All language subtitles for Friends.S08E07.1080p.5.1Ch.BluRay.ReEnc-DeeJayAhmed

Oh, my God, you cleaned!
Look at these floors!

You did the windows!

I have been begging for months
and you did, you cleaned!

- And nagging works!
- No, uh, I didn't actually do this.

Oh, no. Was I cleaning
in my sleep again?

No, it wasn't you.

- Well, then, who?
- I got a maid. Yay!

Oh, well, I hope by "maid,"
you mean "mistress"...

...because if some other woman
was cleaning...

Now, honey, I know you don't like
to relinquish control.

"Relinquish" is just
a fancy word for "lose."

Look, she's really nice, okay?

And she mentioned that she adored
the way that you arranged the sponges.

Did she really say that?

Yes, I distinctly remember
because I thought it was a joke.

- Now, just give her a chance, okay?
- Fine, I can do it.

Whoo.

- What's the matter?
- Usually when I'm anxious, I clean.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Whose cell phone is that?
It's just so annoying.

- Everywhere you go.
- I think it's coming from your bag.

I never get calls!

Hello?

Hi, it's Eric, from the Halloween
party. Ursula's fiancé.

Oh, my God, Eric, hi!
Wait, how'd you get this number?

I have a friend who's a cop,
and he got it.

Wow. What an incredible violation
and wonderful surprise!

I just... I thought you should know
I broke up with Ursula.

Oh, you did?
He did it, he did it!

- Wow, what did he do?
- Shh! I'm talking.

Anyway, I was wondering...

...if you were the sort of person
who eats lunch?

Are you asking me out?

Because it'd be weird since you
just broke up with my sister.

Yeah, um, okay.

I'm sorry. Bye.

No, wait! I was just saying that
so you'd think I was a good person.

Fight for me!

Uh, I won't take no for an answer.

Not great, we can work on it at lunch.

Okay, um, I can be at your apartment
in two hours.

Great. Uh, how do you know where I live?

I've got friends too.

- Okay, bye.
- Bye.

Oh, my God, I'm going out with Eric!

Oh, this day is gonna be much better
than I thought it was gonna be. Heh.

Oh, Ross, I can't make lunch.

So apparently I'm available
for lunch.

Can't, I'm busy. I'm apartment hunting.

You're moving?

I can't live with Joey
once the baby comes.

I don't want my child's first words
to be, "How you doing?"

So does Joey know you're moving?

I haven't discussed it,
but he's gonna be relieved.

Last week he brought this girl over...

...and I started talking to her
about morning sickness.

Then I showed her pictures
from my pregnancy book.

- That's not really porn.
- Not so much.

You know what?
If you're looking for a place...

...I heard in the elevator this morning
that a woman in my building died.

Oh, my God. Was she old?
Does she have a view?

Well I don't know.
But how great would that be, huh?

You living in my building?

I could take care of the baby,
I could come over whenever I want...

...with your permission.

- That really would be great.
- Yeah.

Well, can we see it?

Oh, maybe we shouldn't. If she
just died this morning. Out of respect.

Yeah. No. No, you're right.

- Shall we?
- Yeah.

- Yes?
- Hi. I'm Ross Geller.

I live in the building.

And I'm Rachel,
an admirer of the building.

I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing
away, and I am so sorry for your loss.

- She didn't pass away.
- What?

- My mother's still alive.
- Oh, thank God!

It looked like we were gonna lose her
this morning...

...but she's a tough old bird.
BOTH: Aww.

Are you close with her?

Of course. Heh.

Uh, yeah.
She and I would talk all the time...

...in the laundry room.

You speak Dutch?

[SPEAKING IN DUTCH]

You know, I would,
but it's just too painful.

So she's really not dead.

- No. She's hanging in there.
- Mm.

Do you think...? Could you tell me, is she
hanging in in a one-bedroom or a two?

Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible.
Where did you get it?

Oh, well, um, I make it myself.

It's two parts ammonia and one part
lemon juice. The secret ingredient is...

You know what? We just met.

Okay. Uh, I'm gonna get the clothes
from the laundry room now...

...and when I come back,
I'll clean behind the fridge.

I love her.

I'll be back in a minute.

Okay.

[DOOR CLOSES]

- See? I told you.
- She stole my jeans!

What?

I have been looking for them all week
and she is wearing them.

So she stole your pants...

...and then she came back
and wore them in front of you?

Don't you see? It's the perfect crime.

She must have been
planning this for years.

I will prove it to you.

About a week ago,
I was wearing those jeans.

I dropped a pen in my lap
and it left an ink stain on the crotch.

