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1
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:48,880
Gosh. It kinda gets ya, doesn't it?
2
00:00:48,966 --> 00:00:50,296
Yeah.
3
00:02:20,558 --> 00:02:23,203
Well, we'd better hurry. We don't
wanna be late for our appointment.
4
00:02:23,227 --> 00:02:24,517
Hope they're expecting us.
5
00:02:24,562 --> 00:02:26,232
Oh, they are... This time.
6
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,030
All right, gentlemen,
we've all had our say,
7
00:02:39,076 --> 00:02:41,866
and we all agree on this one vital point,
8
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:44,622
we are clamping a tight security lid
9
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:47,962
on Professor Brainard's
tremendous contribution.
10
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:51,053
- There's just one little thought, sir.
- It's not that we're edgy,
11
00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:54,428
but we've all been through
the missile lag and the space gap.
12
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:58,182
We just don't want
a "Flubber foul-up" on our hands.
13
00:02:58,262 --> 00:02:59,762
The country's needs come first, sir,
14
00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:02,729
but if I could have just
a little money right now...
15
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,386
Oh, you'll be recompensed.
16
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:07,938
Goodness knows, the Armed Services
are never chintzy.
17
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:12,440
Now what we do, we beard
the appropriations boys in Congress.
18
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:15,922
Matter of fact, I'm putting two of my
bravest financial officers on the mission.
19
00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:17,866
You understand, sir,
the money isn't for me.
20
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:19,905
Our college is in financial trouble, and...
21
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:22,164
And you're turning
everything over to them.
22
00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:25,123
Professor, you are a fine, unselfish man.
23
00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:27,037
It's a privilege to know you.
24
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:30,998
But just relax. No sweat.
The money is as good as in your hands.
25
00:03:31,212 --> 00:03:34,922
Rendezvous, 14:00 hours,
at Area 12, sir. The car is waiting.
26
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:38,014
Gentlemen, we've had
a change of signals.
27
00:03:38,594 --> 00:03:42,064
Schedule four is going in.
Time and area as briefed.
28
00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:46,271
Well, Professor, I don't think we need
to take up any more of your time.
29
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:50,190
We'll explore the entire situation,
pro and con,
30
00:03:50,356 --> 00:03:54,066
set a figure and then lay out
our grand strategy.
31
00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:57,911
And then, one fine morning,
we'll hit the beach on Capitol Hill.
32
00:03:57,988 --> 00:04:00,278
Those money watchers'll
go down like nine pins.
33
00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,491
But isn't that all going to take time?
34
00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:07,578
Certainly. We have
to stockpile statistics, build up pressure,
35
00:04:07,665 --> 00:04:10,665
deploy our firepower
so we hit them from all directions.
36
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,421
After all, we don't fight Congress
with cap pistols, do we?
37
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:14,875
Well, no, I don't suppose we do.
38
00:04:14,964 --> 00:04:16,804
Don't let
those double-breasted suits fool you.
39
00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:18,296
Those boys are tough.
40
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:20,835
Well, the thing is,
we don't need all the money now.
41
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:24,641
Professor, I don't think you realize how
important this discovery of yours is.
42
00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,939
It's big. We've gotta handle it big.
Everything about it.
43
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:31,265
If you settle for chicken feed now,
it's going to be a chicken-feed operation.
44
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,690
Everyone is going to lose face.
45
00:04:33,857 --> 00:04:37,777
Everything is going to fall apart
all the way down the line,
46
00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:40,991
and the free world loses another battle.
Is that what you want?
47
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,030
No, I wouldn't want that, sir.
48
00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:47,075
Remember, you're in Washington. Stop
trying to be reasonable about money
49
00:04:47,413 --> 00:04:49,583
or you're going to bollix up
the whole thing.
50
00:04:49,665 --> 00:04:51,325
- Well, I wouldn't wanna do that.
- Good.
51
00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:55,047
Gentlemen, it is now 13:40 hours.
Let's move out.
52
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,608
You'd think those people
at the Pentagon
53
00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:16,779
could at least have given us a couple
of $100,000 out of petty cash.
54
00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:18,899
What's gonna happen, Professor?
55
00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:21,074
Everybody expects us
to come home loaded with loot.
56
00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:22,195
Yeah.
57
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:24,409
- Ducks at 12:00, sir.
- Oh, roger.
58
00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:33,582
I can just see Alonzo Hawk licking
his chops right now.
59
00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:36,839
He's been dying for a chance to move in
and tear the school down.
60
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:39,459
I'm sorry, Biff.
Sometimes I forget he's your father.
61
00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:41,472
Oh, that's okay. I gotta face it.
62
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,320
Pop's the biggest loan shark in the state,
and he's proud of it.
63
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:47,768
Let's just say your father is
a very shrewd businessman.
64
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,595
Shrewd?
65
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:52,601
The only time my pop ever got the worst
of a bargain was when he got me.
66
00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:55,605
I just didn't turn out the way
he wanted me to at all.
67
00:05:55,773 --> 00:05:57,751
I don't know what we're gonna tell
the Board of Regents
68
00:05:57,775 --> 00:05:58,895
and President Daggett.
69
00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,780
This is going to break his heart.
70
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:20,420
Our new hall of science.
Isn't it magnificent, gentlemen?
71
00:06:20,464 --> 00:06:22,884
And all this is possible
thanks to Professor Brainard.
72
00:06:23,342 --> 00:06:26,552
Medfield College has,
I believe the saying goes,
73
00:06:26,637 --> 00:06:28,757
finally come into the chips.
74
00:06:29,598 --> 00:06:31,638
Why don't you just change
the name of the place
75
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,328
to Brainard College
and have done with it?
76
00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:35,562
A splendid idea, Mr. Hawk,
77
00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:38,316
though I realize it was
offered in a spirit of irony.
78
00:06:38,357 --> 00:06:40,567
I discussed the matter
with Professor Brainard.
79
00:06:40,651 --> 00:06:43,111
With characteristic modesty,
he wouldn't hear of it.
80
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:46,953
However, he did consent to let us call
our new science building Flubber Hall.
81
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:49,874
Now, to implement
our physical acquisitions,
82
00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:52,575
we must search
for gifted young instructors.
83
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:55,668
You mean more Ned Brainards?
84
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:59,339
We'll be up to our hips in crackpots.
This town won't be safe to live in.
85
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,840
I'm afraid we don't agree
with you, Mr. Hawk. Do we, gentlemen?
86
00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:03,921
No.
87
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:06,966
Aren't you all getting
a little high and mighty?
88
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:10,681
When you couldn't meet my loan,
you danced pretty lively when I talked.
89
00:07:10,848 --> 00:07:15,518
Fortunately, a form of Terpsichore
we no longer have to endure, Mr. Hawk.
90
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,479
Professor Brainard is here.
91
00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:20,021
Oh, splendid.
Ask him to come in, please.
92
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,935
Gentlemen, would you be
good enough to rise?
93
00:07:23,694 --> 00:07:25,454
When Professor Brainard comes
in that door,
94
00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:27,699
Medfield College will embark
upon its golden age.
95
00:07:31,869 --> 00:07:34,369
Thank you, gentlemen,
but I wish you wouldn't do that.
96
00:07:34,455 --> 00:07:36,285
I mean you really shouldn't.
97
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,210
Nonsense, Professor Brainard.
98
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,922
Just a spontaneous little
of our personal esteem.
99
00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:44,053
I mean you, uh...
Well, you really shouldn't.
100
00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:47,887
- Nothing wrong, I trust?
- Well, not exactly. It's just...
101
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:50,965
Well, things aren't quite as
simple as I hoped they'd be.
102
00:07:51,054 --> 00:07:52,774
So, they gave you
the ole dipsy-doodle, huh?
103
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,346
They really sandbagged you.
104
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,980
They hung your hide up
on the barn door to dry.
105
00:07:57,561 --> 00:08:00,731
Professor Brainard, am I to assume that
something has gone amiss?
106
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,114
Well...
107
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,919
But I thought they were
delighted with your discovery.
108
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:06,573
Oh, they are.
It's just that...
109
00:08:07,196 --> 00:08:08,856
Well, it's a little hard to explain.
110
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:10,066
May I?
111
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:13,122
Allow me to boil it down
for you gentlemen,
112
00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:16,372
and you be sure to tell me
if I get it straight?
113
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:20,924
Number one, the boys in Washington
latched on to your little discovery,
114
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,839
so you can't sell it anywhere else.
115
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:29,011
Number two, they're not about to give
you any money until they think it over.
116
00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:31,513
Number three,
117
00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:34,097
meantime, you've got no money.
118
00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:36,272
How am I doin'?
119
00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:38,770
Number four,
120
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:43,272
somebody better lay 350,000 clams
on the barrelhead,
121
00:08:43,315 --> 00:08:45,435
first of the month by 9:00 a.m.
122
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:49,914
to pay off the short-term loan
made to this college
123
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:53,033
by the Auld Lang Syne
Insurance and Loan Company,
124
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:59,082
or else exactly at 9:03
a fleet of bulldozers
125
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:02,959
owned by the Auld Lang Syne
Demolition and Wrecking Company
126
00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:06,047
will start rolling through
those hallowed gates
127
00:09:06,588 --> 00:09:11,468
and start flattening
these ivy-covered walls in all directions.
128
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,215
Period.
129
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,060
End of story.
130
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,981
Very sad.
131
00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:20,346
But, uh,
132
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:25,018
personally, I'm crazy about it.
133
00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:28,646
I can't believe you'd do a thing like that,
Mr. Hawk.
134
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:29,985
Oh, you can't?
135
00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:35,029
Well, boys, it looks like
I'm calling the tune again.
136
00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:36,907
Anybody care to dance?
137
00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:40,368
I know how badly
you must feel, President Daggett,
138
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:41,955
but things aren't
as bad as they seem.
139
00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,643
I have this exciting new project
I'm working on...
140
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:44,667
Excuse me.
141
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:50,423
Mr. Hawk, I know we all want to give
full attention to your point of view.
142
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:51,927
I'm sure we can resolve
143
00:09:52,009 --> 00:09:54,249
any minor differences
that happen to exist at the moment.
144
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:55,679
Wanna bet?
145
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:03,153
Mr. Hawk, we know
the welfare of Medfield College
146
00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:04,935
is very close to your heart.
147
00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:06,692
As a civic leader...
148
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,185
Pearls!
149
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:14,034
Oh, I just love pearls.
How did you know?
150
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:16,527
I make it my business
to know, Mrs. Brainard.
151
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:18,947
And now, little something
to keep the chill off.
152
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,036
Oh!
153
00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:24,251
Oh, you mustn't.
You really mustn't.
154
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:25,713
Oh!
155
00:10:27,461 --> 00:10:31,721
Well, you don't think
it's a little bit too fussy, do you?
156
00:10:31,757 --> 00:10:34,297
Like you've been wearing it
all your life, Mrs. Brainard.
157
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:35,724
To the manor born.
158
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:37,894
And here, the finishing touch.
159
00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:40,559
How chic!
160
00:10:40,599 --> 00:10:43,389
I knew you'd like them, Mrs. Brainard.
You look like a queen,
161
00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:44,728
a regular queen.
162
00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:46,020
- An empress.
- A goddess.
163
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,071
I do, don't I?
164
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:52,243
This, as you can see,
is a check for one million dollars
165
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:53,839
made out to
the Professor and yourself.
166
00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:58,827
One million dollars!
Oh, but, Mr. Hurley, whatever for?
167
00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:01,952
For a kind word, Mrs. Brainard.
Only a kind word.
168
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:06,580
You know, in a business deal,
the right word from the little woman...
169
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,745
I'm a great believer
in the power of a woman.
170
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:13,469
- How true.
- You really got something, Mr. Hurley.
171
00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:17,257
Well, I don't know what Ned's
going to say about all this.
172
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,464
For a space-age scientist,
he's a little bit old-fa...
173
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:24,018
Yoo-hoo, Ned. Guess who?
174
00:11:24,476 --> 00:11:25,516
Betsy!
175
00:11:25,602 --> 00:11:27,192
Professor Brainard, my name is Hurley.
176
00:11:27,312 --> 00:11:29,152
I've spoken to you on the phone,
from New York.
177
00:11:29,272 --> 00:11:31,084
- What I'd like to do...
- Betsy, what is all this
178
00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:33,028
the dogs and that coat?
Please take it off.
179
00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:34,320
We can't afford that.
180
00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:36,453
Now why don't we let
the little lady enjoy herself?
181
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:39,240
Professor, I'd like to talk
some business with you.
182
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:41,636
I hope you won't think
I'm presumptuous going ahead like this.
183
00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:42,950
Mr. Hurley is a live wire.
184
00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:45,254
He likes to act
while other people are still talking.
185
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:48,460
Just a minute.
Who are all these people around here?
186
00:11:48,709 --> 00:11:51,129
All part of your company,
Flubber Enterprises.
187
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:53,631
"Flubber Enterprises?"
188
00:11:53,672 --> 00:11:55,802
Just a cozy little company
we're putting together,
189
00:11:55,841 --> 00:11:57,441
you and I, to make things
out of Flubber.
190
00:11:57,634 --> 00:12:00,738
Professor, when you invented this stuff,
I don't think you dreamed what you had.
191
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:03,392
It'll touch the lives of every man, woman
and child in the world.
192
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,143
Just like Edison and the electric light.
193
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:09,397
Now wait, I hardly consider myself in
the same class with Mr. Edison.
194
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:10,809
Don't be so modest, Professor.
195
00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,687
That's your trouble.
That's where I come in.
196
00:12:12,774 --> 00:12:15,784
Now, I've worked up a few product sells
here just to give you an idea.
197
00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:19,031
"Flubbermint gum,
it chews while you snooze."
198
00:12:19,573 --> 00:12:22,623
"Flubberin, bounces away pain
again and again."
199
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:26,663
"Flub away the flab with
the scientific Flubbercycle."
200
00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:28,924
"You'll wonder where your dentist went
201
00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:32,626
"when you brush your teeth with
Flubberdent with Hexoflubberene."
202
00:12:33,128 --> 00:12:36,168
And now I've had our agency boys
work up a little TV campaign.
203
00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:38,338
Show people what
Flubber can do for them.
204
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:39,675
Hit them where they live.
205
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,195
They'll wonder
how they got along without it.
206
00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:43,489
Now I don't want you to get
the feeling that we're rushing you.
207
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:44,603
But the thing is...
208
00:12:44,681 --> 00:12:46,851
- Howie, roll the film.
- Guess what this is?
209
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:49,274
A million dollars!
210
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:50,982
- Quiet, Professor.
- But, Betsy...
211
00:12:54,858 --> 00:12:56,898
Hi there. Rex Williams here.
212
00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,525
You know, my friends, down
through the corridors of time,
213
00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:02,323
as mankind has emerged
from the Dark Ages,
214
00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:05,655
toiling, ever striving upward,
there have been turning points,
215
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:10,712
inspirational milestones, and we
remember the great names of science.
216
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:15,299
Newton and the law of gravity.
217
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:18,377
Watt and the steam engine.
218
00:13:20,509 --> 00:13:22,929
Edison and the electric light.
219
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,183
And, my friends,
220
00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:29,183
Brainard and Flubber.
221
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,904
Yes, ladies and gentlemen,
222
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,399
Flubber.
223
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,781
For it was not too long ago,
in a small American city,
224
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:41,738
that the discovery of Flubber
burst upon a waiting world.
225
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,236
That was the beginning.
226
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:49,204
From those first crude
basketball shoes came more shoes,
227
00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:53,118
shoes for people in every walk of life.
228
00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:55,879
But it was not to stop there.
229
00:13:56,253 --> 00:14:00,593
True, now man had lifted
himself up by his own boot straps.
230
00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:03,551
He could walk with his head
above the crowd.
231
00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:06,474
But this was only the springboard,
232
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:09,516
not only to a vast new line of products,
233
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:12,849
but to a happier, safer way of life.
234
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:16,396
Friends,
is your home a booby trap
235
00:14:16,439 --> 00:14:18,939
just waiting to snare you the
moment you set foot in it?
236
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:20,782
I'm home, dear.
237
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:29,288
Is your kitchen a savage jungle
teeming with perils and pitfalls?
238
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,619
Dear, where's the first-aid kit!
239
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:35,785
Stop clowning, George.
You'll frighten the baby!
240
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:39,296
In short, is your family accident prone?
241
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:43,723
Then, friends, the time has
come to flubberize your home.
242
00:14:44,009 --> 00:14:48,139
Transform it from a booby trap
into a love nest.
243
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:51,021
Make it safe for you
and your loved ones.
244
00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:55,901
Yes, flubberize your home
with hazard-free flubberoleum floors.
245
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:59,939
Flubberoleum, in 16
beautiful decorator colors.
246
00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:05,156
The foamiest, friendliest floor that ever
fondled your family's feet.
247
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:08,409
I'm home, darling.
248
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:10,161
Hi.
249
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,953
- Darling!
- Sweetheart!
250
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:21,842
- Oh!
- I got him! Whee!
251
00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:30,351
Yes, folks, you'd coo too...
252
00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:33,269
If you belonged
to this happy Flubber family,
253
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:35,730
the family who can say proudly...
254
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:38,860
They live in the house
with the flubberoleum floors.
255
00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:48,742
That's just the start.
256
00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:51,385
There are hundreds of products
we haven't even thought of yet.
257
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,369
I'm very impressed, Mr. Hurley, but...
258
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,873
Fine. Now if you'll just
sign this letter of agreement.
259
00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:58,476
That million-dollar check
is the evidence of our good faith.
260
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:01,040
Well, there's just one little hitch.
I have a prior commitment.
261
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,473
A prior commitment? With who?
262
00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:06,798
The government.
263
00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:11,054
- Our government?
- That's right.
264
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,520
You just said the magic word.
265
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:16,702
All right, boys, pack up the gear.
Let's get out of here. The party's over.
266
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,496
I can't tell you how badly
I feel, Mr. Hurley.
267
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:20,270
I do have another idea you might be...
268
00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:23,444
- Forget it.
- You've hurt Mr. Hurley very deeply.
269
00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:26,025
- Oh! Oh!
- He is terribly disappointed in you, sir.
270
00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:30,449
- Now just a minute. This is my dress.
- Oh! I beg your pardon.
271
00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:33,052
If you'd just let me show you some of
the plans I have in my lab...
