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www.titlovi.com
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You know that moment when
you finally understand life?
3
00:00:34,875 --> 00:00:36,000
You just get it?
4
00:00:38,834 --> 00:00:41,750
Well, this was my moment.
5
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:45,917
I got it. Everything and everyone in
my life fit into a neat, little box.
6
00:00:46,542 --> 00:00:48,917
Here are the individualist
hipster clones...
7
00:00:49,709 --> 00:00:51,583
and the better-than-you bankers.
8
00:00:51,618 --> 00:00:53,875
See?
9
00:00:55,542 --> 00:00:58,208
I knew exactly what was what, who
was who and most importantly who I am.
10
00:00:58,875 --> 00:01:00,834
Aw, the yummy mummies.
11
00:01:02,709 --> 00:01:03,674
Look, we all do it.
12
00:01:03,709 --> 00:01:06,875
We give ourselves labels
to feel we belong.
13
00:01:07,375 --> 00:01:10,542
Silly, really. Because waking up
to yourself is about letting go
14
00:01:10,577 --> 00:01:12,458
of who you imagine yourself to
be.
15
00:01:13,125 --> 00:01:15,709
Of course, I had yet to learn
that.
16
00:01:16,041 --> 00:01:20,917
Yep. No. I'm up.
I'm gonna take on the world.
17
00:01:27,166 --> 00:01:28,417
Oh!
18
00:02:13,375 --> 00:02:14,417
Fuck!
19
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,291
Look smart, everyone! She's
almost here.
20
00:02:44,917 --> 00:02:47,208
-Could I get that deposition, Charles?
-Yes, yes.
21
00:02:47,243 --> 00:02:49,500
Could I get a smile too
for Sophie's last day?
22
00:02:51,125 --> 00:02:53,458
Terrifying as usual. Thank you.
23
00:03:22,125 --> 00:03:23,208
Surprise!
24
00:03:23,458 --> 00:03:28,166
You do not do that to someone!
Oh!
25
00:03:31,333 --> 00:03:33,173
I'll be sad to leave the firm.
26
00:03:33,208 --> 00:03:35,000
Glad to see the back of you lot,
of course.
27
00:03:35,035 --> 00:03:35,500
Yay!
28
00:03:37,208 --> 00:03:40,583
Yes, Olivia, thank you for the surprise.
I can tell you were the one behind it.
29
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,875
And now for another
surprise...
30
00:03:55,875 --> 00:03:57,542
I'm gonna be a mum.
That's right. I'm having a baby.
31
00:03:58,208 --> 00:04:01,417
Thank you.
32
00:04:20,333 --> 00:04:21,417
Yay!
33
00:04:28,083 --> 00:04:32,041
Shoo! Go on. Shoo! Go on! Fuck
off! Go get the mouse that's...
34
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,458
not this one.
35
00:04:35,959 --> 00:04:37,959
That was rather embarrassing,
wasn't it?
36
00:04:38,750 --> 00:04:40,125
-Excruciating stuff.
-Yes.
37
00:04:40,959 --> 00:04:43,458
Thank you. Much better
adjective.
38
00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:49,458
-It is possible, you know.
-Yeah! Sure, yes. I mean...
39
00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:53,041
that was always the plan. Um...
40
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,208
but then you wake up after yet
another pointless relationship
41
00:04:59,243 --> 00:05:00,291
and you realize...
42
00:05:01,542 --> 00:05:04,208
the only thing you ever truly
wanted, you left up to fate.
43
00:05:04,542 --> 00:05:05,625
And now it's too late.
44
00:05:06,625 --> 00:05:10,625
-No chance with the current?
-She's barely 12.
45
00:05:11,709 --> 00:05:16,458
Unfortunately, I am
completely obsessed with her.
46
00:05:18,625 --> 00:05:20,625
-Finally happy.
-You don't look very happy.
47
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:24,500
So...
48
00:05:27,250 --> 00:05:28,375
who's the man then?
49
00:05:28,917 --> 00:05:29,959
No man.
50
00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:34,958
A woman needs a man like a fish
needs a bicycle and all that.
51
00:05:34,993 --> 00:05:38,667
-Yes, but who's like a man?
-We are, quite literally, two women.
52
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:44,959
Yes, but top or bottom sort of thing.
I mean, how does it fit together?
53
00:05:47,875 --> 00:05:50,083
Charles, please. Stop doing
that.
54
00:05:52,458 --> 00:05:55,417
-What do you call this piece?
-Dot.
55
00:05:56,125 --> 00:05:57,667
-Do you know what it represents?
-What?
56
00:05:57,959 --> 00:06:00,840
-Fuck all!
-Don't say that.
57
00:06:00,875 --> 00:06:03,590
I literally spent all day,
creating a full stop.
58
00:06:03,625 --> 00:06:06,375
But this what being a
struggling artist is all about.
59
00:06:06,410 --> 00:06:08,788
Yeah, but when do you
stop saying "struggling"
60
00:06:08,823 --> 00:06:11,166
-and just realize that you are not one.
-Never.
61
00:06:11,667 --> 00:06:13,041
If I'm all right with it,
you can be too, you know.
62
00:06:13,333 --> 00:06:15,750
Alex, that's not who you are.
63
00:06:18,041 --> 00:06:19,542
How was your day?
64
00:06:22,875 --> 00:06:24,709
Lovely, thank you.
65
00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:28,542
Um... I did get us a new pet.
66
00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:31,542
Her name's Maureen.
67
00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:35,458
There are ways to address
procrastination, as we discussed.
68
00:06:35,493 --> 00:06:35,542
Are there?
69
00:06:38,375 --> 00:06:39,333
Are there?
70
00:07:16,083 --> 00:07:18,250
-I know...
-You do?
71
00:07:18,750 --> 00:07:20,917
I need to get up and face the
world.
72
00:07:28,083 --> 00:07:29,625
Actually, um...
73
00:07:32,041 --> 00:07:33,709
I was going to ask you to marry
me.
74
00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:42,792
-Have you got a ring?
-Yes! No, I don't. It...
75
00:07:43,291 --> 00:07:47,562
-More of an "in theory" situation.
-You just proposed to me in theory?
76
00:07:47,597 --> 00:07:51,834
I mean, do you think we should?
Because, then we'll be as close as...
77
00:07:53,291 --> 00:07:56,166
you know, family and we could...
78
00:07:59,417 --> 00:08:00,959
All those lovely tax benefits.
79
00:08:01,583 --> 00:08:03,667
-You've not proposed before, have you?
-Is it too soon?
80
00:08:04,583 --> 00:08:08,041
It is too soon. Yep. It
probably...
81
00:08:09,458 --> 00:08:12,423
Ignore me. I've had a lot of
coffee.
82
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:14,625
And now you're literally taking
your proposal back?
83
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,583
Got me divorce papers through,
this morning.
84
00:08:17,583 --> 00:08:21,458
-John!
-Most people just say good morning, John!
85
00:08:21,875 --> 00:08:23,500
As long as she gives me my
signed football back, I'm happy.
86
00:08:23,535 --> 00:08:26,250
Oh, I'm sure she will.
87
00:08:26,583 --> 00:08:28,959
-So, you're a single man, now?
-Yeah!
88
00:08:28,994 --> 00:08:31,208
Gosh! You can party, date and...
89
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:35,667
- ...travel the world.
- Grow my hair a bit.
90
00:08:35,917 --> 00:08:37,166
- And that.
- Have a divorce party.
91
00:08:37,201 --> 00:08:39,256
Oh, that's classy.
92
00:08:39,291 --> 00:08:40,792
- Thank you!
- Goodbye, John!
93
00:08:42,500 --> 00:08:42,792
What you doin'?
94
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,917
Are you two doing stuff?
95
00:09:24,458 --> 00:09:27,709
Look at him. Mr.
Family Man.
96
00:09:28,375 --> 00:09:30,834
If we were still kids, I'd go
over there and give him a wedgie.
97
00:09:31,750 --> 00:09:32,875
Those trousers are doing the
job for you.
98
00:09:35,083 --> 00:09:40,333
-Do you ever think about that?
-You brother's ass. Daily, yeah.
99
00:09:40,917 --> 00:09:42,131
I wish I had the courage to be
different,
100
00:09:42,166 --> 00:09:46,208
to stand alone and accept
that I have feelings for men.
101
00:09:46,834 --> 00:09:50,000
-I just can't deal with the stigma.
-Just 'cause, lately I've been--
102
00:09:52,083 --> 00:09:56,000
I've just been thinking, I don't
know, what a great mum you'd make.
103
00:10:01,166 --> 00:10:02,542
So that's what it was about.
104
00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:05,917
-What?
-The anti-proposal.
105
00:10:08,125 --> 00:10:10,458
-No.
-That's why you had no ring.
106
00:10:11,083 --> 00:10:13,959
Look, were we-- You know, I don't--
We haven't broached that, have we?
107
00:10:14,709 --> 00:10:19,667
-The kid thing? Have we covered that?
-Uh, yeah. Date two.
108
00:10:19,917 --> 00:10:23,917
You asked me, and I said maybe,
but like, not for years.
109
00:10:26,333 --> 00:10:27,458
Okay.
110
00:10:30,625 --> 00:10:32,208
Well, you didn't shut it down.
111
00:10:33,417 --> 00:10:35,750
-Did you?
-That was ten months ago.
112
00:10:36,125 --> 00:10:37,458
Get ready, people!
113
00:10:40,834 --> 00:10:42,625
You've seen my bank balance, huh? I
don't know if I'm ready. If I'm ever...
114
00:10:43,166 --> 00:10:45,959
-gonna be ready.
-Yeah. Yes.
115
00:10:46,583 --> 00:10:48,208
Ah! Ah! Ah!
116
00:10:50,709 --> 00:10:50,834
Are those tears?
117
00:11:00,083 --> 00:11:02,333
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
118
00:11:03,041 --> 00:11:04,250
Um...
119
00:11:05,834 --> 00:11:07,917
I'm sorry. I know you're not
ready.
120
00:11:10,834 --> 00:11:12,875
But Alex, I'm almost 40.
121
00:11:15,667 --> 00:11:16,792
The shop is closing.
122
00:11:18,291 --> 00:11:21,542
I know that's not terribly Gloria
Steinem of me but it's true.
123
00:11:26,792 --> 00:11:27,834
This is a thing, isn't it?
124
00:11:28,917 --> 00:11:29,959
I should have been more honest.
125
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:32,667
How long have you wanted this?
126
00:11:34,417 --> 00:11:35,834
Only since I was five.
127
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:37,834
You should have been more
honest.
128
00:11:41,458 --> 00:11:43,083
I just didn't want to lose you.
129
00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:45,291
You have me.
130
00:11:46,834 --> 00:11:47,000
This is it. I'm done.
131
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,417
I want us to be a family.
132
00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:01,583
I need time...
133
00:12:02,792 --> 00:12:07,583
-time to think.
-Sure. Oh, absolutely, yeah. Cool.
134
00:12:08,041 --> 00:12:09,250
No pressure.
135
00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:13,500
Happy New Year.
136
00:12:15,542 --> 00:12:16,667
Happy New Year.
137
00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:39,417
So, you dumped her?
138
00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:42,333
No, Alf. She asked for a baby.
Not a kidney.
139
00:12:42,368 --> 00:12:43,834
That would be way less hassle.
140
00:12:44,792 --> 00:12:46,959
-I said I'd think about it.
-Who would have it?
141
00:12:47,458 --> 00:12:48,542
You?
142
00:12:49,959 --> 00:12:52,542
You'll never have sex again.
Pregnancy fucks with your vagina, man.
143
00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:54,875
She wants to do it. There's
no way I'm shitting out a kid.
144
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,041
-How many of these we've had?
-Like...
145
00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:03,125
three... each.
146
00:13:03,709 --> 00:13:07,542
-The guy said just have a half.
-It'll be mellow. It's always mellow.
147
00:13:10,417 --> 00:13:11,750
What is happening?
148
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,250
It just won't stop.
149
00:13:14,709 --> 00:13:15,333
We're all gonna die.
150
00:13:43,709 --> 00:13:48,125
- Hey! You made it.
- Of course, we did.
151
00:13:48,625 --> 00:13:50,625
We needed the alcohol.
152
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:53,041
Well, I'm just glad
you didn't feel intimidated.
153
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,834
Happy divorce.
154
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:58,000
Thank you very much, Olivia.
I'm heartbroken, you know?
155
00:13:58,417 --> 00:14:00,458
- Hang on in there.
- Thank you, Alex.
156
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:03,041
Just BTW, I can see right
through that top.
157
00:14:04,667 --> 00:14:07,709
Oh, oh! Mojitos are up!
158
00:14:07,744 --> 00:14:12,792
Come on!
159
00:14:18,166 --> 00:14:20,840
Babe.
160
00:14:20,875 --> 00:14:23,125
-I'm still not talking to you, okay?
-I'm sorry.
161
00:14:25,709 --> 00:14:28,333
Those brownies were stronger
than expected and to be fair...
162
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,458
that ride cannot be safe for
kids.
163
00:14:30,834 --> 00:14:33,250
-Alex, this is not the way to behave.
-I know.
164
00:14:33,285 --> 00:14:35,632
I just got bored of not getting
anything done
165
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:38,000
-and wanted to have some fun, I am trying.
-Well, just hurry up!
166
00:14:38,709 --> 00:14:40,209
-Hurry up!
-Yes!
167
00:14:40,244 --> 00:14:41,709
Girls? Really?
168
00:14:42,166 --> 00:14:44,520
Isn't this something about MTV
in the 90's?
169
00:14:44,555 --> 00:14:46,875
I think those two will fancy you
whatever.
170
00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:51,750
Alex, I need you to be the
person that you plan to be sooner.
171
00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:53,083
Why?
172
00:14:53,625 --> 00:14:56,250
Becau-- because you're
going to be a mother.
173
00:15:01,375 --> 00:15:02,500
I've started already...
174
00:15:07,542 --> 00:15:08,041
the insemination program.
175
00:15:12,417 --> 00:15:14,250
Surprise.
176
00:15:15,125 --> 00:15:15,208
Yay.
177
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,500
How could you do this?
