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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:29,913 - Number 17, please. - That'll be fine, thank you. 2 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:32,360 Goodbye. Thank you so much. 3 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,560 Hello, Fawlty Towers. 4 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,440 Oh, hello, Mr. Hawkins. 5 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:38,880 - I've arranged your car for 2:00. - Thank you. 6 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:41,000 Well, you did say today, Mr. Hawkins. 7 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,600 - You do accept checks? - With a banker's card, yes. 8 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,720 Well, we have to cancel the order then. 9 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:49,120 Yes. No, no, 5:00 will be fine. 10 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:50,880 Goodbye. 11 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:52,960 Polly, Brenda can't start till Monday. 12 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,880 Would you mind doing the rooms until then? 13 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,480 - Oh, no. I could do with the money. - Oh, good. 14 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,440 There you are. 15 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:00,640 Thank you, Mr. Yardley. 16 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:02,680 Oh, hello. Can I help you? 17 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:03,840 - Yes... - Girl, 18 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:05,360 would you give me change for this, please? 19 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,280 In one moment. I'm just dealing with this gentleman. 20 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:08,960 - Yes, Mr. Thurston... - What? 21 00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:11,080 - I was wondering... - I need change for this! 22 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:13,360 In a moment. I'm dealing with this gentleman. 23 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,200 But I have a taxi driver waiting. 24 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,520 Surely this gentleman wouldn't mind if you just gave me change. 25 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,875 - Do you? - No, no. Go ahead. 26 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:22,640 - There you are. - Thank you. 27 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,520 Can you tell me how to get to Glendower Street? 28 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,520 Now, I've booked a room and bath 29 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,160 with a sea view for three nights. 30 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,880 - Glendower Street? - Yes. 31 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:32,960 You haven't finished with me. 32 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,080 Missus? 33 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,240 Mrs. Richards. Mrs. Alice Richards. 34 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:37,960 Mrs. Richards, Mr. Thurston. 35 00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,200 Mr. Thurston, Mrs. Richards. 36 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,000 Mr. Thurston is the gentleman I'm attending to at the moment. 37 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,000 What? 38 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,240 Mr. Thurston is the gentleman I'm attending... 39 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:47,160 Don't shout. I'm not deaf. 40 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,720 Mr. Thurston was here before you, Mrs. Richards. 41 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,000 But you were serving me! 42 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,680 I gave you change, but I hadn't finished dealing with him. 43 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:54,880 Now, Glendower Street... 44 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,640 Isn't there anyone else in attendance? 45 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,480 Really, this is the most appalling service! 46 00:01:58,480 --> 00:01:59,720 What a good idea! 47 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,680 Manuel, could you lend Mrs. Richards 48 00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,558 your assistance in connection with her reservation? 49 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,680 Now... 50 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:10,520 I've reserved a very quiet room 51 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,520 with a bath and a sea view. 52 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,880 I specifically asked for a sea view in my written confirmation, 53 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,120 so please make sure I have it. 54 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:19,109 Qu�? 55 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:23,480 - What? - Qu�? 56 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:24,880 - K? - S�. 57 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:26,280 C? 58 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,960 "KC"? 59 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:29,880 "KC"? What are you trying to say? 60 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:30,880 No, no, no, no. 61 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:32,840 - Qu�: What. - K-watt? 62 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,240 S�. Qu�... what. 63 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,549 - C.K. Watt? - Yes! 64 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:38,840 Who is C.K. Watt? 65 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:39,840 Qu�? 66 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,400 Is he the manager, Mr. Watt? 67 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,080 - Manaher! - He is? 68 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,120 Ah, Mr. Fawlty! 69 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,480 - What? - Fawlty! 70 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,880 What are you talking about, you silly little man? 71 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:49,520 What is going on here? 72 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:51,880 I ask him for my room, and he tells me 73 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,760 the manager's a Mr. Watt, aged 40. 74 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:54,880 No. No, no. 75 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:56,080 Faw-lty. 76 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:57,520 "Faulty"? 77 00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:59,440 What's wrong with him? 78 00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:00,880 It's all right, Mrs. Richards. 79 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,360 He's from Barcelona. 80 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,320 The manager's from Barcelona? 81 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,400 No, no, no. He's from Swanage. 82 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,880 - And you're in 22. - What? 83 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:10,480 You're in room 22. 84 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:13,313 Manuel, take these cases up to 22, will you? 85 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,680 Very nice stay, Mr. Fawlty. 86 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:18,800 Ah, glad you enjoyed it. 87 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,880 Polly, would you get Mr. Firkin's bill, please? 88 00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,280 When will we see you again? 89 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,600 Oh, not for a few weeks. 90 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,320 You're not by any chance a betting man, Mr. Fawlty? 91 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,880 Er... well, I used to be. 92 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,320 Only there's a very nice little filly running at Exeter this afternoon. 93 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:34,280 - Really? - Dragonfly. 94 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,280 Ah. 95 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:36,880 - Dragonfly? - Yeah. 96 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,680 It's well worth a flutter, but pay the tax on it before... 97 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,520 Oh, delighted you enjoyed your stay. 98 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:42,560 Very nice. 99 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,160 Hope to see you again before long. 100 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:45,880 - There you are. - Thank you. 101 00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:47,200 Goodbye, Mrs. Fawlty. 102 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,880 Goodbye, Mr. Firkin. 103 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,360 A satisfied customer. 104 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,157 We should have him stuffed. 