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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,571 --> 00:00:18,648 2 00:00:18,649 --> 00:00:29,935 3 00:00:30,642 --> 00:00:31,836 Good evening. 4 00:00:31,861 --> 00:00:33,869 I'm Helen Mirren, and you're watching 5 00:00:33,894 --> 00:00:37,518 "Documentary Now!", Season 52. 6 00:00:37,543 --> 00:00:42,003 In 1970, Broadway legends Simon Sawyer and Howard Pine 7 00:00:42,004 --> 00:00:44,629 allowed filmmaker R.C. Baumgartner 8 00:00:44,654 --> 00:00:48,718 to document the cast recording of their brand-new musical. 9 00:00:48,743 --> 00:00:55,195 We give you the joy, the pain, and the music of "Co-Op". 10 00:00:56,430 --> 00:00:58,747 _ 11 00:00:58,772 --> 00:01:00,872 _ 12 00:01:00,891 --> 00:01:02,791 _ 13 00:01:02,827 --> 00:01:05,227 _ 14 00:01:05,247 --> 00:01:08,073 _ 15 00:01:08,097 --> 00:01:09,997 _ 16 00:01:10,044 --> 00:01:12,144 _ 17 00:01:12,177 --> 00:01:15,477 _ 18 00:01:21,678 --> 00:01:25,678 Season 3, Episode 3 Sync and corrections by FunnyFunk 19 00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:31,222 [Horn honks] 20 00:01:31,294 --> 00:01:43,139 [Band playing] 21 00:01:43,695 --> 00:01:45,441 Hey, Dave. 22 00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:55,933 Barbara, Alby and I accidentally grabbed each other's cases again. 23 00:01:55,934 --> 00:01:58,704 Look, I need my trumpet. 24 00:02:02,941 --> 00:02:05,472 - How many channels are we recording on? - Seven. 25 00:02:05,497 --> 00:02:07,473 So we're definitely gonna need more than that. 26 00:02:07,498 --> 00:02:10,045 Pbbbth. 27 00:02:10,070 --> 00:02:11,566 At the co-op 28 00:02:11,591 --> 00:02:13,584 It's beaux arts under scaffolding 29 00:02:13,585 --> 00:02:16,509 The co-op 30 00:02:16,526 --> 00:02:18,804 - Well, we had had such an enormous hit... - Huge. 31 00:02:18,844 --> 00:02:21,800 ...with "Has Anyone Ever Told You That You'd Look Better As A Brunette?", 32 00:02:21,825 --> 00:02:23,895 which at the time was the longest title ever on Broadway, 33 00:02:23,896 --> 00:02:25,483 though of course now everyone's copied it. 34 00:02:25,508 --> 00:02:28,514 So what next? And then it hit us. 35 00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:31,702 We were walking along 82nd and Third Avenue, which... 36 00:02:31,703 --> 00:02:34,893 God and everyone else on Earth knows how beautiful that block is... 37 00:02:34,918 --> 00:02:39,241 large, white, practical apartment buildings, and one of us said... 38 00:02:39,266 --> 00:02:40,661 You said it. I did not say it. 39 00:02:40,686 --> 00:02:45,861 "There must be 200 units of apartments in that co-op, 40 00:02:45,886 --> 00:02:48,119 and that is 200 different stories," 41 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:50,221 and we both thought there's a show in that. 42 00:02:50,222 --> 00:02:53,858 I actually said, "That's not a good idea for a show". 43 00:02:53,859 --> 00:02:55,695 Alright, this is it, people. 44 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:56,925 Settle. 45 00:02:56,950 --> 00:02:59,139 "Co-Op"... take one. 46 00:02:59,164 --> 00:03:04,456 47 00:03:04,481 --> 00:03:06,370 At the co-op 48 00:03:06,371 --> 00:03:08,226 It's Beaux-Arts under scaffolding 49 00:03:08,251 --> 00:03:09,527 Co-op 50 00:03:09,552 --> 00:03:11,274 The staff can't do anything 51 00:03:11,299 --> 00:03:12,810 Co-op 52 00:03:12,811 --> 00:03:16,178 But they might still strike this spring 53 00:03:16,203 --> 00:03:19,283 That's the gossip at the mail drop 54 00:03:19,284 --> 00:03:21,830 Here in our co-op 55 00:03:21,855 --> 00:03:23,220 Whose package is this?! 56 00:03:23,221 --> 00:03:26,911 Something from Overnight Insulin Emergency Providers? 57 00:03:26,936 --> 00:03:28,776 Going once, twice? 58 00:03:28,801 --> 00:03:31,157 Nope? Okay, garbage time. 59 00:03:31,182 --> 00:03:32,403 Bye, bye, box! 60 00:03:32,428 --> 00:03:33,498 Co-op 61 00:03:33,523 --> 00:03:35,443 Why's the water shut off today? 