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1
00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:41,434
[DOORBELL RINGS]
2
00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:59,368
— Ah. Come in, Mr. Webber.
— Hi, Covington. What happened?
3
00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:01,537
I think we blew a fuse a minute ago.
4
00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:03,039
It's as though somebody died.
5
00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:04,332
[CHUCKLING]
6
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:06,167
— Come this way. Careful, now.
— Okay.
7
00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:09,420
— Is Mr. Fallon here?
— Oh, yes, he's here.
8
00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:11,506
Would you take this?
I'll check the fuse box.
9
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,716
— Yeah, sure, okay.
— Careful.
10
00:02:15,177 --> 00:02:16,511
Hugh?
11
00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,057
Hugh?
12
00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:27,063
GUESTS:
Surprise!
13
00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:30,775
[CHATTERING]
14
00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:36,239
HUGH:
Is it 41 or 42?
15
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,742
[PLAYING AND HUMMING]
16
00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:44,247
SAMANTHA: [SINGING]
— right in and chase the shepherds away
17
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:46,749
[WARBLING]
18
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:51,754
— right in and made my sunniest day
19
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:57,260
[SAMANTHA HUMMING]
20
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:05,726
GUESTS [HUMMING]:
Happy birthday to you
21
00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:09,146
Happy birthday to you
22
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:14,110
Happy birthday, dear George
23
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:20,241
Happy birthday to me
24
00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:21,701
[CHEERING]
25
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,328
I go down on my knees to you.
26
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,762
How do you feel about 42?
27
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:46,309
— 42 what?
— Mm.
28
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,978
You know. Years.
29
00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:53,691
It depends. How do you feel?
30
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:57,486
— I feel betrayed.
— Ohh.
31
00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,322
Really?
32
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:01,782
Well...
33
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,993
You know...
34
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,329
... they say...
35
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:08,372
... you know who "they" are...
36
00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:11,042
... that life begins at 40.
37
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,836
I spent the last...
38
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,380
... 2 years...
39
00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:21,719
... realizing they'd been
lying in their teeth.
40
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:28,017
I don't know. I think the last 2 years
have been rather good.
41
00:04:28,185 --> 00:04:30,144
That's because you're 38.
42
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:32,438
— Keep your voice down.
— Ohh.
43
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,859
— Goodnight, George.
GEORGE: Mm.
44
00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:39,111
SHEILA: Good night, Sam.
— Night, Sheila.
45
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,947
Night, Sheil.
46
00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:46,827
Sam...
47
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:50,373
... I want you to promise me something.
48
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,084
[IN WHEEZY VOICE]
Never!
49
00:04:55,462 --> 00:05:00,132
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Never throw me
a surprise party again.
50
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:07,932
— You're welcome.
— Oh, you know what I mean.
51
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,768
I'm going to fill out my night.
52
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:20,111
Could I have some more white wine,
Bacchus, my dear?
53
00:05:20,570 --> 00:05:22,405
How you feeling, birthday boy?
54
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,032
Oh. Invalided.
55
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:27,284
You mean invalid?
56
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,996
I'm — Well, that, too...
57
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:34,291
... but I feel basically invalided,
like an invalid.
58
00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:39,463
Remember what they say, George.
After 40, it's all patch, patch, patch.
59
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:41,090
Ugh. I'm going home.
60
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:44,760
— We're working here in the morning.
— Oh, goody, goody.
61
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,153
MAN: Hey, hi.
WOMAN: Hi.
62
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:04,030
— How you doing?
— It's good to see you.
63
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,197
— How's the water?
— Great.
64
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,117
[PLAYING PIANO]
65
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:18,711
Oh. Thanks, Covington. Thanks.
66
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,506
[GEORGE HUMMING]
67
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:25,301
GEORGE [SINGING]:
Happily
68
00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:31,057
Oh, baby, won't you and me
69
00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:33,434
We had it made
70
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,147
Here, try this.
71
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:42,943
Put this in front of
"don't call it love."
72
00:06:43,153 --> 00:06:45,446
— Oh, in front.
— Right. Try it.
73
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,823
[SINGING]
If they ask you
74
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:51,160
You can say that
We ended happily
75
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:52,745
— And then have —
— Right.
76
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:55,247
But don't call it love
77
00:06:55,499 --> 00:06:57,917
When you're talking to me
78
00:06:58,210 --> 00:06:59,210
Great.
79
00:06:59,503 --> 00:07:01,087
If they ask you
80
00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:05,174
You can say that
We ended happily
81
00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:08,010
But don't call it love
82
00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:11,472
When you're talking to me
83
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,516
— Great. Yeah.
— Got it?
84
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:19,021
[SCATS]
85
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,575
— I'm going home.
— Right.
86
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,577
How's Sam?
87
00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:36,205
Oh. Sam's great.
88
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,249
Sam's mostly always great.
89
00:07:38,416 --> 00:07:39,875
Can I have my jacket, please?
90
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:43,045
That sounds mostly intellectual,
not emotional.
91
00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:44,713
I guess so.
92
00:07:45,549 --> 00:07:48,592
I guess she'd be happier
if things were more emotional.
93
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:51,679
— I guess so would you.
— Ho-ho-ho.
94
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:54,140
For a man who's
never been analyzed —
95
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,892
I'd analyze you better
than that expensive shrink.
96
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,311
But you'd come out gay
and I couldn't do that to Sam.
97
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,564
— Here you go.
— Thanks.
98
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:06,068
— I'll give her your love.
— No. Give her yours.
99
00:08:25,589 --> 00:08:27,006
[MUSIC PLAYING]
100
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:38,934
SAMANTHA [SINGING OVER RADIO]:
He's no more than a man
101
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:46,442
Nothing special that you'd run to see
102
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:52,364
He's a child to be sure
At times insecure
103
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:57,578
But he pleases me
104
00:08:58,121 --> 00:09:02,583
For when I'm in his arms
105
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:08,672
And the last little star slowly dies
106
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:12,009
I'm enchanted to be
107
00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:17,348
The me that I see in his eyes
108
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:29,109
He's a man, nothing more
109
00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:36,492
Sort of clumsy and absent of mind
110
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:43,123
Not the kind of a beau
I dreamed long ago
111
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:47,670
That I would find
112
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:52,758
He's my lover, my friend
113
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:59,390
What more could I ask him to be?
114
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:02,935
So in our little plot
115
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:08,524
The mystery is what he sees in me
116
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:16,365
Why is it I never doubt him
117
00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:21,745
When I've known all along
118
00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,707
Now and then
119
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:31,880
The very best of men must roam
120
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:39,388
Sure, I get lonely without him
121
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:44,476
But a man, right or wrong
122
00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:48,063
The more you bind him
123
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:54,361
The less you find him home
124
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:58,991
He's no more than a man
125
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:07,249
Just a weaver of wishes and dreams
126
00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:12,671
Very shy, insecure
127
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:14,923
He's a child —
128
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,261
Oh, shit!
129
00:11:31,232 --> 00:11:32,524
— Hi.
— Hi.
130
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,401
— Are you hurt?
— No.
131
00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,278
Would you mind stepping out?
132
00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,656
[CROWD LAUGHS]
133
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,119
— Do you have a license?
— Yeah.
134
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:53,796
Thank you.
135
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,091
Did you know
your license had expired?
136
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,385
— What?
— July 26.
137
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,303
Oh, no!
138
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,056
Yeah. Uh...
139
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,892
Do you have a registration?
140
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,978
— For the car.
— Um...
141
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,106
Yeah, sure.
142
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:16,568
[WAGNER'S "BRIDAL CHORUS"
PLAYING]
143
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:47,349
Expired license, no registration...
144
00:12:48,393 --> 00:12:50,769
... and reckless driving.
145
00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:57,401
I think you'll need a lawyer to help you
with this one, Mr. Webber.
146
00:12:57,569 --> 00:12:58,902
Yeah.
147
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:05,617
— See if you can get this thing started.
— Yeah. Thank you.
148
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,081
[CAR ENGINE STARTS]
149
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:20,841
[CAR SPUTTERS AND RATTLES]
150
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:27,890
OFFICER:
Go on, move it!
151
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:46,408
Marriage is a sacred commitment...
152
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:50,954
... designed on earth,
sanctified in heaven.
153
00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:06,386
Consider these two rings.
154
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:07,930
Perfect circles...
155
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,599
... without beginning, without end...
156
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:14,102
... signifying God's eternal love
and devotion.
157
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,646
[DOOR CREAKS AND SHUTS]
158
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:18,690
Where would we be without God's love?
159
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:22,778
One of the most glorious
of God's institutions...
160
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:25,656
... is the institution of marriage.
161
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:30,202
A union of two souls
swearing allegiance...
162
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:34,706
... and promising in God's name
to obey one another...
163
00:14:34,958 --> 00:14:36,792
... until death do them part.
164
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:38,961
In today's world...
165
00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:42,798
... it does well to consider
such a commitment.
166
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:46,802
For in the final analysis,
on the day of reckoning...
167
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,471
... we shall all be held to account.
168
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:53,976
The time has come
for David and Jenny...
169
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:57,145
... to make this commitment
to one another.
170
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,648
Do you, David, take Jennifer...
171
00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,692
... as your lawful wedded wife...
172
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,735
... to have and to hold...
173
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:06,154
... in sickness and in health...
174
00:15:06,531 --> 00:15:09,074
... from this day forward
till death do you part?
175
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:10,826
[GEORGE YELLS]
176
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:14,746
GEORGE:
Ahh! Shit!
177
00:15:33,558 --> 00:15:37,352
[GEORGE PLAYING PIANO
AND HUMMING]
178
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,118
Hello!
179
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:57,539
SAMANTHA:
Hi.
180
00:15:58,041 --> 00:16:00,208
— Whose car?
— What?
181
00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,419
— Whose car?
— It's a loaner.
182
00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:05,422
— Jesus, George!
— Don't look.
183
00:16:05,715 --> 00:16:07,716
What have you done
to your nose?
184
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:09,760
A bee flew in the car.
185
00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:12,220
My God! You're lucky
you didn't have a wreck.
186
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:15,265
— I did have a wreck. I hit a police car.
— A police car?
187
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:19,144
Yes. And not just a police car.
A Beverly Hills police car.
188
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:22,898
— My God. Does it hurt?
— You bet your knickers it hurts.
189
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:25,067
Have you taken anything for it?
190
00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:28,820
Four of your birth control pills.
I hope that's all right.
191
00:16:29,072 --> 00:16:31,406
Try an antihistamine.
192
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,743
I don't like those.
They make me pregnant.
193
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:36,912
SAMANTHA:
I'll start dinner.
194
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,747
GEORGE:
Thank God for that.
195
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,929
Okay, what's up?
196
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,474
What do you mean?
197
00:16:57,975 --> 00:17:00,602
I've been getting
strange vibrations.
198
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,692
Probably just a temporary...
199
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:09,986
... malfunction of my
biorhythms, dear.
200
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,488
Maybe you are allergic.
201
00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:14,616
That bee sting's awfully close
to your frontal lobes.
202
00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:17,661
Sit down. You'll just
screw things up in the kitchen.
203
00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:19,996
— Go play the piano.
— I want to do my share.
204
00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:24,084
— You shall, darling. Later.
— Ohh. Yeah!
205
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:28,338
[POP MUSIC PLAYING]
206
00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:10,464
[SCOFFS]
207
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,507
Unbelievable.
208
00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,686
Un-fucking-believable.
209
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:42,537
— Does that guy have a telescope too?
— Yeah.
210
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,957
GIRL: See anything interesting?
— Oh, yeah!
211
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:49,503
Hi, Sam!
212
00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:53,006
Shit! She did it again.
213
00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:54,549
MAN [ON TV]:
The latest hike in OPEC oil —
214
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:57,636
That son of a bitch
has a bigger telescope than we have.
215
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,095
Not "we" have, "you" have.
216
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:03,058
I don't peep into somebody
else's windows to get my jollies.
217
00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:05,227
You and your friend
are dirty old men.
218
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:06,686
He's not my friend.
219
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:09,064
He should be.
You know him intimately now.
220
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:13,443
I don't watch him, I watch his broads.
He's got a hell of a stable.
221
00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:15,570
He must be good in the sack.
222
00:19:15,738 --> 00:19:17,239
What's that got to do with it?
223
00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:20,450
Unless he has a new
remote control screwing device...
224
00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:22,828
... how can you keep
from watching him too?
225
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:25,080
I concentrate on the broads.
226
00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:27,958
— He's around, isn't he?
— Why are you so het up?
227
00:19:28,251 --> 00:19:31,419
You got the time or you want
to wait till after the late show?
228
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:32,921
[TV TURNS OFF]
229
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:36,967
First, I'm getting a little fed up...
230
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:41,471
... at sexually emancipated ladies
being referred to as "broads."
231
00:19:42,223 --> 00:19:43,723
Second...
232
00:19:43,891 --> 00:19:47,143
... I think a telescope aimed
at anything other than stars...
233
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:51,815
... is an invasion of privacy and
qualifies the voyeur as a peeping Tom.
234
00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:54,359
And there's a very good law
against that.
235
00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:57,612
Third, the first two
wouldn't bother me a bit...
236
00:19:57,822 --> 00:20:00,282
... if you'd stop watching
so much television...
237
00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:02,784
... and pay attention
to your bedroom guests.
238
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,953
This guest, in particular.
