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1
00:00:10,067 --> 00:00:13,161
Somewhere on this island,
they have buried $1 million.
2
00:00:13,237 --> 00:00:14,795
They are conducting
a treasure hunt...
3
00:00:14,872 --> 00:00:17,306
Buried on this island?
A million dollars?
4
00:00:18,576 --> 00:00:20,009
Take the chest and keep going.
5
00:00:20,077 --> 00:00:22,944
You really think someone's going to
come after you to get to the clues?
6
00:00:28,219 --> 00:00:31,052
Dig! Let's go. Dig! All right!
7
00:00:32,223 --> 00:00:33,212
That was a bat.
8
00:00:33,290 --> 00:00:35,451
I guess I'm a real
neurotic mess, anyway.
9
00:00:35,526 --> 00:00:38,427
Let's just try and make the best of
the rest of the treasure hunt, okay?
10
00:02:03,714 --> 00:02:06,342
Jump. All of you.
11
00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:08,009
You can't be serious.
12
00:02:08,085 --> 00:02:09,109
Down there?
13
00:02:09,186 --> 00:02:10,619
In the water?
14
00:02:10,688 --> 00:02:12,553
In the water.
15
00:02:12,623 --> 00:02:16,753
Look, guys, I think there's room
for discussion here. Why don't we...
16
00:02:16,827 --> 00:02:19,352
No. No more talk.
We're through talking.
17
00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:22,297
Everybody over the side,
in the drink.
18
00:02:22,366 --> 00:02:25,335
Come on. I mean,
we're all rational human beings.
19
00:02:25,436 --> 00:02:27,597
I mean, why don't we try
and work something out?
20
00:02:27,671 --> 00:02:30,265
After all, there's more than
enough to go around here.
21
00:02:30,341 --> 00:02:32,002
Not necessarily.
22
00:02:34,078 --> 00:02:37,514
Everyone stay
exactly as you are.
23
00:02:37,915 --> 00:02:42,215
The Great Treasure of Kalaniopu'u
Treasure Hunt is history.
24
00:02:46,624 --> 00:02:49,354
Time for the grand finale,
right now.
25
00:02:49,793 --> 00:02:52,626
I suppose you're all
wondering how we got into this mess.
26
00:02:52,696 --> 00:02:53,720
A fair question.
27
00:02:53,797 --> 00:02:56,732
Well, it all started
a very long time ago.
28
00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,234
In the year 1759, to be exact.
29
00:02:59,336 --> 00:03:01,861
And someplace
right around here.
30
00:03:03,174 --> 00:03:05,335
Move! Blast ye!
31
00:03:09,747 --> 00:03:12,807
The heathen Kalaniopu'u is upon us.
Come on, faster.
32
00:03:13,050 --> 00:03:15,450
Aye, Captain Dawkins.
Aye.
33
00:03:27,865 --> 00:03:29,492
Come on now, boys, let's run.
34
00:03:41,946 --> 00:03:43,709
Faster, me boys.
35
00:03:55,259 --> 00:03:56,920
Come on, boys.
36
00:04:12,843 --> 00:04:15,243
You and you,
take the chest and keep going.
37
00:04:15,379 --> 00:04:17,904
We'll rendezvous at the Cave of the
Wild Boar where waits Reverend Brown.
38
00:04:17,982 --> 00:04:19,779
And Maggie.
39
00:04:19,850 --> 00:04:22,478
Aye, Maggie.
40
00:04:22,586 --> 00:04:24,577
But, Captain,
what about you?
41
00:04:24,655 --> 00:04:27,385
Here we'll stand. Go!
42
00:04:34,598 --> 00:04:37,863
Gentlemen, load your muskets.
43
00:05:02,559 --> 00:05:04,527
Send them to hell!
44
00:05:06,430 --> 00:05:09,627
A real cliffhanger.
But considering what happened next,
45
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:11,634
I'd have to say
that Captain Dawkins
46
00:05:11,702 --> 00:05:14,364
and his band of pirates may
have been the lucky ones.
47
00:05:14,438 --> 00:05:17,737
After all, they were just fiction.
Everything else was reality.
48
00:05:19,443 --> 00:05:23,539
Magnum.
I say, Magnum.
49
00:05:24,481 --> 00:05:26,142
Sort of.
50
00:05:39,997 --> 00:05:42,465
Why don't you knock?
51
00:05:42,533 --> 00:05:45,468
Knock? I veritably tore
the door from its hinges
52
00:05:45,536 --> 00:05:49,233
in a vain attempt at civilized entry.
You are late.
53
00:05:49,306 --> 00:05:51,069
Late? Late where?
54
00:05:51,141 --> 00:05:53,837
To the Kalanianaole Pavilion
on the Windward Coast.
55
00:05:55,379 --> 00:05:56,869
The what?
56
00:05:58,749 --> 00:06:03,345
Higgins, come on, I had a rough six
hours at the university last night.
57
00:06:03,454 --> 00:06:07,948
No doubt with that overeager,
underaged coed you've been seeing.
58
00:06:08,025 --> 00:06:12,724
That overeager,
underaged coed is my tutor.
59
00:06:12,796 --> 00:06:14,286
Spare me the euphemism.
60
00:06:14,365 --> 00:06:15,730
She is!
61
00:06:15,799 --> 00:06:17,858
In what subject?
Advanced debauchery?
62
00:06:17,935 --> 00:06:19,869
Business administration.
63
00:06:21,105 --> 00:06:22,504
Dear me.
Whatever for?
64
00:06:22,573 --> 00:06:24,370
To improve the economic side
of my business.
65
00:06:24,441 --> 00:06:27,069
Never mind.
Why are you here and what am I late for?
66
00:06:27,177 --> 00:06:30,476
I'm here about
The Treasure of Kalaniopu'u.
67
00:06:30,547 --> 00:06:33,846
That's my copy. I bought and
paid for it with my own money.
68
00:06:34,485 --> 00:06:36,544
It seems that Robin Masters'
publishing company
69
00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:38,986
has come up with
a cheap gimmick
70
00:06:39,056 --> 00:06:40,956
unworthy of Mr. Masters,
in my opinion,
71
00:06:41,058 --> 00:06:42,923
to increase the paperback
sales of The Treasure.
72
00:06:42,993 --> 00:06:44,722
Oh, well,
I did my part.
73
00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:48,458
Somewhere on this island
they have buried $1 million.
74
00:06:48,532 --> 00:06:51,262
As did the character Captain
Dawkins in the novel.
75
00:06:51,335 --> 00:06:52,597
And they are conducting
a treasure hunt
76
00:06:52,669 --> 00:06:55,297
based on the incidents in
the book to spur sales.
77
00:06:55,372 --> 00:06:56,703
A million dollars?
78
00:06:56,774 --> 00:06:58,366
A mere write-off for them.
79
00:06:58,442 --> 00:06:59,431
A million dollars?
80
00:06:59,510 --> 00:07:02,502
And in the long run much more valuable
with the expected increase in sales
81
00:07:02,579 --> 00:07:05,070
plus a potential motion picture.
Be that as it may...
82
00:07:05,149 --> 00:07:07,344
Buried on this island?
A million dollars?
83
00:07:07,418 --> 00:07:10,819
Be that as it may, you have
been volunteered by Mr. Masters,
84
00:07:10,888 --> 00:07:14,085
who, I might add, finds the
whole thing as unseemly as I do
85
00:07:14,158 --> 00:07:16,854
and has fled indefinitely
to the south of France
86
00:07:16,927 --> 00:07:20,294
to coordinate this charade with a
representative from the publishing company.
87
00:07:20,364 --> 00:07:24,027
Boy, think of the tax problems
I'm gonna have, Higgins.
88
00:07:24,101 --> 00:07:25,864
Think of your duty, Magnum.
Huh?
89
00:07:25,936 --> 00:07:28,370
Your tax problems
are irrelevant.
90
00:07:28,472 --> 00:07:30,440
Why?
If I find a million dollars...
91
00:07:30,507 --> 00:07:31,769
Have you not heard a word
I've said?
92
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:34,402
You are an employee of Mr.
Masters in this venture.
93
00:07:34,545 --> 00:07:36,877
You are, therefore,
not eligible.
94
00:07:38,482 --> 00:07:40,040
Not eligible?
95
00:07:40,117 --> 00:07:41,379
And late.
96
00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:45,287
Very late, Mr. Magnum.
97
00:07:45,355 --> 00:07:48,552
I trust this isn't a harbinger
of your future work habits.