62 00:03:35,468 --> 00:03:36,903 Co-op 63 00:03:36,935 --> 00:03:38,469 The super just walked away 64 00:03:38,470 --> 00:03:39,837 Co-op 65 00:03:39,838 --> 00:03:44,528 I'd rather squat in a loft than stay in this 66 00:03:44,559 --> 00:03:46,777 One-stop flop 67 00:03:46,778 --> 00:03:49,174 Called a co-op 68 00:03:50,582 --> 00:03:53,458 22 floors and a roof deck that's off-limits 69 00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:56,639 A 160 units managed by a staff of dimwits 70 00:03:56,664 --> 00:03:59,056 We pay a king's ransom for a one-bedroom tomb 71 00:03:59,057 --> 00:04:01,743 But you can sort of see the Chrysler from the window 72 00:04:01,768 --> 00:04:04,108 In your room 73 00:04:04,133 --> 00:04:05,386 The window in your room 74 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:07,932 And you don't own any land, just a box in the sky 75 00:04:07,933 --> 00:04:09,834 - Yeah, yeah, yeah - The neighbor's cooking kasha 76 00:04:09,835 --> 00:04:11,755 - Yeah, yeah, yeah - And your other neighbor died 77 00:04:11,787 --> 00:04:14,405 Moving here felt lucky, but that time is forgot 78 00:04:14,406 --> 00:04:17,127 But you'll never give up your spot 79 00:04:17,152 --> 00:04:19,705 At the co-op 80 00:04:19,730 --> 00:04:23,914 Our blessed co-op 81 00:04:24,285 --> 00:04:27,518 Wow. Well, that was a hell of a good first take. 82 00:04:27,519 --> 00:04:29,553 Let's move on. Okay. 83 00:04:29,554 --> 00:04:31,956 Please let everybody know it's closed. 84 00:04:31,957 --> 00:04:33,925 - You want me to do that? - Please. 85 00:04:35,127 --> 00:04:37,661 Uh, okay. Uh, before we move on, 86 00:04:37,662 --> 00:04:40,422 uh, Howard and Simon have a note. 87 00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:41,970 Oh, you can... 88 00:04:41,995 --> 00:04:44,668 Or, um... 89 00:04:44,693 --> 00:04:46,871 a factoid, I guess. 90 00:04:46,872 --> 00:04:52,310 This show, "CO-OP: The Musical", has been closed. 91 00:04:53,891 --> 00:04:56,847 And I can tell by the look on all of your faces 92 00:04:56,848 --> 00:04:59,450 that you didn't read the reviews that came out today, 93 00:04:59,451 --> 00:05:04,855 and therefore were not able to, uh, anticipate this news, 94 00:05:04,856 --> 00:05:06,590 but... but it... it is closed. 95 00:05:06,591 --> 00:05:08,392 It's... it's, uh, it's over. 96 00:05:08,393 --> 00:05:11,830 It's... it's not... it's... it's all done. 97 00:05:12,197 --> 00:05:18,069 [All whispering] 98 00:05:18,070 --> 00:05:20,496 Okay, we're back from the break. 99 00:05:20,535 --> 00:05:22,590 I said "take 20", it's now half past, 100 00:05:22,615 --> 00:05:26,876 so Larry, I want to go right into your number. 101 00:05:26,901 --> 00:05:28,329 Larry? Put the coffee down. 102 00:05:28,354 --> 00:05:31,082 Let's focus! 103 00:05:31,083 --> 00:05:33,092 Alright. Come on. Come on! 104 00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,147 Let's do this thing. 105 00:05:34,172 --> 00:05:37,354 Orchestra? Always accelerando, okay? 106 00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:38,956 But never beyond allegro. 107 00:05:38,957 --> 00:05:41,225 That's no comment on all of you, obviously. 108 00:05:41,226 --> 00:05:43,627 Hey, I speak Italian, capiche? 109 00:05:43,628 --> 00:05:44,895 Oh, you read the Times. 110 00:05:44,896 --> 00:05:47,865 So you think I can't sing fast, huh? [Bleep] critics. 111 00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:50,018 This is why I don't read this shit because... 112 00:05:50,043 --> 00:05:51,569 because it's beneath my vision. 113 00:05:51,570 --> 00:05:53,537 L-Like this one, like this one. 114 00:05:53,538 --> 00:05:55,715 "In his show-stopping solo 'Christmas Tips', 115 00:05:55,740 --> 00:05:58,387 Mr. Lonson provided the night's only dramatic moment... 116 00:05:58,412 --> 00:06:00,894 that is, with this actor so clearly out of breath 117 00:06:00,919 --> 00:06:03,948 by the first stanza be able to finish the fast-paced song 118 00:06:03,949 --> 00:06:06,524 or would he suffer cardiac arrest on-stage?" 119 00:06:06,549 --> 00:06:09,353 Okay? Allegro? Presto. Fasto. 120 00:06:09,354 --> 00:06:10,630 Huh? Huh? 121 00:06:10,655 --> 00:06:13,036 I'll... I'll show you breath control. 122 00:06:13,061 --> 00:06:16,130 Benedict: "Christmas Tips". Orchestra! 123 00:06:16,155 --> 00:06:17,870 Man and Woman: Hello Robbie. 124 00:06:17,902 --> 00:06:19,130 Hello. 