Original subtitles

Who runs head first into a rhino?

A rhino? Just the horn.

Not the entire animal.

It was right behind the door at the mayor's. Ouch!

That's illegal, you know.

Careful now, Kato, this is a natural historical piece.

Donated by a tribal head...

from Zaire.

In 1965, the municipality formed a partnership with Luputa.

And their mayor is coming here for the 50 year anniversary.

But it's seriously ugly.

A seriously ugly thing valued at 200,000 euros.

200,000 euros!

For some ivory trinket with a sharp tip?

Rhino horns aren't ivory.

In China they believe it cures cancer.

Does it?

It does, Peter.

The mayor ought to know: there's 200,000 euros on his wall.

- Don't you realise what day it is? - Tuesday.

Wrong!

- It is. My car is being tuned. - That's not what I meant.

Today is...

The anniversary of Dad's death.

Yes.

I mean...

He really pulled one on us.

Bastard.

The year has just flown by.

Even if we have had our share of mishaps.

Mishaps? It was a disaster. Without my leadership...

And the inheritance you kept drooling over.

- My vision. - Darling, that inheritance helped.

Still, I'm looking forward to our own place.

And I want my beauty centre.

Feel free to keep dreaming. 24 more hours and this is over.

I called the lawyer.

Tomorrow, he's going to verify the four of us actually live here.

Tomorrow? And you're just telling us now? The place is a mess.

Come on.

Action!

NEW TEXAS

Sweetheart.

What do you think?

Would you like one or two bedrooms?

I was thinking two, that way we have a hobby room or a kid's room.

I'm OK with that.

Can't wait to finally have some privacy.

Would you look at these stairs?

Jesus, this place is a mess.

When did you last clean the place?

A few weeks ago.

Hey. If you're having pizza, please throw the boxes in the bin.

GREEN DIVISION

What is this?

Has that wrinkle always been there?

- What? - On the wall, man.

Ah, so Jan...

Jan?

- Can I use your car...? - Forget it.

You still owe me 100 euros from last time.

True.

How was I to know that the parking was reserved for ambulances?

Thanks a lot.

- What? - No?

Your own beauty school?

Maybe I could teach there too.

Makeup art and finger painting are entirely different.

Says you.

Well... This is a disaster.

The living room: wallpaper coming off the walls.

The kitchen: condensation spots on the window.

Because Nur doesn't open the window when she's cooking pasta.

And the hallway: lamps without fittings.

That's a man's job.

Our bedroom is perfect, but yours...

The curtains are broken.

From the time Fons was playing Tarzan.

And it just goes on.

The lawyer will never believe we're actually living here.

Wait, where is that coming from?

Jesus! What was that?

OK. Wait...

- Was it still open? - No.

The opening hours were wrong.

- Hold on. - What's that? Yeah, hold on.

- Come on now, let's go. - I'm almost there. Wait.

- Yes. - All right, let's go.

- Be calm. - But I am calm...

- Yes, but... - Wait.

- But... - All right.

- The cops! - Dammit, wait.

Lights off!

Crap. Jesus, man!

What's that? Turn it off!

- Turn it off! - I am.

All right.

- OK. - All right!

- Relax, relax. - Relaxing.

- Let me do the talking. - OK.

- Everything all right, gentlemen? - Yes, mister police officer.

We bought...

a new installation and my greasy finger slipped.

It happens.

We were just at the Golden Fry.

I was trying to set the GPS and my finger slipped.

You do know the Golden Fry, right?

They're great. Excellent stuff.

- ID cards please. - Why?

- We didn't do anything wrong. - IDs.

Seriously? We need to hit our numbers.

- We've got our bonuses to think of. - Typical.

Nice picture.

I know, that haircut was fashionable back then.

Sure was...

Check this out, Pierre.

We're busted.

Damn it. Someone must have spotted the car.

- We're screwed, man. - We?

- I didn't do anything wrong. - You're kidding me.

Your car is like a fairground attraction.

- Kid! - Get over it.

- You're the kid! - Give it a rest.

- Everything seems to be fine. - There.

Have a nice evening.

And remember to wash your hands next time...

Wash your hands.

All right.

Today's the big day.

Time to convince the lawyer we've spent a year living together.

We actually have...

Yes, Kato dear. We know that.

But does he?

Don't you worry.

We'll get through this thanks to my foresight.

I have here the secret checklist of the Immigration Office.

They use this during inspections.

If they find any trace of a fake marriage...

Boom, deportation.

So we're going to...

use some reverse psychology.

I've checked all toothbrushes. Everyone has used at least one.

Peter, what's that?

Gross, man.

- Peter, did you squirt with that? - What's that?

