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My car's thirsty. Can I please have some water?

God is good. He has sent me a big, strong man.

He didn't say anything to me about sending me anyplace.

I was just passing by.

Yet you did not pass.

That is your... Your car?

That's right. That's my home.

Now, you fix und then...

I have something you do.

(SIGHS) I thank you very kindly, ma'am.

But I got places to go. Thanks for the water.

Now, if it's for hire, you got yourself one man for one day.

- Hire? - You want me to work for you?

For hire, that means for money.

I could build a better fence than your girls.

Schwester Gertrude, SchwesterAlbertine, Schwester Elizabeth, SchwesterAgnes.

I am Mother Maria.

Pleased to meet you all. You got a nice family, ma'am.

My name is Homer Smith.

ALL: Homer. Homer Smith.

- Homer Schmidt. - ALL: Oh, Schmidt.

(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY IN GERMAN)

Herr Schmidt, no fence. We do that ourselves.

Up there, the roof.

You fix?

It couldn't be leaking on a nice day like this.

- Roof only leaks when it rains. - Was?

I'm only kidding. I'll fix it good.

MOTHER MARIA: NOW...

You use this. No, thanks. I've got my own.

(ALL EXCLAIMING IN GERMAN)

Can't do good work without good tools.

And when you hire Homer Smith, you get good work.

Hire.

(ALL EXCLAIMING IN GERMAN)

(cow MOOING)

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

- What's that? - The bed you sleep.

No, I got my own arrangements for that.

- You sleep in here? - Uh-huh.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

Oh, no, no, no, no. You got it just a little bit wrong.

The job is finished. So you pay me and I take off.

- Take off? - That-a-way.

Mmm.

You have such a hurry.

I'm hungry. Figure to find me a chili wagon,

and log at least another 100 miles before I settle down for the night.

We were not put on the earth to hurry, Schmidt.

For supper I ring the bell.

(BELL RINGING)

Schmidt!

(PRAYING IN GERMAN)

ALL: Amen.

(PRAYING IN GERMAN)

- Amen. - SISTER: Amen.

(PRAYING IN GERMAN)

- Amen. - ALL: Amen.

You folks really eating off the land, ain't you?

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(ALL EXCLAIMING IN GERMAN)

- God sets a mighty poor table. - Ja.

Soon we will have "veg-e-tables" too,

and sometimes chicken.

(KNOCKS ON TABLE)

HOMER: Well... MOTHER MARIA: You smoke?

- Yes, ma'am. - Oh. Smoke is all right.

I think I better be rolling.

Do not make hurry.

We are from Germany, from Austria and from Hungaria.

We learn English.

(TRANSLATOR SPEAKING GERMAN OVER GRAMOPHONE)

Please send the valet up to my room.

TOGETHER: Please send the valet up to my room.

(TRANSLATOR SPEAKING GERMAN OVER GRAMOPHONE)

Here is my laundry list.

TOGETHER: Here is my laundry list.

(TRANSLATOR SPEAKING GERMAN OVER RADIO)

Five pairs of socks.

TOGETHER: Five pairs of socks.

(TRANSLATOR SPEAKING GERMAN OVER GRAMOPHONE)

Two pajamas.

- TOGETHER: Two pajamas. -(ALL CHUCKLE)

HOMER: (STUTTERING) Hold it. Hold it.

I could, I could speak English for you.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(ALL EXCLAIM IN GERMAN)

Sure. Anything you want to know, just name it.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

- What is named this? - Phonograph.

Phonograph.

Gramophone.

Phonograph.

- Record. - ALL: Record.

Phonograph, record.

ALL: Phonograph, record.

Phonograph, record is black.

TOGETHER: Phonograph, record is black?

SISTER; Black?

- Stove. - ALL: Stove.

Stove is black.

TOGETHER: Stove is black.

My skin is black.

TOGETHER: My skin is black.

(CHUCKLES) No. Her skin is white. My skin is black.

White?

Weiss. White is weiss.

And black is schwarz.

- And black is schwarz. -(ALL EXCLAIMING IN GERMAN)

No, we better get out. Come on. Watch me.

- Watch me. - No watch. No watch. Shh.

I stand up.

I stand up.

TOGETHER: I stand up.

I sit down.

TOGETHER: I sit down.

(ALL MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)

I stands up, y'all.

TOGETHER: I stands up, y'all.

(ALL LAUGH)

No, no, we gotta get organized now. Everybody sit down.

TOGETHER: Everybody sit down.