125 00:06:19,131 --> 00:06:22,250 Welcome home Mister and Mrs, what is this? 126 00:06:22,275 --> 00:06:25,764 I'll tell you, this is just a package I've been holding 127 00:06:25,789 --> 00:06:27,685 It's addressed to Mrs. Goldstein 128 00:06:27,710 --> 00:06:29,507 What a co-op, what a lobby 129 00:06:29,508 --> 00:06:31,391 Every slob is acting snobby 130 00:06:31,416 --> 00:06:33,264 But you take a tip from Robbie 131 00:06:33,289 --> 00:06:38,406 You should tip your doorman 132 00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:40,019 The holidays are merry 133 00:06:40,044 --> 00:06:41,820 All the secrets that I carry 134 00:06:41,845 --> 00:06:43,573 One slip of the lip is scary 135 00:06:43,598 --> 00:06:46,398 'Cause tomorrow you're not married 136 00:06:46,423 --> 00:06:47,758 I open the door 137 00:06:47,759 --> 00:06:48,859 Give kids high fives 138 00:06:48,860 --> 00:06:49,955 One, two, three 139 00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:51,288 I open the door 140 00:06:51,313 --> 00:06:53,038 And I watch your lives 141 00:06:53,063 --> 00:06:54,814 And the things you do 142 00:06:54,839 --> 00:06:56,568 So you better tip me 143 00:06:56,593 --> 00:06:58,822 'Cause I watch your lives 144 00:06:58,847 --> 00:07:00,885 Mr. Adams, Mrs. Eve 145 00:07:00,910 --> 00:07:03,108 This is your gift I do believe? 146 00:07:03,140 --> 00:07:05,297 A tree planted in Tel Aviv? 147 00:07:05,322 --> 00:07:07,311 For your marriage, I now grieve 148 00:07:07,312 --> 00:07:09,113 You see only him, and me know 149 00:07:09,114 --> 00:07:11,182 Back when you were getting chemo 150 00:07:11,183 --> 00:07:12,850 That nurse who was Filipino 151 00:07:12,851 --> 00:07:14,685 Got knocked up with a bambino 152 00:07:14,686 --> 00:07:16,386 And he sent them off to Reno 153 00:07:16,411 --> 00:07:17,890 You should have tipped me better 154 00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:19,835 At least $100 and a sweater 155 00:07:19,860 --> 00:07:21,517 Make it cashmere, there's a letter 156 00:07:21,542 --> 00:07:22,793 From the nurse that would upset her 157 00:07:22,794 --> 00:07:24,812 - And breath. - Full breath. 158 00:07:24,837 --> 00:07:26,265 I open the door 159 00:07:26,304 --> 00:07:28,200 Give kids high-fives One, two, three 160 00:07:28,201 --> 00:07:29,407 I open the door 161 00:07:29,439 --> 00:07:31,065 And I watch your lives 162 00:07:31,090 --> 00:07:33,350 Your private lives 163 00:07:33,375 --> 00:07:41,545 Co-op, cooperate with me-eeee 164 00:07:41,546 --> 00:07:44,322 [Panting] 165 00:07:44,347 --> 00:07:47,218 Alright?! 166 00:07:47,219 --> 00:07:49,854 That's how you do allegro. 167 00:07:51,285 --> 00:07:53,872 It's a New York soap opera 168 00:07:53,911 --> 00:07:55,497 One I've seen before 169 00:07:55,522 --> 00:07:58,017 It's a New York soap opera 170 00:07:58,042 --> 00:07:59,534 Open, close the door 171 00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:00,739 Hi, Judy. Hi, Dee Dee. 172 00:08:00,764 --> 00:08:02,112 Uh, you've been doing something wrong 173 00:08:02,137 --> 00:08:03,582 for about three weeks, and it's been annoying me. 174 00:08:03,607 --> 00:08:05,406 I want to talk to you about it right now. 175 00:08:05,431 --> 00:08:07,106 - Uh, let's see here. - Okay? 176 00:08:07,131 --> 00:08:08,740 Uh, bah, bah, bah, bah. 177 00:08:08,765 --> 00:08:11,018 "It's a New York soap opera, 178 00:08:11,043 --> 00:08:13,153 and for love stay tuned". 179 00:08:13,178 --> 00:08:17,233 It's a New York soap opera, and for love stay tuned 180 00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:21,065 It's a New York soap opera, and my heart is ruined 181 00:08:21,099 --> 00:08:23,319 No. "Rooned". 182 00:08:23,344 --> 00:08:24,987 And my heart is... what? 183 00:08:25,019 --> 00:08:26,451 "Rooned". The word is "Rooned". 184 00:08:26,476 --> 00:08:27,769 - "Ruined". - "Rooned". 185 00:08:27,794 --> 00:08:29,380 - I'm... - R-U-I-N-E-D. 186 00:08:29,405 --> 00:08:30,995 There's only one way to say it. "Rooned". 187 00:08:31,020 --> 00:08:32,154 Ru-in-ed. 188 00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:34,169 Okay, supposing I asked you, in the past tense, 189 00:08:34,194 --> 00:08:35,975 how did you kill a whale? 190 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,112 - Is this a riddle? - No. 191 00:08:37,137 --> 00:08:38,693 It's a simple question. How do you kill a whale? 192 00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:40,041 I'm really intimidated by you right now. 193 00:08:40,066 --> 00:08:41,796 You harpoon it, right? 194 00:08:41,828 --> 00:08:44,177 Now say that in the past tense. 195 00:08:44,209 --> 00:08:45,344 - "Harpoon-ed". - Right. 196 00:08:45,369 --> 00:08:48,181 Now take off the "H" and the "A" and "R". 197 00:08:48,206 --> 00:08:51,241 - "Pooned". - Now switch that "P" with an "R". 