Splashing with a sieve.

- No. I did not. - Yes, you did.

- You've been squirting. - I bloody did not.

- Sneaky squirter. - I didn't do anything.

Here's a new one.

Brush your teeth twenty times, and don't forget the back teeth.

No, twenty times like...

So...

Enough towels.

- Only one sponge? - Not everyone uses one.

Who is the lawyer going to believe: us or the official checklist?

Who removed the hair from these?

Nur, fetch some hair from the beauty parlour later.

Move it. We have more rooms to cover.

Come on.

Jan, that mirror is really important to me.

- And why do you need a mirror? - Why do you think?

Peter, remove that mirror from the ceiling.

It says here loose morals present a risk.

All right!

Sweetie, count the underwear.

Fons, make the bed messier. Stan, pick up the handkerchiefs.

- Twelve items? No summer wear? - That's included.

Less than sixteen clothing articles presents greater risk.

No one will buy that.

I still have some stuff lying around.

- Maybe we could... - Off to the kitchen.

We're nowhere near finished.

254 items.

Ten times as much as the legal minimum.

Nine and a half.

Checked and approved, no fake marriage here.

Surely the lawyer is going to give us the house. Super.

I'm not so sure. I've got a feeling we're missing something.

Please Jan, we really have lived here for a year.

You've gone through the list. Everything's fine.

Easy for you to say.

If the inheritance is cancelled, what's the big deal?

Saving a little longer for a flat.

And you...

- A bigger garage to stash trash. - Absolutely.

- And a makeup shack for the missus. - Of course.

We still have that financial hole.

We can't just fill that up.

Not if we have to start paying rent again.

Damn.

The cops are here.

No! It's...

You and your miserable clown car.

They busted me.

- Jan, no! - Stop!

It's... the cops.

It's probably the lawyer.

No. It's just a routine matter with the Immigration Office.

They're here for me.

So... no.

Stop.

I'll give you 5,000 euros to keep your mouth shut.

Out of my cut.

It's a letter.

Fons Vrancken, please report to the police ASAP?

- ASAP? - Have you been naughty again?

It's about a parking ticket. I'll pay it immediately.

OK. Family pictures.

- Now? - Of course.

We don't have a single shared photo here.

Isn't that suspicious?

Christmas, New Year, Easter, Labour Day...

Monarchy Day, the Sugar Festival.

Damn you all.

- Did we celebrate all of those? - We will from now on.

Come on!

Come on.

What?

- Join in. Now. - No, I have to...

Do you want the inheritance or not?

- Perfect. - Yep.

Jan, look. The rhino horn was stolen from city hall yesterday.

- What? - Yeah.

"The police are doing everything possible to catch the culprits..."

Oh no.

Our anniversary will be a disaster.

Must have happened yesterday, when we were there.

You...

You couldn't resist, could you?

Isn't an inheritance enough for you?

You always want more, more, more.

Now we have the cops on our case.

If they arrest you, we're done for.

365 days together, that was the deal.

Not 364.

I'm not here.

Hello, can I help you?

Yes, sure.

We were wondering if we might find Fons Vrancken here.

Yes, we'd like to see him urgently.

- I'll go and have a look. - No comment.

Vranckens don't talk to cops.

You should know that by now.

You'll probably never be a real Vrancken, though.

Now...

Mop. Or do you want to welcome the lawyer into a dirty house?

This isn't a hotel, you know.

Peter, come on...

They're onto us.

You and your stupid car.

But the cop said everything was OK, right?

Because they didn't know about the rhino horn then.

- He'll be here with a warrant soon. - No way.

Wait.

I'm not showing my face until the lawyer shows up.

Make sure no one finds the rhino horn.

- Peter. - Yes?

- I believe in you. - You do?

For once, use your head.

Leave that Christmas tree at home.

- You can do it. - All right.

So... How have things been this past year?

- Great. - We survived.

That was Mr Vrancken's intention.

Or at least, what he hoped for.

Peter, Fons!

- OK, let's start the tour, then. - Yes.

- Wow, that's a lot of pictures. - Yes.

We really did grow a lot closer.

Dinner time?

Ah, your honour.

Fons!

Maybe it's best I return tonight, when all the brothers are present.

- Oh, but Fons is in the man cave. - Where?

The... man cave.

Jan. Open up, then.

Moron.

Fons, the lawyer is here.

Fons?

These are all Mr Vrancken's old things.

Weren't you getting rid of these?

Yeah, so...

Can we talk about this later?

- Where's the fourth brother? - I'll call him.

Look, I don't know what kind of act this is,

but I get the feeling some things don't add up.

I will come back around 8pm.

