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1
00:00:02,056 --> 00:00:04,670
But why do they still call
Batman using the Bat-Signal?
2
00:00:04,770 --> 00:00:06,837
Wouldn't it just be, like,
easier to text him?
3
00:00:06,839 --> 00:00:09,073
The Bat-Signal isn't
just to alert Batman,
4
00:00:09,075 --> 00:00:11,342
it's also to strike fear
in the hearts of his enemies
5
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:12,676
and let them know
he's coming.
6
00:00:12,678 --> 00:00:15,713
Sort of like Sheldon's knock.
7
00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:19,717
Comparing me to Batman?
I'll take it.
8
00:00:19,719 --> 00:00:21,585
If we don't do anything,
9
00:00:21,587 --> 00:00:23,721
how long do you think
they'll talk about Batman?
10
00:00:23,723 --> 00:00:28,359
Well, I've know them
for 11 years, so... 11 years.
11
00:00:29,462 --> 00:00:31,395
I believe they do text him.
12
00:00:31,397 --> 00:00:33,864
The-the Bat-Signal is linked
to his phone via Bluetooth.
13
00:00:33,866 --> 00:00:35,399
Has that been
in the comics?
14
00:00:35,401 --> 00:00:37,434
No, it's just what I believe.
15
00:00:38,471 --> 00:00:40,271
All right, I'm putting
a stop to this.
16
00:00:40,273 --> 00:00:43,474
If you knew how,
why'd you wait 11 years?
17
00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:45,309
Hey, guys, guess what?
18
00:00:45,311 --> 00:00:49,313
Today at work, I found out
I am going to meet Bill Gates.
19
00:00:49,315 --> 00:00:51,048
(excited chatter)
20
00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:53,217
Sorry, Leonard,
you and Penny had a good run.
21
00:00:54,086 --> 00:00:56,020
I'm not leaving him
for Bill Gates.
22
00:00:56,022 --> 00:00:59,456
You sure? I-I bet
his Internet's really fast.
23
00:00:59,458 --> 00:01:01,158
How did this happen?
24
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,060
Well, his foundation
is looking to partner
25
00:01:03,062 --> 00:01:05,829
with a pharmaceutical company to
help develop affordable vaccines
26
00:01:05,831 --> 00:01:07,498
so they asked me
to show him around.
27
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,533
That's great.
When's he coming?
28
00:01:09,535 --> 00:01:12,202
Uh, he gets in on Sunday,
and Monday morning,
29
00:01:12,204 --> 00:01:13,837
I'm gonna give him a tour
of the labs and offices.
30
00:01:13,839 --> 00:01:17,908
Oh. He gets in
on Sunday, April first?
31
00:01:17,910 --> 00:01:20,477
(chuckles)
Nice try, Penny.
32
00:01:20,479 --> 00:01:22,880
What're you
talking about?
33
00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:24,248
April Fools' Day.
34
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,916
This is another one
of your classic pranks
35
00:01:25,918 --> 00:01:27,551
you try to pull on me
every year.
36
00:01:27,553 --> 00:01:30,554
Literally never
pulled a prank on you.
37
00:01:30,556 --> 00:01:32,089
Oh, really?
What about last year,
38
00:01:32,091 --> 00:01:34,525
when you sent me that e-mail
with the photo attached,
39
00:01:34,527 --> 00:01:36,627
but you didn't attach a photo.
40
00:01:36,629 --> 00:01:38,362
That was a mistake.
41
00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:40,431
Messing with me? Yes, it was.
42
00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:42,533
And this year,
43
00:01:42,535 --> 00:01:43,667
I am not falling for it.
44
00:01:43,669 --> 00:01:46,437
Sheldon, I swear...
No... what are you doing?
45
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:49,073
Oh, you're right. He's
not coming. April fools.
46
00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:51,108
You know
what they say,
47
00:01:51,110 --> 00:01:52,610
fool me "N" times,
48
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,945
where "N" equals the amount of
times you've already fooled me,
49
00:01:54,947 --> 00:01:56,213
shame on you.
50
00:01:56,215 --> 00:01:59,783
Fool me "N" plus one times,
shame on me.