198 00:08:51,266 --> 00:08:52,703 - "Rooned". - Yeah. 199 00:08:52,735 --> 00:08:54,257 You've got it now. It's a New York... 200 00:08:54,282 --> 00:08:56,700 Soap opera and for love stay tuned 201 00:08:56,725 --> 00:09:01,538 It's a New York soap opera, and my love is... is rooned 202 00:09:01,563 --> 00:09:04,602 Perfect. Now she's gonna say "harpooned" on this take, but that's not my fault. 203 00:09:04,627 --> 00:09:06,709 Okay. This was a good exercise. Hi, Judy. 204 00:09:06,734 --> 00:09:08,402 Hi. 205 00:09:09,861 --> 00:09:12,931 Hope to see you at our holiday party tonight, Joe. 206 00:09:12,956 --> 00:09:14,663 Holiday party? 207 00:09:14,694 --> 00:09:16,045 God, no. 208 00:09:16,070 --> 00:09:18,258 209 00:09:18,283 --> 00:09:22,409 Hark the herald angels sing 210 00:09:22,434 --> 00:09:26,514 Glory to the newborn king 211 00:09:26,539 --> 00:09:30,665 Peace on Earth and mercy mild 212 00:09:30,690 --> 00:09:35,755 God and sinners reconciled 213 00:09:35,756 --> 00:09:39,999 [Music tempo increases] 214 00:09:40,024 --> 00:09:42,110 If I'm being honest, it was all very harrowing 215 00:09:42,135 --> 00:09:44,095 When the invite came for an evening of caroling 216 00:09:44,127 --> 00:09:46,026 I don't like singing, I'm not much for conversation 217 00:09:46,051 --> 00:09:48,169 And the combo of the two gave me such hesitation 218 00:09:48,194 --> 00:09:50,233 I took a little something just to dull all the edges 219 00:09:50,258 --> 00:09:52,328 Either that or I was certain to be jumping off the ledges 220 00:09:52,353 --> 00:09:54,391 I'm really quite sorry, but I'm going to admit it 221 00:09:54,416 --> 00:09:56,463 I'm really so sorry, if I could I would quit it 222 00:09:56,488 --> 00:10:00,883 But the fact of the matter is I did a little cocaine tonight 223 00:10:00,908 --> 00:10:05,047 God rest ye merry gentlemen 224 00:10:05,079 --> 00:10:09,141 Let nothing you dismay 225 00:10:09,166 --> 00:10:17,910 Remember Christ our savior was born on Christmas Day 226 00:10:17,942 --> 00:10:19,917 I'm trying to relax but instead I keep finding 227 00:10:19,942 --> 00:10:20,988 That I'm sweating from my brow 228 00:10:21,013 --> 00:10:22,035 And my teeth won't stop grinding 229 00:10:22,036 --> 00:10:24,015 And my mouth is as dry as the sand of the Sahara-y 230 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,276 So I miscalculated and I chugged down a sherry 231 00:10:26,301 --> 00:10:28,248 The whole room is spinning and I want to take a knee 232 00:10:28,273 --> 00:10:30,359 But instead I'll sneak a bump as I hide behind the tree 233 00:10:30,384 --> 00:10:32,438 I'm really very sorry that I can't stop talking 234 00:10:32,463 --> 00:10:34,526 I'm so very sorry for my chirping and my squawking 235 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:38,361 But the fact of the matter is I did a little cocaine tonight 236 00:10:38,386 --> 00:10:40,409 Oh, man, here comes Ann 237 00:10:40,434 --> 00:10:42,385 She's the athlete from 12G 238 00:10:42,410 --> 00:10:44,488 She's the knees of the bees 239 00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:46,647 Always making eyes at me 240 00:10:46,672 --> 00:10:48,795 It would seem such a dream 241 00:10:48,820 --> 00:10:50,851 If I asked her for a dance 242 00:10:50,876 --> 00:10:56,121 But I just blew a rail and I'm gonna shit my pants 243 00:10:56,146 --> 00:10:58,533 - Hey, Ann, I'm Joe but of course you know - Hey there, Joe, yes, Joe, I know 244 00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:00,494 - I don't know why I'm telling you so - I was just about to go 245 00:11:00,519 --> 00:11:02,716 - I just got here and grabbed a beer - I'm partied out without a doubt 246 00:11:02,741 --> 00:11:04,882 - Are people singing or is it clear - When it comes to singing I can do without 247 00:11:04,907 --> 00:11:06,969 - You look stunning, is your nose running - Truth be told I have a cold 248 00:11:06,994 --> 00:11:09,025 - I can get a tissue if it's an issue - Oh, hell, I'm lying there's no denying 249 00:11:09,050 --> 00:11:10,900 If I come clean don't start a scene 250 00:11:10,925 --> 00:11:12,948 But in this moonlight, you're such a sight 251 00:11:12,973 --> 00:11:15,102 That it just feels right to admit I did 252 00:11:15,127 --> 00:11:22,821 A little bit of cocaine toniiiiiight! 