Everybody sit down.

TOGETHER: Everybody sit down.

- You stand up. - You stand up.

TOGETHER: You stand up.

- You sit down. - You sit down.

TOGETHER: You sit down.

- We all stand up. - TOGETHER: We all stand up.

(LAUGHING) We all sit down.

TOGETHER: We all sit down.

(ALL LAUGHING)

(ALL MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY)

Please send the valet up to my room.

(SIGHING)

- Good night. - Good... (CHUCKLES) Good night.

- Good morning. Good morning. - Nein. Nein.

Guten Morgen.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

Good night.

You can turn around now.

You sleep, sleep.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

You hold on one minute.

You just hold on one minute.

I mean, I ain't no nun. I'm nobody you can boss around.

See? I get up when I feel like getting up, and if I don't wanna work, I don't work.

Now, if you just pay me, see, I'll be going.

You go? No. You go eat now.

- I'll get my own chow. - Eat!

Well, what are you doing in here?

How come that old lady

ain't got you out there digging ditches and chopping wood

and moving mountains this morning?

Please, you slow talk.

I'm sorry.

That old lady has got a mean streak.

I mean, people got to get their sleep. People gotta have some joy in living.

People gotta eat.

That's a Catholic breakfast?

One egg?

That old lady,

she don't hand out grub like she hands out orders, does she?

Can't a man have some coffee?

Kaffee?

(STAMMERING) Nein. We no Kaffee.

Schmidt.

Mama, I think we ought to get this thing straightened out.

Now, I'll deduct for the dinner and what you call breakfast.

Come. Follow me.

We build a "shapel."

It's very nice. What's a "shapel"?

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

A "shapel."

We build a "shapel" right here.

- Who's "we"? - You.

Lots of luck, mother.

- I ain't building no "shapel." - Yeah, you.

Not only am I ain't building no "shapel," I'm taking off.

- I ain't no contractor. - That is for the beginning.

No!

I don't need all that work. No.

- No? - No.

- All right. - All right.

We women, we build it.

- You do that little thing. - We will. It's God's will.

Oh, boy. Look, I'm checking out.

All right, I'll clean out some of that stuff there for you.

You see, I don't want those girls to break their backs

picking up those heavy beams.

Just a little bit, mind you.

I mean, just to work off that tremendous breakfast you fed me.

- Now, come on. Let's settle up. -(SPEAKING GERMAN)

I hope you're not talking mean to me again.

(STUTTERING) You wanted breakfast in bed?

You talk like American millionaire.

- Yeah, that's me, a millionaire. - Ja.

Wall Street!

(SIGHS)

(IMITATING) "Us women, we will build the chapel."

(BELL RINGING)

Schmidt!

Schmidt!

(BELL RINGING)

Old mother going to feed the slaves?

(PRAYING IN GERMAN)

(STOMACH RUMBLING)

(CONTINUES PRAYING IN GERMAN)

- Amen. - ALL: Amen.

I milk the cow yesterday.

I milk the cow today.

I milk the cow tomorrow.

Very good. Very good.

- Very good, Schwester Elizabeth. - Danke Schoen.

Thank you. Thank you.

- Danke Schoen. Thank you. - Thank you.

Thank you.

- Thank you. - HOMER: Beautiful.

Now you try it, mama. Thank you.

It's time.

- Good night. - Good night.

- Good night, Sister Elizabeth. - Good night.

Good night, Sister Albertine.

Sister Agnes, you be up early, you hear? You've got to milk that poor old cow.

I milk the poor old cow.

(IMITATING COW MOOING)

(LAUGHING)

You like to make jokes, Schmidt, hmm?

This isn't exactly a joke.

Now, I sit down.

I give you a bill.

You pay me for my services.

I put in two good days here, mother.

I mean, I'm for hire, remember, hire!

I speak English not so good.

You wanna take advantage of a poor little country boy like me?

Okay.

Okay, we'll play it your way.

Book of Luke, chapter 10, verse 7.

Your bible is all in German.

I'll read it to you in English.

(HUMMING)

"And in the same house remained, eating and drinking

"such things as they give,

"for the laborer is worthy of his hire."

Now, that's not exactly what I had in mind, but you get the idea.

Hmm.

What you got there? Proverbs 1:4.

(HUMMING SOFTLY)

"Cast in thy lot amongst us, let us all have one purse."

Look, I am a poor man.

I've got to work for wages. Now, I can't work for...