51
00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:04,922
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
52
00:02:04,924 --> 00:02:08,258
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
53
00:02:08,260 --> 00:02:09,893
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
54
00:02:09,895 --> 00:02:12,429
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
55
00:02:12,431 --> 00:02:15,099
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
56
00:02:15,101 --> 00:02:17,768
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
57
00:02:17,770 --> 00:02:19,670
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
58
00:02:19,672 --> 00:02:20,185
♪ Bang! ♪
59
00:02:20,186 --> 00:02:24,186
♪ The Big Bang Theory 11x18 ♪
The Gates Excitation
Original Air Date on March 29, 2018
60
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:26,187
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
61
00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:27,721
So you're gonna
spend a day
62
00:02:27,723 --> 00:02:29,957
with Bill Gates.
I'm a little jealous.
63
00:02:29,959 --> 00:02:31,391
Well, I'm a little nervous.
64
00:02:31,393 --> 00:02:33,527
You know, if I do a good job,
I'm hoping they'll consider me
65
00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:35,395
for a PR position
that's opening up.
66
00:02:35,671 --> 00:02:38,405
Well, if you're nervous,
I-I know a lot about him.
67
00:02:38,407 --> 00:02:42,109
I can fill you in
or maybe come along, whatever.
68
00:02:42,111 --> 00:02:44,678
I think I'll be okay.
69
00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:46,513
Well, I'm-I'm just saying,
what are you gonna do
70
00:02:46,515 --> 00:02:48,349
when he wants to talk about
high-level language interpreters
71
00:02:48,351 --> 00:02:49,717
for microcomputers?
72
00:02:50,038 --> 00:02:53,472
What are high-level language
interpreters for microcomputers?
73
00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:55,241
A way of programming computers
74
00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:57,343
using words and commands
instead of binary code.
75
00:02:57,345 --> 00:03:00,012
Oh. That's actually kind of
interesting. Tell me more.
76
00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:01,147
Oh, well...
77
00:03:01,149 --> 00:03:03,749
That, I'll do that. Mm-hmm.
78
00:03:03,751 --> 00:03:06,385
- I didn't even see it coming.
- Yeah, well...
79
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:09,522
You never do.
80
00:03:09,524 --> 00:03:12,258
Well, i-it's just,
he's an idol of mine
81
00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:14,627
and I would love the chance
to hang out with him.
82
00:03:14,629 --> 00:03:15,995
Look, I know you
want to meet him,
83
00:03:15,997 --> 00:03:17,763
but I can't turn this
into a social thing, okay?
84
00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,899
This is my job.
I really need it to go well.
85
00:03:19,901 --> 00:03:22,735
I get it, I get it.
You're right.
86
00:03:22,737 --> 00:03:25,004
Actually, I've-I've already
met him once before.
87
00:03:25,006 --> 00:03:27,373
He gave a talk at Princeton
and my mom took me.
88
00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:29,241
Oh, really?
Was he nice?
89
00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:30,576
He's super nice.
90
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:34,080
I-I got pretty emotional
and started crying and...
91
00:03:34,082 --> 00:03:36,782
He didn't make fun
of me or anything.
92
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:38,317
Well, you were a kid.
93
00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:44,924
Uh-huh.
94
00:03:47,795 --> 00:03:50,763
Bye, my babies,
I love you.
95
00:03:50,765 --> 00:03:53,733
(high-pitched):
We love you, too, Mommy.
96
00:03:53,735 --> 00:03:55,301
Yeah, don't do that.
97
00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:57,236
AMY:
Bernadette?
98
00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:01,974
Hi. Where you off to?
El parque.
99
00:04:01,976 --> 00:04:03,442
El parque?
100
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:07,179
I'm learning Spanish so I can
talk to the other nannies.
101
00:04:07,181 --> 00:04:09,448
How's that going?
102
00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,784
Bueno.
103
00:04:11,786 --> 00:04:12,885
Good?
104
00:04:12,887 --> 00:04:16,389
Oh...
105
00:04:16,391 --> 00:04:18,624
No bueno.
106
00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:25,264
- Thanks for coming over.
- No problem.
107
00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:26,599
Can I get you anything?
