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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,208 [Bell Tolling] 2 00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,725 ♪ Don't be shy ♪ 3 00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:44,145 ♪ Just let your feelings roll on by ♪ 4 00:01:45,397 --> 00:01:47,857 ♪ And don't wear fear ♪ 5 00:01:47,983 --> 00:01:50,985 ♪ Or nobody will know you're there ♪ 6 00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:54,614 ♪ Just lift your head ♪ 7 00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:58,451 ♪ And let your feelings out instead ♪ 8 00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:02,079 ♪ And don't be shy ♪ 9 00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:05,458 ♪ Just let your feelings roll on by ♪ 10 00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:09,128 ♪ On by, on by ♪ 11 00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:12,965 ♪ You know, love ♪ 12 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:16,928 ♪ Is better than a song ♪ 13 00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:20,139 ♪ Love is where ♪ 14 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:23,309 ♪ All of us belong ♪ 15 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,021 ♪ So don't be shy ♪ 16 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:30,650 ♪ Just let your feelings roll on by ♪ 17 00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:34,237 ♪ And don't wear fear ♪ 18 00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:38,491 ♪ Or nobody will know you're there ♪ 19 00:02:38,617 --> 00:02:41,452 ♪ That you're there, you're there ♪ 20 00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:44,872 ♪ You're there, you're there, you're there ♪ 21 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:51,879 ♪ You're there, you're there ♪ 22 00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:09,689 ♪ Don't be shy ♪ 23 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:13,192 ♪ Just let your feelings roll on by ♪ 24 00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:16,737 ♪ And don't wear fear ♪ 25 00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:20,074 ♪ Or nobody will know you're there ♪ 26 00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:23,953 ♪ Just lift your head ♪ 27 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:27,582 ♪ And let your feelings out instead ♪ 28 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,210 ♪ No, don't be shy ♪ 29 00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:35,214 ♪ Just let your feelings roll on by ♪ 30 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:38,384 ♪ On by, on by ♪ 31 00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:41,929 ♪ Oh, on by, on by, on by ♪ 32 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:45,433 ♪ On by, on by ♪ 33 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:49,061 ♪ On by, on by ♪♪ 34 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:12,084 [Footsteps Approaching] 35 00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:16,255 [Door Unlocks, Opens] 36 00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:45,034 I suppose you think that's very funny, Harold. 37 00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:50,623 - Hello? - [Man] Hello? 38 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,124 - Fay? - Yes? 39 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:56,212 Darling, be a dear and cancel my appointment with René this afternoon. 40 00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:03,010 - [Choking] - I know he'll be furious... 41 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,304 but I've had such a trying day. 42 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:09,308 And with guests coming this evening. Oh, would you? That's sweet. 43 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,310 [Choking Continues] 44 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:14,647 Tell him I promise to be in on Tuesday. 45 00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:17,024 Thank you, Fay. You're a darling. 46 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,652 Yes. Bye. 47 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,737 Bye. 48 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,282 [Choking Gasp] 49 00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:28,452 Oh. Dinner at 8:00, Harold. 50 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:31,831 And do try and be a little more vivacious. 51 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:48,347 Of course, you know, Harold's father had a similar sense of the absurd. 52 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:52,018 I remember once in Paris, he just stepped out for cigarettes... 53 00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:54,687 and the next thing I knew, he was arrested by the police... 54 00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:56,772 for floating nude down the Seine. 55 00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:59,483 Experimenting in river currents... 56 00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,777 with rubber water wings. 57 00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:04,196 Mauve ones. 58 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:07,450 Well, that cost quite a bit of influence et d'argent... 59 00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:09,535 to hush up, I can tell you. 60 00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,537 Harold, dear, don't play with your food. 61 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,292 What's the matter? Don't you feel well? 62 00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:21,047 [Hoarsely] I have a sore throat. 63 00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:24,633 Oh. Well, now, directly after dinner... 64 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:26,719 I want you to go straight to bed. 65 00:06:26,845 --> 00:06:30,056 Harold's always been a very delicate child. 66 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,892 Even as a baby. He seemed totally prone... 67 00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:35,227 to every possible kind of illness. 68 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,397 Harold, dear, eat up your beets. 69 00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,358 I remember once in Tokyo... 70 00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:43,486 I had to call the embassy for a doctor. 71 00:06:43,612 --> 00:06:45,988 ♪♪ [Humming "Greensleeves"] 72 00:07:05,217 --> 00:07:08,260 Oh, my God! 73 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,932 This is too much! 74 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:18,020 [Sobs] I can't stand much more of this! 75 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:20,981 I can't take any more! 76 00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:24,318 [Sobbing] Oh, my God! 77 00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:29,156 Oh, God! 78 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:34,161 That's very interesting, Harold... 79 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,789 and I think very illuminating. 80 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:40,126 There seems to be a definite pattern emerging. 81 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:43,796 And of course, this pattern, once isolated... 82 00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,840 can be coped with. 83 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,509 Recognize the problem and you're halfway on the road... 84 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,553 to its, uh... its solution. 85 00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:52,555 [Chuckles] 86 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:56,684 Tell me, Harold, what do you do for fun? 87 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,811 What activity gives you... 88 00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:02,189 a different sense of enjoyment from the others? 89 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:04,650 What do you find fulfilling? 90 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,652 What gives you that... 91 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,613 special satisfaction? 92 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,999 I go to funerals. 93 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:23,544 ♪ Till I found myself alone ♪ 94 00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,338 ♪ Hopin' someone would miss me ♪ 95 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,346 ♪ Thinkin' about my home ♪ 96 00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:37,224 ♪ And the last woman to kiss me ♪ 97 00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,186 ♪ Kiss me ♪ 98 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:45,399 ♪ Well, sometimes you have to moan ♪ 99 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:48,194 ♪ When nothing seems to suit ya ♪ 100 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,196 ♪ But nevertheless you know ♪ 101 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:53,199 ♪ You're locked towards the future ♪ 102 00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:56,535 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ 103 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:59,747 ♪ So on and on you go ♪ 104 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,208 ♪ The seconds tick the time out ♪ 105 00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:04,418 ♪ There's so much left to know ♪ 106 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:08,505 ♪ And I'm on the road to find out ♪ 107 00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:11,091 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪♪ 108 00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:25,814 Thou dost prepare for me a table in the sight of my adversaries. 109 00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:29,902 Thou dost anoint my head with oil. My chalice overflows. 110 00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:32,321 - [Woman Sobbing] - Kindness and grace shall follow me... 111 00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,531 all the days of my life... 112 00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:36,659 and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord... 113 00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,661 for length of days. 114 00:09:38,787 --> 00:09:42,081 The Earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof... 115 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,375 the world and they who dwell within... 116 00:09:44,501 --> 00:09:47,086 for he has established it upon the waters... 117 00:09:47,212 --> 00:09:49,088 and set it firmly upon the rivers. 118 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,048 Who shall ascend the mountain of the Lord... 119 00:09:51,174 --> 00:09:53,884 or who shall stand in his holy place? 120 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,594 The innocent of hands... 121 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,263 - and the pure of heart... - [Sneezes] 122 00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:59,765 Who has not turned his mind to vanity... 123 00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:03,227 nor sworn deceitfully to his neighbor. 124 00:10:03,353 --> 00:10:06,272 He shall receive the blessing from the Lord... 125 00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:09,608 and a reward from God his savior. 