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1
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,960
Oh, it's a lovely part
of the world, isn't it?
2
00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:32,236
All those beautiful trees
and fields
3
00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:34,556
and variety of birds.
4
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:36,320
Yes, that's true.
5
00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,600
And you can just go there
and get away from it all,
6
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,080
away from the helter-skelter
of modern life.
7
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:44,240
Because we all do need
8
00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,480
our solitude, don't we?
9
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,280
Yes, we do.
10
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:51,160
I mean, nowadays,
it's not easy to find the time to...
11
00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:53,600
I don't know...
enjoy life.
12
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,440
Because there's always things to do.
It's all so hectic, isn't it?
13
00:00:56,440 --> 00:01:00,400
All of us just rushing around,
letting things get on top of us.
14
00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:03,280
And quite honestly,
what's the point?
15
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,240
- Have you finished?
- Um, yes.
16
00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:06,800
Thank you.
17
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,120
I think those prawns
might be a bit off.
18
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:10,320
Oh, I don't think so.
19
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,800
- They do taste rather funny.
- No one else has complained.
20
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,800
Well, I really do
think they're off.
21
00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:16,600
But you've eaten
half of them.
22
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:19,800
- Well, I didn't notice at the start.
- You didn't notice at the start?
23
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,000
Well, it was the sauce.
I wasn't sure.
24
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,760
So you ate half
to make sure?
25
00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:25,120
My wife thinks
they're off.
26
00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:27,000
Did you want another
first course?
27
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:28,960
- No, thank you.
- Are you sure?
28
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:31,560
- No, really. Just the main...
- We'll just cancel it.
29
00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:33,720
Deduct it from the bill,
is that what you mean?
30
00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:34,720
As it's inedible.
31
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,160
Only half of it is inedible,
apparently.
32
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,480
Well, deduct half now,
33
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,400
and if my wife brings the other half up
during the night,
34
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,280
we'll claim the balance
in the morning.
35
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,600
Now, we'd like
our lambs, please.
36
00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:48,320
Well, three we know
have passed on this year,
37
00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:50,320
all in their early 60s,
38
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,040
so I've cut out butter,
and I tell you...
39
00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:55,508
Here.
Thank you.
40
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:59,520
No, really...
it's all right.
41
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:03,080
- But it's all gristle!
- No, honestly.
42
00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:05,800
Oh, there's
a nice bit, see?
43
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,680
Oh, Doris, it's awful!
44
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,840
No, dear, it's not
as bad as that.
45
00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,520
I've had worse.
46
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,920
I don't know how
they get away with it.
47
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:14,960
Everything all right?
48
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,400
- Yes, thank you.
- Thank you.
49
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,800
- Everything to your satisfaction?
- Oh, yes, thank you.
50
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,800
Thank you.
51
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:23,760
Why don't
you say something?
52
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:25,840
There's is no point, is there?
We just won't come here again.
53
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,160
Then I'll say something.
54
00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:29,480
It won't do any good.
We're leaving tomorrow.
55
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:30,800
Well, I'm going to.
56
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,440
I mean, we've been
sitting here waiting
57
00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,795
for nearly half an hour,
and it...
58
00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:37,560
- What's this?
- S�?
59
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,560
I ordered
the cold meat salad,
60
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,320
and I've been waiting
about half an hour for it.
61
00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:42,520
- Salad?
- Yes.
62
00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:44,040
You want change?
63
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:45,440
No, I don't want
to change...
64
00:02:45,440 --> 00:02:47,920
- Okay.
- Where are you going?
65
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:49,400
I don't want this.
66
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:50,800
You say
you no want change.
67
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:53,473
I want the salad.
68
00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:56,320
Honestly.
Go on.
69
00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:58,520
- Oh, excuse me.
- Yes?
70
00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,560
We've been waiting
for about half an hour now.
71
00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:02,480
I mean, I gave the waiter
our order...
72
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:03,920
Oh, him.
He's hopeless, isn't he?
73
00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:05,200
I don't wish to complain,
74
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,880
but when he does bring something,
he's got it wrong.
75
00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,400
You think I don't know?
You only have to eat here.
76
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:11,440
We have to live with it.
77
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,640
I had to pay his fare
all the way from Barcelona,
78
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:16,520
but you can't get the staff, you see.
It's a nightmare.
79
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,990
You were supposed to be
complaining to him.
80
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:22,669
Ah.
81
00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:36,160
- Sorry about that.
- Thank you.
82
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:37,513
Extraordinary!
83
00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,591
- Excuse me.
- What?
84
00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:50,833
Look!
85
00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,920
Thank you so much.
86
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,399
Enjoy your meal.
87
00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,115
- You haven't forgotten our lambs, have you?
- No, they're coming, they're coming!
88
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:09,800
Excuse me.
89
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,155
There's sugar
in the salt cellar.
90
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,800
Anything else?
91
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,800
I've put it
all over the plaice.
92
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,800
All over the place?
What were you doing with it?
93
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:23,280
All over the plaice!
94
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:25,560
Polly, would you ask Terry
not to finish yet?
95
00:04:25,560 --> 00:04:27,680
We need another one of these.
There is sugar in it.
96
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,680
- What a sweet plaice.
- What?
97
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:30,840
I'll have it re-placed.
98
00:04:30,840 --> 00:04:33,360
Why is there sugar in this salt cellar?
What do you think we pay you for?
99
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,400
My staying power?
100
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,240
The lambs?
101
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,117
Yes, I'm getting them,
I'm getting them.
102
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,280
- Uh, excuse me.
