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DIRTY MONEY

Directed by Denys Arcand

C'mer a minute.

So what'd he say?

He asked me what I was hanging around here for.

So...?

I told him I was working here.

I didn't let on it was to see you...

Did he believe ya?

Well, I sure wasn't gonna ask him.

Anyway I'd just like to see him stick his nose into my business.

He screws around every chance he gets.

How'd he know you were comin' down here in the first place?

Musta been one of the neighbors.

What's that for? He's paying you now?

My board.

And don't forget to look the gate.

But what's the neighbors wanna tell your husband for?

Hey Ernie, wanna gimme a lift on your handlebars?

You gonna be there Monday?

Yeh. I'll be there. See ya.

If you want me, honey, better buy a car.

Hey, how come they're eating so early?

'Cause your Uncle Arthur's in the living room.

What? Uncle Arthur?

Yeh. An' you better go in and see him. - What's he doing here?

Go ask him yourself.

I wonder what the hells he wants...

He staying' to supper?

What'd ya think the kids are eatin' early for?

Go on. He's waiting for you.

What am I supposed to say to the old man?

Haven't seen him in years.

Give some to your sister.

You finished yet?

That stuff any good?

Shut up and get on outside.

Gert. - What'd ya want?

Bring me a beer. - In a minute.

I don't wanna see you two until we finished eating.

Guess it must be five years since we seen you last.

Five years?

Lemme see...

Last time we saw you was when we baptized our youngest.

I think you're right

I don't get into town often.

You haven't changed much... still the same as ever...

Your brother Ed says the same thing.

Ed? You see him often?

Every now and again.

Here you are.

Wait a minute! - Huh?

Here...

That's for the two of you.

What's that? - Look.

For us?

My God!

I didn't give you anything since your daughter's christening

Well, I'd rather give you a little before I die

so the government doesn't get it all.

Yeh. How much is there?

$500.

Thanks.

It's not a fortune, but it might come in handy.

You're damn right!

Five hundred dollars!

He shows up after five years and hands over five hundred dollars!

It's better you should have it than the government.

Who's that?

That's Ernie, my hired hand.

He lives here?

I rent him a room.

Looks like that hired hand I used to have,

the one that kicked the cow to death.

That big blond one?

No, the short one.

He wasn't too smart.

Ernie ain't no genius.

I'm gonna get supper on the table.

You little bastard.

We got company. You're gonna eat in your room.

Good show?

Here's your plate.

What is it? Pork roast.

And turn the T.V. down.

OK.

Tell him the one about the cop and his dog.

Wait... wait a minute, just a little.

I'm gonna heat up the coffee. Here, drink this.

Are you gonna tell that story?

Yeh, go on.

Well, there was this guy...

...and he was takin' a walk

and he sees a cop sittin' up on his horse

and he goes up to them and he says...

"Nice dog you got there."

And the cop says to the guy:

"What'd you been drinking?"

And the guys says:

"Shut up! It's your horse I'm talking to."

Hey! You can't make fun of the police like that!

It's just a joke.

Still, ya better not fool around with the cops.

Tell him the one about the guy who slept with his cow.

Listen!

What's the guy's name?

Ernie?

Yeh.

I told you, he's my hired hand.

And he's not too bright?

Last year we had a cat.

That somebody gave us.

It had brown spots.

Yeh.

And one day that we were out,

Ernie had to get lunch on his own.

Would you believe that he ate

all the cat food in the fridge?

Was he sick?

He's so stupid that he never even noticed.

And that ain't all.

Next day I made him cat food sandwiches with pickles...

...and he said they were so good

that he wanted more.

I guess he's cheap to feed.

But aren't you scared to leave him alone with the kids?

He's OK. As long as he doesn't start grabbin' their ass...

You don't think he would?

Ernie? He's scared stiff.

I oughta know...

One day I went by his room bare-assed.

And instead of taking a good look, you know,

he just slammed the door and bawled like a baby.

I wouldn't cry.

Oh, you!

Ralph, give your uncle a drink.

Does he cost you much?

What'd you mean?

You give him a salary, don't you Ralph?

Yeh, $50 a week.

And I take $20 of that for his board.

Not bad.

Pretty damn good, I'd say.

So far he's bought a bike, a T.V. and a new suit.

TWO new suits!

Even Ralph don't have two new suits.

An' he buys candy and stuff for the kids.

But nothin' for us.

He's damn selfish.

Six years he's been here and, you know,

he's never given us one lousy present, not one!

What's so bad about that?

I wash and I clean and I cook for him three times a day.

An' him, he doesn't even say thank you!

He's selfish.

Damn right he's selfish!

You can't expect him to be Santa Claus on $30 a week.

$30... That's more than Ralph makes.

Just about.

Liars!

What'd you mean, liars?

$30 a week? Don't make me laugh.

You wouldn't be giving him $50

if Ralph were only taking home $30.

Lemme show you who's lying around here.

Look at my budget!

You'll see. - Take it easy, Gert.

Look! - I know what I'm talking about.

I don't need your books.

Listen, you call me a liar,

and then you won't admit you're wrong.

Ralph, tell him how much you make.

$30 a week, like you said.

What'd I tell you? Huh? Ya see?

So?

Anyway you got no reason to call Ernie selfish.

I never gave you anything before and you didn't call me selfish.

That's what you think!

You should hear what they say behind your back.

What'd ya mean?

You know what they say?

They say

you're a stingy old bastard.

They say with all the money you got,

you could help out your own family.

Take us! How can we make it with his salary?

And it's not just us thinks like that.

EVERYBODY says so!

EVERYBODY!

Why do you think they call you names?

I come to bring you $500, and you call me a stingy bastard.

What'd ya think we're gonna do with five hundred dollars?

It's better than nothing.

Look, I don't owe you one penny.

I'm your legal heir, Uncle Arthur.

What do I care? That's MY money.

As if you earned it!

Are you trying to say that's not my money?

If your wife hadn't died when she did,

you might've been out in the street yourself.

Listen, fatso! - Watch who you're calling fatso.

Your wife was fatter than me.

Fat and rich!

Without her you wouldn't have a shirt on your back.

Why don't you ask her to put you in her will?

She's dead.

What you're doing?

He can keep his money.

But he gave it to us.

I'm telling you, I don't want it.

He can go bury his money with his wife.

And tell him to get out of here!

GET OUT!!

I'll drive you home.

Don't touch me.

My truck is right outside.

You're too drunk. - You're the one who's drunk.

You gonna drive me all the way home?

What'd ya wanna drive me home for?

I can do you a favor, don't I?

And stick your nose in my business too.

You're not gonna get one cent from me.

I didn't ask for anything.

Maybe not you, but what about your wife?

Forget her, she's drunk.

She has no right to talk like that about my wife's money.

Watch it! You're gonna break your neck.

There's jelly beans and licorice and lollypops...

Get to bed.

I want some milk. - Me too.

Get to bed.

Ernie's not going to bed.

Ernie's goin' to bed after he does the dishes.

Don't knock 'em around.

Ya want some?

He left in a hurry, your uncle.

Ralph went to drive him home.

He live far?

Not too far.

Where?

Out in the country somewhere... don't know exactly.

Does he work?

He's rich... doesn't need to work.

Aren't many rich people around...

Who's that?

Yeh, can you sit with the kids tonight?

Right.

It's Gert. Is Sam there?