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1
00:00:01,135 --> 00:00:04,636
Hi, I'm here to pick up
my prescription prenatals.
2
00:00:04,638 --> 00:00:05,871
Right now,
I'm pre-prenatal,
3
00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:07,940
but I hope to be natal
very soon.
4
00:00:07,942 --> 00:00:08,941
All right,
picked up a bunch
5
00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:10,476
of pregnancy
tests and these.
6
00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:13,545
Because, come on!
7
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:14,780
How 'bout this one?
8
00:00:14,782 --> 00:00:16,782
No, that one says
"99% accurate."
9
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:18,984
More like 98-- and they
spelled "accurate" wrong,
10
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:20,719
so I'm out.
11
00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,054
How long have you
and your husband been trying?
12
00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:23,355
Oh, he's not
my husband.
13
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,623
Lesbian.
14
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:25,958
Big time.
15
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,226
He's my best friend.
16
00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:28,460
We're doing it
together.
17
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:29,928
I mean, I'm not
"doing it" with him,
18
00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:32,965
'cause then I wouldn't
be a very good lesbian.
19
00:00:32,967 --> 00:00:35,234
I'm doing it
with a plastic cup.
20
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:39,104
And what we do is
not dishwasher safe.
21
00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:40,939
And I know we may not
be everyone's idea
22
00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:42,441
of a traditional family.
23
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,443
What's untraditional
about a lesbian
24
00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:46,145
and a fighter pilot
having a baby?
25
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:48,447
He is not
a fighter pilot.
26
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,449
But my point is,
we're still good people
27
00:00:50,451 --> 00:00:52,284
with solid values.
28
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:53,952
Thank you.
29
00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:55,454
Um, you didn't
pay for that.
30
00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:56,822
Run!
31
00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:02,027
¶ Ooh ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ooh ooh ¶
32
00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:05,397
¶¶
33
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:10,402
Okay, I peed on it!
34
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,870
A full five seconds
on the stick
35
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,405
and three on my hand,
which reaffirmed
36
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:16,041
I am not
that type of girl.
37
00:01:16,043 --> 00:01:18,243
That's because
you hover.
38
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,813
Who hovers
when they pee at home?
39
00:01:20,815 --> 00:01:23,482
I do!
Because I live with you.
40
00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:25,284
You pee like
you're hula hooping.
41
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:30,556
Okay, so if the test
shows a smiley face,
42
00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:32,191
we're pregnant.
Mm-hmm.
43
00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:34,359
Luke, you're ready
for this, right?
44
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:35,994
'Cause I really think
it worked this time,
45
00:01:35,996 --> 00:01:38,163
and having a baby
is a huge commitment.
46
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:39,765
Uh, I can
make a commitment.
47
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:43,902
I'm in a pretty serious
relationship with that cup.
48
00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:46,271
Buddy, you never even
let a girl stay the night.
49
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,006
I'm saving my mornings
for someone special.
50
00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:49,374
Like a baby?
'Cause, you know,
51
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,210
they have to be fed
every three hours,
52
00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:53,011
and if you don't keep 'em on
a schedule, they get fussy...
53
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:54,847
So you're a baby?
54
00:01:54,849 --> 00:01:56,682
I'm serious.
55
00:01:56,684 --> 00:01:58,383
I'm committed.
We've gone over this.
56
00:01:58,385 --> 00:02:01,520
It's going to be you,
me, and the teeny-tiny.
57
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,956
I promise.
And, look...
58
00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:06,992
I got you something...
59
00:02:06,994 --> 00:02:08,927
How stupid is this?
60
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:11,497
So stupid!
Ooh!
61
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:13,065
How dumb are these?
62
00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:14,666
Ohh, so dumb.
63
00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,268
I mean, I don't know if
this green works with this blue.
64
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:17,703
But they're so dumb!
65
00:02:18,873 --> 00:02:20,873
Oh, I want
a stupid baby.
66
00:02:20,875 --> 00:02:22,508
I mean,
not stupid stupid.
67
00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,977
That's why I'm taking
folic acid.
68
00:02:24,979 --> 00:02:26,478
And why I'm having
the baby with you.
69
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,713
'Cause you're smarter
than you look.