178
00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,208
Huh?
179
00:15:21,041 --> 00:15:22,667
You promised me time to think.
180
00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:26,333
I just thought I'd give it a
shot and see.
181
00:15:26,625 --> 00:15:29,250
- This is our life.
- Alex, I couldn't wait.
182
00:15:32,959 --> 00:15:34,041
Not any longer.
183
00:15:35,792 --> 00:15:38,000
This was never about me.
184
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:44,840
You'll be a great mother--
185
00:15:44,875 --> 00:15:46,417
Stop telling me what I'm
fucking great at.
186
00:15:46,452 --> 00:15:47,417
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
187
00:15:48,959 --> 00:15:49,583
I'm going to go back to our house
and give us both time to cool off.
188
00:15:49,618 --> 00:15:51,625
I don't wanna see you.
189
00:15:54,750 --> 00:15:56,125
-Fine. I'll go to my parents.
-Fine.
190
00:15:56,458 --> 00:15:58,291
Fuck!
191
00:16:05,667 --> 00:16:10,291
-Ah-ha! Where's Olivia?
-Huh! I've been left behind.
192
00:16:10,792 --> 00:16:11,834
You okay?
193
00:16:13,208 --> 00:16:15,458
"I make so many beginnings,
there will never be an end."
194
00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:17,458
-I'm not quite following.
-Mm.
195
00:16:17,750 --> 00:16:21,291
Little Women. You should read
it, John.
196
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:23,667
In the meantime...
197
00:16:23,959 --> 00:16:25,959
do you fancy forgetting
who the fuck we are for a bit?
198
00:16:25,994 --> 00:16:29,542
-Oh! Most definitely.
-Fantastic!
199
00:16:35,709 --> 00:16:38,423
- Green juice, darling?
- No, thanks, Mummy.
200
00:16:38,458 --> 00:16:42,333
-Nice to have our princess home.
-Just the damn best.
201
00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:45,291
Wish you had an argument
with your flatmate every week.
202
00:16:45,326 --> 00:16:48,333
-Girlfriend.
-Life partner, darling.
203
00:16:48,792 --> 00:16:51,500
Well, we'll be here when it
doesn't work out, won't we, love?
204
00:16:51,535 --> 00:16:52,709
Absolutely!
205
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:04,166
Good morning, Alex.
206
00:17:12,166 --> 00:17:13,125
Do you wanna go again?
207
00:17:14,208 --> 00:17:14,333
Oh, my God.
208
00:17:24,667 --> 00:17:27,041
Oh, thank God!
209
00:17:27,875 --> 00:17:31,250
Oh, Alex, I can't believe I
did that without telling you.
210
00:17:31,285 --> 00:17:33,288
-I'm so sorry.
-I'm so sorry.
211
00:17:33,323 --> 00:17:35,291
-I'm so sorry.
-So sorry.
212
00:17:35,326 --> 00:17:35,375
So sorry?
213
00:17:37,917 --> 00:17:40,667
Let's just have a baby. Huh?
Let's do whatever you want.
214
00:17:41,125 --> 00:17:41,208
Whatever it takes.
215
00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:46,792
-Really?
-Let's mess up your VJ, good and proper.
216
00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:49,625
That's a yes.
217
00:17:51,542 --> 00:17:53,458
Yay!
218
00:17:57,542 --> 00:18:00,917
Thank you! Because, Alex...
219
00:18:02,709 --> 00:18:04,291
this is about you.
220
00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:08,875
I can't do this without you
being part of it, you know?
221
00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:12,048
-It'll be easy, right?
-Yes!
222
00:18:12,083 --> 00:18:15,250
Having a baby is just like having
a mate around who's always pissed.
223
00:18:15,750 --> 00:18:18,625
They just need propping up now
and again, and given fluids.
224
00:18:19,458 --> 00:18:21,166
-Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure.
-Sweet!
225
00:18:30,417 --> 00:18:33,291
So I would ask you to find him
accountable for what he did.
226
00:18:33,326 --> 00:18:36,500
In summation, clause 14 states
that--
227
00:18:39,250 --> 00:18:40,500
That's not what it states.
228
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:42,250
Clause 14--
229
00:18:44,792 --> 00:18:47,208
Are you able
to continue, Miss Miller?
230
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:57,333
Um...
231
00:18:58,125 --> 00:19:00,208
no, actually.
232
00:19:01,458 --> 00:19:04,395
My colleague will tell you
about that clause.
233
00:19:04,430 --> 00:19:07,333
If you will please excuse me,
I have to vomit.
234
00:19:22,625 --> 00:19:24,542
There's more out here
if you need 'em babe.
235
00:19:25,583 --> 00:19:28,417
Say a prayer to the god of
fertility.
236
00:19:28,452 --> 00:19:30,458
That's not gonna happen. Go!
237
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,750
It's positive!
238
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:12,215
I'm pregnant!
239
00:20:12,250 --> 00:20:14,625
Snap. I'm pregnant.
240
00:20:15,542 --> 00:20:18,208
No, I am. I am pregnant.
241
00:20:22,125 --> 00:20:22,375
What?
242
00:20:27,875 --> 00:20:31,709
-I don't understand what happened.
-Oh, poor you. You're all confused.
243
00:20:32,041 --> 00:20:36,417
Meanwhile, you have just put my
entire life in a salad spinner of fuck!
244
00:20:36,959 --> 00:20:39,125
I was so drunk.
245
00:20:40,083 --> 00:20:42,173
And you went behind my back
and that really hurt.
246
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:44,542
So, you thought you'd sleep with
a man you nicknamed scrotum pole?
247
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,458
I don't remember anything.
248
00:20:47,709 --> 00:20:50,375
You remembered how
to fuck, obviously!
249
00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:54,458
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
250
00:20:54,493 --> 00:20:58,125
Look how much you're fucking
making me swear!
251
00:21:01,875 --> 00:21:04,792
I just don't understand why you keep
messing everything up for yourself.
252
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,875
-Oh, what's this?
-Bag.
253
00:21:10,910 --> 00:21:12,750
-What?
-Bag. Paper bag.
254
00:21:24,542 --> 00:21:25,375
Just--
255
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,750
-We were so good together.
-I know.
256
00:21:30,750 --> 00:21:32,417
I know
257
00:21:42,458 --> 00:21:45,000
You can't be the one
to comfort me over you.
258
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:17,417
Oh, yes!
259
00:22:18,834 --> 00:22:20,667
Olivia, look.
260
00:22:22,458 --> 00:22:26,500
-She gave me my ball back.
-That's fantastic! I'm so happy for you.
261
00:22:29,583 --> 00:22:30,458
Let's have a look.
262
00:22:37,250 --> 00:22:38,333
Okay.
263
00:22:41,250 --> 00:22:42,625
Can I have my ball back now?
264
00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:47,041
So just go romcom on her arse.
265
00:22:47,625 --> 00:22:48,500
'Scuse me?
266
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,667
The big romantic gesture.
Richard Gere, roses,
267
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,166
so she no longer feels like a
hooker.
268
00:22:54,417 --> 00:22:57,375
Then I'm literally gonna be a
mum to two kids. Just like that.
269
00:22:57,875 --> 00:22:59,625
-You're already having one.
-Not without her, I'm not.
270
00:23:02,375 --> 00:23:04,959
Does that make me a shitty
person?
271
00:23:05,208 --> 00:23:08,291
It's not a story I'd tell them
at their graduation but no...
272
00:23:09,041 --> 00:23:10,166
you're all right.
273
00:23:10,875 --> 00:23:11,500
I don't know what to do.
274
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:15,000
Can you be without her?
275
00:23:16,583 --> 00:23:18,291
-No.
-Not a chance?
276
00:23:20,166 --> 00:23:22,333
-Not one.
-There you go then.
277
00:23:23,166 --> 00:23:24,458
And now...
278
00:23:25,709 --> 00:23:26,542
to celebrate.
279
00:23:27,750 --> 00:23:31,792
-I'm gonna have a baby, Alf.
-Yeah, I know. I sympathize.
280
00:23:33,041 --> 00:23:33,583
This'll make you feel better.
281
00:23:36,625 --> 00:23:37,500
Yep.
282
00:23:52,917 --> 00:23:54,750
Whoa!
283
00:23:56,417 --> 00:23:58,000
That is so not cool.
284
00:24:15,458 --> 00:24:18,333
I can't sell a single painting.
285
00:24:18,834 --> 00:24:20,583
Not even the one with me tits
out.
286
00:24:21,125 --> 00:24:25,625
So, I sold all those cool art
supplies and I got you this.
287
00:24:26,792 --> 00:24:30,667
I can't do this on me own. And
I don't think you can, either.
288
00:24:42,375 --> 00:24:43,792
Have you smelled this thing?
289
00:24:45,291 --> 00:24:47,417
It's vintage, isn't it?
290
00:25:05,875 --> 00:25:07,500
And why exactly do you think I
wouldn't be able to do this on my own?
291
00:25:08,125 --> 00:25:11,375
I have support.
Friends, my family, friends.
292
00:25:11,667 --> 00:25:12,875
-Which friends?
-Friends.
293
00:25:13,750 --> 00:25:14,625
Maureen?
294
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,507
Well what do you bring, Alex?
295
00:25:17,542 --> 00:25:19,417
And you need to get that
fucking mouse out of my house.
296
00:25:20,709 --> 00:25:20,834
I'm home all day.
297
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:24,125
Got a thing for Pixar.
298
00:25:24,625 --> 00:25:25,792
To be honest, I hadn't thought
beyond the pram.
299
00:25:27,959 --> 00:25:31,083
I just know that if you
were ever able to forgive me,
300
00:25:31,118 --> 00:25:34,208
then I would love to be the
mum that you think I can be.
301
00:25:35,834 --> 00:25:39,709
So, I'd like to call today,
"Lez be having some babies!"
302
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,250
-No jokes.
-Understood. Not a laughing matter.
303
00:25:42,792 --> 00:25:44,542
-Alex.
-Present.
304
00:25:45,208 --> 00:25:49,083
Yep. We've established that. My
sister has asked me to do this
305
00:25:49,458 --> 00:25:53,375
quite heinous bit of mediation today,
so you can both be sure you're entering
306
00:25:53,410 --> 00:25:55,041
-into this agreement--
-Family. Family.
307
00:25:55,667 --> 00:25:59,041
Bit of a stretch but anyway...
with clarity and closure.
308
00:25:59,458 --> 00:26:00,583
Yeah, fine. I'll agree to
anything.
309
00:26:00,959 --> 00:26:04,041
How romantic. Now here are
the hard and fast rules.
310
00:26:04,333 --> 00:26:07,083
Never again shall either of you mention
that Alex slept with someone else.
311
00:26:07,375 --> 00:26:09,625
- Fine.
-You have to meet each other's parents.
312
00:26:10,667 --> 00:26:12,959
-Fine.
-And you have to tell John about the baby.
313
00:26:12,994 --> 00:26:15,500
-No fucking way!
-He's the father.
314
00:26:16,166 --> 00:26:19,333
We're talking about the man who thought
LGBT was just a really big sandwich.
315
00:26:19,368 --> 00:26:21,166
You slept with him.
316
00:26:22,333 --> 00:26:23,208
Oh! I think we agreed no
more mention of the S word.
317
00:26:23,243 --> 00:26:25,291
-Shut up, Ben!
-That's mature.
318
00:26:25,542 --> 00:26:28,250
Why would you want him involved?
He almost ruined us.
319
00:26:28,667 --> 00:26:32,542
How else are we going to afford
two children on one salary?
320
00:26:32,577 --> 00:26:35,291
Well, we don't need childcare.
I'll look after them.
321
00:26:35,326 --> 00:26:36,792
No Alex, you're an artist.
322
00:26:38,583 --> 00:26:40,375
You can't give up your dream.
323
00:26:43,208 --> 00:26:44,667
You are my dream.
324
00:26:44,917 --> 00:26:45,757
Shut up, Ben.
325
00:26:45,792 --> 00:26:47,917
You two are perfect for each
other.
326
00:26:49,083 --> 00:26:53,417
I want to do this properly.
One has to do the right thing.
327
00:26:54,125 --> 00:26:55,583
You've started talking like the
Queen.
328
00:26:56,792 --> 00:26:56,917
Must be serious.
329
00:26:58,792 --> 00:27:00,291
That's her serious face, too.
330
00:27:00,709 --> 00:27:01,834
Or she's having a stroke.
331
00:27:02,250 --> 00:27:04,875
-Shut up!
-Okay, why am I here?
332
00:27:15,291 --> 00:27:17,834
-Hey, John.
-Oh, hey!
333
00:27:18,125 --> 00:27:20,834
- I'm so glad you're talking to me again.
- -Who's the daddy?
334
00:27:21,250 --> 00:27:23,333
- You what?
- Who's the daddy?
335
00:27:24,458 --> 00:27:25,500
Huh?
336
00:27:28,625 --> 00:27:32,166
Who. Is. The. Daddy?
337
00:27:33,291 --> 00:27:35,750
I am the daddy.
338
00:27:36,917 --> 00:27:39,458
-Yes, you are.
-Excuse me?
339
00:27:39,709 --> 00:27:42,208
She's pregnant.
You are going to be a daddy.
340
00:27:42,667 --> 00:27:44,959
And we're gonna need shitloads
of money.
341
00:27:47,875 --> 00:27:50,834
-Well, I did it.
-Yes, you did.
342
00:27:50,869 --> 00:27:51,875
Mm-hmm.
343
00:27:55,375 --> 00:27:58,583
Why can we never do that?
344
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:06,542
-I thought you meant sexually.
-No, she didn't. That was our joke.
345
00:28:07,083 --> 00:28:07,834
You did not mean sexually?
346
00:28:08,333 --> 00:28:10,583
I had sex with that.
347
00:28:11,750 --> 00:28:13,840
And now there's a baby
gonna be coming out of that.
348
00:28:13,875 --> 00:28:17,959
Yes, thank you for the biology lecture.
Come in before you throw up on that.
349
00:28:22,417 --> 00:28:25,208
Look, mate... I don't expect
anything.
350
00:28:25,243 --> 00:28:26,959
Maybe money.