272
00:16:33,076 --> 00:16:35,076
- Mrs. Brainard, the check, please.
- Oh, please.
273
00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,830
Do I have to give this back?
274
00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:38,253
If you don't mind.
275
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,711
- No.
- Betsy, give Mr. Hurley back his check.
276
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,380
I won't!
277
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:47,546
Betsy!
278
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,876
This isn't like you.
Now give him his check.
279
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:52,550
- No!
- Betsy, give me that check.
280
00:16:53,096 --> 00:16:54,256
Betsy.
281
00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,385
Give it to me.
282
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,980
Thank you.
283
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,612
Oh, I'm sorry, dear.
284
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:10,530
I just lost my head for a moment.
285
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,551
But when you've been fighting
with the grocer all month
286
00:17:13,575 --> 00:17:15,615
and you find a million dollars
in your hand...
287
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:19,333
I suppose this half isn't any good?
288
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,630
Oh, very nice. Beautiful quality.
289
00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,595
- Professor Brainard?
- Yes?
290
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:45,147
How do you do? My name is Harker.
I'm from Washington.
291
00:17:45,607 --> 00:17:46,727
From Washington?
292
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:48,294
Well, am I glad to see you.
Come right in.
293
00:17:48,318 --> 00:17:49,318
Thank you.
294
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,572
Darling, wonderful news.
295
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,465
This is Mr. Harker.
He's here from Washington already.
296
00:17:52,489 --> 00:17:55,529
How perfectly marvelous.
How do you do?
297
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:57,678
How do you do?
It's very nice to know you, Mrs. Brainard.
298
00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,055
May I take your hat and coat,
Mr. Harker?
299
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,079
Oh. Thank you.
300
00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:02,713
You and your discovery have certainly
created quite a stir
301
00:18:02,791 --> 00:18:04,671
down in our nation's capital.
302
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,341
- And you've come about the payments?
- You betcha.
303
00:18:07,545 --> 00:18:08,875
You're quite a prize, you know.
304
00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:11,674
The boys in my department drew
straws to see who'd get ya.
305
00:18:11,716 --> 00:18:13,676
- I'm happy to say I won.
- Well, thank you.
306
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:14,928
Now the thing is, Mr. Harker,
307
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,031
we want most of this money
to go to Medfield College.
308
00:18:17,055 --> 00:18:20,555
Oh, but first, of course, we'd like
to pinch off just a tiny bit for ourselves.
309
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:22,828
Just enough to take care
of the household bills
310
00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,732
that have been stacking up for months.
311
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:26,693
- All right, dear?
- Whatever you say, darling.
312
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:36,198
I'm afraid you folks don't understand.
313
00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:38,161
I'm from the Internal Revenue Service.
314
00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:41,597
Well, if there's one thing we could use
around here, it's a little revenue.
315
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,291
Yes, we certainly...
316
00:18:46,876 --> 00:18:48,666
Internal revenue?
317
00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:52,418
Your tax bill for the first three quarters
of the current year.
318
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:57,432
The figure includes delinquent penalties
of $12,895 at five percent
319
00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:58,894
for the first two quarters.
320
00:18:58,972 --> 00:19:01,392
All based on an estimate of
projected earnings, of course.
321
00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:04,600
$656,000?
322
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,061
Oh, I realize that the estimate is low,
323
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:09,357
considering the staggering
potential of Flubber.
324
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,404
But Uncle Sam is willing
to be understanding
325
00:19:12,527 --> 00:19:14,317
until you get
your financial house in order.
326
00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:18,281
But, Mr. Harker,
we don't have 656 cents.
327
00:19:18,533 --> 00:19:19,953
You don't say?
328
00:19:21,077 --> 00:19:22,197
Let me explain, Mr. Harker.
329
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:25,745
You see, I turned my discovery
over to those people at the Pentagon.
330
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:28,075
Now they put a top-secret
classification on it.
331
00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:30,416
I'm not even supposed
to talk to anybody about it.
332
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,837
Yes. I know those boys
at the Pentagon.
333
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:38,013
I used to review some of the General's
personal tax returns. A million laughs.
334
00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:40,431
Well, then you do understand.
335
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:42,269
Certainly.
336
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:44,601
Excuse me.
337
00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:47,788
Now if you'll just give me a check for
the amount on this paper here, please.
338
00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:50,192
But how can I pay you
if nobody pays me?
339
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:52,643
Well, I regret to say, Professor,
that's your problem.
340
00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:55,816
But... Look at it from our standpoint.
341
00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:59,199
We've been counting on you.
We trusted you.
342
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:01,202
Uncle Sam needs the money.
343
00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:04,584
You don't build those rockets to
the moon with green stamps, you know.
344
00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:07,751
Excuse me, dear.
Joey's here to collect for the paper.
345
00:20:07,790 --> 00:20:09,602
- Do you have half a dollar?
- I don't think so.
346
00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:12,313
Now you estimated your income
for the current year at a million dollars.
347
00:20:12,337 --> 00:20:13,377
Is this true?
348
00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:15,383
Well, that was just a wild guess,
Mr. Harker.
349
00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:17,026
We thought the money was going
to come rolling in
350
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:18,340
from all directions, millions!
351
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:21,006
We wouldn't be able to count it all.
There's ten cents.
352
00:20:21,679 --> 00:20:24,116
There's another dime. That's twenty.
We'll have to owe him the rest.
353
00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:25,480
He wants his money.
354
00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:28,059
But you did make this estimate
based on
355
00:20:28,144 --> 00:20:30,154
this tidal wave of money
that you speak about.
356
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,940
That's right. There's another dime.
That's all I've got.
357
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,493
There's not another cent
in the whole house.
358
00:20:37,111 --> 00:20:40,741
You see, essentially, Professor,
we have a trusting nature.
359
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:42,453
When a taxpayer makes an estimate,
360
00:20:42,492 --> 00:20:44,412
we believe him,
we're happy for him.
361
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,445
We're rooting for him all the way.
362
00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:48,753
Well, that's very kind of you, Mr. Harker.
363
00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:50,921
Oh, Ned, I cleaned all
the loose change out of there.
364
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,250
Oh. Well, we should
have company over more often.
365
00:20:54,879 --> 00:20:57,419
But Uncle Sam has to run
his store on current income
366
00:20:57,507 --> 00:20:58,717
just like everyone else.
367
00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:01,339
When the money he's
counting on doesn't come in,
368
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:02,427
he's very sad.
369
00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:04,698
Now, in this case, the sadness
is represented by
370
00:21:04,722 --> 00:21:08,182
a delinquent penalty of $12,895.
371
00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,936
I found another dime.
We're still a dime light.
372
00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:12,539
Then I'll just have to go
and talk to him.
373
00:21:12,563 --> 00:21:13,733
Uh, Professor...
374
00:21:14,357 --> 00:21:16,857
May I?
375
00:21:18,319 --> 00:21:19,569
Thank you, Mr. Harker.
376
00:21:20,405 --> 00:21:21,695
Thank you.
377
00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:23,909
Now, in addition
to the six percent penalty,
378
00:21:24,242 --> 00:21:27,162
in the case of willful failure
to pay your estimated tax,
379
00:21:27,203 --> 00:21:29,213
there's a $10,000 fine...
380
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:31,580
Or imprisonment.
381
00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:34,416
Thank you, Mrs. Brainard.
I'll give you your receipt.
382
00:21:34,544 --> 00:21:38,974
Professor, what is, uh,
the little lad's name?
383
00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:41,379
Uh, Joey Marriano.
384
00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:44,724
And how many customers
would you say he has on his route?
385
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:47,394
- Oh, I'd say around 30.
- Wait a minute.
386
00:21:47,473 --> 00:21:50,393
What are you doing with that
information about little Joey?
387
00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:53,146
Uh, just a reminder to myself
to put a spot-check on the lad.
388
00:21:53,229 --> 00:21:54,559
A small thing, you might say,
389
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:57,687
but you'd be surprised how much
unreported income turns up this way.
390
00:21:58,609 --> 00:22:00,569
But Joey's only seven years old.
391
00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:02,777
You wouldn't take money from a child.
392
00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:09,406
You know, Professor,
393
00:22:09,454 --> 00:22:11,544
your wife has a
refreshing sense of humor.
394
00:22:11,706 --> 00:22:14,306
We don't run into it often
in our line of work, and that's a fact.
395
00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:16,712
You ought to be ashamed.
396
00:22:16,753 --> 00:22:19,383
Ah-ah-ah-ah. Sticks and stones, etc.
397
00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:22,592
We do our part to keep the wheels
of democracy rolling.
398
00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:26,175
Warriors unsung,
unknown, misunderstood.
399
00:22:27,513 --> 00:22:30,393
If need be, I imagine you'd
put your own mother in jail.
400
00:22:30,933 --> 00:22:33,063
Funny you should mention that
about Mom.
401
00:22:33,102 --> 00:22:36,772
A little matter of some unreported
income from jams and jellies.
402
00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:39,863
We nailed her dead to rights.
403
00:22:40,985 --> 00:22:43,605
Well, I won't bore you with shop talk.
404
00:22:44,238 --> 00:22:46,528
Uh, one last little
parting thought, Professor.
405
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:50,040
Should Uncle Sam really want
to throw the book at you,
406
00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:53,709
we have some lovely punitive
laws under section 7203,
407
00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:58,590
and section 6653, paragraph b,
is a real Jim-Dandy.
408
00:22:58,628 --> 00:23:01,338
Good day, sir, and a pleasant day
to you, Mrs. Brainard.
409
00:23:03,633 --> 00:23:05,643
Oh, Ned.
410
00:23:07,804 --> 00:23:10,014
I forgot to kiss you
when I came home.
411
00:23:11,015 --> 00:23:13,225
I missed you.
412
00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:15,139
I missed you, too.
413
00:23:15,561 --> 00:23:16,705
You know all I could think about
414
00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:19,109
while I was there in Washington?
415
00:23:19,148 --> 00:23:20,398
What?
416
00:23:20,483 --> 00:23:22,863
I just couldn't help feeling
sorry for all those people.
417
00:23:22,944 --> 00:23:24,704
They have their problems,
too, you know.
418
00:23:24,779 --> 00:23:26,779
Now, you take that income tax man.
419
00:23:26,823 --> 00:23:29,583
Ned Brainard, don't you dare,
420
00:23:29,659 --> 00:23:31,369
dare try to straighten out
the government.
421
00:23:31,452 --> 00:23:33,452
We have our own troubles, right here.
422
00:23:33,496 --> 00:23:35,682
Sweetheart, I was only thinking
about the welfare of our country.
423
00:23:35,706 --> 00:23:37,876
Well, this is part of
the country, isn't it?
424
00:23:37,959 --> 00:23:40,749
This house is
on United States territory.
425
00:23:40,837 --> 00:23:42,207
We're citizens.
426
00:23:42,338 --> 00:23:45,928
Now look, I don't want
to appear selfish, but just once,
427
00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:48,178
can't we think about ourselves?
428
00:23:48,261 --> 00:23:49,988
Betsy, I don't blame you
for feeling the way you do,
429
00:23:50,012 --> 00:23:52,157
but please believe me,
everything's going to work out all right.
430
00:23:52,181 --> 00:23:53,221
But, Ned!
431
00:23:53,307 --> 00:23:54,326
Now sit down, and hold your
breath.
432
00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:56,640
I have something of
great importance to tell you.
433
00:23:56,686 --> 00:23:57,686
Oh?
434
00:23:57,770 --> 00:23:59,832
I wasn't going to tell you
till I had it completely worked out,
435
00:23:59,856 --> 00:24:01,959
but if I keep it to myself any longer,
I'm going to bust.
436
00:24:01,983 --> 00:24:04,943
Betsy, this is going
to bowl you over.
437
00:24:05,027 --> 00:24:07,027
I think I've managed
to get hold of the weather.
438
00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:11,204
What does that mean, you
"got hold of the weather"?
439
00:24:11,284 --> 00:24:14,044
What it means, Mrs. Brainard,
is that Flubber was only the key
440
00:24:14,120 --> 00:24:17,210
that unlocked a great storehouse
of cosmic forces.
441
00:24:17,248 --> 00:24:20,328
Out in that humble garage,
from the residue of Flubber,
442
00:24:20,376 --> 00:24:21,876
I found a gas.
443
00:24:21,919 --> 00:24:26,049
I call it "Flubber gas," and I have reason
to believe that with this Flubber gas,
444
00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:28,342
I can activate a change
in the molecular balance
445
00:24:28,384 --> 00:24:29,724
of the atmosphere.
446
00:24:29,927 --> 00:24:31,547
It could even trigger off the energies
447
00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:33,177
which give us rain, snow, sleet,
448
00:24:33,222 --> 00:24:36,062
electrical storms, blue skies,
sunshine,
449
00:24:36,142 --> 00:24:38,232
whatever, wherever we choose.
450
00:24:38,269 --> 00:24:40,149
Do you realize
what that would mean, Betsy?
451
00:24:40,229 --> 00:24:41,623
It would mean that,
for the first time,
452
00:24:41,647 --> 00:24:43,437
weather would become
the slave of man,
453
00:24:43,524 --> 00:24:44,904
rather than his master.
454
00:24:44,984 --> 00:24:46,904
It could change
the future of the whole world,
455
00:24:46,986 --> 00:24:49,066
the history of mankind itself.
456
00:24:49,113 --> 00:24:50,913
That's very nice, dear.
457
00:24:50,948 --> 00:24:53,578
Very nice?
Betsy, this is the greatest...
458
00:24:53,618 --> 00:24:57,368
Ned, why do you always have to
do something so world-shattering?
459
00:24:57,413 --> 00:24:58,663
Can't it be something modest
460
00:24:58,748 --> 00:25:01,038
that would bring
just a few dollars into this house?
461
00:25:01,083 --> 00:25:03,593
Like goop that would keep
fingernails from breaking?
462
00:25:03,669 --> 00:25:06,759
Or trash can lids that would actually
fit the top of trash cans!
463
00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:08,419
Trash cans?
464
00:25:08,466 --> 00:25:10,836
Or some little machine
that pays the grocer
465
00:25:10,927 --> 00:25:12,404
and the dry cleaner
at the end of every month.
466
00:25:12,428 --> 00:25:15,258
I'd say I could use
a little machine like that right now!
467
00:25:15,348 --> 00:25:16,558
Betsy, please be serious.
468
00:25:16,599 --> 00:25:19,519
Do you realize what a wonderful age
we are living in today?
469
00:25:19,602 --> 00:25:21,772
Anything can happen.
Anything!
470
00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:23,814
Forty years ago,
even thirty years ago,
471
00:25:23,898 --> 00:25:25,898
if I said I'd found a
way to control weather,
472
00:25:25,942 --> 00:25:26,942
no one would've listened,
473
00:25:27,026 --> 00:25:28,420
but today,
do you know what they'd say?
474
00:25:28,444 --> 00:25:29,824
I know what I would say.
475
00:25:29,904 --> 00:25:33,034
I'd say I think the first impression that
I ever had of you was right.
476
00:25:33,115 --> 00:25:34,155
What was that?
477
00:25:34,242 --> 00:25:35,452
I thought you were nuts!
478
00:25:39,997 --> 00:25:42,577
Look. We've got this big
football game with Rutland
479
00:25:42,625 --> 00:25:44,085
- next Saturday, right?
- Right.
480
00:25:44,126 --> 00:25:45,771
And they're practically
national champs, right?
481
00:25:45,795 --> 00:25:48,125
- Right.
- Suppose we beat Rutland on Saturday.
482
00:25:48,172 --> 00:25:50,382
Even my own father
couldn't close a college
483
00:25:50,466 --> 00:25:52,110
that had just clobbered
the national champs, could he?
484
00:25:52,134 --> 00:25:54,224
Ah, Biff,
how can we beat Rutland?
485
00:25:54,303 --> 00:25:55,723
Our team is hardly strong enough
486
00:25:55,805 --> 00:25:57,282
to get itself dressed in the morning.
487
00:25:57,306 --> 00:25:58,666
What do you think the suit is for?
488
00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:00,234
Science in action, boy.
489
00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:01,787
I haven't been hangin'
around professor Brainard
490
00:26:01,811 --> 00:26:03,038
all semester just for kicks, you know.
491
00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:05,772
What's this thing supposed to do?
492
00:26:05,856 --> 00:26:07,476
Knute Rockne put
new ideas into football.
493
00:26:07,525 --> 00:26:09,315
Pop Warner put new ideas
into football.
494
00:26:09,402 --> 00:26:12,282
And now, Alonzo Hawk Jr.
Is gonna do his part.
495
00:26:12,321 --> 00:26:13,741
- How does that feel?
- Hi, Biff.
496
00:26:13,823 --> 00:26:14,993
Oh, hi, Prof.
497
00:26:15,032 --> 00:26:17,332
Good. You've got the Flubber
gas all hooked up, huh?
498
00:26:17,368 --> 00:26:19,948
Just like you asked me to, sir.
Oh, by the way, Professor,
499
00:26:19,996 --> 00:26:21,306
I'd like you
to meet my assistant.
500
00:26:21,330 --> 00:26:22,540
This is Humphrey Hacker.
501
00:26:22,623 --> 00:26:24,793
Oh. Glad to know ya, Humphrey.
502
00:26:24,834 --> 00:26:26,794
- Hi there.
- He wants to become a scientist.
503
00:26:26,836 --> 00:26:27,916
Oh, not exactly.
504
00:26:28,004 --> 00:26:30,674
What I'm really interested in
is animal husbandry.
505
00:26:30,715 --> 00:26:33,295
Oh, Humph, I wouldn't let you
throw your life on a bunch of cows.
506
00:26:33,342 --> 00:26:36,352
Sir, science needs brilliant
young minds like Humphrey.
507
00:26:36,387 --> 00:26:38,007
Besides, I needed a volunteer.
508
00:26:38,097 --> 00:26:40,017
Volunteer? For what?
509
00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:41,429
Sir, I hope you won't mind,
510
00:26:41,517 --> 00:26:43,495
but I'd like very much to
borrow a little Flubber gas.
511
00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:45,497
You see, we've got
this football suit here, that...
512
00:26:45,521 --> 00:26:46,521
Oh, so that's what it is.
513
00:26:46,814 --> 00:26:49,364
Yes, sir.
Humphrey, come on, demonstrate.