105 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,760 Oh, Mr. Fawlty, 106 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,920 3:00, Exeter, Dragonfly. 107 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,680 Right? 108 00:03:58,680 --> 00:03:59,800 Yes, good luck! 109 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,791 Jolly... jolly good luck with it. 110 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:04,880 Morning, Major. 111 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,871 Good morning, Fawlty. 112 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:10,520 Yes, dear? 113 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,960 What was that about the 3:00 at Exeter, Basil? 114 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,440 Oh, some horse he's gonna bet on, I expect. 115 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,120 You're looking very spruce this morning, Major. 116 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,520 - St. George's Day, old boy. - Really? 117 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,431 Got a horse, have you? What's his name? 118 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,400 Did you catch it, dear? 119 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:25,880 Dragonfly, Major. 120 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,760 - Going to have a flutter, Fawlty? - No, no, no, no, no. 121 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,880 No, Basil doesn't bet anymore, Major. Do you, dear? 122 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,080 No, I don't, dear, no. 123 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:34,880 That particular avenue of pleasure 124 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,553 has been closed off for me. 125 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,720 And we don't want it opened up again, do we, Basil? 126 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:45,640 No, you don't, dear. No. 127 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,080 The great warning-off of May 8th, yes. 128 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,920 Good old Saint George, eh, Major? 129 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:53,880 Well, he killed a hideous fire-breathing old dragon, didn't he? 130 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:56,320 Ran it through with a lance, I believe. 131 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:57,840 Mr. Fawlty! Mr. Fawlty! 132 00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,796 Is Missus... room no like. 133 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:01,520 She want speak to you. Is problem. 134 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,954 Ever see my wife making toast, Polly? 135 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,360 Why... why'd he kill it anyway, Fawlty? 136 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,120 I don't know, Major. Better than marrying it. 137 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:11,240 Marrying it? 138 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:13,560 But he didn't have to kill it, though, did he? 139 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:14,880 I mean, he could've, uh, 140 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,871 just not turned up at the church. 141 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,160 Good morning, Madam. Can I help you? 142 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:28,080 - Are you the manager? - I am the owner, Madam. 143 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:30,560 - What? - I am the owner. 144 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:31,960 I want to speak to the manager. 145 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,520 - I am the manager, too. - What? 146 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:35,920 I am the manager as well. 147 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,360 Manaher. He manaher. 148 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:40,430 Oh, you're Watt. 149 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:43,040 I'm the manager! 150 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,760 - What? - I'm the manager! 151 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:47,640 Yes, I know. You've just told me. What's the matter with you? 152 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:48,920 Now, listen to me. 153 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,880 I booked a room with a bath. 154 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,520 When I book a room with a bath, I expect to get a bath. 155 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,600 You've got a bath. 156 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,760 I'm not paying �7.20p per night, 157 00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,240 plus V.A.T., for a room without a bath! 158 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,912 Here is your bath. 159 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,120 You call that a bath? 160 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,880 It's not big enough to drown a mouse. 161 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,400 It's disgraceful! 162 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,120 I wish you were a mouse. I'd show you. 163 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,880 And another thing. 164 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,760 I asked for a room with a view. 165 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:15,720 Deaf, mad, and blind. 166 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:19,880 This is the view as far as I can remember, madam. 167 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,840 Yes, yes, this is it. 168 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,680 When I pay for a view, 169 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,880 I expect something more interesting than that. 170 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,520 That is Torquay, madam. 171 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,560 That is not good enough. 172 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,800 Well, may I ask what you were expecting to see 173 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,680 out of a Torquay hotel bedroom window? 174 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,240 Sydney Opera House, perhaps? 175 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,880 The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? 176 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,360 Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically... 177 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:42,520 Don't be silly. 178 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,440 I expect to be able to see the sea. 179 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:45,880 You can see the sea. 180 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,000 It's over there between the land and the sky. 181 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,800 I need a telescope to see that. 182 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,880 Well, may I suggest that you consider moving 183 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,120 to a hotel closer to the sea? 184 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,880 Or preferably in it? 185 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,080 Right. 186 00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,640 Now, listen to me. 187 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,000 I'm not satisfied, but I've decided to stay here. 188 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,640 However, I shall expect a reduction. 189 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,520 Why, because Krakatoa's not erupting at the moment? 190 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,160 Because the room is cold, 191 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,720 the bath is too small, the view is invisible, 192 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:12,920 and the radio doesn't work. 193 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,800 No, the radio works. You don't. 194 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:16,880 What? 195 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,950 I'll see if I can fix it, you scabby old bat. 196 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:27,600 - I think we got something then. - What? 197 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,160 I think we got something then! 198 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:30,160 What are you doing? 199 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:31,760 Qu�? 200 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,080 Madam, don't think me rude, but may I ask, 201 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,880 do you by any chance have a hearing aid? 202 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:37,880 A what? 203 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:38,880 A hearing aid! 204 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,560 Yes, I do have a hearing aid. 205 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,440 Would you like me to get it mended?! 206 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:44,880 Mended? It's working perfectly all right. 