All language subtitles for Vapors (1965) BR Eng

(jazzy piano)

May I help you?

- I want to, uh, take
a steam bath and...

That'll be 3.50.

I thought it was only two.

It's a weekend.

Friday.

It's always 3.50 on weekends.

(sighs)

Here's the key.

Thanks.

- Hey, you forgot your
towel and robe and slippers.

Oh, thanks.

Say is there a place around here

where I could get a cup
of coffee to take with me?

Yeah, right over there.

On the right.

But you can't take any
drinks up to your room.

Oh.

Well, thanks anyways.

Got any valuables you wanna check?

Anything over five bucks?

Why's that?

- Well, you can't trust
your own mother these days,

how are you gonna trust
a recent acquaintance?

Oh, I see what you mean.

I guess I'll leave my ring.

Just put 'em in there.

And my wallet.

Very good.

(light switch clicks on)

(light switch clicks off)

- He doesn't have
enough muscles for me.

I'm looking for a nice
stacked Greek man for tonight.

But you can go on in, Thumbelina.

I'm tipping on.

Ooh!

- I guess he's got
someone in there huh?

Nope, she's just laying there alone.

Is this your first time here, sweetie?

No, I've been here before.

- Well, you know, you have
to leave your door open

a bit wider if you wanna get a trick.

Oh, thanks for telling me.

Here, I'll fix it for you.

Now you get the trick.

- Come on!
- Goodbye sweetie!

[Thomas] Bye.

Are you alone in there?

[Mr. Jaffee] Yeah.

That's why my door is open.

Mind if I come in?

[Man] I guess so.

All right if I turn on the light?

[Thomas] Sure, why not?

(light switch clicks on)

Mind if I sit down?

[Thomas] Why should I mind?

- This is my first time
here at the baths.

Quite a lot of excitement
going on out there.

Well, it's Friday night.

It's always busy on the weekend.

- Well, I've never taken
a bath before.

I mean, steam bath.

It's very refreshing,
it's very healthy.

Cleanses you inside as well as out.

I think I've lost 10 pounds already.

Don't you find it refreshing?

Oh, yes, very.

You sound as though you don't.

[Mr. Jaffee] Don't what?

Find it refreshing.

- It's just that I've
been here so many times

I'm used to it.

It's just like bathing at home.

But it guess it is rather refreshing.

Hey, buddy.

Think about pulling your
bathrobe down a bit,

it's beginning to hang out.

Oh, sure, I didn't even notice.

Okay, just remember.

Come here a lot?

Oh, sure.

At least four times a week.

This is my first time here.

You said that before.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I have a tendency to repeat
myself when I get nervous.

Why are you so nervous?

Because this is my first time here.

(laughs) I don't know what to do.

Well, here, have a cigarette.

Oh, no thank you.

I don't smoke.

I never did care for
the taste of smoke.

I find it very unwholesome.

For me, that is.

But just never did care
for the taste of it.

But you go ahead and
smoke if you've got it,

I don't care if other people smoke.

Are you comfortable in that chair?

Oh, yes, thank you.

It looks so hard and un-soft like.

Oh, I am very.

But thank you for
being so considerate.

- Hey, Sam, they're
working you hard tonight.

Oh, it's not too bad.

There's just a few trying on me.

Well, don't work too hard.

Yeah, take it easy.

Will you tell me something?

What are you supposed to do?

I don't understand what you mean.

Well, I mean that...

How are you supposed to
get to know somebody?

I mean, I went to the shower room,

I went to the steam room,

and everyone was
running around so much

they didn't even notice me.

- Oh, it's nothing, you
just go to your room

and you lie down in bed...

- (giggling) Look at
those two sitting there

dishing like they're
a couple of old maids.

This is no place to chat, girls.

You can go into Pan Pan's for that.

(laughing)

Well, what was I saying?

Oh, yeah, you uh...

You go to your room and
you get into bed and...

You have to leave the
door open, though.

That's very important,
they'll think you're busy.

I didn't know it was that simple.

Oh, there's nothing to it, really.

