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1
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:29,913
- Number 17, please.
- That'll be fine, thank you.
2
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:32,360
Goodbye.
Thank you so much.
3
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:34,560
Hello, Fawlty Towers.
4
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,440
Oh, hello,
Mr. Hawkins.
5
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:38,880
- I've arranged your car for 2:00.
- Thank you.
6
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:41,000
Well, you did say today,
Mr. Hawkins.
7
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,600
- You do accept checks?
- With a banker's card, yes.
8
00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,720
Well, we have to cancel
the order then.
9
00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:49,120
Yes. No, no,
5:00 will be fine.
10
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:50,880
Goodbye.
11
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:52,960
Polly, Brenda
can't start till Monday.
12
00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:54,880
Would you mind doing
the rooms until then?
13
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,480
- Oh, no. I could do with the money.
- Oh, good.
14
00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,440
There you are.
15
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:00,640
Thank you,
Mr. Yardley.
16
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:02,680
Oh, hello.
Can I help you?
17
00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:03,840
- Yes...
- Girl,
18
00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:05,360
would you give me
change for this, please?
19
00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,280
In one moment.
I'm just dealing with this gentleman.
20
00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:08,960
- Yes, Mr. Thurston...
- What?
21
00:01:08,960 --> 00:01:11,080
- I was wondering...
- I need change for this!
22
00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:13,360
In a moment.
I'm dealing with this gentleman.
23
00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,200
But I have
a taxi driver waiting.
24
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,520
Surely this gentleman wouldn't mind
if you just gave me change.
25
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,875
- Do you?
- No, no. Go ahead.
26
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:22,640
- There you are.
- Thank you.
27
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,520
Can you tell me
how to get to Glendower Street?
28
00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,520
Now, I've booked
a room and bath
29
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:29,160
with a sea view
for three nights.
30
00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:30,880
- Glendower Street?
- Yes.
31
00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:32,960
You haven't
finished with me.
32
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,080
Missus?
33
00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,240
Mrs. Richards.
Mrs. Alice Richards.
34
00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:37,960
Mrs. Richards,
Mr. Thurston.
35
00:01:37,960 --> 00:01:39,200
Mr. Thurston,
Mrs. Richards.
36
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:42,000
Mr. Thurston is the gentleman
I'm attending to at the moment.
37
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,000
What?
38
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,240
Mr. Thurston is
the gentleman I'm attending...
39
00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:47,160
Don't shout.
I'm not deaf.
40
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:49,720
Mr. Thurston was here
before you, Mrs. Richards.
41
00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:51,000
But you were
serving me!
42
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,680
I gave you change,
but I hadn't finished dealing with him.
43
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:54,880
Now, Glendower Street...
44
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,640
Isn't there anyone else
in attendance?
45
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,480
Really, this is
the most appalling service!
46
00:01:58,480 --> 00:01:59,720
What a good idea!
47
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,680
Manuel, could you
lend Mrs. Richards
48
00:02:01,680 --> 00:02:04,558
your assistance in connection
with her reservation?
49
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,680
Now...
50
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:10,520
I've reserved
a very quiet room
51
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:12,520
with a bath
and a sea view.
52
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,880
I specifically asked for a sea view
in my written confirmation,
53
00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,120
so please make sure
I have it.
54
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:19,109
Qu�?
55
00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:23,480
- What?
- Qu�?
56
00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:24,880
- K?
- S�.
57
00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:26,280
C?
58
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,960
"KC"?
59
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:29,880
"KC"?
What are you trying to say?
60
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:30,880
No, no, no, no.
61
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:32,840
- Qu�: What.
- K-watt?
62
00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:34,240
S�.
Qu�... what.
63
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,549
- C.K. Watt?
- Yes!
64
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:38,840
Who is C.K. Watt?
65
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:39,840
Qu�?
66
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,400
Is he the manager,
Mr. Watt?
67
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,080
- Manaher!
- He is?
68
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,120
Ah, Mr. Fawlty!
69
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,480
- What?
- Fawlty!
70
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:47,880
What are you talking about,
you silly little man?
71
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:49,520
What is going on here?
72
00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:51,880
I ask him for my room,
and he tells me
73
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:53,760
the manager's
a Mr. Watt, aged 40.
74
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:54,880
No. No, no.
75
00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:56,080
Faw-lty.