Matthew, chapter 6,

(READING IN GERMAN)

28, 29.

Matthew, chapter 6, 28, 29.

(MOTHER MARIA SIGHS)

Schmidt, read it in English.

"Why take ye thought for raiment?

"Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow.

"They toil not, neither do they spin, yet I say unto you

"not even Solomon in all his glories was arrayed as one of these."

Consider the lilies.

What's that?

You go to bed. Tomorrow Sunday is.

The Mass in town is nine by the clock.

- I'm a Baptist. I don't go to Mass. - We go.

Well, how'd you get there before I came along?

We walk every Sunday. Now we got you.

- Now, damn it! You ain't got me. -(GASPS)

- Good night, Schmidt. - Now get that very straight.

-(SPEAKING GERMAN) - And cut that out.

Bless you, Schmidt.

- Good morning. - Morning.

Good morning.

- No breakfast? - Never before Mass.

Oh.

You girls look nice. Lean, but nice.

- Where's it at? - What, Schmidt?

The church.

Yeah, but where's it at?

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY IN GERMAN)

- Now that's not fair. - Over there, Schmidt.

- Now, come. - Oh, no.

I'm gonna wait in here for you.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

-(TAPPING) You the man? - I'm the man.

- Can I get me some breakfast in here? - Name it.

- I mean a real breakfast? - Whatever you say, sir.

Double OJ, and squeeze it fresh.

So?

A stack of wheat cakes with lots of

melted butter and maple syrup.

And fry me, um...

Fry me three, four, five eggs with a mess of sausages and a mountain

of white toast with strawberry marmalade and...

(SMACKS LIPS) And keep the coffee coming.

- No beans? - You got beans?

- The most, senior. Hmm. - Them too.

You take milk?

(MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)

I said fresh.

I squeezed it myself this morning. What do you want?

Okay.

Huh?

(SOFTLY) Very nice.

Very nice.

Now, melt some cheese over those beans.

Hey, what's the matter? You're not in church.

I'm a Baptist.

What are you doing working for the sisters?

I work for myself.

- How come you're not in church? - I got a business.

- But you're Catholic. - No!

I was born one, but...

- Father Murphy. - What's the matter with him?

- He drinks. - He's a priest.

He's Irish.

Oh.

(SISTERS SINGING IN THE DISTANCE)

Holy, holy, holy, huh?

You pray hard enough

and your stomach doesn't feel empty anymore.

Praying does not pay the rent.

And praying does not fill up the gas.

God ain't gonna get behind this counter and sling hash.

Me, I gotta fill my wallet. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Eh?

- What? - They pay you?

- Sure. - I just wondered.

I heard they don't have a cent. Not a cent.

Crazy, those sisters trying to farm that land.

- They aren't mean enough. - That old mother, she'll do.

- Oh. -(BOTH LAUGH)

You know, old Gus Ritter, he used to own the place,

he could grow potatoes on bare rock.

He left the place to this religious order back in Germany. East Germany.

These sisters came over the wall. They tell you about that?

- No. Like in Berlin? - Si.

Over the wall, across the ocean, across the country, to what?

This. (SCOFFS) They can't even talk the language.

Oh, I've been straightening them out on that score.

Yeah?

- Sho' 'nough. - Sho' 'nough.

(LAUGHS)

Hey, listen.

Uh, you ain't gonna hang around with the sisters?

No. I'm just passing through.

That's right.

The sisters ask you something, you tell them no.

You keep right on going, huh?

- You got a pie there? - Sure.

- Uh, the whole one, can I have it? -It's gonna cost you.

Wrap it. I'm a millionaire from Wall Street.

- My name is Homer Smith. - Juan Aquilito.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Schmidt!

Schmidt!

Schmidt!

Looks like you're being paged.

This is Schmidt.

Schmidt, Father Murphy.

Father Murphy will talk with you.

Pleased to meet you.

(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

Uh, shall we get out of this heat?

I didn't know Catholics had outdoor camp meetings.

I've got five other country clubs like this.

I cover about 400 miles a week.

Welcome to the poor man's Vatican.

Oh.

Mother Superior tells me she believes God sent you to her.

(LAUGHING)

No, I don't think he sent a black Baptist to a Catholic nun.

- No, sir. - Well, that's what she tells me.

She also says you're gonna build her a chapel.

She asked me... (CLEARS THROAT)

But you know how it is. I... I got other fish to fry.

Well, she believes there was a need. She put her trust in prayer.

When I was ordained, how I prayed.