126 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:12,987 This is the generation of those who seek him. 127 00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:19,618 ♪ I wish I knew, I wish I knew ♪ 128 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:25,624 ♪ What makes me, me and what makes you, you ♪ 129 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:31,880 ♪ It's just another point of view ♪ 130 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:37,761 ♪ A state of mind I'm goin' through ♪ 131 00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:44,018 ♪ So what I see is never true ♪ 132 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,647 [Tires Screeching] 133 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,733 Harold? 134 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:56,739 Why you purchased that monstrosity I have no idea. 135 00:10:56,865 --> 00:10:58,991 You can have any car you want. 136 00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:03,162 But that ugly black horror is an eyesore and an embarrassment. 137 00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:06,415 Really, Harold, it is time you settled down... 138 00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:10,002 and stopped flitting away your talents on these little amateur theatrics... 139 00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:13,005 these little divertissements... 140 00:11:13,131 --> 00:11:15,799 no matter how psychologically purging they may be. 141 00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:19,219 I don't know what to do. 142 00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:25,684 Go and have a talk with your Uncle Victor. 143 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:28,354 Perhaps he can fathom you. 144 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:32,608 After all, he was General MacArthur's right-hand man. 145 00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:41,241 [Man] Well, what do you say, Harold? 146 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,537 - Ah, it's a great life. - [Footsteps Marching In Sync] 147 00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:48,165 There's action, adventure, advising... 148 00:11:48,291 --> 00:11:51,543 and you'll get a chance to see the war firsthand. 149 00:11:52,754 --> 00:11:56,048 - And there are plenty of slant-eyed girls. - [Man] Hup! 150 00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,425 Ah, it'll make a man out of you, Harold. 151 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,470 You'll travel the world, put on a uniform, and take on a man's job. 152 00:12:01,596 --> 00:12:03,764 [Man] Hup! 153 00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:07,226 You'll walk tall, with a glint in your eye and a spring in your step... 154 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,895 and the knowledge in your heart... 155 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:12,898 that you are working for peace... 156 00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:15,442 and are serving your country... 157 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,737 - just like Nathan Hale! - [Man] Ready! 158 00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,739 Now, that's what this country needs... 159 00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:24,034 - [Rifles Cocking] - More Nathan Hales. 160 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,078 - [Man] Fire! - [Gunfire] 161 00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,836 - [Man] Hup! - Harold... 162 00:12:33,962 --> 00:12:35,838 I think I can see... 163 00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:40,092 a little Nathan Hale in you. 164 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:42,761 ♪♪ [Tchaikovsky's Piano Concerto No. 1] 165 00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:08,764 Tell me, Harold... 166 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:13,101 how many of these, uh, suicides have you performed? 167 00:14:13,228 --> 00:14:16,647 An accurate number would be difficult to gauge. 168 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,024 Well, just give me a rough estimate. 169 00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:20,651 - A rough estimate? - Mm. 170 00:14:21,903 --> 00:14:24,446 I'd say... 171 00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:25,864 fifteen. 172 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,867 - Fifteen? - That's a rough estimate. 173 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:31,703 Were they all done for your mother's benefit? 174 00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:34,039 No. No. 175 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,291 I would not say "benefit." 176 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:39,211 Harold, I only have a few minutes, dear... 177 00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:42,089 and I do want to inform you of my decision. 178 00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:47,386 You have led a very carefree, idle... 179 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:50,847 happy life up to the present... the life of a child. 180 00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:53,850 But it is time now to put away childish things... 181 00:14:53,977 --> 00:14:56,562 and take on adult responsibilities. 182 00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:58,897 Oh, we would all like to sail through life... 183 00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:01,400 with no thought of tomorrow, but that cannot be. 184 00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:03,527 We have our duties... 185 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:06,363 our obligations, our principles. 186 00:15:06,489 --> 00:15:08,448 In short, Harold... 187 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:11,243 I think it is time for you to get married. 188 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,000 ♪♪ [Organ] 189 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,551 [Man] Let us pray to the Lord, king of glory... 190 00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:31,680 that he may bless and deliver the souls of all faithful departed... 191 00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:35,100 from the pain of hell and the bottomless pit. 192 00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:39,271 Deliver them from the lion's mouth and the darkness therein... 193 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:42,232 and rather bring them to... 194 00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:46,445 the blessing of light, holy life, and eternal rest. 195 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:51,116 "O Lord... 196 00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:54,494 do not bring your servant to trial... 197 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:57,497 - for no man... - [Woman] Psst! 198 00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,292 Becomes holy in your sight unless you grant him... 199 00:16:00,418 --> 00:16:02,669 forgiveness of all his sins. 200 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,464 We implore you therefore, do not let the verdict... 201 00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:07,966 - of your judgment go against him... - Psst! 202 00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:10,052 Whom the loyal prayer of Christian faith commends to your mercy. 203 00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:13,055 - Psst! - Rather... 204 00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:15,098 by the help of your grace, may he escape... 205 00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:18,101 the sentence which he deserves, for during... 206 00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:21,813 his earthly life, he was signed with the seal of the Holy Trinity. 207 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,733 You who live... 208 00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:27,653 and reign forever and ever. 209 00:16:27,779 --> 00:16:29,613 Amen." 210 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:31,114 Psst! 211 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,618 Like some licorice? 212 00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,662 - No, thank you. - You're welcome. 213 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:45,671 - ♪♪ [Organ] - Did you know him? 214 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,964 - No. - Me neither. 215 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:51,343 I heard he's 80 years old. I'll be 80 next week. 216 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,429 [Whispering] Good time to move on, don't you think? 217 00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:56,515 I don't know. 218 00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,769 Well, I mean, 75 is too early... 219 00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:04,356 but at 85 you're just marking time. 220 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:08,110 - [Whistle Blowing] - You may as well look over the horizon. 221 00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:10,570 ♪♪ [Marching Band] 222 00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:16,493 Tsk. 223 00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:19,204 I'll never understand this mania for black. 224 00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,540 Nobody sends black flowers, do they? 225 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,667 Black flowers are dead flowers. 226 00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,294 Who sends dead flowers to a funeral? 227 00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:29,047 It's absurd. 228 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:31,675 - [Whistle Blows] - ♪♪ [Continues] 229 00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:50,402 - What is your name? - Harold. Harold Chasen. 230 00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:54,614 Oh, how do you do? I'm Dame Marjorie Chardin, but you may call me Maude. 231 00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:57,117 - How do you do? Nice to meet you. - Well, thank you. 232 00:17:57,243 --> 00:18:00,537 I think we're going to be great friends, don't you? 233 00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,414 Can I give you a lift, Harold? 234 00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:05,083 No, thank you. I have my own car. 235 00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:08,920 Well, I must be off. We shall have to meet again. 236 00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,257 Ah... 237 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,678 Tell me, do you dance? 238 00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:20,140 - Pardon me? - Do you sing and dance? 239 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,726 - Uh, no. - "Uh, no." 240 00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:25,187 I thought not. [Laughing] 241 00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:29,107 [Tires Screeching] 242 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,740 [Horn Honking] 243 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,786 That woman... she took my car! 244 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,874 I have here, Harold, the form sent out... 245 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,959 by the National Computer Dating Service. 246 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,712 They screen out the fat and the ugly... 247 00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:53,381 so it is obviously a firm of high standards. 