351
00:28:27,667 --> 00:28:30,000
-You work in banking, right?
-No, not anymore.
352
00:28:31,834 --> 00:28:34,083
No. I own and run a site called
Mannism.
353
00:28:34,875 --> 00:28:35,000
It's um...
354
00:28:36,375 --> 00:28:40,000
It's a-- It's a-- A place where
alpha males can connect and...
355
00:28:42,625 --> 00:28:44,375
share the message of the
ancient Greek word, " Arete".
356
00:28:45,041 --> 00:28:48,291
-"Be the best you can be."
-So, money's out then.
357
00:28:48,959 --> 00:28:50,041
Well...
358
00:28:51,208 --> 00:28:51,917
you keep doing that.
359
00:28:53,166 --> 00:28:55,083
Because, I'm perfectly cool
raising this baby with Olivia.
360
00:28:57,125 --> 00:28:58,250
-I'm also having a baby.
-Bollocks.
361
00:28:58,667 --> 00:29:00,542
Actually, it's certain.
362
00:29:02,125 --> 00:29:05,417
No, not that. Congrats or whatever.
Bollocks to me not playing a part.
363
00:29:05,452 --> 00:29:08,083
I am the father!
That little one needs a dad.
364
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:13,500
Please. Please let me be the
dad. Plus, I live right next door.
365
00:29:14,208 --> 00:29:15,041
I have a complex vocabulary.
366
00:29:18,875 --> 00:29:22,458
You can't drive. I can
drive you! If you want.
367
00:29:22,493 --> 00:29:26,340
Get him out
of this house, now!
368
00:29:26,375 --> 00:29:28,875
-I've heard enough. He knows now.
-Yes.
369
00:29:29,166 --> 00:29:30,041
Off you go, John.
370
00:29:31,625 --> 00:29:34,625
-I cannot believe that is the man
who-- -Turned your girlfriend straight?
371
00:29:34,660 --> 00:29:36,458
-Oh, my God!
-That's what she said.
372
00:29:36,493 --> 00:29:37,875
Sorry, that was right there.
373
00:29:38,250 --> 00:29:41,548
I am so incredibly sorry for
the pain that I have caused you.
374
00:29:41,583 --> 00:29:44,917
If I could go back in time and
change what happened, I would. But...
375
00:29:47,375 --> 00:29:48,583
I'm a great guy.
376
00:29:48,917 --> 00:29:53,250
Let me take you out to lunch, clear
the air, get to know me better.
377
00:29:53,542 --> 00:29:55,125
Yeah? I want to be a part of
this.
378
00:29:57,583 --> 00:29:58,667
This is...
379
00:29:59,500 --> 00:30:00,465
kind of all I've got.
380
00:30:00,500 --> 00:30:03,125
-Aside from Mannism?
-Hail to the Alpha.
381
00:30:03,417 --> 00:30:05,917
Give me a chance?
382
00:30:06,667 --> 00:30:10,083
Go on. Give me a chance.
383
00:30:11,333 --> 00:30:13,375
Aw.
384
00:30:14,625 --> 00:30:16,959
Is it supposed to look like
an underwater alien?
385
00:30:16,994 --> 00:30:18,924
Yes. It is quite revolting,
isn't it?
386
00:30:18,959 --> 00:30:22,041
So, Alex, that membrane which
is protecting the fetus
387
00:30:22,076 --> 00:30:23,834
is known as the amniotic sac.
388
00:30:24,291 --> 00:30:26,792
-That's mingin'. Stop it.
-Yes. Please stop.
389
00:30:29,166 --> 00:30:31,083
-So, you're pregnant too?
-I am.
390
00:30:31,875 --> 00:30:33,604
-And you're both together?
-We are.
391
00:30:33,639 --> 00:30:35,333
-Yes.
-And both pregnant with...
392
00:30:35,834 --> 00:30:37,000
some other people's children?
393
00:30:38,667 --> 00:30:42,458
Well, it's not quite that random. I
was artificially inseminated by a donor.
394
00:30:42,493 --> 00:30:47,709
Oh, yes. Thank you. No need to
elaborate. Very feminist, I'm sure.
395
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,834
Okay, well. Thank you very much.
396
00:30:55,667 --> 00:30:56,417
Are you wearing an underwire
bra?
397
00:30:57,208 --> 00:31:00,173
-Sorry?
-You should stop during pregnancy.
398
00:31:00,208 --> 00:31:02,959
It restricts the growth
of milk glands in your--
399
00:31:04,667 --> 00:31:06,750
-Breasts.
-Hmm.
400
00:31:08,375 --> 00:31:10,458
You need to know these things.
You can't ignore pregnancy.
401
00:31:10,493 --> 00:31:12,166
Sadly.
402
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,687
Um, if my waters break
while I'm out and about,
403
00:31:15,722 --> 00:31:18,375
uh, will it look
like I've just pissed myself?
404
00:31:19,333 --> 00:31:23,083
It's more of a trickle than a--
Oh, dear God-- Gush.
405
00:31:23,118 --> 00:31:27,542
And um, during labor,
is it correct that...
406
00:31:28,333 --> 00:31:30,125
-one can crap oneself?
-I'll give you some leaflets, okay?
407
00:31:31,041 --> 00:31:34,375
Did you know,
I have a painting of my vulva
408
00:31:34,410 --> 00:31:37,674
that would look absolutely
gorgeous in here?
409
00:31:37,709 --> 00:31:40,166
-No, thank you. Goodbye.
Toodle-oo. -Okay, buh-bye. Bye.
410
00:31:44,542 --> 00:31:48,500
How'd we manage to find the one
obstetrician who's weird about vaginas?
411
00:32:11,250 --> 00:32:16,000
Saturdays at 11:00 a.m. Got it.
Thank you. Bye.
412
00:32:17,417 --> 00:32:18,875
-Hello!
-Hello there!
413
00:32:21,709 --> 00:32:23,333
I'm really pleased we got to do
this.
414
00:32:23,667 --> 00:32:25,792
-I'm pleased we could do this, too.
-Yeah.
415
00:32:26,709 --> 00:32:29,500
I appreciated your apology.
416
00:32:30,542 --> 00:32:32,834
Well, I appreciate you saying
that.
417
00:32:34,250 --> 00:32:37,333
-Great! I am starving.
-Sandwiches.
418
00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:40,916
-Oh. This is stilton?
-Yeah.
419
00:32:40,951 --> 00:32:42,215
I don't think I can have it.
420
00:32:42,250 --> 00:32:44,834
Alex was just going on
about this yesterday.
421
00:32:45,333 --> 00:32:47,256
-What, 'cause of the--
-Yeah.
422
00:32:47,291 --> 00:32:50,208
-Oh, I'm so sorry.
-That's okay. I can still have the bread.
423
00:32:50,243 --> 00:32:51,917
I'll just take this.
424
00:33:07,542 --> 00:33:09,375
Yes, um...
425
00:33:11,041 --> 00:33:15,792
-Alex is become quite the pregnancy major.
-That girl's hilarious. Never serious.
426
00:33:16,417 --> 00:33:17,250
She can be quite serious,
though.
427
00:33:17,792 --> 00:33:22,458
No. I think even when she's
serious, it's a little un-serious.
428
00:33:22,493 --> 00:33:24,455
Well, maybe you don't take
what she's saying seriously.
429
00:33:24,490 --> 00:33:26,417
I'm pretty certain she's just
being fun and not serious.
430
00:33:26,452 --> 00:33:29,166
-Well, she does laugh a lot.
-Yeah.
431
00:33:30,458 --> 00:33:33,917
-Like a little squeaky mouse.
-It's quite a big laugh actually, I'd say.
432
00:33:34,291 --> 00:33:36,791
It's big for her,
but pretty small, generally.
433
00:33:36,826 --> 00:33:39,291
I'd say if it's big for her,
it's big for anyone.
434
00:33:39,326 --> 00:33:40,166
-Really?
-Yeah.
435
00:33:41,583 --> 00:33:43,215
- I think, it's more like...
- Something like that.
436
00:33:43,250 --> 00:33:46,792
Obviously, I've been making her laugh
a lot. But it's nothing like that.
437
00:33:46,827 --> 00:33:49,507
No, I hear it quite a lot
like...
438
00:33:49,542 --> 00:33:52,959
-It's more of a--
It's, uh, lower. -No.
439
00:33:53,417 --> 00:33:57,834
Guttural, sort of...
440
00:33:58,500 --> 00:34:00,333
- That sort of...
- No, it's...
441
00:34:00,368 --> 00:34:01,500
It's not like that.
442
00:34:16,834 --> 00:34:18,208
No, I'm thinking of something
else.
443
00:34:28,417 --> 00:34:33,125
So... how was he then?
Big fella? Nice moves?
444
00:34:33,875 --> 00:34:37,250
-Mum, you're kind of missing the point.
-Best news I've heard all year.
445
00:34:38,458 --> 00:34:41,208
-That's great to hear.
-You shagged a bloke.
446
00:34:41,243 --> 00:34:42,417
You're back to yourself again.
447
00:34:42,750 --> 00:34:44,875
What are talking about?
I've never been into blokes.
448
00:34:45,166 --> 00:34:46,632
Oh! What about Turner's son?
449
00:34:46,667 --> 00:34:50,382
I was five. He taught me how
to piss in the sea discretely.
450
00:34:50,417 --> 00:34:53,250
It was hardly a grand romance. It
was more of a very useful life tool.
451
00:34:53,285 --> 00:34:56,709
Well... I just think we've
turned a corner, that's all.
452
00:34:57,542 --> 00:35:00,041
So... are you getting it dealt
with?
453
00:35:01,375 --> 00:35:05,041
No. I'm having it
and raising it with Olivia.
454
00:35:07,750 --> 00:35:09,458
Listen. Listen to me.
455
00:35:10,333 --> 00:35:12,500
Now you know I love you, don't
you?
456
00:35:13,083 --> 00:35:15,291
And I will support any decision
you ever make.
457
00:35:16,125 --> 00:35:19,375
I just think two women raising a
child together is fucking disgusting.
458
00:35:19,875 --> 00:35:20,875
And we're back.
459
00:35:22,083 --> 00:35:23,083
I mean what're you gonna do
when it asks where its daddy is?
460
00:35:23,792 --> 00:35:25,215
John is going to be a part of
their life.
461
00:35:25,250 --> 00:35:28,792
-Oh, so he's still skulking around, is he?
-No. Not like that.
462
00:35:28,827 --> 00:35:32,458
All I'm saying is don't
close off all your options.
463
00:35:33,625 --> 00:35:35,750
Sort yourself out,
concentrate on your career
464
00:35:36,291 --> 00:35:39,083
and see if you can have
a proper baby one day.
465
00:35:53,750 --> 00:35:54,840
What am I gonna teach a
kid?
466
00:35:54,875 --> 00:35:57,291
I'm gonna be a mum
before I've been anything else.
467
00:35:57,326 --> 00:35:58,250
Oh, that's not true.
468
00:35:59,083 --> 00:36:01,625
You were a stoner for a while.
469
00:36:03,667 --> 00:36:05,750
Ah, see, John was definitely
not impersonating your laugh.
470
00:36:08,375 --> 00:36:11,166
Sorry.
Are you gonna finish that?
471
00:36:11,667 --> 00:36:13,291
No. Knock yourself out.
472
00:36:14,750 --> 00:36:16,667
I'm only craving rabbit food
at the moment.
473
00:36:18,333 --> 00:36:19,291
I hate you.
474
00:36:25,333 --> 00:36:27,333
That just makes me pee myself.
475
00:36:27,959 --> 00:36:32,166
-That can scientifically not be true.
-Well, something is making me pee myself.
476
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,125
You know...
477
00:36:37,041 --> 00:36:39,083
I actually don't have
any sympathy for you.
478
00:36:40,834 --> 00:36:42,291
You're gonna have this baby...
479
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,709
your body will snap back and
then you got the kid box ticked.
480
00:36:46,875 --> 00:36:49,625
Do you have any idea how many
thirty-something women
481
00:36:49,660 --> 00:36:51,792
are on horrendous dates right
now?
482
00:36:52,542 --> 00:36:56,166
One eye on the clock and one eye on some
dull bloke sitting opposite them thinking,
483
00:36:56,201 --> 00:36:58,875
"Oh, crap. He'll have to do."
484
00:36:59,709 --> 00:37:02,750
Or lesbians frantically googling,
"Sperm donors with Oxbridge degrees".
485
00:37:02,785 --> 00:37:04,583
Exactly.
486
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,375
-Do you know her?
-No, but she's pregnant.
487
00:37:11,709 --> 00:37:12,792
So?
488
00:37:14,417 --> 00:37:15,542
That's what you do when you're pregnant,
you wave at each other, like cabbies.
489
00:37:16,583 --> 00:37:18,417
Hmm.
490
00:37:19,709 --> 00:37:23,333
"Labor". Yeah. Even the
word makes us feel tense.
491
00:37:24,417 --> 00:37:27,188
This course is gonna equip you
with all the tools and techniques
492
00:37:27,223 --> 00:37:29,959
that you need to challenge the
contemporary over-medicalized,
493
00:37:29,994 --> 00:37:31,715
fear-based, birthing culture
494
00:37:31,750 --> 00:37:34,548
and to remind your body
to let it all go, guys.
495
00:37:34,583 --> 00:37:36,882
Now, no questions till the end
Please remember the rules.
496
00:37:36,917 --> 00:37:40,250
So, some of you are sitting here
in like a refrigerator of terror
497
00:37:41,083 --> 00:37:42,250
and some of you will
be sitting here, doubting,
498
00:37:42,625 --> 00:37:46,041
whether hypnobirthing
works at all. Well...
499
00:37:47,750 --> 00:37:48,625
it-- It does.
500
00:37:50,166 --> 00:37:52,500
It does. Let's start
with the introductions, Alex.
501
00:37:52,535 --> 00:37:53,917
-This is Alex.
-Hi.
502
00:37:54,333 --> 00:37:58,583
And this is Alex's female
life partner, Olivia.
503
00:37:58,618 --> 00:37:59,417
Huh!