How I prayed for a call to a great majestic cathedral

in some wealthy diocese.

I sent the message up in English and Latin and he answered.

He answered.

I baptize them, christen them, confirm them,

hear their confessions, give absolution, last rites,

bless the remains, fill the tank,

check the oil and water, take off again and pray.

Pray that I don't blow out one of those old tires.

You staying with the sisters?

I'm just passing through.

Well, I think that's for the best.

(SISTERS SINGING IN LATIN)

(ALL SINGING) Amen

Sing another.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

Ave Maris Stella.

(ALL SINGING) Ave Maris Stella

Dei Mater Alma

Atque Semper Virgo

Felix Coeli Porta

Amen

Now that's one you're gonna have to teach me.

- Now you sing. -(SPEAKING GERMAN)

All right.

- What do you wanna hear? - We know Christian song only.

- Just sing,ja? -(SPEAKING GERMAN)

HOMER: All right.

(SINGING) Frankie and Johnny were lovers

Oh, Lordy, how they could...

Well, erase that one. (CLICKS TONGUE)

Uh, tell you what. We... (CLEARS THROAT)

I'll sing one of them down-home, go-to-meeting songs,

and you're gonna have to help me out.

You join in with me, all right? Okay. All you have to sing is Amen.

- ALL: "Ahh-men." - Nicht, "Ahh-men." Amen.

- Amen. - Amen?

Right. Okay? Now, here we go. (CLEARS THROAT)

(SINGING) Amen

Amen

Amen

Amen, Amen

Now, come on.

ALL: (SINGING) Amen

Amen

Amen

Sing it over

ALL: Amen

Amen

Amen

Amen, Amen

See the baby

Amen

Wrapped in the manger

Amen

On Christmas morning

Amen, amen, amen, Amen

See him in the temple

Amen

- Talking with the elders - Amen

Who marvel at his wisdom

Amen, amen, amen

- Down at the Jordan - Amen

- Where John was baptizing - Amen

And saving all sinners

Amen

Amen, Amen

See him at the seaside

Amen

Talking with the fishermen

And making them disciples

Amen

Amen, Amen

Marching in Jerusalem

Amen

- Over palm branches - Amen

In pomp and splendor

Amen

Amen, Amen

See him in the garden

(SOFTLY) Amen

Praying to his father - Amen

In deepened sorrow

Amen

Amen, Amen

Led before Pilate

Amen

- Then they crucified him - Amen

But he rose on Easter

Amen

Amen, Amen

Hallelujah

Amen

He died to save us

And he lives forever

Amen

Amen, Amen

Hallelujah

Amen

He died to save us

Amen

And he lives forever

Amen

(SISTERS LAUGHING)

(BELL RINGING)

MOTHER MARIA: Schmidt!

- Two times I call you for breakfast. - I heard you.

You can keep the cup of milk and the one egg.

You sucker me into breakfast, I'm obliged to work.

- Not me. I'm cutting out. - Was?

This little soul is leaving the roost.

- I'm heading that-a-way. - That-a-way?

I'm leaving.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

Hurry up. Schmidt will take us to Northfork.

- You take us Northfork. - You've got bus fare back?

We get back. Don't worry about us.

Amen.

Well, it's been interesting.

Not profitable, but interesting.

Schmidt, where do you go?

I don't know. West.

LA, San Francisco. Or maybe I'll swing on up to...

Uh, so, goodbye.

Schwester Gertrude.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

Hey, boy)'-

Are you Schmidt?

Well, that's what they call me. My name is, uh, Homer Smith.

Are you the fella who's supposed to build a chapel for those nuns?

They must be kidding.

Why?

Well, they tell me you're their contractor.

- So? - Are you a contractor?

Well, what's wrong with that?

Well, uh, what kind of contractor?

-(CLEARS THROAT) Independent. - You a local man?

I don't remember our doing business before.

I'm out of state.

Well, how did they get mixed up with you?

- How did they ever talk you into this? - Nobody talked me into anything.

Well, they conned me out of some adobe brick and some lumber.

I figured I could write that off.

But, listen, if you're their contractor, like you say,

tell her to take her business someplace else.

My terms are strictly cash. You understand, boy?

I understand. Hey, boy.

- You need a good man? - A good man.

- I can give you two days a week. - Doing what?

- Moving earth. Those. - You got any experience?

I could handle almost any earth-moving equipment you've got.

Two days a week? What are you going to be doing the rest of the time?