70
00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:30,682
I mean, you knew
I was gay before I did.
71
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:33,352
You wore a top hat
to prom.
72
00:02:34,688 --> 00:02:36,421
It matched my tux.
73
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,025
And, sure, I should have
known I was gay
74
00:02:40,027 --> 00:02:42,361
when I named
my cat Ellen.
75
00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:46,498
But you brought it
to my attention.
76
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,900
You're a good person,
and I hope our baby
77
00:02:47,902 --> 00:02:49,401
takes after you.
78
00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:51,136
Well, I hope our baby
takes after you,
79
00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:53,172
because I have a really
good feeling about this.
80
00:02:53,174 --> 00:02:54,573
Me, too--
this one is the one.
81
00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:01,880
It's not a smiley face,
82
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:04,149
unless it's
a German person smiling.
83
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,553
It's negative.
84
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,058
I'm sorry.
85
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:15,994
Do you wanna cry
86
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:19,097
or bury yourself
in a project?
87
00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:21,567
I can drive you
to The Container Store.
88
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,002
No...
89
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,938
But maybe we could
paint that wall
90
00:03:25,940 --> 00:03:27,673
a fun accent color.
91
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:30,809
There she is.
That's my girl.
92
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:32,077
Damn it!
93
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:34,012
Hey...
94
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,614
It'll happen
when it's meant to.
95
00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:37,249
No, I just got a little
of your pee on me.
96
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,589
¶¶
97
00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:45,224
I'm sorry, Sissy.
98
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,859
I know how it must have
felt not to get pregnant.
99
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:50,529
That's how I felt when
I got pregnant.
100
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:53,365
How are you
a social worker?
101
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:55,434
Look, children
are a blessing.
102
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,135
But they ruin
your life.
103
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:59,037
And I love our daughter.
104
00:03:59,039 --> 00:04:00,372
She's my angel.
105
00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:03,108
I'd lift a burning car
to save her.
106
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,576
But I hate her.
107
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:09,548
She's just not
a cool person.
108
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,717
So just try to have
a good time tonight, okay?
109
00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:13,185
Live it up.
110
00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:15,187
Maybe they're right
about livin' it up.
111
00:04:15,189 --> 00:04:17,923
I mean, of course I wish
I was pregnant, but I'm not.
112
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,858
Let's have one of our
legendary nights.
113
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:21,793
Remember when we
stole your dad's pickup
114
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:23,929
and we drove to Vegas,
but we just stayed in the car
115
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:26,064
'cause we were too young
to do anything?
116
00:04:26,066 --> 00:04:27,933
We saw stuff
out the window, though.
117
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,968
Yeah, we did.
118
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,737
Now, go get me
a glass of white wine,
119
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:33,171
and then
let's get crazy.
120
00:04:35,609 --> 00:04:38,477
Hey, can I have a...
chardonnay for my friend,
121
00:04:38,479 --> 00:04:41,546
and, uh, something a guy
would drink for me.
122
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:43,448
Oh, sorry, I don't work here.
123
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,150
I just got tired of
waiting for the bartender.
124
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:47,152
So I hopped back here
to mix myself a drink.
125
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:48,887
So far, I've earned $30.
126
00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:50,789
And then I found out there
was a drinking age here.
127
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:51,990
Oops!
128
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:55,394
I always wanted
to jump behind a bar.
129
00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:56,828
Well, get back here then.
130
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,330
Yeah?
131
00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:07,039
Guess I swept you
off your feet.
132
00:05:07,041 --> 00:05:10,175
I was gonna say I fell
pretty hard for you.
133
00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:12,811
But instead, I'm asking myself
if I have a concussion.
134
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,379
Are you all right?
135
00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:15,480
Are you British?
136
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:16,481
How'd you guess?
137
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,183
My thick British accent?
138
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:19,184
Or my wonky back tooth
139
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:20,886
running parallel
to my gums?
140
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,155
I'm Prudence.
141
00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:24,756
You're pretty,
Prudence.
142
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,591
I'm Pruke.
143
00:05:26,593 --> 00:05:28,260
I mean Luke.
144
00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:29,928
I have
a concussion!
145
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:32,164
You're still shaking
my hand, Luke.