504
00:38:00,667 --> 00:38:02,250
I'm just so happy and humbled
to have you in my group, guys.
505
00:38:02,285 --> 00:38:03,375
Oh! Thank you.
506
00:38:04,750 --> 00:38:08,458
Oh, and this is Mike and Maya,
Morgan and Amanda, and Allison...
507
00:38:10,458 --> 00:38:13,041
-Dave.
-and Dave. I know that.
508
00:38:13,076 --> 00:38:14,667
I know that. Right.
509
00:38:15,500 --> 00:38:17,875
Let's talk about pain.
510
00:38:18,458 --> 00:38:19,500
"Pain". What is pain?
511
00:38:21,500 --> 00:38:22,840
It's a rhetorical question.
512
00:38:22,875 --> 00:38:25,000
Pain is being judged by
the color of your skin,
513
00:38:25,792 --> 00:38:29,333
pain is not being allowed to
have a relationship with someone
514
00:38:29,368 --> 00:38:31,000
because they are the
wrong gender. Am I right?
515
00:38:32,291 --> 00:38:34,083
You go, girl.
516
00:38:34,417 --> 00:38:36,646
Pain is being fisted by
a 300-pound rich white guy
517
00:38:36,681 --> 00:38:38,875
because you haven't got
enough money to pay the rent.
518
00:38:39,458 --> 00:38:39,625
What pain is not...
519
00:38:40,792 --> 00:38:42,625
is labor.
520
00:38:43,125 --> 00:38:44,375
-Sweet.
-Right.
521
00:38:44,667 --> 00:38:45,583
- Wait.
- Okay.
522
00:38:46,709 --> 00:38:48,646
Excuse me. Can I be
of some assistance to you?
523
00:38:48,681 --> 00:38:50,583
-Don't start without me.
-What are you doing here?
524
00:38:51,166 --> 00:38:53,208
I have every right to be here.
I'm the father of Alex's baby.
525
00:38:53,243 --> 00:38:55,291
I should be part of the process.
526
00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:57,709
You looked at my planner.
527
00:38:58,834 --> 00:38:59,965
Okay, okay, relax.
528
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,750
You never seen a poly-amorous
relationship before?
529
00:39:02,785 --> 00:39:04,458
-No.
-Yeah. well simmer down.
530
00:39:06,166 --> 00:39:06,834
Welcome, John.
531
00:39:07,208 --> 00:39:09,000
-You are welcome, one and all.
-Yeah, sorry.
532
00:39:09,500 --> 00:39:13,583
Amy, can I just say that we're
not wha--
533
00:39:13,618 --> 00:39:14,799
-what you just said we are.
-Yes.
534
00:39:14,834 --> 00:39:18,875
But, John is the real father
and he's very much welcome.
535
00:39:19,875 --> 00:39:23,041
-Thanks, Alex.
-Is he your sperm donor, too?
536
00:39:23,076 --> 00:39:24,375
Allison, that is enough
judgement.
537
00:39:25,041 --> 00:39:27,083
They're lesbians. They don't
wanna talk about sperms.
538
00:39:27,118 --> 00:39:28,458
Right-O! Sorry.
539
00:39:29,959 --> 00:39:32,000
I'd like you to take your partner's
hand, and put it on the baby's head.
540
00:39:32,035 --> 00:39:35,250
Now, if you're seven months or
under, that's gonna be up here,
541
00:39:35,285 --> 00:39:37,166
under your breastal balcony.
542
00:39:37,625 --> 00:39:41,250
And if you're further along,
it might be down in your minge.
543
00:39:41,285 --> 00:39:42,840
Right. I don't-- What am I
supposed to do?
544
00:39:42,875 --> 00:39:44,125
- I don't have a partner.
- -Oh, I want a part of this.
545
00:39:44,792 --> 00:39:47,882
-I'll be your partner.
-Well, she's my partner, so.
546
00:39:47,917 --> 00:39:49,375
I'd like to be your partner.
Where are you? You up or down?
547
00:39:49,410 --> 00:39:52,250
-I'm up. Yup.
-Here. Right.
548
00:39:52,875 --> 00:39:54,500
-And if you put your hand on my hand...
-Okay.
549
00:39:54,792 --> 00:39:58,750
...feeling that lovely little
bonce there. That feels nice, right?
550
00:39:58,785 --> 00:39:59,917
Yup.
551
00:40:00,375 --> 00:40:01,750
Loving that.
552
00:40:03,542 --> 00:40:06,715
-Olivia, wait.
-Nice breathing today, Alex.
553
00:40:06,750 --> 00:40:09,208
-Yeah. Cheers, John.
-You're looking great, too.
554
00:40:10,083 --> 00:40:13,173
Body's really acknowledging
the pregnancy. It's beautiful.
555
00:40:13,208 --> 00:40:17,667
Olivia, wait. Look, he's harmless.
Like you said he has the right.
556
00:40:17,702 --> 00:40:21,208
I was wrong. He deserves no
rights. He deserves impotency.
557
00:40:21,709 --> 00:40:24,417
You have my word. This is
as close as John will get.
558
00:40:24,709 --> 00:40:28,583
John? Not Skeletor-Mr. String Theory-
Fuck-face-Leaning Tower of Piss?
559
00:40:29,375 --> 00:40:31,959
No? Or The Man Evolution Forgot?
560
00:40:32,750 --> 00:40:34,750
-Just John.
-Just John? Okay.
561
00:40:35,333 --> 00:40:36,834
Got it. Just so now, thanks.
562
00:40:47,792 --> 00:40:50,875
Oh, I did have a couple
of questions... concerns.
563
00:40:50,910 --> 00:40:52,709
Fine.
564
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:56,417
Extremely burnt toast. Can't
get enough of the stuff. Healthy?
565
00:40:56,750 --> 00:40:57,667
Perfectly normal to have
cravings.
566
00:40:57,959 --> 00:41:01,709
-Also-- -I have tons of
energy. Is that normal?
567
00:41:02,875 --> 00:41:05,583
Perhaps, it's 'cause you haven't been
sober this long since you were 12.
568
00:41:06,458 --> 00:41:06,583
Hey, hormones.
569
00:41:08,458 --> 00:41:09,542
Oh, sorry.
570
00:41:10,250 --> 00:41:12,125
It's just that your...
571
00:41:13,125 --> 00:41:16,959
spring-has-sprung pregnancy
is fucking annoying.
572
00:41:17,250 --> 00:41:18,333
Language.
573
00:41:19,291 --> 00:41:20,375
What?
574
00:41:20,792 --> 00:41:21,792
I don't know,
575
00:41:22,083 --> 00:41:23,125
Amy said something about...
576
00:41:23,542 --> 00:41:25,625
baby feeling the meaning
of everything that it hears.
577
00:41:25,660 --> 00:41:25,875
Is that right, Dr. Parks?
578
00:41:26,458 --> 00:41:29,291
Just medical questions, please.
579
00:41:29,625 --> 00:41:34,792
I'm not, uh, singing at crystals or
waving my arms about dancing in a field.
580
00:41:35,041 --> 00:41:37,166
Also, nose bleeds.
I've had millions of them.
581
00:41:37,667 --> 00:41:40,959
In court, debating a case, no idea I
looked like the final scene of Carrie.
582
00:41:40,994 --> 00:41:43,500
The increase in blood supply
puts more pressure on the vessels,
583
00:41:43,535 --> 00:41:46,792
causing them to... easily erupt.
584
00:41:48,959 --> 00:41:51,521
-You still don't want to know?
-No, no thank you.
585
00:41:51,556 --> 00:41:54,083
I guess we don't get many
surprises in life anymore,
586
00:41:54,118 --> 00:41:56,458
-so I thought, why find out.
-How fascinating.
587
00:41:58,291 --> 00:42:00,333
-You ready?
-Yes, yes. Let's find out.
588
00:42:00,368 --> 00:42:00,959
-You will be having...
-Yep.
589
00:42:01,417 --> 00:42:03,583
...a little baby...
590
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:05,875
boy.
591
00:42:06,458 --> 00:42:09,291
Aw.
592
00:42:09,959 --> 00:42:12,041
Baby boy.
593
00:42:13,500 --> 00:42:16,667
-I have a penis inside of me.
-First time for everything. Hey! Hey!
594
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,041
Okay.
595
00:42:26,583 --> 00:42:29,041
That's something I wanted to
feel, I wanted to feel the...
596
00:42:46,792 --> 00:42:47,667
Hello, Charles.
597
00:42:52,625 --> 00:42:54,041
-What's wrong with your face?
-Oh!
598
00:42:54,667 --> 00:42:59,333
-Ah! Pigmentation thingamajig.
-Yes. Yeah.
599
00:42:59,667 --> 00:43:01,667
Same thing happened to my wife
when she was pregnant.
600
00:43:02,709 --> 00:43:06,083
Yes. Turns out I've got every
possible pregnancy ailment going.
601
00:43:06,458 --> 00:43:08,125
I'm actually terribly depressed.
602
00:43:10,500 --> 00:43:14,583
My wife picked up some fake tan,
smothered it all over her face.
603
00:43:14,618 --> 00:43:15,667
Evened it out.
604
00:43:16,750 --> 00:43:18,250
That's actually not a bad idea.
605
00:43:18,750 --> 00:43:21,437
She looked like
an entirely different person.
606
00:43:21,472 --> 00:43:24,125
-Hmm.
-Like I was having a naughty affair.
607
00:43:29,417 --> 00:43:30,959
I just pissed myself, Charles.
608
00:43:32,875 --> 00:43:33,709
Again.
609
00:43:43,500 --> 00:43:44,792
I've missed this.
Just hanging out with someone.
610
00:43:46,333 --> 00:43:48,250
What? Your wife?
611
00:43:48,959 --> 00:43:51,000
I thought you hated her guts.
612
00:43:51,625 --> 00:43:52,917
Actually, she hated mine.
613
00:43:54,709 --> 00:43:54,792
Oh!
614
00:43:56,291 --> 00:43:56,959
-Sorry.
-Yeah.
615
00:44:00,083 --> 00:44:04,083
I guess I just had to make a decision
between being a pioneer and a husband.
616
00:44:04,959 --> 00:44:05,792
Huh?
617
00:44:06,917 --> 00:44:09,709
- I'm sure Steve Jobs had the
same problem.
618
00:44:11,625 --> 00:44:12,792
Or maybe, I wasn't the perfect
husband.
619
00:44:13,625 --> 00:44:15,959
And what's the perfect husband?
620
00:44:16,792 --> 00:44:19,000
Uh, not a total dick?
621
00:44:19,792 --> 00:44:19,917
That's better.
622
00:44:21,625 --> 00:44:23,917
"Be worthy love and love will
come."
623
00:44:25,959 --> 00:44:26,750
Wait.
624
00:44:28,417 --> 00:44:29,792
Are you quoting my favorite
book?
625
00:44:30,166 --> 00:44:32,000
Little Women.
Yeah, you were absolutely right.
626
00:44:32,035 --> 00:44:34,834
I read it cover to cover and I
cried!
627
00:44:35,875 --> 00:44:37,959
Good! And who am I? Joe?
628
00:44:41,250 --> 00:44:41,875
You can be whoever you wanna be.
629
00:44:45,667 --> 00:44:48,083
You are lovely underneath it
all.
630
00:44:50,625 --> 00:44:52,521
-You're lovely everywhere.
-Huh?
631
00:44:52,556 --> 00:44:54,417
So, how're you feeling, anyway?
632
00:44:55,792 --> 00:44:56,875
The bump gets in the way of
everything. Even shaving my legs.
633
00:44:57,959 --> 00:45:00,959
Uh, I need to pee. But it's a
phantom pee.
634
00:45:01,417 --> 00:45:04,834
I go to pee. No pee comes out. You
know, like when you're on drugs.
635
00:45:04,869 --> 00:45:07,125
-What about the constipation?
-You what?
636
00:45:07,792 --> 00:45:10,291
Haven't you got nuts bowels?
I have.
637
00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:13,750
I hate to break it to you,
John, but you're not pregnant.
638
00:45:13,785 --> 00:45:16,875
I have couvade syndrome.
Sympathy pains for the partner.
639
00:45:16,910 --> 00:45:17,542
-Of course you have, darling.
-I do.
640
00:45:17,577 --> 00:45:19,500
Yeah, right.
641
00:45:21,375 --> 00:45:23,250
John was just going.
642
00:45:24,667 --> 00:45:26,583
Was he brushing your hair?
643
00:45:27,041 --> 00:45:29,792
It's getting so thick and I just
needed someone to brush it out for me.
644
00:45:31,375 --> 00:45:35,083
-Mine's not getting any thicker.
-The ones on your chin are. Boom!
645
00:45:37,709 --> 00:45:41,000
I'm sorry. Sorry! I'm
constipated.
646
00:45:43,375 --> 00:45:45,625
-Fake tan.
-Yeah.
647
00:45:46,208 --> 00:45:47,382
Yeah.
648
00:45:47,417 --> 00:45:49,917
For my blotchy and apparently
hairy face.
649
00:45:53,417 --> 00:45:57,500
-Why? Why? Why the fuck is he here?
-Shh.
650
00:45:59,792 --> 00:46:02,667
I'm sorry. Did I swear?
Oh, I'm sorry.
651
00:46:03,208 --> 00:46:05,875
You know I'll fall for you. But
you know what else is really awful?
652
00:46:10,417 --> 00:46:15,291
Trying to get Mr. Chapman convicted of
tax evasion whilst you repeatedly fart
653
00:46:15,326 --> 00:46:20,166
throughout your closing statement.
Mr. Chapman is roaring with laughter.
654
00:46:21,750 --> 00:46:21,875
What do I do?
655
00:46:23,625 --> 00:46:24,709
Nothing.
656
00:46:25,291 --> 00:46:26,917
Just keep on farting.
657
00:46:27,834 --> 00:46:31,041
All I want is to come home for
a snuggle with my girlfriend.
658
00:46:31,417 --> 00:46:33,333
-But she's--
-Oh!
659
00:46:34,250 --> 00:46:36,583
-Oh!
-Oh, God! I'm sorry.
660
00:46:36,959 --> 00:46:38,875
-What did I do?