514
00:26:49,442 --> 00:26:52,702
When we get the Flubber gas,
it would come through feed tube A
515
00:26:52,903 --> 00:26:54,413
and inflate shoulder pad B.
516
00:26:54,905 --> 00:26:56,865
Then it would come through
feed tube C
517
00:26:57,033 --> 00:27:00,203
and inflate shoulder pad D
and then the leg pads, and so forth.
518
00:27:00,620 --> 00:27:02,040
There's only thing, Biff.
519
00:27:02,413 --> 00:27:05,003
Flubber gas is extremely violent,
exceptionally powerful.
520
00:27:05,041 --> 00:27:07,641
I don't know how much protection
those pads are going to give you.
521
00:27:08,461 --> 00:27:11,011
Protection, sir? Oh, we're not
thinking about protection.
522
00:27:11,047 --> 00:27:12,507
We're thinking about
offensive power!
523
00:27:13,007 --> 00:27:16,337
Well, look. Just imagine, sir.
The teams line up. The ball is snapped.
524
00:27:16,385 --> 00:27:18,113
I take the ball, and I slam it into
Humphrey's stomach.
525
00:27:18,137 --> 00:27:19,217
- Bam!
- Oof!
526
00:27:19,263 --> 00:27:20,907
Now a whole wave
of those big Rutland gorillas
527
00:27:20,931 --> 00:27:22,351
comes pouring in to smash him.
528
00:27:22,391 --> 00:27:24,351
Fearlessly, Humphrey
lowers his head
529
00:27:24,393 --> 00:27:25,903
and he charges right into 'em.
530
00:27:25,978 --> 00:27:27,188
The Flubber gas reacts...
Zam!
531
00:27:27,229 --> 00:27:28,519
Wham! Kersplunch!
532
00:27:28,606 --> 00:27:30,776
Rutland linemen fall like
ten pins in every direction!
533
00:27:30,900 --> 00:27:33,030
Humphrey staggers,
but he keeps running.
534
00:27:33,069 --> 00:27:35,149
The Rutland secondary
comes in just to smash him!
535
00:27:35,237 --> 00:27:36,737
Boom! Pow!
Pow!
536
00:27:36,781 --> 00:27:38,421
Like water off a duck's back,
they bounce.
537
00:27:38,574 --> 00:27:40,254
Humphrey staggers,
but he keeps on running,
538
00:27:40,326 --> 00:27:41,536
and he's to the 30.
539
00:27:41,619 --> 00:27:44,459
He's to the 20, the 10!
He's over for a touchdown!
540
00:27:44,538 --> 00:27:45,788
Fans are going wild!
541
00:27:45,915 --> 00:27:48,705
Yeah, Humphrey!
Yeah, Medfield! Yeah!
542
00:27:48,751 --> 00:27:49,751
Yeah!
543
00:27:50,461 --> 00:27:51,921
Whaddya think, sir?
544
00:27:52,421 --> 00:27:55,261
Well, if first impressions
mean anything, I, uh...
545
00:27:55,341 --> 00:27:57,091
I think you're slightly nuts.
546
00:27:57,426 --> 00:27:59,136
- Sir?
- I'm sorry, Biff.
547
00:27:59,220 --> 00:28:01,239
I was thinking of something
someone very near and dear
548
00:28:01,263 --> 00:28:02,433
just said to me.
549
00:28:02,682 --> 00:28:04,201
Don't let me discourage you.
You go right ahead.
550
00:28:04,225 --> 00:28:07,225
Oh, thank you, sir. We'll go
on a crash program right now.
551
00:28:07,269 --> 00:28:08,399
Pick it up, Humph.
552
00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:11,937
We're gonna eat and sleep this thing
24 hours a day till we get it whipped.
553
00:28:12,108 --> 00:28:13,919
- Let me know if I can help you.
- Thank you, sir.
554
00:28:13,943 --> 00:28:17,283
Meantime, I'm on a little trash can...
I mean, crash program of my own.
555
00:28:19,615 --> 00:28:21,115
Project weather gun.
556
00:28:22,159 --> 00:28:23,409
Well, here goes.
557
00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:27,831
First, we connect the circuit
with the weather gun.
558
00:28:36,048 --> 00:28:37,798
And we fill the circuit
with Flubber gas.
559
00:28:40,761 --> 00:28:42,761
Then we activate the pump...
560
00:28:43,013 --> 00:28:45,563
So the gas flows through
the gun at constant pressure.
561
00:28:47,852 --> 00:28:50,332
Now the Flubber gas is violent,
but we need even more violence,
562
00:28:50,396 --> 00:28:52,306
so we stimulate it electronically.
563
00:29:04,827 --> 00:29:05,997
Yeah.
564
00:29:07,747 --> 00:29:09,247
Now, let's see what we've got.
565
00:29:14,503 --> 00:29:16,883
Hmm. Now let's see.
566
00:29:21,302 --> 00:29:24,262
You know, Biff, this stuff
is labeled "dangerous."
567
00:29:25,139 --> 00:29:26,559
Oh, now, Humph boy.
568
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,720
Look, would I get you into a situation
unless I knew exactly what I was doing?
569
00:29:31,228 --> 00:29:32,518
Yeah.
570
00:29:33,230 --> 00:29:36,480
That should do it.
That should do it.
571
00:29:39,737 --> 00:29:42,317
I've never seen them so worked up.
572
00:29:43,407 --> 00:29:45,407
When I bombard a cloud
with a beam like this,
573
00:29:45,493 --> 00:29:47,043
it just has to lead to clustering.
574
00:29:47,578 --> 00:29:50,328
In turn, leading to a transfer
of particle momentum
575
00:29:50,915 --> 00:29:54,455
and the inevitable consequence,
precipitation. Rain all over the place.
576
00:29:54,710 --> 00:29:56,000
Now, for a cloud.
577
00:29:58,047 --> 00:29:59,587
Not a cloud in the sky.
578
00:30:00,508 --> 00:30:02,468
Not one single cloud.
579
00:30:08,891 --> 00:30:10,891
Wouldn't ya know it?
580
00:30:13,562 --> 00:30:16,112
Well, what have we here?
581
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,320
Range, about 30 feet.
582
00:30:25,115 --> 00:30:26,575
Switch on.
583
00:30:27,785 --> 00:30:30,365
Ready. Aim.
584
00:30:31,413 --> 00:30:32,623
Fire.
585
00:31:22,298 --> 00:31:23,668
It works!
586
00:31:42,318 --> 00:31:43,938
Charlie Brainard!
587
00:31:48,324 --> 00:31:50,874
Betsy. Betsy.
I did it! I did it!
588
00:31:51,619 --> 00:31:53,096
- You did?
- That's right, sweetheart.
589
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:54,370
And that's only the beginning.
590
00:31:54,455 --> 00:31:56,349
The next time, I'm going
to flood the whole county.
591
00:31:56,373 --> 00:31:57,642
It's a result of my fooling around
592
00:31:57,666 --> 00:31:59,786
with the molecular
configuration of Flubber gas.
593
00:32:00,169 --> 00:32:01,419
I'll get a mop and clean it up.
594
00:32:01,503 --> 00:32:02,883
Oh, never mind.
595
00:32:02,963 --> 00:32:04,303
Ned, I've had enough
for one day.
596
00:32:04,340 --> 00:32:06,510
All I ask of you
is to get dressed for dinner.
597
00:32:06,592 --> 00:32:08,152
Company will be here at seven o' clock.
598
00:32:08,177 --> 00:32:10,007
Whatever you say, dear.
599
00:32:10,387 --> 00:32:15,137
♪ Though April showers may come
your way they bring the flowers ♪
600
00:32:16,894 --> 00:32:18,774
Well, who's going to be here
for dinner, Betsy?
601
00:32:18,854 --> 00:32:20,114
Oh, didn't I tell you, dear?
602
00:32:20,189 --> 00:32:21,519
No, I don't think you did.
603
00:32:23,359 --> 00:32:24,739
Who's going to be here?
604
00:32:25,444 --> 00:32:26,954
Now, I don't want you to be upset.
605
00:32:27,029 --> 00:32:28,859
Betsy, who's coming to dinner?
606
00:32:28,906 --> 00:32:30,696
If there's one thing
I'm certain you're not,
607
00:32:30,741 --> 00:32:32,161
it's narrow-minded.
608
00:32:32,618 --> 00:32:35,908
Betsy, I would like to know
who's coming to dinner.
609
00:32:35,996 --> 00:32:38,366
It isn't as though he were
coming all by himself.
610
00:32:38,457 --> 00:32:40,769
Besides, he was such a good
sport about our getting married.
611
00:32:40,793 --> 00:32:41,883
You don't mean...
612
00:32:41,919 --> 00:32:43,419
I don't see one single reason
613
00:32:43,504 --> 00:32:45,054
why we can't
all be good friends.
614
00:32:45,089 --> 00:32:46,399
We're adults, you know, not children.
615
00:32:46,423 --> 00:32:48,433
You don't for one single minute mean...
616
00:32:48,509 --> 00:32:51,099
That dear, sweet, kind, thoughtful...
617
00:32:51,178 --> 00:32:53,558
Double-crossing, miserable,
four-flushing snake...
618
00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:55,427
Shelby Ashton!
619
00:32:57,643 --> 00:33:00,853
Betsy, I think you'll agree
that I'm a very patient man.
620
00:33:01,438 --> 00:33:02,768
But old flame or not,
621
00:33:02,856 --> 00:33:06,606
if that no-good rat sets one grubby paw
inside this house, I'll...
622
00:33:06,694 --> 00:33:09,034
Ned, if you raise one hand...
623
00:33:11,281 --> 00:33:12,321
I'll get it.
624
00:33:20,582 --> 00:33:22,922
Nuzzie! Oh.
625
00:33:23,585 --> 00:33:27,205
Evening, Professor. Hello, Betsy dear.
It's wonderful to...
626
00:33:27,256 --> 00:33:28,256
Who is that?
627
00:33:29,091 --> 00:33:30,591
As soon as they unglue
themselves,
628
00:33:30,634 --> 00:33:32,804
I'd like you to meet
an old friend of Ned's.
629
00:33:32,928 --> 00:33:36,218
- Desiree De la Roche.
- Now wait a minute. I don't know any...
630
00:33:37,641 --> 00:33:40,231
Holy cats!
It's Mary Lee Spooner!
631
00:33:40,269 --> 00:33:41,689
Of course it is, Nuzzie darling.
632
00:33:41,770 --> 00:33:42,860
I'll be darned.
633
00:33:42,938 --> 00:33:45,938
I knew you were vague, lover,
but I didn't think you were that vague.
634
00:33:46,025 --> 00:33:47,775
I'll be doggone.
635
00:33:48,027 --> 00:33:49,567
Betsy, do you know who this is?
636
00:33:49,611 --> 00:33:51,611
No, "Nuzzie," who is it?
637
00:33:51,697 --> 00:33:53,067
It's Mary Lee Spooner.
638
00:33:53,115 --> 00:33:54,825
You said that before.
639
00:33:54,908 --> 00:33:56,908
Somehow or another,
I didn't get much out of it.
640
00:33:57,077 --> 00:33:58,947
You must've heard me
talk about her.
641
00:33:59,038 --> 00:34:00,868
Mary Lee and I
used to go together, didn't we?
642
00:34:00,956 --> 00:34:02,786
It was long before I met you, Betsy.
643
00:34:03,208 --> 00:34:04,588
By gosh, Mary Lee, you've changed.
644
00:34:04,626 --> 00:34:07,456
What's all this
Desiree De la whatever it is?
645
00:34:07,546 --> 00:34:10,126
Well, I've been married here
and there, and, uh,
646
00:34:10,215 --> 00:34:12,835
I picked up a name or two
since I left Medfield.
647
00:34:13,427 --> 00:34:14,779
And I've just been living
in Paris all this time.
648
00:34:14,803 --> 00:34:15,803
Paris, huh?
649
00:34:15,888 --> 00:34:16,968
Didn't you know that?
650
00:34:17,014 --> 00:34:18,908
I didn't know that.
I wondered what happened to ya.
651
00:34:18,932 --> 00:34:21,482
Gosh, we used to have the times,
didn't we, Mary Lee?
652
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:23,770
Betsy, there was one time
when Mary Lee and I...
653
00:34:26,607 --> 00:34:28,937
Well, I guess
that's all water under the bridge, huh?
654
00:34:29,610 --> 00:34:32,490
Why don't we go in the living room
and try to make ourselves comfortable?
655
00:34:32,571 --> 00:34:34,031
Yes, let's.
656
00:34:34,615 --> 00:34:36,885
Betsy, why didn't you
tell me there was a surprise for dinner?
657
00:34:36,909 --> 00:34:39,659
Well, I hadn't exactly
planned it this way.
658
00:34:39,703 --> 00:34:42,663
Well, uh, Desiree was back in town,
and I said to myself,
659
00:34:42,748 --> 00:34:44,998
"Shelby, how about
a grand reunion?"
660
00:34:45,501 --> 00:34:48,711
As the poet said,
"Is not old wine the wholesomest,
661
00:34:48,796 --> 00:34:51,006
"old pippins the most toothsome?
662
00:34:51,048 --> 00:34:53,008
"Old wood burns brightest,
663
00:34:53,050 --> 00:34:55,220
"and old friends are surely the best."
664
00:34:55,803 --> 00:34:57,183
A lovely thought.
665
00:34:57,262 --> 00:35:00,022
Mmm, yes.
That's très continental.
666
00:35:03,143 --> 00:35:06,773
It's so interesting seeing
the kind of girl Ned married.
667
00:35:07,397 --> 00:35:09,437
Why, you and I aren't
the same type at all.
668
00:35:09,608 --> 00:35:11,568
Oh, what type would you
say I am, Desiree?
669
00:35:11,944 --> 00:35:12,954
Well...
670
00:35:13,028 --> 00:35:15,198
A funny thing happened
out in the lab today...
671
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:19,030
We're so different, you and I.
I'm the gay, irrepressible madcap
672
00:35:19,118 --> 00:35:20,698
flitting from flower to flower,
673
00:35:20,786 --> 00:35:24,406
and you're the nice,
sensible little homemaker.
674
00:35:24,498 --> 00:35:27,918
N'est-Ce pas?
675
00:35:28,168 --> 00:35:31,708
The wonderful thing about Betsy is,
she combines beauty with brains.
676
00:35:31,797 --> 00:35:34,337
- Well, I'll drink to that.
- So will I.
677
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,300
I think Betsy's sweet.
678
00:35:36,385 --> 00:35:38,885
I think she's just as sweet
as she can be.
679
00:35:38,971 --> 00:35:40,221
Thank you.
680
00:35:42,516 --> 00:35:44,636
You know, I don't think you
realize how lucky you are.
681
00:35:45,435 --> 00:35:47,805
I had to go through three marriages
before I realized
682
00:35:47,896 --> 00:35:50,316
that Ned was the kind of man
I was looking for all along.
683
00:35:50,691 --> 00:35:51,821
Oh, is that so?
684
00:35:51,900 --> 00:35:54,780
Sometimes I get all choked up inside
thinking of it.
685
00:35:54,862 --> 00:35:58,032
Imagine going all the way
to the other side of the world
686
00:35:58,073 --> 00:36:00,743
when the bluebird of happiness
was here all along.
687
00:36:00,826 --> 00:36:02,656
Oh, I'm sorry, Desiree.
688
00:36:02,870 --> 00:36:05,080
Still, it's nice to know
I've done the right thing.
689
00:36:05,497 --> 00:36:06,497
Yes.
690
00:36:06,748 --> 00:36:10,038
Poor, brave child.
I wish things were going better for her.
691
00:36:10,586 --> 00:36:11,666
What do you mean?
692
00:36:11,753 --> 00:36:14,593
Come now, Brainard.
There's no reason to pretend with us.
693
00:36:14,673 --> 00:36:17,593
Everyone knows Medfield College
is about to go down the drain.
694
00:36:17,718 --> 00:36:18,758
Where does that leave you?
695
00:36:18,844 --> 00:36:19,854
What's it to you?
696
00:36:19,928 --> 00:36:21,468
It so happens I have just been made
697
00:36:21,555 --> 00:36:23,765
Head of the English department
of Rutland College.
698
00:36:23,807 --> 00:36:26,477
It's a very complex and demanding job.
699
00:36:26,602 --> 00:36:28,772
I'd like to ask Betsy
to become my assistant.
700
00:36:29,229 --> 00:36:32,229
That's terribly kind of you,
and very flattering.
701
00:36:32,274 --> 00:36:33,534
Well, you can just forget it.
702
00:36:33,609 --> 00:36:35,239
Now, let's have no foolish pride.
703
00:36:35,277 --> 00:36:37,317
- I said let's forget it.
- Just a minute, Ned.
704
00:36:37,696 --> 00:36:40,446
If you don't mind, I'd like
a chance to express myself.
705
00:36:40,574 --> 00:36:42,874
Another thing, old man, I can
probably use my influence
706
00:36:42,951 --> 00:36:45,121
to get you some instructor's job.
707
00:36:45,162 --> 00:36:46,912
Don't bother to do me any favors.
708
00:36:46,955 --> 00:36:50,375
Ned I didn't say I was going
to take the position. All I said was...
709
00:36:50,459 --> 00:36:52,459
Betsy, no wife of mine
is going to work,
710
00:36:52,502 --> 00:36:54,842
not as long as I have
a spark of life left in my body.
711
00:36:54,922 --> 00:36:56,972
That is an absurdly
old-fashioned attitude.
712
00:36:57,007 --> 00:36:58,507
Well that's what I like about Nuzzie.
713
00:36:58,634 --> 00:37:00,974
I just adore old-fashioned men.
714
00:37:01,470 --> 00:37:03,930
Could I have an onion instead
of an olive this time?
715
00:37:03,972 --> 00:37:05,562
You'll find some in the icebox.
716
00:37:05,641 --> 00:37:07,771
- Excuse me.
- Oh.
717
00:37:09,061 --> 00:37:11,401
You're so much better for him
than I am.
718
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:13,730
If I'd married him,
I would have just spoiled him rotten.
719
00:37:16,026 --> 00:37:18,026
You shouldn't
take it this way, Brainard.
720
00:37:18,111 --> 00:37:19,781
There's nothing to be
ashamed of.
721
00:37:19,821 --> 00:37:21,321
After all, what are friends for?