108
00:04:26,601 --> 00:04:28,367
Juice box? 'Naners?
109
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,102
'Naners?
110
00:04:30,104 --> 00:04:32,104
Sorry. Mom brain.
111
00:04:32,106 --> 00:04:34,340
I think I've forgot how
to talk to grown-ups.
112
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:37,109
I meant Ba-naners.
113
00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:39,145
You know what, I'm good.
114
00:04:39,147 --> 00:04:40,446
Okay.
115
00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:42,314
So, what are we watching?
116
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:44,583
Bob the Builder.
I'll catch you up.
117
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,819
That one's Bob.
118
00:04:46,821 --> 00:04:48,988
He's a builder.
119
00:04:48,990 --> 00:04:51,824
Isn't this a kids show?
120
00:04:51,826 --> 00:04:54,560
It's what we watch
in this house.
121
00:04:54,562 --> 00:04:56,595
Bob the Builder,Dinosaur Train,
122
00:04:56,597 --> 00:05:00,533
and Peppa Pig, which is
both funny and meaningful.
123
00:05:02,170 --> 00:05:04,804
You want to take a break and
maybe get something to eat?
124
00:05:04,806 --> 00:05:06,839
Sure.
125
00:05:08,943 --> 00:05:11,243
Why does it not feel like
we're going?
126
00:05:11,245 --> 00:05:15,548
Hang on, I-I just want
to see if Bob can fix it.
127
00:05:15,550 --> 00:05:18,150
(chuckles)
Yes, he can!
128
00:05:22,457 --> 00:05:23,723
Oh, hey.
129
00:05:23,725 --> 00:05:27,660
I folded your laundry
for you. You're welcome.
130
00:05:27,662 --> 00:05:29,862
Uh, that's not mine.
131
00:05:33,301 --> 00:05:35,301
You're saying that these
aren't yours?
132
00:05:39,841 --> 00:05:41,574
No.
133
00:05:47,415 --> 00:05:48,781
So you're saying
that I'm touching
134
00:05:48,783 --> 00:05:50,616
a stranger's underpants?
135
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:52,351
Yes.
136
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:03,829
And just like that,
it's the worst day of my life.
137
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:07,666
- Wait, why are you being so weird?
- (sighs)
138
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:11,137
It occurred to me that perhaps
you were telling the truth
139
00:06:11,139 --> 00:06:14,473
about Bill Gates and it wasn't
just part of an elaborate prank.
140
00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:16,609
What would the
prank part even be?
141
00:06:16,611 --> 00:06:20,412
I show up to meet Bill Gates
over your "objections,"
142
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:22,148
but it's not
Bill Gates at all, no.
143
00:06:22,150 --> 00:06:24,150
It's one of those look-alikes
that you hire for a party.
144
00:06:24,152 --> 00:06:25,851
And then when
I go around
145
00:06:25,853 --> 00:06:27,753
showing everybody
the balloon animal
146
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:31,323
that "Bill Gates" made for me,
I'll look like an idiot.
147
00:06:31,325 --> 00:06:35,661
Have you been eating
laundry detergent?
148
00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:38,364
I just need you
to tell me the truth.
149
00:06:38,366 --> 00:06:39,865
This is driving me crazy.
150
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:41,700
Sheldon, he is really coming.
151
00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,035
Is he?
He is.
152
00:06:43,037 --> 00:06:44,937
Really?
Yeah.
153
00:06:46,207 --> 00:06:48,474
Well, now I don't know
what to believe!
154
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:52,912
Thanks for getting me
out of the house.
155
00:06:52,914 --> 00:06:54,914
I feel like my brain
is turning to mush.
156
00:06:54,916 --> 00:06:56,015
Happy to help.
157
00:06:56,017 --> 00:06:58,551
Did I show you the video
of the kids sitting?
158
00:06:58,553 --> 00:07:02,822
Yes, you texted it to me
at 3:00 a.m.
159
00:07:02,824 --> 00:07:06,125
Thought someone was either
in jail or dead.
160
00:07:06,127 --> 00:07:08,260
I'm sorry.
161
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,029
No, no, i-it gave me
something to watch
162
00:07:10,031 --> 00:07:12,231
while I tried
to go back to sleep.