146
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:33,532
Uh, I'm sorry.
147
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,934
I didn't say
you had to let go.
148
00:05:37,271 --> 00:05:38,570
Uhh, where is Luke
with my "drank"?
149
00:05:38,572 --> 00:05:39,838
Sissy...
Hmm?
150
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,274
If it's white wine,
it's not a "drank."
151
00:05:42,276 --> 00:05:45,243
There he is,
with that boob-tender.
152
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,347
Do you want
to go out sometime?
153
00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:50,882
I'm on a plane back
to England on Monday.
154
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:53,018
I tend not to stay
in one place for too long.
155
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,120
So how about right now?
Let's dance.
156
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:56,221
Oh, I don't dance.
157
00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:57,956
That's kind of
my "thing."
158
00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:01,793
Your "thing" is a thing
you don't actually do?
159
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:04,596
Well, you'd never
jumped over a bar before,
160
00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:07,099
and that worked out
pretty well for you.
161
00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:10,168
¶¶
162
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:15,474
Are you dancing?
163
00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:17,576
I think so.
164
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,444
I've tried to get him
to dance with me forever.
165
00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:21,179
I once took him to
a Black Eyed Peas concert,
166
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:23,815
and he did not
"get it started" in there.
167
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,584
I think they
look cute together.
168
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:26,718
Maybe "Haircut"
over there
169
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,487
is finally ready
for a girlfriend.
170
00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:30,689
Please, he'll never
see her again.
171
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,659
Lovely morning,
isn't it?
172
00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:37,295
Would you like
some tea?
173
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:38,497
I found your saucers.
174
00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:40,665
I was just looking
for some big cups.
175
00:06:40,667 --> 00:06:43,869
Oh, I think
you found them.
176
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:49,741
I'm sorry,
you are...
177
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:52,043
100% nude.
178
00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:53,512
So naked.
179
00:06:55,382 --> 00:06:57,048
D-Does Luke know
that you're still here?
180
00:06:57,050 --> 00:06:58,150
He asked me to stay!
181
00:06:58,152 --> 00:06:59,217
No!
Yeah!
182
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,786
What?!
Oh, come on.
183
00:07:00,788 --> 00:07:03,021
It's not like you've never
seen a naked woman before.
184
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,990
I guess I'm just used
to earning it.
185
00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:07,192
Or YouPorning it.
186
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:08,994
How would I do
in the lesbian market?
187
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:11,229
I don't think I've
ever been appraised.
188
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:12,330
You'd do good...
189
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,800
Y-You'd do really,
really good.
190
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,035
Uh, maybe don't sit!
191
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:20,505
Whoo hoo, vagina
right on the chair.
192
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,674
Are you always
this uptight?
193
00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:23,675
Do you know what you need?
194
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:25,744
I know that
you need a robe.
195
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:28,980
Or maybe three
strategically-placed leaves.
196
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,515
You need a colonic.
What?!
197
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:31,516
Yes!
No!
198
00:07:31,518 --> 00:07:32,517
It will loosen you up!
199
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,252
I don't need a colonic!
200
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:35,987
I eat 30 grams
of fiber a day,
201
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:38,156
and then I knock it down
to 25 on weekends and holidays.
202
00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:40,692
I am plenty loose!
203
00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:43,094
I'm sorry.
I've offended you.
204
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,996
Let me give you a hug.
No, that's okay.
205
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,598
Oh, I'm hugging you.
No, please
don't come near me.
206
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,166
I don't, I re--
207
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:53,605
Wow, vagina
right on my leg.
208
00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:56,107
I'm starting to think you're
not a very good lesbian.
209
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:59,978
¶¶
210
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,279
So this
is The Bowl Hole.
211
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:02,647
My grandfather built it.
212
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,182
He wanted to leave it
to my father,
213
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,084
but my father was
too busy leaving my mother,
214
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,420
so now I own the place!
215
00:08:08,422 --> 00:08:10,522
Is bowling popular
in England?
216
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:14,593
No... but getting drunk
and rolling stuff is.
217
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:15,961
I love this place,
218
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:19,097
but my real passion
is this.
219
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:20,765
It's my novel.