239
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:08,915
Now, you want to argue
or you want to make love?
240
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,294
Define "broad."
241
00:20:14,839 --> 00:20:17,799
— Your definition or mine?
— I know yours.
242
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:20,635
A girl who screws around a lot.
243
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,846
— A hooker.
— A hooker's a hooker.
244
00:20:23,014 --> 00:20:26,558
Their spreading their legs
doesn't make the terms interchangeable.
245
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,685
— What's the difference?
— A hooker sells it.
246
00:20:28,853 --> 00:20:31,980
So does a broad.
A hooker makes the price going in.
247
00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:36,151
Ahh. So by definition a broad
is less virtuous than a hooker.
248
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,988
As far as I'm concerned,
virtue has nothing to do with it.
249
00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:44,326
As far as you or any man is concerned,
virtue has everything to do with it.
250
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:46,953
Listen, I just said "broad."
251
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:49,706
You applied a disparaging connotation
to the term.
252
00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:52,042
Come on. Are you trying to tell me...
253
00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:54,836
... that "broad" is not a term
used by men...
254
00:20:55,087 --> 00:21:00,175
— ...to describe women disparagingly?
— I'm just saying I didn't use it that way.
255
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:04,888
— Would you call me a broad?
— That depends.
256
00:21:05,056 --> 00:21:07,724
On whether you watched me
through a telescope...
257
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:10,685
... while I fooled around
with your degenerate neighbor.
258
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,103
Okay, you define it.
259
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:17,108
First and foremost, I don't equate
the term exclusively with sex...
260
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,861
... voyeurism or, quote,
"degeneracy."
261
00:21:20,029 --> 00:21:22,530
— You do that.
— So do you, but you won't admit it.
262
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:26,201
"Broad" to me is just another
colloquial term for "woman"!
263
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,453
Like "dame," "skirt"--
264
00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:30,246
— "Moll."
— "Crumpet." "Moll."
265
00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:33,458
I'm sure Dillinger never used
that word derogatorily.
266
00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:38,380
For authority on female aggrandizement
consult the FBI's 10 Most Wanted List.
267
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,048
Let's look it up.
268
00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:42,133
I want your definition, not Webster's.
269
00:21:42,385 --> 00:21:45,136
I'm going to get
Monsieur Roget's definition.
270
00:21:45,388 --> 00:21:46,721
You know my definition.
271
00:21:46,889 --> 00:21:50,100
"Broad" means woman. Not good,
not bad, unless so designated.
272
00:21:50,351 --> 00:21:52,602
You said a broad does it for money.
273
00:21:52,895 --> 00:21:56,606
You said a hooker sells it.
I said so does a broad.
274
00:21:56,899 --> 00:21:59,943
If a broad is a woman,
then women screw for money?
275
00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:01,987
— Some women!
— Broads!
276
00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:07,575
Some broads do it for other things,
but in a way, they sell it!
277
00:22:08,077 --> 00:22:11,663
Here we are:
"Woman - dame, hen, petticoat."
278
00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:14,749
"Slang or derogatory. Jane, broad."
279
00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:18,420
Look. "Slang. Derogatory. Broad."
280
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:20,797
Okay? How about that, smartass?
281
00:22:22,383 --> 00:22:24,134
You want to look up "derogatory?"
282
00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:32,267
George...
283
00:22:35,521 --> 00:22:37,147
Don't be a shitheel.
284
00:22:38,816 --> 00:22:42,485
Whatever Monsieur Roget's
définition was...
285
00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:46,781
... I was not using the term
in a derogatory fashion!
286
00:22:47,533 --> 00:22:50,326
Some of my oldest and
dearest friends are broads!
287
00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:52,328
— Including your mother.
— You bet!
288
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:53,663
[SINGS]
I want a broad —
289
00:22:53,956 --> 00:22:58,668
My maternal grandmother was one
of the greatest broads that ever lived.
290
00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:01,796
They don't make "broads"
like that anymore.
291
00:23:02,423 --> 00:23:05,050
— You know what's wrong with you?
— Male chauvinist pig.
292
00:23:05,301 --> 00:23:06,426
Besides that.
293
00:23:06,635 --> 00:23:10,221
You're gutless. You're afraid to admit
you blew it, and lose like a man.
294
00:23:10,473 --> 00:23:12,640
I wouldn't mind losing
like a man...
295
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:16,144
... if you weren't so damned
determined to win like one!
296
00:23:17,688 --> 00:23:19,189
Oh, Christ.
297
00:23:25,821 --> 00:23:27,781
I've got an early call.
298
00:23:29,283 --> 00:23:31,159
Um... Care to translate that?
299
00:23:31,327 --> 00:23:34,079
Yup. It's getting late.
I think I'd better go.
300
00:23:38,501 --> 00:23:41,377
MAN [ON TV]:
From Hollywood, The Tonight Show...
301
00:23:41,545 --> 00:23:43,046
... starring Johnny Carson.
302
00:23:43,214 --> 00:23:45,381
This is Ed McMahon,
along with Doc Severinsen...
303
00:23:45,549 --> 00:23:47,509
... and the NBC Orchestra,
inviting you...
304
00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:50,637
... to join Johnny and his guest
Cloris Leachman.
305
00:23:50,805 --> 00:23:54,349
From the Metropolitan Opera company,
Judith Blegen...
306
00:23:55,434 --> 00:23:57,519
I thought we were
going to make love.
307
00:23:57,728 --> 00:24:00,522
It'll cost you 50 bucks and an apology.
308
00:24:01,232 --> 00:24:04,484
Here's Johnny!
309
00:24:24,380 --> 00:24:26,297
[CAR ENGINE STARTS]
310
00:24:30,261 --> 00:24:31,719
GEORGE:
Sam!
311
00:24:33,556 --> 00:24:35,807
[TIRES SCREECH]
312
00:24:41,564 --> 00:24:43,231
Oh, damn!
313
00:24:47,778 --> 00:24:49,571
Oh, bollocks!
314
00:24:58,956 --> 00:25:00,415
Ow.
315
00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:02,750
[MUSIC PLAYING]
316
00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:07,964
God.
317
00:25:29,111 --> 00:25:30,737
Oh, God.
318
00:25:36,118 --> 00:25:38,786
[SINGING]
I give my heart
319
00:25:38,954 --> 00:25:40,371
[PIANO PLAYING]
320
00:25:40,623 --> 00:25:43,374
Just to one man
321
00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:45,960
Loving —
322
00:25:46,295 --> 00:25:47,962
I can't hear you, Fraser.
323
00:25:48,130 --> 00:25:49,964
[PIANO PLAYING
GROWS LOUDER]
324
00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:53,676
This too I swear
325
00:25:54,470 --> 00:25:57,305
While I am there
326
00:25:58,140 --> 00:26:00,099
— It's too soon.
— Keep going.
327
00:26:00,309 --> 00:26:03,019
Didn't we have more tables
in San Francisco?
328
00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:05,313
More tables, you know. Never mind.
329
00:26:06,357 --> 00:26:10,360
I give my heart
330
00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:13,613
I know my man
331
00:26:14,323 --> 00:26:17,158
Hold it. You must spend
more time at the tables.
332
00:26:17,326 --> 00:26:19,494
Did we have more tables
in San Francisco?
333
00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:20,745
We did, but —
334
00:26:20,913 --> 00:26:23,915
— Do you mind if I make a phone call?
— Go ahead.
335
00:26:24,166 --> 00:26:25,875
Give everybody a 10, would you?
336
00:26:26,043 --> 00:26:28,836
JERRY:
Okay. Everybody take 10, please.
337
00:26:33,884 --> 00:26:35,510
Stage phone, please.
338
00:26:36,220 --> 00:26:37,387
Sorry, that line's busy.
339
00:26:40,307 --> 00:26:41,683
[BUSY SIGNAL]
340
00:26:43,060 --> 00:26:45,019
OPERATOR: Still busy.
— I'll hold.
341
00:26:46,021 --> 00:26:47,939
[DIALING]
342
00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:52,777
[BUSY SIGNAL]
343
00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:57,073
JERRY:
Okay, over here!
344
00:27:04,832 --> 00:27:05,873
Still busy.
345
00:27:07,751 --> 00:27:09,460
Okay, thank you.
346
00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:24,017
[PLAYING]
347
00:27:33,068 --> 00:27:35,611
Does he do anything except
swim and jog on the beach?
348
00:27:35,779 --> 00:27:37,238
Oh, yes.
349
00:27:37,573 --> 00:27:41,242
He makes me happy, so I let him
swim and jog on the beach.
350
00:27:41,785 --> 00:27:44,579
The more you do for him,
the more he rubs your nose in it.
351
00:27:45,456 --> 00:27:49,334
Speaking of noses, why don't you keep
yours out of my personal affairs?
352
00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:54,589
In return, I won't bring up that you've
acted like a spoiled child all morning.
353
00:27:56,592 --> 00:27:59,260
I'm going to the market.
Anybody want anything?
354
00:27:59,428 --> 00:28:01,095
No, but bring back the receipts.
355
00:28:01,263 --> 00:28:03,264
George thinks you
take advantage of me.
356
00:28:03,432 --> 00:28:07,769
Is that so?
Well, I suppose I do.
357
00:28:07,978 --> 00:28:09,729
But then, nobody's perfect.
358
00:28:09,938 --> 00:28:11,147
Oh, George is.
359
00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:13,191
What a drag.
360
00:28:14,985 --> 00:28:18,988
Hugh, sometimes you really are
a pain-in-the-ass fag.
361
00:28:20,824 --> 00:28:23,868
Coming from one of the great
Anglo-Saxon heterosexual...
362
00:28:24,078 --> 00:28:27,080
... bores of all time,
that's the ultimate compliment.
363
00:28:27,289 --> 00:28:30,666
You've brooded and sulked
around my house all morning...
364
00:28:30,876 --> 00:28:34,504
... without the good manners to explain
or apologize, and I'm fed up.
365
00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:37,507
So you know what I'll do?
I'll call it a day.
366
00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:41,094
I'll invite some company over
to soak up the strain.
367
00:28:41,345 --> 00:28:43,346
Some happy, conversational...
368
00:28:43,597 --> 00:28:46,224
... intellectually stimulating,
pleasant company.
369
00:28:46,975 --> 00:28:49,018
The Malibu chapter
of the Sugar Plum Fairies?
370
00:28:49,228 --> 00:28:53,231
As you don't qualify, you understand
why I don't ask you to stay.
371
00:28:53,482 --> 00:28:55,400
I couldn't. I forgot my tutu.
372
00:28:56,568 --> 00:28:58,569
Yeah, see you later, Butch.
373
00:29:15,504 --> 00:29:17,922
— I won't be long.
— Don't be.
374
00:29:18,674 --> 00:29:20,216
What does that mean?
375
00:29:20,384 --> 00:29:22,593
It means go to the store
and come back.
376
00:29:22,803 --> 00:29:25,388
Don't hang around
with your friends at the beach!
377
00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:26,931
Don't get heavy with me.
378
00:29:27,141 --> 00:29:29,225
I'll be back when I'm ready.
379
00:29:33,522 --> 00:29:36,732
What were your thoughts
at the moment of this fixation?
380
00:29:38,235 --> 00:29:42,780
That she was the most beautiful girl
I had ever seen.
381
00:29:44,158 --> 00:29:47,118
Uh, on a scale from 1 to 10?
382
00:29:48,954 --> 00:29:50,288
11.
383
00:29:50,456 --> 00:29:52,457
You said there was
no such thing as a 10.
384
00:29:52,916 --> 00:29:54,667
There's nothing unusual.
385
00:29:54,877 --> 00:29:56,836
I was sitting at the stop sign.
386
00:29:57,129 --> 00:29:59,130
I wasn't thinking anything special.
387
00:29:59,381 --> 00:30:01,841
Suddenly there she was.
And I reacted.
388
00:30:02,050 --> 00:30:05,344
I mean, I wasn't expecting
to see that vision.
389
00:30:06,013 --> 00:30:09,682
What about the young girls
on the beach? And Larry?
390
00:30:10,058 --> 00:30:11,517
I don't like...
391
00:30:15,063 --> 00:30:16,647
... middle age.
392
00:30:16,857 --> 00:30:20,485
I mean, it's not that complicated.
I'd just rather be 30.
393
00:30:20,736 --> 00:30:22,570
Or 20, even.
394
00:30:22,821 --> 00:30:26,908
God. If to make it, I had to
change places with Larry...
395
00:30:27,075 --> 00:30:29,035
... and a life of faggotry...
396
00:30:29,244 --> 00:30:32,246
... I'd sure as hell
give it consideration.
397
00:30:32,998 --> 00:30:34,832
You don't consider that significant?
398
00:30:35,876 --> 00:30:39,253
I'm just using an extreme example
to make a point.
399
00:30:39,755 --> 00:30:42,882
If you could, wouldn't you
change places with Larry?
400
00:30:43,926 --> 00:30:45,176
But I can't!
401
00:30:45,594 --> 00:30:47,762
Didn't you ever
play games like that?
402
00:30:48,055 --> 00:30:51,390
But not to the point
where I got all hung up with it.
403
00:30:52,059 --> 00:30:55,937
You're becoming obsessed
with the ugliness of old age.
404
00:30:56,188 --> 00:30:59,607
The fear of death.
The inevitability of it.