What have we been talking about? I'm gonna build me a chapel.

Okay, contractor, I'll pay you the going rate for labor

on whatever job you're assigned.

7:00, Thursday morning,

but if you're snowing me about being able to use that equipment,

you'll be out of here at 7:15.

Just a second.

- Goodbye, Schmidt. - Get in the car.

- We go to the bus stop. - Don't be cute.

I don't want him to think we're having a fuss.

- Fuss? - Yes, fuss.

You don't fuss with your contractor.

We can do it, Schmidt.

There are three ingredients to a job like this.

First, you need a plan. Check? Okay.

Two, you need labor.

But three, you need materials.

Now, that's for openers.

You're gonna need 10, 20, 30, 40 times as many bricks as that.

Can you get them?

Ja.

Okay.

Okay, let's get to work.

If you're still listening, Lord,

would you mind putting a little meat on the table?

Please?

"The work goes well.

"The problem is money.

"I request to your organization,

"which is renowned for its philanthropics..."

- Was? - Philanthropics.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

"The Maxmillian Fund, 711 Fifth Avenue,

-"New York City. - Hmm.

"Highly honored and respected gentlemen,

"permit me to an appeal for financing assistance..."

Wait. A better word.

(SIGHS)

(GRUNTS) Dollars!

- The Lions. - Ja.

- The Elks. - Ja.

- The Order of Moose. - Ja.

Kiwanis.

- What kind of animal is that? - Americans.

Schmidt! You make knocking, like I told you.

We saved for you supper.

- Mmm-mmm. No more bread and milk. - A nice potato soup.

Oh. And that'll make me nice and fat and strong?

- Ja. - And you'd love me fat and strong?

- Ja. -(ALL CHUCKLE)

Oh.

(ALL EXCLAIMING IN GERMAN)

Hey, hey, hey-

(ALL EXCLAIMING IN GERMAN)

What now?

Look your hands. Dirty.

Go, wash your dirty hands and face.

Okay, I will.

And didn't I come and give for you the English lesson, nein? Ja.

TOGETHER: Ja.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

Uh, how about thanking me too, eh?

No, I thank him. You, you couldn't help yourself.

Oh, boy.

-(SINGING) Wrapped in the manger - ALL: Amen

On Christmas morning

Amen

Amen, Amen

See him in the temple

Amen

- Talking with the elders - Amen

Who marvel at his wisdom

Amen

Amen, Amen

- Down at the Jordan - Amen

- Where John was baptizing - Amen

And saving all sinners

Amen

Amen, Amen

- Come with us, Schmidt. - No, ma'am.

You all go to your Mass. I'm gonna go feed my Baptist stomach.

Come!

Good people of Piedras.

You have seen this man who brings us now to the Mass,

but you did not know who he was, what he was.

I tell you now. His name is Homer Schmidt.

He is not of our faith,

but he was sent to us by our God,

who is the God of all faiths.

Now he is building us a "shapel."

(ALL MUTTER INDISTINCTLY)

It is true!

And so we will all see it, a miracle!

Hey, mother!

- I laid my last brick. - A good start.

- And I ran out of board. - Everything works out.

Look, I'm ready to keep going, you know, but...

Everything works out.

Yeah, you said that.

Tomorrow, you for Ashton work?

Yeah, tomorrow and the next day. Why?

Well, then, we see.

Look, we had this bargain and I kept my end.

Now, everything works out. It's God's will.

- That we get brick or we don't get brick? - Whatever.

You would've made a great lawyer, you know that?

(MUSIC PLAYING OVER GRAMOPHONE)

(SIGHS)

(MUSIC STOPS)

Popkin.

Sherman.

Good night.

Smith.

Tell me, how's the contracting business?

It's all right.

Just out of curiosity, what are you using for materials?

Uh... (CLEARS THROAT) We're expecting a new shipment.

(CHUCKLES)

(PLATE CLATTERING)

(DOOR CLOSES)

The bricks?

Why do you buy things to eat we do not need?

Now just a minute.

You know, you are very large on religion and all the rest of it,

but you don't even know how to accept a gift from somebody

without making them feel small.

- Small. You follow? - Poor man.

His feelings is hurt.

I'm not twisting your arm for any big thank yous,

but I'm through feeling small.

I got all the patience in the world. All the patience in the world!

Then why do you work on the road gang when you should build the "shapel"?

Where are the bricks?

They will come. Maybe not tonight,

but there's other things you could be busy.

Raking and planting trees.