-I think it kicked.
661
00:46:39,959 --> 00:46:42,709
Oh!
662
00:46:43,333 --> 00:46:45,000
Oh! Oh!
663
00:46:45,834 --> 00:46:46,875
-Can I feel?
-Yep.
664
00:46:47,208 --> 00:46:48,583
-There?
-I can't feel anything.
665
00:46:48,618 --> 00:46:49,709
Wait, wait, wait.
666
00:46:51,792 --> 00:46:53,125
-Still can't--
-Just wait.
667
00:46:55,750 --> 00:46:57,291
-I missed it kick.
-No, shh.
668
00:46:57,583 --> 00:46:58,333
-Babe. No, babe.
-I can't believe.
669
00:46:59,083 --> 00:47:02,125
-I missed the baby kicking.
-No. Shush, shush.
670
00:47:02,625 --> 00:47:05,166
-I'm sorry, I'm so useless.
-Babe, this is gonna have to stop.
671
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,090
-The baby kicked.
-Aw.
672
00:47:11,125 --> 00:47:13,083
-Felt like wind.
-Perhaps, it was wind?
673
00:47:14,500 --> 00:47:15,750
It's entirely possible.
674
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,125
We're going out.
675
00:47:19,625 --> 00:47:22,250
-Do you want me to go?
-Uh, finish your food.
676
00:47:24,500 --> 00:47:25,625
It was nice.
677
00:47:27,834 --> 00:47:31,709
Aw! Bugger me! These boobs, man.
678
00:47:32,667 --> 00:47:35,041
They're so big and
tender.
679
00:47:35,076 --> 00:47:36,458
- We ready?
- Yep.
680
00:47:37,792 --> 00:47:39,792
-What's wrong?
-Boobs. They kill.
681
00:47:39,827 --> 00:47:42,125
Aw. Poor darling.
682
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:44,000
-Yeah.
-Oh!
683
00:47:44,333 --> 00:47:45,166
- Yeah?
- That's nice.
684
00:47:45,201 --> 00:47:46,834
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
685
00:47:46,869 --> 00:47:48,625
Oh, yeah. Mm.
686
00:47:49,166 --> 00:47:52,041
Oh, that's better.
Bye, John.
687
00:48:06,083 --> 00:48:07,382
So, you're in your safe space
688
00:48:07,417 --> 00:48:11,715
and you can feel the warm water
lapping against your ankles.
689
00:48:11,750 --> 00:48:14,208
- And your digestive system...
- Alex, I need to show you something.
690
00:48:14,243 --> 00:48:16,750
- What?
- My-- My penis.
691
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:19,709
-Yeah, I'm set. Thanks.
-Wait, wait.
692
00:48:19,744 --> 00:48:20,625
Please, it'll take two minutes.
693
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:23,750
Your membranes give away. You're
dealing with the-- Hi, guys!
694
00:48:23,785 --> 00:48:26,458
- Hello. How're you? All right?
- Hi, Olivia.
695
00:48:28,583 --> 00:48:32,250
Yeah, you're a tiny
bit late, Allison.
696
00:48:32,667 --> 00:48:34,173
I'm really worried. Be a friend.
697
00:48:34,208 --> 00:48:36,632
- You can feel yourself moving...
-C'mon!
698
00:48:36,667 --> 00:48:39,333
-I did my 96er on you.
-I don't wanna remember anything, okay?
699
00:48:39,750 --> 00:48:41,291
All my best moves wasted on a
lezza.
700
00:48:42,792 --> 00:48:44,792
- Throughout history...
- All right, two minutes. C'mon.
701
00:48:45,250 --> 00:48:49,834
...give birth. You feel
your vagina give way.
702
00:48:50,250 --> 00:48:52,583
You can feel that baby
weighing down on your perineum.
703
00:48:53,291 --> 00:48:56,250
And the urge to shit it out
is now overwhelming you.
704
00:49:00,834 --> 00:49:03,083
-It's orange.
-Am I gonna die?
705
00:49:03,750 --> 00:49:08,041
So, we're gonna do some exercises now to
stretch the internal abdominal muscles.
706
00:49:08,076 --> 00:49:10,882
But it's quite absorbing. I don't
really want to be interrupted.
707
00:49:10,917 --> 00:49:16,417
-Do you know where your "people" are?
-Oh, yes, yes. Sorry. I'll just check.
708
00:49:19,291 --> 00:49:20,417
Leave that there.
709
00:49:24,125 --> 00:49:25,458
And how does that feel?
Does it feel good?
710
00:49:26,125 --> 00:49:28,166
Oh, it's definitely
swollen.
711
00:49:32,583 --> 00:49:35,437
-Oh!
-Oh, God! No, no, no.
712
00:49:35,472 --> 00:49:38,291
-Oh.
-Now, it's John's John.
713
00:49:40,291 --> 00:49:41,875
-Just look at it, babe.
-What?
714
00:49:42,750 --> 00:49:44,458
Can cancer be orange?
715
00:49:47,500 --> 00:49:49,333
Oh!
716
00:49:51,625 --> 00:49:52,667
Oh!
717
00:50:03,709 --> 00:50:05,208
Is that fake tan?
718
00:50:07,417 --> 00:50:08,590
Oh!
719
00:50:08,625 --> 00:50:09,834
Sorry to interrupt.
720
00:50:10,667 --> 00:50:13,917
I've gotta say, you guys, I am
starting to wonder whether this...
721
00:50:15,083 --> 00:50:19,667
arrangement situation... life
choice thing is altogether healthy.
722
00:50:19,702 --> 00:50:22,548
Amy... so sorry. Please ignore
us.
723
00:50:22,583 --> 00:50:27,500
I promise you. We are all
perfectly normal and healthy.
724
00:50:30,625 --> 00:50:32,917
-Is it bleeding? Am I bleeding?
-You are.
725
00:50:35,500 --> 00:50:36,583
Take that and get out.
726
00:50:37,583 --> 00:50:38,709
Please.
727
00:50:39,333 --> 00:50:41,583
Yeah, all of you. Thanks.
728
00:50:49,417 --> 00:50:50,250
Olivia.
729
00:50:50,917 --> 00:50:51,959
Yes?
730
00:50:52,709 --> 00:50:53,166
I'll make this up to you. I
promise.
731
00:50:55,250 --> 00:50:57,333
Just don't masturbate in our
house again.
732
00:50:58,250 --> 00:50:59,166
-That's all I ask.
-Yep.
733
00:51:01,041 --> 00:51:02,834
I most definitely probably
won't.
734
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:25,375
Surprise!
I bought you a yoga teacher.
735
00:51:27,041 --> 00:51:29,417
-Just for an hour.
-Or two.
736
00:51:29,452 --> 00:51:30,250
Maybe.
737
00:51:30,875 --> 00:51:31,959
Cheers, John.
738
00:52:23,625 --> 00:52:24,458
Alex!
739
00:52:31,125 --> 00:52:31,458
Cheers, John.
740
00:53:30,166 --> 00:53:32,333
Well, it's jolly nice to
meet you.
741
00:53:32,667 --> 00:53:35,542
-I love Alex like a sister.
-Have you ever been with a man?
742
00:53:36,208 --> 00:53:38,131
Why'd you ask that?
743
00:53:38,166 --> 00:53:42,000
I just thought it might run in the family.
I had a small bet with myself, actually.
744
00:53:42,375 --> 00:53:45,333
Oh, right. I see.
Well, I take it one of you lost?
745
00:53:45,959 --> 00:53:47,834
Jury's still out.
746
00:53:51,625 --> 00:53:53,333
It was Alex's idea. Get mad at
her.
747
00:53:53,709 --> 00:53:55,583
She wants you to spend more time
with her bestie.
748
00:53:56,166 --> 00:53:57,834
She did not call you her bestie.
749
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:00,417
Isn't pregnancy making her
nicer?
750
00:54:01,792 --> 00:54:03,875
Did you call John your bestie?
751
00:54:04,375 --> 00:54:06,792
Huh? I can't hear you. Talk to
John.
752
00:54:09,625 --> 00:54:13,750
I do hope, Olivia and he'll get on
today. He's a sweet guy underneath.
753
00:54:14,375 --> 00:54:16,166
Underneath what? His trousers?
754
00:54:16,709 --> 00:54:21,792
-Michael, really?
-No. That's cool. It is kinda confusing.
755
00:54:21,827 --> 00:54:26,875
-Oh, is it? So, you're confused?
-No, I mean, to the outside.
756
00:54:27,917 --> 00:54:32,208
Someone once said that, sexual orientation
goes beyond the act of sex and--
757
00:54:32,583 --> 00:54:36,166
Well, I think that makes sense
for what happened with me and John.
758
00:54:36,201 --> 00:54:39,548
So you're-- You're really
straight underneath.
759
00:54:39,583 --> 00:54:44,333
No, I'm gay. I just did something that
wasn't necessarily about my sexuality.
760
00:54:45,041 --> 00:54:47,417
Do you mind if I use that excuse
sometime, love?
761
00:54:48,250 --> 00:54:50,792
My friends say I'm like a gay
man trapped in a woman's body.
762
00:54:51,917 --> 00:54:54,583
We should go shopping sometime.
We'd have a right laugh.
763
00:54:54,917 --> 00:54:58,625
Yes, I'm sure we would have a laugh,
but not 'cause I'm gay. I'm straight.
764
00:54:58,660 --> 00:55:00,475
Oh, yeah. I'm not making any
insinuation,
765
00:55:00,510 --> 00:55:02,291
I'm just saying if you
did happen to be gay.
766
00:55:02,917 --> 00:55:05,959
And you are short of a diva. I
do know all the moves to "Vogue."
767
00:55:05,994 --> 00:55:09,166
-I have a wife. And kids.
-And a bit of a lisp.
768
00:55:10,625 --> 00:55:11,458
I'm just saying.
769
00:55:12,709 --> 00:55:13,792
So, did we bond?
770
00:55:15,166 --> 00:55:17,500
You're not going to go that angry
puce shade whenever I'm needed?
771
00:55:17,535 --> 00:55:20,625
Aw, says the man with the tango
penis.
772
00:55:22,959 --> 00:55:24,458
You've done enough. Thanks.
773
00:55:25,625 --> 00:55:28,500
-What do you mean?
-Maybe, you need to give Alex some space.
774
00:55:30,458 --> 00:55:31,583
Is that what Alex wants?
775
00:55:33,166 --> 00:55:34,250
Yeah.
776
00:55:35,458 --> 00:55:37,792
I think she's being kind
because she thinks you're lonely.
777
00:55:38,125 --> 00:55:39,500
-She said that?
-Yeah.
778
00:55:42,166 --> 00:55:44,458
Why am I asking you,
I'll ask her. Hey, Al.
779
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:49,500
Oh, no.
780
00:55:50,500 --> 00:55:52,959
-What was that for?
-It was an accident.
781
00:55:52,994 --> 00:55:54,083
Oh, no.
782
00:55:54,750 --> 00:55:57,625
God, poor chap. He's soaked.
783
00:55:58,959 --> 00:56:00,083
Does that turn you on?
784
00:56:13,667 --> 00:56:17,834
Hello, you two. Where did you
come from?
785
00:56:18,500 --> 00:56:18,667
Where's your mommy?
786
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:22,959
Where's your mum--
What?
787
00:56:24,375 --> 00:56:25,959
Would you like some chocolate?
788
00:56:27,750 --> 00:56:29,917
Now since you're both so
sweet...
789
00:56:32,166 --> 00:56:33,500
I'm going to give one to you...
790
00:56:34,917 --> 00:56:38,667
and one to you. There you go!
Is that nice?
791
00:56:45,500 --> 00:56:48,709
Okay. Um, you both stop. Stop
it.
792
00:56:49,625 --> 00:56:50,875
Um, do you want to put that--
Put the cucumber back.
793
00:56:53,875 --> 00:56:57,173
- Could you stop that? Do you
want--
794
00:56:57,208 --> 00:57:00,166
Maybe just-- I don't-- I
don't know. Where's your mum--
795
00:57:00,201 --> 00:57:01,625
- Okay, stop that.
- Sam!
796
00:57:01,660 --> 00:57:02,625
Stop that!
797
00:57:04,917 --> 00:57:07,834
Pick this up.
798
00:57:08,083 --> 00:57:12,041
What? I know! I'm a terrible
mother. You-- Oh, my God!
799
00:57:13,208 --> 00:57:16,083
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
800
00:57:16,583 --> 00:57:21,750
I just-- I gave him some chocolate
and then he, um, but then I ran out.
801
00:57:21,785 --> 00:57:23,458
God! He's gonna be up for days.
Fuck!
802
00:57:23,875 --> 00:57:26,709
Okay, she's squashing the mush--
stamping on the mushrooms there.
803
00:57:26,744 --> 00:57:30,497
Right. I'll pay for this.
Don't worry. So sorry.
804
00:57:30,532 --> 00:57:34,250
-My fault. Um, they're lovely.
-What're you having?
805
00:57:35,458 --> 00:57:39,667
Hope it's a girl. Because girls never
turn psycho and shoot up schools.
806
00:57:40,542 --> 00:57:42,291
And you know little boys,
they pee on your face...
807
00:57:42,625 --> 00:57:45,125
every time you change their
nappy.
808
00:57:45,458 --> 00:57:48,542
And we've demonized any kind
of light spanking
809
00:57:48,577 --> 00:57:50,250
so that playing card's off the
table.
810
00:57:51,458 --> 00:57:53,625
You know, I thought some--
The last month of pregnancy,
811
00:57:53,660 --> 00:57:56,090
when my pelvis was splitting
open,
812
00:57:56,125 --> 00:57:59,750
and I was hobbling around on
crutches. It was hell. But um...
813
00:58:00,291 --> 00:58:02,250
But then I had Sam.
814
00:58:03,166 --> 00:58:04,625
I'm having a boy.
815
00:58:06,291 --> 00:58:07,750
-Bugger.
-Thank you.
816
00:58:09,458 --> 00:58:12,875
-Well. At least, you're young.
-I'm 40.
817
00:58:13,291 --> 00:58:14,667
I'd say I'm sorry, but, um...