207 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:45,880 No, it isn't! 208 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,640 I haven't got it turned on at the moment. 209 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:49,880 - Why not? - The battery runs down. 210 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:53,240 Now, what sort of a reduction are you going to give me on this room? 211 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,200 - 60% if you turn it on. - What? 212 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:57,880 My wife handles all such matters. 213 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,120 I'm sure she will be delighted to discuss it with you. 214 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:01,640 I shall speak to her after lunch. 215 00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:03,000 You heard that all right, didn't you? 216 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,800 - What? - Thank you so much. 217 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,440 Lunch will be served at half past 12:00. 218 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:07,440 Manuel! Manuel! 219 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,280 Are you going to the betting shop today? 220 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,560 - What? - Oh, don't you start! 221 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,320 You go betting shop today? 222 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:14,560 Oh, s�! Betting shop, s�! 223 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,880 Now, I want you to put this on this little horse, 224 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,280 Dragonfly, but... big secret. 225 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,555 Sybil no know. 226 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:29,120 No, no, it's lovely. It's just a bit buttery with my skin. 227 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,920 I think I need something more... more... 228 00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:36,600 topazy, for my coloring, you know, more tonal. 229 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,800 Have you got... have you got Cosmopolitan there? 230 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,758 Page 42, you see Burt Reynolds? 231 00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:47,360 Well, there's a girl standing behind him looking at James Caan. 232 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,240 That sort of color. 233 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,560 Mm. 234 00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:53,920 Lovely. All right, I'll be in at 11:00. 235 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,480 - Oh, Polly... - Hmm? 236 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:57,880 I've got to check the laundry. 237 00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:59,200 Could you keep an eye on reception for me? 238 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:00,599 Sure. 239 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,280 Polly, Polly, where Mr. Fawlty? 240 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,720 I don't know. What's the matter? 241 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,915 I have money for him. He win on horse, 242 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,920 but big secret, sh! Mrs. Fawlty, sh! 243 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,309 Well, give it to me. I'll give it to him. 244 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,240 Good afternoon, Miss Gatsby. 245 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:32,680 Good afternoon, Miss Tibbs. 246 00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:33,760 Good afternoon. 247 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,560 Good afternoon. 248 00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:37,040 Good afternoon. 249 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:39,360 First they give me a room without a bath, 250 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:40,952 then there's no lavatory paper! 251 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,080 Would you like some of ours? 252 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,280 We keep an extra supply. 253 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:49,200 Yes. Would you like some of ours? 254 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,200 Hello! 255 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,400 Girl, there's no paper in my room. Why don't you check these things? 256 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,200 That's what you're being paid for, isn't it? 257 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,760 - We don't put it in the rooms. - What? 258 00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,040 We keep it in the lounge. 259 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:00,880 In the lounge?! 260 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,880 I'll get you some. 261 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,880 Do you want plain ones, or ones with our address on it? 262 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:07,280 Address on it?! 263 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:08,508 How many sheets? 264 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,080 Well, how many are you going to use? 265 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,040 Manager! 266 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,840 Just enough for one? Tell me. 267 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,160 Manager! Manager! 268 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:18,840 Yes? 269 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,240 Testing... testing... 270 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:22,400 There you are. 271 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,800 I've never met such insolence in my life! 272 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,880 I come down here to get some lavatory paper, 273 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,320 and she starts asking me the most insulting, 274 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,280 personal things I've ever heard in my life! 275 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,000 I thought she wanted writing paper. 276 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,080 - I'm talking to you, Watt! - Watt? 277 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,880 Are you deaf? I said I'm talking to you. 278 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:40,920 I've never met such insolence in my life. 279 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,880 She said people use it in the lounge. 280 00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,720 - Yes, she thought... - Then she starts asking me... 281 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,800 - No, please listen... - appalling questions about... 282 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,880 I can explain. No, you see, she thought you wanted to write. 283 00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,440 Wanted a fight? I'll give her a fight, all right! 284 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:54,520 - No, no, no. Wanted to write! - What? 285 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,440 Wanted to write. On the paper. 286 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,078 Why should I want to write on it? 287 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,640 I'll have some sent up to your room immediately. 288 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:02,880 Manuel! 289 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:06,240 That doesn't work either. What were you saying just now? 290 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,760 - Turn it on. - What? 291 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,880 Turn it... 292 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:12,840 Turn... 293 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:13,840 it... 294 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,159 on. 295 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,868 I can't read that. I need my glasses. 296 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,760 Where are they? 297 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,360 They're on your head, Mrs. Richards. 298 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:24,600 I've lost them. 299 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,840 They're the only pair I've got. I can't read a thing without them. 300 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:28,840 Excuse me! 301 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,280 - Now, I had them this morning... - Mrs. Richards... 302 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,920 When I was buying the vase... I put them on to look at it, 303 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:35,600 and then I had them at tea time... 304 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,880 Mrs. Richards! Your glasses are there! 305 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:41,680 There? Who put them in there? 