248 00:18:53,508 --> 00:18:56,426 First, here is the personality interview... 249 00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:58,637 which you are to fill out and return. 250 00:18:58,763 --> 00:19:01,473 Now, then, are you ready, Harold? 251 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:04,100 Here is the first question. 252 00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:07,354 "Are you uncomfortable meeting new people?" 253 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,565 Well, I think that's a yes. Don't you agree, Harold? 254 00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:14,402 "Should sex education be taught outside the home?" 255 00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:16,446 Oh, I would say no. Wouldn't you, Harold? 256 00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,990 Yeah, we'll give a D there. Three: 257 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:22,994 "Should women run for president of the United States?" 258 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,831 I don't see why not. Absolutely yes. 259 00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:28,959 "Do you remember jokes and take pleasure... 260 00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:31,211 in relating them to others?" 261 00:19:31,337 --> 00:19:33,296 You don't do that, do you, Harold? 262 00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:35,507 No. Absolutely no. 263 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:38,844 "Do you often get the feeling that perhaps life isn't worth living?" 264 00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:43,306 Mm? What do you think, Harold? A? B? 265 00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:46,184 Oh, we'll put down C... "not sure." Mm-hmm. 266 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:49,187 "Is the subject of sex being overexploited... 267 00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:51,231 by our mass media?" 268 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,859 Well, that would have to be yes, wouldn't it? 269 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:57,529 "Is it difficult for you to accept criticism?" 270 00:19:57,655 --> 00:20:00,365 No. We'll mark D. 271 00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:04,202 "Do you sometimes have headaches or backaches after a difficult day?" 272 00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:06,788 Yes, I do indeed. 273 00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:08,999 "Do you go to sleep easily?" 274 00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:11,042 I'd say so. 275 00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,753 "Do you believe in capital punishment for murder?" 276 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,755 Oh, yes, I do indeed. 277 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:19,759 "In your opinion, are social affairs usually a waste of time?" 278 00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,887 Heavens no! 279 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,765 "Can God influence our lives?" 280 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:29,144 Oh, yes. Absolutely yes. 281 00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:33,607 "Does your personal religion or philosophy include a life after death?" 282 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,317 Oh, yes indeed. 283 00:20:35,443 --> 00:20:38,612 That's absolutely. 284 00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,574 "Did you enjoy life when you were a child?" 285 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:46,620 Oh, yes. You were a wonderful baby, Harold. 286 00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:50,415 "Do you think the sexual revolution has gone too far?" 287 00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:53,585 It certainly has. 288 00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:58,006 "Do you find the idea of wife-swapping distasteful?" 289 00:20:58,132 --> 00:21:01,259 I even find the question distasteful. 290 00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:03,887 "Do you..." 291 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,599 Harold, please! 292 00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:12,938 "Do you have ups and downs without obvious reason?" 293 00:21:13,064 --> 00:21:15,982 [Chuckling] That's you, Harold. 294 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:20,236 ♪ Lord, my body ♪ 295 00:21:20,363 --> 00:21:23,615 ♪ Has been a good friend ♪ 296 00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:26,868 ♪ But I won't need it ♪ 297 00:21:26,994 --> 00:21:30,747 ♪ When I reach the end ♪ 298 00:21:30,873 --> 00:21:33,708 ♪ Miles from nowhere ♪ 299 00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:37,170 ♪ I guess I'll take my time ♪ 300 00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:40,423 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 301 00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:44,302 ♪ To reach there ♪♪ 302 00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:48,974 Psst! 303 00:22:00,403 --> 00:22:02,278 Dearest brothers... 304 00:22:02,405 --> 00:22:05,699 let us faithfully and lovingly remember our brother... 305 00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:07,993 whom God has taken to himself... 306 00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:09,995 from the trials of this world. 307 00:22:10,121 --> 00:22:12,455 God have mercy. 308 00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:15,667 Christ have mercy. Lord have mercy. 309 00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:18,670 [All] Our Father who art in heaven... 310 00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:20,672 hallowed be thy name. 311 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,799 Thy kingdom come, thy will be done... 312 00:22:22,925 --> 00:22:24,801 on Earth as it is in heaven. 313 00:22:24,927 --> 00:22:27,429 Give us this day our daily bread... 314 00:22:27,555 --> 00:22:29,431 and forgive us our trespasses... 315 00:22:29,557 --> 00:22:31,850 as we forgive those who have trespassed against us... 316 00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:34,310 and lead us not into temptation... 317 00:22:34,437 --> 00:22:37,856 but deliver us from evil. Amen. 318 00:22:49,869 --> 00:22:52,871 ♪ Bring tea for the tillerman ♪ 319 00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:55,373 ♪ Steak for the sun ♪ 320 00:22:55,499 --> 00:22:59,711 ♪ Wine for the woman who made the rain come ♪ 321 00:22:59,837 --> 00:23:03,256 ♪ Seagulls, sing your hearts away ♪ 322 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:06,051 ♪ 'Cause while the sinners sin ♪ 323 00:23:06,218 --> 00:23:08,720 ♪ The children play ♪ 324 00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:12,015 ♪ Oh, Lord how they play and play ♪ 325 00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:15,643 ♪ For that happy day For that happy day ♪ 326 00:23:15,770 --> 00:23:18,188 ♪ Happy day ♪♪ 327 00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:39,375 My boy, excuse me. 328 00:23:39,502 --> 00:23:42,087 One moment, please. 329 00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:44,255 Who was that old lady who was waving to you earlier? 330 00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:47,926 Hello, Harold. Can I give you a lift? 331 00:23:48,052 --> 00:23:49,928 Oh, there you are, madam. 332 00:23:50,054 --> 00:23:52,263 Were you not the lady who drove my car off yesterday? 333 00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:54,808 Was that the one with the Saint Christopher medal on the dashboard? 334 00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:56,810 - Yes. - Then I suppose it was me. 335 00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:58,561 Get in, Harold. 336 00:23:58,687 --> 00:24:02,107 Were you also the one who painted the saint? 337 00:24:02,233 --> 00:24:04,609 Oh, yes. How did you like that? 338 00:24:04,777 --> 00:24:07,278 - Well, I didn't. - Oh, don't be too discouraged. 339 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:10,782 For aesthetic appreciation, always a little time. 340 00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:12,867 [Tires Screeching] 341 00:24:19,542 --> 00:24:22,627 What a delight it is, Harold, to bump into you again. 342 00:24:22,753 --> 00:24:25,380 I knew we were gonna be good friends the moment I saw you. 343 00:24:25,506 --> 00:24:27,590 You go to funerals often, don't you? 344 00:24:27,716 --> 00:24:29,759 - Uh, yeah. - Yeah, so do I. 345 00:24:29,885 --> 00:24:34,139 They're such fun, aren't they? It's all change, all revolving. 346 00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:36,474 Burials and births, one linked to the other. 347 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,810 The great circle of life. 348 00:24:41,897 --> 00:24:43,940 Hey, this old thing handles well. 349 00:24:44,066 --> 00:24:46,609 - Ever drive a hearse, Harold? - Yeah. 350 00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:49,487 Well, it's a new experience for me. 351 00:24:52,408 --> 00:24:54,284 Good on curves. 352 00:24:54,410 --> 00:24:56,286 Shall I take you home, Harold? 353 00:24:56,412 --> 00:24:58,705 Uh, this is my car. 354 00:24:58,831 --> 00:25:01,249 - Your hearse? - "Yearse." 355 00:25:01,375 --> 00:25:03,751 [Maude] Oh! 356 00:25:07,631 --> 00:25:10,341 Then you shall take me home. 357 00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:27,400 So just before he left for the monastery in Tibet... 358 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:29,611 Big Sweeney gave me his keys. 359 00:25:29,737 --> 00:25:31,905 'Course, I had to make some additions for the new models... 360 00:25:32,031 --> 00:25:34,032 but not as many as you might think. 361 00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:38,286 Once you have your basic set, it's then only a question of variation. 362 00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:42,040 You hop in any car you want and just drive off? 363 00:25:42,166 --> 00:25:44,459 Oh, not any car. I like to keep a variety. 364 00:25:44,585 --> 00:25:46,544 I'm always looking for the new experience. 365 00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:50,965 Maybe. 366 00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:53,718 Nevertheless, I think you're upsetting people. 367 00:25:53,844 --> 00:25:55,762 I don't know if that's right. 368 00:25:57,306 --> 00:26:01,017 Well, if some people get upset because they feel they have a hold on some things... 369 00:26:01,143 --> 00:26:03,228 I'm merely acting as a gentle reminder... 370 00:26:03,354 --> 00:26:06,564 here today, gone tomorrow, so don't get attached to things. 371 00:26:06,732 --> 00:26:09,025 Now, with that in mind... 372 00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:11,736 I'm not against collecting stuff. 373 00:26:11,862 --> 00:26:15,698 I've collected quite a lot of stuff in my time. 374 00:26:18,035 --> 00:26:20,245 This is all memorabilia... 375 00:26:20,412 --> 00:26:24,082 but it's incidental, not integral, if you know what I mean. 376 00:26:24,208 --> 00:26:26,834 - Oh! The birds. - Wow. 377 00:26:26,961 --> 00:26:29,504 Oh, I love them so much. 378 00:26:29,630 --> 00:26:32,840 They're the only wildlife I get to see anymore. 379 00:26:32,967 --> 00:26:36,386 Ah, me. Free as a bird. 380 00:26:38,639 --> 00:26:42,600 You know, at one time I used to break into pet shops to liberate the canaries. 381 00:26:42,726 --> 00:26:46,062 But I decided that was an idea way before its time. 382 00:26:46,188 --> 00:26:50,108 Zoos are full. Prisons are overflowing. 