76
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:57,520
"Faulty"?
77
00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:59,440
What's wrong with him?
78
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:00,880
It's all right,
Mrs. Richards.
79
00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,360
He's from Barcelona.
80
00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,320
The manager's
from Barcelona?
81
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,400
No, no, no.
He's from Swanage.
82
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,880
- And you're in 22.
- What?
83
00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:10,480
You're in room 22.
84
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:13,313
Manuel, take these cases
up to 22, will you?
85
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:17,680
Very nice stay,
Mr. Fawlty.
86
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:18,800
Ah, glad
you enjoyed it.
87
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:20,880
Polly, would you get
Mr. Firkin's bill, please?
88
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:22,280
When will we
see you again?
89
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,600
Oh, not
for a few weeks.
90
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:26,320
You're not by any chance
a betting man, Mr. Fawlty?
91
00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,880
Er... well, I used to be.
92
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,320
Only there's a very nice little filly
running at Exeter this afternoon.
93
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:34,280
- Really?
- Dragonfly.
94
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,280
Ah.
95
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:36,880
- Dragonfly?
- Yeah.
96
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:39,680
It's well worth a flutter,
but pay the tax on it before...
97
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,520
Oh, delighted
you enjoyed your stay.
98
00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:42,560
Very nice.
99
00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,160
Hope to see you again
before long.
100
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:45,880
- There you are.
- Thank you.
101
00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:47,200
Goodbye,
Mrs. Fawlty.
102
00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,880
Goodbye, Mr. Firkin.
103
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,360
A satisfied customer.
104
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,157
We should have him
stuffed.
105
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,760
Oh, Mr. Fawlty,
106
00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,920
3:00, Exeter,
Dragonfly.
107
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:58,680
Right?
108
00:03:58,680 --> 00:03:59,800
Yes, good luck!
109
00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,791
Jolly... jolly
good luck with it.
110
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:04,880
Morning, Major.
111
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:06,871
Good morning,
Fawlty.
112
00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:10,520
Yes, dear?
113
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,960
What was that about
the 3:00 at Exeter, Basil?
114
00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,440
Oh, some horse
he's gonna bet on, I expect.
115
00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,120
You're looking very spruce
this morning, Major.
116
00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,520
- St. George's Day, old boy.
- Really?
117
00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:21,431
Got a horse, have you?
What's his name?
118
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,400
Did you catch it, dear?
119
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:25,880
Dragonfly, Major.
120
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,760
- Going to have a flutter, Fawlty?
- No, no, no, no, no.
121
00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:31,880
No, Basil doesn't bet anymore, Major.
Do you, dear?
122
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,080
No, I don't, dear, no.
123
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:34,880
That particular avenue
of pleasure
124
00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,553
has been closed off
for me.
125
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,720
And we don't want it
opened up again, do we, Basil?
126
00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:45,640
No, you don't, dear. No.
127
00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,080
The great warning-off
of May 8th, yes.
128
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,920
Good old Saint George,
eh, Major?
129
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:53,880
Well, he killed a hideous
fire-breathing old dragon, didn't he?
130
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:56,320
Ran it through
with a lance, I believe.
131
00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:57,840
Mr. Fawlty!
Mr. Fawlty!
132
00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,796
Is Missus...
room no like.
133
00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:01,520
She want speak to you.
Is problem.
134
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:03,954
Ever see my wife
making toast, Polly?
135
00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,360
Why... why'd he kill it
anyway, Fawlty?
136
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,120
I don't know, Major.
Better than marrying it.
137
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:11,240
Marrying it?
138
00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:13,560
But he didn't have
to kill it, though, did he?
139
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:14,880
I mean, he could've, uh,
140
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,871
just not turned up
at the church.
141
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,160
Good morning, Madam.
Can I help you?
142
00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:28,080
- Are you the manager?
- I am the owner, Madam.
143
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:30,560
- What?
- I am the owner.
144
00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:31,960
I want to speak
to the manager.
145
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,520
- I am the manager, too.
- What?
146
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:35,920
I am the manager
as well.
147
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,360
Manaher.
He manaher.
148
00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:40,430
Oh, you're Watt.
149
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:43,040
I'm the manager!
150
00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:44,760
- What?
- I'm the manager!
151
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:47,640
Yes, I know. You've just told me.
What's the matter with you?