818
00:58:16,500 --> 00:58:18,083
you've actually made me feel
less alone.
819
00:58:20,917 --> 00:58:22,750
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
820
00:58:25,291 --> 00:58:25,792
I used to be pretty like you.
821
00:58:27,166 --> 00:58:28,917
Great. Okay.
822
00:58:29,709 --> 00:58:31,583
-Good luck.
-C'mon, Sam!
823
00:58:32,667 --> 00:58:34,917
C'mon, darling, let's
get your brother. Sam!
824
00:58:37,375 --> 00:58:38,500
Sam!
825
00:59:09,417 --> 00:59:11,875
-You into sports?
-Yes!
826
00:59:11,910 --> 00:59:12,834
-Great!
-Chess!
827
00:59:20,625 --> 00:59:21,667
I know why I'm here.
828
00:59:23,250 --> 00:59:27,083
Oh, um, yes.
Olivia thought we might get on.
829
00:59:27,375 --> 00:59:28,709
And she wants to stop me trying
to steal her girlfriend.
830
00:59:30,333 --> 00:59:34,333
-That's it exactly, actually, yeah.
-I'm even throwing her a baby shower.
831
00:59:34,368 --> 00:59:36,375
Maybe you should throw yourself
a cold shower.
832
00:59:39,625 --> 00:59:42,417
How about we ease this situation
by getting hammered?
833
00:59:43,041 --> 00:59:44,875
Fuck, yes.
834
00:59:59,458 --> 01:00:02,298
Alex, they need boundaries
or they will destroy everything.
835
01:00:02,333 --> 01:00:04,917
-They're just a couple of kids.
-Okay, so don't-- Please. Sorry.
836
01:00:07,417 --> 01:00:11,417
Should we-- should we just agree
to disagree about the whole...
837
01:00:11,750 --> 01:00:12,917
Parenting bit?
838
01:00:14,333 --> 01:00:15,667
We've got plenty of time.
839
01:00:16,333 --> 01:00:19,583
We'll be fine. Besides,
we're not gonna be alone.
840
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:20,917
We've got John.
841
01:00:32,792 --> 01:00:34,840
-God, you're sexy.
-Yeah.
842
01:00:34,875 --> 01:00:37,417
No wonder you turned a gay
woman straight.
843
01:00:40,208 --> 01:00:42,792
I wonder if my wife's being gay
somewhere.
844
01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:52,125
-Hey! What's up, man?
-She left me.
845
01:00:53,625 --> 01:00:55,208
Age-- ages ago.
846
01:00:55,959 --> 01:01:00,924
No reason. Just that I dry her
entire being up like a prune.
847
01:01:00,959 --> 01:01:06,792
No! They just do it to annoy you.
Ha-ha! We're in our little girly club,
848
01:01:06,827 --> 01:01:10,792
and you can't join because
of your stupid penis.
849
01:01:14,291 --> 01:01:16,500
Well, my penis is not stupid.
850
01:01:16,834 --> 01:01:21,333
I used to pound her steak just the way
she liked it till it was extra thin.
851
01:01:21,667 --> 01:01:22,000
And in return she...
852
01:01:24,041 --> 01:01:25,959
pounded my heart till it
disappeared.
853
01:01:27,375 --> 01:01:29,625
My penis is not stupid.
854
01:01:38,083 --> 01:01:41,500
-Oh, God. Sorry, sorry.
-It's okay.
855
01:01:42,000 --> 01:01:44,083
-Hang on!
-Okay.
856
01:01:44,500 --> 01:01:46,256
Okay, okay.
857
01:01:46,291 --> 01:01:47,382
-Are you okay?
-Yeah.
858
01:01:47,417 --> 01:01:49,166
-What happened? Oh, gosh!
-Oh, gosh!
859
01:01:49,709 --> 01:01:52,750
All right. Let's just--
Let's just leave it, babe.
860
01:01:53,625 --> 01:01:55,083
I need to go for a piss, okay?
861
01:01:55,118 --> 01:01:55,917
-Really?
-Yeah.
862
01:02:26,333 --> 01:02:28,458
Isn't it a bit late in the day
for a shower?
863
01:02:28,875 --> 01:02:31,125
The baby waiters had
a month's waiting list.
864
01:02:31,542 --> 01:02:33,875
I know this because the
shower planner told me.
865
01:02:34,166 --> 01:02:35,083
I shit you not. The shower
planner.
866
01:02:38,750 --> 01:02:41,799
Are you about to be sick?
867
01:02:41,834 --> 01:02:43,632
I literally haven't slept in
three days,
868
01:02:43,667 --> 01:02:45,834
so I don't know
if I'm gonna puke or pass out.
869
01:02:46,667 --> 01:02:47,882
I'd go for the former.
870
01:02:47,917 --> 01:02:50,458
-These floors look pretty solid.
-Got it!
871
01:02:56,917 --> 01:03:00,625
Well, hello. Fancy
finding you here.
872
01:03:03,291 --> 01:03:07,250
No! No, this isn't-- We're not--
I'm just standing here.
873
01:03:07,750 --> 01:03:10,625
I meant Alex's baby shower.
874
01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:15,917
-The girl you love like a sister.
-Yes. Yeah, I know. I just--
875
01:03:16,709 --> 01:03:18,333
I was just making conversation.
876
01:03:22,625 --> 01:03:27,125
-Oh, my gosh! You're pregnant, too. Aw.
-Oh, my gosh!
877
01:03:28,625 --> 01:03:30,000
How did you guess?
878
01:03:30,583 --> 01:03:32,875
You've got a little bit of sick
in your hair.
879
01:03:32,910 --> 01:03:33,875
I know.
880
01:03:34,417 --> 01:03:35,590
-I know. I put it in there.
-Oh!
881
01:03:35,625 --> 01:03:37,583
'Cause it's good for the
natural protein fiber oils.
882
01:03:37,618 --> 01:03:39,458
- Oh!
- Yeah.
883
01:03:39,750 --> 01:03:41,917
John and Alex have such
fascinating friends.
884
01:03:41,952 --> 01:03:43,333
What did you call them?
885
01:03:43,625 --> 01:03:44,625
John and Alex.
886
01:03:45,125 --> 01:03:46,959
It's not John and Alex. It is
John...
887
01:03:47,291 --> 01:03:49,125
and...
888
01:03:54,041 --> 01:03:55,959
-Alex.
-That's what I said.
889
01:03:56,208 --> 01:03:58,000
-John and Alex--
-No, you didn't.
890
01:03:58,375 --> 01:03:59,000
'Cause you're saying it
like they're together,
891
01:04:00,667 --> 01:04:02,583
putting them in a sentence together.
They don't belong in a sentence together.
892
01:04:02,834 --> 01:04:03,882
I'm sorry.
893
01:04:03,917 --> 01:04:04,834
-It's okay.
-I'm sorry, who are you?
894
01:04:04,869 --> 01:04:06,959
-Olivia! I'm Olivia.
-Ah! Yeah.
895
01:04:09,709 --> 01:04:10,834
Olivia and Alex.
896
01:04:12,750 --> 01:04:14,792
-Al and Ol?
-We're just so used to...
897
01:04:15,667 --> 01:04:17,166
- John and Alex.
- Yeah.
898
01:04:20,000 --> 01:04:21,965
-Who are you?
-Uh, Luke Hammond.
899
01:04:22,000 --> 01:04:25,709
-Oh!
-CEO of Mannism. Hail to the Alpha.
900
01:04:29,458 --> 01:04:31,834
I'm gonna need to pop back in
for another puke.
901
01:04:32,166 --> 01:04:33,792
Sure.
902
01:04:34,667 --> 01:04:36,792
-Mother.
-There you go.
903
01:04:37,667 --> 01:04:38,750
Right.
904
01:04:39,875 --> 01:04:44,709
Condoms. A massive box of
condoms.
905
01:04:45,041 --> 01:04:48,041
Well, I never make the same
mistake twice.
906
01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:50,542
I make it five or six times
just to be sure...
907
01:04:53,375 --> 01:04:54,417
Moving on.
908
01:04:55,542 --> 01:04:56,458
All right, let's have
another family present.
909
01:04:57,208 --> 01:04:59,583
-Here's mine.
-Thank you, John-O.
910
01:05:00,041 --> 01:05:01,833
Oh!
911
01:05:01,868 --> 01:05:03,625
Oh!
912
01:05:06,208 --> 01:05:07,208
John.
913
01:05:08,333 --> 01:05:09,875
It's a first edition.
914
01:05:11,709 --> 01:05:16,375
I know that our baby is going
to open my eyes to the world,
915
01:05:17,125 --> 01:05:20,417
in as many varied and
wonderful ways as you have.
916
01:05:20,452 --> 01:05:22,500
Aw.
917
01:05:23,709 --> 01:05:26,583
-Thanks.
-To John and Alex.
918
01:05:27,291 --> 01:05:30,959
- To John and Alex.
- Thank you from both of us.
919
01:05:31,458 --> 01:05:33,125
-It's very kind.
-Sorry, John?
920
01:05:34,875 --> 01:05:37,125
-What was that?
-It's very kind of everyone.
921
01:05:37,160 --> 01:05:37,250
No, before.
922
01:05:38,333 --> 01:05:40,959
-What you said before?
-Thank you from both of us.
923
01:05:41,417 --> 01:05:43,542
Since when do you speak on
Alex's behalf?
924
01:05:44,375 --> 01:05:45,875
- Uh, okay, Olivia.
- Huh?
925
01:05:46,333 --> 01:05:49,382
I just asked a question.
It's a very simple question.
926
01:05:49,417 --> 01:05:53,709
I just wanna know, when I am
conversing with my girlfriend,
927
01:05:54,250 --> 01:05:57,208
if I should be addressing you?
928
01:05:58,083 --> 01:06:00,583
Hello! I'm still here. Remember
me?
929
01:06:01,375 --> 01:06:04,667
You enjoying your fetus shaped
cookies?
930
01:06:04,702 --> 01:06:07,959
- Just calm down, will ya?
- Oh, calm down.
931
01:06:07,994 --> 01:06:09,125
No, John. No.
932
01:06:11,625 --> 01:06:14,562
You don't tell me to calm down.
933
01:06:14,597 --> 01:06:17,500
-Easy.
-Shut. The fuck. Up!
934
01:06:17,792 --> 01:06:18,959
Babe?
935
01:06:19,458 --> 01:06:22,458
-Not now, babe.
-If not now, then when? When?
936
01:06:23,000 --> 01:06:28,625
Can I tell this mindless
human being to back off?
937
01:06:30,917 --> 01:06:33,709
How about when we realize that
our child
938
01:06:34,000 --> 01:06:39,256
is being raised on the
misogynistic values of Mannism?
939
01:06:39,291 --> 01:06:44,208
Or, what about when we-- Mm-hmm.
When I have to buy a bigger house
940
01:06:44,625 --> 01:06:46,709
because John wants to move in.
941
01:06:47,333 --> 01:06:50,000
Um, we should let him because
he's lonely and divorced.
942
01:06:50,834 --> 01:06:56,375
-And after all, he's the real father.
-Stop it, Olivia. He's trying.
943
01:06:56,792 --> 01:06:59,750
Am I just supposed to forget that
he's the one you cheated with.
944
01:07:00,500 --> 01:07:01,375
C'mon! She didn't.
945
01:07:02,750 --> 01:07:05,667
What is this? Alex?
946
01:07:06,208 --> 01:07:09,458
You're gay. But then you're
straight. Then you're gay again.
947
01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:11,709
Oh, and apparently, you're
pregnant woman of the year!
948
01:07:12,792 --> 01:07:14,083
I'm ti-- I just can't keep up.
949
01:07:14,333 --> 01:07:19,500
I really can't. At some
point, you have to choose.
950
01:07:20,083 --> 01:07:21,917
No, I don't.
951
01:07:22,834 --> 01:07:25,166
You are supposed to love all of
it.
952
01:07:27,792 --> 01:07:29,375
I'm sorry I don't fit
into your tight knit plans.
953
01:07:31,417 --> 01:07:33,709
Those plans were always about
you.
954
01:07:34,417 --> 01:07:37,709
All I ever wanted was to
give you a proper family.
955
01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:41,750
Yeah. The perfect family, yeah?
Like Ben's?
956
01:07:42,417 --> 01:07:44,667
Ben, who is getting divorced.
957
01:07:48,583 --> 01:07:50,417
What?
958
01:07:51,667 --> 01:07:53,417
Hello. Yes.
959
01:07:54,291 --> 01:07:55,298
I'm the one with a failed
marriage.
960
01:07:55,333 --> 01:07:59,458
-Glad everyone's been made aware.
-Shocker.
961
01:08:00,458 --> 01:08:02,583
Everyone's got their shit,
Olivia, right?
962
01:08:04,166 --> 01:08:06,374
-Alex, what is it?
-I think you should leave, Olivia.
963
01:08:06,409 --> 01:08:08,583
-She doesn't have to leave.
-Okay, so I misjudged that.
964
01:08:09,250 --> 01:08:12,709
-Oh! I think I'm having a contraction.
-Okay, it's fine. She's too early.
965
01:08:12,744 --> 01:08:15,041
-She's not having a contraction.
-I'm sure it's a contraction.
966
01:08:15,076 --> 01:08:17,017
- It's not gonna be a
contraction.
967
01:08:17,052 --> 01:08:18,959
-Fuck!
-We could, of course, be wrong.
968
01:08:21,959 --> 01:08:23,083
Doctor Parks.
969
01:08:24,417 --> 01:08:25,458
Oh hey, doc. We got a lot of snot
coming out of this one's hoo-ha.
970
01:08:26,291 --> 01:08:28,083
I wanted to be a concert
pianist.
971
01:08:29,083 --> 01:08:30,750
All right. We'll get the nurse
to set you up.
972
01:08:30,785 --> 01:08:31,799
-Who's coming?
-I am.
973
01:08:31,834 --> 01:08:34,250
-Right take that!
-Yep, yep. All right, be careful.
974
01:08:35,125 --> 01:08:35,208
Oh!
975
01:08:38,417 --> 01:08:40,041
Okay, I'll just-- I'll be here.
