Original subtitles

Hello.

- Do you know how late it is? - Well, yeah.

Overtime, you know. Yvan's supplier had problems getting there.

He's had problems for three Thursdays in a row.

It's Thursday.

Find another supplier, or else I'll do it for myself.

Don't you know I do all of that for you?

So that I can give you the best of the best,

because you were born to live like a princess.

That's right.

You had the chance tonight, but I didn't really notice you taking it.

- Say hi to the sofa for me. - Come on.

NEW TEXAS

Huh? It was right here.

Do you have the Galaktoboureko?

That's puff pastry cake for my toddlers.

A cake? But this is a bathroom. I was just about to take a bath.

I was actually about to take a bath.

And I was going to deal with a bit of hair removal.

I don't know for whom, but I want to look good.

- Right now? - I used to do it with a razor.

But after 2 days your legs are like sandpaper.

Fons doesn't like that.

And then Fons found 800 tubes of hair removal cream.

But that stank. So now I'm using wax.

That hurts, but a woman has a certain pain threshold...

Do yours need doing?

Has anyone seen the pudding?

- What? - There's pudding? Yum.

There was pudding, for the filling of the Galaktoboureko.

And that one is gone too.

- Come on, man. - That's for the pudding.

- You didn't feel like sharing? - What?

What?

- Stan no, I feel dirty. - You feel dirty.

Yes. How can you take a bath when people keep walking in?

Your family has a really different concept of privacy.

Honey, you're exaggerating.

Maybe you could fit a lock on the bathroom door.

I'm working on it.

- Do you have my marzipan? - Can't you knock?

- Don't change the subject. - Was that marzipan for...?

I know that normally you don't use marzipan

for a Galaktoboureko, but then I thought...

Well, it's not going to work now.

Another morning of the same. Nothing left in the fridge!

Who's exaggerating?

Two slices of prosciutto and a piece of Gouda.

Me too. A piece of feta like that and maybe a few slices of salami.

- But Jan was at it too. - Hey wait, that's not true.

- It is, Jan. - Don't you start.

- OK! - What is this?

If you guys think

that you could ever amount to something

for this society or for this pathetic family,

by scavenging like rats in the night and stealing other people's food

without doing anything yourselves in this whole crazy household,

then you are wrong.

Sorry, Madam.

Baby, what can I prepare for you now?

Everything's been stolen.

Come on, I'm sure that you can still prepare something delicious.

Yes, if you fancy some lettuce with some lettuce.

Lettuce?

Hey, guys, that's it.

Everyone will buy their own food.

Do we need to cook for ourselves too?

All right. And everyone eats what their wife has prepared for them.

- What about me? - Maybe we can label everything.

- And what about me? - That's a good idea, Kato.

Or our own fridge.

- Hey, and me... - That's settled, problem solved.

Everyone has their own fridge.

- Do you still have our old one? - It's still in storage.

Let's make this official. Who agrees with Kato's motion?

Everyone does their own food-sourcing, processing and consumption.

- But nobody wants this, right? - Motion adopted.

You really had a good idea, Kato.

Even about dinner, everything separate would be too much clutter.

But I didn't say that.

I tell my toddlers the same thing:

playing together is sharing together.

But we shop separately.

- Be careful there. - Yes.

I made up a schedule.

So, this is my suggestion: tonight, you do the soup,

I'll take care of the main course, Nur does dessert.

And tomorrow Nur does the main course,

I'm in charge of dessert and you'll make the soup.

- All right? - OK.

- You're taking care of that lock? - OK.

Bye for now.

Kid...

When you're fighting with your woman how do you make up?

- What have you done now? - You know...

Well...

Pamper her.

All evening. And I don't mean in bed.

Take her out or something. To a restaurant.

A restaurant.

Not some kebab place. Something posh.

Makinori, do you know it?

I think Nur will like sushi.

Sushi.

Or maybe you can try it on in unexpected places.

Oh well, speak of the devil.

Honey. Hello.

- There you are. - Been to the cemetery?

Do you feel like eating out at...

Miri...?

Come on, the...

- That new Japanese place. - Makinori?

- Makinori. - Just the two of us?

Just the two of us, the whole evening, no excuses.

- What do you say? - If you don't want to, I'll go.

OK, but no excuses. Or I'll get the chef to turn you into sushi.

Sushi? Come on, just imagine.

I made a reservation for 8pm.

Then you'll have me for the rest of the evening.

And you've got me for the rest of the night.

I can't wait.

- Nur, did you get the ribbed loin? - What?

- I sent you a text, didn't I? - Oh yes, right.

- Fons is taking me out to Makinori. - Makinori? Really?

But you're still doing dessert, right?