98
00:07:49,393 --> 00:07:51,122
Thirty-nine down.
What?
99
00:07:51,195 --> 00:07:53,823
"Something that foreshadows
or presages what is to come."
100
00:07:53,897 --> 00:07:55,728
Last Sunday's New York
Times crossword puzzle.
101
00:07:55,799 --> 00:07:57,061
Thirty-nine down.
Harbinger.
102
00:07:57,134 --> 00:07:58,499
You probably cheated.
103
00:07:58,569 --> 00:08:01,037
Why do you need
our medical insurance?
104
00:08:01,104 --> 00:08:03,368
In case anything happens.
105
00:08:03,507 --> 00:08:04,769
I did not cheat, Miss...
106
00:08:04,842 --> 00:08:09,472
Ms. Griswald. Amy.
Mount Kisco, New York.
107
00:08:09,646 --> 00:08:11,841
And I bet you did cheat.
108
00:08:11,915 --> 00:08:14,315
Well, we'll never know,
will we?
109
00:08:14,384 --> 00:08:17,478
What I would like to know is what
my "future work habits" entail.
110
00:08:17,554 --> 00:08:21,115
You know, consist of.
Be consistent with. Inevitably involve.
111
00:08:21,191 --> 00:08:24,160
Oh, I don't think he cheated,
Ms. Griswald.
112
00:08:24,228 --> 00:08:26,355
Yes, thank you. Good luck.
113
00:08:27,064 --> 00:08:29,498
What your job inevitably involves,
Mr. Magnum,
114
00:08:29,566 --> 00:08:32,831
is helping me keep
this treasure hunt honest.
115
00:08:32,903 --> 00:08:34,666
Fine. Honest.
116
00:08:34,738 --> 00:08:37,935
Yo, Thomas!
Where do I sign up?
117
00:08:41,912 --> 00:08:45,404
Ah. Wow, this is great.
One million simoleons.
118
00:08:45,482 --> 00:08:47,882
And all I gotta do is read
this here pirate book.
119
00:08:47,951 --> 00:08:49,748
Rick, I think you're gonna have
to do more than just read it.
120
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,549
You're gonna have
to read into it.
121
00:08:51,688 --> 00:08:54,782
You are required to take
225-year-old clues
122
00:08:54,858 --> 00:08:58,294
and translate that into a
search throughout modern Oahu.
123
00:08:58,362 --> 00:09:00,830
Starting here, the site
of the pagan sacrifice,
124
00:09:00,898 --> 00:09:03,093
as so colorfully depicted
in the novel.
125
00:09:03,166 --> 00:09:06,658
Yeah, right. Pagan sacrifice,
great stuff. Here, baby.
126
00:09:06,803 --> 00:09:09,067
Rick, I don't think
this is going to be that easy.
127
00:09:09,139 --> 00:09:11,937
Who cares?
I have a plan.
128
00:09:13,310 --> 00:09:14,777
They all do.
129
00:09:16,246 --> 00:09:18,305
It is kind of silly, isn't it?
130
00:09:18,382 --> 00:09:20,316
Kind of?
131
00:09:20,384 --> 00:09:22,818
I think it's absolutely
the most foolish stunt
132
00:09:22,886 --> 00:09:26,253
to hit the literary world
since the Howard Hughes will.
133
00:09:26,356 --> 00:09:29,348
I know that I did not
torturously apply myself
134
00:09:29,426 --> 00:09:30,950
to the taskmasters
at Bennington,
135
00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:33,861
then slave in the publishing
houses along Madison Avenue
136
00:09:33,997 --> 00:09:37,831
for the past 10 years to
wind up doing... Doing this.
137
00:09:39,002 --> 00:09:43,405
I'd rather be undertaking what I've been
trained to do, editing Norman Mailer.
138
00:09:43,707 --> 00:09:45,572
With a saber, of course.
139
00:09:45,642 --> 00:09:48,133
Or what about a scalpel?
140
00:09:48,211 --> 00:09:49,405
Doc lbold?
141
00:09:49,479 --> 00:09:51,845
Why not? I could make very
good use of that money.
142
00:09:51,915 --> 00:09:53,940
I can buy
a new set of golf clubs.
143
00:09:54,051 --> 00:09:55,916
And I shall swear
to my patients
144
00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:58,784
that I'll only hunt for that
treasure on Wednesdays and weekends.
145
00:09:58,922 --> 00:10:01,152
Hey, like, I'm curious.
Are there, like, other prizes
146
00:10:01,224 --> 00:10:03,624
for finding most of the clues
or something? Like...
147
00:10:03,694 --> 00:10:05,594
Like a computer?
148
00:10:05,662 --> 00:10:07,562
It's all or nothing,
young man.
149
00:10:07,631 --> 00:10:09,622
Oh, okay.
150
00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:12,835
Hey, like, I'm also curious,
Ms. Griswald.
151
00:10:12,903 --> 00:10:16,270
I mean, what am l supposed to
be doing here? Protecting you?
152
00:10:16,340 --> 00:10:19,207
I mean, because you know where all the
clues are and the treasure's hidden, right?
153
00:10:19,276 --> 00:10:20,641
Wrong.
154
00:10:20,711 --> 00:10:22,872
I trust your mental deductions
in your chosen field
155
00:10:22,946 --> 00:10:25,039
aren't as haphazardly
thought out as those
156
00:10:25,115 --> 00:10:27,675
or you'd probably be bumming off
the good graces of Robin Masters
157
00:10:27,751 --> 00:10:29,776
instead of working.
158
00:10:29,853 --> 00:10:31,753
Now, the clues will be
sent to me one at a time
159
00:10:31,822 --> 00:10:34,382
by the prestigious accounting
firm of Fletcher and Kilroy
160
00:10:34,458 --> 00:10:37,188
in New York to
insure my safety.
161
00:10:37,260 --> 00:10:40,627
And honesty. I mean,
it's just a haphazard deduction.
162
00:10:41,164 --> 00:10:42,495
Listen, I'll see you,
Thomas.
163
00:10:42,599 --> 00:10:44,430
Oh, bye, Doc.
164
00:10:44,635 --> 00:10:47,627
Good morning. Good morning.
Good morning, Mr. Magnum.
165
00:10:47,738 --> 00:10:49,706
I'm here to become
rich and famous,
166
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,434
along with my lovely
and charming partner.
167
00:10:52,509 --> 00:10:53,942
Hi.
Cards are over there.
168
00:10:54,011 --> 00:10:56,206
Oh. Hi, I'm Thomas Magnum.
I don't think we've met.
169
00:10:56,279 --> 00:10:57,303
Donna Clemens.
170
00:10:57,381 --> 00:10:59,212
I teach literature
over at the university.
171
00:10:59,282 --> 00:11:01,341
This is hardly literature.
172
00:11:02,552 --> 00:11:05,851
Well, good luck.
I think the contest starts in about...
173
00:11:05,922 --> 00:11:07,412
Exactly 12:00.
174
00:11:07,491 --> 00:11:09,049
Great. Great.
175
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:14,590
And we will be ready.
Research materials.
176
00:11:14,798 --> 00:11:18,359
We'll be right back with these cards.
My dear.
177
00:11:21,004 --> 00:11:22,471
Safety.
178
00:11:22,539 --> 00:11:26,134
You really think someone's going to
come after you to get to the clues?
179
00:11:26,209 --> 00:11:29,303
Who knows?
And who the hell cares?
180
00:11:29,446 --> 00:11:33,746
Excuse me. Doug Fenwick and Terry Dobbs,
direct from Beantown.
181
00:11:36,119 --> 00:11:39,054
We're here to sign up
for the treasure hunt.
182
00:11:39,956 --> 00:11:43,756
10, 9, 8, 7,
183
00:11:43,827 --> 00:11:49,026
6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
184
00:11:59,076 --> 00:12:03,570
Oh, Jonathan, isn't this
jolly good fun?
185
00:12:07,851 --> 00:12:09,842
Well, they're off and running.
186
00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:12,684
In pursuit of the
quintessential sucker's bet.
187
00:12:13,457 --> 00:12:15,186
Why? One of them's gonna win.
188
00:12:15,258 --> 00:12:18,989
And the rest?
I reiterate, Magnum. This is dumb.
189
00:12:20,964 --> 00:12:22,659
Well, it wasn't
Robin's idea.
190
00:12:22,966 --> 00:12:23,955
Maybe.