We had this contract. You failed to keep your part.

I fail because I put my faith in people instead of in God!

Well, forget it.

It was an invisible contract anyway. I don't believe you anymore.

Who are you not to believe me?

Huh? Somebody passing through that-a-way?

Me, I come 8,000 miles to this place.

You cry about a few bricks which are not here when you want them.

Do you know what we went through to get to this place?

You will not stand in the way of this "shapel."

No! It will be done.

Well, good luck, Charlie, and you deal me out.

Yeah. You know that stuff you wear, you think it's a uniform

that makes you some kind of a cop or something,

laying down the law, throwing your weight around.

Yeah. You sound like

one of them old war movies, a regular Hitler!

Well, you get yourself another boy, huh?

(DOOR SLAMS)

(ENGINE STARTS)

(HAMMERING)

-(STRUGGLING) -(CLUCKING)

Mother Maria!

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

Nein. He left nothing.

Nothing.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

Nothing.

You mean you haven't heard anything from Smith?

- Nein. Nothing. - But it's been over three weeks.

We thought at least he write picture postcard.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

- He will return. - You sure of that?

Yeah. Well, I wouldn't get too upset about it, ma'am.

He's shiftless and irresponsible. You know the type.

But if he should come back,

tell him I'll hold his job open for a little while.

He's a pretty good man with a bulldozer.

Smile at the people.

And don't say anything.

Go get your breakfast.

Good morning.

Morning.

Such a beautiful morning.

Aye, chihuahua.

Business Sunday mornings seems to have gotten better since I left.

- A question. Why? - Why'd I take off?

No. Why you come back?

What's it to you?

JUAN: Si, si, si, si, si, si. Gracias.

Now you have done it.

Hmm?

That was a messenger. They want to know if you are back to stay.

I have told them yes. I make them happy.

Now you will have the big breakfast, huh?

- What will it be? -(CLAPS LOUDLY)

A Coke.

"Wash yourself, Schmidt.

"Wash away the stink."

(GASPING)

(SHIVERING)

Why didn't they ask me to build a bathtub with nice hot water?

That'd make more sense.

"Wash yourself, Schmidt."

(SHIVERING)

(cow MOOING)

Now that's the first kind word I've had since I got back.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

What bugs me, she was so positive I was coming back.

You wouldn't happen to have a nice cold can of beer on you, would you?

(SIGHS) I must be out of my skull coming back here.

Schmidt!

-(ALL EXCLAIMING IN GERMAN) - Schmidt!

Schmidt, look. All these bricks.

Gracias.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

- Don't work them by themselves. - This isn't gonna be enough.

- All right. - All right, what?

Oh, we pray some more.

(ALL SPEAKING IN GERMAN)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

Semior, we have come to help you.

Thanks. Uh, I thank you very much, but I don't need any help. Thank you.

(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

Are you sure you are doing the right thing?

You prayed up a lot of bricks, mama,

but you only prayed for one man to build your chapel.

(SIGHS)

Hey, amigo. I had to come see the one-man cathedral.

This is all you have done in one week?

God, he made the whole world in that time.

And he was able to rest.

Hey, notice your audience.

HOMER: I can't get rid of them.

They heard it was the best show in town. (LAUGHING)

(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

(ALL LAUGH)

Move your foot off of my adobe.

Where would you like us to bury you?

- Under the altar? - Move your foot off of my adobe.

(SIGHS)

You do not want it? Do not take it.

Step over it and go get another one.

Gracias.

A piece of pie?

I'm not hungry.

-(SPEAKING GERMAN) -(CHUCKLES)

What's this?

I wanted to build it myself.

Those people help you and all is well.

I don't want any help. I wanted to build it myself.

That way it would be built slowly and, and carefully.

And so now it is fast and ready the sooner.

The Archbishop,

if he is busy, he will not come, but I think we should invite him.

Look, uh, you see, all my life

I wanted to really build something, you know.

Well, maybe if I'd had an education,

I would have been an architect or even an engineer, see? You know...

And throw the Golden Gate Bridge across San Francisco Bay,

and even maybe build a rocket ship to Venus or something.

I'm not getting through to you.

Well, the "shapel" is being built, and that's all that matters.

I wanted to build it myself.

God is building out there the "shapel,"

and you sit here feeling sorry for yourself because you are not him?

Aww. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Ah!