405
00:30:59,942 --> 00:31:02,610
You'd change places
with a homosexual to put it off.
406
00:31:02,903 --> 00:31:04,445
So what do you do?
407
00:31:04,738 --> 00:31:06,197
You play it safe.
408
00:31:06,448 --> 00:31:09,784
You get a fixation
on a beautiful young girl.
409
00:31:10,035 --> 00:31:12,620
A "vision," I think
was your description.
410
00:31:12,871 --> 00:31:16,290
And I suspect,
for your total vision...
411
00:31:16,959 --> 00:31:18,000
... a virgin.
412
00:31:23,131 --> 00:31:24,131
Yes?
413
00:31:24,299 --> 00:31:28,427
Um, excuse me, reverend,
I was just driving by your church...
414
00:31:28,595 --> 00:31:32,139
... and, uh, a thought struck me.
415
00:31:32,474 --> 00:31:34,267
If it wouldn't be an imposition...
416
00:31:34,476 --> 00:31:38,271
... and you could spare a few minutes,
I'd be eternally grateful.
417
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:39,480
By George!
418
00:31:39,648 --> 00:31:41,524
Aren't you George...?
419
00:31:42,818 --> 00:31:45,236
— Webber.
— Of course!
420
00:31:45,487 --> 00:31:46,904
George Webber!
421
00:31:47,239 --> 00:31:49,073
My goodness!
422
00:31:49,283 --> 00:31:51,158
Well, come on in, George!
423
00:31:51,326 --> 00:31:52,326
[LAUGHS]
424
00:31:52,494 --> 00:31:53,744
— Thank you.
— How wonderful!
425
00:31:53,996 --> 00:31:56,664
You know, George,
I'm a songwriter too.
426
00:32:00,669 --> 00:32:04,338
REVEREND [SINGING]:
When you are near
427
00:32:04,631 --> 00:32:07,758
Though we're under a cloud
428
00:32:08,135 --> 00:32:10,678
Why do I hear
429
00:32:10,971 --> 00:32:14,807
Rainbows that shine out loud
430
00:32:15,350 --> 00:32:17,852
Why is there music
431
00:32:18,270 --> 00:32:21,522
When I'm kissing your glove
432
00:32:22,107 --> 00:32:24,233
Could it be
433
00:32:24,568 --> 00:32:28,279
That I have an ear for love
434
00:32:28,947 --> 00:32:32,325
Why, when you smile
435
00:32:32,659 --> 00:32:34,327
Do those bells ding-a-ling
436
00:32:34,494 --> 00:32:35,536
[WHIMPERS]
437
00:32:36,121 --> 00:32:38,372
Turning my heart
438
00:32:38,874 --> 00:32:42,543
Into a thumping thing
439
00:32:43,003 --> 00:32:46,380
Glee clubs of moonbeams
440
00:32:46,673 --> 00:32:50,843
Sing your name in the blue
441
00:32:51,136 --> 00:32:55,139
When I hold you near
My love
442
00:32:55,682 --> 00:33:00,770
Look into my ear
My love
443
00:33:01,063 --> 00:33:04,732
You'll see that what I say I hear
444
00:33:05,150 --> 00:33:07,234
My love
445
00:33:07,653 --> 00:33:11,072
Is true
446
00:33:13,700 --> 00:33:14,992
Well?
447
00:33:16,495 --> 00:33:17,620
Well —
448
00:33:17,788 --> 00:33:20,206
Now, George, you must be
absolutely frank with me.
449
00:33:20,374 --> 00:33:22,875
Yes. Well, frankly, I...
450
00:33:23,919 --> 00:33:27,129
— I'm stunned.
— Do you think it's professional?
451
00:33:27,381 --> 00:33:30,049
I think it's amazing.
452
00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:32,760
You realize, I've loved music all my life.
453
00:33:33,011 --> 00:33:35,096
Excuse us, Mrs. Kissel.
454
00:33:35,347 --> 00:33:38,140
Loved it all my life.
Of course, I made a choice.
455
00:33:38,392 --> 00:33:41,435
I'm not dissatisfied.
I took the right road.
456
00:33:41,645 --> 00:33:44,188
— I think you did.
— But the music, you know.
457
00:33:44,439 --> 00:33:47,274
— Always there, right?
— Oh, yes, yes.
458
00:33:47,526 --> 00:33:50,444
Sometimes, though,
it gets to be almost too much.
459
00:33:50,696 --> 00:33:54,281
I feel like chucking everything,
and just write, write.
460
00:33:54,449 --> 00:33:58,661
Yes. Well, I think you should
stick with it, reverend.
461
00:33:58,912 --> 00:34:01,122
You really did like it.
462
00:34:01,498 --> 00:34:04,792
No. He that hath clean hands
and a pure heart...
463
00:34:05,043 --> 00:34:08,170
... who hath not lifted up
his soul unto vanity...
464
00:34:09,214 --> 00:34:12,091
Yes, yes. Quite.
465
00:34:12,592 --> 00:34:14,802
[KISSEL GROANING]
466
00:34:20,684 --> 00:34:24,270
All right,
Mrs. Kissel, we'll take care of it.
467
00:34:24,646 --> 00:34:26,605
— She's been with me for ages.
— Yes.
468
00:34:26,940 --> 00:34:30,568
It's all right.
You go on back to the kitchen now.
469
00:34:30,819 --> 00:34:32,319
No damage done.
470
00:34:34,656 --> 00:34:35,698
How old is she?
471
00:34:35,866 --> 00:34:38,701
I honestly don't know.
I don't think she does.
472
00:34:41,204 --> 00:34:42,663
[MRS. KISSEL FARTS]
473
00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:44,498
[WHIMPERS]
474
00:34:48,253 --> 00:34:51,338
Whenever Mrs. Kissel breaks wind,
we beat the dog.
475
00:34:51,757 --> 00:34:57,428
I mean, the whole depersonalized lifestyle
that puts down anything traditional...
476
00:34:57,596 --> 00:35:01,140
... and completely ignores many of our...
477
00:35:01,308 --> 00:35:03,601
... socially most fundamental institutions.
478
00:35:03,810 --> 00:35:05,478
Such as marriage, for instance.
479
00:35:05,687 --> 00:35:08,439
Right on, George. Heh-heh-heh.
480
00:35:08,732 --> 00:35:12,026
I think I'm fairly well
psychologically oriented.
481
00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:15,362
I've talked to psychologists,
psychiatrists...
482
00:35:15,614 --> 00:35:17,364
... welfare workers...
483
00:35:17,532 --> 00:35:20,493
But when I drove by your church
today, I thought, "God!
484
00:35:20,702 --> 00:35:21,994
Goodness...
485
00:35:22,454 --> 00:35:25,748
... who better than somebody
who truly represents...
486
00:35:25,957 --> 00:35:28,709
... the institution of marriage
and all it stands for?"
487
00:35:28,877 --> 00:35:30,628
I'd be more than happy to help.
488
00:35:30,879 --> 00:35:33,547
That's really marvelous.
489
00:35:34,174 --> 00:35:36,675
Well, for instance,
compared to, say, 5 or 10 —
490
00:35:36,885 --> 00:35:38,302
You may not believe it...
491
00:35:38,553 --> 00:35:41,055
... but just as many young people
are marrying today...
492
00:35:41,306 --> 00:35:42,848
— ...as they were 10 years ago.
— Really?
493
00:35:43,016 --> 00:35:44,391
Of course, there's a difference.
494
00:35:44,684 --> 00:35:48,187
It fits right in
with this depersonalized concept.
495
00:35:48,396 --> 00:35:52,900
So many don't seem able to relate
to the true meaning of the ceremony.
496
00:35:53,068 --> 00:35:57,404
Mm. Can you be more specific?
Have you married any young people lately?
497
00:35:57,572 --> 00:36:01,575
REVEREND: Yesterday I married
Jennifer Miles and David Hanley.
498
00:36:01,827 --> 00:36:04,912
Perhaps you might know
the bride's father, Dr. Miles.
499
00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:07,832
He's a very prominent
Beverly Hills dentist.
500
00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:09,708
GEORGE:
No. No.
501
00:36:13,797 --> 00:36:16,674
[NEIGHBOR’S MUSIC PLAYING]
502
00:36:33,066 --> 00:36:35,901
RECEPTIONIST: Theater.
— Stage phone, please.
503
00:36:36,319 --> 00:36:37,444
[PHONE RINGING]
504
00:36:37,612 --> 00:36:39,488
All I possess is
505
00:36:39,823 --> 00:36:42,533
Get the phone
506
00:36:45,287 --> 00:36:46,328
Hello?
507
00:36:46,496 --> 00:36:48,706
GEORGE: Samantha Taylor, please.
— She's busy.
508
00:36:48,874 --> 00:36:51,083
God, she's always busy.
509
00:36:51,668 --> 00:36:55,337
My name is George Webber. I'm trying
to get a message to her. Can I do that?
510
00:36:55,505 --> 00:36:58,757
— For Samantha Taylor? Who's calling?
— Right. George Webber.
511
00:36:59,467 --> 00:37:01,552
— Webber.
— Could you spell that?
512
00:37:01,720 --> 00:37:04,471
W-E-B-B-E-R.
513
00:37:04,639 --> 00:37:07,141
— Got it.
— Hello? Hello?
514
00:37:07,309 --> 00:37:09,435
— Yeah, yeah.
— Yeah. If you could just tell her —
515
00:37:09,603 --> 00:37:10,644
[PHONE CLICKS]
516
00:37:10,812 --> 00:37:13,898
Hello? Oh, dammit!
517
00:37:36,463 --> 00:37:38,339
Oh, God!
518
00:37:38,506 --> 00:37:40,007
You have all the — Ohh!
519
00:37:42,177 --> 00:37:43,344
[GROANS]
520
00:37:44,179 --> 00:37:45,387
[SCREAMS]
521
00:37:52,604 --> 00:37:56,523
Ahh! Shit! God!
522
00:37:57,984 --> 00:38:00,694
Dammit. Ow!
523
00:38:02,405 --> 00:38:04,365
GIRL:
Hey, I see him!
524
00:38:06,242 --> 00:38:08,035
What's he doing?
525
00:38:09,037 --> 00:38:11,372
[PHONE RINGING]
526
00:38:49,077 --> 00:38:50,577
Come on, George!
527
00:38:58,795 --> 00:39:01,588
[PANTING]
528
00:39:13,101 --> 00:39:14,977
[GROANS]
529
00:39:16,312 --> 00:39:18,897
— Oh!
— Hello?
530
00:39:19,232 --> 00:39:21,108
Hello!
531
00:39:25,905 --> 00:39:29,116
GEORGE: I didn't want to bother you
but I'm leaving town tomorrow.
532
00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:33,120
How long since you've had
your teeth checked?
533
00:39:34,205 --> 00:39:36,415
God, I don't know. Uh...
534
00:39:36,958 --> 00:39:39,460
My dentist is Dr. Shoup in New York.
Do you know him?
535
00:39:39,627 --> 00:39:42,421
MILES: No. Don't believe I do.
— Oh.
536
00:39:46,259 --> 00:39:47,843
Open, please.
537
00:39:50,013 --> 00:39:52,139
— Ahh!
— Shh.
538
00:39:54,350 --> 00:39:56,769
How long since you've seen Dr. Shoup?
539
00:39:56,978 --> 00:39:58,187
[MUMBLING]
Couple of years.
540
00:39:58,354 --> 00:40:00,939
— You've got six cavities.
— Tsk, tsk, tsk.
541
00:40:01,107 --> 00:40:02,858
— Two of them are pretty bad.
— Really.
542
00:40:03,151 --> 00:40:07,112
— Six cavities?
— This is the worst. See this shadow?
543
00:40:07,489 --> 00:40:10,407
That's the nerve.
Lucky if we can save this tooth.
544
00:40:10,575 --> 00:40:12,242
Oh. What?
545
00:40:12,869 --> 00:40:16,413
— Who are my next appointments?
— Mrs. Phillips and Mr. Rodinsky.
546
00:40:16,581 --> 00:40:20,167
MILES: Now open as wide
as you can, please. Wide. Wide.
547
00:40:20,794 --> 00:40:22,503
See if you can cancel them.
548
00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:23,712
[GEORGE GROANS]
549
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:27,299
And tell Janie that we may have
to work through the lunch hour.
550
00:40:30,678 --> 00:40:33,847
You have to do them all now?
Couldn't we just do the bad ones?
551
00:40:34,015 --> 00:40:38,769
Well, they're all bad. Two of them
really serious. But they're all bad.
552
00:40:38,978 --> 00:40:43,315
Look, I can cancel my vacation
for a few days —
553
00:40:43,525 --> 00:40:46,485
I'm afraid that wouldn't help very much.
554
00:40:46,778 --> 00:40:50,322
In an emergency,
I can shift things around a bit.
555
00:40:50,573 --> 00:40:53,492
But otherwise I'm booked solid
for the next month.
556
00:40:53,701 --> 00:40:56,286
No, I think under the circumstances...
557
00:40:56,496 --> 00:40:59,706
... better we just get it over with.
It won't be so bad.
558
00:40:59,916 --> 00:41:04,002
Then you can take your vacation,
and as far as your teeth are concerned...
559
00:41:04,170 --> 00:41:06,713
... you can relax and enjoy yourself.
560
00:41:08,424 --> 00:41:12,886
— Beginning to feel the Novocaine?