191
00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:26,969
But if he were a serious novelist
addressing the human condition
192
00:12:27,037 --> 00:12:29,005
in an incisive
and intellectual manner,
193
00:12:29,072 --> 00:12:31,802
we certainly
wouldn't be here doing this.
194
00:12:32,576 --> 00:12:34,066
At least,
I wouldn't be here.
195
00:12:34,144 --> 00:12:37,545
Well, maybe Robin is
addressing the human condition.
196
00:12:37,614 --> 00:12:39,514
Yes? How so?
197
00:12:39,583 --> 00:12:41,642
What bleak aspect
of human nature
198
00:12:41,718 --> 00:12:45,484
is Robin Masters exploring in
The Treasure of Kalaniopu'u?
199
00:12:45,555 --> 00:12:47,022
Greed.
200
00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:51,093
Well, where to,
Ms. Griswald?
201
00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:54,062
The Blue Coral Reef Hotel
near downtown.
202
00:12:54,131 --> 00:12:56,224
That's the vicinity
of the first clue.
203
00:12:56,299 --> 00:12:58,699
You happen to know where that
eminent hostelry might be?
204
00:12:58,769 --> 00:13:00,566
Yes, as a matter of fact,
I do.
205
00:13:00,637 --> 00:13:02,832
Robin and I had lunch there when
I was chauffeuring him around,
206
00:13:02,906 --> 00:13:04,464
scouting locations
for this book.
207
00:13:04,541 --> 00:13:05,940
Oh, how droll.
208
00:13:06,009 --> 00:13:07,499
Shall we, then?
209
00:13:11,248 --> 00:13:12,442
Bye, guys.
210
00:13:14,651 --> 00:13:18,348
And so, the Great Treasure
of Kalaniopu'u Treasure Hunt was on.
211
00:13:18,889 --> 00:13:21,357
And the great literary flash
from Mount Kisco and I
212
00:13:21,458 --> 00:13:24,518
were off running on a road
straight to a million.
213
00:13:24,661 --> 00:13:29,257
But for some of the others, this road
might prove to be a little more serpentine.
214
00:13:31,134 --> 00:13:32,260
How you doing?
215
00:13:32,335 --> 00:13:33,427
Close.
216
00:13:33,503 --> 00:13:34,492
To the treasure?
217
00:13:34,938 --> 00:13:37,998
No. To figuring out
the first clue.
218
00:13:38,074 --> 00:13:39,598
What I can't understand is
219
00:13:39,709 --> 00:13:42,803
why we just can't
skip all this clue stuff
220
00:13:42,879 --> 00:13:45,074
and go straight to where
the treasure's buried.
221
00:13:45,148 --> 00:13:46,172
Because, if you had read
the book...
222
00:13:46,249 --> 00:13:50,709
I read the book.
I've read all of Robin Masters' books.
223
00:13:50,787 --> 00:13:53,312
And Mad Buck Gibson
and Tolstoy.
224
00:13:53,390 --> 00:13:56,985
But that still doesn't tell me how
come we just can't zip to the treasure,
225
00:13:57,060 --> 00:13:59,358
skip all this
clue and other stuff.
226
00:13:59,429 --> 00:14:01,897
Because we have to
substantiate to Amy Griswald
227
00:14:01,965 --> 00:14:05,696
and to Magnum that we did in
fact figure out all the clues.
228
00:14:05,836 --> 00:14:08,703
You know, where we need to
start is that Hawaiian village
229
00:14:08,772 --> 00:14:11,104
that Dawkins and his crew
found when they first landed.
230
00:14:11,174 --> 00:14:13,199
Okay, okay, where is it?
231
00:14:13,276 --> 00:14:15,836
That's what I'm trying to
figure out if you'll let me.
232
00:14:15,912 --> 00:14:17,140
Okay, okay, okay.
233
00:14:17,214 --> 00:14:18,909
Okay. Listen to this.
234
00:14:18,982 --> 00:14:21,780
"The high priest
Kalaniopu'u's village
235
00:14:21,852 --> 00:14:25,583
"was nestled in a beach alcove
surrounded by a peaceful placid harbor
236
00:14:25,655 --> 00:14:28,624
"large enough to accommodate
Captain Dawkins' three masters..."
237
00:14:28,758 --> 00:14:30,316
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Fisherman's Wharf.
238
00:14:30,393 --> 00:14:31,724
Fisherman's Wharf. Go on,
go on, go on. All right!
239
00:14:31,795 --> 00:14:34,764
"lt was guarded by an ancient banyan
tree that rose majestically..."
240
00:14:34,831 --> 00:14:37,129
Oh! The Federal Building.
Ha! Let's go.
241
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:40,567
All right. Don't drive fast
enough to get us killed.
242
00:14:49,012 --> 00:14:50,309
Slow down.
243
00:14:50,380 --> 00:14:53,213
T.C.: We'll have
all of our lives to slow down.
244
00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:11,833
Watch it.
245
00:15:13,003 --> 00:15:15,494
Do you have to be so clumsy?
246
00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:17,935
Tr�s �l�gant.
247
00:15:18,942 --> 00:15:21,137
Well, fortunately,
we'll only have to endure
248
00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:23,236
this deplorable situation
one night.
249
00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:24,746
Then what?
250
00:15:24,814 --> 00:15:26,714
We go to where
the next clue takes us.
251
00:15:26,783 --> 00:15:27,841
Where's that?
Would you... Shh!
252
00:15:27,918 --> 00:15:29,818
Will you please
give me some credit?
253
00:15:29,886 --> 00:15:31,285
Fine, but give me
some credit, too.
254
00:15:31,354 --> 00:15:32,514
We are a team, aren't we?
255
00:15:32,589 --> 00:15:34,250
We are not a team.
256
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:37,725
I am the supervisor of this contest.
You are working for me.
257
00:15:37,794 --> 00:15:40,262
Your job is to keep away
the weirdoes and the kooks.
258
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:43,060
Oh, okay, I can see how that
could be a problem. Watch it!
259
00:15:44,935 --> 00:15:48,837
Look, look, I can't tell you
where the specific clue sites are.
260
00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:52,866
There's no need for you to know.
There is a need to protect me.
261
00:15:53,443 --> 00:15:55,843
So, come on,
let's just get registered.
262
00:15:58,581 --> 00:16:00,173
Ms. Griswald.
263
00:16:04,821 --> 00:16:07,949
Here you are, 2012,
the honeymoon suite.
264
00:16:09,125 --> 00:16:10,649
You're hardly serious.
265
00:16:10,727 --> 00:16:12,194
It's on the computer.
266
00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:14,025
I think you made
a mistake there.
267
00:16:14,097 --> 00:16:16,497
No mistake.
It's on the computer.
268
00:16:16,566 --> 00:16:19,034
I don't care if it's etched
in Paleolithic granite,
269
00:16:19,102 --> 00:16:21,002
this is clearly unacceptable.
270
00:16:21,304 --> 00:16:25,070
We are supposed to have
adjoining but separate rooms.
271
00:16:25,141 --> 00:16:26,768
You're not married?
272
00:16:26,843 --> 00:16:28,777
No!
273
00:16:29,713 --> 00:16:31,874
Look, Mr. Kono,
274
00:16:32,082 --> 00:16:34,983
my company made these
reservations three weeks ago.
275
00:16:35,051 --> 00:16:36,313
Two rooms.
276
00:16:36,386 --> 00:16:38,047
Maybe the computer
did make a mistake.
277
00:16:38,121 --> 00:16:39,986
The computer does not
make mistakes.
278
00:16:40,123 --> 00:16:43,024
Maybe you made a mistake.
I know I did.
279
00:16:43,827 --> 00:16:46,125
I'm terribly sorry,
but it'd be very difficult to move you
280
00:16:46,196 --> 00:16:48,255
as there's a whole convention
staying here.
281
00:16:48,331 --> 00:16:51,232
The Royal Order of Water
Buffaloes from Dayton, Ohio.
282
00:16:51,668 --> 00:16:52,726
You're kidding.
283
00:16:52,802 --> 00:16:53,894
No, ma'am.
284
00:16:55,872 --> 00:16:58,841
Well, then move them! Now!
285
00:16:58,908 --> 00:17:03,277
Or I'll have this place reduced
to rubble! Rubble! Do you hear me?
286
00:17:03,847 --> 00:17:05,439
Maybe we can work
something out.
287
00:17:05,515 --> 00:17:06,880
You'd better.
288
00:17:12,055 --> 00:17:14,956
Hey, pal, you can have
my room.