383 00:26:50,276 --> 00:26:52,527 [Sighs] Oh, my. 384 00:26:52,653 --> 00:26:54,696 How the world still... 385 00:26:54,822 --> 00:26:57,115 dearly loves a cage. 386 00:26:57,283 --> 00:26:59,284 Uh, please sit down, Harold. 387 00:26:59,451 --> 00:27:03,121 I'll put the kettle on. We'll have a nice hot cup of tea. 388 00:27:03,289 --> 00:27:05,290 Oh, thank you, but I really have to go. 389 00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:09,043 Oh, but it's oat straw tea. You've never had oat straw tea, have you? 390 00:27:09,169 --> 00:27:11,504 - No. - Well, then. 391 00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:14,299 No, but I really do have to go. I have an appointment. 392 00:27:14,466 --> 00:27:18,678 - I really can't miss it. - Oh. At the dentist? 393 00:27:20,306 --> 00:27:22,140 Kind of. 394 00:27:23,434 --> 00:27:26,144 Well, then, you'll just have to come back and visit. 395 00:27:26,312 --> 00:27:29,439 - All right. - My door's always open. 396 00:27:29,565 --> 00:27:31,733 - All right. - Promise? 397 00:27:31,859 --> 00:27:33,526 I promise. 398 00:27:36,864 --> 00:27:38,823 [Psychologist] Harold? 399 00:27:39,992 --> 00:27:41,659 Harold? 400 00:27:42,995 --> 00:27:45,872 I asked, "Do you have any friends?" 401 00:27:45,998 --> 00:27:48,916 - No. - None at all? 402 00:27:49,043 --> 00:27:50,918 No. 403 00:27:51,045 --> 00:27:53,129 Maybe one. 404 00:27:53,255 --> 00:27:55,465 Would you care to talk about this friend? 405 00:27:55,591 --> 00:27:57,383 [Emphatically] No. 406 00:27:57,509 --> 00:27:59,677 I find you a very interesting case, Harold... 407 00:27:59,803 --> 00:28:03,806 but this reluctance on your part is detrimental to the psychoanalytical process. 408 00:28:03,932 --> 00:28:06,017 Do you understand? 409 00:28:09,646 --> 00:28:11,773 Very well. 410 00:28:11,899 --> 00:28:14,359 Your mother tells me, Harold, that she's arranging... 411 00:28:14,526 --> 00:28:17,612 several dates for you with some young ladies. 412 00:28:17,738 --> 00:28:20,281 How do you feel about that? 413 00:28:20,407 --> 00:28:22,533 [Snoring] 414 00:28:26,288 --> 00:28:28,039 Hello, I'm Candy Gulf. 415 00:28:28,165 --> 00:28:30,958 How do you do? I'm Mrs. Chasen. Do come in. 416 00:28:31,085 --> 00:28:33,878 Harold is out in the garden, Candy, but he'll be here in a moment. 417 00:28:34,004 --> 00:28:36,672 Shall we, uh, sit down? 418 00:28:36,799 --> 00:28:39,967 Oh, there's Harold. Hello. 419 00:28:40,094 --> 00:28:43,221 [Mrs. Chasen Chuckling] 420 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:50,144 - Oh, he seems very nice. - Oh, thank you. 421 00:28:50,270 --> 00:28:52,230 You are at the university? 422 00:28:52,356 --> 00:28:55,066 - Yes, I am. - And what are you studying? 423 00:28:55,192 --> 00:28:57,402 Poli sci with a minor in home ec. 424 00:28:57,528 --> 00:29:00,488 - "Poli sci"? - Political science. 425 00:29:00,614 --> 00:29:03,408 - Oh. - It's all about what's going on. 426 00:29:03,575 --> 00:29:06,744 Is Harold interested in what's going on? 427 00:29:06,912 --> 00:29:09,247 I just think it's such a super thing to study. 428 00:29:09,373 --> 00:29:12,375 And then, of course, I can always fall back on my home ec. 429 00:29:12,501 --> 00:29:14,544 - Oh, now, that's good planning. - Yes. 430 00:29:14,670 --> 00:29:17,922 Tell me, Candy, are you a regular with this computer club? 431 00:29:18,048 --> 00:29:21,426 Oh, heavens no! I don't have to worry about dates. 432 00:29:21,552 --> 00:29:23,719 - Oh. - [Both Laughing] 433 00:29:23,846 --> 00:29:27,306 But, you see, some of the other girls in my sorority decided... 434 00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:30,268 that somebody ought to try it, so we drew straws and I lost. 435 00:29:31,645 --> 00:29:34,939 Oh, but I... I'm looking forward to meeting Harold. 436 00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:37,733 Well, I think I should mention, Candy... 437 00:29:37,860 --> 00:29:40,319 Harold does have his little eccentric moments. 438 00:29:40,446 --> 00:29:41,779 That's all right. 439 00:29:41,905 --> 00:29:45,199 I have a brother who's a real cutup too. 440 00:29:45,325 --> 00:29:48,035 Oh, I will never forget the time... 441 00:29:48,162 --> 00:29:51,289 we had this old television set with no parts in it. 442 00:29:51,415 --> 00:29:54,000 Tommy stuck his head behind it... 443 00:29:54,126 --> 00:29:58,045 and started giving a whole newscast before the entire family. 444 00:29:58,172 --> 00:30:01,966 Must've been very funny. 445 00:30:02,092 --> 00:30:04,969 [Panicked Gasp] Harold! 446 00:30:05,137 --> 00:30:07,555 Oh, yes, dear. Here is Harold now. 447 00:30:07,681 --> 00:30:09,682 - [Candy Exclaiming] - Harold, this is Candy. 448 00:30:09,808 --> 00:30:12,810 Candy's just been telling us such a funny little story... 449 00:30:12,936 --> 00:30:15,855 about... Walter Cronkite. 450 00:30:19,693 --> 00:30:22,445 [Exclaiming Continues] 451 00:30:28,827 --> 00:30:30,953 ♪ I used to walk alone ♪ 452 00:30:31,079 --> 00:30:33,539 ♪ Every step seemed the same ♪ 453 00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:39,003 ♪ This world was not my own ♪ 454 00:30:39,129 --> 00:30:42,340 ♪ So there was nothing much to gain ♪ 455 00:30:45,344 --> 00:30:47,345 ♪ Look up and see the clouds ♪ 456 00:30:47,513 --> 00:30:51,349 ♪ Look down and see the cold floor ♪ 457 00:30:53,519 --> 00:30:55,811 ♪ Until you came into my life, girl ♪ 458 00:30:55,938 --> 00:30:58,981 ♪ I saw nothing, nothing more ♪♪ 459 00:31:04,404 --> 00:31:08,407 Oh. Excuse me. 460 00:31:09,993 --> 00:31:13,204 - I beg your pardon. - What do you want? 461 00:31:13,330 --> 00:31:15,873 I'm sorry. I was looking for Maude. 462 00:31:15,999 --> 00:31:17,750 [Maude] Harold? 463 00:31:23,674 --> 00:31:25,341 Maude. 464 00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:29,762 How about some ginger pie? 465 00:31:29,888 --> 00:31:32,640 - Fine. Thank you. - I'll heat some up. 466 00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:38,688 My, Harold, I'm glad to see you again. 467 00:31:38,814 --> 00:31:40,982 Do you often model for Glaucus? 468 00:31:41,108 --> 00:31:43,901 Oh, heavens, no. I don't have the time. 469 00:31:44,069 --> 00:31:45,903 But I like to keep in practice. 470 00:31:46,071 --> 00:31:50,157 And poor Glaucus occasionally needs his memory refreshed... 471 00:31:50,284 --> 00:31:53,202 as to the contours of the female form. 472 00:31:54,288 --> 00:31:57,582 - Do you disapprove? - Me? No. Of course not. 473 00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:03,588 Really? Do you think it's wrong? 474 00:32:14,600 --> 00:32:18,019 - No. - Oh, heavens, I'm glad you said that. 475 00:32:18,145 --> 00:32:20,771 I want to show you my painting. 476 00:32:20,897 --> 00:32:24,108 This is The Rape of Rome. 477 00:32:24,276 --> 00:32:27,862 Over in the corner is Leda and the Swan. 478 00:32:27,988 --> 00:32:30,281 A self-portrait. 479 00:32:30,407 --> 00:32:33,117 And over here is my favorite. 480 00:32:34,911 --> 00:32:37,288 It's titled... 481 00:32:37,414 --> 00:32:39,957 Rainbow with Egg Underneath... 482 00:32:40,125 --> 00:32:42,293 and an Elephant. 483 00:32:42,419 --> 00:32:45,421 - Do you like it? - Oh, yeah. Very much. 484 00:32:45,547 --> 00:32:47,590 I then became infatuated... 485 00:32:47,716 --> 00:32:50,301 with these, my odorifics. 486 00:32:50,427 --> 00:32:52,303 "Give the nose a treat," I thought. 487 00:32:52,429 --> 00:32:55,097 "Have a kind of a... of a olfactory banquet." 488 00:32:55,223 --> 00:32:58,225 So I began first on the easiest: Roast beef, old books... 489 00:32:58,352 --> 00:33:01,312 mown grass, and Mexican farmyard. 490 00:33:01,438 --> 00:33:03,564 Oh! Here's one you'll like. 491 00:33:03,690 --> 00:33:07,652 Snowfall on 42nd Street. I'll put it on. 492 00:33:10,113 --> 00:33:12,948 Now, you hold on to this. 493 00:33:13,075 --> 00:33:14,992 I'll pump it up. 494 00:33:16,620 --> 00:33:19,830 Okay. Now, hold it up there. 495 00:33:19,956 --> 00:33:22,041 Now, what do you smell? 496 00:33:26,755 --> 00:33:30,007 Subways? [Chuckles] 497 00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:37,223 Perfume. 498 00:33:39,059 --> 00:33:41,185 [Coughing] 499 00:33:42,896 --> 00:33:45,231 - Cigarettes. - [Both Chuckling] 500 00:33:52,906 --> 00:33:55,866 - Snow. - Snow. [Laughs] 501 00:33:55,992 --> 00:33:58,994 Oh, it goes on and on. 502 00:33:59,121 --> 00:34:01,038 That's just great. 503 00:34:01,164 --> 00:34:04,208 But then I decided to switch... 504 00:34:04,334 --> 00:34:06,419 to the taCtile. 505 00:34:09,005 --> 00:34:11,716 - What do you think? - I like this. 506 00:34:11,883 --> 00:34:14,009 Oh, no, no, no. Really get close... 507 00:34:14,136 --> 00:34:17,054 and reach in and feel. 508 00:34:17,180 --> 00:34:19,640 - [Kettle Whistling] - Oh. There's my kettle. 509 00:34:19,766 --> 00:34:23,227 Uh... Well, stroke... 510 00:34:23,353 --> 00:34:25,062 palm... 511 00:34:25,230 --> 00:34:27,064 caress... 512 00:34:27,232 --> 00:34:29,150 explore. 513 00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:39,410 [Whistling Stops] 514 00:35:01,933 --> 00:35:04,226 [Moaning] 515 00:35:05,312 --> 00:35:07,271 [Cups Clatter] 516 00:35:10,734 --> 00:35:14,445 Here we are: Oat straw tea and ginger pie. 517 00:35:16,156 --> 00:35:19,950 [Chuckles] Excuse the mismatched saucers. 518 00:35:21,286 --> 00:35:23,454 This is definitely a new experience for me. 519 00:35:23,580 --> 00:35:26,957 Oh, wonderful. Try something new each day. 520 00:35:27,083 --> 00:35:29,043 After all, we're given life to find it out. 521 00:35:29,169 --> 00:35:31,045 It doesn't last forever. 522 00:35:31,171 --> 00:35:33,088 You look as if you could. 523 00:35:33,215 --> 00:35:34,924 [Groans] 524 00:35:35,050 --> 00:35:39,136 - Did I tell you I'll be 80 on Saturday? - You don't look 80. 525 00:35:39,304 --> 00:35:42,139 Oh, well, that's the influence of the right food, right exercises... 526 00:35:42,265 --> 00:35:44,141 and the right breathing. 527 00:35:44,267 --> 00:35:46,352 Greet the dawn with the Breath of Fire. 528 00:35:46,478 --> 00:35:49,980 [Inhales Deeply, Exhales Forcefully] 529 00:35:56,530 --> 00:35:59,698 [Gasps] Oh! 530 00:35:59,825 --> 00:36:02,827 Well, there's no question my body's giving out. 531 00:36:02,953 --> 00:36:06,831 I'm well into autumn. It's all gonna be over after Saturday. 532 00:36:06,957 --> 00:36:08,707 Uh, tell me about yourself. 533 00:36:08,834 --> 00:36:11,836 What do you do when you aren't visiting funerals? 534 00:36:20,387 --> 00:36:24,515 Yep. There is definitely a certain attraCtion. 535 00:36:38,446 --> 00:36:40,614 I ask you though, Harold: 536 00:36:40,740 --> 00:36:42,700 Is it enough? 537 00:36:43,910 --> 00:36:47,079 - What do you mean? - Well... 538 00:36:50,375 --> 00:36:52,543 Mm. 539 00:36:53,837 --> 00:36:56,755 I like to watch things grow. 540 00:37:04,347 --> 00:37:07,433 They grow and bloom... 541 00:37:07,559 --> 00:37:09,894 and fade and die... 542 00:37:10,020 --> 00:37:12,563 and change into something else. 543 00:37:14,316 --> 00:37:17,401 Ah, life. [Chuckles] 544 00:37:17,569 --> 00:37:21,614 [Maude] I should like to change into a sunflower most of all. 545 00:37:21,740 --> 00:37:25,159 They're so tall and simple. 546 00:37:25,285 --> 00:37:27,286 What flower would you like to be? 547 00:37:28,246 --> 00:37:30,122 [Harold] I don't know. 548 00:37:31,541 --> 00:37:34,418 - One of these, maybe. - Why do you say that? 549 00:37:36,463 --> 00:37:40,424 - Because they're all alike. - Oh, but they're not. 550 00:37:40,550 --> 00:37:42,301 Look. See? 551 00:37:42,427 --> 00:37:45,387 Some are smaller, some are fatter... 552 00:37:45,513 --> 00:37:48,390 some grow to the left, some to the right. 553 00:37:48,516 --> 00:37:50,601 Some even have lost some petals. 554 00:37:50,769 --> 00:37:54,271 All kinds of observable differences. 555 00:37:54,439 --> 00:37:56,065 You see, Harold... 