(men laughing outside door)

- Well, I hope I'm not
taking up your time,

it's just that, if you'd rather...

No, no, stay.

I would be happy to let you.

(men chattering outside door)

- [Attendant] Hey, speak
low down there will you?

I can hear you screaming
all down the hall!

[Thumbelina] We're going.

Would you...

Would you like some coffee?

There's a restaurant downstairs.

I can go right down and bring it up.

- They don't allow you to
bring anything up to the rooms.

Oh, I'll sneak it up somehow.

Okay?

Okay, I guess so.

I'll be right back.

- Well, I see you've
finished your little chat.

That's all some of them are
good for around here anyway.

The way he looks, I wouldn't
even wanna dish with him.

You've got beautiful skin.

May I touch it?

Please don't.

Why?

Well, my friend'll be right back.

He wouldn't like it.

- Oh, honey, I didn't know
you were hung up on him.

Well, I'll just tip on out.

See ya later.

Oh, hey, Miss Thing.

You're just tripping up
and down the halls tonight.

Getting it, aren't you, girl?

This one's hung.

In which direction?

(giggling)

- I'm sorry, I couldn't
sneak any coffee up,

because they only serve in glass cups,

but I passed this pop
machine in the hallway.

I hadn't noticed it before.

Halls are so narrow.

Which would you rather
have, 7 Up or Coke?

Doesn't really matter.

Oh, okay, I'll put it behind my back

and you pick one.

All right, pick.

Left arm gets the 7 Up.

(laughs) Thanks.

Hope you like it.

Nice the way it sparkles, isn't it?

I remember when I was young.

I used to hold the bottle
right under my nose

and let the bubbles tickle me.

(both laugh)

- You know, I don't
even know your name.

My name is Mr. Jaffee.

Well, mine is Thomas.

Thomas.

It's a beautiful name, Thomas.

Do you get the strange feeling

that someone's staring at us?

Staring at us?

But there's no one here.

There's no one under the bed.

I got the strangest feeling,

even when you were out of the room,

that someone was staring at us.

I just can sense that, when
someone's looking at me.

I always could.

- There's a hole here
with an eye in it.

[Thomas] Oh.

- I'll fix that.
- [Thomas] I knew it.

Here.

No peeking in here anymore.

I knew it, I just...

- No peeking in here,
in someone else's room,

invading our privacy.

[Thomas] I knew it.

I can always sense when
someone's looking at me.

Hey, Miss Thing.

Did you see that
queen that just went by?

My dear, she was at
that drag ball last week

and I tell you, a good old
lemonade jumpsuit,

six-inch heels and earrings
down to her shoulders.

Well, the queens were in an uproar!

God, she liked to pluck my nerves.

I can't wait to jam.

- Oh, listen, I'll see you
later, Taffy,

I'm tipping.

Did you see that
number that just went by?

- I've decided I don't
like this place at all.

It's like a hell for men.

An insane asylum for mad homosexuals.

I don't belong here.

Some of those boys were
giggling and whispering about me

in the hallway.

Whatever possessed you to come then?

Oh, I heard so much about the baths.

They're famous, you know.

They seem to be quite famous.

And an awful lot of people come.

Did you come because of that?

Yes, I suppose so.

No.

I came to get away from my wife.

I wanted one night's
vacation away from my wife.

I came to see what they were like.

I heard it was an
adventure every time.

- I thought you said you
came here four times a week?

(laughs) I did, didn't I?

Well, I was lying to you.

This is my first time here.

And the first time I've
ever taken a steam bath.

Except once, when I was little.

I took one in my
grandmother's bathroom.

Yeah?

How'd you do that?

- I turned on the hot water
in the shower, full blast,

and I closed the window.

In a few minutes, the
room was full of steam.

It wasn't quite as effective
as the ones here, though.

(both laugh)

Hey, Taffy, come here!

I just came down from three, honey,

and I was wrecked.

Well, this trick and
I, we were making it

and then my hands were
going in every direction,

and then I heard a clunk.

Well, he popped out of bed
and switched on that light

and then there was
a pair of false teeth

lying on the floor!