- Yes?
103
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:45,960
Do you think we could
cancel our fruit salads?
104
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,680
Well, it's a little tricky,
chef's just opened the tin.
105
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:50,760
- Oh.
- Never mind.
106
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,830
I'm sure it'll be very nice,
thank you.
107
00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:54,795
- There we are.
- Oh, thank you.
108
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:59,320
Yes, I do like really
beautiful places...
109
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:01,000
Busy this evening,
isn't it?
110
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,520
I'll tell you one
of my favorites.
111
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:04,800
I said,
"It's busy this evening."
112
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,680
- I'm talking to Mr. Libson, Basil.
- Good, well, that's a help.
113
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:08,840
I'm sure you can cope.
114
00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:10,880
Oh, yes, I can cope, dear.
Coping's easy.
115
00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:13,760
Not pureeing your loved ones,
that's the difficult part.
116
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,800
Did you know, Bidiford Bridge
117
00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:17,000
has all different sizes...
118
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,120
there's someone at Reception.
Should I get it?
119
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,120
- Yes.
- My turn, is it? Fine.
120
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,560
Oh, yes. So it is.
121
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,600
Funny, it's been my turn
for 15 years.
122
00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,000
Still, when I'm dead,
it'll be your turn, dear.
123
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,800
You'll be it.
124
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:31,160
Excuse me.
There are two lambs here.
125
00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:33,400
I'll have them removed
if they're bothering you.
126
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:34,760
What?
127
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:35,000
Yes?
128
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:35,800
Yes?
129
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:38,560
Good evening.
130
00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:39,675
Are those ours?
131
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:41,680
Not yet.
132
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:42,800
Good evening.
133
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,000
I reserved a room
by telephone this morning.
134
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,480
Mr. And Mrs. Hamilton.
135
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,800
Indeed, yes,
I remember it well.
136
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,760
Ah, excellent.
Hamilton, yes.
137
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:51,760
That's right.
138
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,880
May I welcome you
to Fawlty Towers.
139
00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:54,920
I trust your stay
140
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:57,480
will be an enjoyable
and a gracious one.
141
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,789
- Could we have those now?
- Oh, by all means.
142
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:03,320
- Finished with them, have you?
- Absolutely.
143
00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,038
Bon appetit.
144
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:11,120
I recommend the self-service here.
It's excellent.
145
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,680
- That'll be all, thank you.
- What?
146
00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:14,600
Your lambs will be getting cold,
Mr. Johnston.
147
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:15,800
Colder.
148
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,720
If you'd like them
warmed up...
149
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:18,920
Forget it!
150
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,798
You could get your wife
to sit on them.
151
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:26,600
I'm so sorry,
but the rubbish we get in here.
152
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:29,280
If you'd be so very kind
as to fill that form out.
153
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,160
Mr. And Mrs. Hamilton...
154
00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,040
Ah, yes, we've put you
in room 12
155
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:37,591
which has a charming panoramic view
overlooking the lawn.
156
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,640
What a drive, huh?
157
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:44,040
Everything on the wrong side
of the road, the weather...
158
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:45,840
What do you get for living
in a climate like this,
159
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:47,840
Green Stamps?
It's terrible!
160
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,600
Sorry about this.
161
00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,440
Took five hours from London,
couldn't find the freeway.
162
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:55,240
Had to take a little back street
called the M5.
163
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,360
Oh, I'm sorry if it wasn't
wide enough for you.
164
00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,590
A lot of the English cars
have steering wheels.
165
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,000
They do, do they?
166
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,680
You wouldn't think there was
room for them inside.
167
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,560
See what I mean?
168
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:08,560
What?
169
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:10,600
Rub-bish.
170
00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,716
May I introduce my husband?
171
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,600
All the rubbish we get in here.
Look at that.
172
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:21,720
- Basil.
- More rubbish, dear.
173
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:23,517
- What?
- More of that bloody rubbish.
174
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,480
Polly and Manuel
are going, Basil.
175
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,400
Just dealing with
Mr. And Mrs. Hamilton, dear.
176
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:29,960
- Good evening.
- Good evening.
177
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,000
Manuel!
178
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,600
Manuel will bring
your bags to your rooms.
179
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,200
I hope you enjoy
your stay and...
180
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,960
Thank you. Do we need
to reserve a table for dinner?
181
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:38,440
Dinner?
182
00:07:38,440 --> 00:07:40,080
Yes. Problem?
183
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,360
- Well, it is after 9:00.
- So?
184
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,040
Well, we do actually
stop serving at 9:00.
185
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,040
9:00?
186
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,480
If you could go straight in...
187
00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:47,880
We've driven
five hours to get here.
188
00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,520
We'd like to freshen up,
have a drink first, you know?
189
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,120
You couldn't do
that afterwards?
190
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,031
Do what?
191
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,200
You mean have our drink-before-dinner
after dinner,
192
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:57,200
freshen up, and go to bed?
193
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,920
If you could, it would
make things easier for us.
194
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:02,200
Shall we go to bed now,
would that make it easier for you?
195
00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:03,920
We're a little tired, fella.
196
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,360
We want to clean up,
be down in a few minutes.
197
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,880
Yes, but the chef does
actually stop at 9:00.
198
00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:09,240
9:00!
199
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:10,240
9:00!
200
00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,640
Humph!
201
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,080
So why does your chef
stop at 9:00, huh?
202
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,360
He got something
terminal?
203
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,800
No, but that's when he,
in fact, stops.
204
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,440
Uh-huh. Now, look,
205
00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,720
we drove from London
to stay here, right?