— Yeah. My lips are tingling.
561
00:41:16,516 --> 00:41:18,016
I enjoy your music.
562
00:41:19,102 --> 00:41:23,230
The last time I was in New York,
Mrs. Miles and I saw, uh...
563
00:41:23,940 --> 00:41:26,817
... Dream Boat!
That was your show, wasn't it?
564
00:41:26,985 --> 00:41:28,068
GEORGE: Uh.
NURSE: Ha-ha-ha!
565
00:41:28,236 --> 00:41:30,445
It was '67. '68.
566
00:41:30,738 --> 00:41:32,364
— '68.
— '68.
567
00:41:32,866 --> 00:41:35,742
That was a hell of a good show.
568
00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:38,120
— That hurt?
— Not really.
569
00:41:43,042 --> 00:41:45,586
MILES: Where are you going
on your vacation?
570
00:41:46,754 --> 00:41:47,921
The Virgin Islands.
571
00:41:49,090 --> 00:41:51,258
Mrs. Miles and I always go to Mexico.
572
00:41:51,426 --> 00:41:53,719
— Oh.
— Las Hadas.
573
00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:56,597
Lava tus dientes.
574
00:41:56,848 --> 00:42:00,017
That's Spanish for "brush your teeth."
575
00:42:00,435 --> 00:42:02,436
It's really terrific.
576
00:42:02,729 --> 00:42:05,772
My daughter Jenny's there now
on her honeymoon.
577
00:42:09,444 --> 00:42:11,403
[GRINDING]
578
00:42:26,294 --> 00:42:28,295
— How are you?
— [MUMBLING] Not very well.
579
00:42:28,630 --> 00:42:29,630
Pardon?
580
00:42:29,797 --> 00:42:32,299
[SPEAKING INCOHERENTLY]
581
00:42:32,967 --> 00:42:35,093
— This'll take a few minutes.
— Okay.
582
00:42:35,762 --> 00:42:37,304
— Sir?
— Forget it.
583
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:38,972
Sure.
584
00:42:53,905 --> 00:42:55,197
Hi, Mr. Webber.
585
00:42:55,990 --> 00:42:57,324
[SPEAKING INCOHERENTLY]
586
00:42:57,492 --> 00:42:58,867
Huh?
587
00:42:59,118 --> 00:43:01,453
[MUMBLING]
Cup of coffee. Black coffee.
588
00:43:02,288 --> 00:43:04,915
— Oh, coffee.
— Coffee.
589
00:43:06,167 --> 00:43:07,918
That's all right.
590
00:43:29,857 --> 00:43:31,441
Thank you.
591
00:43:52,171 --> 00:43:53,672
Oh, Christ.
592
00:43:53,881 --> 00:43:56,091
[PHONE RINGING]
593
00:44:02,432 --> 00:44:03,557
[MUMBLING]
Hello?
594
00:44:05,101 --> 00:44:07,978
— Hello?
— Who is this?
595
00:44:09,230 --> 00:44:11,481
[GEORGE SPEAKS INCOHERENTLY]
596
00:44:12,066 --> 00:44:14,192
Is this 275-0817?
597
00:44:14,485 --> 00:44:16,236
[MUMBLING]
Yeah, yeah, it's George.
598
00:44:20,450 --> 00:44:21,825
Ohh!
599
00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:32,044
[PHONE RINGS]
600
00:44:32,587 --> 00:44:33,587
Hello?
601
00:44:47,101 --> 00:44:48,894
[BUSY SIGNAL]
602
00:45:06,579 --> 00:45:07,621
WOMAN:
Operator.
603
00:45:07,789 --> 00:45:10,624
Operator, I'm having trouble
reaching 275-0817.
604
00:45:10,833 --> 00:45:12,042
Could you try it, please?
605
00:45:12,460 --> 00:45:14,086
Ohh.
606
00:45:23,137 --> 00:45:25,389
[PHONE RINGS]
607
00:45:26,057 --> 00:45:27,099
Hello?
608
00:45:28,309 --> 00:45:29,643
Hello?
609
00:45:36,359 --> 00:45:39,236
WOMAN: Operator.
— Would you get me the police?
610
00:45:51,124 --> 00:45:52,165
— Josh?
— Yeah?
611
00:45:52,375 --> 00:45:55,085
— I'm going out. I'll be back.
— Okay.
612
00:45:55,461 --> 00:45:58,004
— Do your homework.
— I've already done it!
613
00:45:59,173 --> 00:46:02,134
[NEIGHBOR'S MUSIC PLAYS]
614
00:46:31,372 --> 00:46:34,166
[GEORGE CHUCKLING
AND GROANING]
615
00:46:37,378 --> 00:46:39,629
Oh, what?
616
00:46:45,887 --> 00:46:48,680
[SPEAKING INCOHERENTLY]
617
00:47:01,486 --> 00:47:04,571
[MUMBLING] What is this?
What's wrong? What's wrong?
618
00:47:05,072 --> 00:47:07,491
— Pardon?
— What's wrong? What are you doing here?
619
00:47:07,783 --> 00:47:10,285
We got a call from a Miss Taylor.
620
00:47:10,578 --> 00:47:13,371
She spoke to this house.
A strange man answered.
621
00:47:15,082 --> 00:47:17,417
He spoke gibberish,
made obscene sounds.
622
00:47:17,585 --> 00:47:19,836
[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
623
00:47:22,381 --> 00:47:24,758
She was afraid Mr. Webber,
the tenant...
624
00:47:24,967 --> 00:47:27,594
— That's me!
— ...met with foul play.
625
00:47:36,103 --> 00:47:38,271
The prescription's for G. Webber.
626
00:47:39,941 --> 00:47:41,316
Do you know Mr. Webber?
627
00:47:45,613 --> 00:47:47,739
He wants to write something.
628
00:48:10,304 --> 00:48:13,348
"My name is George Webber.
629
00:48:14,809 --> 00:48:18,144
I just came from the dentist
where I had 6 cavities filled.
630
00:48:18,437 --> 00:48:20,730
I have identification in the house."
631
00:48:21,107 --> 00:48:22,357
Six?
632
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:27,612
You better take it easy.
Pain pills and alcohol don't mix.
633
00:48:27,822 --> 00:48:29,364
You could've fooled me.
634
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:41,501
[HUMMING]
635
00:48:53,764 --> 00:48:56,182
[MUSIC PLAYING]
636
00:49:18,914 --> 00:49:21,499
[SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
637
00:49:22,251 --> 00:49:25,378
Oh, George! With the —
638
00:49:26,422 --> 00:49:28,006
Come in. Step right in.
639
00:49:31,093 --> 00:49:32,719
George?
640
00:49:35,890 --> 00:49:37,515
George?
641
00:49:40,186 --> 00:49:42,187
[CHATTERING]
642
00:49:42,813 --> 00:49:45,106
NEIGHBOR:
You go for it, George!
643
00:49:45,858 --> 00:49:48,234
— Are you going for it?
— I'm going for it.
644
00:49:48,402 --> 00:49:50,528
Oh, God! Anything.
645
00:50:05,419 --> 00:50:06,920
GEORGE:
I want to say something.
646
00:50:07,254 --> 00:50:10,465
— I have a telescope.
— You do?
647
00:50:11,842 --> 00:50:14,469
I look at him every day
and he looks at me.
648
00:50:15,596 --> 00:50:17,764
I don't think I've been
so happy for years.
649
00:50:17,932 --> 00:50:18,932
[GIRLS LAUGH]
650
00:50:19,100 --> 00:50:21,351
Come have a walk with me.
651
00:50:36,992 --> 00:50:42,288
You miserable little son of a bitch!
652
00:51:05,229 --> 00:51:06,855
[TIRES SCREECH]
653
00:51:38,721 --> 00:51:40,513
[PHONE RINGING]
654
00:51:44,518 --> 00:51:46,311
— Yup?
— Sam?
655
00:51:46,687 --> 00:51:48,104
Yep!
656
00:51:49,190 --> 00:51:50,565
Oh!
657
00:51:53,986 --> 00:51:56,738
Oh, fuck! Uh.
658
00:52:14,006 --> 00:52:15,882
[PHONE RINGS]
659
00:52:17,927 --> 00:52:18,968
Hello?
660
00:53:01,053 --> 00:53:02,095
Aeromexico.
661
00:53:49,810 --> 00:53:51,561
[THUNDER CRASHES]
662
00:53:52,605 --> 00:53:54,022
Oh!
663
00:54:10,789 --> 00:54:12,290
Damn you, George!
664
00:54:56,710 --> 00:54:59,128
[GROANS]
665
00:55:21,902 --> 00:55:23,611
GEORGE:
Ow!
666
00:55:58,981 --> 00:56:02,316
— George Webber.
— Would you please sign in?
667
00:56:15,622 --> 00:56:17,123
Mr. Webber?
668
00:56:18,125 --> 00:56:19,584
Buenos dias.
669
00:56:19,793 --> 00:56:21,919
I'm Vicente, the assistant manager.
670
00:56:22,129 --> 00:56:23,963
Welcome to Las Hadas.
671
00:56:27,009 --> 00:56:28,551
GEORGE:
Oh.
672
00:56:31,638 --> 00:56:32,680
Is that for me?
673
00:56:32,848 --> 00:56:36,392
VICENTE: It's a custom here
at Las Hadas. It'll keep you cool.
674
00:56:37,478 --> 00:56:41,105
— Can I drink on the way to the room?
VICENTE: Of course.
675
00:56:48,280 --> 00:56:50,448
VICENTE:
We've got a very beautiful place here.
676
00:56:52,201 --> 00:56:53,868
GEORGE:
Look out!
677
00:56:56,705 --> 00:56:57,872
[GEORGE SCREAMS]
678
00:56:59,833 --> 00:57:04,337
I hope the maid has made up
the room. Good, she did.
679
00:57:04,505 --> 00:57:05,797
Mr. Webber?
680
00:57:06,840 --> 00:57:08,508
— Mr. Webber.
— Huh?
681
00:57:08,675 --> 00:57:10,384
Right this way.
682
00:57:10,844 --> 00:57:12,637
Mr. Webber, right this way.
683
00:57:15,099 --> 00:57:18,267
— You must have had a rough flight.
— Huh?
684
00:57:18,811 --> 00:57:21,437
— I said you must have had a rough flight.
— Nyeh.
685
00:57:21,855 --> 00:57:23,689
These rooms are well-insulated.
686
00:57:23,899 --> 00:57:26,025
You'll have peace and quiet.
687
00:57:26,276 --> 00:57:27,735
And also, as I said...
688
00:57:28,987 --> 00:57:31,572
... the view from the balcony
is magnificent.
689
00:57:38,539 --> 00:57:40,331
Mr. Webber?
690
00:57:40,958 --> 00:57:41,999
Mr. Webber?
691
00:58:09,945 --> 00:58:11,571
— Hugh?
— Hm?
692
00:58:12,823 --> 00:58:16,742
What is it about that miserable little
son of a bitch that makes me care?
693
00:58:16,910 --> 00:58:17,910
[HUGH CHUCKLES]
694
00:58:18,078 --> 00:58:19,829
— Well —
— I don't want to, you know.
695
00:58:20,038 --> 00:58:24,375
He's more trouble than any man
I've ever known, including my ex-husband.
696
00:58:25,085 --> 00:58:28,629
Apart from being uncommonly bright,
wonderfully witty...
697
00:58:29,214 --> 00:58:31,716
... generous, occasionally lovable
and a genius...
698
00:58:31,967 --> 00:58:34,218
... I can't think of a single thing.
699
00:58:35,179 --> 00:58:37,638
— How about unnaturally belligerent?
— Oh, yes.
700
00:58:38,307 --> 00:58:41,058
— Exhaustingly childish?
— Uh-huh. Yeah.
701
00:58:42,060 --> 00:58:43,728
We've nothing in common.
702
00:58:43,937 --> 00:58:45,855
We're the original odd couple.
703
00:58:47,024 --> 00:58:48,900
And when he really gets me going...
704
00:58:49,109 --> 00:58:52,570
... I can't ask him to step outside
because he's too small.
705
00:58:55,949 --> 00:58:57,575
I hope he's gone for good.
706
00:58:58,619 --> 00:58:59,619
Well, he hasn't.
707
00:59:00,037 --> 00:59:02,371
— He's going through male menopause.
— Come on.
708
00:59:02,539 --> 00:59:05,625
All right.
Ladies have a biological edge...
709
00:59:05,834 --> 00:59:10,296
... but most males over 40 make up for it
in the emotional department.
710
00:59:10,547 --> 00:59:12,340
He's gone. I don't know where he is.
711
00:59:12,591 --> 00:59:15,968
Nothing has happened to him.
Nothing sinister, that is.
712
00:59:16,136 --> 00:59:19,764
It'll take him a while to find out
he's a certified imbecile.
713
00:59:19,973 --> 00:59:24,143
He'll come home, tail between his legs
and settle down for good.
714
00:59:24,811 --> 00:59:27,104
Lest ye judge harshly, remember...
715
00:59:27,314 --> 00:59:30,149
— Nobody's perfect.
— Thank God.
716
00:59:31,818 --> 00:59:36,155
Anyway, I'd still like to punch him
right in the mouth.