253 00:11:22,853 --> 00:11:25,424 - Do you have more? - I can get some. 254 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:31,315 This will be take one of "My Home Court". 255 00:11:31,347 --> 00:11:32,949 And we're gonna get the dialogue 256 00:11:32,974 --> 00:11:34,449 before the orchestra comes in, please? 257 00:11:34,474 --> 00:11:36,493 Yes, right. So in this part of the show, Dee Dee's character 258 00:11:36,518 --> 00:11:38,524 is trying to get an apartment in the building. 259 00:11:38,549 --> 00:11:39,985 Right, so she's before the co-op board, 260 00:11:40,010 --> 00:11:42,088 but to her, she's just one of the tenant's tennis coaches. 261 00:11:42,113 --> 00:11:44,143 - Hmm. - So it's a... it's a wish song. 262 00:11:44,168 --> 00:11:45,574 It's also a co-op board meeting. 263 00:11:45,599 --> 00:11:47,281 It's a fantasy fulfillment song like. 264 00:11:47,306 --> 00:11:49,296 "My Boy Bill" in "Carousel", which is a flawed show, 265 00:11:49,321 --> 00:11:51,058 but it's still an "I want that" number. 266 00:11:51,083 --> 00:11:54,439 Yes. It's also an "application for an apartment" number. 267 00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:56,154 It's a "bureaucratic apartment 268 00:11:56,179 --> 00:11:58,680 co-op board fantasy fulfillment" song. 269 00:11:58,705 --> 00:12:00,037 Okay, let's roll! 270 00:12:00,062 --> 00:12:03,426 Dee Dee, darling, when you're ready. 271 00:12:03,451 --> 00:12:05,204 Norman: Thanks for the lesson today, Ann. 272 00:12:05,229 --> 00:12:07,069 Be sure to ice that tennis elbow. 273 00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:10,693 Say, do you know where the co-op board meets? 274 00:12:10,718 --> 00:12:13,598 In the multi-purpose room. Why? Are you lost? 275 00:12:13,623 --> 00:12:16,003 No. I have a meeting... 276 00:12:16,028 --> 00:12:21,146 to be approved! 277 00:12:21,171 --> 00:12:25,671 I'm a pro down at the bubble 278 00:12:25,711 --> 00:12:30,315 I teach tennis for my pay 279 00:12:30,340 --> 00:12:32,537 I don't mean your board much trouble 280 00:12:32,562 --> 00:12:34,941 But may I join this game of doubles? 281 00:12:34,966 --> 00:12:38,903 Can I play if I can pay? 282 00:12:39,530 --> 00:12:44,109 You'll have questions with some top spin 283 00:12:44,134 --> 00:12:48,449 And my answers may be lobs 284 00:12:48,474 --> 00:12:51,036 But if you serve then I will volley 285 00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:53,251 And we'll rally tilt its folly 286 00:12:53,276 --> 00:12:58,026 And I'll earn 8K's key fob 287 00:12:58,057 --> 00:13:02,478 The world out there is made of only grass and clay 288 00:13:02,510 --> 00:13:09,309 Gimme concrete, be a sport I can conquer on that court 289 00:13:09,334 --> 00:13:12,921 That apartment my home court 290 00:13:12,953 --> 00:13:16,501 291 00:13:16,532 --> 00:13:19,476 I can picture that studio fitted out 292 00:13:19,501 --> 00:13:20,889 With my style 293 00:13:20,929 --> 00:13:23,063 A brown and beige kinda mood, you know 294 00:13:23,088 --> 00:13:25,388 And metro-hex Green tile 295 00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:29,951 A framed Navratilova hangin' just above the sofa 296 00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:32,278 And the brown and the beige and the brown and the beige 297 00:13:32,317 --> 00:13:34,800 And the brown 298 00:13:34,825 --> 00:13:39,211 There's a nude by Avedon just above the toilet 299 00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:42,424 A naked guy with pubic hair and he's sort of... 300 00:13:42,449 --> 00:13:43,805 I won't spoil it 301 00:13:43,830 --> 00:13:45,606 The right erotic art 302 00:13:45,631 --> 00:13:48,280 Says I'm sexual but smart 303 00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:50,582 And the brown and the beige and the brown and the beige 304 00:13:50,607 --> 00:13:52,859 And the brown 305 00:13:52,884 --> 00:13:55,502 I'm gonna make a life up there 306 00:13:55,527 --> 00:13:57,238 And the brown and the beige and the brown and the beige 307 00:13:57,263 --> 00:13:59,954 With floor to ceiling teak 308 00:13:59,979 --> 00:14:02,016 And the brown and the beige and the brown and the beige 309 00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:04,374 It's a palace of 500-square 310 00:14:04,406 --> 00:14:06,612 But it's Polynesian chic 311 00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,580 Don't think it's an insane wish 312 00:14:08,605 --> 00:14:11,200 That my chairs be winged and Danish 313 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:13,533 And the brown and the beige and the brown and the beige 314 00:14:13,558 --> 00:14:15,775 And the brown 315 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,069 I'm laying my dreams on you 316 00:14:18,094 --> 00:14:21,536 I already bought a fondue 317 00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,861 And the brown and the beige and the brown and the beige 318 00:14:23,886 --> 00:14:26,623 And the beige and the brown 319 00:14:26,648 --> 00:14:32,072 With the brown and the beige and the brown and the beige 320 00:14:32,097 --> 00:14:38,824 And the Brown! 321 00:14:38,825 --> 00:14:44,331 Brown! 322 00:14:48,852 --> 00:14:50,050 What a night, huh? 323 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,510 It's you guys I feel sorry for. 324 00:14:51,535 --> 00:14:54,621 I mean, you know, you got to sit here and memorize these songs, these notes. 325 00:14:54,646 --> 00:14:56,383 Jesus, look at all that. 326 00:14:56,408 --> 00:14:59,304 You know, but I think we got it. 327 00:14:59,329 --> 00:15:01,018 How am I? I'm good. 328 00:15:01,043 --> 00:15:02,943 You know, I mean these things... they come and go, 329 00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:06,434 but you guys... you're the artists. 330 00:15:06,459 --> 00:15:08,132 I can pull the wool over the audience's eyes, 331 00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,688 but you're there every night. It's your... 332 00:15:09,713 --> 00:15:11,497 your opinion that I trust. 333 00:15:11,522 --> 00:15:13,918 Am I bad at singing and acting? 334 00:15:13,943 --> 00:15:17,437 Benedict: This is "I Gotta Go", take one. 335 00:15:18,516 --> 00:15:23,794 Look at me, Cinderella 336 00:15:23,819 --> 00:15:26,312 Stroke of midnight 337 00:15:26,337 --> 00:15:28,677 Footmen? Gone. 338 00:15:28,702 --> 00:15:31,510 My glass slippers? 339 00:15:31,535 --> 00:15:34,199 Now they're Merrells 340 00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:35,786 And Prince Charming? 341 00:15:35,811 --> 00:15:40,746 He's just Ron 342 00:15:40,771 --> 00:15:42,591 Spell is broken 343 00:15:42,616 --> 00:15:45,765 Unenchanted 344 00:15:45,790 --> 00:15:48,114 Sheets are soiled 345 00:15:48,139 --> 00:15:51,959 Linens she picked up at Bloomies 346 00:15:51,984 --> 00:15:55,014 For a marriage that I spoiled 347 00:15:55,039 --> 00:15:59,094 I got to go, I got to go 348 00:15:59,119 --> 00:16:00,380 God damn it. 349 00:16:00,405 --> 00:16:02,587 Benedict: Okay, okay, hold a moment. 350 00:16:02,619 --> 00:16:05,785 - I got to go! - I said "hold a moment", please. 351 00:16:05,810 --> 00:16:07,674 Patty: Benedict, I've been here for 12 hours. 352 00:16:07,699 --> 00:16:08,896 Let me just remind you. 353 00:16:08,921 --> 00:16:10,769 I was supposed to sing at the beginning. 354 00:16:10,794 --> 00:16:13,545 I was denied that opportunity again and again. 355 00:16:13,570 --> 00:16:16,006 Now I have to go, so let's just do this, 356 00:16:16,031 --> 00:16:17,664 and I'll try to do my best. 357 00:16:17,689 --> 00:16:19,482 It... it... the whole thing is flaccid. 358 00:16:19,507 --> 00:16:21,125 It's like a buoyancy, you know? 359 00:16:21,150 --> 00:16:23,772 I agree. [Sighs] 360 00:16:23,797 --> 00:16:27,177 Uh, Patty, once more from the top, please. 361 00:16:27,202 --> 00:16:31,522 I got to go, I got to go 362 00:16:31,547 --> 00:16:32,752 God damn it. 363 00:16:32,777 --> 00:16:35,228 I got to hail a pumpkin coach 364 00:16:35,253 --> 00:16:36,371 Aah! 365 00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:38,752 "I Got to Go", take 11. 366 00:16:38,777 --> 00:16:40,707 Patty: Benedict, just so we're clear, 367 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,875 earlier, many times, I mentioned 368 00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:45,685 I had an eye-doctor appointment to get my eye scraped. 369 00:16:45,724 --> 00:16:47,796 I have already taken the medication, 370 00:16:47,821 --> 00:16:49,692 and it's ripping through my system, 371 00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:51,649 so we need to be brisk with this. 372 00:16:51,674 --> 00:16:53,181 Let's just do it. 373 00:16:53,206 --> 00:16:56,923 And I got to go 374 00:16:56,924 --> 00:16:59,483 I should do better or different than this 375 00:16:59,508 --> 00:17:00,635 No [bleep] kidding. 