206
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:24,920
Are you telling me
207
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:26,920
that you can't stay open
a few minutes longer
208
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,200
so that we can eat
properly?
209
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,320
Well, we can do you sandwiches.
Ham... cheese...
210
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:31,960
- We want something hot.
- Toasted sandwiches?
211
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:33,480
- You're joking?!
- Not really.
212
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,120
"Not really."
Can you believe this?
213
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:36,760
What the hell's wrong
with this country?
214
00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:39,000
You can't get a drink after 3:00,
you can't eat after 9:00!
215
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,040
Is the war still on?
216
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,960
- No, but it's the staff, you see.
- Oh, it's the staff.
217
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:43,920
- We have to get the staff...
- How much?
218
00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:46,320
How much of this
Mickey Mouse money do you want
219
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:47,720
to keep the chef on
for half an hour?
220
00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:50,439
One, two, three... �20, huh?
That enough?
221
00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:56,230
- I'll see what I can do.
- Thank you.
222
00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:01,000
Uh, excuse me. Pardon! Pardon!
Excuse me, please!
223
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,719
This way! Por aqu�.
This way, please.
224
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:15,440
Gosh, that does look
absolutely marvelous, doesn't it?
225
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:18,000
Oh, um, Terry,
I almost forgot.
226
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,720
Some guests have just arrived,
right at the last moment, as usual.
227
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,480
I'm sorry, but this puts us out
just as much as it puts you out.
228
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,520
- It don't put me out, Mr. Fawlty.
- No, but they want some dinner,
229
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:28,800
and they insist first
on scraping off some of the filth
230
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,000
that somehow got caked to them
cruising down the M5.
231
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,680
Well, I got my class
tonight, Mr. Fawlty.
232
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:34,600
- I'm ready, Terry!
- Right-o, Poll.
233
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:35,600
No! Wait!
234
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,880
Did I say I will make it up to you?
Out of my own pocket.
235
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,880
It's not the money, Mr. Fawlty.
My karate means a lot to me.
236
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,800
Half an hour's overtime
and a taxi.
237
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,080
Mr. Fawlty,
if I miss a week,
238
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:47,840
next week I don't
get out in one piece.
239
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,120
An hour's overtime.
240
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:50,800
Sorry, Mr. Fawlty.
241
00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:52,800
What am I going
to say to them?
242
00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,040
Two hours.
243
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,600
- What?
- Two hours overtime.
244
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,200
I thought you said
it wasn't the money.
245
00:09:58,200 --> 00:10:00,800
It ain't, but I can't think
what you're gonna say to your guests.
246
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,234
Terry, I'd pay you two hours overtime
if I could afford it!
247
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,720
Sorry, Mr. Fawlty.
248
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,200
An hour and a half.
249
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:09,520
- Cash?
- Cash.
250
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:11,800
An hour and a half,
but I go at half past 9:00,
251
00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:14,280
- then I still get some of me class, right?
- And I do the washing up?
252
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,680
- You know how it is, Mr. Fawlty.
- Yes, I pay you for an hour and a half,
253
00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:21,040
you clear off after half an hour,
that's how it is. That's socialism.
254
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:22,800
Oh, no, that's
the free market.
255
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:23,920
Come on, Terry.
256
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:25,600
Musn't keep
the lady waiting.
257
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:26,680
The lady?
258
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:29,558
She's from Finland, Mr. Fawlty,
and very pretty. Tall, blonde...
259
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:37,640
This Finnish floozy
is your karate teacher, is she?
260
00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:39,440
Well, it's a sort
of karate, ain't it?
261
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:40,800
- Right, give me that.
- What?
262
00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:42,560
I pay you overtime
to miss a class,
263
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,320
not to keep some bit
of crumpet hanging around.
264
00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,920
No, it's all right! I'm washing up,
I'll do the cooking, too.
265
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,960
Go off and enjoy yourself.
Don't worry about me.
266
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,800
Go have a good time.
I'll be all right.
267
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:53,234
Go and have a bit of fun
with a Finn!
268
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,272
Come along, Manuel!
269
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,800
Where are you?
Polly? Where...
270
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:02,791
Hey, wait for me!
271
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:14,640
If you'd care
to sit over there.
272
00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:16,200
Thank you.
273
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:17,640
Good evening.
274
00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:19,200
- Evening.
- Good evening.
275
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:20,960
Is your room
to your liking?
276
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,000
- Yes, it's very nice.
- Very nice, thank you.
277
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,000
Oh, good.
278
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,480
I'll get you
tonight's menu.
279
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:29,000
Oh, would you care for a drink
before your meal?
280
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,797
Scotch and water
and a screwdriver, please.
281
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,756
And for you, madam?
282
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:38,560
The screwdriver's for me.
283
00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:39,960
I see.
284
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,800
Would you like it now,
or after the meal?
285
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,120
Now, please.
286
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,360
There's nothing
I can put right?
287
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:46,880
- What?
- Absolutely.
288
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:48,360
So it's one scotch,
and a screwdriver.
289
00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:51,193
I think I'll join you.
Make that two screwdrivers, would you?
290
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:53,760
You'd like a screwdriver,
as well?
291
00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:55,200
You got it.
292
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,200
So, it's one scotch,
and you each need a screwdriver.
293
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,800
No. Forget the scotch.
Two screwdrivers.
294
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,800
I understand,
and you'll leave the drinks.
295
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:04,800
- What?
- Nothing to drink?
296
00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:06,160
What do you mean,
"Nothing to drink"?