Can you believe that, Miss Thing?

I must have knocked his itty
teeth right out of his mouth!

- Here comes the floor walker,
Miss Thing, let's tip on!

- I just had to have one
nice vacation away from home.

That's all.

I couldn't stand it anymore,

sitting at home doing nothing.

I needed something different.

Watching television,
getting up for work,

going to sleep, watching television...

That's all I've been
doing now for years.

I needed a vacation.

I haven't had one in two years.

It's a wonder I haven't
taken one before.

- [Thomas] Don't you have
any friends to go out with?

Not anymore.

Just like I don't even
have a wife anymore.

But that doesn't matter.

Did you ever try to
make love to a woman

with curlers, metal curlers,
wrapped all over her head

and cold cream slopped
all over her face?

- [Thomas] I can't imagine
myself even attempting it.

Good for you.

Well, my wife, every night,
has a head full of them

and a face full of lard.

In the morning, she pours my coffee,

she has a perfect line
right across her forehead.

She pulls that hairline, that
hairline's so goddamn tight,

I can't even get my finger under it.

Then, when I come home from work,

she's off to the club meetings

and she leaves my dinner nicely
wrapped in cellophane paper.

She comes home at night,

she starts putting her hair in rollers

and slapping on the lard.

The same routine now
for more than 19 years.

It doesn't sound very exciting.

What do you, uh, get
out of being married

all those years when you
have no communication?

When you don't give
one another something?

- Well, she used to give me
something, something beautiful.

But that's all done now.

- Did you say you were tipping
on down to one or three?

- Yes, well, I thought I'd
see who's down the block.

- Okay, well, I think
I'll go with you.

I'm filled for the night.

Oh, honey, did you catch that one?

It's enough to make a
girl drop her beads.

- Ooh, well, I'll see
you later, Miss Parish.

Sure, Miss Thing.

You have pretty feet, Thomas.

I always like well-shaped feet.

Would you mind if I do something?

Guess so.

Sit down.

This little piggy went to market.

And this little piggy went home.

And this little piggy had roast beef.

And this little piggy had none.

And this little piggy...

Cried wee wee wee

all the way home.

- I think feet are
very important, too.

This boy I met once

had two toes stuck
together on each foot.

And I couldn't make love with him.

I just couldn't.

- My wife, Isabella,
has the ugliest feet

I've ever seen in my entire life.

Corns and bunions all over them.

And her toes kind of curl under.

She's always squeezing
her feet into shoes

a size smaller than her own.

She's so vain, she doesn't
want anyone to know

that she's got big feet.

She's always complaining about them,

but she won't put them
in her own proper size.

At night, she wriggles her toes on me,

I can feel her corns
and bunions touching me.

I have to get out of bed sometimes

and wait until she falls asleep.

Good feet are important.

I think well-shaped
feet are very sensual.

They excite me an awful lot.

I can get very engrossed with them.

- I've never had the
nerve to tell Isabella

how I hate her feet.

She'd probably cry if I did.

But I wish to hell she'd
stop touching me with them.

I had this dream once, about her feet.

They somehow got disconnected from her

and started walking
toward me and over me,

up and down, all over my body,

all over my face.

The toes were trying to
get into my mouth.

Ugh, I had to sleep on the
couch for a month after that.

I had this other dream once.

She locked me in the bathroom

and started throwing these
solid balls of blood at me.

Every time they hit me,
they'd splash all over me.

I was covered with blood
by the end of the dream.

Ugh! (shudders)

I wonder what that means.

Dreams are quite fascinating.

They have very deep meanings.

I have a book at home that
tells all about them in detail.

Isabella sometimes leaves her

sanitary pads on the sink

and I end up throwing them out.

It might have
something to do with that.

- Hmm, that is the
most disgusting habit.

I don't know how a woman can forget

to dispose of those things.

I used to work in this restaurant

and part of my job was
to clean out the johns.

Well, these women
would leave those things

all over the place.

Some of them even flushed
them down the toilets.

Stuffed the toilets up with them

and the water would be all over.

And I'd have to take this
long, pole-like thing

and pull 'em out.