722
00:37:21,365 --> 00:37:23,509
Look, just where do you get
the idea that we're supposed to be
723
00:37:23,533 --> 00:37:24,873
starving to death around here?
724
00:37:25,327 --> 00:37:28,037
Okay, so the Flubber deal
has stalled in Washington temporarily,
725
00:37:28,538 --> 00:37:31,038
but I've got something going
on in that garage out there...
726
00:37:31,458 --> 00:37:33,628
Well, it can make a man
wealthy a dozen times over.
727
00:37:33,961 --> 00:37:36,261
Hold tight, Humph.
Here we go.
728
00:37:52,271 --> 00:37:56,021
Biff! Biff!
Biff, help me!
729
00:37:56,066 --> 00:37:58,526
Hang on, Humph.
Just a little trouble with the valve.
730
00:37:59,194 --> 00:38:00,994
Please, Biff.
Get me outta here, Biff!
731
00:38:01,113 --> 00:38:03,033
Biff! Come on.
Get me outta here!
732
00:38:03,490 --> 00:38:04,620
I don't wish to pry,
733
00:38:04,700 --> 00:38:07,740
but may I inquire what
this marvelous new discovery is?
734
00:38:08,036 --> 00:38:10,456
It's a revolutionary concept
in weather control.
735
00:38:10,539 --> 00:38:11,749
Weather control.
736
00:38:11,832 --> 00:38:14,252
That's right. It'll effect
people all over the world.
737
00:38:14,918 --> 00:38:16,479
And its commercial
possibilities are endless.
738
00:38:16,503 --> 00:38:19,883
May I ask how it works?
Or is it still in the visionary stage?
739
00:38:20,048 --> 00:38:21,838
It is not in the visionary stage.
740
00:38:21,883 --> 00:38:23,723
I bombard the clouds
with a technique
741
00:38:23,802 --> 00:38:25,802
I am not at the moment
at liberty to divulge.
742
00:38:26,722 --> 00:38:28,682
Oh, I see.
743
00:38:29,558 --> 00:38:31,138
Biff!
744
00:38:32,936 --> 00:38:35,396
Biff!
745
00:38:35,939 --> 00:38:37,689
Biff!
746
00:38:39,401 --> 00:38:42,571
You bombard the clouds with people.
That is original thinking.
747
00:38:45,574 --> 00:38:48,334
Biff!
748
00:38:52,247 --> 00:38:54,037
Who's there?
749
00:38:54,082 --> 00:38:56,212
Humphrey, are you all right?
750
00:38:56,251 --> 00:38:58,131
Well, I don't know.
751
00:38:58,211 --> 00:39:01,471
Who's there? Answer
or I'll blast you to ribbons.
752
00:39:01,965 --> 00:39:04,545
It's all right, Mr. Hummel.
Nobody in here but us chickens.
753
00:39:04,593 --> 00:39:06,433
Oh!
754
00:39:16,605 --> 00:39:19,355
Dinner's ready when you are.
755
00:39:39,503 --> 00:39:42,513
- Hi, Prof. How's it goin'?
- Fine. Fine.
756
00:39:42,589 --> 00:39:44,719
You know, I found out
one thing yesterday.
757
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:47,320
Flubber gas has a certain
antagonizing effect on the atmosphere.
758
00:39:47,386 --> 00:39:48,386
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
759
00:39:48,470 --> 00:39:50,310
And today I'm really going to stir it up.
760
00:39:50,972 --> 00:39:52,682
I'm looking for big game today.
761
00:39:54,309 --> 00:39:56,139
Like that big, fat cloud out there.
762
00:39:59,523 --> 00:40:01,483
Come on, Humph.
Let's get suited up.
763
00:40:01,525 --> 00:40:03,365
You're not gonna shoot me
out the garage again?
764
00:40:03,443 --> 00:40:05,203
Will you stop worrying so much?
765
00:40:05,821 --> 00:40:08,121
Well, why couldn't you test
the suit with a chimpanzee?
766
00:40:08,156 --> 00:40:10,486
Are you kidding?
Those animals cost money.
767
00:40:10,575 --> 00:40:15,035
Now, let's see.
I'd say distance about three miles.
768
00:40:15,789 --> 00:40:18,669
Might be a little far, but we'll take
a crack at it anyway, hey, Charlie?
769
00:40:19,209 --> 00:40:22,839
Maybe give 'em a little rain over in
Lincoln County. They need it there too.
770
00:40:24,297 --> 00:40:25,627
All right.
771
00:40:26,341 --> 00:40:27,681
Switch on.
772
00:40:28,969 --> 00:40:31,509
Relax, Charlie.
You won't take the rap this time.
773
00:40:32,514 --> 00:40:33,934
All right, here we go.
774
00:40:34,015 --> 00:40:36,765
Ready. Aim.
775
00:40:37,686 --> 00:40:38,686
Fire.
776
00:40:52,617 --> 00:40:54,737
♪ It isn't raining rain
you know
777
00:40:54,828 --> 00:40:57,208
♪ It's raining Flubber gas ♪
778
00:41:02,961 --> 00:41:06,591
Hmm. Smells like rain.
Better get my umbrella.
779
00:41:09,468 --> 00:41:11,048
Nothing.
780
00:41:11,887 --> 00:41:15,017
All right.
We'll pour on a little more juice.
781
00:41:18,185 --> 00:41:20,015
Now...
782
00:41:20,061 --> 00:41:22,061
Come on now, cloud.
783
00:41:23,607 --> 00:41:25,227
Cry a little.
784
00:41:27,402 --> 00:41:30,742
Maybe we're going to have
a change in the weather, dear.
785
00:41:30,780 --> 00:41:33,740
Yes. The barometer's real...
786
00:41:47,797 --> 00:41:50,547
Nothing, Charlie. Just nothing.
787
00:41:52,594 --> 00:41:53,894
What have we got to lose?
788
00:41:53,929 --> 00:41:56,009
Why don't we turn up full power
and see what happens?
789
00:42:01,937 --> 00:42:03,767
Yeah. What have we got to lose?
790
00:42:12,447 --> 00:42:14,217
- Well, you can't blame Betsy.
- Thank you, sir.
791
00:42:14,241 --> 00:42:16,951
How would you feel having to live
in the same house with that nut?
792
00:42:29,464 --> 00:42:31,844
Oh, no! No!
793
00:43:23,685 --> 00:43:26,605
Well, we didn't get much rain
out of that one, did we, Charlie?
794
00:43:27,022 --> 00:43:29,522
Well, here comes another one.
795
00:43:33,111 --> 00:43:36,031
Oh, yes, such a lovely piece,
Mrs. Brainard.
796
00:43:36,072 --> 00:43:38,702
I just don't see how you can
bring yourself to sell it.
797
00:43:38,783 --> 00:43:41,703
Well, a little extra money
around the house comes in handy.
798
00:43:41,745 --> 00:43:43,615
A professor's wife, you understand.
799
00:43:43,705 --> 00:43:47,205
Yes, well, under the circumstances,
I think I can accommodate you.
800
00:43:47,292 --> 00:43:48,542
Let's see.
801
00:43:48,627 --> 00:43:50,957
There's 40, 60...
802
00:44:02,599 --> 00:44:04,729
Broken windows?
803
00:44:04,809 --> 00:44:07,099
No, I haven't seen anything
like that around here.
804
00:44:07,187 --> 00:44:09,267
Just stay on the ball out there.
805
00:44:09,356 --> 00:44:11,066
Sure, Captain. Sure.
806
00:44:17,113 --> 00:44:21,873
Hanson, Kelly! Somebody answer me!
807
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:28,960
Hanson! I hear water!
808
00:44:29,668 --> 00:44:32,958
It's all right, Captain.
We're just gettin' the car washed.
809
00:44:34,756 --> 00:44:37,296
No, no, no! We don't pay off on that!
810
00:44:37,384 --> 00:44:40,224
Nobody, but nobody,
puts anything over on Alonzo P. Hawk.
811
00:44:40,595 --> 00:44:44,095
Quiet back there. I'm on the phone.
Read the small print!
812
00:44:44,182 --> 00:44:45,932
Hold on.
813
00:44:46,434 --> 00:44:50,234
Now look. If the glass broke,
you were probably negligent.
814
00:44:50,271 --> 00:44:53,111
The Auld Lang Syne does not
pay off on negligence, friend.
815
00:44:53,149 --> 00:44:55,109
And that goes for all of ya!
816
00:45:09,874 --> 00:45:11,884
Well, nothing.
817
00:45:13,294 --> 00:45:15,004
Absolutely nothing.
818
00:45:19,843 --> 00:45:21,763
You can come out now, Charlie.
819
00:45:25,849 --> 00:45:28,139
Well, Charlie, maybe I was wrong.
820
00:45:29,269 --> 00:45:31,809
Maybe there was nothing
to the idea after all.
821
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:36,070
It won't be the first time
we've struck out, will it?
822
00:45:37,026 --> 00:45:40,526
- Hey, where do we put this stuff?
- Our test site's over here.
823
00:45:40,613 --> 00:45:42,823
You know, I sure appreciate
you guys helping us out.
824
00:45:42,866 --> 00:45:45,026
What are we doing here?
What's the big secret?
825
00:45:45,118 --> 00:45:46,908
You'll find out soon enough.
826
00:45:47,829 --> 00:45:50,669
Or maybe the cloud was just
too far away, Charlie.
827
00:45:51,291 --> 00:45:53,711
Rainmakers have always
run into that same old snag.
828
00:45:53,793 --> 00:45:56,173
Clouds are either too far away
or no clouds at all.
829
00:45:57,338 --> 00:46:00,018
If we could just have clouds when and
where we needed them, maybe...
830
00:46:03,261 --> 00:46:05,561
Wait a minute, Charlie.
831
00:46:05,638 --> 00:46:07,768
I made that little teakettle cloud rain by
832
00:46:07,849 --> 00:46:09,729
bombarding it with a Flubber gas beam,
833
00:46:10,268 --> 00:46:12,398
and disorganizing the moisture pattern.
834
00:46:13,354 --> 00:46:15,824
Would it be possible to make a cloud
835
00:46:15,857 --> 00:46:17,437
by working in reverse?
836
00:46:18,276 --> 00:46:20,254
Naturally, it couldn't be anything
as simple as just
837
00:46:20,278 --> 00:46:22,408
reversing the polarity of the gas.
838
00:46:23,406 --> 00:46:24,816
Or could it?
839
00:46:25,700 --> 00:46:27,330
Could it, Charlie?
840
00:46:28,244 --> 00:46:29,954
Let's find out.
841
00:46:31,122 --> 00:46:33,082
Now we'll reverse the polarity
842
00:46:35,585 --> 00:46:37,295
and see what happens.
843
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:40,680
Oh, something's happening,
all right, Charlie.
844
00:46:42,008 --> 00:46:43,798
Something's really happening.
845
00:46:44,344 --> 00:46:46,604
And the N-402s don't even seem to care.
846
00:46:47,305 --> 00:46:49,055
Now, let's see.
847
00:46:50,809 --> 00:46:52,729
I reversed the polarity.
848
00:46:52,811 --> 00:46:56,231
Now, this must have integrated
the vaporific forces
849
00:46:56,314 --> 00:46:58,864
and promoted the coalescence
of the interatomic junctures.
850
00:47:05,907 --> 00:47:08,077
Nuzzie?
Is that you, darling?
851
00:47:08,827 --> 00:47:12,537
Desiree here. Hello? Nuzzie?
852
00:47:13,957 --> 00:47:15,577
Hello, Desiree.
853
00:47:15,667 --> 00:47:18,127
Poor lamb.
854
00:47:18,211 --> 00:47:20,961
You sound as if you have a terrible cold.
855
00:47:21,047 --> 00:47:24,217
Isn't that nice little wife
of yours taking proper care of you?
856
00:47:24,259 --> 00:47:27,759
You know, overshoes
and all that sort of thing.
857
00:47:28,471 --> 00:47:31,521
- What do you want, Desiree?
- Well, lover, I just wanted to be sure
858
00:47:31,599 --> 00:47:34,439
you hadn't forgotten
our little get-together tomorrow.
859
00:47:34,519 --> 00:47:36,599
- Get...
- Get-together?
860
00:47:36,646 --> 00:47:39,936
Well, of course, dearest. We arranged it
when I saw you yesterday.
861
00:47:41,651 --> 00:47:43,151
Oh, yes. Yesterday.
862
00:47:43,278 --> 00:47:45,608
Well, très bon, chéri.
863
00:47:45,947 --> 00:47:48,447
And I'll see you around eightish?
864
00:47:49,617 --> 00:47:50,907
Hugs and kisses.
865
00:47:51,369 --> 00:47:53,119
Arrivederci.
866
00:47:54,497 --> 00:47:57,127
Well, that puts the tin hat on it!
867
00:48:05,925 --> 00:48:09,595
DP, P, plus, minus and G.
868
00:48:09,637 --> 00:48:11,807
GT, DH.
869
00:48:53,514 --> 00:48:57,814
Great jumping Jupiter Pluvius!
We've made our own cloud!
870
00:48:57,852 --> 00:49:00,562
And it's raining! It's raining!
871
00:49:00,647 --> 00:49:03,227
It's raining! Charlie, it's raining!
872
00:49:03,316 --> 00:49:06,276
And it's our rain, Charlie,
made from our own cloud!
873
00:49:06,361 --> 00:49:08,281
Taste it. Isn't it wonderful?
874
00:49:08,363 --> 00:49:11,203
Oh, my notes.
I don't want to lose them.
875
00:49:11,240 --> 00:49:14,450
Now I know how
those Texas oil fellas feel
876
00:49:14,535 --> 00:49:16,245
when a gusher comes in.
877
00:49:17,830 --> 00:49:19,870
Isn't it wonderful, Charlie?
878
00:49:20,625 --> 00:49:21,915
Where's my pen?
879
00:49:23,378 --> 00:49:25,628
It's really comin' down.
880
00:49:26,005 --> 00:49:29,215
Hey, come on, Biff. What gives?
You know, this isn't the first time
881
00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:31,970
we've been roped in on some
half-baked idea of yours.
882
00:49:32,053 --> 00:49:35,393
You know, it wasn't my idea entirely.
The professor's in on this too.
883
00:49:35,473 --> 00:49:36,659
- The prof is?
- Just as good as.
884
00:49:36,683 --> 00:49:38,035
He checked the whole thing out with me.
885
00:49:38,059 --> 00:49:41,269
Why didn't you say so? That's different.
'Cause if the prof says it's okay...
886
00:49:41,354 --> 00:49:43,614
♪ Raining you know it's raining ♪
887
00:49:44,232 --> 00:49:45,322
Betsy!
888
00:49:47,151 --> 00:49:48,651
Betsy!
889
00:49:53,658 --> 00:49:57,248
Betsy! Betsy, I made a cloud,
and I made it rain.
890
00:49:57,286 --> 00:49:59,576
It's bad luck to open
an umbrella in the house.
891
00:49:59,664 --> 00:50:02,464
"How," you say, "did you make
this cloud, you genius you?"
892
00:50:02,542 --> 00:50:04,592
And I say, "Just the way nature
herself does it,
893
00:50:04,669 --> 00:50:06,349
"out of the moisture
in the air around us."
894
00:50:06,379 --> 00:50:09,469
Of course, it's been going on right under
our noses for thousands of years,
895
00:50:09,549 --> 00:50:11,360
but the question was,
how does she do it? Well...
896
00:50:11,384 --> 00:50:13,434
Speaking of things going on
under our noses,
897
00:50:13,469 --> 00:50:15,259
have you been seeing
Desiree De la Roche?
898
00:50:15,346 --> 00:50:17,556
I may have bumped into her
a couple of times.
899
00:50:17,598 --> 00:50:18,678
She phoned a while ago,
900
00:50:18,766 --> 00:50:21,346
mentioned something about
a little get-together tomorrow night.
901
00:50:21,436 --> 00:50:24,106
- Said that you'd know all about it.
- Said I'd know all about it?
902
00:50:24,188 --> 00:50:26,917
Why, I haven't the... Wait a minute.
There was some talk about a party.
903
00:50:26,941 --> 00:50:29,031
- I think it was for Halloween.
- Ha!
904
00:50:29,110 --> 00:50:31,714
I was on my way home from class, and
she just happened to be driving by...
905
00:50:31,738 --> 00:50:34,068
Women like Desiree never
happen to do anything.
906
00:50:34,115 --> 00:50:35,235
What?
907
00:50:35,283 --> 00:50:38,543
If I wasn't such a sweet,
innocent-minded little wife,
908
00:50:38,619 --> 00:50:41,789
I'd say that woman was trying
to get her hooks into you again.
909
00:50:41,873 --> 00:50:43,753
Now, Betsy, that isn't worthy of you.
910
00:50:43,791 --> 00:50:47,131
Mary Lee... I mean, Desiree,
just isn't that kind of a girl.
911
00:50:47,295 --> 00:50:52,005
Do me a personal favor and
stop calling that woman a girl!
912
00:50:52,091 --> 00:50:55,091
Well, anyway, underneath all that
glamour and gaiety and intelligence
913
00:50:55,136 --> 00:50:57,096
is really a simple, kind-hearted person.
914
00:50:57,138 --> 00:50:59,018
You bet.
915
00:50:59,140 --> 00:51:02,100
Betsy, I hate to say this,
but I've noticed a change in you lately.
916
00:51:02,310 --> 00:51:04,810
It all seemed to start the night that
sneak Shelby Ashton
917
00:51:04,896 --> 00:51:06,936
came over and here offered you that job.
918
00:51:06,981 --> 00:51:10,441
I told you I didn't want that job,
but I'm beginning to change my mind.
919
00:51:10,485 --> 00:51:13,195
Betsy, I'm not a fussy man, but when
that Ashton comes over here
920
00:51:13,321 --> 00:51:15,758
and starts buttering you up
with that guff about "beauty plus brains".
921
00:51:15,782 --> 00:51:16,782
Oh!
922
00:51:16,824 --> 00:51:20,244
And as far as you're concerned,
there's not a word of truth in it, right?
923
00:51:20,328 --> 00:51:22,708
I didn't say that,
but anybody that would listen to
924
00:51:22,789 --> 00:51:24,869
what that pretentious
pipsqueak has to say...
925
00:51:24,957 --> 00:51:26,997
Oh, Ned, let's not quarrel.
926
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:30,550
- Betsy, are you going somewhere?