Sorry, new nails.

- So long. - Yes, but Nur...

Nur, my schedule.

REJECTED

Yes, Gio?

Yes.

Well, I was just carrying out the last quality check.

Top quality, man.

Yes. A bit later? Why?

8pm? Yeah, OK.

For 10% extra?

OK, sounds good.

OK. OK.

Ciao, Gio.

Damn it.

Gio, is 7pm possible? Because I need to see my customers...

15%?

OK, 8pm, that's fine.

Hey baby, isn't that a bit...

a bit early, going out for dinner at 8pm?

Well, come on.

Nowadays isn't it trendy

to do everything a bit later. Don't you agree?

- Looking for a way out? - Of course not.

When I do something, I prefer to do it well.

I read somewhere that turning up late is considered cool.

The earlier we go out to dinner, the more time we have afterwards.

Yes...

- Maybe we should still...? - All right.

Hey, kid. What's going on?

- I'm fitting a lock. - A lock?

- Is there something valuable in here? - Kato likes her privacy.

In the bathroom. Privacy?

Peter, don't forget anything. Down there, you fool.

- Is your hair done? - I just started.

All right? OK, swap over.

Peter. Come on Fons, you should be in there already.

All right.

- Nice and warm? - If feels heavenly.

- I peed in the bath. - What? Did you really?

Come on, guys. Behave!

Imbecile!

Hey, stop that.

Stop that!

Kid.

Can you help me with a delivery later? I've got an order.

- Without a driving licence? - Yes...

- Who would ever know? - I would.

- Tonight? - It's only half an hour.

Sorry, I have to DJ at a wedding party.

Come on!

Jan, you know that I invest in commodities.

It's the ideal time to sell my overstock of copper

to a buyer.

I'm going to let you in on this great opportunity.

What do you say?

Commodities?

Bonds, yes.

Certainty is locked in.

- Start looking for another idiot. - Come on.

Come on, tell him.

Fons, sorry for peeing in the bath.

- I shouldn't have done that. - That's OK.

Well done.

- Would you like a drink? - Yes.

- What are you doing? - Pasting stickers.

- There you are. - Thank you.

And, are you enjoying it?

Yes. Is it something special?

No, not really. I made it for you myself.

Like you just did in the bath.

- Oh. Wow, that looks good. - Peter, no!

- Shame on you. - What?

They're for later.

I got so stuck in traffic.

Ah, Kato, did you get my message?

- Was that you calling? - Yes.

Hey.

- That's ours, you know. - Can I have a little bit?

Go on.

Aren't you going to listen to my message?

Can't you just tell me now?

Well...

I was taking care of the main course, like you suggested.

- I didn't... - Then Nur came in.

She went grocery shopping, because she was taking care of dessert.

But Fons asked her out to dinner,

since it's Thursday, dirty dancing night.

Well, it will be especially "dirty".

But Fons isn't doing things straight.

Can you summarise?

Maybe you could get the ribbed loin.

Oh, I had a really hard day.

I'd really like to take a bath.

But I did get soup.

But...

Yes, but... What about the food?

- Sorry. - Kato?

- Sorry! - Kato, no!

Yes?

- Will you be long? - No.

My face mask needs another 10 minutes.

Then I have to peel, rinse and scrub for 30 minutes.

And then I need to brush my hair again.

- I didn't know you liked sushi. - Sure.

And I'm always willing to try something new.

I didn't think raw fish was something you liked.

It's raw fish?

Yes, and rice, and seaweed rolls.

Yeah, right. Are you crazy?

- No phone calls tonight. - And if it's urgent?

To you everything is urgent.

- Are you winning? - We'll have to see.

Try this.

OK.

Maybe you should add some Parmesan.

- Ah, yeah. Do we have any? - We don't, but...

- Look at this, I won. - Really?

- Who won? AC Milan? - Kid won on the lottery.

And how much did you win?

How much? How much did you win?

- Can we buy our own villa? - No, not yet.

- 3 euros. - Come on.

3 euros? That's funny.

You'd better go and find a job.

I had to look everywhere, but I managed to get some escalopes.

In the meantime, you guys can enjoy, but...

The mezze which I actually made for me and Jan...

But we'll share with everyone.

Who...?

OK.

That's clear.

Hey Jan, don't you have to...?

Oh, it'll blow over.

And? What's for dinner?

Isn't it soup and bread?

Aren't you cooking the escalope?

Do you think that...?

No?

No.

Hey, did you never see Dad frying an escalope?

Sweetie, there you are. I knew you wouldn't...

Hey, that escalope is there.

Irena? Sweetie?

Sweetie!

- Come on, you're exaggerating. - That's for sure.