152
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:48,920
Now, listen to me.
153
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:50,880
I booked a room
with a bath.
154
00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,520
When I book a room with a bath,
I expect to get a bath.
155
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,600
You've got a bath.
156
00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,760
I'm not paying
�7.20p per night,
157
00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,240
plus V.A.T., for a room
without a bath!
158
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:00,912
Here is your bath.
159
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,120
You call that a bath?
160
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:05,880
It's not big enough
to drown a mouse.
161
00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,400
It's disgraceful!
162
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,120
I wish you were a mouse.
I'd show you.
163
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,880
And another thing.
164
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,760
I asked for a room
with a view.
165
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:15,720
Deaf, mad, and blind.
166
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:19,880
This is the view
as far as I can remember, madam.
167
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:21,840
Yes, yes, this is it.
168
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,680
When I pay for a view,
169
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,880
I expect something
more interesting than that.
170
00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,520
That is Torquay, madam.
171
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,560
That is not good enough.
172
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,800
Well, may I ask what you
were expecting to see
173
00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:34,680
out of a Torquay hotel
bedroom window?
174
00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,240
Sydney Opera House,
perhaps?
175
00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:38,880
The Hanging Gardens
of Babylon?
176
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:41,360
Herds of wildebeest
sweeping majestically...
177
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:42,520
Don't be silly.
178
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,440
I expect to be able
to see the sea.
179
00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:45,880
You can see the sea.
180
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,000
It's over there between
the land and the sky.
181
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,800
I need a telescope
to see that.
182
00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:52,880
Well, may I suggest
that you consider moving
183
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,120
to a hotel
closer to the sea?
184
00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,880
Or preferably in it?
185
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,080
Right.
186
00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,640
Now, listen to me.
187
00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:02,000
I'm not satisfied,
but I've decided to stay here.
188
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,640
However, I shall expect
a reduction.
189
00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,520
Why, because Krakatoa's
not erupting at the moment?
190
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,160
Because the room
is cold,
191
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,720
the bath is too small,
the view is invisible,
192
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:12,920
and the radio doesn't work.
193
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,800
No, the radio works.
You don't.
194
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:16,880
What?
195
00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,950
I'll see if I can fix it,
you scabby old bat.
196
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:27,600
- I think we got something then.
- What?
197
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,160
I think we got
something then!
198
00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:30,160
What are you doing?
199
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:31,760
Qu�?
200
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,080
Madam, don't think me rude,
but may I ask,
201
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:36,880
do you by any chance
have a hearing aid?
202
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:37,880
A what?
203
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:38,880
A hearing aid!
204
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,560
Yes, I do have
a hearing aid.
205
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,440
Would you like me
to get it mended?!
206
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:44,880
Mended?
It's working perfectly all right.
207
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:45,880
No, it isn't!
208
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,640
I haven't got it
turned on at the moment.
209
00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:49,880
- Why not?
- The battery runs down.
210
00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:53,240
Now, what sort of a reduction
are you going to give me on this room?
211
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,200
- 60% if you turn it on.
- What?
212
00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:57,880
My wife handles
all such matters.
213
00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,120
I'm sure she will be delighted
to discuss it with you.
214
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:01,640
I shall speak to her
after lunch.
215
00:08:01,640 --> 00:08:03,000
You heard that all right,
didn't you?
216
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,800
- What?
- Thank you so much.
217
00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,440
Lunch will be served
at half past 12:00.
218
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:07,440
Manuel! Manuel!
219
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,280
Are you going
to the betting shop today?
220
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,560
- What?
- Oh, don't you start!
221
00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,320
You go betting shop today?
222
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:14,560
Oh, s�!
Betting shop, s�!
223
00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:17,880
Now, I want you to put this
on this little horse,
224
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,280
Dragonfly, but... big secret.
225
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,555
Sybil no know.
226
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:29,120
No, no, it's lovely.
It's just a bit buttery with my skin.
227
00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:30,920
I think I need something
more... more...
228
00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:36,600
topazy, for my coloring,
you know, more tonal.
229
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,800
Have you got...
have you got Cosmopolitan there?
230
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,758
Page 42,
you see Burt Reynolds?
231
00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:47,360
Well, there's a girl standing behind him
looking at James Caan.
232
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,240
That sort of color.
233
00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,560
Mm.