163
00:07:12,233 --> 00:07:15,201
You know what? I don't want
to be one of those moms
164
00:07:15,203 --> 00:07:16,902
who can only talk
about her kids.
165
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,638
Okay, well, I'm reading
a pretty good book.
166
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:23,509
It's the untold story of female
artists during the Renaissance.
167
00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:25,477
Oh, I'm in the middle
of a book, too.
168
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:28,547
It's three pages long
and floats in the bath.
169
00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:32,551
All right, we can talk
about something else.
170
00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:34,653
It also quacks
when you squeeze it.
171
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:37,656
You should've seen Michael
laugh. I think I have a video.
172
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:40,626
Or maybe we can't.
173
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:48,467
Why is your screen name
"JohnWilliams"?
174
00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:51,337
Uh, because I always score.
175
00:07:54,175 --> 00:07:56,809
Hey, I think I'm gonna head to
the office for a little bit.
176
00:07:56,811 --> 00:07:58,143
On a Sunday?
Yeah.
177
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,212
Want to make sure
I'm prepared for tomorrow.
178
00:08:00,214 --> 00:08:02,514
Do you think you could
get Bill Gates
179
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,049
to sign something for me?
180
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:05,317
Yeah, maybe, like what?
181
00:08:05,319 --> 00:08:08,454
Oh, my arm, my chest, his call.
182
00:08:08,456 --> 00:08:11,123
His call will be to the police.
183
00:08:13,227 --> 00:08:16,161
Penny, remember when
I introduced you
184
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,097
to 100 calorie Dove bars
185
00:08:18,099 --> 00:08:21,433
and you said you owed me,
like, big-time?
186
00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:23,068
Guys, even if I wanted
to introduce you,
187
00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,503
there is no room
in his schedule.
188
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:26,105
I mean, look.
Look at this itinerary.
189
00:08:26,107 --> 00:08:28,274
I meet him at his hotel
first thing tomorrow morning,
190
00:08:28,276 --> 00:08:30,309
then we're on the go
all day long.
191
00:08:30,311 --> 00:08:31,877
You're right.
Guys, this is her job.
192
00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:32,945
We need to respect that.
193
00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:35,247
Thank you, honey.
Proud of you.
194
00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:36,715
Love you.
195
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,784
(door closes)
196
00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:42,888
I totally just saw
what hotel he's staying at.
197
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:45,124
What are we waiting
here for?
198
00:08:45,126 --> 00:08:46,392
For Penny to walk
down the stairs,
199
00:08:46,394 --> 00:08:48,127
get in her car, and drive away.
200
00:08:48,129 --> 00:08:49,862
Right, smart.
(clears throat)
201
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:57,329
Is that long enough?
She's pretty quick, let's go.
202
00:09:03,985 --> 00:09:06,319
What would you do
if you had a billion dollars?
203
00:09:06,321 --> 00:09:08,254
Same as Bill Gates,
204
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:10,523
try to make the world
a better place,
205
00:09:10,525 --> 00:09:13,893
but I'd do it
in a working Iron Man suit.
206
00:09:13,895 --> 00:09:16,596
I didn't know that came
in a boys' medium.
207
00:09:18,633 --> 00:09:19,966
Th-This is a bad idea.
208
00:09:19,968 --> 00:09:21,167
Maybe we should go.
209
00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:22,902
What are you talking about?
I don't know.
210
00:09:22,904 --> 00:09:24,404
I'm just feeling guilty,
211
00:09:24,406 --> 00:09:26,873
like I'm kind of sneaking around
behind Penny's back.
212
00:09:26,875 --> 00:09:28,374
We're not doing
anything wrong.
213
00:09:28,376 --> 00:09:30,176
We're just hanging out
in a hotel lobby.
214
00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:31,844
Plenty of people
do that:
215
00:09:31,846 --> 00:09:34,947
businessmen,
high-end prostitutes.
216
00:09:38,553 --> 00:09:40,520
That's a fun new game,
217
00:09:40,522 --> 00:09:43,556
CEO or Ho.
218
00:09:43,558 --> 00:09:45,925
No, this is wrong, let's go.