(DOOR SLAMS)

He did not finish the Kaffee.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

- You build the walls too high. - No comprende.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

(MOTHER MARIA SPEAKING GERMAN)

Mother Mafia. No comprende sus instrucciones.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(OVERLAPPING GERMAN AND SPANISH)

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(SPEAKING IN OTHER LANGUAGE)

Der Wand is for support and the wall...

Madre Mia! What am I doing here?

(CLAMOR CONTINUES)

Amigo.

(SISTERS SCREAMING IN GERMAN)

Everybody, everybody, everybody.

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

Look, you promised them a chapel. Now they will have nothing, nada.

...with practical application.

Oh! Oh, don't, do not stop now.

Okay, okay, I thought you was loco.

I was wrong. You was right.

You see, I have the big humility, amigo.

How about you?

MOTHER MARIA: It is you who have worked. Do not stop now.

The walls, the walls are high too much.

The padre was right.

You quit, they go home.

The walls fall down. The rain, she melts the bricks.

The wind, she blows away the dust.

They will be back getting their spiritual comfort from the...

From the back end of a pie wagon.

MOTHER MARIA: Now come, please. Come back, like it was.

Everyone working together and laughing and singing.

And that's the way how it should be.

HOMER: Hold it!

Everything is cockeyed.

That beam. Mario, Pedro, it belongs there.

Look, here's the way it goes.

That beam sits on a joist and it supports the roof.

- You got it? -(ALL AGREE)

And the walls, the walls, they're not high enough.

We need more adobe all around.

(ALL AGREE)

- Some boss, huh? - ALL: Si.

Every job needs a boss who knows what he's doing.

I'm no boss, but I just know how I want my chapel built.

Now, Felipe,

once we get that beam in place, uh, we're gonna pitch the roof, yeah?

Like this. You follow?

- El boss! - ALL: El boss!

All right now, vémonos, vémonos. Let's get this show on the road. Let's go.

Let's go.

And you girls, these men are gonna need food, lots of it,

so start squeezing that cow and buttering up those sandwiches.

- ALL: Yes. - More adobe in here!

Let's go! You too, mama. (SPEAKS IN GERMAN)

Hitler.

(SISTERS SPEAKING GERMAN)

(BOTH LAUGH)

(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

- Adobe. - They do it this way for 10,000 years.

- Feels good. - Yeah.

Boss wants more adobe.

Oh, ja. Ja.

Where is the boss?

Hey, two more men on this. Hey, Miguel!

I need you topside to tie off this strut.

Easy does it. Hold it there.

Hold it there.

- What is it, boss? - Get up there and tie up that side.

He'll be up in a second.

I, uh... I heard about this in town.

Yeah, you did?

Juan. Are the barbecues ready?

Oh, si. Si, senior.

Well, let them tie off this joint and call lunch.

Okay, boss.

Some boss. (CHUCKLES)

(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

Lunch, lunch.

Lunch, lunch.

Say, uh, where'd you get all the material?

Oh, the people give them, senior.

- What for? - A man, he gives wood, bricks.

His time, what does he get? A chapel.

A place where his children can receive the sacraments.

To these men, for their children to have faith, it is important.

- Is that why you're here? - Well, to me it is insurance.

To me life is here on this earth.

I cannot see further, so I cannot believe further.

But if they are right about the hereafter, I have paid my insurance, senior.

Hey, boss!

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

-(BOTH LAUGH) - Oh, danke.

Was there something I could do for you, Mr. Ashton?

Oh, well, I'm, uh, kind of shorthanded, you know.

- Getting good labor is always a problem. - Oh, really?

Uh, I've got a new freeway deal.

I'm sorry, Mr. Ashton, but I got me a church contract.

Well, when you're finished, I could use a foreman, Mr. Smith.

Thanks, Mr. Ashton.

But when I'm finished here, I'll be moving on.

- But thanks. - MAN: Semior Homer.

Oh.

Well, we're gonna have to find a very special place to put that, eh?

Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, this, you better take this to Mother Maria.

Huh?

Everybody wants to give.

JUAN: Hey, mister. Mister.

Today we raise the roof. Tonight we have fiesta. You come?

Oh, no. No thanks.

I've got something I have to do, but, uh, thanks.

JUAN: De nada. Adios.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(MEN YELLING)

Und God...

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(MUSIC PLAYING)

(LAUGHING)

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

(SPEAKING IN SPANISH)

If they build a house, a barn, it's always a fiesta.

A fiesta! In my "shapel"!

(LAUGHING)

Viva e! gringo!

(ALL SCREAM)

Gringo!