If I'm not convinced you four actually live here,

then you can forget about the mansion.

Jan, it's his voicemail.

Damn it, where the hell is he?

You lying bastard.

- Priorities please. - What else are we going to uncover?

That you have a mistress? That you've run off with the money?

Mistress? I don't have a mistress.

- Guys, say something. - Not that we know of.

Besides, that couch is not great for...

Did you have sex on it?

- That wasn't the deal. - Look, Stan...

Did you really specify?

No women? Is that so confusing?

- Hey, Fons is missing. - Just like our inheritance will be.

I mean, the Vranckens'.

Nur speaking.

Damn it, Fons, where are you?

Well, here.

Where are you? Are they gone?

The lawyer is,

and if you don't get your arse over here, so is our inheritance.

Bloody hell.

Why do you do these things?

Why? To make you happy.

Do you know what that rhino horn is worth?

More than gold.

Along with the inheritance, we'd have enough for your beauty school.

If you don't get here, we'll have nothing at all.

If they catch me, I'll go to jail.

Inheritance or not, which would you prefer?

We'll get through this, honey.

You said the same a year ago, now look.

Sorry, sweetie, but...

We were so close.

If I get my hands on Fons, he'll be sorry.

Where could he be?

Honey, looks like Nur has a secret date.

- Maybe I could ask her if... - No, she'd tip him off.

And it'll be bye-bye birdie.

No.

Trace, find...

and eliminate.

Darling.

Yes?

Hey, my car!

My...

- Jan! - Not now.

Damn you!

She didn't spot you, right?

- I don't think she noticed. - Turn that off.

Hello?

Hello?

Sweetie?

That was too damn close.

- I have to go, dear. Kisses. - Kisses.

Did she just go to work?

Come on.

- Fons? - Yes.

What's your problem?

My problem?

My problem?

Damn you.

What kind of bastard are you?

You've got 54 minutes to get home,

or you can say goodbye to the inheritance.

- Serious? - What do you think?

I think he is.

We didn't go through a year of hell to end up empty-handed.

Just think for more than 2 seconds.

The cops know I pinched that rhino horn.

I'm not going to prison over some dumb inheritance.

Why do you always have to mess things up?

Pretty soon, I'm going to lose my job too.

I'm so sick of it.

After today, you are no longer my brother.

The cops are probably staking out in front of the house.

- I didn't see anything. - Of course you didn't.

- You're as blind as a bat! - Easy now!

If I go home now,

I'll be arrested, and then it's also bye-bye inheritance.

Get the picture now?

- I need to lay low. - We need to lay low.

You're right.

What if we smuggle you inside?

In that suitcase or...

Here...

With one of these wigs.

Good luck.

Come here, you fool.

The moment of truth.

A year has now passed.

Do the four brothers still live under the same roof,

sharing in happiness and heartache?

I'm only counting three.

- Well, Fons... - Yes.

I'm afraid that Fons...

- temporarily... - For the moment.

...is indisposed.

But as a government official,

I have the authority to represent him.

- I don't think so. - No, I didn't think so either.

As for the inheritance, this leaves me no other option...

- Am I late? - Fons!

It's... a long story.

Nice to meet you. Fons Vrancken.

Hello.

Yes, it's a little...

All right, let's proceed. Your identity cards, please.

Is that necessary? Isn't it evident we...?

This needs to be officially logged in the system.

- Logged... - In the system?

Thanks.

Thank you.

- Yes. - Yes.

No.

The police confiscated it and didn't return it.

They haven't... returned it.

Temporarily.

Ah, Mrs Vrancken. You were lucky we were in the neighbourhood.

Is your husband finally there?

Is that why you called? We came ASAP.

- Can't you just give me his ID? - Oh no.

No, only the holder of the card can accept it.

You only want to talk to him concerning the ID, right?

Oh, yes. Definitely.

Right?

Yes, yes.

Baby, it's OK. Nothing to worry about.

Are you sure?

Yes...

Who could have conceived of this just a year ago? Right?

All of us, under the same roof for a year.

And the year just flew by.

What a year. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

- Money or no money. - Yeah, right.

OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but...

Let's drink... to Dad!

- Yes. - Agreed.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Bastard.

Here's to many more years together.

Many more years, Peter...

A year or two at best.

Excuse me?

- We're selling. - With today's house prices?

Wait until they rise again first.

- Excuse me? I want some privacy. - And so do I.

- We know you're in a rush to get out. - Yes, and I want my own business.

Then it's settled. We're selling now, and that's that.

Jesus Christ, man.

What were you thinking?

- This is the last place they'd look. - Just hurry up.

Hey, what's this?

See? This place is perfect!

I'm not the only one who thinks so.