976
01:08:45,750 --> 01:08:46,875
Right then.
977
01:08:51,959 --> 01:08:53,000
Oh!
978
01:08:54,208 --> 01:08:57,458
Baby's very low down in
your pelvis. Which is good.
979
01:08:57,750 --> 01:08:59,458
I'm just gonna have a little
listen.
980
01:09:08,125 --> 01:09:09,291
I can't find...
981
01:09:13,709 --> 01:09:15,542
Well, let me just get Doctor
Parks.
982
01:09:16,625 --> 01:09:19,291
It's all fine. It's going to be
fine.
983
01:09:20,125 --> 01:09:22,041
-Just let him out there know, okay?
-Okay.
984
01:09:22,076 --> 01:09:23,291
-You all right?
-Mm-hmm.
985
01:09:23,326 --> 01:09:23,458
-You sure?
-Mm-hmm.
986
01:09:29,250 --> 01:09:31,048
- John.
- What's happening?
987
01:09:31,083 --> 01:09:33,333
We don't know.
They've gone to get the doctor.
988
01:09:33,368 --> 01:09:34,333
Why, what's wrong?
989
01:09:34,917 --> 01:09:36,340
-Should I speak to someone?
-I think...
990
01:09:36,375 --> 01:09:38,166
it was trouble finding the heartbeat
but it's already quite far down.
991
01:09:38,667 --> 01:09:42,125
-There's contractions, so-- -So,
you wouldn't be able to find it.
992
01:09:42,160 --> 01:09:42,333
-Right.
-Okay.
993
01:09:45,166 --> 01:09:46,250
She will be fine.
994
01:09:47,375 --> 01:09:47,458
Yeah.
995
01:09:48,667 --> 01:09:51,375
Um, okay.
996
01:09:56,166 --> 01:09:58,458
- Miss Jones?
- Hi.
997
01:10:18,041 --> 01:10:19,083
Oh!
998
01:10:52,041 --> 01:10:52,417
I'm so sorry.
999
01:10:55,709 --> 01:10:57,583
There's no heartbeat. I'm so
sorry.
1000
01:11:01,000 --> 01:11:03,417
What? Wait, wait.
1001
01:11:04,417 --> 01:11:08,417
-Are you sure? Could you try it again?
-No heartbeat was detected. I'm certain.
1002
01:11:08,834 --> 01:11:11,875
How are you certain?
Maybe, you made a mistake.
1003
01:11:12,750 --> 01:11:14,583
Most--
1004
01:11:15,917 --> 01:11:18,583
Most commonly, an infection has
occurred. We'll do further tests.
1005
01:11:20,709 --> 01:11:21,917
I know this is hard.
1006
01:11:22,917 --> 01:11:24,917
But I'm afraid we have to think
of Miss Jones' safety.
1007
01:11:25,417 --> 01:11:28,750
Now, and the safest step now
is to deliver this baby.
1008
01:11:30,750 --> 01:11:35,083
Plea-- Please could you-- could
you just do it one more time for us?
1009
01:11:35,118 --> 01:11:35,542
Just one more time again.
1010
01:11:36,041 --> 01:11:38,041
I'm so sorry.
1011
01:11:39,291 --> 01:11:39,417
She's gone.
1012
01:11:41,291 --> 01:11:42,375
She?
1013
01:11:45,083 --> 01:11:46,291
Could you give us a minute?
1014
01:12:15,208 --> 01:12:16,625
- Babe?
- Yes, I'm here.
1015
01:12:17,083 --> 01:12:19,500
I don't want you here.
1016
01:12:20,625 --> 01:12:23,000
I don't want this in anyone's
memory. I just want to get it done.
1017
01:12:26,375 --> 01:12:27,625
-Are you sure?
-Please.
1018
01:12:57,542 --> 01:13:02,542
"Seldom, except in books, do
the dying utter memorable words,
1019
01:13:03,417 --> 01:13:06,709
see visions, or depart
with beatified countenances...
1020
01:13:08,709 --> 01:13:11,500
and those who have sped
many parting souls know
1021
01:13:11,917 --> 01:13:17,750
that to most the end comes as
naturally and simply as sleep.
1022
01:13:19,291 --> 01:13:22,500
As Beth had hoped,
the tide went out easily...
1023
01:13:26,125 --> 01:13:28,333
and in the dark hour before the
dawn...
1024
01:13:29,417 --> 01:13:31,959
on the bosom where she
had drawn her first breath...
1025
01:13:33,500 --> 01:13:35,250
she quietly drew her last.
1026
01:13:36,709 --> 01:13:39,375
With no farewell but one loving
look...
1027
01:13:41,208 --> 01:13:41,667
one little sigh."
1028
01:15:18,166 --> 01:15:21,208
Look, I know you're probably
gonna wanna talk about it...
1029
01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:24,083
about her.
1030
01:15:25,792 --> 01:15:26,875
But you see, I can't.
1031
01:15:28,458 --> 01:15:29,875
I don't know if I'll ever be
able to.
1032
01:15:33,625 --> 01:15:34,625
I was so looking forward
to being something.
1033
01:15:37,500 --> 01:15:38,583
Anything.
1034
01:15:43,667 --> 01:15:45,709
-Is John okay?
-Uh...
1035
01:15:48,417 --> 01:15:49,542
When he cries...
1036
01:15:50,709 --> 01:15:52,750
his entire body crumples up
like a little old lady's.
1037
01:15:55,542 --> 01:15:55,667
That's funny.
1038
01:15:57,250 --> 01:15:59,500
-It's not.
-No.
1039
01:16:02,792 --> 01:16:04,750
I actually saw him this morning.
1040
01:16:06,375 --> 01:16:08,625
I can't help waddling...
1041
01:16:09,500 --> 01:16:12,709
about, reminding him-- Sorry.
1042
01:16:14,208 --> 01:16:17,083
Maybe, it's best if you keep
your distance from him a bit.
1043
01:16:20,709 --> 01:16:20,834
Right. Okay.
1044
01:16:24,166 --> 01:16:24,709
We could go to my parents', I
suppose.
1045
01:16:27,125 --> 01:16:28,458
Or you can go if you want.
1046
01:16:30,750 --> 01:16:31,834
Darling!
1047
01:16:32,583 --> 01:16:34,548
- We're going to have such fun.
- Oh!
1048
01:16:34,583 --> 01:16:37,917
Daddy's birthday party's coming up.
I've invited that Biggles Tilsbury.
1049
01:16:38,250 --> 01:16:42,583
-I've got such a girl crush on her.
-You can just say crush, Mummy.
1050
01:16:43,542 --> 01:16:46,834
-Anyway, I shouldn't be here for long.
-You can stay here as long as you like.
1051
01:16:46,869 --> 01:16:48,000
We really are fine.
1052
01:16:49,625 --> 01:16:52,166
I think it's time you started thinking
about this baby other than that girl.
1053
01:16:52,201 --> 01:16:53,959
Don't you?
1054
01:17:16,041 --> 01:17:17,125
Hello!
1055
01:17:18,458 --> 01:17:23,125
Oh, look. John's sporting a man
bun, the final tosser frontier.
1056
01:17:23,417 --> 01:17:24,709
He's a handsome devil.
1057
01:17:25,875 --> 01:17:25,959
Sorry, darling.
1058
01:17:27,625 --> 01:17:32,166
Oh, look! Biggles Tilsbury just got
here. You two would make a lovely couple.
1059
01:17:32,625 --> 01:17:34,917
Thanks, Mummy. I still have a
girlfriend.
1060
01:17:36,959 --> 01:17:41,542
- Where's Magda and the girls
then?
1061
01:17:42,583 --> 01:17:46,423
Oh, um, she took the kids
on a weekend away.
1062
01:17:46,458 --> 01:17:49,417
Isn't that a bit odd, going on
holiday without your husband?
1063
01:17:49,750 --> 01:17:53,917
-Um...
-Not at all, actually. No, um...
1064
01:17:54,375 --> 01:17:57,667
-Trudy leaves Sting behind all the time.
-Does she now?
1065
01:17:58,333 --> 01:18:00,041
-Bully for her.
-Hmm.
1066
01:18:02,458 --> 01:18:06,667
This is organic Hereford
blackcurrant vodka.
1067
01:18:09,083 --> 01:18:11,750
And this is the coolest old
person party I have ever seen.
1068
01:18:13,709 --> 01:18:13,834
I better not.
1069
01:18:15,166 --> 01:18:19,625
Alex, an international playboy
once said, "To drink is to live".
1070
01:18:20,375 --> 01:18:23,417
And that international playboy
was me!
1071
01:18:26,667 --> 01:18:27,834
Yeah, Alex. What you got to
lose?
1072
01:18:30,875 --> 01:18:31,000
Just one shot.
1073
01:18:34,375 --> 01:18:36,458
Hmm.
1074
01:18:37,375 --> 01:18:39,208
- Very nice to see you.
- Whatto!
1075
01:18:39,243 --> 01:18:41,208
Oh! Sorry.
1076
01:18:41,792 --> 01:18:45,833
-Biggles, how are you? Very long time.
-Very long time, yeah.
1077
01:18:45,868 --> 01:18:49,875
The last thing I remember was
running around your garden naked.
1078
01:18:50,166 --> 01:18:51,500
Oh!
1079
01:18:51,917 --> 01:18:54,709
-So, last week then?
-No, no. We were five.
1080
01:18:55,125 --> 01:18:56,208
Yes, no. I was joking.
1081
01:18:57,500 --> 01:19:01,583
Oh, right. Yeah, I know, 'cause
wouldn't have been last week.
1082
01:19:01,618 --> 01:19:03,333
-No.
-Wouldn't have been naked.
1083
01:19:04,458 --> 01:19:06,166
Aren't you a bit old to be
having a baby?
1084
01:19:07,166 --> 01:19:10,834
-Uh, I guess not.
-Ah! Well, I do hope it's normal.
1085
01:19:12,375 --> 01:19:14,208
Thank you.
1086
01:19:14,709 --> 01:19:17,083
Most kind. Ben.
1087
01:19:18,375 --> 01:19:21,291
Come over. Biggles, do you
remember Ben? This is my brother.
1088
01:19:21,583 --> 01:19:25,917
-Uh, vaguely.
-You babysat me through childhood.
1089
01:19:25,952 --> 01:19:28,834
-Oh!
-We went to the same school
1090
01:19:29,500 --> 01:19:30,625
and then university.
1091
01:19:31,667 --> 01:19:33,083
Ben? Whose wife is a rampant
shagger?
1092
01:19:36,041 --> 01:19:37,500
Yep. That Ben.
1093
01:19:38,417 --> 01:19:40,250
You used to wet the bed, didn't
you?
1094
01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:46,291
Get up!
1095
01:20:22,291 --> 01:20:24,166
Hi!
1096
01:20:24,667 --> 01:20:25,792
Alex.
1097
01:20:28,125 --> 01:20:28,417
Hey.
1098
01:20:29,125 --> 01:20:31,250
You weren't just going to
leave, were you?
1099
01:20:31,542 --> 01:20:34,208
No. I just needed a moment away
from it all.
1100
01:20:35,291 --> 01:20:36,208
You've been drinking.
1101
01:20:37,834 --> 01:20:41,166
-Yeah! I'm allowed now,
remember? -I know. I--
1102
01:20:43,458 --> 01:20:45,458
I wasn't saying...
1103
01:20:52,458 --> 01:20:54,041
-Did you not get the invite?
-Yeah. I'm...
1104
01:20:56,250 --> 01:20:57,632
stood right here.
1105
01:20:57,667 --> 01:21:00,250
Well, what part of "garden chic"
do hot pants fit under?
1106
01:21:01,333 --> 01:21:04,625
I don't know. Is there
a I-don't-give-a-fuck option?
1107
01:21:04,660 --> 01:21:05,750
Yeah, okay.
1108
01:21:09,291 --> 01:21:12,375
Alex, can we try and get
back to normal? Please?
1109
01:21:13,750 --> 01:21:17,417
Maybe, less of the
swearing, smoking, boozing?
1110
01:21:18,792 --> 01:21:20,750
More of the early nights, yoga?
1111
01:21:23,250 --> 01:21:27,333
So, I can be a good mum to my
non-existent child, is that it?
1112
01:21:27,792 --> 01:21:31,500
No. So you can be a good
mother to mine. For ours.
1113
01:21:34,417 --> 01:21:38,041
-I need more time.
-We don't have any more time, Alex.
1114
01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:41,208
Please.
1115
01:21:43,542 --> 01:21:45,417
We need you.
1116
01:21:48,875 --> 01:21:53,083
I can't be everything you want
me to be right now. I'm so sorry.
1117
01:22:03,750 --> 01:22:05,417
This feels like something has
broken.
1118
01:22:05,917 --> 01:22:07,500
-It's just changed.
-No.
1119
01:22:10,583 --> 01:22:15,083
I shouldn't feel so lost when
I'm where I always wanted to be.
1120
01:22:15,917 --> 01:22:16,208
Olivia!
1121
01:22:21,250 --> 01:22:22,083
Should I go?
1122
01:22:26,375 --> 01:22:28,208
Olivia?
1123
01:22:53,625 --> 01:22:54,709
Wow!
1124
01:22:59,375 --> 01:23:01,792
-Has she even seen this?
-No.
1125
01:23:08,959 --> 01:23:10,750
Why is it yellow? She's having
a boy.
1126
01:23:12,333 --> 01:23:13,625
And what if it was a boy that
wanted to be a girl, Jonathan?
1127
01:23:13,660 --> 01:23:15,500
Yeah, all right.
1128
01:23:16,959 --> 01:23:18,500
All right. I'm a middle class,
straight, white guy and I suck, sorry.
1129
01:23:21,750 --> 01:23:26,000
To teach is to learn yourself. It's
a noble and inspiring profession.
1130
01:23:26,500 --> 01:23:27,500
Good.
1131
01:23:27,959 --> 01:23:30,291
-And Miss Jones?
-What?
1132
01:23:34,625 --> 01:23:35,709
Um...
1133
01:23:37,000 --> 01:23:40,291
I guess if I'm a teacher then
I won't be some wired artist,
1134
01:23:40,326 --> 01:23:41,208
desperate for her next joint.