220
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,367
It's about the last
remaining humans
221
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,302
after the android
uprising.
222
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:25,704
You're kidding!
223
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,339
I love sci-fi!
224
00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:28,707
I even keep
extra cash on me
225
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:31,510
for when the machines
take over.
226
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:34,813
You are
a magical creature.
227
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:36,982
You're like a unicorn
I'm allowed to have sex with.
228
00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:40,986
Hey!
229
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:42,387
Where are you?
I'm at the paint store.
230
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:44,556
Ohh, sorry,
I lost track of time.
231
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:45,824
Actually, I didn't
lose it.
232
00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:47,359
I know where I put it.
233
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:49,861
But we had
a paint date... ooh!
234
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,197
And I picked out
our fun accent color.
235
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,533
"Distant Grey."
236
00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:56,935
Sounds fun... but I'm
hanging with Prudence,
237
00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:59,538
and kind of doing
"A Day in the Life of Luke."
238
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:00,639
Prudence?
The nudist?
239
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:01,873
You're still with her?
240
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,543
Yeah, and we had
a pretty amazing day.
241
00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:07,712
We sat at that cafe
on Franklin and people-watched.
242
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:12,050
We played "Gay or British?"
and she is really good.
243
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,085
But that's our thing.
244
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:15,253
All right,
how 'bout this?
245
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:16,821
Prudence and I
will wake up,
246
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,823
paint the wall before
you even get a chance
247
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:21,726
to post your morning coffee
on Instagram.
248
00:09:21,728 --> 00:09:23,495
So she's spending
the night again?
249
00:09:23,497 --> 00:09:24,963
Listen, Lizzy,
I'm sorry,
250
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,331
I feel like
I'm being rude here.
251
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:27,566
Well, it is kind of rude.
252
00:09:27,568 --> 00:09:29,234
I mean, you
stood me up and--
253
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:31,469
No, I meant to Prudence.
Bye!
254
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,906
So what'll it be?
255
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:38,176
What color says,
"I'm losing my best friend?"
256
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:39,311
Swiss Coffee.
257
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:42,447
Prudence...
258
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:44,349
this is Marcus,
professional bowler
259
00:09:44,351 --> 00:09:45,750
and our lane mechanic.
260
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,786
I've never met a professional
athlete before.
261
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:49,120
Are you quite famous?
262
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:53,058
I've been called
the LeBron of bowling.
263
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:54,292
The only difference
is LeBron makes
264
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,794
100 mil and drives
a Bugatti.
265
00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:56,995
I make 20 grand
and take the bus.
266
00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:59,197
Just lifestyle choices,
really.
267
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:00,999
I haven't the faintest clue
who LeBron is,
268
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:02,701
but he sounds
like a real show-off.
269
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:04,536
He's an incredible
basketball player.
270
00:10:04,538 --> 00:10:07,672
Well, to me, he is just
the Marcus of basketball.
271
00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:09,007
I love her.
272
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:13,345
Lock it down...
or somebody else will.
273
00:10:13,347 --> 00:10:15,046
Later, baby.
274
00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:17,849
Listen, Prudence...
275
00:10:17,851 --> 00:10:19,384
I don't want you
to leave.
276
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:21,353
So I have a proposal.
277
00:10:21,355 --> 00:10:22,721
You about to get down
on one knee?
278
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:25,790
Well, this is gonna
seem less good now.
279
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,126
I was gonna say
I'll go splitsies
280
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,694
on a new ticket
so you can stay longer.
281
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:31,630
I'm afraid
that's not possible.
282
00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:35,300
What am I sayin'?
I'll pay two-thirds.
283
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,135
Luke, I need
to tell you something.
284
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,571
If you're gonna tell me
you were born a man...
285
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:44,643
I am oddly
okay with that.
286
00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:48,313
No...
the thing is,
287
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,814
I'm an alien.
288
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,784
Oh, I knew you were
too hot to be human.
289
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:55,320
No, like
an illegal alien.
290
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,555
Though I've often wished
I was an "alien" alien,
291
00:10:57,557 --> 00:10:58,890
because who doesn't
want a smaller mouth
292
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,692
that comes out
of their bigger mouth?