289
00:17:16,393 --> 00:17:20,352
I wouldn't wish that on anyone,
even my worst enemy.
290
00:17:22,599 --> 00:17:25,591
Come on, Magnum, on your feet.
Everything is taken care of.
291
00:17:25,668 --> 00:17:28,364
Now all we have to do
is find the damn place.
292
00:17:32,308 --> 00:17:33,798
Listen, I know it's here
somewhere.
293
00:17:33,877 --> 00:17:35,469
Hey, you'd better
find it, brah,
294
00:17:35,545 --> 00:17:37,740
otherwise we'll be out a cool million,
you know?
295
00:17:37,814 --> 00:17:39,645
And that'll be the end
of our beautiful partnership.
296
00:17:39,716 --> 00:17:41,445
I got it.
297
00:17:45,121 --> 00:17:46,713
Hey, listen, Kika,
are you sure
298
00:17:46,790 --> 00:17:48,052
that we're headed
in the right direction?
299
00:17:48,124 --> 00:17:49,284
Of course I'm sure, Doc.
300
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:54,691
The village of Kalaniopu'u is
the village of my ancestors.
301
00:17:54,764 --> 00:17:56,527
Yeah, the village
of your ancestors
302
00:17:56,599 --> 00:17:59,625
has not been in existence
for some 200 years.
303
00:18:02,605 --> 00:18:05,335
We Hawaiians have a great
oral tradition.
304
00:18:06,576 --> 00:18:10,444
Well, I hope that this haole and
this Hawaiian have a terrific future.
305
00:18:13,083 --> 00:18:16,610
Hey, listen, Kika, what are you
gonna do with all that money?
306
00:18:16,753 --> 00:18:19,017
Are you gonna buy out
the petty cab industry?
307
00:18:20,223 --> 00:18:22,316
Are you kidding, man?
I'm gonna live!
308
00:18:24,294 --> 00:18:28,196
No more peddling around those over-sized
tricycles, you know, all over town.
309
00:18:28,298 --> 00:18:31,825
Hey, I'm gonna be like Magnum,
you know. My own estate.
310
00:18:31,968 --> 00:18:36,166
My own red sports car.
Maybe I'll become a Pl, too.
311
00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:42,206
Hey, Doc, you and me are gonna
go downtown, find that cash
312
00:18:42,812 --> 00:18:44,507
and live like kings.
313
00:18:44,681 --> 00:18:45,909
Like King Kamehameha, huh?
314
00:18:45,982 --> 00:18:47,074
You got it.
315
00:18:47,150 --> 00:18:49,084
All right, this is fun.
Let's go.
316
00:18:51,988 --> 00:18:54,582
If they only knew
what fun I was really having.
317
00:18:54,657 --> 00:18:57,524
I mean, it was bad enough being
stuck doing this silly job
318
00:18:57,594 --> 00:19:00,085
with the supercilious
Amy Griswald,
319
00:19:00,230 --> 00:19:03,290
but I was also missing
the Detroit-Toronto game
320
00:19:03,366 --> 00:19:04,856
which was being beamed
at this very moment
321
00:19:04,934 --> 00:19:07,869
Iive and direct from Canada
via satellite
322
00:19:07,937 --> 00:19:11,498
to Robin's new dish and my
comfortable old guest house.
323
00:19:11,574 --> 00:19:13,906
My options here
were sadly more limited.
324
00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:19,582
And, so far, I was really
having a hard time
325
00:19:19,649 --> 00:19:22,516
figuring out what I was really
supposed to be doing.
326
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:25,588
I knew we were in the general
vicinity of the first clue,
327
00:19:25,655 --> 00:19:29,955
but Ms. Griswald refused to even
tell me specifically where it was.
328
00:19:30,026 --> 00:19:33,325
As if I even cared,
not being eligible anyway.
329
00:19:34,664 --> 00:19:37,428
It was the kind of evening
where I even found myself
330
00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:41,459
rooting for Woody
to fall out of his tree.
331
00:19:52,348 --> 00:19:54,612
Ms. Griswald?
332
00:19:59,989 --> 00:20:00,978
Amy.
333
00:20:05,562 --> 00:20:06,893
Oh.
334
00:20:12,402 --> 00:20:13,426
You okay?
335
00:20:14,604 --> 00:20:15,628
No! It's me, it's me. It's me.
336
00:20:15,705 --> 00:20:18,572
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
That's okay.
337
00:20:19,809 --> 00:20:21,037
You okay?
338
00:20:21,110 --> 00:20:24,841
Yeah, yeah.
Physically. Physically, yes.
339
00:20:25,715 --> 00:20:28,183
Emotionally, psychologically,
340
00:20:28,251 --> 00:20:31,243
and in terms
of every woman's angst, no.
341
00:20:37,026 --> 00:20:39,221
No, no, you're fine,
you're fine.
342
00:20:40,363 --> 00:20:41,591
It's okay.
Yeah.
343
00:20:42,765 --> 00:20:44,198
All right?
Yeah.
344
00:20:44,267 --> 00:20:45,859
What happened?
345
00:20:47,937 --> 00:20:51,304
Two intruders broke in and
tried to steal the first clue.
346
00:20:51,407 --> 00:20:52,874
Did they get it?
347
00:20:52,942 --> 00:20:55,968
It's all right here.
348
00:20:59,616 --> 00:21:02,107
Well, that's just great.
That's great.
349
00:21:03,419 --> 00:21:05,410
How am I supposed to protect
the integrity of this contest,
350
00:21:05,488 --> 00:21:08,355
not to mention you,
if you don't confide in me?
351
00:21:08,491 --> 00:21:12,222
You're right.
This is all getting too weird.
352
00:21:14,497 --> 00:21:16,624
Okay, I'll tell you
where it is.
353
00:21:16,699 --> 00:21:17,893
Great.
354
00:21:17,967 --> 00:21:21,130
But you've also got
to tell me one thing.
355
00:21:21,204 --> 00:21:22,432
What?
356
00:21:24,274 --> 00:21:26,799
Just where the hell do you
expect me to sleep tonight?
357
00:21:32,115 --> 00:21:33,776
Amy was only half right.
358
00:21:33,850 --> 00:21:35,647
Not only were things
getting "too weird,"
359
00:21:35,718 --> 00:21:37,982
they were also getting
too dangerous.
360
00:21:38,054 --> 00:21:40,284
And it wasn't only her
I was concerned about.
361
00:21:40,356 --> 00:21:42,881
All my friends
were involved, too.
362
00:21:43,926 --> 00:21:45,791
T.C.: Okay. It's here.
363
00:21:46,362 --> 00:21:47,624
Where?
364
00:21:47,697 --> 00:21:51,064
You'd really need a bulldozer
to dig up all this cement.
365
00:21:52,068 --> 00:21:53,933
Not necessarily.
366
00:21:54,804 --> 00:21:56,965
The majestic banyan tree.
367
00:22:02,845 --> 00:22:04,870
Deeper.
368
00:22:04,947 --> 00:22:08,041
Any deeper and we're talking
China here.
369
00:22:27,837 --> 00:22:29,600
We found it. We did it.
370
00:22:30,940 --> 00:22:33,306
They'll hear you.
Let's have a look.
371
00:22:38,781 --> 00:22:44,151
T.C.: Well, great. We found it,
but what does it mean?
372
00:22:44,220 --> 00:22:45,949
I think I know
what it means.
373
00:22:47,423 --> 00:22:48,549
I think I know.
374
00:22:48,624 --> 00:22:49,613
Well, what? What?
375
00:22:54,664 --> 00:22:56,359
Hi.
376
00:22:57,734 --> 00:22:59,395
What are you doing?
What are you doing here? T.C.
377
00:22:59,469 --> 00:23:02,063
Take it easy. The same as you are.
I'm after the treasure.
378
00:23:02,138 --> 00:23:04,971
You followed us!
I thought you had a plan.
379
00:23:05,608 --> 00:23:09,100
Yeah, that's it. I can live on a
third of a million bucks real easy.
380
00:23:09,178 --> 00:23:10,577
Now let's cover
this boulder up
381
00:23:10,646 --> 00:23:12,273
before someone else knows
where to find it.
382
00:23:12,348 --> 00:23:14,873
No, no you can't.
That's one of the rules of the contest.
383
00:23:14,951 --> 00:23:18,148
You can't alter or disfigure an
exposed clue or you're disqualified.
384
00:23:18,654 --> 00:23:20,315
I'm going to alter
and disfigure him.