556 00:37:56,191 --> 00:37:59,568 I feel that much of the world's sorrow... 557 00:37:59,694 --> 00:38:02,446 comes from people who are this... 558 00:38:03,949 --> 00:38:05,741 yet... 559 00:38:05,867 --> 00:38:08,577 allow themselves to be treated as that. 560 00:38:10,455 --> 00:38:13,248 ♪ Well, I think it's fine ♪ 561 00:38:14,334 --> 00:38:17,378 ♪ Building jumbo planes ♪ 562 00:38:18,505 --> 00:38:21,048 ♪ Or takin' a ride ♪ 563 00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:24,635 ♪ On a cosmic train ♪ 564 00:38:26,054 --> 00:38:28,263 ♪ Switch on summer ♪ 565 00:38:29,349 --> 00:38:31,850 ♪ From a slot machine ♪ 566 00:38:33,561 --> 00:38:36,313 ♪ Yes, get what you want to if you want ♪ 567 00:38:36,481 --> 00:38:38,983 ♪ 'Cause you can get anything ♪ 568 00:38:41,903 --> 00:38:45,322 ♪ I know we've come a long way ♪ 569 00:38:45,490 --> 00:38:49,034 ♪ We're changin' day to day ♪ 570 00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:55,124 ♪ But tell me where do the children play ♪ 571 00:39:06,594 --> 00:39:09,138 ♪ Well, you roll on roads ♪ 572 00:39:10,181 --> 00:39:13,851 ♪ Over fresh green grass ♪ 573 00:39:13,977 --> 00:39:16,311 ♪ For your lorry loads ♪ 574 00:39:17,897 --> 00:39:20,441 - ♪ Pumpin' petrol gas ♪ - [Tires Screeching] 575 00:39:21,693 --> 00:39:24,111 ♪ And you make them long ♪ 576 00:39:25,488 --> 00:39:27,865 - ♪ And you make them tall ♪ - [Tires Screeching] 577 00:39:27,991 --> 00:39:31,994 - Power steering. - ♪ But they just go on and on ♪ 578 00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:35,247 ♪ And it seems that you can't get off ♪ 579 00:39:36,791 --> 00:39:41,670 ♪ Oh, I know we've come a long way ♪ 580 00:39:41,796 --> 00:39:44,965 ♪ We're changin' day to day ♪ 581 00:39:45,091 --> 00:39:49,053 ♪ But tell me where do the children play ♪♪ 582 00:39:49,179 --> 00:39:51,180 [Horns Honking] 583 00:39:53,516 --> 00:39:55,434 [Tires Screeching] 584 00:39:58,146 --> 00:40:00,064 [Man] Hey! Jesus Christ! 585 00:40:01,191 --> 00:40:04,568 That little tree is in trouble. Come on. 586 00:40:04,694 --> 00:40:07,446 Look at it. Oh! 587 00:40:07,572 --> 00:40:10,908 It's suffocating. Well, it's the smog. 588 00:40:11,076 --> 00:40:14,411 You know, people can live with it, but trees, it gives them asthma. 589 00:40:14,537 --> 00:40:16,413 - They can't breathe. - Huh? 590 00:40:16,539 --> 00:40:18,832 The leaves... look, they're turning brown. 591 00:40:18,958 --> 00:40:22,628 Harold, we have got to do something about this life. 592 00:40:22,754 --> 00:40:25,964 - What? - We'll transplant it to the forest. 593 00:40:26,091 --> 00:40:28,383 - You can't do that. - Why not? 594 00:40:28,510 --> 00:40:31,595 - This is public property. - Well, exactly. 595 00:40:33,014 --> 00:40:35,390 Well, we'll need tools. 596 00:40:35,517 --> 00:40:37,601 You're right. We'll go see Glaucus. 597 00:40:37,727 --> 00:40:39,561 Come on. 598 00:40:39,687 --> 00:40:41,939 Wait a minute. 599 00:40:42,065 --> 00:40:44,149 Oh, the police. Come on. 600 00:40:46,736 --> 00:40:48,862 ♪♪ [Maude Humming] 601 00:40:48,988 --> 00:40:51,865 Well, good afternoon, Officer. Bit of trouble here? 602 00:40:51,991 --> 00:40:53,617 Yes, ma'am. Someone had a little trouble parking. 603 00:40:53,785 --> 00:40:55,452 - It's a tricky turn. - Yes, ma'am. 604 00:40:55,578 --> 00:40:57,621 Tell me, that car over there... 605 00:40:57,747 --> 00:40:59,790 is that parked all right? 606 00:40:59,916 --> 00:41:02,376 - Yes, ma'am. That's fine. - Oh, thank you so much. 607 00:41:02,502 --> 00:41:06,130 Uh, you might turn the radio off. Saves the battery. 608 00:41:07,715 --> 00:41:10,551 ♪♪ [Maude Humming] 609 00:41:10,677 --> 00:41:13,262 [Chattering, Chuckling] 610 00:41:20,687 --> 00:41:22,938 [Engine Starts] 611 00:41:24,941 --> 00:41:26,775 [Tires Screeching] 612 00:41:36,619 --> 00:41:38,620 [Maude] A little after-dinner liqueur, Harold? 613 00:41:38,746 --> 00:41:40,747 Oh, uh, thank you. I don't drink. 614 00:41:40,874 --> 00:41:43,417 Oh, it's all right. It's organic. 615 00:41:43,543 --> 00:41:46,461 - Thanks. - It has no nutritional value... 616 00:41:46,588 --> 00:41:50,507 but consistency is not really a human trait. 617 00:41:50,633 --> 00:41:52,759 What is that up there? 618 00:41:52,886 --> 00:41:56,013 Oh, that's my umbrella. That's just a relic. 619 00:41:56,139 --> 00:41:58,849 I found it when I was packing to come to America. 620 00:41:58,975 --> 00:42:01,560 It used to be my defense on picket lines... 621 00:42:01,686 --> 00:42:03,854 and rallies and political meetings... 622 00:42:04,022 --> 00:42:05,856 being dragged off by the police... 623 00:42:06,024 --> 00:42:08,525 and attacked by thugs of the opposition. 624 00:42:08,651 --> 00:42:10,319 What were you fighting for? 625 00:42:10,445 --> 00:42:13,030 Oh, big issues: 626 00:42:13,156 --> 00:42:15,324 Liberty, rights, justice. 627 00:42:15,450 --> 00:42:18,911 Kings died. Kingdoms fell. 628 00:42:19,037 --> 00:42:21,205 I don't regret the kingdoms. 629 00:42:21,372 --> 00:42:23,457 What sense in... 630 00:42:23,583 --> 00:42:26,752 borders and nations and patriotism? 631 00:42:28,296 --> 00:42:31,006 But I miss the kings. 632 00:42:32,383 --> 00:42:34,384 When I was a little girl... 633 00:42:34,552 --> 00:42:38,222 I was taken to the palace in Vienna, to a garden party. 634 00:42:38,348 --> 00:42:41,308 I can still see the sun shining... 635 00:42:41,434 --> 00:42:43,310 the parasols... 636 00:42:43,436 --> 00:42:46,521 the flashing uniforms of the young officers. 637 00:42:46,648 --> 00:42:49,399 I thought then that I would marry a soldier. 638 00:42:51,903 --> 00:42:54,738 Later on, Frederick would chide me about it. 639 00:42:56,658 --> 00:42:59,576 He was so serious. 640 00:43:00,912 --> 00:43:03,789 A doctor at the university... 641 00:43:03,915 --> 00:43:05,874 and in the government. 642 00:43:18,513 --> 00:43:21,598 But that was all before. 643 00:43:31,317 --> 00:43:33,110 So... 644 00:43:36,656 --> 00:43:38,740 you don't use the umbrella anymore. 645 00:43:43,121 --> 00:43:45,080 No more revolts? 646 00:43:49,043 --> 00:43:50,919 Oh. Oh, yes. 647 00:43:51,045 --> 00:43:53,797 Oh, every day. 648 00:43:53,965 --> 00:43:55,632 But... 649 00:43:55,758 --> 00:43:57,884 I don't need a defense anymore. 650 00:43:58,011 --> 00:43:59,720 I embrace. 651 00:43:59,846 --> 00:44:02,389 Still fighting for the big issues... 652 00:44:02,515 --> 00:44:05,976 but now in my small... 653 00:44:06,144 --> 00:44:08,603 individual way. 654 00:44:08,730 --> 00:44:10,981 Shall we have a song? 655 00:44:11,107 --> 00:44:13,150 - I don't play anything. - Oh, come on. 656 00:44:13,318 --> 00:44:15,610 - I'll show you. - No... 657 00:44:15,737 --> 00:44:17,904 ♪♪ [Humming] 658 00:44:24,912 --> 00:44:27,456 ♪ If you want to sing out, sing out ♪ 659 00:44:27,582 --> 00:44:30,667 ♪ If you want to be free, be free ♪ 660 00:44:30,835 --> 00:44:33,420 ♪ 'Cause there's a million things to be ♪ 661 00:44:33,546 --> 00:44:36,673 ♪ You know that there are ♪ 662 00:44:36,841 --> 00:44:40,677 ♪ And if you want to be high, be high ♪ 663 00:44:40,845 --> 00:44:43,805 ♪ If you want to be low, be low ♪ 664 00:44:43,931 --> 00:44:46,600 ♪ 'Cause there's a million ways to go ♪ 665 00:44:46,726 --> 00:44:49,019 ♪ You know that there are ♪ 666 00:44:50,229 --> 00:44:53,648 ♪ And if you want to be me, be me ♪ 667 00:44:53,775 --> 00:44:56,485 ♪ If you want to be you, be you ♪ 668 00:44:56,611 --> 00:44:59,488 ♪ 'Cause there's a million things to do ♪ 669 00:44:59,614 --> 00:45:02,240 ♪ You know that there are ♪ 670 00:45:02,367 --> 00:45:03,950 Harold, join in. 671 00:45:04,077 --> 00:45:06,370 ♪♪ [Maude Vocalizing] 672 00:45:08,831 --> 00:45:11,249 [Both] ♪ You know that there are ♪ 673 00:45:13,711 --> 00:45:16,630 ♪ You can do what you want ♪ 674 00:45:16,756 --> 00:45:19,800 ♪ The opportunity's on ♪ 675 00:45:19,926 --> 00:45:23,136 ♪ And if you find a new way ♪ 676 00:45:23,262 --> 00:45:26,056 ♪ You can do it today ♪ 677 00:45:26,224 --> 00:45:29,142 ♪ You can make it all true ♪ 678 00:45:29,268 --> 00:45:31,395 ♪ And you can make it undo ♪ 679 00:45:31,562 --> 00:45:33,563 ♪ You see ♪ 680 00:45:33,689 --> 00:45:36,400 ♪ Ah, ah, ah, it's easy ♪ 681 00:45:36,526 --> 00:45:40,737 ♪ Ah, ah, ah, you only need to know ♪ 682 00:45:42,865 --> 00:45:45,367 - ♪♪ [Piano Continues Playing] - ♪ If you want to sing out, sing out ♪ 683 00:45:45,493 --> 00:45:48,578 ♪ And if you want to be free, be free ♪ 684 00:45:48,704 --> 00:45:51,081 ♪ 'Cause there's a million things to be ♪ 685 00:45:51,249 --> 00:45:55,794 ♪ You know that there are ♪ 686 00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:58,380 ♪ You know that there are ♪♪ 687 00:46:01,175 --> 00:46:03,093 ♪♪ [Ends] 688 00:46:04,720 --> 00:46:08,056 Oh, that was fun! Let's play something together. 689 00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:12,269 - I don't play anything. - Nothing? 690 00:46:12,395 --> 00:46:14,938 Dear me! 691 00:46:15,106 --> 00:46:17,441 Everybody should be able to make some music. 692 00:46:17,608 --> 00:46:20,527 That's the cosmic dance. Oh, come with me. 693 00:46:20,653 --> 00:46:23,321 There has to be something. 694 00:46:23,448 --> 00:46:26,283 Now, let me see. 695 00:46:26,451 --> 00:46:28,827 Wait a minute. See? Oh! 696 00:46:28,953 --> 00:46:30,912 Hold on to this. What is this? 697 00:46:31,038 --> 00:46:32,914 This is it. Here we are. 698 00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:35,834 Now, this is the one. Take that. 699 00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:39,880 Just be impulsive. Be fanciful. Let the music flow out of ya. 700 00:46:40,006 --> 00:46:42,466 You've got to make some chords. 701 00:46:42,592 --> 00:46:45,886 Put your finger on the second fret there... 702 00:46:46,012 --> 00:46:48,597 then this one on the third, then this one here. 703 00:46:56,230 --> 00:46:58,148 [Mrs. Chasen] Harold! 704 00:47:01,903 --> 00:47:03,904 Harold? 705 00:47:06,240 --> 00:47:08,700 Harold, dear? 706 00:47:08,826 --> 00:47:10,869 Oh, there you are. 707 00:47:13,498 --> 00:47:16,708 I have a little surprise for you. 708 00:47:16,834 --> 00:47:18,793 It's a present. 709 00:47:23,508 --> 00:47:25,258 Come along. 710 00:47:46,864 --> 00:47:48,698 There. 711 00:47:48,866 --> 00:47:50,617 Isn't it darling? 712 00:47:51,702 --> 00:47:54,120 I had them take away that monstrous thing of yours... 713 00:47:54,247 --> 00:47:56,331 and send this one 'round instead. 714 00:47:56,457 --> 00:47:59,000 So much more appropriate for you, don't you think? 715 00:48:01,128 --> 00:48:03,046 Oh, one thing more, Harold. 716 00:48:03,172 --> 00:48:05,340 I telephoned your second computer date this morning... 717 00:48:05,466 --> 00:48:08,218 and she seems a very nice, quiet girl. 718 00:48:08,386 --> 00:48:10,220 Cute little thing, isn't it? 719 00:48:10,388 --> 00:48:12,681 I like it very much. 720 00:48:40,876 --> 00:48:42,794 [Alarm Sounds] 721 00:49:00,438 --> 00:49:02,188 Your license, lady. 722 00:49:02,315 --> 00:49:05,275 I don't have one. I don't believe in them. 723 00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:09,529 How long you been drivin', lady? 724 00:49:09,655 --> 00:49:11,865 About 45 minutes. Wouldn't you say, Harold? 725 00:49:11,991 --> 00:49:14,284 We were hoping to start sooner, but you see... 726 00:49:14,410 --> 00:49:16,536 it's rather hard to find a truck. 727 00:49:16,662 --> 00:49:18,538 Is this your truck? 728 00:49:18,664 --> 00:49:21,458 Uh, oh, no. I just took it. 729 00:49:21,584 --> 00:49:25,378 - You took it? - Yes. You see, I have to plant my tree. 730 00:49:25,504 --> 00:49:27,631 Well, it's not mine, really... 731 00:49:27,798 --> 00:49:31,926 but we would like to get it into soil as soon as possible. 