297
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,760
Well, you can't drink
your screwdrivers, can you?
298
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:10,920
What else would you suggest
that we do with them?
299
00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:13,800
- Vodka and orange juice.
- Ah. Certainly, madam.
300
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,800
Make that two and forget
about the screwdrivers.
301
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:16,800
You sure?
302
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,200
We can manage
without them.
303
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,189
As you wish.
304
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:24,200
"Relax in the carefree atmosphere
of old English charm..."
305
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,680
- Shh!
- "When you're there..."
306
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:26,795
Shh!
307
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,480
Hope we're not intruding
on your dinner hour.
308
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,675
Oh, not at all, no.
309
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,280
You're American.
310
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:36,800
That's right.
311
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,120
Where are you from?
312
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:39,200
California.
313
00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:40,480
How lovely.
314
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:41,800
You're English, though.
315
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,920
Yes, but I've been over there
10 years now.
316
00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,360
10 years.
Do you ever get homesick?
317
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,640
Oh, yes, but
I love it there.
318
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,073
The climate's
so wonderful.
319
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:53,120
You can swim and sunbathe,
and then after lunch,
320
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:54,800
drive up into the mountains
and ski.
321
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,760
How wonderful.
322
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:58,320
I like England
and the English people,
323
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,800
but I sure couldn't
take this climate.
324
00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:02,800
Harry finds it
too gloomy.
325
00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,120
Oh, I don't find it too gloomy.
Do you, Sybil?
326
00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,280
Yes, I do, Basil.
327
00:13:06,280 --> 00:13:08,800
My wife finds it too gloomy.
I find it rather bracing.
328
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,120
What do you find bracing, Basil,
329
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,680
the damp,
the drizzle, the fog?
330
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,400
It's not always like this.
It changes.
331
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,480
My husband's like the climate.
He changes.
332
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:16,800
This morning he went on
for two hours
333
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,600
about the bloody weather.
334
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,240
Yes, it has been unusually damp
this week, in fact,
335
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,320
but normally we're
rather spoiled down here
336
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:25,680
on the English Riviera.
337
00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:28,160
Mr. And Mrs. Hamilton were
telling me about California.
338
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,600
You can swim in the morning,
and then in the afternoon,
339
00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:32,680
you can drive up
into the mountains and ski.
340
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:34,796
Must be rather tiring.
341
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,720
Well, one
has a choice.
342
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,960
I don't think it would suit me.
I like it down here.
343
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,800
It's very mild all year round.
We have palm trees here in Torquay.
344
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,800
Do you have palm trees
in California?
345
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,519
Burt Lancaster had one, they say.
But I don't believe them.
346
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,794
What the hell is that?
347
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:54,800
Vodka and orange juice.
348
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:55,840
Orange juice?
349
00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:57,400
I'm afraid
it's not fresh.
350
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,000
- Isn't it?
- No.
351
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,360
We've just opened
the bottle.
352
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,840
Fresh means it comes out
of an orange, not a bottle.
353
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,800
You'd like freshly squeezed
orange juice.
354
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,000
As opposed to freshly
unscrewed orange juice.
355
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,151
Leave it to me.
I'll get chef onto it straightaway.
356
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:11,960
Sorry about that.
A lot of English people
357
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,800
are used to the flavor
of the bottle.
358
00:14:13,800 --> 00:14:15,800
It's all right.
It's just that back home,
359
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,800
fresh orange juice comes
like running water.
360
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,800
Does it really?
361
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,440
It's so good for your skin,
isn't it?
362
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,800
I'd love to go
to California someday.
363
00:14:24,800 --> 00:14:26,640
Looks so exciting.
364
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:29,120
"Never Love a Stranger."
Do you like it?
365
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:32,200
I love all Harold Robbins.
I've read this one three times.
366
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:34,440
"The Pirates"
is his best, I think.
367
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,000
I read them
when Harry's away.
368
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,880
I don't seem to have the time
when he's home.
369
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:41,316
Who needs Harold Robbins
when you got the real thing?
370
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,880
How long have you
been married, Mrs. Fawlty?
371
00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:47,520
Oh, since 1485.
372
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,560
There we are.
Fresh orange juice.
373
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,720
Thank you.
374
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:54,760
But seriously, though,
his men are all so interesting.
375
00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,800
Ruthless and sexy
and powerful.
376
00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,280
Who's this then, dear?
Proust? E.M. Forster?
377
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,560
- Harold Robbins.
- Oh, yes, of course.
378
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,280
My wife likes
Harold Robbins.
379
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,800
After a hard day
slaving under the hair dryer,
380
00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,109
she needs to unwind
with a few aimless thrills.
381
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:11,680
Basil!
382
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,800
Have you ever read any?
383
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,960
It really is
the most awful American...
384
00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,800
well, not American...
Transatlantic tripe.
385
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:20,800
A sort of pornographic muzak.
386
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,000
Still, it keeps my wife
off the streets.
387
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,877
We both like him.
388
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:29,000
Oh, oh, R-Rob-bins?!
389
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,120
- What?
- Harold Rob-bins?!
390
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:32,800
I thought you meant
that awful man...
391
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,800
what's his name?
Ah... Harold Robinson!
392
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:38,640
Have you read any Harold Robinson?
Ah! Painful!
393
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,080
How about Waldorf salad?
394
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,040
Was that one?
You're absolutely right.
395
00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:43,800
That was a shocker!
396
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:46,792
Could you make me
a Waldorf salad?
397
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,800
Waldorf salad.
398
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,155
I think we're
just out of Waldorfs.
