Original subtitles

Hey!

Oh, fuck.

Baby, they tried to break in. He was here...

Tried? So they didn't get in? Idiots.

Thankfully not, no.

They tried to force everything.

- Baby, I'm completely... - Tried to force?

Amateurs, they should have just taken out the cylinder

or used the Bulgarian method, that...

"Are you OK, Nur?" "Yes, fine thanks, Fons."

"Not too shook up?" "No, I'm OK."

Jesus!

NEW TEXAS

Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump.

Marijke Segers.

- A colleague of Jan Vrancken. - Oh, OK.

So, yes.

This is the work we commissioned? Yeah.

Nice, yeah.

It's... abstract.

No, it's not abstract.

It's a trompe-l'oeil. You need to look at it from the other side.

This is... This really is a hole.

It's supposed to be an abyss.

Hey, Peter. So pleased you're here.

- And what do you think of it? - Man, it's amazing.

Yeah?

Come here. Are you OK?

Yes, careful.

I'm always careful.

Unless you'd like me not to be.

Yeah, she even gave me her number.

- Did you see the trompe-l'oeil? - The what?

Stan's work. Hasn't anyone gone to see it?

Jan is giving a speech at the private viewing. I'll see it then.

You know, they don't ask just anyone to give a speech like that.

A seat is coming up at the culture commission.

I'm bound to get it.

I didn't know you were into that kind of thing.

An attendance bonus of 500 euros twice a month? You'd be mad not to.

Oh, locksmiths these days.

I'll be there in a minute, I had to wait until 12pm.

- Nothing I could do. - Did you lose the keys?

Didn't Fons tell you? Someone tried to break in.

They didn't get in, but the lock is wrecked.

- He got away. - Who?

No one. It's not important, darling.

Aren't you scared they might come back?

You're there on your own at night sometimes.

You should come to my self-defence class. It makes me feel much safer.

Class? I've got something much easier in mind.

Hang on.

- There. - Great, a gun.

It's not a gun, it's a taser.

Look, it's easy to hold.

You shoot, it shoots out two pins that stick in the other guy's body...

and it hits them with 50,000 volts.

- Enough to temporarily paralyse. - Yeah, not a gun.

- How did you get it? - I have my ways. Here.

No, I'm not into all that high tech stuff.

I always use my pepper spray.

Old school.

Yes, but that can be used against you. I read that...

- Help me. - This way.

Come on, rinse your eyes. No, Peter.

Idiot.

He sprayed it in his own face.

- So, when is your next lesson? - Tonight. Want to come with me?

This is all you need. Demonstration.

Oh, God! Not me!

See, that's the effect it has. Everyone's terrified of it.

Hey kid, what's this I hear?

- Two accidents in one day? - A third one walked into the column.

But what it is? A hole.

It's far too realistic.

Why is it here? I asked for a painting.

Not something in the middle of the floor.

I gave you the design and you wouldn't look at it.

You said no tits. Well do you see any tits?

Tits? No, I don't see any tits, but this wasn't the brief.

It's far too realistic.

Too realistic? The whole idea is that it looks real.

Since when is art supposed to look real?

I ordered art, not some stupid nonsense.

Hang on.

Hello.

Mr...

Yes.

This afternoon?

Don't let him see that.

Hey kid, can you draw famous people as well?

- Do Michael Jackson. - Yeah, all right.

Man, that's amazing.

What's that?

- Nothing. - Give it here.

- It's nothing. - I said, give it here.

You dimwit.

You should be doing things that earn you money

rather than those scribbles.

And be quiet, both of you.

And?

Yes.

And?

I have to appear before the commission.

But the accidents weren't your fault.

That's what you get for trying to do something for the community.

Give, give. And what do I get back?

Darling, don't take it so hard.

I'm going to make a nice panna cotta just for you.

I'm not hungry.

- Can I do anything? - You've already done enough!

Come on, Irena. I showed him my design. He wouldn't look at it.

- I was given artistic freedom. - As if I care.

I'm in the shit because of you.

You know a dictator always silences the artists first.

Shut your mouth.

See?

That's the thanks I get?

- Give it here. - Hey, give it back.

What's that?

- Cool, eh? - Cool? Yeah.