- Yes, I am, Ned.
927
00:51:30,630 --> 00:51:33,550
You see, I have a problem.
I love you.
928
00:51:33,674 --> 00:51:36,394
If it weren't for that,
I'd know exactly what to do.
929
00:51:36,969 --> 00:51:38,549
Betsy, you're not leaving!
930
00:51:38,638 --> 00:51:41,308
Yes, I'm going somewhere
where I can think clearly.
931
00:51:41,349 --> 00:51:44,269
- Think clearly? About what?
- About you and Desiree.
932
00:51:44,352 --> 00:51:47,272
Desiree doesn't mean anything to me,
Betsy. I don't mean anything to her.
933
00:51:47,355 --> 00:51:49,124
Oh, really? Well, you should've
heard her on the phone
934
00:51:49,148 --> 00:51:50,708
when she thought
she was talking to you.
935
00:51:50,775 --> 00:51:54,695
Everything was "darling," "sweetie,"
"lover," "chéri, " "hugs and kisses"!
936
00:51:54,737 --> 00:51:57,341
But, Betsy, that's just her way.
She's a very outgoing personality.
937
00:51:57,365 --> 00:52:00,785
Well, say good-bye to another
outgoing personality.
938
00:52:00,868 --> 00:52:02,538
Betsy, you're not leaving this house!
939
00:52:02,620 --> 00:52:03,931
Ned, I'm going to the Daggetts'
for a few days.
940
00:52:03,955 --> 00:52:04,955
Betsy.
941
00:52:05,081 --> 00:52:09,381
I don't know when and if I'll be back.
I just have to think calmly and logically.
942
00:52:09,460 --> 00:52:12,340
Betsy, you can't go anyplace.
What did you do to our car?
943
00:52:12,380 --> 00:52:15,050
I didn't do anything to it.
And don't change the subject.
944
00:52:15,133 --> 00:52:16,433
I'm going to the Daggetts'.
945
00:52:16,509 --> 00:52:18,109
Please, Betsy, can't we reason this out?
946
00:52:18,177 --> 00:52:20,967
No, because a strange thing
has happened to me.
947
00:52:21,055 --> 00:52:23,659
Desiree De la Roche may or may not be
the sweetest girl in the world,
948
00:52:23,683 --> 00:52:25,353
but I'll tell you one thing,
949
00:52:25,393 --> 00:52:29,903
every time I hear her name I get
awfully, awfully, awfully, awfully angry.
950
00:52:29,939 --> 00:52:33,229
But, Betsy, you're not
being very logical about this.
951
00:52:38,906 --> 00:52:41,866
Hey, what I don't get is,
how come no pads behind Humphrey?
952
00:52:41,993 --> 00:52:44,333
Humph doesn't need 'em.
He'll come smashing into you,
953
00:52:44,412 --> 00:52:45,752
you guys'll go bouncing back,
954
00:52:45,830 --> 00:52:48,080
and ol' Humph is gonna keep
right on goin', right, Humph?
955
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,630
- I guess so.
- Okay, Humph, it's your neck.
956
00:52:51,711 --> 00:52:52,961
Ready, you guys?
957
00:52:54,255 --> 00:52:56,795
Ready, humph? One, two, hike!
958
00:52:56,883 --> 00:52:57,933
Oof!
959
00:53:08,769 --> 00:53:11,479
Who's in there?
Answer or I'll blast ya!
960
00:53:34,420 --> 00:53:36,090
That's it. I've had it. I quit.
961
00:53:36,130 --> 00:53:38,770
Look, after all you've been through,
you're not gonna turn chicken.
962
00:53:38,799 --> 00:53:40,259
I already did.
963
00:53:49,518 --> 00:53:51,978
You'd better answer it, Mrs. Daggett.
964
00:53:52,021 --> 00:53:56,691
That poor man has phoned a half-dozen
times today. I'm tired of stalling him.
965
00:53:56,776 --> 00:53:58,986
What's the matter? Afraid to talk to him?
966
00:53:59,612 --> 00:54:02,952
Why doesn't somebody pick up
that phone? Or is it contaminated?
967
00:54:02,990 --> 00:54:05,590
And would you come in and help me
with my hair, if you don't mind?
968
00:54:10,998 --> 00:54:12,458
Ja?
969
00:54:13,334 --> 00:54:15,004
Is this the, uh, Daggett residence?
970
00:54:15,044 --> 00:54:17,554
- Ja.
- Well, who's this?
971
00:54:18,547 --> 00:54:21,467
This Hulda Christoffsen.
972
00:54:21,509 --> 00:54:24,259
I think. New maid, by golly.
973
00:54:24,595 --> 00:54:26,215
Oh. Well, Hulda,
974
00:54:26,305 --> 00:54:28,765
may I speak to Mrs. Brainard, please?
It's very important.
975
00:54:29,100 --> 00:54:31,600
Miss Betsy not here.
976
00:54:31,686 --> 00:54:36,356
She been sittin' around
all day cryin' like heart would break.
977
00:54:36,816 --> 00:54:38,726
She been gone out tonight.
978
00:54:39,026 --> 00:54:41,276
Gone out? Do you know where?
979
00:54:41,696 --> 00:54:44,736
She invited many parties.
980
00:54:44,824 --> 00:54:46,874
Very popular, I think.
981
00:54:46,951 --> 00:54:49,331
Look very pretty, by Jiminy.
982
00:54:49,370 --> 00:54:52,290
- Look beautiful.
- Oh?
983
00:54:52,665 --> 00:54:55,375
You been gone out tonight, too?
984
00:54:56,043 --> 00:54:58,213
You have lady friend too, Ja?
985
00:54:58,546 --> 00:55:00,506
No, I been sit home alone.
986
00:55:00,631 --> 00:55:03,131
Friendless, hungry.
There's nothing to eat in the house.
987
00:55:03,759 --> 00:55:05,719
- Good!
- What?
988
00:55:05,845 --> 00:55:07,925
I think I hang up now.
989
00:55:12,268 --> 00:55:14,598
"Gone out."
"Look beautiful."
990
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:19,190
As far as she's concerned,
I could starve to death.
991
00:55:19,233 --> 00:55:21,653
There must be something
to eat in this house.
992
00:55:27,658 --> 00:55:29,158
Soap.
993
00:55:34,749 --> 00:55:36,579
Dandy. For dogs.
994
00:55:43,090 --> 00:55:45,760
Wheat flour, whole milk,
soybean meal, dried fish.
995
00:55:45,801 --> 00:55:47,181
Hmm!
996
00:56:03,778 --> 00:56:05,068
Sorry, Charlie.
997
00:56:14,705 --> 00:56:17,955
Mmm. Candy.
Not good for little dogs, Charlie.
998
00:56:25,466 --> 00:56:27,546
Trick or treat, Professor!
999
00:56:27,635 --> 00:56:30,595
Oh, I'm sorry fellas.
There's just not a thing in the house.
1000
00:56:30,638 --> 00:56:32,638
Trick or treat.
1001
00:56:34,809 --> 00:56:36,519
Except these chocolates.
1002
00:56:40,147 --> 00:56:41,687
They look stale.
1003
00:56:41,941 --> 00:56:43,627
Yes, they do look
a little stale, don't they?
1004
00:56:43,651 --> 00:56:46,401
- I'll tell you, if you don't want them...
- Yes, we do.
1005
00:56:54,662 --> 00:56:57,962
Hey, that's some crazy radiator cap
the professor's got there.
1006
00:56:57,998 --> 00:57:00,788
Yeah. Guess he's goin' out to make
some field studies with it.
1007
00:57:00,835 --> 00:57:03,313
As a matter of fact, I thought I might
go out tonight after dinner.
1008
00:57:03,337 --> 00:57:05,377
Hi, Prof. By the way,
have you fellas eaten?
1009
00:57:05,756 --> 00:57:06,796
No!
1010
00:57:06,841 --> 00:57:09,641
Well, science marches on, but
not on an empty stomach, huh?
1011
00:57:09,844 --> 00:57:11,854
Why don't we go out
and have a nice, hot dinner?
1012
00:57:11,929 --> 00:57:13,259
- Great! I'm starving.
- Yeah!
1013
00:57:13,347 --> 00:57:15,017
Does anybody have any money?
1014
00:57:15,516 --> 00:57:17,494
Oh, I'm sorry, Prof,
but the hot water bottles didn't work,
1015
00:57:17,518 --> 00:57:20,018
and we had to blow
every cent we had on the scuba suit.
1016
00:57:20,104 --> 00:57:22,999
God, I wish we were invited to one of
those Halloween parties around here.
1017
00:57:23,023 --> 00:57:24,863
I bet they got lots of eats.
1018
00:57:25,151 --> 00:57:28,361
Wait a minute! I was invited to
a Halloween party at Desiree's house.
1019
00:57:28,571 --> 00:57:32,371
Now, let's see. Help me get that
old trunk off of the shelf, huh?
1020
00:57:32,658 --> 00:57:34,078
But how 'bout Humph and me?
1021
00:57:34,160 --> 00:57:36,620
Don't you worry.
We're all going to get something to eat.
1022
00:57:36,704 --> 00:57:38,044
Open that side.
1023
00:57:38,706 --> 00:57:42,036
Now I'll go in first, and then you fellas
come along later and ring the doorbell.
1024
00:57:42,126 --> 00:57:44,036
We'll arrange some kind of a signal.
1025
00:57:44,086 --> 00:57:46,456
And then... Here's my old coonskin coat.
1026
00:57:46,881 --> 00:57:48,221
My old hat.
1027
00:58:32,635 --> 00:58:34,925
Just a little something
in case I get hungry later.
1028
00:58:34,970 --> 00:58:35,970
Yes, sir.
1029
00:58:39,808 --> 00:58:41,598
Two longs and a short. That's it.
1030
00:58:43,604 --> 00:58:46,614
Oh, pardon me. I'll get it.
1031
00:58:48,567 --> 00:58:50,857
- Boo!
- Well, a couple of ghosts!
1032
00:58:50,945 --> 00:58:52,105
Trick or treat!
1033
00:58:52,154 --> 00:58:54,284
Well, we don't want any tricks
around here, do we?
1034
00:58:54,365 --> 00:58:56,735
- Here's some nice popcorn.
- Oh, boy! Popcorn!
1035
00:58:56,784 --> 00:58:58,794
- Potato chips.
- I like potato chips!
1036
00:58:58,827 --> 00:59:01,407
- And some chicken.
- Chicken! I want a drumstick.
1037
00:59:02,581 --> 00:59:05,461
Well, Brainard. Aren't you going to ask
the little folk to step inside?
1038
00:59:05,668 --> 00:59:07,918
- Come on, kiddies.
- Jiggers!
1039
00:59:09,588 --> 00:59:12,548
Well! How do you like those big lugs
pretending they're children?
1040
00:59:12,633 --> 00:59:14,053
I'll go and have a talk with them.
1041
00:59:14,134 --> 00:59:17,934
Nuzzie! So nice that
you could get here.
1042
00:59:18,097 --> 00:59:21,347
There's a tub of martinis in here,
and everybody's bobbing for olives.
1043
00:59:22,184 --> 00:59:25,734
It's just terrific that you
brought your saxophone.
1044
00:59:25,813 --> 00:59:26,813
Oh, well...
1045
00:59:27,314 --> 00:59:29,984
Boys, I'd like you to meet
the finest saxophone player
1046
00:59:30,067 --> 00:59:31,737
in the history of Medfield High School.
1047
00:59:31,819 --> 00:59:34,989
- Well, I wouldn't say that.
- You were, too! Now go on, Nuzzie. Play.
1048
00:59:35,114 --> 00:59:36,374
Well, I don't think I'd better.
1049
00:59:36,782 --> 00:59:39,372
Come on, lover, join right in.
It'll be just like old times.
1050
00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:43,000
Well, if you fellas don't mind.
1051
00:59:49,795 --> 00:59:54,255
The same sweet clown. I'm so glad
to see that girl hasn't changed you.
1052
00:59:54,341 --> 00:59:56,221
I don't know whether
I should have come.
1053
00:59:56,302 --> 00:59:59,102
Nonsense, my dear.
A bit of gaiety will do you good.
1054
00:59:59,597 --> 01:00:01,137
- Good evening.
- Good evening, sir.
1055
01:00:01,181 --> 01:00:04,061
- Good evening, madam.
- I feel guilty about Ned.
1056
01:00:04,560 --> 01:00:06,230
He's so helpless all by himself.
1057
01:00:06,312 --> 01:00:08,192
Excuse me, my dear.
Hello, Frederick.
1058
01:00:09,023 --> 01:00:11,533
- May I take your coat, madam?
- Oh, yes. Thank you.
1059
01:00:25,539 --> 01:00:28,709
- Betsy! So nice to see you.
- Excuse me, please!
1060
01:00:28,751 --> 01:00:31,251
How lovely you are when you're angry.
Is anything the matter?
1061
01:00:31,712 --> 01:00:33,552
Betsy! What in the world
are you doing here?
1062
01:00:33,631 --> 01:00:36,971
I might ask the same thing of you.
In fact, I think I will.
1063
01:00:37,051 --> 01:00:38,551
Here I was feeling sorry for you
1064
01:00:38,636 --> 01:00:40,556
because I thought you were home
alone and hungry.
1065
01:00:40,596 --> 01:00:44,266
Well, I was. But there is an instinct
called self-preservation, you know.
1066
01:00:44,350 --> 01:00:46,036
Under certain conditions
even the lowest form
1067
01:00:46,060 --> 01:00:47,495
of animal life will go searching for food.
1068
01:00:47,519 --> 01:00:49,059
Very aptly put.
1069
01:00:49,313 --> 01:00:51,233
Look, Neptune,
why don't you just submerge?
1070
01:00:51,315 --> 01:00:54,145
Ned, there is no reason
for any of that. I'm leaving!
1071
01:00:54,485 --> 01:00:55,895
Betsy, I want to talk to you.
1072
01:00:55,986 --> 01:00:58,526
There is nothing for you and me
to say to one another!
1073
01:00:58,572 --> 01:01:00,202
Shelby, would you
take me home, please?
1074
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:02,552
You see, Brainard, you've already
spoiled the party for her.
1075
01:01:02,576 --> 01:01:05,388
- Now why don't you leave Betsy alone?
- Ashton, if you don't stay out of this...
1076
01:01:05,412 --> 01:01:08,252
I will not have
you two fighting over me!
1077
01:01:08,332 --> 01:01:11,132
Why, Betsy!
What a perfectly darling costume!
1078
01:01:11,210 --> 01:01:12,880
Some kind of a peasant, aren't you?
1079
01:01:13,837 --> 01:01:15,127
Good night, Nuzzie.
1080
01:01:16,048 --> 01:01:18,878
- Wait, Betsy...
- Come on, Nuzzie. Back to the party.
1081
01:01:18,967 --> 01:01:20,967
- Wait, Mary Lee...
- Come on, darlin'.
1082
01:01:42,616 --> 01:01:46,326
Normally, I'm the last person in the world
to intrude upon a person's private life,
1083
01:01:46,453 --> 01:01:48,463
but when you love someone,
as I do...
1084
01:01:48,497 --> 01:01:50,037
Thank you
for bringing me home, Shelby.
1085
01:01:50,124 --> 01:01:51,794
Simply because of a headstrong,
1086
01:01:51,834 --> 01:01:56,174
impetuous marriage to a man not fit
to touch the hem of your skirt.
1087
01:01:56,296 --> 01:01:58,966
Betsy, I forgive you for what
you did to me, but...
1088
01:01:59,007 --> 01:02:02,047
Oh, Shelby. I didn't want to hurt you.
1089
01:02:02,678 --> 01:02:04,508
No, it's all right.
1090
01:02:04,596 --> 01:02:07,516
As the poet says,
"The hurt is not so deep as a well,
1091
01:02:07,975 --> 01:02:09,845
"nor so wide as a church door,
1092
01:02:10,227 --> 01:02:12,147
"but 'tis enough, 'twill serve."
1093
01:02:13,021 --> 01:02:14,651
I'm sorry, Shelby. Good night.
1094
01:02:16,525 --> 01:02:18,395
I'll ring you first thing
in the morning!
1095
01:02:48,682 --> 01:02:50,852
Okay, Charlie.
Battle stations.
1096
01:02:51,185 --> 01:02:53,935
I need a guinea pig for this experiment,
and I know just the pig.
1097
01:04:09,930 --> 01:04:12,980
Brainard!
1098
01:04:48,760 --> 01:04:52,430
Ahhh!
1099
01:05:10,657 --> 01:05:15,157
Oh, say, Captain, we want to thank you
again for this new prowl car.
1100
01:05:18,999 --> 01:05:23,169
Don't worry, Captain. This is one car
we're really gonna take care of.
1101
01:05:34,348 --> 01:05:36,888
Aww.
1102
01:05:45,943 --> 01:05:48,993
- What is it?
- I've got just the faintest ghost
1103
01:05:49,029 --> 01:05:50,859
of an idea.
1104
01:05:55,202 --> 01:05:57,252
I'm terribly sorry, Professor,
1105
01:05:57,329 --> 01:06:01,209
but did our brand-new
patrol car get in your way?
1106
01:06:01,291 --> 01:06:04,381
Officer!
It isn't my fault!
1107
01:06:04,419 --> 01:06:06,249
It's that fiend, Brainard!
1108
01:06:06,380 --> 01:06:09,930
He's up there, somewhere!
Get him! Find him!
1109
01:06:10,008 --> 01:06:12,218
Do something!
1110
01:06:14,763 --> 01:06:18,183
♪ Though April showers
may come your way ♪
1111
01:06:18,225 --> 01:06:21,645
♪ They bring the flowers
ladadadee ♪
1112
01:06:23,563 --> 01:06:27,033
Good morning, boys.
You're up early this morning.
1113
01:06:27,067 --> 01:06:29,607
Bright and early, Professor.
1114
01:06:29,903 --> 01:06:31,913
Mr. Hawk!
What are you doing here?
1115
01:06:31,947 --> 01:06:36,577
Spreading sunshine, bringing cheer
and good tidings to my fellow man.
1116
01:06:36,618 --> 01:06:39,038
Uh, may I take
the liberty, Professor?
1117
01:06:41,164 --> 01:06:45,094
Now, as you can see,
this is a map of our fair community.
1118
01:06:46,003 --> 01:06:47,213
What about it?