732 00:49:33,721 --> 00:49:35,639 Let me get this straight, lady... 733 00:49:35,806 --> 00:49:37,307 All right, then. We'll be off. 734 00:49:37,475 --> 00:49:39,392 Nice chatting with you. 735 00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:47,150 - He was very nice. - Oh, yeah. 736 00:49:59,246 --> 00:50:00,955 [Siren Wailing] 737 00:50:01,082 --> 00:50:04,334 - I think he's following us. - Is he? 738 00:50:04,502 --> 00:50:08,672 Tsk. Oh, the police. Always wanting to play games. 739 00:50:22,144 --> 00:50:23,520 Hey, lady! 740 00:50:59,765 --> 00:51:01,891 Is the little tree all right? 741 00:51:04,311 --> 00:51:05,979 Oh, yeah. Fine. 742 00:51:06,105 --> 00:51:08,690 [Maude] Terrific! 743 00:51:17,742 --> 00:51:19,743 [Maude] There. 744 00:51:19,869 --> 00:51:24,164 Mm, I love the feel of soil, don't you? 745 00:51:24,290 --> 00:51:26,249 And the smell. 746 00:51:28,002 --> 00:51:30,795 It's the earth. 747 00:51:30,921 --> 00:51:33,089 "The earth is my body... 748 00:51:33,215 --> 00:51:36,092 my head is in the stars." 749 00:51:36,260 --> 00:51:38,178 Who said that? 750 00:51:39,513 --> 00:51:42,098 I don't know. 751 00:51:42,266 --> 00:51:44,184 Well, I suppose I did. 752 00:51:46,979 --> 00:51:49,355 Ooh, isn't it wonderful? 753 00:51:49,482 --> 00:51:52,400 All around us, living things! 754 00:52:01,118 --> 00:52:03,036 [Horn Honking] 755 00:52:08,959 --> 00:52:10,960 [Siren Wailing] 756 00:52:57,633 --> 00:52:59,801 All right, out, lady. 757 00:53:01,053 --> 00:53:04,097 - Come on. - Hello. Haven't we met before? 758 00:53:04,223 --> 00:53:06,099 None of that, lady. Come on out. 759 00:53:06,225 --> 00:53:10,144 Oh, well. It must've been your brother. There is a family resemblance. 760 00:53:12,648 --> 00:53:13,857 Out of the car. 761 00:53:13,983 --> 00:53:16,025 Just stand over there, lady. Just stand over there. 762 00:53:16,193 --> 00:53:18,152 Come on. Get out, buster! 763 00:53:18,279 --> 00:53:20,238 You're in a lot of trouble, lady. 764 00:53:20,364 --> 00:53:23,741 I got you down here for several offenses, including... 765 00:53:23,868 --> 00:53:26,953 possession of a stolen vehicle, resisting arrest... 766 00:53:27,079 --> 00:53:29,455 and possession of a stolen tree... Where's the tree? 767 00:53:29,582 --> 00:53:31,875 - We planted it. - You planted it. 768 00:53:32,042 --> 00:53:34,210 - Is this your shovel? - Uh, no. 769 00:53:34,336 --> 00:53:37,881 - [Shovel Clatters] - Possession of a stolen shovel. 770 00:53:38,007 --> 00:53:40,675 Don't get officious. You're not yourself when you're officious. 771 00:53:40,801 --> 00:53:43,761 That's the curse of a government job. 772 00:53:49,852 --> 00:53:51,728 Oh, lady. 773 00:53:53,898 --> 00:53:56,316 Are you gonna take a lot of time with this? 774 00:53:56,442 --> 00:53:58,526 - Lady, please? - Because if you are... 775 00:53:58,652 --> 00:54:01,154 Will you be just quiet, please? 776 00:54:05,826 --> 00:54:07,952 [Whispering] Grab the shovel, Harold! 777 00:54:18,505 --> 00:54:21,382 Lady! Stop, or I'll have to shoot! [Groans] 778 00:54:26,722 --> 00:54:28,848 [Clicks] 779 00:54:46,784 --> 00:54:48,952 I sure am picking up on vices. 780 00:54:50,245 --> 00:54:53,623 Vice, virtue. It's best not to be too moral. 781 00:54:53,749 --> 00:54:55,750 You cheat yourself out of too much life. 782 00:54:55,876 --> 00:54:57,794 Aim above morality. 783 00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:00,922 If you apply that to life... 784 00:55:01,048 --> 00:55:04,133 then you're bound to live it fully. 785 00:55:10,099 --> 00:55:12,016 I haven't lived. 786 00:55:15,813 --> 00:55:17,772 I've died a few times. 787 00:55:17,898 --> 00:55:19,315 What was that? 788 00:55:20,901 --> 00:55:23,444 Well, uh... 789 00:55:24,655 --> 00:55:26,572 the first time... 790 00:55:27,658 --> 00:55:30,576 was when I was at boarding school in the chemistry lab. 791 00:55:30,703 --> 00:55:32,620 I was in there cleaning it up... 792 00:55:33,664 --> 00:55:37,250 so I decided I'd do a little experimenting, you know. 793 00:55:37,376 --> 00:55:40,670 So I get all this stuff out and begin mixing it up. 794 00:55:40,796 --> 00:55:42,380 It was very scientific. 795 00:55:45,426 --> 00:55:47,969 There was this massive explosion. 796 00:55:48,095 --> 00:55:51,681 It knocked me down and blew out a huge hole in the floor. 797 00:55:51,849 --> 00:55:56,019 There was boards and bricks and flames leapin' up. 798 00:55:56,186 --> 00:55:58,813 I figured, you know... 799 00:55:58,939 --> 00:56:00,815 time to leave. 800 00:56:00,941 --> 00:56:04,193 My career in school was over. 801 00:56:04,319 --> 00:56:08,156 So, uh, I went home. 802 00:56:08,282 --> 00:56:10,450 My mother was giving a party, so I just went... 803 00:56:10,576 --> 00:56:13,494 right up the back stairs and to my room... 804 00:56:13,620 --> 00:56:16,414 turned out the light, and, uh... 805 00:56:16,540 --> 00:56:18,916 I got this funny feeling. 806 00:56:20,127 --> 00:56:24,172 The doorbell rang. I went out to the banister... 807 00:56:24,298 --> 00:56:27,175 and these two policemen came in... 808 00:56:27,301 --> 00:56:29,886 found my mother... 809 00:56:30,012 --> 00:56:33,056 and, uh, told her... 810 00:56:33,223 --> 00:56:36,559 that I was killed in the fire. 811 00:56:36,727 --> 00:56:40,146 She put one hand up to her forehead. 812 00:56:40,272 --> 00:56:43,900 With the other she reached out as if groping for support... 813 00:56:44,068 --> 00:56:47,779 and with this long sigh... 814 00:56:47,905 --> 00:56:51,324 she collapsed in their arms. 815 00:57:07,091 --> 00:57:09,300 [Sobbing] 816 00:57:20,229 --> 00:57:22,855 I decided right then... 817 00:57:22,981 --> 00:57:25,441 that I enjoyed being dead. 818 00:57:26,485 --> 00:57:28,111 I understand. 819 00:57:28,278 --> 00:57:31,155 A lot of people enjoy being dead. 820 00:57:31,281 --> 00:57:33,282 But they're not dead, really. 821 00:57:33,450 --> 00:57:37,703 They're just backing away from life. 822 00:57:37,830 --> 00:57:40,456 Reach out. Take a chance. 823 00:57:41,542 --> 00:57:43,626 Get hurt, even. 824 00:57:43,752 --> 00:57:46,838 But play as well as ya can. 825 00:57:46,964 --> 00:57:49,423 Go, team, go! 826 00:57:49,550 --> 00:57:52,802 Give me an I, give me an I, give me a V, give me an E. 827 00:57:52,928 --> 00:57:55,805 L-I-V-E, live! 828 00:57:57,474 --> 00:58:01,144 Otherwise you got nothin' to talk about in the locker room. 829 00:58:11,905 --> 00:58:14,490 I like you, Maude. 830 00:58:15,659 --> 00:58:17,660 I like you, Harold. 831 00:58:21,456 --> 00:58:23,457 ♪♪ [Maude Humming] 832 00:58:52,696 --> 00:58:54,822 Harold is down at the garage. 833 00:58:54,948 --> 00:58:57,867 He has a new car, and he's just been tuning it up. 834 00:58:57,993 --> 00:59:00,411 - He's very mechanical. - What kind of car is it? 835 00:59:00,537 --> 00:59:03,497 - It's a little Jaguar. - Oh. 836 00:59:05,667 --> 00:59:07,585 Looks like a hearse. 837 00:59:08,754 --> 00:59:11,631 Very nice. Compact. 838 00:59:11,757 --> 00:59:14,050 Edith, I'd like you to meet my son, Harold. 839 00:59:14,218 --> 00:59:16,510 Harold, this is Edith... 840 00:59:16,637 --> 00:59:18,304 - Phern. - Phern. 841 00:59:18,430 --> 00:59:20,306 Very pleased to make your acquaintance. 842 00:59:20,432 --> 00:59:22,391 I think you should go and wash up, dear... 843 00:59:22,517 --> 00:59:25,561 and join us in the drawing room. 844 00:59:25,687 --> 00:59:27,563 And what do you do, my dear? 845 00:59:27,689 --> 00:59:30,775 I'm a file clerk at Harrison Feed and Grain. 846 00:59:30,901 --> 00:59:33,945 Well, what is it exactly that you do? 847 00:59:34,071 --> 00:59:36,906 I'm in charge of all the invoices for the southwest. 848 00:59:37,074 --> 00:59:40,243 - How interesting. - We supply, for example... 849 00:59:40,369 --> 00:59:42,495 most of the egg farmers in Petaluma. 850 00:59:42,621 --> 00:59:45,248 - So you can imagine. - Yes. 851 00:59:47,417 --> 00:59:49,418 Oh, here's Harold now. 852 00:59:49,586 --> 00:59:51,587 Don't get up, dear. 853 00:59:57,761 --> 01:00:00,263 Edith has been talking about her job. 854 01:00:00,430 --> 01:00:03,474 - I'm a file clerk. - Henderson Feed and Grain. 855 01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:05,726 Harrison. Harrison Feed and Grain. 856 01:00:05,852 --> 01:00:07,728 It's at Hamilton and Fourth... 857 01:00:07,854 --> 01:00:09,772 and I'm in charge of all the invoices. 858 01:00:11,191 --> 01:00:13,609 I type up the schedule for the trucking fleet. 859 01:00:13,735 --> 01:00:16,612 She supplies the whole southwest with chicken feed. 860 01:00:16,780 --> 01:00:19,407 Well, not exactly the whole southwest... 861 01:00:19,533 --> 01:00:21,701 although we do do a large business. 862 01:00:21,827 --> 01:00:23,703 Barley was very big last week. 863 01:00:23,829 --> 01:00:26,497 Fifteen hundred... bushels. 864 01:00:48,103 --> 01:00:50,813 In view of your recent actions, Harold... 865 01:00:50,939 --> 01:00:53,232 I find you have left me with no recourse... 866 01:00:53,358 --> 01:00:55,985 but to listen to the solution proposed by your uncle. 867 01:00:56,111 --> 01:00:59,238 Consequently, I have instruCted him forthwith... 868 01:00:59,364 --> 01:01:01,324 to induct you into the service... 869 01:01:01,450 --> 01:01:05,077 and, for your own good, to take up active duty... 870 01:01:05,203 --> 01:01:07,705 with the United States Army. 871 01:01:08,832 --> 01:01:12,668 And I hope they have more luck with you than I. 872 01:01:14,296 --> 01:01:17,506 [Harold] Maude, they're gonna draft me. 873 01:01:17,632 --> 01:01:19,717 [Maude] Well, don't go. 874 01:01:19,843 --> 01:01:21,802 [Harold] They'll put me in jail. 875 01:01:21,928 --> 01:01:24,722 [Maude] Well, historically, you'd be in very good company. 876 01:01:30,145 --> 01:01:32,980 [Harold] Maude, can you help me? 877 01:01:33,106 --> 01:01:35,524 [Maude] Well, with your skill and my experience... 878 01:01:35,692 --> 01:01:38,027 I think we can come up with something. 879 01:01:39,237 --> 01:01:41,781 [Victor] Harold, I want you to look at me like your father in this matter. 880 01:01:41,907 --> 01:01:45,034 Oh, I know you have no desire to join the army, but once you're in... 881 01:01:45,202 --> 01:01:47,536 you'll love it. 882 01:01:47,662 --> 01:01:50,039 It's a great life. Look at me. 883 01:01:50,207 --> 01:01:53,417 A chauffeur. Respect. Money in the bank. 884 01:01:54,711 --> 01:01:58,255 Oh, it has its drawbacks, like anything else, I suppose. 885 01:01:58,382 --> 01:02:00,299 But the army takes care of you. 886 01:02:00,425 --> 01:02:03,552 And you've got a buddy for life. 887 01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:06,055 ♪♪ [Chauffeur Whistling] 888 01:02:06,223 --> 01:02:08,057 [Victor] Good idea comin' out here, Harold. 889 01:02:08,225 --> 01:02:10,810 - It's a lovely spot. - Thank you, Uncle. 890 01:02:10,936 --> 01:02:14,397 Call me "sir," Harold. It's the first thing you learn in the army. 891 01:02:14,523 --> 01:02:16,524 An officer deserves your respect. 892 01:02:16,650 --> 01:02:18,359 [Harold] Yes, sir. 893 01:02:19,611 --> 01:02:21,904 Now, let's examine the facts on it. 894 01:02:23,073 --> 01:02:25,032 I say this country has been too harsh... 895 01:02:25,158 --> 01:02:28,160 in its outright condemnation of war. 896 01:02:28,286 --> 01:02:31,247 I say you can point to the many material advantages brought about... 897 01:02:31,373 --> 01:02:33,916 by a crisis-and-conflict policy. 898 01:02:34,084 --> 01:02:37,711 - Hell, World War II gave us the ballpoint pen. - [Man Groaning, Wheezing] 899 01:02:37,838 --> 01:02:40,464 During wartime, the national suicide rate goes down. 900 01:02:40,590 --> 01:02:41,882 Is that a faCt? 901 01:02:42,008 --> 01:02:45,594 Now, why in hell did we give up on the Germans? 902 01:02:45,720 --> 01:02:49,849 Since the damn politicians in Washington chalked them up on our side... 903 01:02:49,975 --> 01:02:52,768 the wars ever since have been a national disgrace. 904 01:02:52,936 --> 01:02:54,603 Hell, look at history. 