399
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:59,080
- I don't believe this.
- It's not very well known here, Harry.
400
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:00,920
May I recommend tonight...
401
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:04,720
I'm sure your chef knows
how to fix me a Waldorf salad.
402
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:05,840
I wouldn't be too sure...
403
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,200
- He's a chef, isn't he?
- You wouldn't prefer...
404
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,240
Find out! Go see if he knows
how to fix me a Waldorf salad!
405
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:13,151
Of course, yes.
406
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:20,280
He's not positive... he's almost got it.
It's lettuce and tomato...
407
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,200
No, no! It's celery,
apples, walnuts, grapes!
408
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,720
In a mayonnaise sauce.
409
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:26,320
Incidentally,
he did ask me to say
410
00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:29,280
that he does especially recommend
the pat� tonight.
411
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,520
- I don't want pat�.
- Or the grapefruit?
412
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:33,280
The grapefruit?
How's it done?
413
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:36,760
Well, it's halved,
with a cherry in the...
414
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:37,760
center.
415
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,920
Look! I haven't
paid you �20
416
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:41,800
to have some guy cut
a grapefruit in half
417
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:42,800
and stick a cherry
in the center!
418
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:43,800
Exactly.
419
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:44,800
I want
a Waldorf salad!
420
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,360
Absolutely.
One Waldorf salad.
421
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:48,800
- And a green salad for me.
- And one green salad.
422
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,800
And if we can't manage
the Waldorf salad?
423
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:54,160
I want a Waldorf salad!
And to follow, a couple of filet mignons!
424
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:55,160
Steaks!
425
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:57,720
Steaks! Done rare!
Not out of a bottle!
426
00:16:57,720 --> 00:16:58,800
Not out of a bottle,
right.
427
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:01,800
Would you care
to see the wine list?
428
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:02,920
Thank you.
429
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,640
May I ask, did you say
you paid �20?
430
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,960
Yes. But it's,
uh... not the money.
431
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,720
My wife and I,
we wanted dinner and...
432
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,600
This can't be right.
There's no reason chef couldn't stay.
433
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:15,440
I'm awfully sorry.
He's forgotten already.
434
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,160
Uh, walnuts, cheese?
435
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,440
No!
No cheese!
436
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:22,280
It's celery, apples,
walnuts, grapes!
437
00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:23,480
- Right!
- In mayonnaise!
438
00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:24,993
Right!
Now, come on!
439
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,200
Uh...
440
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,800
would you excuse me
one moment?
441
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:34,400
Uh, excuse me.
Bottle of Volnay, please.
442
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:36,789
Of course.
Thank you.
443
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:40,960
What's this
about �20, Basil?
444
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:42,800
There's no celery!
Would you believe it?
445
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,800
I'll find the celery.
What about this �20?
446
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:46,440
He gave me �20 to keep
the kitchen open.
447
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,800
Chef wouldn't tell me...
where does he put things?
448
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:50,280
- If you'd just look.
- I have looked!
449
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:51,800
There's no celery,
there's no grapes.
450
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,160
Walnuts! That's a laugh!
Easier to find a packet
451
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,080
of sliced hippopotamus
in suitcase sauce
452
00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:57,840
than a walnut
in this bloody kitchen!
453
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,680
- We've got apples.
- Terrific! We'll celebrate.
454
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,640
We'll have an apple party.
Everybody brings an apple
455
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,440
and stuffs it down
somebody's throat!
456
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:08,920
Basil, I will find everything.
Just go and get a bottle of Volnay.
457
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:11,800
What's a Waldorf, anyway?
A walnut that's gone off?
458
00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:13,720
It's the hotel, Basil.
459
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,760
The Waldorf Hotel
in New York.
460
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:17,640
Wait!
461
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:18,640
Wait.
462
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:19,595
Basil!
463
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,040
Everything all right?
464
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:24,360
Yes, thank you.
465
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:25,360
Never been better.
466
00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:27,600
Oh, good.
And by the way, I wonder,
467
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,720
have you by any chance
ever tried a Ritz salad?
468
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:31,880
Ritz salad?
469
00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,040
It's a traditional
Olde English thing.
470
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:35,800
It's apples, grapefruit,
471
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,400
and potatoes
in a mayonnaise sauce.
472
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:39,440
No, I don't think
I ever tried that.
473
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:41,880
Don't think
I ever will, either.
474
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:42,880
That's probably
pretty sound.
475
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:45,640
About this Waldorf salad
of yours...
476
00:18:45,640 --> 00:18:46,640
Yes?
477
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,800
Been having a bit of
a tete-a-tete with chef.
478
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:50,800
We're all right on the apples,
479
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,560
absolutely no problem
with them at all.
480
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,800
Now, on the celery front,
uh... perhaps I should explain,
481
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,120
we normally get our celery
delivered on a Wednesday,
482
00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:01,280
along with our cabbages,
onions, walnuts, grapes...
483
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,880
- But this week, the driver...
- Mr. Fawlty...
484
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,680
- He was putting...
- I'm not interested.
485
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,800
He slipped forward, and the van door
caught his arm and may have fractured it.
486
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:11,960
- You don't have any.
- They did the x-rays,
487
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,520
and we'll know tomorrow
if they'll have to operate,
488
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,280
and to cut a long story short,
we don't have any, no.
489
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:18,280
But, um...
490
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,800
so, makes you think
how lucky you are!
491
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,680
Doesn't it?
I mean, here we all are,
492
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:24,800
with all our limbs functioning.