376 00:17:00,660 --> 00:17:03,683 "I Got to Go", take 15. 377 00:17:03,708 --> 00:17:06,238 "I Got to Go", take 20. 378 00:17:06,263 --> 00:17:08,191 I've got to go 379 00:17:08,216 --> 00:17:10,170 Aah! 380 00:17:10,171 --> 00:17:13,102 I got to hail a pumpkin coach 381 00:17:13,127 --> 00:17:15,983 - [Bleep] sake. - Take 22. 382 00:17:16,008 --> 00:17:18,778 I want to go 383 00:17:18,779 --> 00:17:21,502 I want to go to the eye doctor now 384 00:17:21,527 --> 00:17:24,812 As previously stated, you pompous beta males 385 00:17:24,837 --> 00:17:28,088 "I Got to Go", take 27. 386 00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:29,899 You know what? I'm just gonna go. 387 00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:31,776 I hope you all have terrible lives. 388 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:34,634 Thank you. Wonderful job, orchestra. 389 00:17:34,659 --> 00:17:37,070 And I worry we pushed her too far. 390 00:17:37,095 --> 00:17:38,959 Actors have a point where over-noting 391 00:17:38,984 --> 00:17:40,491 can almost hurt the performance. 392 00:17:40,516 --> 00:17:42,870 Listen, she'll be back, and she'll be great. 393 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,464 If there's two things I know, it's women 394 00:17:45,489 --> 00:17:48,900 and exactly what's going to happen in the future. 395 00:17:49,810 --> 00:17:58,986 [Instruments tuning] 396 00:18:03,026 --> 00:18:06,479 So I got to go 397 00:18:06,504 --> 00:18:08,971 If I don't go, I'm gone 398 00:18:08,996 --> 00:18:11,383 My life's past midnight 399 00:18:11,408 --> 00:18:13,886 I got to go 400 00:18:13,911 --> 00:18:16,386 Where there's breakfasts and crosswords 401 00:18:16,411 --> 00:18:22,243 And "see ya tomorrow"s after the night 402 00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:29,369 I got to go, I got to, I got to go 403 00:18:29,394 --> 00:18:31,536 The world is a question 404 00:18:31,561 --> 00:18:34,333 This room is an answer 405 00:18:34,358 --> 00:18:37,381 And the answer is no 406 00:18:37,406 --> 00:18:44,951 I got to go, I got to be free 407 00:18:44,976 --> 00:18:47,117 Me! 408 00:18:47,142 --> 00:18:56,644 Donna Bloom! 409 00:18:59,651 --> 00:19:01,564 Oh! 410 00:19:01,604 --> 00:19:02,985 Simon: Patty, honey, it's Simon. 411 00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:05,795 You took that right off the page, and you made it soar. 412 00:19:05,820 --> 00:19:08,112 Patty, Patty, come in here. We want you to listen to this. 413 00:19:08,137 --> 00:19:11,041 C-Come listen inside. 414 00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:12,993 Oh, the poor girl, she's blind as a bat. 415 00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:16,130 [Instruments clattering] 416 00:19:16,955 --> 00:19:21,495 Alright. The moment we've all been waiting for. 417 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:22,931 The last song. 418 00:19:22,956 --> 00:19:25,129 This is the last song of "Coop". 419 00:19:25,154 --> 00:19:26,280 - "Co-Op". - "Co-Op"! 420 00:19:26,305 --> 00:19:27,669 - "Co-Op". - "Co-Op". Excuse me. 421 00:19:27,694 --> 00:19:30,661 It has been a long 24-hour recording session, 422 00:19:30,686 --> 00:19:33,082 and you all got terrible reviews, 423 00:19:33,107 --> 00:19:36,876 and the show is closed, but you know what? 424 00:19:36,901 --> 00:19:40,376 Let it go. That's my gift to you. 425 00:19:40,401 --> 00:19:41,542 Simon: And we need to clear the space. 426 00:19:41,567 --> 00:19:44,860 That's right. Poco's coming in to record an album, so we got to move fast. 427 00:19:44,885 --> 00:19:46,512 Simon, was there anything you wanted to say? 428 00:19:46,537 --> 00:19:47,940 When you lean into a rhyme, 429 00:19:47,965 --> 00:19:50,153 you shatter the conversational tone of the lyric. 430 00:19:50,178 --> 00:19:52,423 It's like nails on a blackboard to me, and I love you all. 431 00:19:52,455 --> 00:19:54,566 Beautiful. Alright. Let's roll tape. 432 00:19:54,591 --> 00:19:56,292 Five, six, seven, eight... 433 00:19:56,317 --> 00:19:59,038 Excuse me! Wait! Damn it, kid! 434 00:19:59,063 --> 00:20:00,839 You pushed my buttons. 435 00:20:00,864 --> 00:20:04,710 You literally pushed every elevator button. 