306 00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:44,000 No, no, no! On your head! 307 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,400 - What? - On your... look, 308 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,118 On... 309 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,880 I'm sorry about that, Mr. Fawlty. 310 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,880 Manuel asked me to give this to you. 311 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,880 Oh! Thank you, Polly, and, Polly... 312 00:11:57,880 --> 00:11:59,400 Not a word to the dragon, eh? 313 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,760 - No. - Right. 314 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:02,280 Oh, Manuel, 315 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,920 get some loo paper, muchos, for 22. 316 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:07,040 Uh, twent... s�. 317 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,120 Are you blind? 318 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,000 There were on my head all the time. Didn't you see? 319 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,080 - Yes. - Didn't God give you eyes? 320 00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:15,200 Yes, but I don't use 'em, 'cause it wears the batteries out. 321 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,078 Send my paper up immediately. 322 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,880 What's all that? 323 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,279 22. 324 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,154 Evening, Terry. 325 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,480 Do you like Cavaliera Rusticana, Terry? 326 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,311 I've never had it, Mr. Fawlty. 327 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,680 You're in a good mood, Mr. Fawlty. 328 00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:42,880 Had a little bit of luck on the gee-gees. 329 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:44,871 Not a word to the "trouble and strife," eh? 330 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:50,360 Oh, de Camptown Ladies sing this song 331 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,480 Doo dah, doo dah 332 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,720 Camptown racetrack five miles long 333 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:56,440 Doo-dah doo-dah day 334 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,360 Goin' to run all night 335 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,160 Goin' to run all day 336 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,080 Gonna bet me money on the bobtail nag... 337 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,120 I did it my way. 338 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:08,720 Can't stand Frank Sinatra. "You make me feel so young." Rubbish. 339 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:10,480 You seem very jolly, Basil. 340 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:11,880 Hmm? 341 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:12,960 You seem very jolly. 342 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:13,960 Jolly? 343 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,440 Yes, jolly. Sort of... happy. 344 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,840 Oh, happy. Yes, I remember that. 345 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,640 Not that I noticed, dear, no. 346 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,880 I'll report it if it happens, though. 347 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,880 Well, you look happy to me, Basil. 348 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:25,880 No, I'm not, dear. 349 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:28,880 All that dancing about, singing and rubbing your hands. 350 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:31,680 Just my way of getting through the day, dear. 351 00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:33,875 The Samaritans were engaged. 352 00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:42,880 I thought maybe you were in love. Hah! 353 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,880 Only with you, light of my life. 354 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,880 Or had a bit of luck or something. 355 00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,720 Did Mr. Hawkins deliver the tonics, Terry? 356 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,472 Yes, he did, Mrs. Fawlty. 357 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,120 Manuel! Manuel! 358 00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,880 Oh, your horse, it win! It win! 359 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:58,920 Shh! Shh! Manuel... 360 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,559 You know nothing. 361 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:05,320 You always say, Mr. Fawlty, but I learn. 362 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,753 - What? - I learn, I learn. 363 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:08,720 - No, no... - I get better! 364 00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:09,880 No, you don't understand. 365 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:10,880 - I do! - No, you don't. 366 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:11,880 L... I do understand that... 367 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,760 Shh! Shh! 368 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:16,880 You know nothing about the horse. 369 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:18,880 I know nothing about the horse. 370 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:20,120 Yes. 371 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,680 Ah. 372 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:22,715 Which horse? 373 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:24,720 What? 374 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,040 Which horse I know nothing? 375 00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,600 My horse, nitwit! 376 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,200 Your horse, Nitwit? 377 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,800 No, no, Dragonfly! 378 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,800 - It won! - Yes, I know! 379 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,320 I know it won, too! I put money on for you. 380 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:36,880 You give me money, I go to betting shop... 381 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:37,960 Yes, I know, I know! 382 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,640 Why you say I know nothing? 383 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,073 Look, look, look... 384 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:44,640 You know the horse? 385 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,240 Uh... Nitwit or Dragonfly? 386 00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,800 Dragonfly! There isn't a horse called... you're the nitwit! 387 00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,880 What is "wit-nit"? 388 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:52,960 It doesn't matt... 389 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,760 I could spend the rest of my life having this conversation! 390 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:59,469 Please, please try to understand before one of us dies! 391 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:01,760 I try. 392 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:05,720 You're going to forget everything you know about Nitwit. 393 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:06,720 No, no, Dragonfly. 394 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,040 Dragonfly! Yes! 395 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:09,553 S�, s�, s�. 396 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,878 Eventually. 397 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:16,800 What? 398 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,400 Eventually. 399 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:20,880 Uh, at the end. 400 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,040 No, no, no, forget it now! 401 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,120 Now? 402 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:25,880 Well, pretend you forget! 403 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:26,880 Pretend? 404 00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:30,880 Well, don't say anything to anyone about the horse! 405 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:33,880 I know that. You tell me that this morning! 406 00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,280 - Basil? - So don't do it again! 407 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:37,280 Yes, dear? 408 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:38,840 It's Mrs. Richards. 409 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:39,875 A fatal accident? 410 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,320 She's had some money stolen. 411 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:44,840 Oh, Mr. Fawlty, 412 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:45,880 I tell Polly. 