I want the five daily meals to be OK for everyone.

Yes, but that's too much.

Expecting a few rules to be respected is also too much.

My toddlers have more respect.

You're right, sweetie. But leaving doesn't solve anything.

Living together in this place for a year is too much for me.

So leaving solves everything.

Come on, sweetie, we can use that money.

You know that.

What do you actually think is the most important thing?

That inheritance or my happiness?

- Yes... - Well?

Your happiness, sweetie.

Baby, I'm here to get some things...

Wasn't that the plan?

No, I need to...

to take a pee.

Hey, can't you wait a bit until we get to Makinori?

No, it's urgent.

Come on, I'll only be a moment. I'll be right back.

Ten tips to spice up your sex life.

No, this is really top quality.

We'll find out in a minute.

You don't trust it?

What do you think?

...after the beep.

- Voicemail again. - Come on, guys.

Fons. It's Stan again.

Can you please call back? We have a problem.

Thank you.

- Try Nur's phone again. - I'll go and talk to Irena.

I know what makes women tick.

Peter, do you think that's a good idea?

Yes, just let me give it a go.

- Irena, I just wanted to say... - No!

- Yes, but actually... - No!

- Yes, but maybe we can still...? - No!

Is that normal?

Well?

- Where's the rest? - In the car.

- Go on. - No, no, stop.

That's impossible.

- Because my wife is... - Your wife?

She can't...

You know, problems, Gio.

- I'll deal with it. OK? - OK.

- I'll be right back. - Fonzie-wonzie.

No, not now, no!

- Where are you? - Here.

No, there.

Oh, guys.

- You hide behind that car. - Come on.

Or are you playing hide and seek?

Well...

There you are.

Yes.

I have a surprise for you.

A little appetiser.

Wow.

Do you remember Gio, baby?

Oh, you. Do you remember him?

Baby.

Sorry.

You really do your best to make everyone happy.

And I should have helped you with that meat.

Yeah, sorry. I should have made fresh soup as well.

Do you know what I thought?

I thought, "Wow, Kato had a really good idea.

"If everyone looks after themselves and buys things separately,

it has to work."

For normal people that should work.

- For normal people, yes. - It even works for my toddlers.

If only they'd shown a bit of respect.

- We really respect you. - Really?

Do you actually know what respect means?

First of all, it means leaving other people's food alone.

Secondly, if you do touch, you should ask politely.

Thirdly, don't raid each other's fridges at night.

Fourthly, doing chores, taking the initiative in the household.

That's respect.

Come on, sweetie. Pick up the phone.

Fons. Why don't you pick up your phone when it's urgent?

You weren't the only one that needed him urgently.

Baby, I'm sorry.

- That deal was now or never. - And we don't have a deal?

Can I just say something?

- Irena wants to move out. - Please call back.

I had a really long and good conversation with her.

- But... - Why does Irena want to move out?

- And you're staying? - Hey, you're talking about my wife.

- What have you guys done now? - Stan.

- Stan put Parmesan on the meatballs. - It's always Stan.

- And you, and you, and you. - Me?

And you with your pudding?

Because no one helps with household stuff.

- Look who's talking. - Yes, I know.

That's why we have to make proper arrangements.

One...

- We'll show more respect. - Yes.

Two...

We'll ask about other people's fridges.

No, two: at night we won't touch other people's food.

- Yes, at night, someone else's... - Each other's food...

- No. - That's three.

- No, it's not. - That's three.

Come on, guys, please.

Idiots.

You don't even know your lines. You're not serious.

We can't do without you. What's that about?

Really Irena, it's always so delicious.

- I always want more. - Yeah!

- We just want you to come back. - Really, even me.

So?

- Hey, we'll help more. - Yes.

- We can come up with a schedule. - Yes.

- The hallway needs painting. - That's a good start.

We won't put nearly empty drinks back in the fridge,

just because we're too lazy to get new ones.

- It's mostly Peter who does that. - Jan, it's all right. It's Peter.

Peter!

If you don't carry out your chores, you don't get dessert.

Hold on.

We need to consult.

- OK, OK. - Come on.

Yes.

OK. That's good, I'll stay.

Will you grab that suitcase, that green one?

Yes, I'll grab the suitcase.

- Come on, guys. - OK. Yes.

Baby...

Perhaps it was a little bit...

Well, yes.

I have something for you.

You don't believe that you can bribe me, do you?

Yes.

Yes, actually I think I can.

There you are.

Wow, I...

How could you afford this?

Why do you think I wanted to sell that copper so much?

That's right. We still have to finalise that.

That place with the seaweed, I don't think so. I already ate.

I can't wait.

I'm going to get that raincoat really quickly.

You hottie!