1119
01:06:47,254 --> 01:06:51,264
On Thursday p.m. this week,
a peculiar thing happened in Medfield.
1120
01:06:51,341 --> 01:06:54,931
Plate glass in stores,
automobile windshields,
1121
01:06:54,970 --> 01:06:59,600
bottles, clock faces, glass of every kind
and description
1122
01:06:59,641 --> 01:07:02,641
began to break and shatter in various
portions of our community.
1123
01:07:03,103 --> 01:07:06,483
This in turn brought mental anguish
and sorrow to the owners,
1124
01:07:07,024 --> 01:07:09,994
more especially to the Auld Lang Syne
Insurance Company,
1125
01:07:10,068 --> 01:07:12,608
which was left holding the bag
for all the damages.
1126
01:07:12,696 --> 01:07:14,776
But what has all this
got to do with me?
1127
01:07:15,073 --> 01:07:18,623
As president of Auld Lang Syne, I was
naturally interested in this phenomenon,
1128
01:07:18,660 --> 01:07:22,410
so I made up a kind of a war map
of the damaged areas.
1129
01:07:23,206 --> 01:07:25,876
As you see,
they formed a pattern,
1130
01:07:26,251 --> 01:07:29,051
a sort of cone-shaped pattern
of devastation,
1131
01:07:29,129 --> 01:07:32,299
as though some unseen force
had fanned out
1132
01:07:32,382 --> 01:07:35,222
from one beginning point,
1133
01:07:35,302 --> 01:07:38,812
at a place on the corner
of Maple and Litchfield.
1134
01:07:40,348 --> 01:07:41,978
Now, I may be wrong, Professor,
1135
01:07:42,059 --> 01:07:45,519
but isn't that the precise point on which
I'm standing at this very moment?
1136
01:07:46,480 --> 01:07:50,650
That's right. I heard something
about the breaking glass,
1137
01:07:50,692 --> 01:07:52,902
but I had no idea
I could have been responsible.
1138
01:07:53,320 --> 01:07:54,950
Professor, I have suffered damages
1139
01:07:54,988 --> 01:07:57,318
amounting to tens of thousands
of dollars because of you.
1140
01:07:57,824 --> 01:07:59,994
I could have you dragged off
to jail and left there.
1141
01:08:00,494 --> 01:08:03,834
But outside of making me feel good
all over, what would it get me?
1142
01:08:04,414 --> 01:08:07,504
No, the point is, I'm not sore at you
at all, Professor.
1143
01:08:08,001 --> 01:08:11,881
As a matter of fact, I take my hat
off to you.
1144
01:08:11,963 --> 01:08:13,900
Yes, sir, I think you've really
got something here
1145
01:08:13,924 --> 01:08:16,894
in this glass-breaking gizmo.
1146
01:08:17,511 --> 01:08:20,851
Why, it's pure genius.
1147
01:08:20,931 --> 01:08:24,981
While everybody else is busy making
things, you come up with the answer.
1148
01:08:25,018 --> 01:08:26,898
You come up with something
that breaks things!
1149
01:08:27,187 --> 01:08:28,607
But that wasn't the idea.
1150
01:08:28,688 --> 01:08:30,568
Okay, Brainard.
You've done your part of it.
1151
01:08:30,982 --> 01:08:33,112
Now, as your partner,
here's how we go about it.
1152
01:08:33,193 --> 01:08:36,453
Very quietly, we buy up
a lot of glass company stock,
1153
01:08:36,530 --> 01:08:38,870
slowly, so that nobody catches on.
1154
01:08:38,949 --> 01:08:41,579
Then suddenly, all over the country,
all over the world,
1155
01:08:41,660 --> 01:08:43,870
zingo!
Glass begins to break.
1156
01:08:43,912 --> 01:08:47,252
We replace it with new glass.
It breaks. We'll clean up!
1157
01:08:47,332 --> 01:08:49,632
Mr. Hawk, you don't
seem to understand. I...
1158
01:08:49,709 --> 01:08:51,959
How about that United Nations building
in New York?
1159
01:08:52,045 --> 01:08:55,085
How about all that glass, huh?
And stained glass.
1160
01:08:55,173 --> 01:08:58,643
Maybe we could organize
a quiet little corporation
1161
01:08:58,718 --> 01:09:00,968
that does nothing
but break church glass.
1162
01:09:03,098 --> 01:09:05,058
Well, what's the matter, Brainard?
1163
01:09:05,142 --> 01:09:06,786
You don't think you're gonna
freeze me out of this thing
1164
01:09:06,810 --> 01:09:08,520
like you did out of Flubber, do you?
1165
01:09:09,062 --> 01:09:11,062
Your friend, Mr. Hawk,
isn't gonna be standing
1166
01:09:11,106 --> 01:09:14,396
with a balloon in his hand watching
the parade go by this time.
1167
01:09:14,776 --> 01:09:17,066
Mr. Hawk, you don't
for one minute think
1168
01:09:17,112 --> 01:09:19,112
I'd go along with a scheme
like that, do you?
1169
01:09:19,739 --> 01:09:21,634
Well, what are you acting
so high and mighty about?
1170
01:09:21,658 --> 01:09:23,698
You invented this glass-breaker,
didn't you?
1171
01:09:23,743 --> 01:09:27,373
The glass-breaking was an unfortunate
side effect of my cloud experiment.
1172
01:09:27,414 --> 01:09:29,183
In trying to reach the cloud
with my weather gun
1173
01:09:29,207 --> 01:09:31,488
there must have been an overload
of electronic excitation,
1174
01:09:31,793 --> 01:09:34,053
which set up an inharmonic
sawtooth oscillation
1175
01:09:34,087 --> 01:09:35,667
and imparted a tremor to the gas.
1176
01:09:35,922 --> 01:09:38,067
Now, this was intercepted by the glass,
which is, of course,
1177
01:09:38,091 --> 01:09:40,761
an amorphous super-fluid
in a temporary state of rigidity.
1178
01:09:40,844 --> 01:09:43,724
And I guess the resulting strain
was just a little too much.
1179
01:09:44,139 --> 01:09:47,929
Yeah. Look, Professor, why don't you
just settle for what you got here?
1180
01:09:47,976 --> 01:09:49,912
With the money from this thing
we'll both get fat.
1181
01:09:49,936 --> 01:09:53,016
And there'll be enough left over for you
to take care of the Medfield problem.
1182
01:09:54,399 --> 01:09:57,439
Well, that's what you want to do, isn't it?
Save Medfield College?
1183
01:09:57,777 --> 01:09:59,672
That kind of money would never help
Medfield College
1184
01:09:59,696 --> 01:10:00,986
or anyone else, Mr. Hawk.
1185
01:10:01,239 --> 01:10:02,959
Well, you know what you're doing,
don't you?
1186
01:10:03,033 --> 01:10:04,953
You'll go to jail
for what you did to me!
1187
01:10:05,035 --> 01:10:07,535
And before this day is over
I'll be back here with the sheriff.
1188
01:10:07,621 --> 01:10:09,921
And we'll have this place tied up
tighter than Fort Knox!
1189
01:10:09,956 --> 01:10:11,826
With all your work
and all your experiments!
1190
01:10:11,917 --> 01:10:13,037
Good day, Mr. Hawk.
1191
01:10:13,126 --> 01:10:15,086
And as for Medfield,
a year from now,
1192
01:10:15,128 --> 01:10:18,088
people will have forgotten there ever was
such a punk little college.
1193
01:10:18,506 --> 01:10:19,796
You wanna bet?
1194
01:10:22,260 --> 01:10:24,447
- Oh. Hi, Pop, what are you doing here?
- Out of the way, son.
1195
01:10:24,471 --> 01:10:26,949
Hey, Pop, I thought I'd mention it.
You're a little overdue on my allowance.
1196
01:10:26,973 --> 01:10:28,313
Allowance!
1197
01:10:28,808 --> 01:10:31,978
Why, I'm just liable to send you off
to jail with this criminal here,
1198
01:10:32,062 --> 01:10:33,362
as a fellow conspirator,
1199
01:10:33,647 --> 01:10:35,477
a partner in crime!
1200
01:10:35,982 --> 01:10:38,322
Why, if you weren't deductible,
I'd disown you!
1201
01:10:40,820 --> 01:10:42,131
- What was that all about?
- Come on, fellas.
1202
01:10:42,155 --> 01:10:44,115
Let's get to work on
that football suit of yours.
1203
01:10:44,157 --> 01:10:46,117
Professor, you mean
you're gonna help us?
1204
01:10:46,159 --> 01:10:47,829
Maybe the college
won't be here next year,
1205
01:10:47,911 --> 01:10:49,889
but we're going to see
that nobody ever forgets it.
1206
01:10:49,913 --> 01:10:52,003
Yahoo! Come on, Humph!
Let's hustle into it!
1207
01:10:52,040 --> 01:10:53,710
But, Biff, about my idea!
You promised!
1208
01:10:53,792 --> 01:10:55,478
Will you forget about that?
The Professor's with us now!
1209
01:10:55,502 --> 01:10:56,646
The first team's coming into the game!
1210
01:10:56,670 --> 01:10:57,939
We're gonna have the suit in no time.
1211
01:10:57,963 --> 01:10:59,683
Biff, Biff.
Let's take it easy for a minute.
1212
01:10:59,714 --> 01:11:01,594
Now, your basic idea is fine.
1213
01:11:01,675 --> 01:11:03,903
I just think there might be a more
effective way of using it.
1214
01:11:03,927 --> 01:11:05,529
That's what I've been trying to tell him.
1215
01:11:05,553 --> 01:11:08,393
Forget the suit.
Put the Flubber gas in the football!
1216
01:11:08,473 --> 01:11:11,893
Boy, just think, 70-yard kicks,
90-yard passes!
1217
01:11:11,977 --> 01:11:14,347
Humph, what is the matter with you?
Are you cracking up?
1218
01:11:14,396 --> 01:11:15,873
Our team can't even
hold onto the ball now.
1219
01:11:15,897 --> 01:11:17,959
Now, what would happen if we
hopped it up with Flubber gas?
1220
01:11:17,983 --> 01:11:18,983
Biff is right.
1221
01:11:19,067 --> 01:11:21,357
It's very important
to control the ball at all times.
1222
01:11:21,403 --> 01:11:23,113
We must never lose possession of it.
1223
01:11:23,238 --> 01:11:27,368
So, we never throw just the ball,
we throw the player with the ball.
1224
01:11:29,035 --> 01:11:32,785
- Right! We throw a player?
- That's right.
1225
01:11:32,956 --> 01:11:36,076
Look, Professor,
couldn't we put the gas in the football?
1226
01:11:36,167 --> 01:11:38,707
- You know, forget the suit?
- Humphrey, it's just simple logic.
1227
01:11:38,753 --> 01:11:41,463
With the Flubber gas we make you
quasi-weightless, or buoyant,
1228
01:11:41,548 --> 01:11:43,678
and then we throw you with the ball.
1229
01:11:43,925 --> 01:11:46,335
- You do?
- Yes! Don't you see the beauty of it?
1230
01:11:46,469 --> 01:11:49,759
Even if they intercept, we still have
possession of the ball. Right?
1231
01:11:49,848 --> 01:11:51,388
- Right!
- Right, Humphrey?
1232
01:11:51,474 --> 01:11:53,524
- Uh, right.
- Well, good. Let's go to work!
1233
01:11:54,686 --> 01:11:58,266
Poor old Medfield!
See them run!
1234
01:11:58,356 --> 01:12:02,896
Come on, Rutland! Mow them down!
1235
01:12:02,944 --> 01:12:06,744
Well, ladies and gentlemen, here we
are in the little community of Medfield.
1236
01:12:06,823 --> 01:12:08,833
Say what you will
about their football team,
1237
01:12:08,908 --> 01:12:10,828
at least the weather here is good.
1238
01:12:11,036 --> 01:12:14,246
A clear, crisp, moonlight night,
not a cloud in the sky.
1239
01:12:14,331 --> 01:12:18,001
As for what has been optimistically
advertised as a football game,
1240
01:12:18,084 --> 01:12:20,254
I'm afraid we can't promise you much.
1241
01:12:20,295 --> 01:12:22,165
Mighty Rutland University, untied,
1242
01:12:22,255 --> 01:12:24,255
unscored upon
for the past three seasons,
1243
01:12:24,507 --> 01:12:27,087
knocking at the door
of the national championship
1244
01:12:27,177 --> 01:12:29,757
pitted tonight against puny Medfield.
1245
01:12:29,804 --> 01:12:31,814
Oh! Here comes Rutland on the field.
1246
01:12:41,107 --> 01:12:43,437
They've chickened out,
both of them.
1247
01:12:43,485 --> 01:12:46,145
- Wait'll I get my hands on those two!
- Coach! Coach!
1248
01:12:46,237 --> 01:12:48,867
- I got a note for you.
- Oh, good, good.
1249
01:12:48,948 --> 01:12:51,748
"Dear coach, Humphrey and I will be
a little late for the game tonight,
1250
01:12:51,785 --> 01:12:54,445
"so go ahead without us.
1251
01:12:54,496 --> 01:12:57,786
"We're getting
a secret weapon ready.
1252
01:12:57,832 --> 01:13:00,712
"You'll be proud of us
when you see what it is.
1253
01:13:00,794 --> 01:13:03,384
"Best wishes, Biff Hawk."
1254
01:13:05,340 --> 01:13:09,720
- Oh, no. Coach. Steady. Steady.
- Best wishes? Best wishes! Oh!
1255
01:13:12,680 --> 01:13:16,140
And at fullback position for
Rutland, Hjalmar Woccskyinska,
1256
01:13:16,184 --> 01:13:19,694
a 240-pound husky
from Broken Jaw, Idaho.
1257
01:13:19,771 --> 01:13:22,071
Back home
during his summer vacations,
1258
01:13:22,148 --> 01:13:25,028
Hjalmar runs
a training school for prison guards.
1259
01:13:25,110 --> 01:13:29,490
And that completes
the starting lineup for Rutland.
1260
01:13:29,531 --> 01:13:31,550
How would you like to be
in little Medfield's shoes,
1261
01:13:31,574 --> 01:13:34,334
and square off against that array
of giants, huh, friends?
1262
01:13:34,411 --> 01:13:36,501
Oh, here comes Medfield.
1263
01:13:42,168 --> 01:13:44,798
Well, here come
the lambs to the slaughter.
1264
01:13:44,838 --> 01:13:47,048
Jeffrey, I just don't see
why you had to come.
1265
01:13:47,132 --> 01:13:49,512
You know how this game is
going to upset you.
1266
01:13:49,592 --> 01:13:53,302
My dear, when a ship is sinking,
the captain remains at his post.
1267
01:13:53,346 --> 01:13:55,596
Come on, Medfield!
Eat 'em alive!
1268
01:13:55,682 --> 01:13:58,102
Second quarter,
Rutland's ball, first and ten.
1269
01:13:58,726 --> 01:14:03,146
Ready, set.
Hut one! Hut two!
1270
01:14:03,189 --> 01:14:05,229
Hut three! Hut four!
1271
01:14:21,332 --> 01:14:23,185
Down to
the 30, the 20, the 10, and
1272
01:14:23,209 --> 01:14:24,789
over for another
Rutland touchdown.
1273
01:14:24,878 --> 01:14:26,668
Yeah, there goes another one.
1274
01:14:27,213 --> 01:14:28,973
I can't understand
what's happened to Biff.
1275
01:14:29,048 --> 01:14:31,178
He went to get that vulcanizing kit
over an hour ago.
1276
01:14:31,718 --> 01:14:34,388
Sir, we're never gonna get
this thing ready in time.
1277
01:14:34,429 --> 01:14:37,099
- If you'd just reconsider my idea.
- What's that, Humphrey?
1278
01:14:37,182 --> 01:14:40,562
- Well, this. There's Flubber gas in here.
- What's it for?
1279
01:14:40,602 --> 01:14:42,402
Well, so I don't have
to wear this suit.
1280
01:14:42,479 --> 01:14:46,399
Instead, we give the good ole football a
shot of gas, and then zzshhhh!
1281
01:14:46,483 --> 01:14:48,544
- Humphrey. Humphrey...
- Boy, just think. 70-yard passes...
1282
01:14:48,568 --> 01:14:49,898
- Humphrey.
- 80-yard punts!
1283
01:14:49,986 --> 01:14:51,338
- 90-yard field goals!
- Wait a minute now.
1284
01:14:51,362 --> 01:14:52,912
We've been through all that.
1285
01:14:52,947 --> 01:14:54,008
Don't you understand, Humphrey?
1286
01:14:54,032 --> 01:14:55,912
You don't have
a thing to worry about now.
1287
01:14:56,284 --> 01:14:59,504
With this new valve you have perfect
buoyancy control at all times.
1288
01:15:03,708 --> 01:15:05,468
Professor! Come on.
We gotta get out of here.
1289
01:15:05,543 --> 01:15:06,863
- What's wrong, Biff?
- My father.
1290
01:15:06,920 --> 01:15:08,880
I was just over
at Higgins' Super Mercantile store
1291
01:15:08,922 --> 01:15:10,222
getting this vulcanizing kit.
1292
01:15:10,256 --> 01:15:12,318
Pop walked in to get the sheriff who was
his dinner there,
1293
01:15:12,342 --> 01:15:13,444
and I overheard them talking.
1294
01:15:13,468 --> 01:15:14,737
Then they went over
to Judge Murdock's.
1295
01:15:14,761 --> 01:15:16,238
And professor,
they've got a warrant for you,
1296
01:15:16,262 --> 01:15:17,990
and they're coming over here
to throw you in jail.
1297
01:15:18,014 --> 01:15:19,450
Well, you're right.
We'd better get out of here.
1298
01:15:19,474 --> 01:15:20,910
We'll have to fix the suit
in the locker room.
1299
01:15:20,934 --> 01:15:22,274
Open the doors, Biff.
1300
01:15:28,816 --> 01:15:30,066
Look out!
1301
01:15:38,451 --> 01:15:40,621
Back out, you idiot!
He's getting away!
1302
01:15:58,137 --> 01:16:01,557
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's
going just the way we predicted.
1303
01:16:01,641 --> 01:16:04,891
Mighty Rutland is shredding
the little Medfield team to bits.