- And how much did it cost you? - 40 francs.

40 francs?

Yes, girls think it's cool and sexy.

What's sexy about it? I can't believe you paid 40 francs for it?

Hey guys, this is Kelly, the love of my life.

40 francs, you say?

- How are your eyes? - Yeah, all right now.

Tabasco hurts more if you get it in your eyes.

OK, finally.

Yes, Kim is fantastic. Shall I show you what he taught us?

Grab hold of me. You need to stand behind me.

Come on, not like that. Like this.

That's... what they taught you in the class?

Yes, and this too.

All right, excellent!

See, I don't need anyone.

Really?

I'm pleased for you.

It's scandalous!

Blaming me for the accidents! If I'd told him what to do

I'd have been standing in the way of artistic freedom.

We mustn't silence the artists.

That's where democracy ends and dictatorship begins.

I didn't submit the complaint because of the accidents.

You're behind the complaint?

You gave your brother the job

without following the proper procedure.

My nephew paints and he's far better than your brother.

Our Stan is the best in the country! He's dripping with talent.

Yes, right into that hole he painted.

That hole is a masterpiece. People will come from all over Belgium.

- Some colleague you are! - Please come in.

I doubt any attacker will be wearing such lovely aftershave.

- Well, that's the trick. - Oh, yeah?

Make sure they pass out from your smell.

OK, and again.

- OK. Distraction? - Yes, distraction.

Hey, what's going on here?

Oh, Fons. This is Kim. Kim, Fons.

Hi, nice to meet you.

I've asked Kim to give me some private lessons.

Private lessons?

- Is it a problem? - No, no.

Just a bit strange that I don't know anything about it.

- Well, now you do. - Yes.

She's in good hands, don't worry.

Would you mind? We have a lot to get on with, don't we Kim?

- Yes. - Close the door, if you don't mind.

Figuratively, Fons.

- Oh, figur... yes, figuratively. - So, this and...

Yes, and now?

And now?

Irena, have you seen the taser anywhere?

You had it on the table, didn't you? I can't find it.

Do you need it?

Maybe you need it, rather than that bloke.

If I had the choice, I know which one I'd have.

Come on, please! Watch where you leave that thing.

I almost electrocuted the soup!

Hello.

Who's that?

That's Kato, my sister-in-law. Marijke.

OK, I'll leave you two to it.

What the hell is going on upstairs?

It's Peter and his new love, Marijke.

Marijke?

What? Not a tall blonde?

I guess so, but without the heels...

Good God!

It's her!

Good God!

Yes, what is it? What do you want, Jan?

Your new woman is the one who complained about me.

She wouldn't do that. She's lovely.

How about you put in a good word for me. She might drop the complaint.

Sorry, Jan. That's between you and her. I'm not getting involved.

Jan, come on man!

- Peter, please! - What?

My career is hanging in the balance. So is the family's good name.

Sorry, Jan. I said no.

Peter...

For God's sake!

Jan?

Good... solid oak.

Marijke?

What is it?

Do you want me to put in a complaint about sexual harassment as well?

No, no.

Sorry.

NEW TEXAS

And?

What?

Are you going to tell him? He's the only one who doesn't know.

Oh yes...

Well, kid...

The complaint...

It wasn't to do with you. Sorry.

And?

And I'm sorry that I didn't look at your drawing.

Oh, the traitor is awake.

Hey, has anyone seen Marijke?

I heard a car drive off pretty early this morning.

See the kind of sly fox she is.

You're talking about my future wife, you know.

- We really hit it off. - Future wife?

Well, then she'll need to think about a divorce first.

I suppose she didn't mention that she's married.

No.

Well, she's probably gone home now to tell him.

I'll call her later.

Maybe they grew apart.

Ah, see, darling.

Everything's OK. You don't have to do that class any more.

How come?

They've caught a gang of cosmetics thieves. Idiots.

- I'm not stopping. - Yes, you are.

I'm not stopping. I'm enjoying it too much.

- I'm telling you to stop. - Hey, I'll do what I like.

Yeah? Well, that bloke isn't going to set foot in this house again.

Well, bad luck for you then. He's coming over tonight.

I'll throw him out then.