293
00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:05,497
But I'm just a girl from
dodgy Splitwick, England.
294
00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:08,466
And I have to go back
for good, because...
295
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:10,602
I'm being deported.
296
00:11:10,604 --> 00:11:13,238
Wow, deported?
297
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,906
That's kind of
bad-ass.
298
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:17,842
Also breaks my heart.
299
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,077
I'm sorry.
300
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:20,945
I wish I'd met you
months ago.
301
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:22,580
Well, not
too many months ago,
302
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:24,315
because I was working on
the beach in the Bahamas,
303
00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:28,086
giving white people
black people braids.
304
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:31,623
What do you think about
spending every moment with me
305
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:34,526
before you're taken away
in handcuffs?
306
00:11:34,528 --> 00:11:36,828
Think it sounds
a bit codependent.
307
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,363
Let's do it!
308
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,667
I think
I love you.
309
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:45,937
I might
love you, too.
310
00:11:48,642 --> 00:11:50,275
What the hell
color is this?
311
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:53,611
Isn't it perfect?
312
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:57,182
It's bold,
it's warm, it's sexy--
313
00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:58,349
It's too loud.
314
00:11:58,351 --> 00:11:59,350
Oh...
315
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:01,219
Well, isn't it perfect?
316
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:05,056
It's bold,
it's warm, it's sexy...
317
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,692
I'm talking about
the paint, Prudence.
318
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:09,060
Oh, well,
I just thought
319
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,729
the color you wanted...
320
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:12,630
how do
I put this...
321
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:14,065
made me feel lonely.
322
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,401
Like I wanted to hang myself
with a belt.
323
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,970
Whereas this adds
a much-needed pop!
324
00:12:18,972 --> 00:12:21,940
Distant Grey has
a lot of pop.
325
00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:23,141
I agree with her.
326
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:24,476
Thank you.
327
00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:26,478
Excuse me? I mean,
I think he meant--
328
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,446
I meant Prudence.
Excuse me?
329
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,382
I get it, Lizzy.
330
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:33,485
It's not the color
you thought you wanted.
331
00:12:33,487 --> 00:12:35,220
I felt that way
when my mum
332
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,088
had my fifth
and sixth sister.
333
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,556
I wanted a brother.
334
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:39,824
But eventually,
I stopped
335
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:41,493
pushing my sisters
down the stairs,
336
00:12:41,495 --> 00:12:44,729
and now I love
one of them so much.
337
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,134
Just leave it up
for a week.
338
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:50,502
and if you don't
hang yourself,
339
00:12:50,504 --> 00:12:52,537
there's your color!
340
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,973
This is
my accent wall,
341
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,040
and you don't get
to paint it
342
00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:57,542
just 'cause
you have an accent.
343
00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:59,577
This is my house!
344
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:02,680
It's our house,
and I like it.
345
00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:04,582
Right, I'm gonna
let you two have a spat.
346
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:06,851
This is not a spat,
we don't have spats.
347
00:13:06,853 --> 00:13:08,853
Right then, I'll just
go get cleaned up.
348
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:11,422
Don't get too clean.
I like you a little dirty.
349
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,925
Gross.
350
00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:16,094
Dude,
what's your problem?
351
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:17,562
All of a sudden,
I have a new roommate
352
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,664
with no taste taking over
the place,
353
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:20,932
and I had to buy
vagina coasters
354
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:23,535
for all the furniture.
355
00:13:23,537 --> 00:13:26,104
Calm down, she goes back
to England on Monday.
356
00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:27,205
Thank God!
357
00:13:27,207 --> 00:13:28,506
"Thank God"?
It's been the best
358
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:29,574
few days of my life.
359
00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:30,608
What is
this love affair
360
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:31,876
you're having
with this girl?
361
00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:34,179
Um, a love affair?
362
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:35,747
Oh, please,
you just met her.
363
00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:37,015
You don't love her.
364
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:39,384
Oh, I'm sorry,
are you an expert on love?
365
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:42,020
Is your very-serious girlfriend
in your bedroom right now?
366
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:43,688
Okay, you don't
have to be bitchy.
367
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:47,492
Well, that's the bitch
calling the bitch a bitch.
368
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:48,960
So is that
what I am now?