219
00:09:45,927 --> 00:09:48,327
Guys, guys, that's him.
220
00:09:48,329 --> 00:09:50,229
- Be cool.
-Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
221
00:09:50,231 --> 00:09:53,032
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
222
00:09:53,034 --> 00:09:53,956
Cooler.
223
00:09:53,980 --> 00:09:56,152
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
224
00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,940
Uh, M-Mr. Gates, I'm-I'm
Dr. Leonard Hofstadter.
225
00:10:00,942 --> 00:10:02,475
We've actually met before.
226
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,110
Sorry, I don't remember.
227
00:10:04,112 --> 00:10:07,447
You were so nice, a-and
it was really special to me
228
00:10:07,449 --> 00:10:10,650
because you've been such
a big influence on my life.
229
00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:12,151
I mean, ever since
I was a little kid,
230
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:14,387
I've looked up to you
like-like a hero.
231
00:10:14,389 --> 00:10:17,290
Oh, now I remember.
232
00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:19,592
Would you like a tissue?
233
00:10:19,594 --> 00:10:21,494
How about a hug?
234
00:10:21,496 --> 00:10:23,663
How-how about a tissue?
235
00:10:26,067 --> 00:10:28,568
Sorry I talked about
my kids the whole time.
236
00:10:28,570 --> 00:10:30,503
Oh, don't worry about it.
237
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,505
I mean, besides you cutting up
my meat for me,
238
00:10:32,507 --> 00:10:34,874
it was a lovely lunch.
239
00:10:34,876 --> 00:10:37,777
God. What's happening?
240
00:10:37,779 --> 00:10:41,113
I'm a smart, educated,
successful...
241
00:10:41,115 --> 00:10:43,249
"Woman"?
242
00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:45,284
I was gonna get it.
243
00:10:45,286 --> 00:10:47,753
Don't be so hard on yourself.
244
00:10:47,755 --> 00:10:50,523
Pregnancy and childbirth
actually cause physical changes
245
00:10:50,525 --> 00:10:52,258
to the structure of your brain.
246
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:54,961
I liked the old structure
of my brain.
247
00:10:54,963 --> 00:10:58,498
But then, I liked a lot
of my old structures.
248
00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:00,867
Well, these are
positive changes.
249
00:11:00,869 --> 00:11:03,169
Studies with rats
show that new mothers
250
00:11:03,171 --> 00:11:05,905
are more sensitive to danger,
better at multitasking
251
00:11:05,907 --> 00:11:08,908
and bolder
in the pursuit of food.
252
00:11:08,910 --> 00:11:12,478
I did stick a couple
lamp chops in my purse.
253
00:11:13,348 --> 00:11:16,082
So that's what I was smelling.
254
00:11:16,084 --> 00:11:19,519
Look, even though your
brain is different,
255
00:11:19,521 --> 00:11:21,187
in many ways, it's better.
256
00:11:21,189 --> 00:11:22,688
But were you bored?
257
00:11:22,690 --> 00:11:24,190
Of course not.
258
00:11:24,192 --> 00:11:25,691
You're lying.
259
00:11:25,693 --> 00:11:28,661
Which you can tell, because
your maternal brain is better
260
00:11:28,663 --> 00:11:31,464
at sensing nonverbal cues.
261
00:11:31,466 --> 00:11:33,332
Now you're just being
condescending.
262
00:11:33,334 --> 00:11:35,801
(laughs softly)
Look at you, two for two.
263
00:11:41,376 --> 00:11:42,542
LEONARD:
Uh, hold the door.
264
00:11:42,544 --> 00:11:44,176
Hold the door!
265
00:11:46,347 --> 00:11:47,647
(keys jangle)
266
00:11:49,784 --> 00:11:51,484
Oh. Hi, Leonard.
267
00:11:51,486 --> 00:11:54,253
Didn't you hear me
yell "hold the door"?
268
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:56,088
I did. But you know
what they say,
269
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:59,158
"hold the door,
get robbed some more."
270
00:12:00,161 --> 00:12:01,494
No one says that.
271
00:12:01,496 --> 00:12:03,195
Oh. Well, they should,
272
00:12:03,197 --> 00:12:06,299
because it's true,
and it rhymes.