385
00:23:20,390 --> 00:23:23,655
Just take it easy, you can't.
We're friends and now we're partners.
386
00:23:27,697 --> 00:23:29,756
Oh, we're history.
387
00:23:37,573 --> 00:23:39,700
You're under arrest for
destruction of public property.
388
00:24:04,033 --> 00:24:05,091
You're relieved, Officer.
389
00:24:05,168 --> 00:24:08,262
Downtown wants us
to cordon off the area.
390
00:24:08,371 --> 00:24:09,633
Right. Mahalo.
391
00:24:39,202 --> 00:24:42,069
So far, it wasn't a
particularly auspicious night
392
00:24:42,138 --> 00:24:46,541
nor an auspicious beginning for the Great
Treasure of Kalaniopu'u Treasure Hunt.
393
00:24:46,609 --> 00:24:48,770
I mean, spending the night
folded up on my couch
394
00:24:48,845 --> 00:24:51,973
while Amy Griswald slept
peacefully in my bed,
395
00:24:52,048 --> 00:24:54,016
no doubt dreaming dreams
of what she'd like to do
396
00:24:54,083 --> 00:24:57,177
to Norman Mailer and Ernest Hemingway,
was not my idea of fun.
397
00:24:57,353 --> 00:25:00,083
But I suppose where Rick, T. C.
and Donna spent theirs
398
00:25:00,156 --> 00:25:02,056
wasn't a night
at the Ritz either.
399
00:25:02,124 --> 00:25:03,785
Come on, Lieutenant,
you gotta let us out of here.
400
00:25:03,860 --> 00:25:05,384
You don't know
what's at stake.
401
00:25:05,461 --> 00:25:08,794
What's at stake is eight hours
of sleep down the drain. Mine.
402
00:25:08,865 --> 00:25:11,163
But, Lieutenant,
we're talking about a million bucks.
403
00:25:11,267 --> 00:25:15,795
Look, Lieutenant, we'll
cut you in for 100 big ones.
404
00:25:15,872 --> 00:25:17,169
Rick.
405
00:25:19,509 --> 00:25:22,307
All right. A quarter.
You're an equal partner.
406
00:25:22,512 --> 00:25:26,414
I'm a homicide investigator.
Now, why did you ask to see me?
407
00:25:26,983 --> 00:25:29,008
Because you're the only cop
we know.
408
00:25:29,085 --> 00:25:31,918
And we'd like to consider you
our friend.
409
00:25:32,154 --> 00:25:36,591
And even though I've only personally
known you for a short period of time,
410
00:25:36,759 --> 00:25:40,525
it's real easy to see you're a man
of grace and literary sensitivity.
411
00:25:40,596 --> 00:25:42,723
And we knew once everything
was explained to you,
412
00:25:42,798 --> 00:25:43,787
you'd understand.
413
00:25:43,866 --> 00:25:45,197
And let us go.
414
00:25:45,268 --> 00:25:47,259
Please, don't try to con me.
415
00:25:47,370 --> 00:25:49,861
I've been conned by the best,
like your friend, Magnum.
416
00:25:50,540 --> 00:25:54,237
And I have to say this,
the three of you are rank amateurs.
417
00:25:54,310 --> 00:25:56,870
So I take it
you're not letting us go?
418
00:25:56,946 --> 00:25:58,436
You destroyed
private property.
419
00:25:58,514 --> 00:26:01,745
You're liable for damages and
so is the publishing company.
420
00:26:01,817 --> 00:26:04,945
You got to know that this
is going on your records.
421
00:26:05,054 --> 00:26:06,078
And furthermore...
422
00:26:07,823 --> 00:26:09,017
Tanaka.
423
00:26:09,959 --> 00:26:10,948
Oh.
424
00:26:13,529 --> 00:26:15,963
Right. No problem.
425
00:26:16,532 --> 00:26:18,159
You're free to go.
426
00:26:18,301 --> 00:26:19,893
How come?
427
00:26:19,969 --> 00:26:21,596
Apparently, there was
a misunderstanding.
428
00:26:21,671 --> 00:26:23,901
The federal authorities
were aware of the boulder
429
00:26:23,973 --> 00:26:26,908
and gave the treasure hunt
people permission.
430
00:26:27,109 --> 00:26:30,237
Only thing was, the anonymous passerby
who called us didn't know that.
431
00:26:30,613 --> 00:26:31,910
So, good night. Good night.
432
00:26:32,014 --> 00:26:33,413
Mahalo, Lieutenant.
433
00:26:34,083 --> 00:26:35,641
Just stay out of trouble.
434
00:27:01,577 --> 00:27:06,105
Oh, I'm sorry. I was...
I was dreaming about last night,
435
00:27:06,182 --> 00:27:10,585
those two guys,
and then when I woke up, you were...
436
00:27:13,422 --> 00:27:15,788
Do you know
how to make coffee?
437
00:27:27,036 --> 00:27:28,970
You're not mad, are you?
438
00:27:29,038 --> 00:27:34,374
Mad? Mad? No, of course not.
I mean, why should I be mad?
439
00:27:34,443 --> 00:27:35,535
Being roommates with a...
440
00:27:35,611 --> 00:27:37,340
Don't say it.
441
00:27:37,913 --> 00:27:40,211
How do you know
what I was going to say next?
442
00:27:40,783 --> 00:27:42,910
I'm a good guesser.
443
00:27:43,586 --> 00:27:44,575
And the truth
of the matter is,
444
00:27:44,654 --> 00:27:46,952
whatever you were going to say,
I deserve it.
445
00:27:48,157 --> 00:27:50,489
I've been disparaging you
and this treasure hunt
446
00:27:50,559 --> 00:27:52,288
ever since
they assigned me to it,
447
00:27:52,361 --> 00:27:54,989
and I know you
were reluctant, too.
448
00:27:56,132 --> 00:27:58,293
And I know that if it weren't
for you scaring off those guys,
449
00:27:58,367 --> 00:27:59,561
and then talking to the cops
450
00:27:59,635 --> 00:28:02,536
and then taking care of
everything last night, well,
451
00:28:03,272 --> 00:28:05,900
I'd just be a real
neurotic mess.
452
00:28:08,577 --> 00:28:11,375
I guess I'm a real
neurotic mess anyway.
453
00:28:14,784 --> 00:28:15,773
Thank you.
454
00:28:16,085 --> 00:28:17,279
For what?
455
00:28:17,586 --> 00:28:18,575
Everything.
456
00:28:19,488 --> 00:28:20,750
Sure.
457
00:28:22,291 --> 00:28:26,728
Let's just try and make the best of
the rest of the treasure hunt, okay?
458
00:28:27,029 --> 00:28:28,326
Okay.
459
00:28:30,299 --> 00:28:32,267
So, where's the next clue?
460
00:28:32,334 --> 00:28:34,359
I don't know.
They're supposed to call.
461
00:28:41,811 --> 00:28:43,176
Hello?
462
00:28:47,483 --> 00:28:48,677
Griswald.
463
00:28:49,952 --> 00:28:51,943
Yeah. Uh-huh.
464
00:28:53,956 --> 00:28:57,357
Uh-huh.
Right. We'll be there.
465
00:29:00,563 --> 00:29:02,292
Where?
Where's the next clue?
466
00:29:02,364 --> 00:29:04,832
It doesn't matter. They actually
told me where the treasure is.
467
00:29:05,101 --> 00:29:06,261
Now all we have to do
is show up
468
00:29:06,335 --> 00:29:08,326
and wait for the lucky
winner to get there.
469
00:29:08,404 --> 00:29:10,031
Really?
Yeah.
470
00:29:10,106 --> 00:29:11,505
The whole thing?
Yeah.
471
00:29:12,374 --> 00:29:13,807
Why?
472
00:29:13,909 --> 00:29:15,001
Well, because
of what's happened,
473
00:29:15,077 --> 00:29:16,704
they don't want to take
any more chances with me
474
00:29:16,779 --> 00:29:19,475
or the hunt
getting compromised.
475
00:29:20,116 --> 00:29:22,175
In other words,
we're just supervisors now.
476
00:29:22,251 --> 00:29:24,082
We're through
being roommates.
477
00:29:24,153 --> 00:29:25,142
Oh.
478
00:29:28,491 --> 00:29:29,480
Thanks.
479
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:52,469
A bat!
480
00:29:52,882 --> 00:29:55,476
T.C.:
That was not a bat.
481
00:29:59,922 --> 00:30:01,389
That was a bat.