369
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,728
'Cause I thought
I was your best friend.
370
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:51,796
Maybe if you weren't
so rigid,
371
00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:52,964
you'd meet somebody, too.
372
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:54,966
But you don't
give people a chance.
373
00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:57,101
There's more to Prudence
than what you've seen.
374
00:14:00,774 --> 00:14:02,373
Where's she hiding it?
375
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:10,215
Here you go.
Enjoy.
376
00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:11,683
Try not to get
couscous on the floor,
377
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:13,117
'cause I have to pick up
every kernel individually,
378
00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:16,054
which I don't mind,
but it's time-consuming.
379
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:19,724
Lizzy, you look like
you could use a glass of wine.
380
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:22,694
Oh, my God, I sound like
a white woman.
381
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,696
I don't need wine--
I'm fine, never been better.
382
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,030
Sorry for the hideous
wall color.
383
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,498
I think it pops.
Shut up.
384
00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:32,804
Where's Luke?
Not that you're not
super-fun tonight.
385
00:14:32,806 --> 00:14:34,973
I don't know,
but I need to talk to him,
386
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,941
and he's not answering
any of my calls.
387
00:14:36,943 --> 00:14:39,143
Thank God Prudence is
going back to England tomorrow
388
00:14:39,145 --> 00:14:40,678
with her little
sex doll body
389
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,214
and her
effortless whimsy,
390
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,283
and I'll finally
get Luke back.
391
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:47,886
Sissy, you sound like
a jealous ex-wife.
392
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,854
What? No, I don't,
I'm not jealous--
393
00:14:49,856 --> 00:14:52,123
Wait, why did
you say ex-wife?
394
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,825
Hey, sorry we're late,
395
00:14:53,827 --> 00:14:55,693
Lizzy, I know
I've been M.I.A., smells like
396
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:57,295
your couscous came out great,
but we need to talk,
397
00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:58,997
'cause Prudence and I
had a legendary night.
398
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,698
We do need to talk,
and it needs to be in private.
399
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:02,700
Prudence, is that
a ring on your finger?
400
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:04,836
You did not
get engaged.
401
00:15:04,838 --> 00:15:06,504
We did not
get engaged.
402
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,206
We got married!
You got married?!
403
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,775
We got married!
In Vegas!
404
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:15,213
Great things can happen
when you get out of the car.
405
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:16,714
Congrats, man,
let's have a toast.
406
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:17,815
Lizzy,
you need wine.
407
00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:19,918
No, I don't.
408
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,219
Luke,
are you insane?
409
00:15:21,221 --> 00:15:22,720
Seriously, have you
lost your mind?
410
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,322
You don't know
the first thing about her.
411
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:25,723
She's definitely a liar.
412
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:28,226
Hot chicks don't
like sci-fi.
413
00:15:28,228 --> 00:15:29,894
Look, I know
it's kind of sudden,
414
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,529
but I love Prudence,
and when she told me
415
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,731
she was being deported,
I knew I had to lock it down.
416
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:34,732
Lizzy,
have some wine.
417
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:35,934
I'm not having wine.
418
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:38,036
See, there's that
uptight thing again.
419
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:40,505
I'm not uptight.
420
00:15:40,507 --> 00:15:42,173
I'm pregnant!
421
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:46,077
Then I'm having
her wine.
422
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:49,113
You're pregnant?
423
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,315
I'm pregnant.
424
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,851
Congrats, Lizzy!
425
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:55,787
I so admire women who
can't find partners
426
00:15:55,789 --> 00:15:57,889
having babies
all on their own!
427
00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:00,692
It's not
immaculate conception.
428
00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:02,994
She's not having
the next Jesus.
429
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,697
How cool would
that be, though?
430
00:16:05,699 --> 00:16:08,466
I mean, Jesus?
Now that's a nephew.
431
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:11,502
Prudence,
Luke is the father.
432
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,171
No, Lizzy.
433
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:15,239
Darth Vader's
the father.
434
00:16:17,043 --> 00:16:18,276
She's talking about me,
435
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:20,211
but I love that
you know that.
436
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,513
It's your baby?
437
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,849
Yeah, we--
we had a plan.