717
00:59:36,823 --> 00:59:38,741
[PLAYING]
718
01:00:12,567 --> 01:00:15,987
[PIANO PLAYING & CHATTERING]
719
01:00:27,040 --> 01:00:28,666
Buenos dias.
720
01:00:30,544 --> 01:00:32,712
A very good evening to you.
721
01:00:32,879 --> 01:00:36,340
Oh. I'd like strong black coffee
and some amphetamines.
722
01:00:36,883 --> 01:00:39,010
Might I suggest the dining room?
723
01:00:39,219 --> 01:00:40,886
And the local pusher.
724
01:00:41,138 --> 01:00:43,222
In whatever order you
consider appropriate.
725
01:00:43,390 --> 01:00:45,224
Yes, yes.
726
01:00:45,767 --> 01:00:47,268
I'll settle for a brandy.
727
01:00:47,519 --> 01:00:49,061
— Thanks.
— Certainly.
728
01:01:00,907 --> 01:01:02,158
Cheers.
729
01:01:11,877 --> 01:01:14,295
I think, one more time, basically.
730
01:01:16,465 --> 01:01:18,049
If you still want coffee —
731
01:01:18,258 --> 01:01:20,593
I've survived the crisis, thank you.
732
01:01:20,802 --> 01:01:23,262
— Is there a phone I can use?
— Sure.
733
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:27,767
— Dial "9."
— Mm.
734
01:01:28,602 --> 01:01:30,102
Thank you.
735
01:01:31,605 --> 01:01:33,606
WOMAN [OVER PHONE]: Operator.
— Mm.
736
01:01:34,441 --> 01:01:37,109
Hello, this is Mr. George Webber.
737
01:01:37,319 --> 01:01:38,611
I'm in room...
738
01:01:39,279 --> 01:01:42,198
I don't know what room I'm in.
Do you know?
739
01:01:42,449 --> 01:01:45,451
— Yes. 104.
— Thank God. Thank you.
740
01:01:46,411 --> 01:01:48,579
Could you do me a favor and get me...
741
01:01:48,789 --> 01:01:50,915
... area code 213...
742
01:01:51,541 --> 01:01:55,628
... 655-2264?
743
01:01:56,463 --> 01:01:57,838
Miss Samantha Taylor.
744
01:01:58,006 --> 01:02:01,008
— Miss Samantha Taylor?
— Right. Thank you.
745
01:02:03,345 --> 01:02:04,637
[SIGHS]
746
01:02:07,599 --> 01:02:10,810
By what name are you known, sir?
747
01:02:11,228 --> 01:02:13,312
I'm known by the name of "Donald."
748
01:02:13,647 --> 01:02:16,732
"Don," to my friends
and paying customers.
749
01:02:19,486 --> 01:02:20,945
In that case...
750
01:02:21,363 --> 01:02:22,613
... another double, Don.
751
01:02:23,281 --> 01:02:25,366
"Double Don."
That'll be hard to say...
752
01:02:25,659 --> 01:02:27,493
... by the shank of the evening.
753
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:29,328
Better make that a single.
754
01:02:33,959 --> 01:02:36,168
[PHONE RINGS]
755
01:02:37,129 --> 01:02:39,547
Hello? Yes.
756
01:02:40,173 --> 01:02:42,091
— Sam!
— George?
757
01:02:42,259 --> 01:02:45,594
Yes. Listen, you'll never guess
in a million years.
758
01:02:46,430 --> 01:02:47,471
I'm in Mexico.
759
01:02:48,181 --> 01:02:49,473
And I'm sitting in...
760
01:02:49,683 --> 01:02:51,350
... the Las Hadas bar...
761
01:02:51,685 --> 01:02:54,186
... having a brandy
with my old friend, Don.
762
01:02:54,813 --> 01:02:57,440
— Say hello to Sam, Don.
— Hello, Sam.
763
01:02:58,442 --> 01:03:00,985
Listen, I tried to call you
a dozen times.
764
01:03:02,487 --> 01:03:04,363
When do you plan on coming back?
765
01:03:05,782 --> 01:03:08,284
Hello? George?
766
01:03:08,535 --> 01:03:10,161
Darling...
767
01:03:10,829 --> 01:03:12,913
... I won't stay...
768
01:03:15,750 --> 01:03:18,127
... a minute longer than I have to.
769
01:03:18,628 --> 01:03:20,004
Just a couple of days...
770
01:03:20,255 --> 01:03:23,549
... a couple of weeks.
I should have it all sorted out.
771
01:03:23,800 --> 01:03:25,676
I love you too much...
772
01:03:25,927 --> 01:03:28,053
... to put you through
all that rubbish.
773
01:03:28,221 --> 01:03:29,847
I need — Ahem.
774
01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:33,392
I need the time to be alone.
775
01:03:35,145 --> 01:03:36,770
Okay?
776
01:03:38,690 --> 01:03:39,940
Sam? Sam?
777
01:03:42,027 --> 01:03:44,195
— Mm-hm?
— Say something.
778
01:03:44,988 --> 01:03:46,864
Piss off, George!
779
01:03:48,074 --> 01:03:50,451
[PLAYING]
780
01:03:59,503 --> 01:04:02,171
GEORGE: They don't write music
like that anymore.
781
01:04:03,215 --> 01:04:06,008
Well, not much anymore, anyway.
782
01:04:06,426 --> 01:04:07,968
Is that good or bad?
783
01:04:08,261 --> 01:04:09,929
What do you think?
784
01:04:11,181 --> 01:04:15,351
I'm opposed to bartenders making
value judgments while on duty.
785
01:04:15,602 --> 01:04:18,771
— For that matter, so is the management.
— Oh, poo-poo.
786
01:04:20,440 --> 01:04:21,774
How old are you?
787
01:04:22,275 --> 01:04:24,693
Thirty-seven. But I look 40.
788
01:04:24,945 --> 01:04:27,821
No. You look 33.
789
01:04:28,448 --> 01:04:30,783
That's because I'm really 25.
790
01:04:35,038 --> 01:04:39,333
We are each of us
the product of an era.
791
01:04:40,752 --> 01:04:43,587
That music is my era.
792
01:04:45,131 --> 01:04:47,216
Beautiful melody.
793
01:04:49,719 --> 01:04:51,762
Great lyric.
794
01:04:54,015 --> 01:04:56,016
If you were 19...
795
01:04:57,352 --> 01:04:59,937
... and 20 years from now...
796
01:05:01,898 --> 01:05:04,900
... you were dancing with your wife...
797
01:05:05,652 --> 01:05:08,362
... or girlfriend you knew
in high school...
798
01:05:08,947 --> 01:05:11,490
... and you said to her, "Darling...
799
01:05:13,034 --> 01:05:14,994
... they're playing our song"...
800
01:05:15,370 --> 01:05:17,663
... do you know what they'd be playing?
801
01:05:18,957 --> 01:05:20,833
"Why Don't We Do It In the Road?"
802
01:05:21,001 --> 01:05:22,084
[LAUGHS]
803
01:05:22,252 --> 01:05:24,670
What the fucking hell
kind of era is that?
804
01:05:25,422 --> 01:05:28,799
— To each his own.
— Ah. Now that's a good song.
805
01:05:52,198 --> 01:05:53,616
What —
806
01:05:54,492 --> 01:05:58,245
What is the sum total
of my indebtedness...
807
01:05:59,039 --> 01:06:01,040
... to this establishment?
808
01:06:06,129 --> 01:06:07,755
Name and room number.
809
01:06:11,384 --> 01:06:12,843
Uh...
810
01:06:13,470 --> 01:06:17,306
I have left something
for your favorite charity.
811
01:06:17,557 --> 01:06:19,350
— That's me.
— Why not?
812
01:06:19,934 --> 01:06:21,644
— Good night, Don.
— Good night.
813
01:06:21,853 --> 01:06:23,479
Mr. Webber...
814
01:06:24,648 --> 01:06:26,774
And for what it's worth...
815
01:06:27,817 --> 01:06:29,193
... I like your songs.
816
01:06:30,236 --> 01:06:31,445
God.
817
01:06:34,074 --> 01:06:35,449
Well...
818
01:06:37,327 --> 01:06:42,164
You know something?
You suddenly don't look a day over 30.
819
01:06:57,764 --> 01:07:01,183
[GEORGE HUMMING]
820
01:07:23,915 --> 01:07:25,165
Oh, oh.
821
01:07:27,877 --> 01:07:29,420
Oh, Sam.
822
01:07:30,338 --> 01:07:32,798
Come and save me, for chrissake.
823
01:07:36,553 --> 01:07:39,471
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING
OVER TV]
824
01:07:41,891 --> 01:07:44,226
[PHONE RINGING]
825
01:07:44,894 --> 01:07:47,354
— Hello?
— Josh.
826
01:07:47,522 --> 01:07:49,106
— Yeah.
— Hi, it's George.
827
01:07:49,315 --> 01:07:50,983
— How are you?
— Okay.
828
01:07:51,276 --> 01:07:52,818
Let me speak to your mother.
829
01:07:53,027 --> 01:07:54,570
She doesn't want to talk to you.
830
01:07:54,821 --> 01:07:57,072
What do you mean?
831
01:07:57,282 --> 01:08:00,909
Young man, go and tell her
I'm on the phone, right now!
832
01:08:01,161 --> 01:08:02,703
Piss off, George!
833
01:08:26,019 --> 01:08:27,227
[COUGHS]
834
01:08:30,774 --> 01:08:32,316
I couldn't sleep.
835
01:08:32,567 --> 01:08:34,693
— It's the brandy.
— Yeah.
836
01:08:34,944 --> 01:08:38,697
— Let's get back to the doubles.
— How will that help you sleep?
837
01:08:38,907 --> 01:08:41,867
I said I couldn't.
I didn't say I wanted to.
838
01:08:42,452 --> 01:08:44,328
Live and learn, like I always say.
839
01:08:44,496 --> 01:08:46,246
Oh, God.
840
01:08:46,956 --> 01:08:48,957
What else do you always say?
841
01:08:49,209 --> 01:08:50,918
I always say...
842
01:08:52,045 --> 01:08:53,337
... down the hatch.
843
01:08:53,505 --> 01:08:55,547
Ho, ho. Oh.
844
01:08:55,799 --> 01:08:57,549
Up the rebels.
845
01:09:06,017 --> 01:09:07,434
Hello.
846
01:09:12,398 --> 01:09:14,358
Hello.
847
01:09:17,987 --> 01:09:20,656
I don't mean to be rude,
but aren't you George Webber?
848
01:09:21,449 --> 01:09:25,744
Yes, I am, and I don't think
you're being the teeniest bit rude.
849
01:09:26,454 --> 01:09:27,871
Terrific.
850
01:09:29,749 --> 01:09:31,667
I met you at Truman Capote's party.
851
01:09:33,336 --> 01:09:36,588
— Terrific.
— My name is Mary Lewis.
852
01:09:37,006 --> 01:09:40,425
— Congratulations, Mary Lewis.
— Thank you. Thank you.
853
01:09:46,307 --> 01:09:48,559
GEORGE:
Enid. Enid, darling. Have you met my wife?
854
01:09:48,726 --> 01:09:49,768
[MARY GIGGLES]
855
01:09:49,936 --> 01:09:51,979
MARY:
I'm so pissed.
856
01:09:52,856 --> 01:09:56,441
— She's lost her shape.
— She's going to enjoy this.
857
01:09:56,985 --> 01:09:59,570
Nice room you have. Pretty.
858
01:09:59,737 --> 01:10:01,280
[GEORGE SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
859
01:10:02,115 --> 01:10:03,574
— Oh!
— Oh, God!
860
01:10:03,825 --> 01:10:05,158
I'm sorry.
861
01:10:06,244 --> 01:10:07,661
Let me make it well.
862
01:10:12,125 --> 01:10:14,209
GEORGE:
I don't want you to be afraid.
863
01:10:14,377 --> 01:10:16,879
[LAUGHING & GRUNTING]
864
01:10:33,146 --> 01:10:34,646
George.
865
01:10:35,648 --> 01:10:37,190
Hmm?
866
01:10:37,609 --> 01:10:39,067
Is it me?
867
01:10:41,821 --> 01:10:43,322
No.
868
01:10:43,531 --> 01:10:44,823
Yes, it is.
869
01:10:46,576 --> 01:10:48,076
Okay.
870
01:10:48,536 --> 01:10:51,038
— Is it?
— No.
871
01:10:53,666 --> 01:10:55,959
It is me, isn't it?
872
01:10:56,836 --> 01:10:58,378
No.
873
01:11:00,840 --> 01:11:03,592
This ever happen to you before?
874
01:11:06,512 --> 01:11:09,973
Well, it's happened to me before.
875
01:11:14,187 --> 01:11:17,022
Ta-da. Heh-heh-heh.
876
01:11:18,191 --> 01:11:19,775
There was this...
877
01:11:20,610 --> 01:11:23,779
... beautiful guy. Willis.
878
01:11:24,364 --> 01:11:26,448
— Willis —
— Ackerman.
879
01:11:26,699 --> 01:11:28,659
Willis Ackerman.
880
01:11:29,535 --> 01:11:33,830
We slept together,
by actual count, 16 times.
881
01:11:35,500 --> 01:11:39,544
No matter what we did or how,
he just couldn't manage.
882
01:11:40,213 --> 01:11:41,880
That's terrible.
883
01:11:43,299 --> 01:11:47,886
One time he got so crazy,
he just started punching the wall.