I don't know if that's a step up or a step down

-from something else I've been called in life. -(ALL LAUGH)

(VEHICLE APPROACHING)

Well, you are awake?

- I guess so. - Good.

Why'd you go and do that?

The women last night, they say that is the only thing

when a man has been mixing wine with tequila.

I'm gonna mix you with tequila.

-(WHIMPERS) - Aye, chihuahua.

Por favor, shut that thing off!

Good morning.

I brought something over for your chapel.

They're, uh, seconds, but I figured you could use them somewhere.

They were just taking up space at the yard.

- What do you think? - We could crush them.

- Crush them? - Use them for gravel for the walk.

But those are worth...

Well, I mean, uh...

Well, they've been fired good and strong.

- Thanks. - MOTHER MARIA: Mr. Ashton!

Mr. Ashton.

I should've sent those bricks over anonymously.

He's very generous.

He sees we're building with adobe, he gives us bricks.

They're very expensive. I wonder what made him do it.

- Insurance. - What?

Ah, forget it.

Mr. Ashton, we need bricks,

we need lumber, we need shingles and plenty of cement

because we will build a school and a hospital.

And we need beams. Please, Mr. Ashton.

Do you understand? Build, build.

ASHTON: Hey, Smith.

You and your chapel, getting everybody involved.

You've been making a lot of mischief around here.

- What's the matter? - Now she's really after me.

- But the chapel's almost finished. - Oh, no, she's just beginning.

Next she'll want a school, and then it's a hospital,

and only God knows, and she, what comes next.

You know, only so much is deductible. She's gonna be on my back from now on.

That sweet old lady?

- Semior boss, can I help you? - No, gracias. This part is mine.

This part is mine.

- Semior Smith, will it have bells? - Sure. Someday.

(PIANO PLAYING)

So.

So.

Tomorrow the first Mass is.

See?

Seat in the front, you, where all the people can see you.

And every one of these bricks over the door I put in myself.

A real church for you to say the Mass.

Es verdad, Padre.

There is so much to do. So much to do.

(STUTTERING) Tomorrow, from Northfork, the town choir is coming.

Little boys and girls, such beautiful voices you, you... You never have heard.

Forgive me.

They will stand over there.

And up there, flowers.

On both sides of the altar, flowers. Nothing but flowers.

I have much to do. Much to do.

Many years ago I made a very vain and selfish prayer.

Now he has answered my prayer through you,

through many people.

I... I pray now I become worthy of his trust, and yours.

There's so much to do. So much to do.

(ALL SINGING) Ave Maris Stella

Dei Mater Alma

Atque Semper Virgo

Felix Coeli Porta

Amen

Do you feel all right?

Tonight you are not smiling, Herr Schmidt.

Come on. Smile.

This is like the first night you come, ja?

- MOTHER MARIA: Schmidt! - Nothing's changed.

Schmidt.

You did not fasten the pews to the floor.

It's done.

You must oil the doors so they will not squeak in the Mass.

It's done.

But the rail of the altar you did not fix.

Everything is done.

Ja?

Ja.

Then it is all finished.

It's all finished.

I done builded you a "shapel."

You built me a chapel.

Correction. "Sank" you.

Correction.

Thank you.

That's very nice.

Well, it's... It's English lesson time.

- I built a chapel. - ALL: I built a chapel.

- You built a chapel. - ALL: You built a chapel.

- Oh, we built a chapel. - ALL: We built a chapel.

He built the chapel.

- Amen. - ALL: "Ahh"-men.

-"A"-men. - ALL: Amen.

(ALL SINGING) Amen

Amen

Amen

Amen, Amen

Sing it over

Amen

Amen

Amen, amen, amen

See the baby

Wrapped in the manger

On Christmas morning

Amen, amen, amen

See him in the temple

Talking with the elders

Who marvel at his wisdom

Amen, amen, amen

Down at the Jordan

Where John was baptizing

And saving all sinners

Amen, amen, amen

See him at the seaside

Talking with the fishermen

And making them disciples

Amen, amen, amen

Marching in Jerusalem

Over palm branches

In pomp and splendor

Amen, amen, amen

See him in the garden

Praying to his father

In deepened sorrow

Amen, amen, amen

Led before Pilate

Then they crucified him

But he rose on Easter

Amen, amen, amen

Hallelujah

He died to save us

And he lives forever

Amen, amen, amen

Hallelujah

(CAR E N G I N E STARTS)

Amen, amen

(CHURCH BELL TOLLING)

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