Quite frankly,
493
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:27,600
if you've got your health,
what else matters?
494
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,397
What a bunch of crap!
495
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,800
Oh, do you think so?
I always feel...
496
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,120
What the hell's
going on here?!
497
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:36,920
It says "Hotel" outside!
Now, is this a hotel or isn't it?
498
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:38,200
Well, within reason.
499
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:39,760
You know something, fella?
500
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,200
If this was back in the States,
I wouldn't board my dog here.
501
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:43,838
Fussy is he?
Poodle?
502
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:46,800
Poodle?
503
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,791
I'm not getting through
to you, am I?
504
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,720
I stay in hotels
all over the world.
505
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,800
This is the first time I've had to bribe
a chef to cook me a meal,
506
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,920
then find out he doesn't even have
the basic goddamn ingredients!
507
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,800
Holy cow, can't you see
what a crummy dump this is?
508
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,880
- You listening to this, are you...
- I'm talking to you!
509
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,760
- Terry, you can get out...
- Shut up and listen to me!
510
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:09,880
- Can't you see this ain't good enough?
- I see what you mean.
511
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:13,000
Then you give me some half-assed story
about some delivery guy busting his arm.
512
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:16,280
Look, Fawlty, if your chef
couldn't find the ingredients from that guy,
513
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,600
why didn't he get them
from somebody else?
514
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,960
- Exactly. Hopeless.
- What?
515
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,160
- Completely hopeless.
- Right.
516
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,080
You're the manager, aren't you?
You're responsible.
517
00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:26,800
So what are you
going to do about it?
518
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,240
I'll have a word
with him.
519
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:29,680
Have a word
with him?
520
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,200
Man, you gotta tell him,
lay it on the line!
521
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,240
Lay it on the line.
522
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:36,760
Tell him if he doesn't get on the ball,
you're gonna bust his ass!
523
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,200
- Bust his?
- I'll tell him!
524
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,880
No, I'll tell him!
Leave it to me!
525
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:41,472
I've got it. I've got it.
526
00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:45,800
- Bust his?
- Ass!
527
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,791
Oh, that!
528
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:50,995
And two green salads.
529
00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:57,800
Here we are.
530
00:20:57,800 --> 00:20:59,680
One green salad,
531
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:01,840
and one Waldorf salad.
532
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:04,200
But I thought, uh...
533
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,440
Yes?
534
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:06,840
Would you excuse me
one moment?
535
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,680
It's not good enough!
536
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,120
Do you hear me?
It's not good enough!
537
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:12,040
But Mr. Robinson
hurt his arm!
538
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,600
That's a bunch of ass!
539
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:15,800
It's fine.
540
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:16,840
Why can't you make
a Waldorf salad?
541
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:18,920
- Waldorf salad?
- Yeah.
542
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:22,120
Tomorrow you get the ingredients
for a Waldorf salad,
543
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:23,760
or I'm going to break your bottom!
544
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,800
Oh, no! You can't!
545
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,600
No, I mean it!
546
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:28,040
- Everything all right?
- Yes, thank you.
547
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,520
- Everything all right?
- Yes, thank you.
548
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,120
You're sure
there's nothing?
549
00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:33,120
No, it's very good.
550
00:21:33,120 --> 00:21:34,760
Oh, good.
551
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,800
Oh, um...
552
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:38,360
- your chef.
- Yes?
553
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:39,560
Has he been
with you long?
554
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,880
About six months.
He used to work at Dorchester.
555
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,360
At the Dorchester?
556
00:21:43,360 --> 00:21:46,360
No. In Dorchester,
about 14 miles away.
557
00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:48,800
Here we are.
Two green salads.
558
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,600
Basil.
559
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:51,640
Yes, dear?
560
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,800
Mr. Hamilton has
his Waldorf salad, dear.
561
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,240
No, chef couldn't make it.
He didn't have the ingredients.
562
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,800
I just smashed
his backside about it.
563
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,795
But there it is.
564
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,360
What?
565
00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:08,360
There's the Waldorf salad.
Chef found the ingredients.
566
00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:09,800
It's fine.
567
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:13,560
Well, if he found the ingredients,
why didn't he tell me?
568
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:15,400
Has he been
struck dumb?
569
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,160
Has somebody torn his tongue out
in the last two minutes?
570
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,355
Maybe Robinson's arm
got better.
571
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,040
I'm sorry about this.
572
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,120
It's all right.
573
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:25,800
- No, it isn't.
- It doesn't matter.
574
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,960
- It matters to me.
- I got my Waldorf salad.
575
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:29,760
- Excuse me.
- For God's sake!
576
00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:31,960
- Chef, what's this?
- Bring that back immediately!
577
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:35,240
I'm so sorry.
I'll get it back for you.
578
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,040
Sorry?
I'll give you sorry!
579
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,480
- Get off your knees!
- Basil!
580
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:40,880
I haven't finished
with chef yet, Sybil.
581
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:43,120
Why didn't you tell me
you had found them,
582
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:45,120
you stupid cow?!
583
00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:48,640
Eh, chef? I haven't finished!
You can have it in a...
584
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:49,914
Oof!
585
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:54,840
Sorry about
that little confusion.
586
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,840
Chef hasn't been
with us very long.
587
00:22:56,840 --> 00:22:59,308
We've just reorganized
the kitchen.
588
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:01,800
Thank you.
589
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:03,640
Oh, you haven't got
your wine yet.
590
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:04,800
Basil!
591
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:06,950
Won't be a moment!
Basil!
592
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,280
Yes, my sweet?