413 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:49,320 That's all right, but don't tell anyone else, not even me! You know nothing! 414 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:50,320 - Basil? - Yes, dear? 415 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:53,160 You've got to help me handle this. She's in a frightful state. 416 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,880 I can't get a word in edgewise. She's had �85 taken from her room. 417 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,880 I said we'll search everyone, but she insists we send for the police. 418 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,640 What do we do with someone like that? She just keeps on! 419 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:00,680 Mrs. Richards, how very nice to see you! 420 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,440 Mrs. Richards, how very nice to see you! 421 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:04,880 Are you enjoying your stay? 422 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,880 There's no need to shout. I have my hearing aid on. 423 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:10,280 Mrs. Richards, I've explained to my husband... 424 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,120 I've just been up to my room. 425 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,800 �85 has been taken from my bag, 426 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,720 which I had hidden under the mattress. 427 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:17,760 Oh, yes? 428 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,880 It's a disgrace! I haven't been here a day. 429 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:22,720 - What sort of staff do you employ? - Mrs. Richards... 430 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,080 If you knew anything at all about running a hotel, 431 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:25,480 this sort of thing wouldn't happen! 432 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,597 Well, what have you got to say for yourself? 433 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:36,669 What? 434 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,920 Wait, wait, wait. I haven't got it turned up enough. 435 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,000 Basil! 436 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,760 I said I suggest... 437 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:52,400 Oh, my head, my head! 438 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,515 Has it come away? 439 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:56,920 Did you bang your head? 440 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:57,960 Yes! Yes! 441 00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,840 Oh, dear. Let me have a look. 442 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:02,240 You'd better go and lie down before something else happens. 443 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:03,240 Shut up! 444 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,000 Why don't you call the police? 445 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,880 We will, the moment we've searched the rooms. 446 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:07,920 My money's been taken! 447 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,880 Yes, yes, I know. Try not to speak. 448 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:11,632 Is this a piece of your brain? 449 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,120 �85. 450 00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,520 Take my arm. 451 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,400 I don't need your arm, thank you. 452 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,360 I can get down the stairs perfectly well by myself. 453 00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:25,440 "Down" the stairs? Don't stop when you get to the basement. 454 00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:29,480 Keep straight on. Give my regards to the earth's core. 455 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:30,880 Are you sure you can manage? 456 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:34,000 And if you give us any more trouble, I shall visit you in the small hours 457 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,000 and put a bat up your nightdress. 458 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,600 Well, that was fun, wasn't it? 459 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:41,160 The odd moment like that, almost worth staying alive for, isn't it? 460 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:44,880 It's nice to share a moment like that, isn't it? It's what marriage is all about. 461 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:48,040 I know. I read it on the back of a matchbox. 462 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,200 Basil, sometimes... 463 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,080 Seriously, Sybil, do you remember when we were first... 464 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,080 manacled together? 465 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,120 We used to laugh quite a lot. 466 00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:58,360 Yes, but not at the same time, Basil. 467 00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:02,720 That's true. That was a warning, I guess. Should have spotted that, shouldn't I? 468 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,880 Zoom! "What was that?" "That was your life, mate." 469 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,360 "Oh. That was quick. Do I get another?" 470 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:08,640 "Sorry, mate, that's your lot." 471 00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:09,640 Basil. 472 00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,520 Back to the world of dreams. Yes, dear? 473 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:12,720 What are we going to do? 474 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:13,960 Give it another 15 years? 475 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:17,120 - About the money. Do you... - Aw, she's left it in her room, 476 00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:19,600 or eaten it or something. We'll get Manuel to go through the room. 477 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:20,800 Polly can check the lounge... 478 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,920 - I saw Polly with money just now. - Well, there you are. 479 00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:26,559 Quite a bit, too. She was counting it in here. 480 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:28,800 Well, it's probably hers. 481 00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,960 No, she's been very short lately. I'll ask her... 482 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,880 Well, you can't. You can't just ask her like that. 483 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,160 - Why not? - It would be terribly rude, 484 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,880 asking someone if money is theirs. That would be so embarrassing! 485 00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:38,869 Rubbish, Basil. 486 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,880 Hello, Fawlty Towers. Polly Sherman? 487 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,680 Yes, certainly, I'll get her straightway. Hang on. 488 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:45,669 Polly! 489 00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:49,880 Terry, where's Polly? 490 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,080 In there. 491 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:52,880 - She saw you with the money! - What? 492 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,880 She saw you counting the horse money! 493 00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,200 She's just coming... oh, hello, dear. 494 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,880 Here she is. Found her in here. 495 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,880 As I was just saying, Polly, my wife would like a word with you 496 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:02,000 about a slightly delicate matter. 497 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,880 It's not delicate, Basil. Don't be silly. 498 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,120 He thinks it's embarrassing for me to ask you 499 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:09,480 about that money I saw you with earlier on in the office. 500 00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:12,440 I wondered if someone had handed it in. Mrs. Richards has lost some. 501 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,880 The money? In the office? 502 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,320 You were counting it, weren't you? Did someone hand it in? 503 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:18,800 Oh, no. 504 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:19,800 No, it's mine. 505 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,120 Yours? 