1135
01:23:42,959 --> 01:23:45,208
I'll be normal. Be part of the
race.
1136
01:23:46,917 --> 01:23:48,333
That sounds quite nice, now.
1137
01:23:53,500 --> 01:23:54,625
And yeah, what she said.
1138
01:24:02,834 --> 01:24:05,458
-Whatto.
-Hello, Biggles.
1139
01:24:05,709 --> 01:24:09,208
Bought the backgammon. Bit of
competition should help get that baby out.
1140
01:24:09,542 --> 01:24:11,000
Oh, yay!
1141
01:24:12,041 --> 01:24:16,875
-John, what on earth are you doing here?
-Hold the door. I have to talk to you.
1142
01:24:17,917 --> 01:24:20,542
-Who's this?
-Biggles Tilsbury. How do you do?
1143
01:24:21,959 --> 01:24:23,215
That is such a stupid name.
1144
01:24:23,250 --> 01:24:26,750
No offence. You should be a dog
in a handbag, in like, 2001.
1145
01:24:27,792 --> 01:24:29,500
-Goodbye, John.
-I have to talk to you.
1146
01:24:29,875 --> 01:24:31,417
-We're busy.
-It's Alex.
1147
01:24:34,000 --> 01:24:35,333
-What's wrong with Alex?
-Do you like my bun?
1148
01:24:38,542 --> 01:24:41,291
-I don't have time for this, John.
-No. But, yet, you never have time.
1149
01:24:41,583 --> 01:24:44,333
I've lost the love of my life,
I'm 40 and I live with my parents
1150
01:24:44,368 --> 01:24:46,542
and I'm about to shit out
another human being.
1151
01:24:50,875 --> 01:24:54,542
Have you got a point in this
conversation?
1152
01:24:54,577 --> 01:24:54,965
Or in life?
1153
01:24:55,000 --> 01:24:57,250
Boo-fucking-hoo!
1154
01:24:59,750 --> 01:25:02,083
You know what you may not know,
Olivia?
1155
01:25:03,375 --> 01:25:05,083
I was born with scoliosis.
1156
01:25:06,166 --> 01:25:06,834
I had a back
brace
1157
01:25:07,417 --> 01:25:10,000
right through school
to straighten things out.
1158
01:25:10,417 --> 01:25:11,166
-Okay.
-I know.
1159
01:25:11,792 --> 01:25:16,090
You're thinking, "But how he's
so tall and Greek-God like?
1160
01:25:16,125 --> 01:25:18,375
Well, that was not the case back
then. I was twisted like a pretzel.
1161
01:25:19,959 --> 01:25:24,333
The other boys used to hang me by
my brace from the football goal net
1162
01:25:24,750 --> 01:25:26,959
and then kick balls at my head.
1163
01:25:27,250 --> 01:25:28,709
-Oh!
-Right at my head.
1164
01:25:29,458 --> 01:25:31,792
-Gosh!
-Yup. And these were Scottish boys, not...
1165
01:25:32,917 --> 01:25:37,375
ya Harry Potter, posh, wee, skinny
things. These are real proper men,
1166
01:25:37,792 --> 01:25:40,125
kicking balls, right at my head.
1167
01:25:41,792 --> 01:25:42,750
And then, they'd leave me there.
1168
01:25:43,458 --> 01:25:46,917
All night, sometimes.
I just-- I'd swing about a bit.
1169
01:25:47,625 --> 01:25:51,041
Come crashing down.
Mess up my back some more.
1170
01:25:53,291 --> 01:25:54,417
-Sounds painful.
-Oh, yep.
1171
01:25:56,625 --> 01:25:57,500
Oh, yeah.
1172
01:25:59,667 --> 01:26:03,166
Then now... I'm the one causing
the pain.
1173
01:26:04,417 --> 01:26:07,667
Breaking the ladies' heart.
Left, right, center, So...
1174
01:26:09,291 --> 01:26:10,417
I can get anyone I want.
1175
01:26:12,875 --> 01:26:13,917
You know who I couldn't get?
1176
01:26:16,250 --> 01:26:16,834
Okay, well...
1177
01:26:17,208 --> 01:26:19,590
Technically, you did get Alex,
1178
01:26:19,625 --> 01:26:21,542
so I don't know if this
little story is really working.
1179
01:26:22,125 --> 01:26:24,250
No, all I got Alex was blind
drunk.
1180
01:26:26,125 --> 01:26:28,792
I've loved her since I first
saw her.
1181
01:26:30,125 --> 01:26:33,166
Since she shouted at me for directing
the Jehovah's witness' to your door.
1182
01:26:36,125 --> 01:26:37,500
To me, she was it.
1183
01:26:40,208 --> 01:26:40,291
And it...
1184
01:26:43,250 --> 01:26:43,375
loves only you.
1185
01:26:48,750 --> 01:26:50,667
Alex is...
1186
01:26:51,667 --> 01:26:55,625
100% bona fide carpet muncher...
1187
01:26:58,667 --> 01:26:59,542
and your carpet...
1188
01:27:00,709 --> 01:27:01,583
is the only one...
1189
01:27:03,208 --> 01:27:03,333
she wants to munch.
1190
01:27:05,625 --> 01:27:07,959
That was very sweet for about a
second.
1191
01:27:09,125 --> 01:27:11,208
You know, she redecorated
the spare room...
1192
01:27:12,208 --> 01:27:12,417
for the baby.
1193
01:27:16,500 --> 01:27:18,000
I didn't know that.
1194
01:27:29,125 --> 01:27:32,542
-I was just so scared.
-I know you were. I was too.
1195
01:27:36,041 --> 01:27:37,417
I really wanted to be a dad.
1196
01:27:44,208 --> 01:27:45,542
Could you settle for uncle?
1197
01:27:52,750 --> 01:27:54,048
-C'mon.
-John, wait.
1198
01:27:54,083 --> 01:27:57,792
Wait, John. John, John, John,
John, John. I'm not just--
1199
01:27:57,827 --> 01:27:58,542
John, please. I can feel your
beard.
1200
01:28:00,834 --> 01:28:04,208
-Darling, where you're going?
-I'm going home.
1201
01:28:05,083 --> 01:28:05,750
-Are you trying to run?
-Yeah.
1202
01:28:06,417 --> 01:28:09,625
- That is the general idea.
-Why?
1203
01:28:10,000 --> 01:28:13,625
It just feels like a...
running kind of moment.
1204
01:28:13,917 --> 01:28:16,792
She's going to get the
love of her, and my life.
1205
01:28:16,827 --> 01:28:17,834
- Really?
- Sounds complicated.
1206
01:28:18,583 --> 01:28:22,208
That tummy rather kills romance
doesn't it, darling?
1207
01:28:22,243 --> 01:28:23,709
Ah! Yes.
1208
01:28:24,709 --> 01:28:26,792
It does. It does.
1209
01:28:27,792 --> 01:28:28,625
Thank you, Mummy.
1210
01:28:29,792 --> 01:28:32,291
-Cup of tea before you go?
-I mean, we probably have time.
1211
01:28:32,326 --> 01:28:33,375
John!
1212
01:28:48,125 --> 01:28:50,333
It is a toe ring but I'm
gonna get you a proper ring.
1213
01:28:50,625 --> 01:28:51,500
Alex...
1214
01:28:52,458 --> 01:28:53,709
I want to marry you.
1215
01:28:54,792 --> 01:28:56,458
Because I do love it all.
1216
01:28:57,083 --> 01:28:59,709
If you're a stoner,
or an artist or...
1217
01:29:01,041 --> 01:29:03,750
a bloody astronaut. I
don't care. You're you.
1218
01:29:05,166 --> 01:29:09,500
You're so kind, and so great,
and just... Just...
1219
01:29:12,709 --> 01:29:15,590
You're just a great person, Alex
and obviously,
1220
01:29:15,625 --> 01:29:16,965
by the way, you're so much
better than an astronaut.
1221
01:29:17,000 --> 01:29:19,959
And-- But actually, you're
better than anyone I can think of,
1222
01:29:19,994 --> 01:29:24,417
so I'm going to stop waffling
and beg you. Alex...
1223
01:29:25,917 --> 01:29:26,458
please be with me forever.
1224
01:29:35,750 --> 01:29:39,125
- "You're better than an
astronaut?"
1225
01:29:40,375 --> 01:29:43,125
I'm still not that great
at proposing or...
1226
01:29:44,792 --> 01:29:48,291
-to be fair, that great at any of it.
-I don't think either of us are.
1227
01:29:56,291 --> 01:29:58,709
-What?
-I think I've just burst.
1228
01:30:02,041 --> 01:30:03,583
- John!
- He's in the car.
1229
01:30:04,834 --> 01:30:06,000
'Course, he is.
1230
01:30:06,333 --> 01:30:08,709
-Go slow, go slow, go slow.
-Breathe.
1231
01:30:30,417 --> 01:30:30,542
I'll just be here.
1232
01:30:33,166 --> 01:30:33,542
You don't have to come.
1233
01:30:35,000 --> 01:30:36,834
I know.
1234
01:30:42,375 --> 01:30:47,583
Right, Miss Miller, let's prove
geriatrics can still have kids, okay?
1235
01:30:48,000 --> 01:30:50,382
That's my joke.
1236
01:30:50,417 --> 01:30:54,500
Right. I do not want to be down
here for too long so c'mon now, push!
1237
01:31:29,959 --> 01:31:34,792
-Cake, you two?
-We've already had a ton of cake.
1238
01:31:35,291 --> 01:31:37,000
Right.
This one is without the hash.
1239
01:31:41,291 --> 01:31:42,250
Cake?
1240
01:31:42,834 --> 01:31:45,250
-No, thank you.
-Beats the office, eh, Charles?
1241
01:31:45,625 --> 01:31:48,417
-Too bloody hot in here.
-Or not.
1242
01:31:49,917 --> 01:31:53,090
Ben, will you please have some
of our mother's cake?
1243
01:31:53,125 --> 01:31:56,417
I actually think masculinity is
overrated, personally. Thank you.
1244
01:31:56,452 --> 01:31:57,458
Thank you.
1245
01:31:59,000 --> 01:32:00,959
Hello, my sweet boy.
1246
01:32:01,375 --> 01:32:03,000
Upsy-daisy.
1247
01:32:06,041 --> 01:32:07,709
Some days, I'm a good
mother.
1248
01:32:09,041 --> 01:32:11,542
Some days, I'm a bit of a crap
one.
1249
01:32:28,125 --> 01:32:30,000
How was your first
Christmas, eh?
1250
01:32:30,667 --> 01:32:31,750
Alex and I never did
get married.
1251
01:32:34,709 --> 01:32:38,166
After everything that had
happened, it didn't seem important.
1252
01:32:39,125 --> 01:32:41,291
It's no longer about all those
labels.
1253
01:32:42,709 --> 01:32:45,834
I'm simply about you, me and
him.
1254
01:35:51,583 --> 01:35:53,875
Your mammalian roots...
1255
01:35:54,208 --> 01:35:56,465
okay? Just have some respect
for those.
1256
01:35:56,500 --> 01:35:57,458
Has anyone ever seen
an elephant give birth?
1257
01:35:58,125 --> 01:36:01,959
No? Oh, you have to see that,
that's amazing.
1258
01:36:01,994 --> 01:36:04,083
Has anyone seen a chimpanzee
give birth?
1259
01:36:04,709 --> 01:36:07,250
No? Has anyone seen, like, a
family pet?
1260
01:36:07,750 --> 01:36:09,333
-Or...
-Yeah.
1261
01:36:09,750 --> 01:36:11,208
Uh, gerbil.
1262
01:36:11,667 --> 01:36:13,632
John?
Seriously, John?
1263
01:36:13,667 --> 01:36:15,291
This is part of the problem.
We are so disconnected
1264
01:36:15,709 --> 01:36:18,548
from our natural history.
1265
01:36:18,583 --> 01:36:21,583
That we believe that birth is
not for us but you know everybody,
1266
01:36:22,291 --> 01:36:23,875
everybody eats, everybody
shits...
1267
01:36:28,250 --> 01:36:30,750
-What was that for?
-It was an accident.
1268
01:36:30,785 --> 01:36:30,959
Oh, no.
1269
01:36:32,625 --> 01:36:37,417
Oh, no. The baby. The baby. The baby.
The baby. The baby. The baby. The baby.
1270
01:36:37,452 --> 01:36:40,959
The baby. The baby. The
baby. The baby. No! No!
1271
01:36:41,750 --> 01:36:44,291
Bit of a handful, I'd imagine.
1272
01:36:45,166 --> 01:36:49,000
- Would you consider divorce or...
- Um...
1273
01:36:50,333 --> 01:36:52,875
Yeah, probably don't
wanna talk about it...
1274
01:36:53,125 --> 01:36:55,006
like here... with you...
1275
01:36:55,041 --> 01:36:57,875
One of those open
relationships, is it?
1276
01:37:00,250 --> 01:37:03,041
-So nice to catch up. -It
really is. What a-- What a treat.
1277
01:37:03,333 --> 01:37:05,333
To see you and it--
Just you...
1278
01:37:06,083 --> 01:37:07,131
Um, just--
1279
01:37:07,166 --> 01:37:08,417
I think I've got a ladybird in
my ear.
1280
01:37:08,792 --> 01:37:11,625
-That's it. Um. Um, yeah, yeah.
-Oh!
1281
01:37:11,660 --> 01:37:13,667
- Cut!
- Sorry.
1282
01:37:15,291 --> 01:37:19,417
I actively hope that baby's not mine.
I will punch you right in the boob.
1283
01:37:21,333 --> 01:37:22,709
You make me sick.
1284
01:37:26,500 --> 01:37:29,000
Please say cut!
1285
01:37:31,500 --> 01:37:32,125
Look, babe!
1286
01:37:36,583 --> 01:37:38,625
Look!
1287
01:37:47,417 --> 01:37:48,792
I'm sorry to interrupt.
1288
01:37:50,166 --> 01:37:54,333
What's happening? I want a part of this.
This looks like fun.
1289
01:37:57,333 --> 01:38:01,333
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