273
00:12:07,168 --> 00:12:08,601
So where have you been?
274
00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:11,604
Actually, I met Bill Gates.
275
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,339
(sighs)
I see.
276
00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:14,574
You're all in on it.
277
00:12:14,576 --> 00:12:16,876
Uh, nice try.
278
00:12:16,878 --> 00:12:19,145
It's not an April
Fools' joke, Sheldon.
279
00:12:19,147 --> 00:12:21,314
I actually went to a hotel
and met him.
280
00:12:21,316 --> 00:12:22,882
Right, right. Okay, so, uh,
281
00:12:22,884 --> 00:12:27,553
"Bill Gates" was at the "hotel"
that you "went to."
282
00:12:28,556 --> 00:12:30,256
Why is "went to" in quotes?
283
00:12:30,258 --> 00:12:31,924
Fine.
284
00:12:31,926 --> 00:12:35,061
So "Bill Gates" was at
the "hotel"
285
00:12:35,063 --> 00:12:37,163
that you went to.
286
00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:40,900
That's you and Bill Gates.
287
00:12:40,902 --> 00:12:42,101
It is.
288
00:12:42,103 --> 00:12:43,869
Were you crying?
289
00:12:43,871 --> 00:12:46,138
No.
290
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:48,407
So,
291
00:12:48,409 --> 00:12:51,143
it wasn't a joke, and I actually
could've met him?
292
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,645
Well, he's probably still there.
293
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,113
(gasps)
What hotel?
294
00:12:54,115 --> 00:12:55,615
The La Quinta Inn
in Thousand Oaks,
295
00:12:55,617 --> 00:12:56,882
under the name Hernandez.
296
00:12:56,884 --> 00:12:59,218
Thank you, thank you so much!
297
00:13:01,289 --> 00:13:02,588
April fools.
298
00:13:07,295 --> 00:13:08,260
Hey.
299
00:13:08,262 --> 00:13:09,295
Hey, where you been?
300
00:13:09,297 --> 00:13:11,197
Uh, just hanging out
with the guys.
301
00:13:11,199 --> 00:13:12,398
They still mad at me?
302
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,266
Uh, they were,
but then I was like, "Hey,"
303
00:13:14,268 --> 00:13:16,569
and they were like, "What?"
and I was like, "You know,"
304
00:13:16,571 --> 00:13:19,205
and they were like, "Okay."
305
00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:21,774
You're a good husband.
306
00:13:21,776 --> 00:13:23,943
Well, it's not for me to say,
but you just said it,
307
00:13:23,945 --> 00:13:25,144
so you're probably right.
308
00:13:25,146 --> 00:13:27,546
Well, as it turns out, there is
309
00:13:27,548 --> 00:13:29,582
a little reception
for Mr. Gates tomorrow night.
310
00:13:29,584 --> 00:13:32,051
I asked if I could bring you,
and they said yes.
311
00:13:35,456 --> 00:13:37,723
What?
312
00:13:37,725 --> 00:13:40,359
Yeah, you get to meet
Bill Gates again.
313
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,962
Wait, what do you mean "again"?
314
00:13:42,964 --> 00:13:44,964
'Cause you met him
that one time with your mom.
315
00:13:44,966 --> 00:13:47,033
Yes.
316
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:48,901
And then again tomorrow,
317
00:13:48,903 --> 00:13:52,371
for a total of two,
and only two times.
318
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:55,174
Yeah. I wonder
if he'll remember you.
319
00:13:55,176 --> 00:13:57,977
Yeah, I wonder that, too.
320
00:13:59,147 --> 00:14:00,913
BERNADETTE (over baby monitor):
The sun is losing about
321
00:14:00,915 --> 00:14:04,216
six times ten to the 12th grams
per second,
322
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,952
so the fraction of the mass
it loses every year
323
00:14:06,954 --> 00:14:09,755
is about ten
to the negative 13th.
324
00:14:09,757 --> 00:14:11,524
But don't worry.
325
00:14:11,526 --> 00:14:15,294
It'll be millions of years
before we all freeze to death.