506 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,560 I won it. 507 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,200 You won it? 508 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,880 On the horse Mr. Fawlty got a tip on. 509 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,760 I hope you don't mind, I... 510 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,240 No, no, not at all. 511 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,400 I didn't know you bet on the horses, Polly. 512 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:35,400 Oh, I don't. 513 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,880 Only I was in the town, and I passed the betting shop, 514 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:39,160 and I thought, well, why not? 515 00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,600 Well, why not indeed? Jolly good question, eh, dear? 516 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,320 Pity you didn't let me put something on, really. 517 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,880 You realize how much we would've won? 518 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,872 �75 for a �5 stake. Still, you know best. 519 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:51,920 Those were the odds, were they, Basil? 520 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,400 Yes, that's right, dear. 14-1. 521 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:56,440 I listened in on the wireless just to make sure it had triumphed. 522 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:57,880 Enjoy your winnings, Polly. 523 00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:58,880 Thank you. 524 00:19:58,880 --> 00:19:59,880 Polly. 525 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:00,880 Yes, Mrs. Fawlty? 526 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,320 What was the name of the horse? 527 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:04,520 The name? 528 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,600 Uh... 529 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:07,794 I've gone blank. 530 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,640 Birdbrain! 531 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:13,640 Birdbrain? 532 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:14,880 No, no, that came in third. 533 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,880 Uh... 534 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:17,880 Fishwife! 535 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,880 - What? - No... 536 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,880 No, not that. Small... 537 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:24,598 Fly! Fly! 538 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:27,873 Flying Tart! 539 00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:33,800 No, no, no, it got off to a flying start, 540 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,320 and it's name... 541 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,360 was Dragonfly! 542 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,874 Thank you, Polly. 543 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:46,920 If I find out the money on that horse was yours, 544 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,751 you know what I'll do, Basil. 545 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,598 You'll have to sew 'em back on first. 546 00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,960 - Ah, Major! - 6:00, old boy. 547 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,080 Oh, so it is. Uh, Major... 548 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:00,280 Can I offer you, uh... 549 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:03,600 Oh, very decent of you. Just a quick one. 550 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,760 Going to a memorial service. 551 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:06,880 Ah. 552 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,880 Tie's a bit bright, isn't it, Major? 553 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,760 - What? - For a memorial service? 554 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,640 Oh, I didn't like the chap. 555 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,960 One of those. Know what I mean? 556 00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,880 - Cheers. - Uh, Major... 557 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,280 could you do me a favor? 558 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,880 Well, I'm a bit short myself, old boy. 559 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,200 No, no, could you look after some money for me? 560 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,960 I won it on that horse. Only Sybil's a bit suspicious, you see? 561 00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,880 She goes through my pockets some nights. 562 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,480 Oh, absolutely. Which horse? 563 00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,760 - Uh, Dragonfly. - When's it running? 564 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,320 No, it ran today. I won that on it. 565 00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:34,800 Oh. Well done, old boy. 566 00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:35,880 No, could you keep it? 567 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,760 No, I couldn't do that, very decent of you... 568 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:41,080 No, could you keep it just tonight? It's Sybil, you see? Secret. 569 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:42,720 Ah, a present. 570 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,880 Sort of, yes. Don't mention it. 571 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:45,920 Mum's the word. 572 00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:47,840 I'll get it from you in the morning and bank it. 573 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,720 Understood, old boy. 574 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:51,709 Cheers. 575 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,040 There you are, Mr. Mackintosh. 576 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:00,600 There you are, Mr. Mackintosh. 577 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,880 Good morning, Mr. Fawlty. 578 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:04,074 Good morning, ladies. 579 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,000 Hello. Fawlty Towers. 580 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,920 Watt! 581 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:11,480 I didn't say anything. 582 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,440 Have you called the police yet? 583 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,160 Excuse me, I'm trying to take a telephone call. 584 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:16,440 Have you called them yet? 585 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:17,960 Yes, yes, we have. 586 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:19,800 When are they going to be here then? 587 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,360 As soon as possible. They're very busy today. 588 00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:22,440 Busy. Humph! 589 00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:26,400 Lot of bloodshed at the Nell Gwyn Tea Rooms last night. Hello? 590 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:29,640 Certainly, yes. Mrs. Richards? 591 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,240 Mrs. Richards! 592 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,240 Sorry. 593 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:33,360 Telephone for you. 594 00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:35,480 - Here. - Yes? 595 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:36,480 What's this for? 596 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,960 - Uh, telephone calls? - But I haven't made any. 597 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,560 - Uh... Cigarettes? - I don't smoke. 598 00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:42,680 There's nobody there. 599 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:43,680 Hello? 600 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,520 Yes, yes, I know she is. 601 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:48,760 Yes. It's your sister! 602 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:49,960 Well, what is it for? 603 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:51,520 Umm... Drinks? 604 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:52,840 Drinks? Me? 605 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:53,960 We've been cut off. 606 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,880 Hello? Look, you tell me, and I'll tell her. 607 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,000 Even the phones don't work. 608 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:04,560 Your sister says you've had an offer of �87,000 for your house in Brighton. 609 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,560 87,000? 610 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:07,880 Give it to me. 611 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:09,880 Don't be a fool, Stephanie. 612 00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:14,360 92,750 I said, and I'm not taking a penny less. You tell him that. 613 00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:15,873 Why don't people listen? 