884
01:11:48,054 --> 01:11:50,263
Hit it as hard as he could.
885
01:11:50,431 --> 01:11:52,724
Broke the old hand in three places.
886
01:11:57,939 --> 01:11:59,731
He swore he loved me.
887
01:11:59,983 --> 01:12:04,277
He'd sit on that bed in the dark
and he would cry like a baby.
888
01:12:05,071 --> 01:12:08,323
It never happened to him before,
he said.
889
01:12:10,159 --> 01:12:12,995
We stopped seeing each other finally.
890
01:12:14,038 --> 01:12:16,957
You know, he's got three kids now.
891
01:12:17,208 --> 01:12:20,961
He's married
and he's got 3 kids in 4 years.
892
01:12:22,088 --> 01:12:24,256
I think he's...
893
01:12:25,258 --> 01:12:26,550
... worked his problem out.
894
01:12:26,759 --> 01:12:32,014
Yeah, well, I was his problem
and he sure worked me right out.
895
01:12:38,604 --> 01:12:41,606
So don't go punching any walls,
Georgie, huh?
896
01:12:42,692 --> 01:12:44,276
Some of us...
897
01:12:44,444 --> 01:12:47,529
... just don't bring out
the man in men.
898
01:12:50,616 --> 01:12:52,409
Good night, sweet Georgie.
899
01:12:52,577 --> 01:12:55,120
[DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS]
900
01:13:12,930 --> 01:13:17,184
WOMAN 1:
The sand is hot! Oh! Ah! Hot!
901
01:13:18,770 --> 01:13:20,395
MARY:
Oh, God.
902
01:13:29,781 --> 01:13:31,114
WOMAN 2:
The sand is hot.
903
01:13:35,286 --> 01:13:37,120
[GEORGE GRUNTS]
904
01:13:38,539 --> 01:13:40,499
GEORGE:
God, bloody hell.
905
01:13:48,841 --> 01:13:50,884
WOMAN 3: Oh! Ha, ha.
GEORGE: Sorry.
906
01:13:57,183 --> 01:14:00,811
Ah! Ahh. Oh, God.
907
01:14:09,487 --> 01:14:11,029
God.
908
01:14:37,431 --> 01:14:39,558
Hello. Drink, sir?
909
01:14:39,809 --> 01:14:41,768
Can I get you anything to drink?
910
01:14:41,978 --> 01:14:44,104
Something cool, refreshing?
911
01:14:44,689 --> 01:14:46,356
Can I soak my feet in it?
912
01:14:47,567 --> 01:14:51,236
How about a Bloody Mary? You can stand
in the ocean while drinking it.
913
01:14:51,487 --> 01:14:54,447
God, yeah.
That may be the suggestion of the week.
914
01:14:54,657 --> 01:14:56,491
— Thank you.
— Okay.
915
01:15:08,004 --> 01:15:09,796
MARY:
Oh, God.
916
01:15:11,215 --> 01:15:13,633
Think I'll go out
and get a surfboard.
917
01:15:17,388 --> 01:15:20,265
Ow, ow! Damn! Damn!
918
01:15:21,434 --> 01:15:23,226
Ah, fuck it!
919
01:16:05,978 --> 01:16:08,021
— Here you go, sir.
— Oh, shit!
920
01:16:08,439 --> 01:16:10,148
Here's your Bloody Mary.
921
01:16:10,608 --> 01:16:12,651
— Would you like to drink it in the ocean?
— No, no.
922
01:16:12,902 --> 01:16:16,363
— It's really warm in the ocean.
— No, no.
923
01:16:17,281 --> 01:16:19,532
— I'll take you on my back. Come on.
— No.
924
01:16:44,600 --> 01:16:46,685
— Okay here, sir?
GEORGE: Yeah.
925
01:16:47,395 --> 01:16:48,687
— Cheers!
— Thank you.
926
01:16:48,854 --> 01:16:50,522
Enjoy yourself.
927
01:16:56,612 --> 01:17:02,534
— He is a very enterprising young man.
— Mm. Yes, yes.
928
01:17:02,952 --> 01:17:05,620
I must admit I feel a bit foolish.
929
01:17:07,957 --> 01:17:09,666
— Good morning.
— Good morning.
930
01:17:15,423 --> 01:17:17,173
I didn't get your name.
931
01:17:18,426 --> 01:17:20,385
Webber. George.
932
01:17:20,553 --> 01:17:23,596
— Collins. Bill.
— Hi. How are you?
933
01:17:23,848 --> 01:17:26,391
— Switzer. Chuck.
— Hi.
934
01:17:28,436 --> 01:17:30,895
Chuck refuses to be carried.
935
01:17:31,230 --> 01:17:33,481
He used to be a Marine.
936
01:17:34,400 --> 01:17:37,485
Oh, well. To Tripoli.
937
01:17:38,529 --> 01:17:40,322
Semper fi.
938
01:17:54,462 --> 01:17:57,756
I was in the Royal Air Force,
as a matter of fact.
939
01:17:58,841 --> 01:18:02,135
I thought you had to be English
to be in that.
940
01:18:02,303 --> 01:18:03,762
You do.
941
01:18:05,639 --> 01:18:08,099
— You an English fellow, huh?
GEORGE: Mm-hm.
942
01:18:10,853 --> 01:18:12,020
That's all right.
943
01:19:53,038 --> 01:19:55,915
Sir. Can I get you anything else?
944
01:19:56,876 --> 01:19:58,418
Yeah. Terrific.
945
01:19:58,669 --> 01:20:00,086
How about a beer?
946
01:20:00,337 --> 01:20:04,132
Uh. No, actually. Thanks.
I think I might go for a swim.
947
01:20:04,383 --> 01:20:07,051
— If you need anything —
— I'll give you a shout.
948
01:20:15,769 --> 01:20:18,855
[SPEAKS SPANISH]
949
01:20:22,985 --> 01:20:25,653
— Surfboard?
— It's great. Can I get you one?
950
01:20:25,821 --> 01:20:27,697
I've never really used one.
951
01:20:27,907 --> 01:20:30,950
There's nothing to it. No big waves.
Just paddle around.
952
01:20:31,160 --> 01:20:32,452
Sure it's not dangerous?
953
01:20:32,620 --> 01:20:36,039
Absolutely. The hotel's had only
one accident since opening.
954
01:20:36,207 --> 01:20:39,167
— That was because the dummy fell asleep.
— Fell asleep?
955
01:20:39,335 --> 01:20:42,086
EMPLOYEE:
Yeah. He fell asleep on the board...
956
01:20:42,296 --> 01:20:45,006
... drifted out to sea
and the currents got him.
957
01:20:48,677 --> 01:20:49,677
The currents?
958
01:20:49,845 --> 01:20:52,847
Past the point, there's heavy currents.
6 or 7 knots.
959
01:20:53,057 --> 01:20:57,393
If you're on a surfboard or swimming,
that's it. You could end up in Peru.
960
01:21:00,022 --> 01:21:02,273
— You mean he —
— Never found him.
961
01:21:02,608 --> 01:21:04,817
But you don't fall asleep on a surfboard.
962
01:21:05,069 --> 01:21:06,945
And you don't paddle out too far.
963
01:21:07,196 --> 01:21:10,532
— Well, maybe tomorrow.
— What about sailing?
964
01:21:11,909 --> 01:21:14,744
— Great sport.
— Maybe. I'll see you later.
965
01:21:15,329 --> 01:21:16,538
EMPLOYEE:
Adios.
966
01:24:05,290 --> 01:24:08,626
Hey! Hey! Hey!
967
01:24:15,718 --> 01:24:17,051
Come on!
968
01:24:17,469 --> 01:24:18,970
Oh!
969
01:24:40,826 --> 01:24:42,660
[GRUNTING]
970
01:24:52,755 --> 01:24:55,965
NEWSCASTER [ON TV]: Against odds
and without thought for his own safety...
971
01:24:56,216 --> 01:24:58,718
... George Webber, composer,
playwright...
972
01:24:58,969 --> 01:25:01,137
... and winner
of four Academy Awards...
973
01:25:01,388 --> 01:25:04,724
... braved treacherous waters
to save a drowning man.
974
01:25:05,142 --> 01:25:07,602
David Hanley, 23,
and his bride, Jennifer...
975
01:25:07,853 --> 01:25:11,230
... are honeymooning at
the Las Hadas Hotel in Mexico.
976
01:25:11,690 --> 01:25:15,234
David fell asleep on his surfboard
and drifted out to sea.
977
01:25:15,402 --> 01:25:16,444
I've got to call Sam!
978
01:25:16,653 --> 01:25:20,573
— told me how dangerous
it is in the currents.
979
01:25:20,783 --> 01:25:22,408
I was out in the boat...
980
01:25:22,659 --> 01:25:23,993
... and I decided...
981
01:25:24,328 --> 01:25:27,830
... there wasn't time to go for help,
so I went after him.
982
01:25:27,998 --> 01:25:29,624
WOMAN [OVER PHONE]:
Hello? Hello?
983
01:25:29,875 --> 01:25:33,669
— George Webber, please.
— One moment please.
984
01:25:35,589 --> 01:25:37,423
— To your very good health.
— Thank you, Don.
985
01:25:37,591 --> 01:25:38,966
— Cheers.
— Cheers.
986
01:25:39,259 --> 01:25:41,177
[PHONE RINGS]
987
01:25:43,722 --> 01:25:45,807
— Lounge.
WOMAN: Mr. Webber, please.
988
01:25:46,141 --> 01:25:47,266
Wait one moment.
989
01:25:47,518 --> 01:25:49,811
— Are you in?
— No, no.
990
01:25:51,438 --> 01:25:54,440
Listen, Kitty,
until otherwise instructed...
991
01:25:55,442 --> 01:25:57,360
... Mr. Webber'll be incommunicado.
992
01:25:57,611 --> 01:26:00,071
Oh, my God! Where's that?
993
01:26:00,322 --> 01:26:02,990
About 20 miles east,
and make a left turn.
994
01:26:03,242 --> 01:26:05,868
Okay. Thank you, Don.
995
01:26:06,119 --> 01:26:09,831
Clever girl. She wanted to know
where "communicado" was.
996
01:26:10,082 --> 01:26:12,416
Oh, it's very obvious.
997
01:26:12,668 --> 01:26:14,877
It's a stone's throw from "cognito."
998
01:26:16,171 --> 01:26:17,880
Sorry.
999
01:26:18,048 --> 01:26:19,423
Sorry.
1000
01:26:26,390 --> 01:26:28,474
This is the new one, Hugh.
1001
01:30:18,038 --> 01:30:19,955
That's beautiful.
1002
01:30:21,833 --> 01:30:23,459
More, Georgie.
1003
01:30:23,710 --> 01:30:26,003
Play "Funny Valentine."
1004
01:30:27,172 --> 01:30:30,257
You don't remember?
I played that for you already.
1005
01:30:30,509 --> 01:30:31,675
You did?
1006
01:30:31,927 --> 01:30:34,804
At Truman Capote's party.
1007
01:30:35,055 --> 01:30:37,473
Gosh, I don't remember.
1008
01:30:40,060 --> 01:30:41,435
Are you sure?
1009
01:30:42,729 --> 01:30:45,064
I play it at every party.
1010
01:30:51,279 --> 01:30:54,990
Keep a light in the window.
I may be back.
1011
01:30:55,158 --> 01:30:57,409
DONALD: Right, mate.
— Oh, yes.
1012
01:31:00,372 --> 01:31:03,916
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1013
01:31:16,012 --> 01:31:17,930
JENNIFER: Who is it?
GEORGE: Uh, George Webber.
1014
01:31:20,100 --> 01:31:22,685
Sorry, I didn't realize
you were in the shower.
1015
01:31:22,853 --> 01:31:24,145
Oh, no, no. Come in.
1016
01:31:24,354 --> 01:31:26,939
I tried to call,
but you weren't in.
1017
01:31:27,357 --> 01:31:29,608
I'll just slip into a robe. Come in.
1018
01:31:32,863 --> 01:31:35,197
There's a bar if you want a drink.
1019
01:31:35,448 --> 01:31:36,866
There's a joint in the ashtray.
1020
01:32:01,892 --> 01:32:04,393
I didn't get home
from the hospital until 8:00.
1021
01:32:04,603 --> 01:32:05,936
How is your husband?
1022
01:32:06,104 --> 01:32:07,104
[MUSIC STOPS]
1023
01:32:07,272 --> 01:32:08,856
JENNIFER:
He's got a terrible sunburn.
1024
01:32:09,065 --> 01:32:11,192
He'll lie on his stomach for days.
1025
01:32:11,401 --> 01:32:13,819
It could have been much worse.
1026
01:32:14,696 --> 01:32:16,822
— Wouldn't you like a drink?
— No, thanks.
1027
01:32:17,073 --> 01:32:19,408
— Some grass?
— No, no, no.
1028
01:32:19,868 --> 01:32:22,995
— Would you like to sit down?
— Yes.
1029
01:32:26,708 --> 01:32:28,918
You know my father.
1030
01:32:29,085 --> 01:32:30,961
— Yes.
— He says you're his patient.
1031
01:32:31,129 --> 01:32:33,589
— Dr. Miles, D.D.S.
— That's right.
1032
01:32:34,799 --> 01:32:36,759
Well, isn't that wild?