593
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,960
Mr. And Mrs. Hamilton
haven't got their wine.
594
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,440
- Fine.
- And, Basil?
595
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:17,200
Has chef put
the steaks on yet?
596
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:18,349
I'll tell him.
597
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:22,320
Is your husband
all right?
598
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:25,200
Oh, yes. He's just had
rather a long day.
599
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:26,760
There's just the two
of you here, right?
600
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:29,360
We haven't had a proper
holiday for eight years.
601
00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:30,640
Eight years?
602
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:34,640
Yes. I have to get away occasionally
just for a few hours.
603
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,640
Even if it's just down
to the hairdresser,
604
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:37,880
or a round of golf,
605
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,840
or a bridge evening
with some of the girls,
606
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,080
drive in the country
sometimes,
607
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:44,600
just on my own.
608
00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:46,800
Pop down to Cornwall
for the day sometimes.
609
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,028
It's beautiful there.
610
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,240
Your Volnay, sir.
611
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:54,000
You must visit Cornwall
while you're here.
612
00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,440
Incidentally,
I've been talking to chef,
613
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:57,800
and we've sorted out
what happened.
614
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,800
Um, apparently
he thought that he'd, uh...
615
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:01,800
That's very nice.
Thank you.
616
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,840
...got two orders
for Waldorf salad,
617
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:05,800
and in fact,
he had the ingredients,
618
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:07,800
until he made one,
619
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:11,120
he realized that he didn't
have enough for the second.
620
00:24:11,120 --> 00:24:12,520
Don't let it bother you.
621
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,351
This will explain
everything.
622
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:17,640
- What's that?
- A letter.
623
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,520
- A letter?
- A letter from the chef.
624
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:20,800
It explains everything.
625
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:23,800
- A letter from the chef?
- He wanted to apologize personally,
626
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:25,840
but I didn't want him
wasting your time...
627
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,200
Look, just forget about it,
will you?
628
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,080
- I'll read it for you.
- I want my steak!
629
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:32,000
Won't be a moment.
"Dear Mr. And Mrs. Hamilton,
630
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,400
I hope you are well.
631
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,800
This is just a brief note to say
that I take full responsibility
632
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:38,120
for the dreadful
mess-ups tonight.
633
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:39,800
If I'd only listened
to Mr. Fawlty,
634
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:42,560
none of this fiasco
would have occurred.
635
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:45,000
I'd just like to tell you
that such a cock-up
636
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,720
has never occurred
in my career before,
637
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,800
and that now everything
has been sorted out,
638
00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:50,680
I'll be back
to my very best form.
639
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:51,999
Signed, Terr..."
640
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,800
What are you doing?!
641
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:04,000
What do you mean,
you've burned it?
642
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,000
I've had just about
enough of this.
643
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,160
Harry...
644
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:08,880
How could you
forget about it?
645
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:10,680
I was making another Waldorf...
646
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,800
Making another Waldorf salad?!
647
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,960
What are you making
another Waldorf salad for?!
648
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,320
Careful, I'm only a little bloke!
649
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:21,596
What do you think
Mr. And Mrs. Hamilton must think...
650
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,599
Mr. Hamilton,
may I introduce Terry...
651
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:35,800
Where did he go?
652
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:37,760
Where's he gone?
Did you see him?
653
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:39,751
Maybe he went
to get something to eat.
654
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:43,280
- Come on, honey.
- What is it, Harry?
655
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:44,760
- We're leaving.
- What's happened?
656
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:46,796
I'll tell you later.
657
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:49,880
Yes, your steak will
be ready in a moment.
658
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:51,760
He must have heard
you coming,
659
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,800
panicked, and run out
into the yard.
660
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:57,040
You know, after all
the problems we've...
661
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:58,712
Humph!
662
00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:05,760
How big a butterball
do you take me for?!
663
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:06,760
Butterb?
664
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,160
You think I don't know
what's been going on out there?!
665
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:10,240
Oh, bit of a debacle,
I'm afraid.
666
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:12,080
I'm talking about you
taking �20 off me
667
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:13,800
to keep the chef on,
letting him go,
668
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,920
cooking the meal yourself,
then pretending he's still out there!
669
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:17,960
- Oh, that.
- Yes, that!
670
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:20,320
And I'd be interested to know
what you've got to say about it.
671
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,120
- Good evening.
- I asked you a question.
672
00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:25,800
I'm sorry that your meal
has not been satisfactory this evening.
673
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,800
Huh!
What I am suggesting
674
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:31,120
is that this place
is the crummiest, shoddiest,
675
00:26:31,120 --> 00:26:34,120
worst-run hotel
in the whole of Western Europe!
676
00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:37,317
No!
No! I won't have that!
677
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:40,360
There's a place
in Eastbourne...
678
00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:42,120
What's its name?
679
00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:46,120
And that you are the British Tourist Board's
answer to Donald Duck!
680
00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:48,800
Look, I know things have
gone wrong this evening,
681
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:51,680
but you must remember that we have had
thousands of satisfied customers...
682
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:53,440
All right,
let's ask them, eh?
683
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,440
- What?
- Let's ask them.
684
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:58,160
Are you all satisfied?
You... are you satisfied?
685
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:01,640
Major, are you satisfied?
You've been here seven years.
686
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:02,960
Oh, yes.
I love it here...
687
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:06,000
- Ladies, are you satisfied?
- Yes, thank you, Mr. Fawlty.
688
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,000
- Thank you for asking.
- Not at all.
689
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:09,920
- Mr. Arrad, are you satisfied?
- Well, yes.