905 01:02:54,729 --> 01:02:58,399 Why, the two best wars this country ever fought were against the Jerries. 906 01:02:58,525 --> 01:03:01,444 I say get the Krauts on the other side of the fence where they belong. 907 01:03:01,611 --> 01:03:03,737 Let's get back to the kind of enemy worth killing... 908 01:03:03,864 --> 01:03:06,615 and the kind of war this whole country can support. 909 01:03:06,783 --> 01:03:09,243 Wow. That's pretty strong stuff, sir. 910 01:03:10,412 --> 01:03:13,456 Well, Harold, I've always been a man who speaks his piece. 911 01:03:14,791 --> 01:03:18,085 Oh, it's hurt me. I'm not liked in Washington. 912 01:03:18,211 --> 01:03:20,254 I know that. 913 01:03:20,380 --> 01:03:22,882 But I do have friends in high places. 914 01:03:25,093 --> 01:03:28,679 [Victor Imitating Machine-Gun Fire] They kept falling. Zock! 915 01:03:28,805 --> 01:03:31,599 Joe falls back, a neat red hole in the middle of his head. 916 01:03:31,725 --> 01:03:35,811 [Imitating Machine-Gun Fire] Only one thing kept going through my mind: 917 01:03:35,937 --> 01:03:38,647 "Kill! Kill! For Joe... 918 01:03:38,773 --> 01:03:41,192 and Mac and all the rest of the guys. 919 01:03:41,318 --> 01:03:44,111 Kill!" And then there was a blinding flash! 920 01:03:48,825 --> 01:03:51,785 And I woke up on the stretcher. 921 01:03:55,582 --> 01:03:58,083 "Did we hold?" I asked the medic. 922 01:03:59,169 --> 01:04:00,794 "Yes, sir!" he said. 923 01:04:05,467 --> 01:04:09,220 And I slipped into unconsciousness. 924 01:04:10,388 --> 01:04:12,723 Boy! Wow! 925 01:04:12,849 --> 01:04:15,684 That's a terrific story, sir. 926 01:04:16,895 --> 01:04:18,896 Well... 927 01:04:19,022 --> 01:04:21,690 you'll have stories like that to tell of your own someday, Harold. 928 01:04:21,816 --> 01:04:24,193 - Do you think so, sir? - Sure, you will. 929 01:04:24,361 --> 01:04:27,988 Gee, I never dreamed it could be that... exciting. 930 01:04:28,114 --> 01:04:30,699 Ah, it's the most exciting thing in the world, Harold. 931 01:04:30,825 --> 01:04:32,201 To pit... 932 01:04:32,327 --> 01:04:35,204 - your own life against another. - Yes! 933 01:04:35,330 --> 01:04:37,373 To kill. 934 01:04:37,541 --> 01:04:39,959 The taste of blood in your mouth. 935 01:04:40,085 --> 01:04:42,211 The moment of truth. 936 01:04:42,379 --> 01:04:45,214 Another man's life in your sights! 937 01:04:45,340 --> 01:04:46,715 - Yes! - Zat! 938 01:04:46,883 --> 01:04:49,885 - Will they really teach me to shoot? - Sure, they will. A variety of weapons. 939 01:04:50,011 --> 01:04:51,845 - To use a bayonet? - Yes! 940 01:04:51,972 --> 01:04:54,807 Hah! How about hand-to-hand combat? 941 01:04:54,933 --> 01:04:57,560 - Yes. - To strangle someone! Choke him! 942 01:04:57,727 --> 01:05:00,187 Squeeze out his life in your own bare hands! 943 01:05:00,313 --> 01:05:02,189 I think you're getting carried away, Harold. 944 01:05:02,315 --> 01:05:05,067 - How about to slit his throat? - Well, I don't know about that. 945 01:05:05,235 --> 01:05:07,820 I'd like that. You could see the blood squirt out. How about souvenirs? 946 01:05:07,946 --> 01:05:09,738 - Souvenirs? - Of your kill. 947 01:05:09,864 --> 01:05:12,908 Eyes, ears, nose, scalp, privates. 948 01:05:13,034 --> 01:05:15,578 - Harold! - Hey, what would be the chance... 949 01:05:15,704 --> 01:05:17,663 of getting one of these? 950 01:05:17,789 --> 01:05:19,832 Boy, to think I could maybe make my own! 951 01:05:19,958 --> 01:05:23,127 - Harold, that's disgusting! - It certainly is! 952 01:05:23,253 --> 01:05:26,714 - Madam, who are you? - I am petitioning for peace. 953 01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:28,173 - Parasite! - Harold! 954 01:05:28,300 --> 01:05:30,301 - And I came out here to speak. - Crazy parasite! 955 01:05:30,427 --> 01:05:32,928 - Harold! - Commie bastard! Get the hell out of here! 956 01:05:33,096 --> 01:05:34,638 Don't you talk to me like that... 957 01:05:34,764 --> 01:05:36,849 - you little foulmouthed degenerate! - Traitor! BenediCt Arnold! 958 01:05:36,975 --> 01:05:39,643 - Remember Nathan Hale! Right, sir? - Harold, calm down. 959 01:05:39,769 --> 01:05:43,147 - She's a commie pig! - Don't you advance on me. 960 01:05:43,273 --> 01:05:44,773 You'll all end up like this! 961 01:05:44,941 --> 01:05:47,109 - Ooh! Ooh! - Just like this! 962 01:05:47,235 --> 01:05:48,611 - Ooh, filth! - Harold! 963 01:05:48,778 --> 01:05:50,821 Ooh! Give me that. I'm gonna throw that... 964 01:05:50,947 --> 01:05:52,823 - in the sewer, where it belongs. - Madam, please! 965 01:05:52,949 --> 01:05:55,284 - She took my head. - Calm down, Harold. 966 01:05:55,410 --> 01:05:58,287 - She took my head! I'll kill her! - Calm down. Harold! 967 01:05:58,413 --> 01:06:00,831 - I'll kill her! - Harold! 968 01:06:00,957 --> 01:06:02,958 - [Maude, Harold Screaming] - Madam! 969 01:06:03,084 --> 01:06:05,961 Give back the head. Let's have no troubles. Harold! 970 01:06:06,129 --> 01:06:08,839 - [Screaming Continues] - Madam! 971 01:06:08,965 --> 01:06:11,050 Harold! Damn you! 972 01:06:11,176 --> 01:06:13,510 Just a minute! 973 01:06:13,637 --> 01:06:15,888 You traitor! 974 01:06:16,014 --> 01:06:18,641 - I'll kill you! - Harold! 975 01:06:18,767 --> 01:06:20,809 You commie bastard! 976 01:06:20,977 --> 01:06:25,147 - I'll kill you! You... [Screaming] - Harold! 977 01:06:25,273 --> 01:06:28,692 Stop it! Harold! Harold! 978 01:06:30,654 --> 01:06:32,571 [Splash] 979 01:06:49,714 --> 01:06:51,840 What have you done? 980 01:06:52,008 --> 01:06:53,926 [Birds Chirping] 981 01:06:56,888 --> 01:06:58,514 Maude? 982 01:06:58,640 --> 01:07:00,432 Hmm? 983 01:07:01,976 --> 01:07:03,686 Do you pray? 984 01:07:04,854 --> 01:07:06,772 "Pray"? No. 985 01:07:06,898 --> 01:07:09,358 I communicate. 986 01:07:09,484 --> 01:07:11,485 With God? 987 01:07:11,611 --> 01:07:13,487 With life. 988 01:07:17,617 --> 01:07:20,035 - [Harold] This is real nice. - Yeah. 989 01:07:20,203 --> 01:07:22,079 [Harold] Makes me want to do somersaults. 990 01:07:22,205 --> 01:07:25,958 - Well, why don't you? - [Harold Chuckles] I'd feel stupid. 991 01:07:26,084 --> 01:07:28,502 Harold... 992 01:07:28,628 --> 01:07:31,463 everyone has the right to make an ass out of themselves. 993 01:07:31,589 --> 01:07:34,591 You can't let the world judge you too much. 994 01:07:38,138 --> 01:07:40,055 - [Exhales Forcefully] - [Chuckles] 995 01:07:45,729 --> 01:07:47,938 [Maude Chuckling] 996 01:07:54,028 --> 01:07:58,073 Uh, do you care to join me in a little cartwheel? 997 01:07:59,200 --> 01:08:03,537 No, I feel more like yelling. 998 01:08:03,663 --> 01:08:05,914 [Yelling] 999 01:08:07,250 --> 01:08:09,293 [Tarzan Yell] 1000 01:08:12,756 --> 01:08:16,300 ♪ Well, if you want to sing out, sing out ♪ 1001 01:08:16,426 --> 01:08:19,928 ♪ And if you want to be free, be free ♪ 1002 01:08:20,054 --> 01:08:23,432 ♪ 'Cause there's a million things to be ♪ 1003 01:08:23,600 --> 01:08:25,559 ♪ You know that there are ♪ 1004 01:08:27,562 --> 01:08:31,106 ♪ And if you want to be me, be me ♪ 1005 01:08:31,232 --> 01:08:34,109 ♪ And if you want to be you, be you ♪ 1006 01:08:34,235 --> 01:08:37,905 ♪ 'Cause there's a million things to do ♪ 1007 01:08:38,031 --> 01:08:40,115 ♪ You know that there are ♪ 1008 01:08:43,453 --> 01:08:45,579 ♪ You can do what you want ♪ 1009 01:08:46,873 --> 01:08:49,917 ♪ The opportunity's on ♪ 1010 01:08:50,084 --> 01:08:53,003 ♪ And if you find a new way ♪ 1011 01:08:54,172 --> 01:08:56,507 ♪ You can do it today ♪ 1012 01:08:57,759 --> 01:09:00,552 ♪ You can make it all true ♪ 1013 01:09:01,596 --> 01:09:03,722 ♪ And you can make it undo ♪ 1014 01:09:03,848 --> 01:09:05,891 ♪ You see ♪♪ 1015 01:09:10,313 --> 01:09:12,105 Maude... 1016 01:09:13,316 --> 01:09:16,360 I had the most wonderful day today. 1017 01:09:16,486 --> 01:09:18,445 And... 1018 01:09:19,489 --> 01:09:21,698 you're very beautiful. 1019 01:09:23,535 --> 01:09:27,162 Oh, Harold. [Chuckling, Squealing] 1020 01:09:27,288 --> 01:09:30,082 You make me feel like a schoolgirl. 1021 01:09:38,967 --> 01:09:42,177 Shall I come and visit you tomorrow? Oh, I can't. 1022 01:09:42,303 --> 01:09:46,348 I have a luncheon, uh, date... with a girl. 1023 01:09:47,892 --> 01:09:49,852 - Oh. - Well, I don't even know her. 1024 01:09:50,019 --> 01:09:52,312 My mother arranged it. 1025 01:09:56,150 --> 01:09:59,319 [Gasps] Look! Oh! 1026 01:10:00,697 --> 01:10:03,615 Dreyfus once wrote from Devil's Island that he would see... 1027 01:10:03,741 --> 01:10:05,993 the most glorious birds. 1028 01:10:06,119 --> 01:10:07,995 Many years later in Brittany... 1029 01:10:08,121 --> 01:10:12,374 he realized they had only been seagulls. 1030 01:10:12,500 --> 01:10:15,794 ♪ Ah, ah, ah, it's easy ♪ 1031 01:10:15,920 --> 01:10:19,214 ♪ Ah, ah, ah, you only need to know ♪ 1032 01:10:19,340 --> 01:10:22,885 To me they will always be glorious birds. 1033 01:10:23,052 --> 01:10:26,471 ♪ Well, if you want to sing out, sing out ♪ 1034 01:10:26,598 --> 01:10:29,892 ♪ And if you want to be free, be free ♪ 1035 01:10:30,059 --> 01:10:33,186 ♪ 'Cause there's a million things to be ♪ 1036 01:10:33,313 --> 01:10:40,652 ♪ You know that there are You know that there are ♪ 1037 01:10:40,778 --> 01:10:44,156 ♪ You know that there are ♪♪ 1038 01:10:48,119 --> 01:10:51,622 Now, Harold, I cannot impress upon you too strongly... 1039 01:10:51,748 --> 01:10:53,582 the importance of this meeting. 1040 01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:58,086 This is the last girl, so kindly remember that this is your third and final chance. 1041 01:10:58,212 --> 01:11:00,631 And please try to be serious, Harold. 1042 01:11:00,757 --> 01:11:03,508 If not for your sake, at least for hers. 1043 01:11:03,635 --> 01:11:05,594 Oh, there she is. 1044 01:11:05,720 --> 01:11:08,138 Sunshine, I'd like you to meet Harold. 1045 01:11:08,264 --> 01:11:10,474 Harold, this is Sunshine Doré. 1046 01:11:10,600 --> 01:11:14,895 - Howdy... How do you do? - Oh, I can't complain. 1047 01:11:15,980 --> 01:11:18,065 Sunshine is an actress, Harold. 1048 01:11:18,191 --> 01:11:20,943 - I like to think so. - Mm, wonderful. 1049 01:11:21,069 --> 01:11:24,029 Well, now, why don't you two go along down... 1050 01:11:24,155 --> 01:11:26,615 to the music room, and I'll follow on later with some drinks? 1051 01:11:26,741 --> 01:11:29,368 Oh, perhaps Starlight would like a cigarette. 1052 01:11:29,494 --> 01:11:33,205 - Ooh! "Sunshine." - Oh, yes, of course. 1053 01:11:33,331 --> 01:11:35,123 Sunshine. 1054 01:11:37,794 --> 01:11:40,128 [Door Opens, Closes] 1055 01:11:46,636 --> 01:11:47,970 Ooh! 1056 01:11:53,267 --> 01:11:55,352 Would you like a cigarette? 1057 01:11:55,478 --> 01:11:58,647 No, thank you. They stain my fingers. 1058 01:11:58,773 --> 01:12:01,900 Is Sunshine your real name? 1059 01:12:02,026 --> 01:12:06,154 Well, actually it was the name of my drama teacher. Louis Sunshine. 1060 01:12:06,280 --> 01:12:08,156 Perhaps you've heard of him. [Gasps] 1061 01:12:08,282 --> 01:12:10,283 He was such an influence... 1062 01:12:10,410 --> 01:12:13,370 on the development of my instrument. 1063 01:12:13,496 --> 01:12:16,957 That means "my body" in theater talk. 1064 01:12:17,083 --> 01:12:20,335 Doré is my real name. 1065 01:12:20,461 --> 01:12:23,755 Well, Dorr, actually. 1066 01:12:23,881 --> 01:12:28,510 Oh, my, what a lovely place you have here! 1067 01:12:29,554 --> 01:12:31,847 [Door Creaking] 1068 01:12:38,146 --> 01:12:40,022 Oh, do you play? 1069 01:12:40,148 --> 01:12:42,024 No. 1070 01:12:42,150 --> 01:12:45,193 I am learning the ba... the harmonica. 1071 01:12:47,155 --> 01:12:50,449 Oh, is this your father? 1072 01:12:50,575 --> 01:12:53,201 No. My Uncle Victor. 1073 01:12:53,327 --> 01:12:55,746 He's in the army. 1074 01:12:55,872 --> 01:13:00,125 I do so like the military, don't you? 1075 01:13:00,251 --> 01:13:02,711 Oh! What a wonderful colleCtion of knives! 