482
00:30:01,457 --> 00:30:03,584
Orville, will you just shut up
and come on?
483
00:30:03,659 --> 00:30:06,890
Now, what's a couple of bats
compared to a million bucks?
484
00:30:11,066 --> 00:30:12,727
I'm thinking about it.
485
00:30:17,173 --> 00:30:20,108
Where's that
First Mate guy anyway? Hey.
486
00:30:20,910 --> 00:30:23,708
Let me see. Ah!
487
00:30:24,814 --> 00:30:27,374
Let's see. Okay, here we go.
488
00:30:27,449 --> 00:30:31,510
"First Mate Dick Trevor was
instructed by Captain Dawkins
489
00:30:31,587 --> 00:30:34,750
"to proceed to the Cave of
the Wild Boar where he..."
490
00:30:34,824 --> 00:30:36,416
Wild boar. What wild boar?
491
00:30:36,492 --> 00:30:37,925
Shut up.
492
00:30:39,562 --> 00:30:42,122
"...where he was
to await further instructions.
493
00:30:42,198 --> 00:30:43,460
"Unbeknownst to him..."
494
00:30:43,532 --> 00:30:46,831
He was probably killed by the bats.
Pecked to death.
495
00:30:47,670 --> 00:30:49,604
Probably sucked the blood
right out of his neck.
496
00:30:49,672 --> 00:30:51,606
Shut up.
497
00:30:54,810 --> 00:30:57,904
Well, at any rate, according to the
inscriptions we found on the rock,
498
00:30:57,980 --> 00:30:59,106
we're in the right cave.
499
00:30:59,181 --> 00:31:03,174
Now, all we have to do is
find First Mate Dick Trevor.
500
00:31:03,319 --> 00:31:05,947
Sure. He's probably waiting
just around the bend.
501
00:31:24,807 --> 00:31:26,138
You!
502
00:31:26,208 --> 00:31:27,903
What are you guys
doing here?
503
00:31:30,179 --> 00:31:32,147
We're lost.
Investigating.
504
00:31:33,182 --> 00:31:34,877
Investigating what?
505
00:31:34,950 --> 00:31:37,316
How about one million bucks,
investigating?
506
00:31:37,386 --> 00:31:38,512
Mmm-hmm.
507
00:31:38,587 --> 00:31:40,487
You two guys
better come clean.
508
00:31:40,623 --> 00:31:43,285
Listen, after you were arrested,
the lieutenant called me,
509
00:31:43,359 --> 00:31:44,587
just to make
an official report.
510
00:31:44,660 --> 00:31:46,560
It was really
routine stuff and...
511
00:31:46,629 --> 00:31:49,689
And we decided,
the best course of action,
512
00:31:49,765 --> 00:31:53,758
and since you're all friends of ours
and to avoid any further complications,
513
00:31:53,836 --> 00:31:55,531
was to investigate more fully.
So...
514
00:31:55,604 --> 00:31:59,199
Yeah, so anyway, we were looking at
the snapshot of the boulder clue,
515
00:31:59,275 --> 00:32:01,869
and, really, purely
for background purposes,
516
00:32:01,944 --> 00:32:06,506
we kind of went out... We just
picked up a copy of the book and...
517
00:32:06,615 --> 00:32:08,480
And tried to rip us off.
518
00:32:08,550 --> 00:32:09,744
Mmm-hmm.
519
00:32:09,818 --> 00:32:12,150
And these guys
aren't even registered.
520
00:32:12,221 --> 00:32:13,620
But you are.
521
00:32:16,525 --> 00:32:19,426
Maybe we can be
silent partners.
522
00:32:20,062 --> 00:32:21,791
Silent partners?
523
00:32:23,666 --> 00:32:25,156
That would mean
the split would be...
524
00:32:25,234 --> 00:32:27,065
$200,000.
525
00:32:27,136 --> 00:32:29,468
We can live with that.
Can you?
526
00:32:31,473 --> 00:32:35,705
Unless you want to go back to the
station and answer a few more questions.
527
00:32:40,282 --> 00:32:42,682
Come on.
I think it's this way.
528
00:32:50,693 --> 00:32:51,955
That's it! I'm out of here!
529
00:32:52,027 --> 00:32:53,892
Hold it. Hold it.
530
00:32:55,965 --> 00:32:57,364
Who's in here?
531
00:32:57,433 --> 00:32:59,401
Come out or I'll...
I'll shoot.
532
00:32:59,668 --> 00:33:00,999
You can't shoot people.
533
00:33:01,070 --> 00:33:03,061
Yeah, well,
we can shoot ghosts.
534
00:33:03,138 --> 00:33:04,730
There are no ghosts.
535
00:33:04,940 --> 00:33:07,306
Look, you come out
or I'm coming in.
536
00:33:08,544 --> 00:33:12,207
I'm gonna count to three.
One, two...
537
00:33:12,281 --> 00:33:14,442
Okay, okay, okay,
we're coming.
538
00:33:16,552 --> 00:33:17,644
How's it, brah?
539
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:19,881
"How's it, brah?" I'm gonna...
540
00:33:19,955 --> 00:33:21,149
T.C.
541
00:33:21,223 --> 00:33:22,485
What are you guys
doing here?
542
00:33:22,558 --> 00:33:24,549
I believe we share
the same general interests.
543
00:33:24,626 --> 00:33:25,650
I mean how...
544
00:33:25,728 --> 00:33:26,786
It was rather difficult,
actually.
545
00:33:26,862 --> 00:33:28,887
When we got
to the banyan tree,
546
00:33:28,964 --> 00:33:31,694
which, evidently,
you so thoughtfully dug up,
547
00:33:31,767 --> 00:33:33,166
we found there was
nobody there
548
00:33:33,235 --> 00:33:35,567
except two
plainclothes policemen.
549
00:33:35,637 --> 00:33:37,400
And they let you
look at the clue?
550
00:33:37,473 --> 00:33:39,668
Well, no.
Actually, we waited for them to leave,
551
00:33:39,742 --> 00:33:43,371
only to find that that clue,
that mark on the rock face,
552
00:33:43,445 --> 00:33:45,174
had been hurriedly
painted over.
553
00:33:45,247 --> 00:33:47,977
So my partner Kika and l
removed that boulder,
554
00:33:48,050 --> 00:33:50,245
we took it to my lab
and we took off the paint.
555
00:33:50,319 --> 00:33:52,116
That's what took us so long.
556
00:33:52,187 --> 00:33:54,314
You mean, the cops painted
the rock over?
557
00:33:54,390 --> 00:33:55,379
I guess.
558
00:33:55,457 --> 00:33:57,254
I'm gonna get their names.
That's destruction of evidence.
559
00:33:57,326 --> 00:34:01,592
That's not important. What is
important is the fact that right now
560
00:34:01,730 --> 00:34:05,530
the seven of us in this cave are the only
ones who know the location of this clue.
561
00:34:05,768 --> 00:34:08,532
Obviously, the painted rock was
a dead end for everybody else,
562
00:34:08,604 --> 00:34:10,936
so the
treasure is ours.
563
00:34:11,006 --> 00:34:12,667
Yeah, that's precisely right.
564
00:34:12,741 --> 00:34:14,675
I apologize for alarming you,
565
00:34:14,743 --> 00:34:16,438
but when we heard the voices
we decided
566
00:34:16,512 --> 00:34:18,480
discretion was the better part
of valor
567
00:34:18,547 --> 00:34:20,708
until we could ascertain
indeed precisely
568
00:34:20,783 --> 00:34:22,444
who it was
that we were dealing with.
569
00:34:22,518 --> 00:34:25,078
Oh, this is wonderful,
wonderful.
570
00:34:25,721 --> 00:34:28,417
How many times does seven
go into a million?
571
00:34:28,490 --> 00:34:29,548
One hundred and forty...
572
00:34:29,625 --> 00:34:30,819
...two thousand
eight hundred...
573
00:34:30,893 --> 00:34:32,326
...and 57 dollars...
574
00:34:32,394 --> 00:34:33,861
...and 14 cents.
575
00:34:35,764 --> 00:34:37,095
I knew it!
576
00:34:37,166 --> 00:34:39,327
Where is this clue?
577
00:34:39,935 --> 00:34:41,835
Right over here.
578
00:34:44,740 --> 00:34:48,039
For in the book, remember,
First Mate Dick Trevor
579
00:34:48,110 --> 00:34:53,446
swallowed that map
just before he was killed.
580
00:34:55,117 --> 00:34:57,517
Well, where is it?