690
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:12,080
- Mrs. Gurke, you?
- Very nice, yes.
691
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:14,080
You see?
Satisfied customers.
692
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,080
Of course, if this little hotel
is not to your taste,
693
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:17,798
then you are free to say so,
that is your privilege.
694
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:19,800
And I shall of course
refund your money.
695
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:21,800
I know how important
it is to you Americans.
696
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:23,800
But you must remember
that here in Britain,
697
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,360
there are things
that we value more,
698
00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:27,920
things that perhaps in America
you've rather forgotten about,
699
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:31,400
but which to we British
are far, far more important...
700
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:32,800
I'm not satisfied.
701
00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:34,560
Wh-what?
702
00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:35,800
I'm not satisfied!
703
00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:37,800
No, we're not satisfied!
704
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,680
Well, people like you
never are, are you?
705
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,040
What?
706
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,640
There's nothing I could do
to please a pair like you
707
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:45,200
short of putting straw
in the rooms.
708
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,200
I think you're the rudest man
I've ever met!
709
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:48,640
I haven't started yet.
710
00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:50,800
And you're not going to.
711
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:52,760
You're going to stand here
nice and quiet
712
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:54,800
while these people say
whether or not they're satisfied.
713
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,109
You move off that spot, Fawlty,
and I'm going to bust your ass!
714
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:01,600
Everything's bottoms,
isn't it?
715
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:02,760
Yes, sir?
716
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:06,000
I think this is probably the worst hotel
we've ever stayed in.
717
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:08,120
Yes, it is. The service here
is an absolute disgrace!
718
00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:09,720
- I agree.
- You do?
719
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:11,840
Yes. We had to wait
nearly half an hour
720
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:13,160
for our main course,
721
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,120
and when it arrived,
it was wrong.
722
00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:17,920
When I complained, he fobbed me off
with some rubbish about...
723
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:18,960
My prawns were off.
724
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:20,800
When I told him,
there was an argument.
725
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:23,200
And her meat
was awfully poor.
726
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,800
And I asked you to fix
my radiator three times,
727
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:27,200
and nothing's been done!
728
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:29,600
Satisfied customers, huh?
729
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:33,115
Hot dog.
730
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:40,840
This is...
731
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:42,671
typical.
732
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:47,511
Absolutely typical.
733
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:50,280
The kind of...
734
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:52,120
ass...
735
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,640
I've had to put up with
from you people!
736
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:59,080
You ponce in here expecting to be
hand-waited on hand and foot!
737
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:00,800
I'm trying to run
a hotel here!
738
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:03,720
Have you any idea
of how much there is to do?
739
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:04,800
Do you ever
think of that?
740
00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:06,800
Of course not!
You're too busy
741
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:08,960
sticking your noses
into every corner,
742
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,880
poking about for things
to complain about, aren't you?
743
00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:13,880
Well, let me tell
you something!
744
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:17,680
This is exactly
how Nazi Germany started!
745
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,840
A lot of layabouts
with nothing better to do
746
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:22,800
than to cause trouble!
747
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:26,040
I've had 15 years
of pandering to the likes of you,
748
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:28,240
and I've had enough!
I've had it!
749
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:30,840
Come on, pack your bags
and get out!
750
00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:31,920
They're packed.
751
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:33,800
Order 10 taxis, will you?
I'll pay for 'em.
752
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:35,000
- Come on!
- What?!
753
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,800
Out! Everybody out!
Come on, upstairs!
754
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:39,840
Pack your bags!
Adios! Out!
755
00:29:39,840 --> 00:29:40,960
But it's raining!
756
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:42,760
You should have thought
of that before.
757
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:44,800
Too late now!
Come on, out!
758
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,600
Raus, raus, raus!
759
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:48,600
Basil!
760
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,120
What are you doing?
761
00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:52,800
Well, let me explain,
my little work horse.
762
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,800
The guests and I have been having
a bit of an old chin wag.
763
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:57,791
And the upshot of it all is,
they're off.
764
00:29:58,840 --> 00:29:59,840
Off?
765
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:02,479
Let me put it this way:
Either they go, or I go.
766
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:05,520
Right! Right!
Come on back, everybody!
767
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:08,240
My wife's had a better idea.
I'm going instead!
768
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:11,040
Well, goodbye, dear.
It's been an interesting 15 years,
769
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:12,800
but all good things
must come to an end.
770
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:15,800
I hope you enjoy your new work here,
helping to run a hotel.
771
00:30:15,800 --> 00:30:17,560
Goodbye, Major.
Goodbye, ladies.
772
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:19,840
Give my regards to Polly
and Manuel. Bye, dear.
773
00:30:19,840 --> 00:30:21,520
You've forgotten
your keys, Basil.
774
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:23,800
So I have, dear.
Goodbye to the rest of you.
775
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:25,760
I hope you enjoy
your stay here.
776
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:27,880
Don't forget: Any complaints,
don't hesitate to tell my wife.
777
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:30,400
Any hour of the day or night,
just shout.
778
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:32,277
Bye!
779
00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:53,509
10 minutes?
That'll be fine.
780
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:01,120
Hello, dear,
I'm back.
781
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,360
What do you want,
Basil?
782
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,320
A room, please.
Number 12 is free, I think.
783
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:08,960
Now, I'd like breakfast in bed
at half past 10:00 in the morning.
784
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:10,800
That's eggs, bacon,
sausage, and tomato
785
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:12,880
with a Waldorf salad.
All washed down
786
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:15,474
with lashings
of hot screwdriver...
0
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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