326
00:14:20,134 --> 00:14:22,334
Sweet dreams.
327
00:14:24,505 --> 00:14:25,705
Wow.
328
00:14:25,707 --> 00:14:29,141
Hop on Pop took
a dark turn there at the end.
329
00:14:29,143 --> 00:14:32,344
Amy made me realize that new
mothers are cognitively primed
330
00:14:32,346 --> 00:14:34,814
to take in new information,
and I've been wasting it
331
00:14:34,816 --> 00:14:38,617
making up songs
about our babies' toes.
332
00:14:38,619 --> 00:14:42,521
To be fair, I cowrote
"Pinky Toe, Pinky Toe."
333
00:14:42,523 --> 00:14:45,357
Evolution gave me this mom brain
to focus on the baby,
334
00:14:45,359 --> 00:14:48,794
but I figure I can hack it to
learn all kinds of new things.
335
00:14:48,796 --> 00:14:50,329
Well, that's great.
336
00:14:50,331 --> 00:14:53,099
Yeah. There was a problem,
and I fixed it.
337
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:56,869
Like Bob the Builder
in that giraffe cage.
338
00:14:56,871 --> 00:14:58,070
Spoiler alert.
339
00:14:58,072 --> 00:15:00,573
I didn't see that one yet.
340
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:04,510
So that's fun.
341
00:15:04,512 --> 00:15:07,279
You get to meet
Bill Gates again.
342
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,749
It's not fun, I'm screwed.
343
00:15:09,751 --> 00:15:12,218
It's fun for us.
(chuckles)
344
00:15:12,987 --> 00:15:15,054
Maybe he won't
remember you.
345
00:15:15,056 --> 00:15:18,257
(sighs)
I snotted on his tie.
346
00:15:18,259 --> 00:15:21,227
Yeah, you did,
like, a lot.
347
00:15:21,229 --> 00:15:23,629
Hello, Leonard.
348
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:26,265
Thought I'd find you here.
349
00:15:26,267 --> 00:15:28,100
You snake.
350
00:15:29,504 --> 00:15:30,569
What's going on?
351
00:15:30,571 --> 00:15:32,004
He sent me all the way
to Thousand Oaks
352
00:15:32,006 --> 00:15:33,239
to meet Bill Gates
353
00:15:33,241 --> 00:15:35,141
when he knew full well
he wasn't staying there.
354
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:36,942
Wha-- Leonard,
that's terrible.
355
00:15:36,944 --> 00:15:38,277
Yeah, why would you do that?
356
00:15:38,279 --> 00:15:42,448
You know he's staying at the
DoubleTree in Long Beach.
357
00:15:42,450 --> 00:15:44,717
Aha!
358
00:15:44,719 --> 00:15:46,418
Wait.
359
00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:48,454
How do I know
you're not tricking me?
360
00:15:48,456 --> 00:15:51,357
We probably are.
361
00:15:51,359 --> 00:15:53,259
But what if we're not?
362
00:15:54,629 --> 00:15:56,796
You think you're so smart.
363
00:15:58,199 --> 00:16:02,768
You think I'm going to fall
for it again, don't you?
364
00:16:02,770 --> 00:16:05,337
Well, I won't.
365
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:06,338
Where you going?
366
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:08,207
Shut up.
367
00:16:10,711 --> 00:16:14,380
Aw, are you sure you can't come?
368
00:16:14,382 --> 00:16:16,782
I want to,
but I'm just too sick.
369
00:16:16,784 --> 00:16:17,883
Aw.
370
00:16:17,885 --> 00:16:20,286
And you really wanted
to meet him.
371
00:16:20,288 --> 00:16:21,554
I know.
372
00:16:21,556 --> 00:16:23,589
And I've been trying
to hide it so I could go,
373
00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:25,391
but I don't want
to make him sick.
374
00:16:25,393 --> 00:16:27,293
Yeah.
375
00:16:27,295 --> 00:16:30,496
Yeah, you do look
pretty pale and clammy.
376
00:16:34,569 --> 00:16:36,368
Yeah.
377
00:16:38,005 --> 00:16:39,205
Have fun.
378
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:41,373
Well, feel better, okay?
