that because she's still in love with me.

Are you Italian, too?

- Yes, from Venice. - Ah nice, very nice.

I adore Venice, especially Venetian women.

Careful Carla, donʼt get caught up in it.

Mario enchants women like snakes do to the frogs.

What are you saying Moira, as if I were a playboy.

Worse darling, worse, you are only a Latin lover.

Donʼt listen to her. Do you want to dance?

Sure.

I'd bite it.

Every year, there's someone that tries to be smart.

With Moira around. . .

Iʼve always asked myself. . .

Who's designing Regginiʼs hats?

Some dickhead, I'm sure.

The scent of Venice.

I like women that get wet right away.

Itʼs just the champagne trying to come out. . .

Where is the restroom?

Over there, in the back.

Carla. . .

Is it true that in England, they donʼt kiss women down here?

They do something else to compensate.

What?

- They do it from this side. - No, what are you doing?

Like the satyrs do it...

in the streets of Gomorrah

or the sacred alleys of Sodom.

Carla, are you there?

Open Carla, I know you are there.

One second.

Great choice, my dear.

A true treat.

I invited you because I am in love with you.

Not to be that asshole of my ex-husbandʼs whore.

I donʼt give a fuck.

How do I have to tell you that I donʼt give a fuck about you.

I like men. . . Do you understand it, yes or no?

Men, not women, men. . .

I like cock.

Calm down, Carla.

Whatʼs going on?

Is there something wrong?

You can tell me everything, I am your friend.

I didnʼt want to offend you.

Itʼs not your fault.

Itʼs Matteoʼs fault.

I donʼt understand anything anymore.

I was so excited to call him and tell him about the loft,

and that idiot told me that he wasnʼt coming to London anymore.

He was cold, mean, hateful.

He even hung up the phone on me.

Donʼt cry, darling.

I told you, men are all big assholes.

Matteo wasnʼt like that before.

Everything was fine between us.

Here, as a pledge of love.

Itʼll bring you luck.

I donʼt understand.

Something must have happened.

No, but I, on the other hand, do understand very well.

And I know what you're going through. Iʼve been there too.

Never trust men.

They're moody, unreliable. . .

listen to me, my darling, forget about Matteo.

Tell him to go fuck off, like I did with Mario.

Come on, letʼs go.

Letʼs go.

You see, Carla? We donʼt need men.

We can do it ourselves.

Famous architects, sculptors, and writers from all over the world

were drawn to Dogeʼs Court because of its charm.

Thus, the profits that came from the market of silk and spices

were invested to embellish the city with a splendor

that, as intended by the Great Counsel of Ten,

had to reflect the immense wealth gained from the commercial traffic.

In fact, the goal of the Venetian Government

wasnʼt so much the conquest of territory,

but rather the construction of solid outposts

in commercial harbors of the Balkan area,

from which they could more easily penetrate

the rich silk and spice markets of the East.

We can then affirm with documented certainty

that the Venetian Republic's penetration

of the Mediterranean markets. . .

What do you think: Does the word "penetration" derive from "penis"?

. . . atypical in respect to. . .

I think it comes from "dick," our professorʼs dick.

Look at that ass.

. . . also to the political and cultural affirmation of Venice,

we can accurately say

that the mercantile penetration of Venice

was the base of its own artistic splendor.

Behind the Aretino, for example. . .

Whore.

Asshole.

Matteo.

Surprise.

What about your exam?

I postponed it till September.

Do you always open the door dressed like that?

Did you come here to fight?

You donʼt seem all that happy to see me. . .

Of course, I am very happy.

The only thing is that I wasnʼt expecting you any more.

Well, since I came over here, can you let me in?

Instead of keeping me here at the doorway?

Iʼm sorry, of course, come in, come in.

Who is it at this hour?

Matteo, this is Moira.

The real estate agent.

Sorry, I am late to the office.

Come here and see what a beautiful view we have.

Look at the panorama.

Very nice.

It must be very expensive.

Moira gave me a special deal. . .

Of course, I can imagine. . .

Itʼs not the way you think.

Nothing happened between me and Moira.

What is she doing here then?

She gave me a ride last night with her car,

we went to the theater together,

and since it was late, she stayed here for the night.

Naked. . .

and in bed with you?

Then, bye, Carla.

Bye Matteo, nice to meet you.

Carla told me a lot about you.

She told me about you, too.

Did you bring me the dream interpretation book

and the panties with the butterfly?

I brought you these. . .

What does that have to do with us now?

It has a lot to do with us. A whole lot.

This is your ass, am I right?

What the fuck were you doing all naked at the beach?

Who gave you these? How did you get them?

Donʼt you worry how I got them. You just tell me:

what happened between you and that fag of French guy

that was writing to you, ‘‘Je tʼaime, mon amour. . .

Je tʼaime. . . ʼʼ

It was a long time ago, old news.

Old, my ass.

If you want to be with me,

you have to be sincere and tell me everything.

- There is nothing to say. - Nothing, huh?

Is it normal for you to have people taking pictures of your naked ass?

Itʼs not like you think.

We went visiting the structures of the beach hotels built for tourists.