When she comes back,
I will find it and show you that stain!

Is it possible the company
that sold the jeans...

...made more than just the one pair?

I guess.

So shouldn't we give her
the benefit of the doubt before we go...

...snooping around her crotch?

Fine. I'm just glad I didn't give
her my secret ingredient.

Heh. Out of curiosity,
what is your secret ingredient?

Yeah. Ha-ha-ha.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

- Hi.
- Come in. I'm so glad you're here.

Yeah. Me too.

Not in the shaky,
angry way you are, though.

Sorry. I just saw Ursula.

- I had to get the engagement ring back.
- Ugh.

Just seeing her brought it all back.

All the lies, the way she used me.

I just... I get so angry,
just looking at her...

- Face.
- Yeah. Yeah.

I'm sorry. It's just, when I look at you...

...I see her.

And when I see her,
I get a little bit angry.

- Maybe this is too weird.
- No, wait.

There's only a problem...

...when I look at you.

I got it. I got it.

No, don't tear out your eyes!

- I was just gonna take out my lenses.
- Oh, yeah. Try that.

So is that better?

Not really.

You... Ugh. You're blurry.

But you still look like Ursula.
You're "Blursula."

Okay, wait. Maybe...

If I just don't look at you for a while.

See? It works.
I'm not angry at all anymore.

This is a great date!

Look, Eric, turn around.

Look, I like you, but it shouldn't
be this hard. It's our first date.

First dates are supposed to be
about excitement and electricity.

And "Ooh, he touched my hand,
did he mean touch my hand?"

And, you know, first kisses, and...

...second kisses.

Thanks for the coffee, or, uh, ahem:

[BOTH SPEAKING IN DUTCH]

Yeah, we're done.

[SPEAKING IN DUTCH]

"Ezel"? Ezel...

Hey, Ross. Listen.

You wanna go see
that new IMAX movie on tide pools?

- Really?
- No, ha, ha.

But I got Knicks tickets
for you, me, and Chandler.

- Sweet!
- All right, finish your coffee. Let's go.

I have to stop by my place.

To tape the game? You do this every
time. You're not gonna be on TV!

No, no, I have to see
if this apartment became available.

- You're switching apartments?
- Not for me, it's for Rachel.

- Rachel has an apartment.
- When the baby comes, she's gonna move.

- She is?
- Yeah.

You didn't expect her
to live there with a baby, did you?

I guess I didn't really think about it.

Ezel.

Hey, Gunther, you're an ezel. Huh.

[SPEAKING IN DUTCH]

Damn it.

- Nice jeans.
- Oh, thanks.

- I like your top.
- Oh. You're not getting it.

- What happened?
- Oh. I fell asleep.

I was thinking about taking
my lunch break.

Will you do the top of the cabinets?
That'll really work up your appetite.

All right.

[GRUNTS]

Hello.

What's going on?

I'm sorry. I've never had a maid
before. Is this not okay?

- Hey.
- Hey.

- How was the game?
- Uh, it was okay. I ate way too much.

- Mm.
- Ooh.

So, um, I was talking to Ross and he said
you were looking for a new place?

Oh, yeah. Hopefully across the street.
If certain Dutch people would just let go.

I was kind of hoping you'd stay.

But Joey, I have to go.
There's no room for a baby here.

No room? It's a baby.
It's, like, this big.

You could put it over here.

Or we could put it right here.
Aw! Cute, right?

Or over here.
You wouldn't even notice it.

"Where's the baby?"
"Oh, it's right over..."

[GIGGLES]

Honey, it's not just a matter
of where you put it.

A baby changes everything.
They cry all the time.

Imagine bringing home some girl...

...and trying to score
when there's a screaming baby.

I could use a challenge.
It's getting pretty easy.

It's so sweet that you want me
to stay, but I can't do that to you.

I mean, it would disrupt your entire life.

It's just...

I love living with you so much.

- I wish things didn't have to change.
- I know.

You know, I blame Ross for this.

- I do too, a little bit.
- Yeah.

I'm gonna miss you.

You're the hottest roommate
I ever had.

Mm. Ooh.

Oh, no, I have to go.
Ugh, I have a massage appointment.

No, stay here. We'll keep doing this.
I'll pay you.

No, I've gotten in trouble
for that before.

- I'll see you later?
- Absolutely.

I love the way you kiss.

Really? That's the thing I'm worst at!

Heh, you'll see.

- Hey.
- Hey! Um...

- I think Brenda needs a raise.
- How come?

Because I put my head
between her legs.

- To see her pants?
- They're my pants!

Are you sure? Did you see the stain?