1033
01:32:38,011 --> 01:32:39,720
Yeah.
1034
01:32:39,888 --> 01:32:41,472
You wouldn't believe this.
1035
01:32:41,640 --> 01:32:44,391
About two weeks ago,
David and I saw you on Dinah Shore.
1036
01:32:44,559 --> 01:32:45,643
Oh, right.
1037
01:32:45,810 --> 01:32:49,688
To be honest, I didn't know
who you were or what you did.
1038
01:32:50,190 --> 01:32:54,360
But I said to David,
"There's a really attractive older man."
1039
01:32:54,945 --> 01:32:57,196
Oh. Well, that's nice.
1040
01:32:58,782 --> 01:33:00,783
And you've written all those songs.
1041
01:33:01,201 --> 01:33:03,160
— A few.
— Elevator music.
1042
01:33:03,912 --> 01:33:06,288
God! Elevator music.
1043
01:33:07,874 --> 01:33:10,501
The music in elevators.
Lots of violins.
1044
01:33:10,669 --> 01:33:13,671
I know what you mean.
I'm very big in elevators.
1045
01:33:20,262 --> 01:33:23,180
— And here you are.
— Yeah.
1046
01:33:24,766 --> 01:33:27,268
You saved my husband's life.
1047
01:33:28,979 --> 01:33:30,521
It's unbelievable, isn't it?
1048
01:33:31,356 --> 01:33:32,982
Yeah, I suppose it is.
1049
01:33:34,025 --> 01:33:36,151
Did you know we were
on our honeymoon?
1050
01:33:36,444 --> 01:33:39,488
— No.
— We were married Friday.
1051
01:33:39,781 --> 01:33:41,365
Oh.
1052
01:33:43,201 --> 01:33:46,036
— Not much of a honeymoon.
— It doesn't matter.
1053
01:33:46,371 --> 01:33:49,832
We lived together two years.
We only did it for the family.
1054
01:33:50,041 --> 01:33:52,501
My father's just right of Attila the Hun.
1055
01:33:56,381 --> 01:33:59,800
— May I ask you something, Mr. Webber?
— If you call me George.
1056
01:34:00,802 --> 01:34:02,469
I haven't eaten all day.
1057
01:34:02,721 --> 01:34:06,640
Well, in that case
let me take you out to dinner.
1058
01:34:07,684 --> 01:34:10,185
That's what I was going
to ask you, George.
1059
01:34:18,403 --> 01:34:20,738
[CHATTERING]
1060
01:34:33,251 --> 01:34:35,961
[MARIACHI BAND SINGS
IN SPANISH]
1061
01:35:05,658 --> 01:35:07,117
Pretty song.
1062
01:35:09,662 --> 01:35:13,207
"Esta noche, la paso contigo."
1063
01:35:15,543 --> 01:35:16,585
What does that mean?
1064
01:35:19,089 --> 01:35:21,215
Tonight I spend with you.
1065
01:36:21,443 --> 01:36:24,319
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
1066
01:36:34,789 --> 01:36:37,458
Tell me something, sweet Donald.
1067
01:36:39,752 --> 01:36:42,004
What's fair about a man...
1068
01:36:42,380 --> 01:36:43,505
... getting older...
1069
01:36:43,715 --> 01:36:47,843
... and looking more distinguished
and worldly...
1070
01:36:48,303 --> 01:36:52,473
... and a woman getting older
and looking old?
1071
01:36:55,560 --> 01:36:57,936
There's nothing fair about that.
1072
01:37:02,233 --> 01:37:03,233
Yeah.
1073
01:37:11,326 --> 01:37:14,953
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
1074
01:37:22,837 --> 01:37:24,421
No, I'm...
1075
01:37:25,798 --> 01:37:27,758
... just fine.
1076
01:37:31,304 --> 01:37:33,931
I wasn't expecting Prokofiev.
1077
01:37:34,933 --> 01:37:38,185
I saw Romeo and Juliet
at the Royal Opera House...
1078
01:37:38,436 --> 01:37:41,396
... when I was 16,
with Nureyev and Fonteyn.
1079
01:37:41,981 --> 01:37:43,815
It really wiped me out.
1080
01:37:45,568 --> 01:37:47,653
I like different music for different things.
1081
01:37:49,113 --> 01:37:51,198
I like to listen to rock.
1082
01:37:51,366 --> 01:37:53,158
I like to dance to jazz.
1083
01:37:54,202 --> 01:37:55,786
What do you do to Prokofiev?
1084
01:37:58,498 --> 01:37:59,540
Fuck.
1085
01:38:04,963 --> 01:38:07,464
And not only Prokofiev. Ravel.
1086
01:38:10,134 --> 01:38:11,969
Did you ever do it to Ravel's "Bolero"?
1087
01:38:12,720 --> 01:38:13,887
No.
1088
01:38:23,982 --> 01:38:25,649
My uncle turned me on to it.
1089
01:38:25,984 --> 01:38:27,818
[COUGHING]
1090
01:38:29,362 --> 01:38:31,238
My stepmother's younger brother.
1091
01:38:32,991 --> 01:38:36,368
I spent weekends at his house.
I was at school in England.
1092
01:38:37,328 --> 01:38:41,540
Uncle Fred said "Bolero" was the
most descriptive sex music ever written.
1093
01:38:43,293 --> 01:38:45,294
And he proved it.
1094
01:38:54,387 --> 01:38:55,470
[MUSIC STOPS]
1095
01:39:06,316 --> 01:39:09,526
[RAVEL'S "BOLERO" PLAYING]
1096
01:39:17,327 --> 01:39:18,827
George?
1097
01:39:19,245 --> 01:39:20,746
I forgot the joint.
1098
01:39:20,997 --> 01:39:22,164
What, now?
1099
01:40:29,649 --> 01:40:31,483
Oh, God, you beautiful thing!
1100
01:40:31,734 --> 01:40:34,653
Better hurry or you'll have to start it again.
1101
01:40:34,904 --> 01:40:37,322
The music.
You'll have to start it again.
1102
01:40:48,793 --> 01:40:51,044
— Start it again!
— What?
1103
01:40:51,254 --> 01:40:55,465
It's better if you start right
at the beginning. Please?
1104
01:40:59,762 --> 01:41:01,138
Hurry!
1105
01:41:04,058 --> 01:41:05,183
GEORGE:
Oh, shit.
1106
01:41:05,351 --> 01:41:06,768
[MUSIC STOPS]
1107
01:41:07,311 --> 01:41:08,812
[MUSIC STARTS]
1108
01:41:14,152 --> 01:41:17,112
It's all right. It's a long piece.
1109
01:41:19,490 --> 01:41:22,868
Oh, God. Oh, Jenny.
1110
01:41:25,413 --> 01:41:27,998
You're the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
1111
01:41:28,166 --> 01:41:30,125
[MOANING]
1112
01:41:31,461 --> 01:41:35,213
Ah, ah, ah! Ow, my hair!
1113
01:41:36,382 --> 01:41:37,758
JENNIFER:
Oh, I'm sorry.
1114
01:41:48,686 --> 01:41:51,229
— What?
— It's better if I'm on top.
1115
01:41:51,397 --> 01:41:53,565
Oh, okay.
1116
01:42:02,492 --> 01:42:03,575
[COUGHS AND WHEEZES]
1117
01:42:03,743 --> 01:42:05,076
— What?
— A feather!
1118
01:42:05,328 --> 01:42:07,370
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
1119
01:42:08,414 --> 01:42:11,875
— Maybe it's better if we go the other way.
— Okay.
1120
01:42:22,845 --> 01:42:25,055
[MUSIC SKIPS]
1121
01:42:25,556 --> 01:42:27,724
GEORGE: Now what?
— It's stuck!
1122
01:42:27,934 --> 01:42:29,893
GEORGE:
It's not. Really, don't be afraid.
1123
01:42:30,102 --> 01:42:32,270
JENNIFER:
The record is stuck!
1124
01:42:33,064 --> 01:42:34,981
The record!
1125
01:42:35,149 --> 01:42:36,691
GEORGE:
Oh, Christ.
1126
01:42:36,943 --> 01:42:38,735
JENNIFER:
Fix it, please!
1127
01:42:41,948 --> 01:42:43,281
[MUSIC STOPS SKIPPING]
1128
01:42:43,699 --> 01:42:45,116
Finally.
1129
01:42:48,746 --> 01:42:50,497
[PHONE RINGING]
1130
01:42:50,665 --> 01:42:53,917
GEORGE: Oh, Jesus!
— I don't believe it!
1131
01:42:57,088 --> 01:42:58,296
Hello?
1132
01:42:58,506 --> 01:43:01,216
Oh, hi, baby.
How do you feel?
1133
01:43:02,093 --> 01:43:03,510
It's David.
1134
01:43:04,512 --> 01:43:06,805
George Webber.
We went out to dinner.
1135
01:43:07,306 --> 01:43:09,808
George Webber,
the man who saved —
1136
01:43:10,059 --> 01:43:11,685
Right, right.
1137
01:43:12,436 --> 01:43:15,146
Hold on. He wants to talk to you.
1138
01:43:17,775 --> 01:43:19,734
He wants to thank you.
1139
01:43:20,820 --> 01:43:22,612
Hi, David.
1140
01:43:23,781 --> 01:43:26,658
Yeah. Oh, no big deal.
1141
01:43:26,909 --> 01:43:28,994
No, it's my pleasure.
1142
01:43:29,370 --> 01:43:31,371
Yeah, she's —
1143
01:43:32,081 --> 01:43:33,164
We had a nice dinner.
1144
01:43:33,416 --> 01:43:36,501
And we were just sitting around talking.
1145
01:43:39,005 --> 01:43:41,756
I was just getting ready to leave.
1146
01:43:42,758 --> 01:43:46,011
Sure will. Okay, nice talking to you.
1147
01:43:48,431 --> 01:43:51,558
Hi. You sound like you're
really out of it.
1148
01:43:52,059 --> 01:43:53,518
Beautiful. I envy you.
1149
01:43:53,686 --> 01:43:55,145
You'd better get some sleep.
1150
01:43:55,313 --> 01:43:57,355
I'll be there about 11:00.
1151
01:43:57,523 --> 01:44:00,025
Okay. All right. Bye.
1152
01:44:00,276 --> 01:44:03,486
They just gave him a shot of Demerol.
He's really out of it.
1153
01:44:03,654 --> 01:44:05,363
GEORGE:
Oh, God.
1154
01:44:11,996 --> 01:44:13,455
[MUSIC STOPS]
1155
01:44:18,377 --> 01:44:20,170
Oh, fuck! Ow.
1156
01:44:20,338 --> 01:44:22,839
[MUSIC PLAYING]
1157
01:44:26,677 --> 01:44:28,386
[JENNIFER SQUEALS]
1158
01:44:32,224 --> 01:44:33,642
Hold it.
1159
01:44:37,146 --> 01:44:39,689
— Can I ask you a question?
— Sure.
1160
01:44:41,067 --> 01:44:42,442
Why me?
1161
01:44:44,153 --> 01:44:45,487
What do you mean?
1162
01:44:46,614 --> 01:44:49,366
Tonight! Me. This.
1163
01:44:49,700 --> 01:44:51,451
Why not?
1164
01:44:58,542 --> 01:45:00,919
Are you bothered
because my old man called?
1165
01:45:01,087 --> 01:45:02,712
God, aren't you?
1166
01:45:02,880 --> 01:45:04,130
No.
1167
01:45:05,091 --> 01:45:06,883
And what about this?
1168
01:45:07,301 --> 01:45:09,552
— I don't understand.
— Oh, come on.
1169
01:45:09,720 --> 01:45:11,388
This! Us!
1170
01:45:11,722 --> 01:45:13,056
What about it?
1171
01:45:13,557 --> 01:45:15,225
Why the hell get married?
1172
01:45:16,686 --> 01:45:18,603
I got married because I wanted to.
1173
01:45:20,731 --> 01:45:25,360
A week later you have an affair with
the man who saved your husband's life!
1174
01:45:28,406 --> 01:45:31,199
— Oh, wow!
— Oh, Jenny.
1175
01:45:31,575 --> 01:45:32,909
"Oh, wow"?
1176
01:45:33,494 --> 01:45:35,578
I don't understand that thinking.
1177
01:45:35,746 --> 01:45:37,414
Well, evidently not.
1178
01:45:41,043 --> 01:45:43,211
Five minutes ago
you weren't worried about him.
1179
01:45:43,379 --> 01:45:45,338
— Oh, boy.
— Or whether I was married.
1180
01:45:45,506 --> 01:45:47,757
The hell I wasn't!
1181
01:45:49,260 --> 01:45:51,761
How do you act
when you're not worried?
1182
01:45:52,722 --> 01:45:58,226
I thought maybe you thought
I was more than just a casual lay.
1183
01:45:59,311 --> 01:46:00,437
Why'd you think that?
1184
01:46:00,604 --> 01:46:02,939
Oh, great. Thank you. Terrific.
1185
01:46:05,109 --> 01:46:09,529
Because I thought you were something
different. Something special!
1186
01:46:09,780 --> 01:46:13,116
I am. As far as I'm concerned,
I'm very special.
1187
01:46:13,409 --> 01:46:16,411
If I sleep with someone,
it's because I want to.
1188
01:46:17,121 --> 01:46:19,789
— Mm-hm.
— I enjoy it. It pleases me.