1076 01:13:02,837 --> 01:13:05,505 - May I see them? - No, no, don't touch. They're very old. 1077 01:13:05,631 --> 01:13:07,966 Do you enjoy knives? 1078 01:13:08,092 --> 01:13:09,718 Oh, yes. 1079 01:13:09,886 --> 01:13:12,721 You might find this one particularly interesting. 1080 01:13:12,889 --> 01:13:15,057 It's a hara-kiri blade. 1081 01:13:15,224 --> 01:13:18,393 [Excited Chuckle] What's hara-kiri? 1082 01:14:25,586 --> 01:14:29,131 [Cries Out] 1083 01:14:29,298 --> 01:14:31,216 [Groaning] 1084 01:14:36,472 --> 01:14:39,099 Sukiyaki! 1085 01:14:46,065 --> 01:14:48,942 Oh! 1086 01:14:49,068 --> 01:14:51,611 Harold! 1087 01:14:51,737 --> 01:14:55,407 Oh, that was marvelous! 1088 01:14:55,533 --> 01:14:58,243 Oh, it had the ring of truth! 1089 01:14:58,369 --> 01:15:00,996 I played Juliet... 1090 01:15:01,164 --> 01:15:03,290 in the Sunshine Playhouse. 1091 01:15:03,416 --> 01:15:05,834 Louie thought it was my best performance. 1092 01:15:08,462 --> 01:15:10,005 [Declaiming] What's here? 1093 01:15:10,131 --> 01:15:14,134 A cup? Closèd in my true love's hand? 1094 01:15:14,260 --> 01:15:16,094 [Sniffing] 1095 01:15:16,220 --> 01:15:17,846 Poison, I see... 1096 01:15:18,014 --> 01:15:22,267 hath been his timeless end. 1097 01:15:22,393 --> 01:15:26,021 Oh, happy dagger... 1098 01:15:27,064 --> 01:15:30,066 Oh, happy dagger... 1099 01:15:30,193 --> 01:15:32,068 this is thy sheath. 1100 01:15:32,195 --> 01:15:34,196 There rest... [Groans] 1101 01:15:34,322 --> 01:15:38,450 And let me die! [Cries Out] 1102 01:15:38,576 --> 01:15:40,869 [Groaning] 1103 01:15:45,708 --> 01:15:48,877 I fall. [Weak Groaning] 1104 01:16:00,765 --> 01:16:03,558 [Gasps] Harold! 1105 01:16:08,898 --> 01:16:11,274 That was your last date! 1106 01:16:17,823 --> 01:16:20,158 - ♪♪ [Calliope] - [Raucous Laughter] 1107 01:16:25,331 --> 01:16:27,457 [People Screaming] 1108 01:16:47,979 --> 01:16:50,313 That wasn't very scary. 1109 01:16:50,439 --> 01:16:53,066 No. It had nothing on this afternoon. 1110 01:16:53,192 --> 01:16:55,568 Oh, come on. You loved it. 1111 01:16:55,695 --> 01:16:58,947 - It was a new experience. - [Maude Chuckles] 1112 01:16:59,073 --> 01:17:00,991 [Train Whistles Blowing] 1113 01:17:36,944 --> 01:17:39,279 - [Bell Rings] - [All Laughing] 1114 01:17:50,291 --> 01:17:52,208 [People Cheering] 1115 01:17:55,463 --> 01:17:57,422 [Harold] You sure have a way with people. 1116 01:17:57,548 --> 01:18:01,009 [Maude Chuckles] Well, they're my species. 1117 01:18:05,181 --> 01:18:07,057 [Harold] Look at these stars. 1118 01:18:07,183 --> 01:18:08,975 [Maude] Mm. 1119 01:18:12,188 --> 01:18:14,064 Maude? 1120 01:18:14,190 --> 01:18:16,149 Yes? 1121 01:18:22,490 --> 01:18:25,283 - Here. - [Gasps] 1122 01:18:25,409 --> 01:18:27,369 A gift. 1123 01:18:33,542 --> 01:18:35,668 "Harold loves Maude." 1124 01:18:41,467 --> 01:18:44,219 And Maude loves Harold. 1125 01:18:47,556 --> 01:18:50,183 This is the nicest present... 1126 01:18:50,309 --> 01:18:52,685 that I've received in years. 1127 01:18:59,360 --> 01:19:01,277 [Splash] 1128 01:19:03,364 --> 01:19:06,741 So I'll always know where it is. 1129 01:19:27,638 --> 01:19:30,265 ♪ I think I see the light ♪ 1130 01:19:30,433 --> 01:19:34,853 ♪ Comin' to me Comin' through me ♪ 1131 01:19:34,979 --> 01:19:37,897 ♪ Givin' me a second sight ♪ 1132 01:19:40,609 --> 01:19:43,611 ♪ So shine, shine, shine ♪ 1133 01:19:43,779 --> 01:19:54,873 ♪ Shine, shine, shine ♪ 1134 01:19:54,999 --> 01:19:59,210 ♪ Shine, shine, shine ♪♪ 1135 01:20:05,009 --> 01:20:07,552 Oh, could I speak with Fay, please? 1136 01:20:09,972 --> 01:20:14,350 Fay? Darling, I know René will be furious, but... 1137 01:20:14,477 --> 01:20:17,312 Well, if he knew what I had to put up with in the last few days... 1138 01:20:17,480 --> 01:20:19,314 - Mother? - Not now, dear. 1139 01:20:19,482 --> 01:20:21,316 So could you put me down for Monday? 1140 01:20:21,484 --> 01:20:24,611 - Mother, I'd like to talk to you for a minute. - I'm on the phone, dear. 1141 01:20:24,737 --> 01:20:28,323 - I'm getting married. - What did you say? 1142 01:20:30,075 --> 01:20:31,826 I'm getting married. 1143 01:20:34,205 --> 01:20:36,247 Hold the line, Fay. 1144 01:20:38,375 --> 01:20:40,335 To whom? 1145 01:20:47,009 --> 01:20:50,053 I suppose you think this is very funny, Harold. 1146 01:20:50,179 --> 01:20:52,096 A sunflower. 1147 01:20:58,312 --> 01:21:01,189 You can't be serious! 1148 01:21:22,753 --> 01:21:24,712 [Footsteps Marching] 1149 01:21:24,880 --> 01:21:28,550 Harold, your mother has spoken to me about your marriage plan. 1150 01:21:28,717 --> 01:21:31,553 And although normally I have nothing against marriage... 1151 01:21:31,720 --> 01:21:33,763 - [Man] Troop... - I don't think this is quite... 1152 01:21:33,889 --> 01:21:36,391 - hup! - Uh, normal. 1153 01:21:36,559 --> 01:21:38,560 A very common neurosis... 1154 01:21:38,727 --> 01:21:41,187 particularly in this society... 1155 01:21:41,313 --> 01:21:44,566 whereby the male child subconsciously... 1156 01:21:44,733 --> 01:21:47,360 wishes to sleep with his mother. 1157 01:21:47,486 --> 01:21:49,862 Of course, what puzzles me, Harold... 1158 01:21:49,989 --> 01:21:52,907 is that you want to sleep with your grandmother. 1159 01:21:53,075 --> 01:21:56,244 I would be remiss in my duty... 1160 01:21:56,370 --> 01:21:58,121 if I did not tell you... 1161 01:21:59,206 --> 01:22:01,124 that the idea of... 1162 01:22:03,669 --> 01:22:05,587 interCourse... 1163 01:22:08,048 --> 01:22:10,633 the fact of your firm young... 1164 01:22:12,428 --> 01:22:14,304 body... 1165 01:22:17,141 --> 01:22:19,100 commingling... 1166 01:22:20,686 --> 01:22:22,854 with the... 1167 01:22:22,980 --> 01:22:25,106 withered flesh... 1168 01:22:26,442 --> 01:22:28,610 sagging... 1169 01:22:28,736 --> 01:22:31,112 breasts... 1170 01:22:31,238 --> 01:22:34,324 and... flabby... 1171 01:22:36,118 --> 01:22:38,077 bu... 1172 01:22:39,622 --> 01:22:41,581 buttocks... 1173 01:22:43,500 --> 01:22:45,710 makes me want... 1174 01:22:47,838 --> 01:22:50,214 to vomit. 1175 01:22:50,341 --> 01:22:52,258 [Maude] Mm. 1176 01:23:02,019 --> 01:23:03,978 Oh, Harold! 1177 01:23:05,189 --> 01:23:07,982 It's dazzling. 1178 01:23:13,489 --> 01:23:16,282 ♪♪ [Harold Vocalizing] 1179 01:23:39,515 --> 01:23:42,141 You've thought of everything. 1180 01:23:42,267 --> 01:23:44,686 And champagne. [Inhales Deeply] 1181 01:23:44,853 --> 01:23:46,771 It's all right. It's organic. 1182 01:23:48,524 --> 01:23:50,358 Oh, Harold. 1183 01:23:54,488 --> 01:23:56,239 For you. 1184 01:24:00,786 --> 01:24:02,704 And, uh... 1185 01:24:04,164 --> 01:24:06,207 after dinner... 1186 01:24:12,923 --> 01:24:15,091 one more little surprise... 1187 01:24:17,553 --> 01:24:21,097 that I hope will make you very happy. 1188 01:24:21,223 --> 01:24:23,391 Oh, Harold. 1189 01:24:23,559 --> 01:24:25,518 I am happy. 1190 01:24:32,234 --> 01:24:35,611 I couldn't imagine a lovelier farewell. 1191 01:24:39,074 --> 01:24:41,534 Farewell? 1192 01:24:41,660 --> 01:24:43,578 Yes, it's my 80th birthday. 1193 01:24:46,582 --> 01:24:49,208 Well, you're not goin' anywhere. 1194 01:24:50,878 --> 01:24:52,754 - Are you? - Yes, dear. 1195 01:24:52,880 --> 01:24:56,632 I took the tablets an hour ago. 1196 01:24:56,759 --> 01:24:59,135 I'll be gone by midnight. 1197 01:25:14,818 --> 01:25:16,194 What? 1198 01:25:16,320 --> 01:25:18,279 [Siren Wailing] 1199 01:25:22,326 --> 01:25:26,245 [Maude] What a fuss this is. So unnecessary. 1200 01:25:26,371 --> 01:25:29,248 Don't die, Maude, for chrissake. 1201 01:25:29,374 --> 01:25:32,460 Oh, Harold. 1202 01:25:32,586 --> 01:25:35,630 Don't upset yourself so. 1203 01:25:35,756 --> 01:25:40,343 I love you! 1204 01:25:42,513 --> 01:25:44,972 Oh, Harold. 1205 01:25:45,098 --> 01:25:47,850 That is wonderful. 1206 01:25:49,478 --> 01:25:52,522 Go and love some more. 1207 01:25:54,441 --> 01:25:56,025 No. 1208 01:25:57,694 --> 01:26:01,155 Never. Never. [Sobbing] 1209 01:26:01,323 --> 01:26:03,199 ♪ Trouble ♪ 1210 01:26:03,325 --> 01:26:06,953 ♪ Oh, trouble, set me free ♪ 1211 01:26:08,080 --> 01:26:10,164 ♪ I have seen your face ♪ 1212 01:26:10,290 --> 01:26:14,293 ♪ And it's too much too much for me ♪ 1213 01:26:16,338 --> 01:26:18,381 ♪ Trouble ♪ 1214 01:26:18,507 --> 01:26:22,009 ♪ Oh, trouble, can't you see ♪ 1215 01:26:23,178 --> 01:26:25,179 ♪ You're eatin' my heart away ♪ 1216 01:26:25,305 --> 01:26:29,016 ♪ And there's nothing much left of me ♪ 1217 01:26:31,478 --> 01:26:36,315 ♪ I drunk your wine ♪ 1218 01:26:36,441 --> 01:26:39,861 ♪ You have made your work mine ♪ 1219 01:26:39,987 --> 01:26:46,367 ♪ So won't you be fair ♪ 1220 01:26:47,578 --> 01:26:52,206 ♪ I don't want no more ♪ 1221 01:26:52,332 --> 01:26:54,208 ♪ Of you ♪ 1222 01:26:54,334 --> 01:26:57,211 ♪ So won't you be kind to me ♪ 1223 01:26:57,337 --> 01:27:00,548 ♪ Just let me go where ♪ 1224 01:27:00,716 --> 01:27:03,885 ♪ I have to go there ♪ 1225 01:27:04,928 --> 01:27:07,638 - [No Audible Dialogue] - ♪ Trouble, oh ♪ 1226 01:27:07,764 --> 01:27:11,684 ♪ Trouble, move away ♪ 1227 01:27:11,810 --> 01:27:14,520 ♪ I have seen your face ♪ 1228 01:27:14,646 --> 01:27:18,774 ♪ And it's too much for me today ♪ 1229 01:27:20,027 --> 01:27:23,362 ♪ Trouble, oh ♪ 1230 01:27:23,488 --> 01:27:26,908 ♪ Trouble, can't you see ♪ 1231 01:27:27,034 --> 01:27:29,619 ♪ You have made me a wreck ♪ 1232 01:27:29,745 --> 01:27:32,955 ♪ Now, won't you leave me in my misery ♪ 1233 01:27:35,751 --> 01:27:39,921 ♪ I seen your eyes ♪ 1234 01:27:40,088 --> 01:27:43,925 ♪ And I can see death's disguise ♪ 1235 01:27:44,051 --> 01:27:46,636 ♪ Hanging on me ♪ 1236 01:27:46,762 --> 01:27:49,096 - [Engine Revving] - ♪ Hanging on me ♪ 1237 01:27:52,100 --> 01:27:57,188 ♪ Ah, I'm beat, I'm torn ♪ 1238 01:27:57,314 --> 01:28:00,942 ♪ Shattered and tossed and worn ♪ 1239 01:28:01,068 --> 01:28:07,239 ♪ Too shocking to see ♪ 1240 01:28:09,242 --> 01:28:11,118 ♪ Trouble ♪ 1241 01:28:11,244 --> 01:28:14,747 ♪ Oh, trouble, move from me ♪ 1242 01:28:16,375 --> 01:28:18,417 ♪ I have paid my debt ♪ 1243 01:28:18,543 --> 01:28:22,088 ♪ Now won't you leave me in my misery ♪ 1244 01:28:23,507 --> 01:28:25,716 ♪ Trouble ♪ 1245 01:28:25,842 --> 01:28:29,303 ♪ Oh, trouble, please be kind ♪ 1246 01:28:30,973 --> 01:28:33,015 ♪ I don't want no fight ♪ 1247 01:28:33,141 --> 01:28:36,560 ♪ And I haven't got a lot of time ♪♪ 1248 01:28:36,687 --> 01:28:38,646 [Engine Revving] 1249 01:30:01,313 --> 01:30:04,231 ♪♪ ["If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out] 1250 01:30:28,256 --> 01:30:31,759 ♪ Well, if you want to sing out, sing out ♪ 1251 01:30:31,927 --> 01:30:35,596 ♪ And if you want to be free, be free ♪ 1252 01:30:35,764 --> 01:30:38,933 ♪ 'Cause there's a million things to be ♪ 1253 01:30:39,059 --> 01:30:41,102 ♪ You know that there are ♪ 1254 01:30:42,938 --> 01:30:46,607 ♪ And if you want to live high, live high ♪ 1255 01:30:46,733 --> 01:30:50,444 ♪ And if you want to live low, live low ♪ 1256 01:30:50,570 --> 01:30:53,614 ♪ 'Cause there's a million ways to go ♪ 1257 01:30:53,782 --> 01:30:56,242 ♪ You know that there are ♪ 1258 01:30:58,829 --> 01:31:00,788 ♪ You can do what you want ♪ 1259 01:31:02,457 --> 01:31:04,792 ♪ The opportunity's on ♪ 1260 01:31:06,128 --> 01:31:08,254 ♪ And if you find a new way ♪ 1261 01:31:09,756 --> 01:31:12,216 ♪ You can do it today ♪ 1262 01:31:13,426 --> 01:31:15,803 ♪ You can make it all true ♪ 1263 01:31:17,097 --> 01:31:19,223 ♪ And you can make it undo ♪ 1264 01:31:19,349 --> 01:31:21,642 ♪ You see ♪ 1265 01:31:21,810 --> 01:31:25,271 ♪ Ah, ah, ah, it's easy ♪ 1266 01:31:25,397 --> 01:31:28,023 ♪ Ah, ah, ah, you only ♪ 1267 01:31:28,150 --> 01:31:30,317 ♪ Need to know ♪ 1268 01:31:32,654 --> 01:31:35,114 ♪ Well, if you want to say yes, say yes ♪ 1269 01:31:36,324 --> 01:31:39,410 ♪ And if you want to say no, say no ♪♪ 87371

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