614 00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:18,840 Well? 615 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:22,440 Well, let's scrub that 32p then, shall we? Let's enjoy ourselves. 616 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:23,760 Oh, thank you very much. 617 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,520 Oh, Major! Major! Um, can I have it now? 618 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:28,520 - What, old boy? - The money. 619 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:29,880 The money I gave you last night? 620 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:31,400 What... what is all this about? 621 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:32,880 You remember I gave you some money 622 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,880 just before you went to that remembrance service? 623 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,440 - Remembrance service? - Yes. 624 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:37,880 I don't remember that, old boy. 625 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,000 It was for a chap you didn't like. 626 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,920 You know, he was... one of those? 627 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:42,960 One of those what? 628 00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,880 Well... 629 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:45,880 Pansy? 630 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:46,880 Yes. 631 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:47,880 Which one? 632 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,400 No, no, no, no. You were in your best suit. 633 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,440 Was I? Oh, yes, of course! 634 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:54,040 I went to the theater, of course! 635 00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:55,040 - No, no... - Yes, yes, 636 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,640 with Winnie Atwell, yes. 637 00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,320 Winnie Atwell? 638 00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,200 Well, Marjorie Atwell then, Marjorie. 639 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:03,160 I always call her Winnie because... well, because she looks like Winnie. 640 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,440 She's not black. 641 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,440 Black? Churchill wasn't black. 642 00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,120 Look, look, look, 643 00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:11,800 I gave you �75. You put it in there. 644 00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,880 What do you mean by telling me you called the police? 645 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,040 You've done no such thing. 646 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,880 Your wife's just told me you're still searching the rooms. 647 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:18,880 Well, I thought she'd called them. 648 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:20,320 You lying hound! 649 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,480 - Mrs. Richards... - Go and call them now, immediately. 650 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,800 Mrs. Richards, we will, the moment we've searched... 651 00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,480 Right. I shall call them myself then. 652 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:27,680 Couldn't we just wait until... 653 00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,120 I've never seen such a place! 654 00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:31,160 All right, Mrs. Richards. 655 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,040 Would you like to use the office phone? 656 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,200 What? 657 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,760 In here. Thank you. 658 00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:38,840 Basil! 659 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:40,880 Get the key and check her room. 660 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:41,880 Right. 661 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,160 I found it, Fawlty! 662 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,560 It was in my pocket! Yes, in my new suit! 663 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:46,720 - Major, sh! - In here, you see? 664 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,880 - Stuffed right down. - Can I have it? 665 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:52,400 I don't know how it got there, you, see, because I make a point 666 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,040 of keeping my money in my hip pocket. 667 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:55,160 Yes, please! Please! 668 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:56,600 - What, old boy? - Can I have it? 669 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,160 Oh, yes, yes, the money. Yes, yes, of course. 670 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:00,840 Good God, it's gone! 671 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:01,880 No, no, in there! 672 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:03,160 Basil? 673 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,080 - Here it is! - What's that? 674 00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:06,400 I found it, Mrs. Fawlty. 675 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:07,400 The money. 676 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,600 Oh, that's marvelous! Mrs. Richards! 677 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:10,680 What? 678 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,320 We found your money. 679 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:13,480 No! 680 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:15,080 The Major's found your money. 681 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:16,880 - No! N-nn... - What? 682 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:18,440 Thank you so much, Major. 683 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,749 There you are. I told you it would turn up. 684 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:23,880 What is it, Basil? 685 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,000 Bit of luck, eh, Fawlty? 686 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,920 It's �10 short. 687 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,400 Oh, dear. 688 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,960 It's not! 689 00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,520 �10 short? 690 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,320 Oh, my God! 691 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,720 Don't worry, we'll have a whip round! 692 00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:39,840 Basil, stop! 693 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:41,319 What's he doing now? 694 00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:44,760 What on earth do you think you're doing? 695 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,640 I'll look for the missing �10 immediately, Mrs. Richards. 696 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:48,880 Where exactly did you find it, Major? 697 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:49,880 In my pocket. 698 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:50,880 In your pocket? 699 00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:52,760 Yeah, yeah. Not this suit. In my new suit. 700 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,720 Would you mind if I popped up and had a look? 701 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:55,880 No, no, not at all. 702 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,680 I'll see if I can find it. Won't be a moment. 703 00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,400 Uh, it's in with the, um, the, uh... 704 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:01,920 Did you say it was in your pocket? 705 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:02,920 Yes, yes. 706 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:04,480 What was it doing in your pocket? 707 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:05,880 Can I explain? 708 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:07,711 You're not explaining anything. You're completely loopy. 709 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:09,880 Mad as a March hare! 710 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,880 Yes, yes, I am. Yes, I am completely loopy. 711 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,440 That's why I gave him the money to look after. 712 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,240 You see, there's been a mistake. 713 00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,160 That money there is in fact mine. 714 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,000 - Yours? - Yes, as the Major will confirm, 715 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,000 you see, I was saving it up for a present for my wife. 716 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,120 That's why I couldn't say anything just now, 717 00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:26,720 but I gave it to the Major last night... 