379
00:16:48,182 --> 00:16:51,150
No, that's just my regular
pale and clammy.
380
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:56,822
I mean, really, the bigger
danger isn't the loss of mass.
381
00:16:56,824 --> 00:16:57,957
Instead, it will
run out of hydrogen
382
00:16:57,959 --> 00:16:59,792
to use for nuclear fuel,
383
00:16:59,794 --> 00:17:03,295
swell up into a red giant,
and fry the Earth.
384
00:17:03,297 --> 00:17:06,665
So you don't want
to split a salad?
385
00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:07,666
No, thank you.
386
00:17:07,668 --> 00:17:09,001
But speaking
of splitting things,
387
00:17:09,003 --> 00:17:11,136
did you hear about the
light-splitting greenhouse film
388
00:17:11,138 --> 00:17:13,772
that could improve
photosynthetic efficiency?
389
00:17:13,774 --> 00:17:15,507
No.
390
00:17:15,509 --> 00:17:17,543
Just a little something I read
391
00:17:17,545 --> 00:17:19,812
while nursing a human being
that I made.
392
00:17:21,449 --> 00:17:23,148
I'm just gonna get the chicken.
393
00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:24,149
Ah.
394
00:17:24,151 --> 00:17:26,585
N-E-K-C-I-H-C:
chicken backwards.
395
00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:29,388
Boom, mom brain.
396
00:17:30,858 --> 00:17:33,058
And a whole bottle of wine.
397
00:17:35,162 --> 00:17:37,096
Whoa. Oh, oh, oh, oh!
(laughs)
398
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:38,697
In your face!
399
00:17:38,699 --> 00:17:40,866
(Skype chiming)
400
00:17:44,805 --> 00:17:48,340
(weakly):
Hello?
401
00:17:48,342 --> 00:17:50,910
Aw, hey, sweetie,
how you feeling?
402
00:17:50,912 --> 00:17:53,045
(moans)
Okay. I'm just resting.
403
00:17:53,047 --> 00:17:55,981
Well, I have a surprise
that might make you feel better.
404
00:17:55,983 --> 00:17:56,882
Oh, really?
405
00:17:56,884 --> 00:17:59,018
Yeah, look who's here.
406
00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:04,723
Wait, I know you.
407
00:18:04,725 --> 00:18:08,360
No, you don't.
408
00:18:08,362 --> 00:18:09,895
Yes, I do.
409
00:18:09,897 --> 00:18:12,564
You were waiting for me
at my hotel.
410
00:18:12,566 --> 00:18:15,034
You ruined my tie.
411
00:18:15,036 --> 00:18:16,435
Wait, what?
412
00:18:16,437 --> 00:18:17,670
What's he talking about?
413
00:18:17,672 --> 00:18:21,740
Uh, he, uh-- obviously,
he's kidding.
414
00:18:21,742 --> 00:18:23,242
That's a,
that's a good one, Bill.
415
00:18:23,244 --> 00:18:25,411
I got to go.
416
00:18:27,615 --> 00:18:30,249
Stupid Leonard,
417
00:18:30,251 --> 00:18:33,452
meeting stupid Bill Gates,
418
00:18:33,454 --> 00:18:37,589
without stupid me.
419
00:18:39,293 --> 00:18:42,394
Aw.
420
00:18:46,467 --> 00:18:49,234
I am so sorry-- Sheldon?
421
00:18:49,236 --> 00:18:52,404
Oh, Leonard,
I can't stay mad at you.
422
00:18:52,406 --> 00:18:54,306
Come here.
(laughs)
423
00:18:54,308 --> 00:18:56,475
Apology accepted.
424
00:18:57,445 --> 00:18:59,144
What's for dinner? I'm starving.
425
00:19:05,651 --> 00:19:07,484
Hola.
426
00:19:17,510 --> 00:19:18,883
How are you ladies doing?
427
00:19:18,884 --> 00:19:21,184
Raise your hands
if you're bueno.
428
00:19:23,355 --> 00:19:25,088
(Letty laughs)
429
00:19:33,432 --> 00:19:36,399
Me llamo Stuart Bloom.
430
00:19:44,232 --> 00:19:51,132
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
31783
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