It really used to make me sick.

Well.

I finally quit working there.

I just couldn't take it.

It really was quite disgusting.

Hey, Miss Parish.

Where'd you get that shirt, honey?

It's a good one!

Do you like it?

I mobbed it out of a
shop on Greenwich Avenue.

Well, all right, honey!

You can mob me one, too.

Just like it, any time!

It's really together, girl.

I know.

May I touch your face, Thomas?

I just want to put my
hand on your skin.

It's soft.

Extremely soft, like a young boy's.

My son Billy had soft skin.

Like a butterfly's.

What happened to him?

He died.

Oh, forgive me, Mr. Jaffee.

I didn't...

A year ago today, he died.

He was on the high
school football team

and they were touring
the Southern states.

He played one of them.

Alabama.

Just one.

He wanted to be a famous
football star someday.

He had lots of hopes

and he was good, extremely good.

His body was strong and healthy,

it could take the hard
work and training

it takes to make a top football star

and play in one of the big leagues.

Handsome.

Was he ever handsome.

Girls used to call him to make dates,

he was so good-looking.

One of the most fantastic
things about his beauty

was his skin.

It was so soft.

When Billy was a little
boy, we had to be so careful

about what he ate.

Otherwise, he'd break out
in rashes all over his body.

He didn't look anything
like Isabella or me.

People used to joke about that.

They used to say Isabella had
a secret admirer somewhere

that nobody knew about.

He went swimming in
this lake one afternoon

with two of his buddies.

Billy dived in first.

It was only seconds later

when they realized he hadn't come up.

They said it was like a big
vacuum had sucked him under.

They panicked and started
shouting for help, but...

Later that afternoon,
they drained the lake.

They found thousands of snakes,

coiled around each other

And Billy.

There were chunks of
flesh bitten out of him.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so, so sorry.

- We had him brought back
home for the funeral.

There were more than 200 people there.

The football team he played with

and his teachers and friends.

They all sent him flowers.

Millions of dead flowers.

I had them all burned.

I never liked lilies and wreaths

and flowers marked with death.

He had one flower.

A beautiful,

golden

sunflower.

(giggling)

Hey, Miss Thing.

We'd better tip on
down to the tea room

before we go to one and three,

I've gotta powder my nose.

Okay.

Oh, I didn't bring my bag with me.

Oh, well, that's all right,

I've got some gillyflowers with me.

- Oh, but you always
use that blushing pink.

- Well, tip on down
and get your own, then.

Oh!

- He looked as though he'd
died on stage in a play,

with all that pasty makeup
they put on his face.

They stuffed so much
cotton in his face,

his face was all

swollen, distorted.

He always had such good structure.

Our curse.

Woo, woo, woo!

Christ, Mary, what stinks in here?

So you're the one that's wearing it?

Oof, it's Lyme.

How cheap.

You do know it's not in fashion?

It's Lyme, honey.

- [Thomas] Get out of
here, you sick faggots!

Get the fuck out!

She's fresh as hell!

Get out, you freak!

We're going, don't pop your beads!

Come on, girls, let's tip.

You're right, Mr. Jaffee.

It is like an insane asylum here.

Thomas?

There's something I want to give you.

All my valuables are c
hecked downstairs.

Promise me you won't leave, please?

I promise.

(match striking)

Is your name Thomas?

[Thomas] I told you to get out!

Don't be so hostile!

A man by the name of Mr. Jaffee

asked us to deliver
this gay package to you.

Well, hurry up, open it.

Boy, come on, open it up.

Open the gay box.

- Gah, I thought it might be
gay jewels fit for a queen.

- Honey, if somebody gave
me a flower like that,

I'd sit on it.

Well, it would depend on the trick.

- Miss Thing, it was
nothing but a gay flower

and it was this big.

Woo!

It'll take some vase to hold that.

(quietly crying)

And this little piggy cried

wee wee wee

all the way home.

I'm sorry?

Did you say something?

[Thomas] No.

Nothing.

Yeah!

Yes, I did.

I said,

"Come on in."

(funky music)