You might want to get in a couple of months of training first.

If I'd known he was your brother...

It's not as if he looks anything like you.

Can you please explain to him what a one night stand is?

With the emphasis on one.

Flowers for Marijke Segers?

Who from?

- Peter Vrancken. - Oh, just take them away.

No, hang on. Give them here.

You OK?

No. She used me.

I'm so disappointed.

And angry.

Oh, come on, kid. There's no point in being angry and bottling it all up.

I mean, those flowers must have cost you at least 75 euros.

You need to do something about it, kid.

- Bye, then. - See you soon.

Idiot, for god's sake!

I don't think so, thanks.

Hang on, you've been giving me all the signals.

What about the private lessons?

Look, I just meant private lessons.

Not the sort of private lessons you seem to have in mind.

OK, I'm sorry. See you next time?

Maybe.

Stop!

Stop!

Fons?

Baby. Baby?

Say something. Baby?

What were you thinking,

starting a fight with someone who teaches self-defence?

You barely know the theory.

You ought to be glad that I had Fons' taser.

See what he was prepared to do for me?

Risk his own life so that he didn't lose me.

- This family is crazy! - Hey, watch your mouth.

Think about what you're saying.

Or what?

Or you might need those techniques you teach.

Go on.

Kim, what kind of girl's name is that anyway?

Where am I?

What happened?

- I tasered you by accident. - Tasered?

Jesus!

Well, at least I picked a tough woman.

So where's your precious Kim?

He's gone, with his tail between his legs.

He'd better not come back.

Really?

Really.

So, in terms of timing we are right on plan.

And the budget is also in line...

Marijke!

Marijke!

I need to see you!

So, as I said: the budget is...

- Shall I stop him? - Yes, please!

With pleasure. If you'll just drop the complaint.

Forget it.

Jan.

Jan!

Marijke!

You are... You're the woman of my dreams!

We could be so happy together.

Forget your husband, forget him!

I'll drop the complaint, just stop him please!

Stop that now. You're embarrassing my colleague.

- But... - Marijke has a partner. Come on.

- I want... - I know, you want Marijke.

Did you see her face? Was I a bit over the top?

A bit, but who cares. Hey, thanks Peter.

No one comes between the Vrankens!

As I was saying: the budget is absolutely fine.

Thank you.

Amazing! Really? No joke?

Seriously, man. It's awesome.

Well done, kid. It's all done.

I wish Dad could have seen it.

Yes, I know, kid.

- Yes, it's... just like a... hole. - A hole?

- It really is a hole. - Yes, it's an abyss, isn't it, Jan?

- Well, yeah. - Like life itself.

Yes, Fons... I feel more and more like...

- Let's go for a drink, eh? - Yeah. OK.

Hey, kid, you need to be doing more drawings.

Yeah, everyone wants one.

The street value is 50 francs each, even in the playground.

I get them for 40 because you're my brother.

What? My wholesale price is 30 francs.

Those dealers are getting 40%?

Hang on, so I've paid 10 francs too much?

How was I supposed to know?

Hey!

Sit down!

How much have you earned from the badges?

From the badges? 5,000 francs.

What do you mean, from the badges?

I've got pencil cases, coffee cups, T-shirts, all sorts of stuff.

How much have you earned in total, Fons?

20,000 francs.

I'm sorry, what?

20,000?

That's unbelievable!

Well done. Really.

You with your business skills, and you with your drawings.

What about me?

You paid too much, idiot.

Fons?

My favourite show is about to start.

Sit down.

You need to give half of your profits to Stan.

What? Half? 20%.

Half, now!

Sorry, Jan. Can I speak to you for a minute?

Yes. Excuse me, please.

I've been wondering. How much can I charge for this?

Well, there's a bit of a problem.

The city has... well, reduced our annual budget.

OK, so how much do I get?

Look at it this way: anyone passing by will see your work.

You just can't buy that kind of advertising!

You're welcome.

I want to get paid for it.

OK.

Don't think that because you're my brother, I won't haul you into court.

Be serious. What are you going to pay him?

Why are you getting involved?

I'm serious. 1,000 euros. And that's mate's rates.

You're welcome, you know...

You're welcome.