The suspense is killing me.
581
00:34:57,653 --> 00:34:59,518
Oh, my God.
582
00:35:01,156 --> 00:35:02,680
The treasure is here?
583
00:35:02,758 --> 00:35:04,089
Apparently.
584
00:35:04,159 --> 00:35:07,560
Buried beneath my prized bed of
grandiflora Queen Elizabeths?
585
00:35:07,629 --> 00:35:08,857
Evidently.
586
00:35:08,931 --> 00:35:10,091
Why?
587
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:12,799
I don't know.
I'm just a hired hand.
588
00:35:12,868 --> 00:35:14,028
How? When?
589
00:35:14,103 --> 00:35:15,468
I don't know.
590
00:35:16,205 --> 00:35:17,763
Maybe it happened
last weekend
591
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:20,070
when you were on Maui and I
was at my economics seminar.
592
00:35:20,142 --> 00:35:22,372
How could Mr. Masters
do this to me?
593
00:35:22,444 --> 00:35:24,708
Calm yourself,
Jonathan.
594
00:35:24,780 --> 00:35:27,112
It probably wasn't Robin,
Mr. Higgins.
595
00:35:27,182 --> 00:35:29,707
I'm sure it was
the company's idea,
596
00:35:29,785 --> 00:35:31,480
because in the book
the implication was
597
00:35:31,553 --> 00:35:35,045
that the treasure was finally
located in a tropical garden.
598
00:35:35,124 --> 00:35:38,093
You know, just before
the oh-so-tragic ending.
599
00:35:38,193 --> 00:35:41,560
And this being Robin's property,
the advance man,
600
00:35:41,630 --> 00:35:43,359
the genius
who figured all this out,
601
00:35:43,432 --> 00:35:47,027
probably figured this was the
closest thing we had to one.
602
00:35:47,102 --> 00:35:50,003
You know, a million dollars
is a million dollars.
603
00:35:50,072 --> 00:35:52,540
We couldn't very well
just bury it anywhere.
604
00:35:55,711 --> 00:35:57,941
On behalf of the company,
I do apologize.
605
00:35:58,013 --> 00:36:00,607
And I'm sure any damage to your
flowerbed will be compensated.
606
00:36:00,682 --> 00:36:02,547
That is not the point.
607
00:36:02,618 --> 00:36:05,280
Jonathan, please.
You'll have a stroke.
608
00:36:05,354 --> 00:36:06,878
I don't care. I...
609
00:36:06,955 --> 00:36:09,753
Ms. Griswald,
telephone, Ms. Griswald.
610
00:36:09,958 --> 00:36:12,290
Will you just excuse me
for a moment?
611
00:36:22,037 --> 00:36:24,232
I still don't see why my
grandiflora Queen Elizabeths
612
00:36:24,306 --> 00:36:26,740
had to perish for the sake
of a cheap publicity stunt.
613
00:36:26,875 --> 00:36:28,604
I'm sure when all this
is over, Higgins,
614
00:36:28,677 --> 00:36:29,666
you can get some
new flowers.
615
00:36:29,745 --> 00:36:31,975
They're not just flowers.
They're...
616
00:36:32,047 --> 00:36:34,447
Big trouble.
I'm glad you finally realize that.
617
00:36:34,516 --> 00:36:37,576
I'm not talking about the roses,
Mr. Higgins.
618
00:36:37,953 --> 00:36:39,443
That was Channel 8 news.
619
00:36:39,521 --> 00:36:42,149
Somehow, they've stumbled upon some
of the treasure hunters at the cave
620
00:36:42,224 --> 00:36:44,658
and they've sent a crew up
there to do a story on them.
621
00:36:44,726 --> 00:36:47,820
I've got to get up there, because if any
of those clue sites appear on television,
622
00:36:47,896 --> 00:36:49,557
the whole contest will be
compromised.
623
00:36:49,631 --> 00:36:50,620
I'll go with you.
624
00:36:50,699 --> 00:36:52,257
No, you won't.
I mean, you can't.
625
00:36:52,334 --> 00:36:54,529
You've got to stay here with the money.
But...
626
00:36:54,603 --> 00:36:56,230
And if any of the entrants
are smart enough
627
00:36:56,305 --> 00:36:59,035
to have figured this part out,
you must supervise the unearthing.
628
00:36:59,107 --> 00:37:00,199
I'll be back
just as soon as I can.
629
00:37:00,275 --> 00:37:02,072
But...
Please do as I ask.
630
00:37:02,144 --> 00:37:04,510
I don't want to lose
my job,
631
00:37:04,580 --> 00:37:07,048
intellectually degrading
as it may be.
632
00:37:13,722 --> 00:37:15,587
I know how you feel,
Higgins,
633
00:37:15,657 --> 00:37:19,923
but sometimes the whims of the rich
and powerful can be very capricious.
634
00:37:19,995 --> 00:37:22,361
But I know
you'll get over it, really.
635
00:37:22,431 --> 00:37:24,262
He's right, Jonathan.
636
00:37:24,333 --> 00:37:26,528
And after all,
how much worse can things get?
637
00:37:42,150 --> 00:37:43,481
Let's go for it.
638
00:37:43,552 --> 00:37:45,247
Dig! Let's go! Dig!
639
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:47,618
All right! Dig!
640
00:37:59,501 --> 00:38:03,733
My God, there's nothing there.
641
00:38:12,748 --> 00:38:14,773
I demand an explanation.
642
00:38:15,317 --> 00:38:16,807
From me? Why me?
643
00:38:16,885 --> 00:38:18,512
Because you are in charge
of this contest.
644
00:38:18,587 --> 00:38:21,988
I'm not in charge of this contest.
Amy Griswald is, or was.
645
00:38:22,057 --> 00:38:24,116
My job was to try
and keep it honest.
646
00:38:24,192 --> 00:38:26,683
Performed, I might add,
in your typically superlative fashion.
647
00:38:26,762 --> 00:38:28,024
Where is the million dollars?
648
00:38:28,096 --> 00:38:29,256
I don't know.
649
00:38:29,331 --> 00:38:32,391
All this death and mutilation
for naught, for naught.
650
00:38:32,467 --> 00:38:34,935
Really. The treasure
should have been here.
651
00:38:35,003 --> 00:38:37,995
This is the most specifically
delineated clue of the lot.
652
00:38:38,073 --> 00:38:39,404
There can be no mistaking it.
653
00:38:39,474 --> 00:38:40,566
Unless it was a plant.
654
00:38:40,676 --> 00:38:42,007
It was many plants.
655
00:38:42,077 --> 00:38:43,476
Oh, that's not
what I'm talking about.
656
00:38:43,545 --> 00:38:45,103
Then, what, pray tell,
are you talking about?
657
00:38:45,180 --> 00:38:47,944
Doc, what did those cops who
guarded the banyan tree look like?
658
00:38:48,016 --> 00:38:49,881
One was blonde, baby-faced.
659
00:38:49,951 --> 00:38:52,579
The other was a little taller
with a pencil-thin mustache
660
00:38:52,654 --> 00:38:54,588
Iike Boston Blackie?
Remember him?
661
00:38:54,690 --> 00:38:55,679
No.
662
00:38:55,757 --> 00:38:57,418
But I bet you
Amy Griswald does.
663
00:38:57,492 --> 00:38:59,426
Magnum, as usual,
you're not making any sense.
664
00:38:59,494 --> 00:39:01,018
Oh, yes, I am.
665
00:39:01,096 --> 00:39:04,964
Look, you take those mystery
intruders in Amy's motel room,
666
00:39:05,033 --> 00:39:07,467
you add a couple of phony cops
with a can of paint,
667
00:39:07,536 --> 00:39:09,527
and a mysterious phone call
from Channel 8
668
00:39:09,604 --> 00:39:12,095
and you're gonna come up
with a couple of guys
669
00:39:12,174 --> 00:39:14,938
named Doug Fenwick
and Terry Dobbs
670
00:39:15,010 --> 00:39:19,037
in collusion with Ms. Mount Kisco.
I mean, don't you see?
671
00:39:19,114 --> 00:39:22,481
She was spoon-feeding them the clues as
she got them from the accounting firm.
672
00:39:22,551 --> 00:39:24,542
But after the manufactured
incident at the motel,
673
00:39:24,619 --> 00:39:26,849
well, they just panicked and
gave her the whole ball of wax.
674
00:39:26,922 --> 00:39:28,446
Which she handed to them.
675
00:39:28,523 --> 00:39:29,615
Right!