1304
01:16:04,978 --> 01:16:07,308
As we go into the closing minutes
of the third quarter,
1305
01:16:07,480 --> 01:16:11,150
the score, Rutland 28,
Medfield, nothing.
1306
01:16:13,152 --> 01:16:15,152
Well, he must be here someplace.
1307
01:16:15,238 --> 01:16:18,068
You two get the rest of the boys
and spread out!
1308
01:16:18,616 --> 01:16:22,696
"Aye, tear her tattered ensign down,
long has it waved on high."
1309
01:16:22,787 --> 01:16:25,617
Look, I don't mind losing
the football game, Professor Ashton,
1310
01:16:25,665 --> 01:16:27,625
but spare us
your garbled quotations.
1311
01:16:27,667 --> 01:16:31,457
As you will. You're not expecting
anyone, are you, Betsy?
1312
01:16:32,463 --> 01:16:34,883
- Thank you.
- Shelby, wouldn't you rather sit on your
1313
01:16:34,966 --> 01:16:36,876
own side of the field? You're winning.
1314
01:16:36,968 --> 01:16:39,388
Oh, it's of no consequence, my dear.
1315
01:16:39,470 --> 01:16:41,640
Just remember, the next time
you see a football game,
1316
01:16:41,681 --> 01:16:43,181
you'll see it from the right side,
1317
01:16:43,224 --> 01:16:44,484
the Rutland side.
1318
01:16:53,776 --> 01:16:56,356
Pitney returns to take off
to the 21-yard line.
1319
01:16:58,656 --> 01:17:00,326
Time out for Medfield.
1320
01:17:02,410 --> 01:17:05,200
- It's a massacre, coach.
- Yeah, ain't it a shame.
1321
01:17:05,288 --> 01:17:07,349
We should have brought along
the girls' volleyball team.
1322
01:17:07,373 --> 01:17:08,543
We could have sent them in.
1323
01:17:14,505 --> 01:17:16,715
Okay.
Any volunteers?
1324
01:17:17,759 --> 01:17:20,299
Hold it, coach! We're here.
Everything's okay, sir.
1325
01:17:20,386 --> 01:17:21,947
The secret weapon is primed
and ready to fire.
1326
01:17:21,971 --> 01:17:23,061
Where've you been, Hawk?
1327
01:17:23,097 --> 01:17:25,517
And what's all this static
about a secret weapon?
1328
01:17:25,558 --> 01:17:27,018
This is it, sir.
1329
01:17:29,270 --> 01:17:32,690
- You're the secret weapon?
- Yes, sir.
1330
01:17:33,775 --> 01:17:35,225
It's not fair.
1331
01:17:37,070 --> 01:17:38,255
- It's not fair.
- Come on, boy.
1332
01:17:38,279 --> 01:17:39,569
Let's mop up the field with 'em.
1333
01:17:44,243 --> 01:17:47,913
Hawk and Humphrey
coming in for Medfield.
1334
01:17:48,915 --> 01:17:52,455
Medfield's ball, first and ten
on their 21-yard line.
1335
01:18:05,181 --> 01:18:07,021
Humph, give it the gas.
1336
01:18:15,024 --> 01:18:16,324
Ready?
Break!
1337
01:18:19,112 --> 01:18:22,572
Down! Hut!
Hut two! Hike!
1338
01:18:45,430 --> 01:18:49,140
Way to go, Humphrey!
Touchdown! Come on!
1339
01:18:49,183 --> 01:18:53,103
All right, you first string, get back
in there! And forget your manners!
1340
01:19:09,579 --> 01:19:11,499
And there goes the try
for the extra point.
1341
01:19:12,999 --> 01:19:14,539
It's good.
1342
01:19:14,625 --> 01:19:17,455
The score, Rutland 37,
Medfield 7.
1343
01:19:17,754 --> 01:19:21,134
I tell you, that Medfield touchdown
was certainly a surprise.
1344
01:19:21,174 --> 01:19:24,514
To recap, Humphrey,
the Medfield tailback,
1345
01:19:24,594 --> 01:19:27,514
received the ball,
then he, uh...
1346
01:19:27,597 --> 01:19:30,597
George, what kind of play
would you say that was?
1347
01:19:30,683 --> 01:19:32,693
Uh...
1348
01:19:40,526 --> 01:19:43,526
Rutland returns the kickoff
to Medfield's 45-yard line.
1349
01:19:43,613 --> 01:19:45,453
Now we'll see what happens.
1350
01:19:45,531 --> 01:19:48,177
For my money, folks, I think little
Medfield's gonna be awfully sorry
1351
01:19:48,201 --> 01:19:50,201
they made that accidental touchdown.
1352
01:19:50,286 --> 01:19:52,536
Those Rutland boys are like
a bunch of hungry tigers.
1353
01:19:52,747 --> 01:19:54,367
Ready, set!
1354
01:19:56,292 --> 01:20:00,132
Hut one! Hut two!
Hut three! Hut four!
1355
01:20:20,066 --> 01:20:22,316
What happened to you
on that play, stupid?
1356
01:20:22,401 --> 01:20:25,361
What happened to me?
What happened to you, clod?
1357
01:20:25,404 --> 01:20:28,034
Well, now. Let's see
what happened that time.
1358
01:20:28,074 --> 01:20:30,914
As I make it out,
Rutland had just started one of its
1359
01:20:30,993 --> 01:20:33,583
famous razzle-dazzle plays,
when, uh...
1360
01:20:33,996 --> 01:20:36,116
Did you see how that
happened there, George?
1361
01:20:36,207 --> 01:20:37,747
Uh, well, it...
1362
01:20:47,009 --> 01:20:50,679
Olson returns the ball
to Rutland's 38-yard line.
1363
01:20:55,434 --> 01:20:57,774
Hut one! Hut two!
1364
01:21:13,619 --> 01:21:15,499
- Here he comes!
- Catch him!
1365
01:21:16,581 --> 01:21:18,141
Humphrey knocked
out of bounds over
1366
01:21:18,165 --> 01:21:20,285
the Medfield 49-yard line.
1367
01:21:20,334 --> 01:21:22,464
- Upsy-daisy!
- Have a good trip, Humph!
1368
01:21:25,423 --> 01:21:30,553
Out! Get him away from me!
1369
01:21:30,636 --> 01:21:32,806
Medfield ball, first and ten.
1370
01:21:32,889 --> 01:21:34,929
Down! Hut one!
1371
01:21:56,537 --> 01:21:57,617
Oof!
1372
01:22:01,584 --> 01:22:03,478
I don't know what it is,
but there's somethin' crooked
1373
01:22:03,502 --> 01:22:07,092
- going on here.
- Okay. Here's a rule book.
1374
01:22:07,173 --> 01:22:09,883
You think there's somethin' wrong?
You find it!
1375
01:22:10,468 --> 01:22:12,029
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
I guess you know by now,
1376
01:22:12,053 --> 01:22:14,448
we are witnessing one of the wildest,
slam-bang football games
1377
01:22:14,472 --> 01:22:16,522
ever played anywhere at any time.
1378
01:22:16,557 --> 01:22:18,847
Tiny Medfield College,
led by captain Biff Hawk,
1379
01:22:18,893 --> 01:22:20,523
and a high-stepping back
named Humphrey,
1380
01:22:20,603 --> 01:22:22,613
has turned a rout into a battle of titans.
1381
01:22:22,688 --> 01:22:24,608
And, oh!
There's the kickoff!
1382
01:22:24,690 --> 01:22:26,690
It arches through the air
down to the Rutland 25...
1383
01:22:26,734 --> 01:22:28,824
Rutland fumbles!
Medfield's got the ball again.
1384
01:22:28,861 --> 01:22:31,281
Looks like mighty Rutland's
beginning to feel the pressure.
1385
01:22:33,366 --> 01:22:35,786
Medfield's ball, first and ten.
1386
01:22:36,869 --> 01:22:39,329
Hut one! Hut two! Hike!
1387
01:22:40,039 --> 01:22:41,141
The ball is snapped to Humphrey.
1388
01:22:41,165 --> 01:22:42,392
He fakes a hand off
to the wing back.
1389
01:22:42,416 --> 01:22:43,996
Humphrey still has the ball.
1390
01:22:44,919 --> 01:22:46,339
Now Hawk has Humphrey.
1391
01:23:07,441 --> 01:23:09,321
Rule seven, section 30...
1392
01:23:09,402 --> 01:23:10,862
Get off the playin' field.
1393
01:23:10,903 --> 01:23:14,373
I got myself a football game
goin' on out here!
1394
01:23:14,407 --> 01:23:15,987
- Why, you...
- Wait a minute, coach.
1395
01:23:16,075 --> 01:23:17,075
Take it easy, huh?
1396
01:23:17,159 --> 01:23:18,739
Well, it's a race
against time now.
1397
01:23:18,828 --> 01:23:20,958
Medfield trails Rutland
by nine points.
1398
01:23:21,038 --> 01:23:22,557
With less than
four minutes left to play,
1399
01:23:22,581 --> 01:23:26,501
the big question is can Rutland stop
Medfield's brilliant aerial attack?
1400
01:23:26,585 --> 01:23:28,772
Oh, it looks as if Rutland may
have something up their sleeve.
1401
01:23:28,796 --> 01:23:30,836
Medfield ball, first and ten.
1402
01:23:30,923 --> 01:23:33,803
I've never seen 'em use
this kind of defense before.
1403
01:23:35,302 --> 01:23:39,272
Down! Hut one!
Hut two! Hike!
1404
01:23:39,306 --> 01:23:40,726
Now!
1405
01:23:49,525 --> 01:23:52,775
Wait a minute! Are you gonna
let them get away with that?
1406
01:23:52,820 --> 01:23:56,120
What are you kickin' about?
That's a legal tackle, ain't it?
1407
01:23:56,198 --> 01:23:59,288
Now, remember, you guys,
the old lady with a twist on two.
1408
01:23:59,326 --> 01:24:00,576
Ready? Break!
1409
01:24:03,456 --> 01:24:05,996
- The same thing again.
- Down!
1410
01:24:07,334 --> 01:24:08,424
Hut one! Hike!
1411
01:24:17,595 --> 01:24:20,965
No! No!
The other way!
1412
01:24:21,015 --> 01:24:25,635
Looks like the old Statue of Liberty play.
Right, George?
1413
01:24:25,686 --> 01:24:27,396
Medfield scores.
1414
01:24:32,777 --> 01:24:34,921
The clock is ticking away
the last minutes of the game.
1415
01:24:34,945 --> 01:24:36,565
Medfield takes over the ball again.
1416
01:24:36,781 --> 01:24:38,411
Ready? Break!
1417
01:24:39,825 --> 01:24:43,115
You look kinda flabby, Humph.
Better gas up a little.
1418
01:24:55,841 --> 01:24:59,051
Down! Hut one!
Hut two! Hike!
1419
01:25:08,687 --> 01:25:11,607
Biff!
1420
01:25:16,028 --> 01:25:17,698
Biff!
1421
01:25:23,327 --> 01:25:25,197
Biff! Biff!
1422
01:25:41,011 --> 01:25:42,811
It's Hawk with Humphrey.
1423
01:25:45,724 --> 01:25:48,734
He's down to the 20,
the 15, the ten, the five...
1424
01:25:53,232 --> 01:25:56,362
He's back to the ten,
the 15, the 20...
1425
01:26:05,703 --> 01:26:07,623
Biff!
1426
01:26:16,213 --> 01:26:18,803
Medfield calls time out.
1427
01:26:24,513 --> 01:26:27,433
And that looks like
the end of the line for Medfield.
1428
01:26:27,516 --> 01:26:30,806
They're back on their own two yard line
with eight seconds left to play.
1429
01:26:30,895 --> 01:26:34,105
The score, Rutland 37, Medfield 35.
1430
01:26:34,190 --> 01:26:38,440
Well, Humph, I guess we've had it.
Anyway, we tried.
1431
01:26:38,485 --> 01:26:40,945
Well, if you'd just let me use my needle,
we'd have won easy.
1432
01:26:41,030 --> 01:26:43,450
Well, it isn't doing us
any good back at the lab.
1433
01:26:43,532 --> 01:26:47,332
Well, like I said,
I never did trust this crummy suit.
1434
01:26:50,623 --> 01:26:51,963
Humph!
1435
01:26:55,002 --> 01:26:57,342
There may be time for one more play.
1436
01:27:02,259 --> 01:27:04,759
Medfield lining up
for a field goal attempt.
1437
01:27:04,803 --> 01:27:06,443
They're gonna try a field goal from here?
1438
01:27:10,267 --> 01:27:14,267
It looks as though Medfield is going to
attempt a 98-yard field goal.
1439
01:27:14,313 --> 01:27:17,693
Repeat, 98 yards. Ridiculous.
1440
01:27:17,775 --> 01:27:20,025
The poor lads must be
cracking under the strain.
1441
01:27:24,323 --> 01:27:25,373
Hike!
1442
01:27:29,703 --> 01:27:33,293
Too bad. Medfield just made
a final, desperate effort to...
1443
01:27:33,332 --> 01:27:35,332
Wait a minute.
It's gaining altitude.
1444
01:27:44,843 --> 01:27:47,683
And there goes the final gun
as the game ends and Medfield wins.
1445
01:27:47,721 --> 01:27:50,601
The ball, the ball is still going up...
1446
01:27:50,683 --> 01:27:52,943
Up... Up...
1447
01:27:53,686 --> 01:27:55,226
Out of the stadium!
1448
01:27:59,108 --> 01:28:02,608
Ladies and gentlemen,
I think it's going into orbit.
1449
01:28:03,862 --> 01:28:06,742
George.
George, did ya see that?
1450
01:28:10,369 --> 01:28:14,749
We won! We... Ooh! Ooh!
1451
01:28:14,832 --> 01:28:17,842
Get him! Get him!
Get him! Get him!
1452
01:28:46,572 --> 01:28:48,322
Oh, shut up!
1453
01:28:56,373 --> 01:29:00,133
Well, the trial of Professor Ned Brainard
swung into its third day today.
1454
01:29:00,753 --> 01:29:02,763
Against advice to the contrary,
1455
01:29:02,796 --> 01:29:06,086
Professor Brainard continued
to act as counsel in his own behalf.
1456
01:29:06,675 --> 01:29:10,595
He was quoted as saying he was
confident in the due processes of law.
1457
01:29:10,637 --> 01:29:13,557
Despite the growing tide
of testimony against him,
1458
01:29:13,599 --> 01:29:15,929
as the prosecution kept
a steady parade of witnesses
1459
01:29:16,018 --> 01:29:17,688
moving through the witness box,
1460
01:29:17,770 --> 01:29:21,900
today, the prosecution unlimbered
its big guns against the defense.
1461
01:29:22,232 --> 01:29:25,692
Professor Brainard,
you seem proud of your job as a teacher.
1462
01:29:25,778 --> 01:29:28,948
Do you like it because you believe
it makes you important?
1463
01:29:29,156 --> 01:29:32,736
Well, not me personally.
But I believe the work I do is important.
1464
01:29:32,826 --> 01:29:36,706
In what way? Would you care
to tell us a little about it?
1465
01:29:37,331 --> 01:29:40,291
It gives me the opportunity to help
young people, to stir them up,
1466
01:29:40,334 --> 01:29:43,344
to make them restless,
to make them think.
1467
01:29:43,420 --> 01:29:46,590
Maybe plant a bug of discovery
in their minds, or...
1468
01:29:46,632 --> 01:29:49,512
- And you think that's important?
- Of course it's important!
1469
01:29:49,593 --> 01:29:51,643
One of those young people
might discover something
1470
01:29:51,720 --> 01:29:53,680
the entire world has been looking for.
1471
01:29:54,181 --> 01:29:58,641
He might not, but I like to feel that
I had a part in giving him a crack at it.
1472
01:29:58,936 --> 01:30:00,976
I see.
1473
01:30:01,021 --> 01:30:04,531
Now, regardless of whether
you are found guilty or not,
1474
01:30:04,608 --> 01:30:08,278
I ask you to consider
this question very carefully.
1475
01:30:08,904 --> 01:30:11,324
Would you hope to
return to your classroom?
1476
01:30:11,365 --> 01:30:13,235
Would you continue as before?
1477
01:30:13,325 --> 01:30:16,575
Would you recklessly incite the
young minds of your class again?
1478
01:30:16,662 --> 01:30:18,582
To inspire them to such experiments
1479
01:30:18,664 --> 01:30:21,794
as that which bombarded
our skies with powerful rays?
1480
01:30:21,834 --> 01:30:24,344
Rays which expose all of us
to unknown peril?
1481
01:30:25,671 --> 01:30:28,171
I put the question to you
again, Professor,
1482
01:30:28,215 --> 01:30:30,925
and I ask you
to mark well your answer.
1483
01:30:31,009 --> 01:30:35,429
Would you still persist in these
dangerous and malicious follies?
1484
01:30:36,223 --> 01:30:38,983
Well, that question is
a little difficult to answer.
1485
01:30:39,017 --> 01:30:40,637
Well, Professor?
1486
01:30:42,855 --> 01:30:47,935
- Mr. Prosecutor, may I say something?
- Go ahead, Professor.
1487
01:30:48,652 --> 01:30:52,282
I'm sure we'd all be interested
in hearing your views.
1488
01:30:52,906 --> 01:30:56,196
- Looks like he's gonna craw fish.
- Well, it seems to me that a lot of people
1489
01:30:56,243 --> 01:30:59,293
are going around these days
selling fear.
1490
01:30:59,371 --> 01:31:03,961
All kinds of fear.
Fear of bombs, bugs, smog,
1491
01:31:04,042 --> 01:31:07,092
surpluses, fallout, falling hair,
1492
01:31:07,171 --> 01:31:09,261
even fear of Mr. Hawk.
1493
01:31:09,756 --> 01:31:12,046
We find our self apologizing,
1494
01:31:12,092 --> 01:31:15,432
hiding our heads,
or jumping at shadows.
1495
01:31:16,346 --> 01:31:19,806
I can remember when Groundhog Day
only came once a year in this country.
1496
01:31:22,186 --> 01:31:25,936
Now, I see a lot of students from
my science class here in the courtroom.
1497
01:31:27,065 --> 01:31:30,065
They may not be the most studious
group of young people in college today,
1498
01:31:30,152 --> 01:31:33,362
but I'll say this for them,
so far they are unafraid.