It was a trip organized by the school.

You know how those trips go.

On the train, in the kitchens,

in the tents, we were joking, we were posing.

They were taking pictures of us.

We were just doing it for fun.

After lunch, we all went to different places. . .

I found myself with Bernard at the beach.

It was September, it was still pretty hot, and nobody was around. . .

We got naked and we went in the ocean. . .

- Naked? - Of course.

Itʼs not like we had bathing suits.

Keep going, donʼt digress.

There was a strange warmth in the air,

the ocean was calm, the sun was setting,

and the water was very calm and inviting. . .

Then what?

Then thatʼs it. We got dressed.

Do you think I am an idiot?

Iʼm serious, nothing else happened.

It was just an innocent game.

When did that happen?

I told you, last year, towards the end of September.

You were already with me then?

Well. . .

Yes, I think so, our story just started.

Tell me the truth. You made love to him.

No, Matteo, I swear.

Donʼt swear.

Well, not really. . .

- A little bit. . . - What do you mean a little bit?

Well we flirted a little bit, he was aroused and he kissed me.

Where? On your ass?

Tell me at least how long your innocent flirt lasted?

A couple of months.

During Christmas Bernard left the school and he went back to France.

Did you guys see each other again?

No, never, I swear.

I told you not to swear.

Did you write to each other?

For a little bit. . . Those letters that you have.

- He wanted me to join him in Paris. - And why didnʼt you go?

Because I fell in love with you. I didnʼt care about him anymore.

Please Matteo, please.

- Quit torturing me. - Quit my ass!

How could you do this to me?

While you were having a relationship with me, eh?

I told you, it was at the beginning, I didnʼt know I was in love with you yet.

The one with you, for me was a story like the others.

I beg you Matteo. . .

Oh Matteo, letʼs make love. . .

I want to feel you inside of me.

All what happened doesnʼt count at all.

What counts is that I love you and that I want you.

No, no, you are just a whore.

How did you do it with Bernard eh?

What did you do with that bastard?

Enough. Enough. Itʼs useless.

Your blowjobs donʼt arouse me any more.

And I would be the liar, huh?

Uh, oh.

I want to know how many times you cheated on me.

Itʼs your last chance. To be honest with me,

and to forget the belief that I have, that our story is all a lie.

How did the plot with Bernard start?

If you donʼt feel like telling it to my face,

write it at least, in one nice letter full of details.

Like the ones that your Bernard was writing to you.

And donʼt worry about offending me.

Your pretence and your silence are much more offensive.

Matteo, my love, you should know that there is no betrayal

if there is no illusion of closeness due to the own presumption

or deceit from others.

But if you absolutely need to know, donʼt be afraid, Iʼll tell you everything.

Do you remember that time when we went to the Olympiaʼs theater to see ‘The Keyʼ?

It was the end of October and with us there was also Luca and Bernard.

Itʼs nice though. The husband is right to say,

‘‘Under your false discretion, you are the biggest whore of all the whores

that I met in my youthʼʼ.

Well, I still donʼt understand whereʼs the fun part in being cheated on. . .

Oui mon cher, if there is no cheating, there is no jealousy,

if there is no jealousy, there is no desire, if there is no desire there is no sex.

- Nʼest-ce pas, Carla? - It makes complete sense.

Dear Matteo, you need to take cheating as a gift of love.

Itʼs the magic potion that wakes up whoʼs been sleeping for too long.

Give me a break.

How can someone get aroused thinking of his woman with someone else.

But. . . where is Carla?

Carla.

You, go over there, we'll go this way.

I was wet; watching that movie made me horny.

- Carla. - Come on Carla, itʼs getting old.

Carlina, come on sweetheart, where are you?

Stop, Carla, come on. Whatʼs the fun part in this whole thing?

BIG SLUT NINA

Hi Nina. Are you still awake?

Iʼm ironing, I canʼt fall asleep.

You tell me.

- Your husband? - He is working on the ship.

Heʼs got the night shift.

- Iʼm sure itʼs hot over there. - Also here.

I am all wet.

- Feel, feel this. - Yes, yes.

Very wet.

Oh Matteo.

My vagina is burning.

Feel it. Feel it.

Nina. Someoneʼs here.

Shut up, stupid, and fuck me.

Itʼs my husband. He likes to watch.

‘‘The thought of you cheating on me, makes me crazy jealous. . .

And Jealousy. . . makes me a lust maniacʼʼ.

Yes, my love, I'll come right away.

You were right, what happened in the past doesnʼt count at all.

What counts is that I am crazy about you.

Oh Matteo, I am crazy about you too.

Look. I did what you wanted.

I donʼt need it anymore.

My love. . .

At the end I prefer the doubt than the truth.

Your lies reveal your desires more than any other confession.

Carla, swear that you will always lie to me.

Yes, of course. As you wish.

Even if I really donʼt understand why. . .

Before, if I was lying to you it was because I didnʼt want to lose you.

But why should I do it now?

Because if suspicion makes me a jealous maniac,

jealousy makes me crazy with desire for you.

Oh Matteo. I love you.

Oh, my love.

I swear I will always lie to you.

What a whore.