718 00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:28,320 What rubbish! This is my money. 719 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:29,760 No, the Major will verify what I've said. 720 00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:30,760 Hmm? 721 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:32,840 - Could you verify that, Major? - What, old boy? 722 00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:34,600 Uhh... The money. I gave you last night, 723 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,320 for my wife's present? I gave it to you 724 00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,080 just before you went to the theater? 725 00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:39,080 The theater? 726 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,800 Well... Yes. You... you remember? 727 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,120 That money I won on the horses! 728 00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:44,360 A horse? 729 00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:46,400 Why are you whispering? What are you saying? 730 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:47,880 He says he won it on a horse. 731 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:48,880 Won it on a horse? 732 00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:52,880 Shh! It doesn't matter! Do you remember me giving it to you? 733 00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,680 Oh, think! Please think! 734 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,520 What was the question again? 735 00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:58,520 Oh, the money, the money! Do you... 736 00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:00,280 Manuel! Manuel! Manuel! Manuel! 737 00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:03,040 You remember I had some money yesterday? 738 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:04,680 The money I won on the horse? 739 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:05,800 Oh, s�. 740 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,240 Tell Mrs. Richards. Tell her I had the money yesterday. 741 00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:09,880 Ahem-hem! 742 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,393 I know nothing. 743 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:13,960 What? 744 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:14,960 What?! 745 00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:16,320 I know nothing. 746 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:17,560 - No, no... - Nothing. 747 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:18,920 No, no, forget that! 748 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:20,880 I forget everything. I know nothing. 749 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,880 - You can tell her! - No, I cannot. 750 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:23,880 Yes, yes, tell her! 751 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,080 Tell her. Please! Please! 752 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:26,520 Tell her. Tell her! 753 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,120 Tell her! Tell her, or I'll kill you! 754 00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:29,800 Oh. Ha ha! 755 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:31,870 No, I know nothing. 756 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:34,632 I am from Barcelona. 757 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,800 I'm not listening to any more of this rubbish! 758 00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,320 I'm going to finish my breakfast, 759 00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:42,280 and when I come back, I want the rest of my money. 760 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,080 Give it to her, Basil. 761 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,275 I can't find it. Give her 10 from the till. 762 00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:50,593 Right! 763 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:00,960 What are you doing? 764 00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,560 I'm going to give her the shirt off my back, too! 765 00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:05,080 You see? I know nothing. 766 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,514 I'm gonna send you to a vivisectionist. 767 00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:09,240 Now... 768 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,549 Now... 769 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,880 Good afternoon, Mr. Fawlty. 770 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:28,880 Good afternoon. 771 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,110 You got a Mrs. Richards staying here? 772 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:36,280 Yes. 773 00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:38,080 Oh. Ah, well, 774 00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:39,840 only she bought this yesterday, 775 00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,400 asked us to deliver it. 776 00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,600 The thing is, she left some money behind. 777 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:45,880 Keeps it in this. 778 00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:47,920 95 quid. Look. 779 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,320 The cleaner found it this morning. 780 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,880 Almost threw it in the bin. Lucky, eh? 781 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:53,949 Is she around? 782 00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:57,200 Nope. 783 00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,560 I'll give it to her. 784 00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,880 Oh. Thanks, Mr. Fawlty. 785 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:02,199 Goodbye. 786 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:11,997 Mm-mwah! 787 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:15,480 We found her money! 788 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:16,480 Where? 789 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,391 She... it doesn't matter. 790 00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,400 I'm �10 up on the deal! 791 00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:22,480 �10 up? 792 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,320 Yes, it's 95... even if I give her 10, 793 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:25,560 I'm still 10 up! 794 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:27,880 Polly, for the first time in my life, I'm ahead! 795 00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:28,869 I'm winning! 796 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,880 Hello, Mrs. Richards. How lovely to see you. 797 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,520 Your beautiful vase that you bought yesterday 798 00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:39,520 has just arrived. Now, remind me, 799 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:41,880 the money that you have there, is it yours or mine? 800 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,600 I told you. It's mine. 801 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:44,720 You're absolutely sure? 802 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:45,880 Yes, I am. 803 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,640 - But you're still �10 short? - Yes. 804 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,632 Polly, give Mrs. Richards this, would you? 805 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:54,880 What's that? 806 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:56,871 This is mine. 807 00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,558 What's that, Basil? 808 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:02,920 It's mine. 809 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:03,960 What? 810 00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:05,880 It's the money I won on the horse. 811 00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:09,316 Oh, yes, right. Polly asked me to put it in the safe for her. 812 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,880 So, that's all sorted out, and this is your money, Polly. 813 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,880 And this is your beautiful vase, Mrs. Richards. 814 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:22,120 Fawlty! You did give me that money! 815 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,200 You won it on that horse! 816 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:25,872 Aah! 817 00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,880 That cost �75! 818 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:35,000 Oh, I am sorry, Mrs. Richards. 819 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:36,991 We must pay you back. There you are. One... 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 57532

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