1189
01:46:20,041 --> 01:46:21,458
Jolly good!
1190
01:46:21,959 --> 01:46:23,460
It's okay if your husband does it?
1191
01:46:24,462 --> 01:46:26,046
If it makes him happy.
1192
01:46:26,297 --> 01:46:28,423
Nothing wrong with being happy...
1193
01:46:28,632 --> 01:46:31,301
... but there's more to life than
screwing to Ravel's "Bolero."
1194
01:46:31,552 --> 01:46:32,969
Sure there is.
1195
01:46:33,304 --> 01:46:36,056
But what's wrong with screwing
to Ravel's "Bolero"?
1196
01:46:36,307 --> 01:46:40,769
It depends why you're doing it
and with whom you're doing it...
1197
01:46:41,145 --> 01:46:42,145
... with.
1198
01:46:42,354 --> 01:46:44,481
If I thought that much, I'd be a virgin!
1199
01:46:44,648 --> 01:46:46,149
Oh, look, Jenny!
1200
01:46:46,358 --> 01:46:48,818
George, are you happy?
1201
01:46:50,946 --> 01:46:52,781
Let me see...
1202
01:46:53,908 --> 01:46:56,493
Um... No.
1203
01:46:57,203 --> 01:46:58,661
Not at this minute.
1204
01:46:58,871 --> 01:47:00,330
Neither am I.
1205
01:47:01,332 --> 01:47:04,501
But I was,
and I intend to be again soon.
1206
01:47:04,877 --> 01:47:08,963
I don't know your problem
but you won't solve it by solving mine.
1207
01:47:09,173 --> 01:47:12,509
— Fine.
— And I don't think I really have a problem.
1208
01:47:12,676 --> 01:47:14,052
Mm-hm.
1209
01:47:15,846 --> 01:47:16,888
That's your problem.
1210
01:47:43,707 --> 01:47:44,874
— George?
— Hmm?
1211
01:47:46,001 --> 01:47:48,378
Would you turn off the record?
1212
01:47:57,388 --> 01:47:58,638
[MUSIC STOPS]
1213
01:48:11,318 --> 01:48:16,948
SAMANTHA:
I give my heart
1214
01:48:18,742 --> 01:48:24,080
Just to one man
1215
01:48:26,458 --> 01:48:30,628
I give my heart
1216
01:48:31,046 --> 01:48:35,425
To one man
1217
01:48:36,093 --> 01:48:40,430
Alone
1218
01:48:42,683 --> 01:48:44,934
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDS]
1219
01:48:54,820 --> 01:48:58,323
— They loved it.
— At $8.50 a crack, I'm lucky.
1220
01:49:00,618 --> 01:49:02,785
STAGE HAND: What's up?
BERNIE: George fucking Webber!
1221
01:49:11,629 --> 01:49:13,296
[DOORBELL RINGS]
1222
01:49:18,302 --> 01:49:20,803
HOUSEKEEPER:
Hello, Mr. Webber. Come in.
1223
01:49:21,472 --> 01:49:23,139
— How are you?
— Fine, thanks.
1224
01:49:24,975 --> 01:49:26,726
— Is she expecting you?
— No.
1225
01:49:26,936 --> 01:49:29,604
— I'd better let her know you're here.
— Okay.
1226
01:49:33,776 --> 01:49:35,318
HOUSEKEEPER:
Mrs. Taylor?
1227
01:49:35,819 --> 01:49:38,321
SAMANTHA: Yes?
— Mr. Webber's here.
1228
01:49:42,284 --> 01:49:43,868
— Would you like a drink?
— No, thanks.
1229
01:49:53,003 --> 01:49:54,337
Your phone's out of order.
1230
01:49:54,964 --> 01:49:56,297
No, it's not.
1231
01:49:56,507 --> 01:49:58,007
It's been busy all day.
1232
01:49:58,384 --> 01:49:59,884
It's Josh talking to his dad.
1233
01:50:02,263 --> 01:50:06,683
I... I got back this afternoon.
I thought I'd surprise you.
1234
01:50:07,518 --> 01:50:08,643
You did.
1235
01:50:09,937 --> 01:50:13,398
Uh... Maybe you'd like to go have dinner?
1236
01:50:14,817 --> 01:50:17,068
— No, thanks.
— Okay.
1237
01:50:17,361 --> 01:50:19,195
I'm having dinner with Bernie Kaufman.
1238
01:50:21,532 --> 01:50:24,158
— How come?
— Because he asked me.
1239
01:50:24,827 --> 01:50:27,495
JOSH:
Mom? Dad wants to talk to you.
1240
01:50:27,705 --> 01:50:30,915
He wants me to come
to Southampton for Easter.
1241
01:50:31,333 --> 01:50:33,710
— Oh, hi, George.
GEORGE: Hi, Josh.
1242
01:50:34,378 --> 01:50:35,712
You mad at me?
1243
01:50:36,046 --> 01:50:37,463
Yeah.
1244
01:50:37,840 --> 01:50:39,674
JOSH:
Mom says I should apologize.
1245
01:50:42,386 --> 01:50:45,388
I think you should apologize
because you want to...
1246
01:50:45,556 --> 01:50:47,056
... not because of your mother.
1247
01:50:47,599 --> 01:50:50,143
— What if I don't want to?
— Uh...
1248
01:50:50,686 --> 01:50:51,728
Then don't.
1249
01:50:51,937 --> 01:50:53,813
[DOORBELL RINGS]
1250
01:50:54,940 --> 01:50:57,608
JOSH: Okay, I won't.
— Why the hell not?
1251
01:50:59,153 --> 01:51:00,361
BERNIE: Hi.
JOSH: Hi.
1252
01:51:00,529 --> 01:51:02,572
I'm Bernie Kaufman.
Your mom expects me.
1253
01:51:02,823 --> 01:51:04,324
She's on the phone.
1254
01:51:05,367 --> 01:51:08,077
I'll apologize to you
if you apologize to Mom.
1255
01:51:08,245 --> 01:51:10,872
— Why should I do that?
— Because you've been a real shit!
1256
01:51:11,040 --> 01:51:13,082
— You little...
JOSH: I'll tell her you're here.
1257
01:51:14,918 --> 01:51:17,378
— Bernie Kaufman.
— Hi. George Webber.
1258
01:51:17,838 --> 01:51:20,089
SAMANTHA:
Okay, I'll see you later.
1259
01:51:22,593 --> 01:51:26,596
— You two know each other?
— I think we just met.
1260
01:51:26,764 --> 01:51:28,431
— Hi, Bernie.
— Hi
1261
01:51:28,766 --> 01:51:31,142
— You know where the Scotch is.
— No, I don't.
1262
01:51:31,435 --> 01:51:32,518
Make yourself at home.
1263
01:51:32,686 --> 01:51:34,479
— Nice meeting you.
— Yeah.
1264
01:51:40,361 --> 01:51:42,612
[PHONE RINGS]
1265
01:51:45,574 --> 01:51:46,616
Yes?
1266
01:51:46,867 --> 01:51:50,286
— What did you do, work all night?
— I did. Was it worth it?
1267
01:51:50,454 --> 01:51:52,080
As a matter of fact, it was.
1268
01:51:52,289 --> 01:51:53,873
One of your better lyrics.
1269
01:51:54,124 --> 01:51:57,168
I was inspired by
one of your better melodies.
1270
01:51:57,795 --> 01:51:59,170
Hmm.
1271
01:52:00,130 --> 01:52:01,672
You don't sound happy.
1272
01:52:02,299 --> 01:52:04,801
I've always gone on
the premise that...
1273
01:52:05,177 --> 01:52:07,387
... to be happy,
you have to feel happy.
1274
01:52:07,971 --> 01:52:09,263
How's Larry?
1275
01:52:11,308 --> 01:52:12,975
He's traveling abroad.
1276
01:52:13,310 --> 01:52:15,770
I got a telegram saying
he might come back.
1277
01:52:15,979 --> 01:52:17,814
But due to some...
1278
01:52:18,774 --> 01:52:21,818
... foolish pride,
I don't think I'll take him back.
1279
01:52:23,487 --> 01:52:25,029
Have you seen Sam?
1280
01:52:25,906 --> 01:52:29,200
She's going out to dinner
with Bernie Kaufman.
1281
01:52:30,911 --> 01:52:33,663
Don't do as I do. Do as I say.
1282
01:52:34,039 --> 01:52:36,124
Kill if you must, but don't lose her.
1283
01:52:36,333 --> 01:52:39,293
— I'll see you tomorrow.
— All right.
1284
01:52:46,593 --> 01:52:48,845
[PLAYING]
1285
01:53:00,482 --> 01:53:04,485
[SINGING]
It's easy to say
1286
01:53:06,321 --> 01:53:08,156
It's over
1287
01:53:12,244 --> 01:53:14,203
It's easy
1288
01:53:14,538 --> 01:53:16,205
To say
1289
01:53:18,083 --> 01:53:20,710
We're the best of friends
1290
01:53:22,713 --> 01:53:27,008
You walk away and for a while
1291
01:53:28,969 --> 01:53:31,888
You try the summer
1292
01:53:32,473 --> 01:53:35,683
Of a younger smile
1293
01:53:37,895 --> 01:53:42,482
But the memory never ends
1294
01:53:47,863 --> 01:53:52,074
You could lose your mind
1295
01:53:53,076 --> 01:53:55,912
But then you'll find
1296
01:53:59,082 --> 01:54:02,793
It's easy to say
1297
01:54:04,713 --> 01:54:06,047
I love you
1298
01:54:10,219 --> 01:54:14,222
There's only one way to say
1299
01:54:14,806 --> 01:54:17,517
I love you
1300
01:54:19,269 --> 01:54:22,897
BOTH:
You could search the years away
1301
01:54:24,316 --> 01:54:27,860
That old cliché
1302
01:54:28,779 --> 01:54:30,780
Is the first of May
1303
01:54:31,031 --> 01:54:32,281
Too old...
1304
01:54:33,075 --> 01:54:36,118
... for new love
1305
01:54:38,664 --> 01:54:42,124
It's easy to say
1306
01:54:44,419 --> 01:54:46,254
It's easy
1307
01:54:46,755 --> 01:54:50,132
As A, B, C
1308
01:54:51,093 --> 01:54:55,638
I love you
1309
01:54:58,308 --> 01:55:00,393
Love you
1310
01:55:03,855 --> 01:55:06,023
Love you
1311
01:55:11,280 --> 01:55:12,863
That is pretty.
1312
01:55:13,865 --> 01:55:16,325
Yeah. Thank you.
1313
01:55:17,703 --> 01:55:21,205
I was going to call it,
"I Love You, Samantha"...
1314
01:55:22,082 --> 01:55:24,333
... but some old hack
got there before me.
1315
01:55:24,835 --> 01:55:27,003
It's the thought that counts.
1316
01:55:27,379 --> 01:55:28,754
Yeah.
1317
01:55:29,840 --> 01:55:31,424
Uh...
1318
01:55:32,509 --> 01:55:34,176
— Sam?
— Hm?
1319
01:55:39,600 --> 01:55:41,559
Do you want to get married?
1320
01:55:51,737 --> 01:55:53,154
No.
1321
01:55:53,405 --> 01:55:55,114
Oh, um...
1322
01:55:56,199 --> 01:55:57,742
Why not?
1323
01:55:57,909 --> 01:55:59,702
Just as a matter of interest.
1324
01:55:59,870 --> 01:56:03,205
We spend too much time
arguing and not enough making love.
1325
01:56:03,415 --> 01:56:06,208
I could work on that.
1326
01:56:06,376 --> 01:56:09,587
You know, just reverse that trend.
1327
01:56:10,213 --> 01:56:12,757
Make a lot of love,
and just that much arguing.
1328
01:56:13,008 --> 01:56:15,551
— As easy as that?
— You've got it.
1329
01:56:15,761 --> 01:56:18,054
It would make a difference.
1330
01:56:18,221 --> 01:56:20,681
So you'll think about it?
1331
01:56:21,683 --> 01:56:23,559
— Unless you want to argue.
— Oh, no.
1332
01:56:25,395 --> 01:56:27,229
I want to make a cup of coffee.
1333
01:56:35,656 --> 01:56:37,073
And think about it.
1334
01:56:44,164 --> 01:56:46,248
GIRL: Any action?
NEIGHBOR: Ehh.
1335
01:56:46,708 --> 01:56:49,877
She's in the kitchen.
He's playing the piano.
1336
01:56:50,796 --> 01:56:52,213
And I've had it!
1337
01:56:53,048 --> 01:56:54,715
That's it, George!
1338
01:56:54,925 --> 01:56:58,761
For one year I've been providing
X-rated entertainment...
1339
01:56:58,970 --> 01:57:02,306
... and you reciprocate with PG!
1340
01:57:02,599 --> 01:57:05,559
It's an iniquitous arrangement!
1341
01:57:06,687 --> 01:57:09,480
— What's iniquitous?
— I show him mine, he don't show his!
1342
01:57:09,731 --> 01:57:12,775
Come on, Rapunzel.
From now on, we do it in the dark!
1343
01:57:39,970 --> 01:57:42,638
[RAVEL'S "BOLERO" PLAYS]
1344
01:57:52,274 --> 01:57:56,652
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
1345
02:02:14,077 --> 02:02:16,078
[ENGLISH - US - SDH]
95785
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