438
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:26,651
If we didn't have
kids by 30,
439
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,052
we were gonna
have 'em together.
440
00:16:29,122 --> 00:16:30,555
Oh, my God.
441
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:34,359
I'm gonna be a dad.
442
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:36,027
Aah!
443
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:38,696
And I'm a husband.
444
00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:40,865
Aah!
445
00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:44,235
Look at me
making my life complete.
446
00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:45,636
Mazel tov, man.
447
00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,138
Honey.
448
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:48,740
You didn't maybe
wanna mention
449
00:16:48,742 --> 00:16:51,342
this baby plan to me
before right this minute?
450
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:52,744
I'm your wife.
451
00:16:52,746 --> 00:16:54,145
I was gonna tell you,
but the subject
452
00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:55,380
hadn't come up yet.
453
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:56,547
Hey, you've know her
less than a week.
454
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:59,283
A Tuesday hasn't
even come up yet.
455
00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:00,551
She wants a green card,
Luke.
456
00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:02,787
Have you seen
any movie ever?
457
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:05,790
You think I'm
Gerard Depardieu-ing him?
458
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,658
I think you already did.
459
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:10,061
Luke,
we're having a baby.
460
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:11,295
You made a commitment.
461
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:12,296
I didn't know
you were pregnant
462
00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:13,631
until two seconds ago.
463
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,333
And if you'd known
she was pregnant?
464
00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:16,667
What then?
465
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,169
I...
466
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:20,972
I don't know.
467
00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:25,777
That's not great.
468
00:17:25,779 --> 00:17:28,980
Yeah, you make
something up, at least.
469
00:17:28,982 --> 00:17:30,681
We'll figure it out.
We'll be one big happy.
470
00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:31,783
No, we won't.
471
00:17:31,785 --> 00:17:33,151
We're having
a family, Luke.
472
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,652
And we have to protect it,
we can't just let
473
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:35,987
any stranger
in the door,
474
00:17:35,989 --> 00:17:39,123
even a sexy stranger
who let you in her door.
475
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:42,160
Look, Lizzy,
you don't really know me.
476
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:43,928
And I am many things.
477
00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:45,863
An open water
swimmer,
478
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,398
decent surgeon,
479
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,101
and a part-time
techno DJ.
480
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:53,204
I am no liar, and I am
no green card slut.
481
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:54,505
But you're right,
482
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,541
a baby does
trump everything.
483
00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:57,875
Including me,
so I'm just
484
00:17:57,877 --> 00:17:59,110
gonna give you
both some time
485
00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:00,545
to sort things out.
486
00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:03,114
Prudence,
no, just wait--
487
00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:05,183
Nice, Lizzy!
Very nice.
488
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:10,955
Can you believe him?
489
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:12,390
Let's be honest.
490
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:14,525
Your baby plan had
some holes in it
491
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:16,427
from the beginning.
492
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,196
She's been waiting
to say that.
493
00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:21,499
Said it twice
on the car ride over.
494
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,474
¶¶
495
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,309
Hey, are you okay?
496
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:32,677
Where were you?
Where's Prudence?
497
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:34,879
What do you care?
498
00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:36,714
Are you drunk?
499
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:37,915
Yeah.
500
00:18:40,053 --> 00:18:41,819
We broke up.
501
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:43,855
We're never
gonna see a Tuesday.
502
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:47,358
She's on the way
to the airport.
503
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,827
You broke up?
504
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,229
But you're married.
505
00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:54,732
Only legally and because
I think she's awesome.
506
00:18:55,869 --> 00:18:57,235
But you're pregnant,
507
00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:59,170
and I made a commitment
to you first.
508
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:01,239
You did, but...
509
00:19:01,241 --> 00:19:04,008
I have to learn
to share you.
510
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:06,177
Okay,
and it's hard for me.
511
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:09,514
'Cause it's just been
the two of us for so long.
512
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:12,917
And I guess I got
a little jealous.
513
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:13,251
What?
Huh?
514
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,323
Look, I can't expect you
to stay single forever.
515
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,859
I hope I don't
stay single forever.
516
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:23,895
You deserve
to be happy.
517
00:19:23,897 --> 00:19:25,496
Even if the person
that makes you happy
518
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:27,732
makes me crazy.