676
00:39:29,691 --> 00:39:31,989
That's a very interesting
theory, Mr. Magnum.
677
00:39:32,060 --> 00:39:33,049
Thank you.
678
00:39:33,161 --> 00:39:34,458
Yeah, and while they're off
stealing the treasure,
679
00:39:34,529 --> 00:39:37,157
we're sitting here
discussing it.
680
00:39:37,299 --> 00:39:39,563
So this bogus clue from the
skeleton is nothing more
681
00:39:39,634 --> 00:39:41,693
than a classic case
of misdirection.
682
00:39:41,770 --> 00:39:43,704
So what are we
gonna do about it?
683
00:39:43,772 --> 00:39:45,569
Good question. What?
684
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:47,505
Yes, Magnum. What?
685
00:39:50,712 --> 00:39:52,737
We go back to the book.
686
00:39:53,482 --> 00:39:56,781
The last chapter,
right where it gets real tragic.
687
00:39:57,986 --> 00:40:00,750
If James does not make it here, Maggie,
it will not be
688
00:40:00,822 --> 00:40:04,519
because he did not try,
nor does not love you.
689
00:40:04,593 --> 00:40:06,584
It is simply
the Lord's will.
690
00:40:06,661 --> 00:40:09,095
Was it the Lord's will
for him to steal the treasure?
691
00:40:09,164 --> 00:40:12,361
But that was Spanish treasure.
We are at war with them, Maggie.
692
00:40:12,434 --> 00:40:16,131
Captain James Dawkins
was merely doing his duty.
693
00:40:16,204 --> 00:40:17,796
Nothing more, nothing less.
694
00:40:17,939 --> 00:40:21,067
I'll die not having known what
it was like to be with him.
695
00:40:21,143 --> 00:40:24,579
To have him as my husband.
We never should have left England.
696
00:40:24,646 --> 00:40:28,138
Aye, I'll chug one to that, milady.
None of us should have left.
697
00:40:30,352 --> 00:40:31,683
James.
698
00:40:32,721 --> 00:40:34,279
Maggie.
699
00:40:35,757 --> 00:40:37,691
Maggie.
At last, we're together.
700
00:40:37,759 --> 00:40:39,886
Yes, yes.
701
00:40:39,961 --> 00:40:41,861
The four of us.
We must go quickly.
702
00:40:41,930 --> 00:40:44,125
Our only hope is to...
703
00:40:51,106 --> 00:40:53,233
My God, Maggie.
We must flee.
704
00:41:04,119 --> 00:41:05,711
Perhaps now
we can be together.
705
00:41:06,955 --> 00:41:09,219
Yes. Always.
706
00:41:19,501 --> 00:41:23,130
Wow, that's really tragic.
I should have read the book.
707
00:41:23,205 --> 00:41:25,332
And Robin Masters should have
done his research.
708
00:41:25,407 --> 00:41:28,865
Spain didn't enter the
Anglo-Franco war until 1762.
709
00:41:28,944 --> 00:41:32,505
Yes, but who cares? The point is
that they jumped off the cliff.
710
00:41:32,714 --> 00:41:34,614
Right, but listen
to this last paragraph.
711
00:41:34,716 --> 00:41:38,152
"And so the brave Captain Dawkins
and his true love, Maggie Brown,
712
00:41:38,220 --> 00:41:40,085
"plunged hand in hand
over the precipice
713
00:41:40,155 --> 00:41:43,056
"into the brutally churning
waters below.
714
00:41:43,191 --> 00:41:44,658
"And even though
they did indeed perish,
715
00:41:44,726 --> 00:41:46,455
"their love would live
on and on."
716
00:41:46,528 --> 00:41:48,052
What treacle.
717
00:41:48,864 --> 00:41:49,990
I kind of liked it.
718
00:41:50,065 --> 00:41:51,225
That's not the point.
719
00:41:51,299 --> 00:41:52,994
My dear, what is the point?
720
00:41:53,068 --> 00:41:56,663
The point is, there are no
churning fresh waters on Oahu.
721
00:41:56,771 --> 00:41:57,760
Exactly.
722
00:41:57,839 --> 00:41:59,033
But this is fiction.
723
00:41:59,107 --> 00:42:00,699
Yeah, but the scouting trip
I took Robin on
724
00:42:00,775 --> 00:42:02,367
before he wrote the book
wasn't.
725
00:42:02,444 --> 00:42:04,139
He just used
a little literary license.
726
00:42:04,212 --> 00:42:06,237
I know exactly
where they are.
727
00:42:44,853 --> 00:42:46,718
I know
what you're thinking.
728
00:42:46,788 --> 00:42:50,280
Given what happened earlier,
we were walking into a certain trap.
729
00:42:50,358 --> 00:42:51,757
I knew that.
730
00:42:51,826 --> 00:42:54,488
But what Amy and her cohorts
didn't know
731
00:42:54,563 --> 00:42:58,431
was what could happen when the
trappers became the trapees.
732
00:42:58,533 --> 00:43:00,763
Nobody move.
733
00:43:01,403 --> 00:43:02,927
I think.
734
00:43:03,805 --> 00:43:06,774
Don't try anything stupid,
guys.
735
00:43:14,883 --> 00:43:16,282
Jump.
736
00:43:19,421 --> 00:43:20,649
All of you.
737
00:43:20,755 --> 00:43:22,279
You can't be serious.
738
00:43:22,357 --> 00:43:23,346
Down there?
739
00:43:23,425 --> 00:43:24,824
In the water?
740
00:43:24,926 --> 00:43:26,791
In the water.
741
00:43:26,861 --> 00:43:31,230
Look, guys, I think there's room
for discussion here. Why don't we...
742
00:43:31,299 --> 00:43:33,665
No. No more talk.
We're through talking.
743
00:43:33,735 --> 00:43:36,568
Everybody over the side,
in the drink.
744
00:43:36,638 --> 00:43:39,698
Come on. I mean,
we're all rational human beings.
745
00:43:39,774 --> 00:43:41,799
I mean, why don't we try
and work something out?
746
00:43:41,876 --> 00:43:44,504
After all, there's more than
enough to go around here.
747
00:43:44,579 --> 00:43:46,774
Not necessarily.
748
00:43:48,283 --> 00:43:50,877
Everyone stay
exactly as you are.
749
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:56,022
The Great Treasure of Kalaniopu'u
Treasure Hunt is history.
750
00:44:00,862 --> 00:44:02,887
Time for the grand finale,
right now.
751
00:44:04,199 --> 00:44:07,635
You know, I don't think you're going
to be doing much book editing anymore.
752
00:44:07,702 --> 00:44:10,694
Unless you and these bozos plan
on doing some prison writing.
753
00:44:10,839 --> 00:44:13,034
There's something about
a $1 million payday
754
00:44:13,108 --> 00:44:16,077
that can make you lose
your zeal for working.
755
00:44:16,144 --> 00:44:19,204
Now do as we say.
We've got a plane to catch.
756
00:44:19,447 --> 00:44:20,778
I think you're bluffing.
757
00:44:22,917 --> 00:44:24,851
That's it, I think
a swim will be just fine.
758
00:44:25,053 --> 00:44:26,543
Stay right there, Rick.
759
00:44:52,747 --> 00:44:56,615
Get the rope!
Come on.
760
00:45:46,334 --> 00:45:48,165
I got it! I got it!
761
00:45:48,436 --> 00:45:50,563
Money, money, money, money.
762
00:46:13,328 --> 00:46:17,890
I'm sorry you lost your grandiflora
Queen Elizabeths over this.
763
00:46:17,966 --> 00:46:21,094
Thank you, Magnum.
The gesture is appreciated.
764
00:46:21,169 --> 00:46:23,000
But I suppose that when
one works,
765
00:46:23,071 --> 00:46:25,096
as we do, for someone
as eccentric
766
00:46:25,173 --> 00:46:27,937
and as anarchically impulsive
as Mr. Masters,
767
00:46:28,009 --> 00:46:29,704
we must expect
the unexpected
768
00:46:29,778 --> 00:46:33,305
and learn to live with the somewhat
absurd vagaries of his work.
769
00:46:33,381 --> 00:46:35,440
You're right, Higgins.
770
00:46:35,517 --> 00:46:40,011
I guess you and I'll be doing
this for a long time, too, huh?
771
00:46:40,088 --> 00:46:42,522
You know, together.
772
00:46:42,590 --> 00:46:46,287
Yes, as a matter of fact,
always.
59598
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