No. I was getting into position,
and everything went dark.

God, she is not stealing from us, okay?
Will you let this go?

Fine.

- She's wearing my bra!
- Oh, dear God.

My pink flowered bra!
I recognize the strap!

And yet you don't recognize
that you're crazy?

Here's the plan, okay?

I'm going to leave,
and you're gonna look at Brenda's bra.

Here's another plan. No.

I would do it, but she thinks
I'm attracted to her.

- Why?
- Did you not hear where my head was?

Come on! We're a team.
We're in this together.

I fear a jury will see it the same way.

Do this for me. I catch you looking
at women's breasts all the time.

You see that?

Do you see this? Unh...

All right. Yes, okay. I get your point.

But if it's not her bra,
will you just let the woman clean?

Yes. Absolutely. Okay?

You'll know it's mine because on
the right cup, the lacy part...

...there's very a noticeable rip.

You need new clothes.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

- Hi. How is she?
- It's not looking good.

Oh? Oh. Aw.

Well, I, uh, brought her some bloemen.

[CHUCKLES]

That's so sweet.

Would you like to say goodbye?
I'm sure it would mean a lot to her.

Oh, I don't know that it would. Heh.

- Well, her memory is pretty much gone.
- All right, then.

- Hey!
- Welcome back.

- Should we pick up from where we left off?
- I don't know.

I'm still tired from this afternoon.

- Why?
- Uh, the sex.

- What sex?
- Our sex.

We didn't have sex.

Well if I didn't have sex with you...

...I had sex with somebody
that looked an awful lot like...

- Ew. Ew. Ew, ew!
ERIC: No, no, no, no!

- You had sex with Ursula?
- A little bit.

She walked in, I thought she was you
and I kissed her and...

You didn't notice different clothes?

- I was just so excited to see you.
- Aw.

Ew! Ew! Ew!

Ugh! You know what? This is too weird.

No. I don't wanna lose you.
It's like I was saying to Ursula...

...when I was making love to her
and thought she was you...

Yeah. It's too weird.

So I guess this is it.

Yeah.

Maybe it's for the best.

- You smell just like her.
- Yeah, so do you.

- What are you doing?
- I'm leaning.

This is where I lean.

Okay.

- Brenda, a bee!
- What?

Yes, it's flown into your blouse.

You better undo your buttons
lest it sting you.

- I think I know what's going on here.
- You do?

Look, I know it must be hard
that your wife is a lesbian...

...but it's wrong. You're married.

- I totally understand.
- Okay, good. Ha-ha-ha.

Could I just see your bra?

Hi.

- Where'd you get those jeans?
- You gave them to me.

- No, I didn't!
- All right, I took them.

I figured it was okay,
you've got an ink stain on the crotch.

- Oh, no! Did you take my bra too?
- What bra?

- The pink one with the flowers.
- You mean the one you're wearing?

I quit!

Sounds about right.

- What is this?
- Hey.

Uh, this is just to give you an idea.

We can put screens here
so the baby has privacy...

...and maybe a mobile,
you know, over the crib...

...and, uh, here's a baby monitor which,
until the baby comes...

...we can use as walkie-talkies. Eh?

You're so sweet!

Oh, my God!
And you gave the baby Hugsy!

[LAUGHS]

Uh...

That's really just to show
where the baby would go.

Why don't I hold on to him
so there's no confusion?

Joey, the baby is gonna be crying.
It's gonna be loud.

- I'm loud.
- It's gonna be up all night.

- I'm up all night.
- It's gonna poop.

Hello?

What about the women
you wanna bring home?

Look, if I'm bringing home a woman
who can't stand being around a baby...

...then maybe I don't wanna
be with that woman.

Or maybe we'll do it
in the bathroom of the club!

- Joey, are you sure?
- Yeah.

Look, I know sometimes
it'll be hard, okay...

...but it'll also be really,
really great.

Please, Rachel,
I really want you to stay.

- I want me to stay too. Thank you.
- Aw.

Joey, look at this crib! It's so cute!

I know. I found it on the street.

Are you...? Really?

- This is in such good condition.
- Yeah.

Wow. Whoa, what's under the cover?

- I don't know.
- It's moving.

- Ew.
- Still...

- Aah! It's got a tail! Get it out!
- Oh, aah! Okay!

[BOTH YELLING]

Well, the old lady died.
And how do I know?

Because her dying wish
was for one last kiss.

But I don't care because
you got the apartment. Yes!

Ew, yeah.

Um, I think I'm gonna stay here.

Isn't that great?

[STAMMERING]

Ezels!

[English - US - SDH]