519
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:29,700
I told her I felt
really bad.
520
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:30,868
You know
what she said?
521
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:32,403
That you need
a colonic?
522
00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:36,073
No. She said
she thought
523
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:37,842
what we're doing
is amazing.
524
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,377
Oh, really?
525
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:41,712
I mean, I don't know if
I'd call it amazing, but...
526
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:43,514
And she said
she respected you
527
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,016
because you protect
your family
528
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,517
against things
you see as a threat.
529
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:48,252
Even if it's her.
530
00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:50,221
Or androids.
531
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:51,455
She liked my book.
532
00:19:51,457 --> 00:19:53,090
Oh.
533
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:55,526
And she said you're
gonna be a great mom.
534
00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:58,496
And then we did shots.
535
00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:05,736
I mean, sure, she's not
the woman of my dreams
536
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:07,972
for your dreams,
but...
537
00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:12,443
I'm not
an expert on love.
538
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,579
And maybe you shouldn't
let her get on that plane.
539
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,714
What-- what are
you talking about?
540
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,717
Oh, my God, have you
seen any movie ever?
541
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:29,060
Excuse me, excuse me,
I'm pregnant.
542
00:20:29,062 --> 00:20:31,028
I'm allowed to go
where I need to go.
543
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:32,563
Prudence!
544
00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,966
Lizzy!
What're you doing here?
545
00:20:34,968 --> 00:20:36,867
I'm locking it down,
I'm getting you back.
546
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:38,970
Why?
You don't even like me.
547
00:20:38,972 --> 00:20:41,205
I know.
548
00:20:41,207 --> 00:20:42,840
But Luke loves you.
549
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:44,408
And I love him.
550
00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:49,013
When I came out,
he was the only person
551
00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,581
that accepted me
for who I was.
552
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:51,682
I love that
about him.
553
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:54,552
I loved it first, but...
554
00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:56,854
it's my turn to do
the accepting.
555
00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:58,656
But you two are
having a baby.
556
00:20:58,658 --> 00:20:59,824
And you made it pretty clear
557
00:20:59,826 --> 00:21:01,092
there's no room for me
in your house.
558
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:02,426
I will make room, okay?
559
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:04,662
A family tree has
a lot of branches.
560
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:06,030
I don't know.
561
00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:07,832
Prudence...
562
00:21:10,069 --> 00:21:12,136
Prudence?
563
00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:15,539
Come be a branch
564
00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:19,443
and make the father
of my unborn branch
565
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:22,947
the happiest branch alive.
566
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:26,851
Are you sure?
567
00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:30,454
Not really.
568
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:33,658
Hey, look,
I got you something.
569
00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:36,927
Hello, hubby.
Aah!
570
00:21:38,464 --> 00:21:39,797
Oh, I did the thing
that every guy
571
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,165
from every movie
ever does.
572
00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:42,967
I went to the airport,
I got the girl--
573
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:46,804
I mean, I got her for you,
but, still, it felt good.
574
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,439
Everyone clapped,
and I hope it's not weird,
575
00:21:48,441 --> 00:21:49,774
but I kissed her.
576
00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:51,175
Because it's
what the crowd wanted.
577
00:21:53,112 --> 00:21:55,146
How good of a kisser
is she?
578
00:21:55,148 --> 00:21:56,514
She was good,
she was really--
579
00:21:56,516 --> 00:21:59,116
it was really good.
580
00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:00,685
Thank you.
581
00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:04,221
So, how's all this
gonna work?
582
00:22:04,223 --> 00:22:06,023
I have no idea.
583
00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:07,558
I've got loads
of ideas.
584
00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,894
I could be your midwife,
and your nanny.
585
00:22:09,896 --> 00:22:11,796
And with the right tools,
your pediatrician.
586
00:22:11,798 --> 00:22:14,031
Yeah, that is
never gonna--
587
00:22:14,033 --> 00:22:15,433
Well, we'll
talk about it.
588
00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:18,302
I love you.
589
00:22:18,304 --> 00:22:19,537
I love you too.
I love you too.
590
00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:21,372
Excuse me?
591
00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:28,145
Anyway...
40915
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