436 00:20:06,298 --> 00:20:10,663 Awful lot of spunk, what a little punk 437 00:20:10,688 --> 00:20:13,799 Hits every goddamn floor, runs out the door 438 00:20:13,824 --> 00:20:15,870 I knew that that kid stunk 439 00:20:15,895 --> 00:20:17,640 From one look at birth 440 00:20:17,665 --> 00:20:20,743 I knew this day would come 441 00:20:20,768 --> 00:20:24,031 Now he's a hoodlum 442 00:20:27,822 --> 00:20:29,275 Going down? 443 00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:31,123 We are going up 444 00:20:31,148 --> 00:20:32,148 Are you certain? 445 00:20:32,173 --> 00:20:33,649 Yep 446 00:20:33,674 --> 00:20:36,030 Adam Klein, that prick pulled a little trick 447 00:20:36,055 --> 00:20:38,244 Ugh, when will he grow up? 448 00:20:38,269 --> 00:20:41,080 Kids like that don't grow up, no 449 00:20:41,105 --> 00:20:43,707 They shoot up and die! 450 00:20:43,732 --> 00:20:46,607 Man, you're an angry guy 451 00:20:46,632 --> 00:20:48,298 I know 452 00:20:48,323 --> 00:20:52,591 All I ever wanted was to not be a doorman 453 00:20:52,616 --> 00:20:54,875 Maybe play for the Yankees 454 00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:57,153 Or be wealthy in general 455 00:20:57,178 --> 00:20:58,748 But we don't get what we want 456 00:20:58,773 --> 00:21:02,869 So we must love what we get 457 00:21:02,870 --> 00:21:05,755 Would you like to go out socially? 458 00:21:05,780 --> 00:21:08,908 Uh, down? 459 00:21:08,909 --> 00:21:10,795 No, we're going up 460 00:21:10,820 --> 00:21:13,239 Some [bleep] kid pushed every floor 461 00:21:13,264 --> 00:21:18,050 But come and ride because it's merrier with more 462 00:21:18,075 --> 00:21:20,042 Yes, we're going up 463 00:21:20,067 --> 00:21:22,655 Up to the penthouse in the sky 464 00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:27,248 All 'cause little Adam Klein's a shitty guy 465 00:21:27,273 --> 00:21:31,098 Yes, we're going up 466 00:21:33,499 --> 00:21:35,499 Moving? 467 00:21:35,524 --> 00:21:37,864 Moving so to speak 468 00:21:37,889 --> 00:21:40,180 Not to be oblique 469 00:21:40,205 --> 00:21:43,664 But the truth is I live somewhere else 470 00:21:43,689 --> 00:21:44,791 It's unique 471 00:21:44,816 --> 00:21:50,545 Til today I was lately a home-wrecking sneak 472 00:21:50,570 --> 00:21:54,548 It was pretty bleak 473 00:21:54,573 --> 00:21:57,024 Going down? 474 00:21:57,049 --> 00:21:58,841 Ha! Here's the bastard now. 475 00:21:58,866 --> 00:22:00,834 - Jesus Christ! - Have you any shame? 476 00:22:00,859 --> 00:22:03,160 - Oh, my God. - This the guy that cheats? 477 00:22:03,185 --> 00:22:04,263 And I've the receipts 478 00:22:04,288 --> 00:22:06,533 And his tipping is lame 479 00:22:06,558 --> 00:22:12,351 Does the whole co-op suddenly know my affairs? 480 00:22:12,376 --> 00:22:13,955 Care to take the stairs? 481 00:22:13,980 --> 00:22:15,352 Ha, the stairs. 482 00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:16,884 Yeah, right, I hate the stairs. 483 00:22:16,909 --> 00:22:19,558 I mean, going down them isn't the worst, but going up... 484 00:22:19,583 --> 00:22:22,479 Stairs in either direction is a nightmare. 485 00:22:22,504 --> 00:22:24,429 God, I love elevators. 486 00:22:24,454 --> 00:22:25,977 God, I love this co-op. 487 00:22:26,002 --> 00:22:27,175 All: Me, too! 488 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:28,263 Me, three! 489 00:22:28,288 --> 00:22:30,048 Yes, we're going up! 490 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,548 Co-ops crudely cooperate 491 00:22:32,573 --> 00:22:37,164 It's a hassle, but still somehow kind of great 492 00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:39,719 So we're going up 493 00:22:39,744 --> 00:22:41,751 In this rising purgatory 494 00:22:41,776 --> 00:22:46,366 Checking in on everyone and every story 495 00:22:46,391 --> 00:22:48,445 Yes, we're going up 496 00:22:48,470 --> 00:22:50,699 And the brown and beige and the brown and the beige 497 00:22:50,724 --> 00:22:56,309 - And the brown. - Yes, we're going up! 498 00:22:56,334 --> 00:22:58,738 And the brown and beige and the brown and the beige 499 00:22:58,763 --> 00:23:01,206 And the brown and beige and the brown and the beige 500 00:23:01,231 --> 00:23:06,226 Co-op, I love you! 501 00:23:07,852 --> 00:23:17,036 Sync and corrections by FunnyFunk 502 00:23:17,037 --> 00:23:25,845 503 00:23:25,846 --> 00:23:34,688 504 00:23:34,738 --> 00:23:39,288 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37022

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