1499
01:31:34,281 --> 01:31:36,531
They have good will, enthusiasm,
1500
01:31:36,742 --> 01:31:40,002
and an infinite capacity
for making mistakes.
1501
01:31:40,078 --> 01:31:41,828
I have high hopes for them.
1502
01:31:42,998 --> 01:31:44,668
Am I to understand, Professor,
1503
01:31:44,750 --> 01:31:48,340
you actually encourage
mistakes in your class?
1504
01:31:48,837 --> 01:31:49,877
Mr. Prosecutor,
1505
01:31:49,922 --> 01:31:53,932
the road to genius is paved
with fumble-footing and bumbling.
1506
01:31:54,009 --> 01:31:56,139
Anyone who falls flat on his face
is at least moving
1507
01:31:56,220 --> 01:31:58,140
in the right direction, forward.
1508
01:31:58,680 --> 01:32:01,100
And the fellow who makes
the most mistakes
1509
01:32:01,141 --> 01:32:03,771
may be the one who will save the neck
of the whole world someday.
1510
01:32:05,062 --> 01:32:08,982
Now, may I ask again,
and will you answer clearly,
1511
01:32:09,066 --> 01:32:10,856
for the benefit
of the court and the jury,
1512
01:32:10,943 --> 01:32:13,783
most of whom are parents.
1513
01:32:13,862 --> 01:32:17,282
Suppose you are returned
to your role as a teacher,
1514
01:32:17,324 --> 01:32:20,374
would you do exactly as you did before?
1515
01:32:21,245 --> 01:32:24,205
Yes. I would do exactly as I did before.
1516
01:32:31,755 --> 01:32:34,005
Order! Order, please.
1517
01:32:34,091 --> 01:32:36,261
Order!
1518
01:32:36,301 --> 01:32:39,391
Another such outburst and the bailiff
will clear the court.
1519
01:32:48,772 --> 01:32:51,322
That is all.
You may step down.
1520
01:32:53,318 --> 01:32:55,818
Come on. Let's tie this thing up
and get out of here.
1521
01:32:55,904 --> 01:32:58,284
- Are you sure?
- Stall for time.
1522
01:32:58,323 --> 01:32:59,833
15 or 20 minutes should do it.
1523
01:32:59,866 --> 01:33:01,866
Professor, you may
call your first witness.
1524
01:33:01,952 --> 01:33:05,622
- No witnesses, Your Honor.
- In that case, I will sum up briefly.
1525
01:33:05,664 --> 01:33:07,674
Sit down.
1526
01:33:07,749 --> 01:33:12,419
Is it true, Professor, that you have
provided no witnesses in your behalf?
1527
01:33:12,921 --> 01:33:15,671
- No, I haven't, Your Honor.
- May I suggest, Professor,
1528
01:33:15,716 --> 01:33:18,546
as defense counsel, you're not doing
much in your own behalf.
1529
01:33:18,635 --> 01:33:21,005
I'm a witness for the defense,
Your Honor.
1530
01:33:21,054 --> 01:33:22,184
Splendid.
1531
01:33:22,556 --> 01:33:24,596
- I object!
- I object too!
1532
01:33:24,808 --> 01:33:26,018
Both objections overruled.
1533
01:33:26,226 --> 01:33:28,646
But, Your Honor,
this is most unusual procedure.
1534
01:33:28,687 --> 01:33:31,267
It is also unusual procedure
for the defense to have
1535
01:33:31,356 --> 01:33:33,026
no witnesses in his own behalf.
1536
01:33:33,108 --> 01:33:34,168
Swear in the witness, please.
1537
01:33:34,192 --> 01:33:37,202
I merely hoped to save
the court's valuable time.
1538
01:33:37,237 --> 01:33:40,737
My time is your time,
Mr. Prosecutor.
1539
01:33:40,824 --> 01:33:42,010
Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth,
1540
01:33:42,034 --> 01:33:43,344
the whole truth
and nothing but the truth?
1541
01:33:43,368 --> 01:33:44,868
- I do.
- State your name.
1542
01:33:44,911 --> 01:33:46,251
Elizabeth Brainard.
1543
01:33:47,956 --> 01:33:51,036
- Will the defense question the witness?
- No, Your Honor.
1544
01:33:53,045 --> 01:33:57,755
Very well. Will you kindly tell
your story in your own words?
1545
01:33:58,675 --> 01:34:00,045
Well, uh...
1546
01:34:00,135 --> 01:34:03,715
As I was saying,
my name is Elizabeth Brainard.
1547
01:34:03,805 --> 01:34:05,345
Occupation, housewife.
1548
01:34:06,058 --> 01:34:08,388
I first met the defendant
at Medfield College
1549
01:34:08,477 --> 01:34:10,847
where I was employed as a secretary.
1550
01:34:10,896 --> 01:34:13,396
He scratched my fender
in the parking lot just outside
1551
01:34:13,440 --> 01:34:15,280
the administration building.
1552
01:34:15,359 --> 01:34:17,529
And I fell hopelessly in love.
1553
01:34:17,569 --> 01:34:21,909
Your Honor, I don't see what
the testimony of this witness can...
1554
01:34:23,408 --> 01:34:25,368
On October 30th of this year,
1555
01:34:25,410 --> 01:34:28,160
I became involved in an argument
with the defendant.
1556
01:34:28,246 --> 01:34:31,076
I told him I didn't think I was cut out
to be a scientist's wife.
1557
01:34:32,334 --> 01:34:35,464
Well, I'd like to inform the defendant
at this time that I was wrong.
1558
01:34:36,421 --> 01:34:40,971
Whether he happens to be a scientist
or an Arctic explorer...
1559
01:34:41,551 --> 01:34:44,601
Or a headhunter, or anything else,
1560
01:34:44,638 --> 01:34:48,428
I'm cut out to be only one thing, his wife.
1561
01:34:49,893 --> 01:34:50,943
I love him.
1562
01:34:52,354 --> 01:34:54,864
- Betsy, do you mean that?
- Of course, she means it.
1563
01:34:54,940 --> 01:34:56,660
The witness is under oath
to tell the truth,
1564
01:34:56,733 --> 01:34:58,613
the whole truth
and nothing but the truth.
1565
01:34:58,777 --> 01:35:01,107
- Oh, Betsy.
- Your Honor, I would like to inquire,
1566
01:35:01,196 --> 01:35:04,366
is this a court of law
or a lonely hearts club?
1567
01:35:04,449 --> 01:35:08,159
The witness has been instructed to
tell her own story in her own way.
1568
01:35:08,245 --> 01:35:09,365
Please sit down.
1569
01:35:10,956 --> 01:35:13,206
Your Honor, will you excuse
the witness at this time?
1570
01:35:14,710 --> 01:35:18,670
Uh, will Your Honor also tell the
defense counsel to please sit down?
1571
01:35:18,755 --> 01:35:20,795
The defense counsel
is so instructed.
1572
01:35:21,550 --> 01:35:23,590
Why are we looking up
at that clock all the time?
1573
01:35:23,635 --> 01:35:25,175
How should I know?
1574
01:35:25,721 --> 01:35:27,391
Sit down.
1575
01:35:29,641 --> 01:35:31,811
Well, then I went
to Finney's to buy
1576
01:35:31,893 --> 01:35:34,943
this darling midnight blue dress
that was on sale.
1577
01:35:35,021 --> 01:35:37,651
The defendant always said
he loved me in midnight blue.
1578
01:35:37,733 --> 01:35:40,002
Your Honor, what does all this
foofaraw about a blue dress
1579
01:35:40,026 --> 01:35:41,106
have to do with the case?
1580
01:35:41,153 --> 01:35:45,823
Uh, Mrs. Brainard,
does all this, uh, foofaraw
1581
01:35:45,866 --> 01:35:48,656
have any bearing on
the disposition of the case?
1582
01:35:48,702 --> 01:35:51,622
- You bet, Your Honor.
- I don't believe it.
1583
01:35:52,414 --> 01:35:55,544
The prosecution will have
an opportunity to cross-examine.
1584
01:35:56,376 --> 01:35:58,876
That is, if you don't mind
wasting the time.
1585
01:35:59,880 --> 01:36:04,090
Gangway! Hey, gangway.
Gangway, everybody! Gangway!
1586
01:36:04,176 --> 01:36:07,256
- Ooh!
- Gangway!
1587
01:36:10,849 --> 01:36:14,849
- Excuse me, please.
- Uh, but, Mrs. Brainard, please...
1588
01:36:19,316 --> 01:36:21,436
Professor Brainard...
1589
01:36:21,735 --> 01:36:25,485
I don't wish to pry,
1590
01:36:25,530 --> 01:36:27,910
but would you kindly
divulge your intentions?
1591
01:36:27,991 --> 01:36:30,201
The court is waiting.
1592
01:36:30,285 --> 01:36:33,785
I'm sorry, Your Honor. May I ask that this
witness be recalled to testify for me?
1593
01:36:34,247 --> 01:36:36,247
- Very well.
- Objection!
1594
01:36:36,333 --> 01:36:38,253
Your Honor, the case is
ready for summation.
1595
01:36:38,335 --> 01:36:41,755
Must we subject ourselves to irrelevant
testimony trumped up by the defense?
1596
01:36:42,422 --> 01:36:44,382
The witness is qualified.
1597
01:36:44,424 --> 01:36:48,144
If I recall, he testified in behalf
of the prosecution two days ago.
1598
01:36:48,220 --> 01:36:49,850
But Your Honor...
1599
01:36:49,888 --> 01:36:53,178
Do you wish to challenge
the integrity of your own witness?
1600
01:36:53,225 --> 01:36:54,595
Down, down!
1601
01:36:56,061 --> 01:36:59,021
- Now, sir, we know who you are.
- Oh, yes. I'm A.J. Allen.
1602
01:36:59,064 --> 01:37:01,574
I'm the county agricultural agent,
that's who I am.
1603
01:37:01,650 --> 01:37:04,740
Now, Mr. Allen, day before yesterday,
you testified
1604
01:37:04,778 --> 01:37:07,340
that the rays with which I bombarded
the atmosphere seemed to have
1605
01:37:07,364 --> 01:37:10,834
a peculiar effect on the flowers, crops,
and vegetation and so forth around here.
1606
01:37:10,909 --> 01:37:14,289
- Is that right?
- Oh, yes, yes. I said that. I certainly did.
1607
01:37:14,579 --> 01:37:15,829
And you were very upset.
1608
01:37:16,373 --> 01:37:18,463
Oh, I was extremely upset, yes.
1609
01:37:18,625 --> 01:37:21,795
So much so that you decided to
investigate the matter thoroughly.
1610
01:37:21,920 --> 01:37:24,760
Oh, certainly.
I'm dedicated to my work, you know.
1611
01:37:24,798 --> 01:37:27,628
And you've come here today to make
a complete report on your findings.
1612
01:37:27,717 --> 01:37:31,297
Well, I didn't come here
to toast marshmallows, you know.
1613
01:37:31,388 --> 01:37:35,058
No. Now, Mr. Allen...
First, would you mind telling us about
1614
01:37:35,100 --> 01:37:37,270
the soil conditions here
in Medfield County?
1615
01:37:37,352 --> 01:37:39,772
Well, it's no secret, goodness knows.
1616
01:37:39,855 --> 01:37:43,525
Medfield County has the thinnest,
rockiest, wore-out, farmed-out,
1617
01:37:43,608 --> 01:37:45,438
pooped-out soil in the whole state.
1618
01:37:45,569 --> 01:37:46,569
It's pitiful!
1619
01:37:47,195 --> 01:37:48,855
I've been so ashamed.
1620
01:37:49,239 --> 01:37:50,949
It's not much good for growing things.
1621
01:37:51,241 --> 01:37:52,241
Growing things?
1622
01:37:52,701 --> 01:37:54,701
Professor, you want me
to show you something?
1623
01:37:54,786 --> 01:37:56,956
Wait, I'll show you something.
Wait a minute.
1624
01:37:57,998 --> 01:38:01,248
Do you know what that poor thing is?
That is an ear of corn.
1625
01:38:01,793 --> 01:38:03,803
That's what we've been
growing around here.
1626
01:38:03,879 --> 01:38:06,419
Do you mind watching that, Your Honor?
1627
01:38:07,299 --> 01:38:09,049
Growing things!
My goodness!
1628
01:38:11,678 --> 01:38:13,968
That's a radish.
A radish!
1629
01:38:14,723 --> 01:38:17,773
You wouldn't get a respectable burp
out of a dozen of 'em.
1630
01:38:18,935 --> 01:38:21,205
If you want to see something
really miserable...
1631
01:38:21,229 --> 01:38:23,609
I have a rutabaga here someplace...
1632
01:38:23,648 --> 01:38:26,778
I know I had it when I left home.
Somebody put...
1633
01:38:26,818 --> 01:38:29,488
The rutabaga. Where's the rutabaga?
It's around here somewhere...
1634
01:38:29,571 --> 01:38:31,951
Uh, that's fine,
Mr. Allen. Thank you.
1635
01:38:31,990 --> 01:38:35,080
Now, would you tell us,
have you noticed any change recently?
1636
01:38:35,160 --> 01:38:36,700
Have I noticed any change?
1637
01:38:36,786 --> 01:38:39,456
Why, Professor,
you don't know what's going on!
1638
01:38:39,497 --> 01:38:42,957
All over Medfield County,
things are growing up like crazy!
1639
01:38:43,001 --> 01:38:47,261
Why, everywhere I look,
everything is suddenly all fertiled up!
1640
01:38:47,339 --> 01:38:49,650
Mr. Allen, would you say it might have
something to do with what
1641
01:38:49,674 --> 01:38:51,724
the prosecutor has been calling
"Flubber Fallout"?
1642
01:38:52,260 --> 01:38:55,220
Oh, I don't...
He can call it anything he wants.
1643
01:38:55,347 --> 01:38:56,347
Personally, Professor,
1644
01:38:56,431 --> 01:38:57,971
I think that you've invented...
1645
01:38:59,643 --> 01:39:01,193
Oh, for heaven's sakes.
1646
01:39:01,269 --> 01:39:03,519
You might call it "dry rain."
1647
01:39:04,022 --> 01:39:06,232
- Dry what?
- Dry rain.
1648
01:39:06,316 --> 01:39:08,486
I just thought of it just this minute.
1649
01:39:08,693 --> 01:39:10,283
That's exactly what it is.
1650
01:39:11,446 --> 01:39:14,156
I don't believe I've ever
heard of dry rain.
1651
01:39:14,199 --> 01:39:16,739
Is it anything like taking a dry bath,
1652
01:39:16,826 --> 01:39:19,536
or going for a dry canoe ride?
1653
01:39:19,579 --> 01:39:21,919
No, no.
1654
01:39:21,998 --> 01:39:25,088
Actually, it's more like guzzling
a dry martini, you know.
1655
01:39:25,168 --> 01:39:27,878
It's very stimulating.
1656
01:39:27,921 --> 01:39:30,721
You see, Professor Brainard's rays
must have combined
1657
01:39:30,757 --> 01:39:34,547
with massive amounts
of nitrogen out in the atmosphere, see?
1658
01:39:35,261 --> 01:39:39,061
And it came "shoomping" right down
in front of our eyes, but we never saw it.
1659
01:39:40,350 --> 01:39:43,270
Why, for all we know, it might be
dry-raining right down in this courtroom
1660
01:39:43,311 --> 01:39:46,311
this very minute,
fertilizing everything in sight!
1661
01:39:46,398 --> 01:39:47,978
You can't tell, you know.
1662
01:39:49,067 --> 01:39:52,067
Do you expect this court to believe
all this mumbo jumbo?
1663
01:39:52,153 --> 01:39:53,863
Can you substantiate it?
1664
01:39:54,114 --> 01:39:56,624
Oh, my goodness!
1665
01:39:56,700 --> 01:39:58,660
I thought he'd never ask me!
1666
01:40:00,829 --> 01:40:03,209
Boys, bring in the substantiation,
1667
01:40:03,289 --> 01:40:04,579
- will you, please?
- Yes, sir!
1668
01:40:06,501 --> 01:40:09,251
Come on! Bring it in!
1669
01:40:17,387 --> 01:40:19,887
That's right, boys!
Just put it up there on the bench!
1670
01:40:20,348 --> 01:40:23,598
Look at those carrots, judge!
I tell you, a rabbit couldn't...
1671
01:40:30,608 --> 01:40:32,608
- Boys! Boys!
- Order!
1672
01:40:32,694 --> 01:40:35,364
Don't push! Keep it dignified!
1673
01:40:35,905 --> 01:40:37,615
Well, don't just sit there.
Do something!
1674
01:40:37,657 --> 01:40:39,827
Your wife says
to get home right away.
1675
01:40:39,909 --> 01:40:43,749
A summer squash just rolled off the vine
next door and smashed your sports car!
1676
01:40:45,707 --> 01:40:48,327
The jurors will please
sit down! Order!
1677
01:40:48,418 --> 01:40:50,458
Thank you very, very,
very much, judge.
1678
01:40:50,503 --> 01:40:53,303
You should try some of this walnut.
It's off my own tree, you know.
1679
01:40:53,339 --> 01:40:55,179
- That's a walnut?
- Oh, yes, yes.
1680
01:40:55,258 --> 01:40:57,388
Your honor, this is outrageous!
I leave it to you...
1681
01:40:57,469 --> 01:40:59,509
Smart move.
Case dismissed.
1682
01:40:59,596 --> 01:41:02,886
That isn't what I meant!
1683
01:41:12,233 --> 01:41:14,533
Come on, pop.
Don't take it so hard.
1684
01:41:14,611 --> 01:41:18,241
I'm not crying, you blasted nitwit!
It's these onions!
1685
01:41:45,433 --> 01:41:48,103
Of course, I don't have
anything against science, mind you.
1686
01:41:48,186 --> 01:41:49,914
As a matter of fact,
I'm crazy about it, but...
1687
01:41:49,938 --> 01:41:51,148
Betsy.
1688
01:41:51,189 --> 01:41:53,667
Offhand, can you name one thing that
science hasn't improved upon,
1689
01:41:53,691 --> 01:41:55,531
one way or another?
1690
01:41:55,568 --> 01:41:59,408
- Offhand, I think I can.
- All right, what?
1691
01:42:00,073 --> 01:42:01,703
Oh!
1692
01:42:02,033 --> 01:42:03,793
I guess I'll have
to go along with that.
139318
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