234
00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:53,920
Lovely.
All right, I'll be in at 11:00.
235
00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:56,480
- Oh, Polly...
- Hmm?
236
00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:57,880
I've got to check
the laundry.
237
00:08:57,880 --> 00:08:59,200
Could you keep an eye
on reception for me?
238
00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:00,599
Sure.
239
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,280
Polly, Polly,
where Mr. Fawlty?
240
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,720
I don't know.
What's the matter?
241
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,915
I have money for him.
He win on horse,
242
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,920
but big secret, sh!
Mrs. Fawlty, sh!
243
00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,309
Well, give it to me.
I'll give it to him.
244
00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,240
Good afternoon,
Miss Gatsby.
245
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:32,680
Good afternoon,
Miss Tibbs.
246
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:33,760
Good afternoon.
247
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,560
Good afternoon.
248
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:37,040
Good afternoon.
249
00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:39,360
First they give me
a room without a bath,
250
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:40,952
then there's no
lavatory paper!
251
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,080
Would you like
some of ours?
252
00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,280
We keep
an extra supply.
253
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:49,200
Yes. Would you like
some of ours?
254
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,200
Hello!
255
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,400
Girl, there's no paper in my room.
Why don't you check these things?
256
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,200
That's what you're
being paid for, isn't it?
257
00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,760
- We don't put it in the rooms.
- What?
258
00:09:57,760 --> 00:09:59,040
We keep it
in the lounge.
259
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:00,880
In the lounge?!
260
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,880
I'll get you some.
261
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,880
Do you want plain ones,
or ones with our address on it?
262
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:07,280
Address on it?!
263
00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:08,508
How many sheets?
264
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,080
Well, how many
are you going to use?
265
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,040
Manager!
266
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,840
Just enough for one?
Tell me.
267
00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,160
Manager! Manager!
268
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:18,840
Yes?
269
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:21,240
Testing...
testing...
270
00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:22,400
There you are.
271
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,800
I've never met
such insolence in my life!
272
00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,880
I come down here
to get some lavatory paper,
273
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,320
and she starts asking me
the most insulting,
274
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,280
personal things
I've ever heard in my life!
275
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,000
I thought she wanted
writing paper.
276
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,080
- I'm talking to you, Watt!
- Watt?
277
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,880
Are you deaf?
I said I'm talking to you.
278
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:40,920
I've never met
such insolence in my life.
279
00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:42,880
She said people use it
in the lounge.
280
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,720
- Yes, she thought...
- Then she starts asking me...
281
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,800
- No, please listen...
- appalling questions about...
282
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,880
I can explain. No, you see,
she thought you wanted to write.
283
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:52,440
Wanted a fight?
I'll give her a fight, all right!
284
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:54,520
- No, no, no. Wanted to write!
- What?
285
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,440
Wanted to write.
On the paper.
286
00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,078
Why should I want
to write on it?
287
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,640
I'll have some sent up
to your room immediately.
288
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:02,880
Manuel!
289
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:06,240
That doesn't work either.
What were you saying just now?
290
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,760
- Turn it on.
- What?
291
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,880
Turn it...
292
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:12,840
Turn...
293
00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:13,840
it...
294
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,159
on.
295
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:18,868
I can't read that.
I need my glasses.
296
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,760
Where are they?
297
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,360
They're on your head,
Mrs. Richards.
298
00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:24,600
I've lost them.
299
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,840
They're the only pair I've got.
I can't read a thing without them.
300
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:28,840
Excuse me!
301
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,280
- Now, I had them this morning...
- Mrs. Richards...
302
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,920
When I was buying the vase...
I put them on to look at it,
303
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:35,600
and then I had them
at tea time...
304
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,880
Mrs. Richards!
Your glasses are there!
305
00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:41,680
There?
Who put them in there?
306
00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:44,000
No, no, no!
On your head!
307
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,400
- What?
- On your... look,
308
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,118
On...
309
00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:53,880
I'm sorry about that,
Mr. Fawlty.
310
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:55,880
Manuel asked me
to give this to you.
311
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,880
Oh! Thank you, Polly,
and, Polly...
312
00:11:57,880 --> 00:11:59,400
Not a word
to the dragon, eh?
313
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,760
- No.
- Right.
314
00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:02,280
Oh, Manuel,
315
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:04,920
get some loo paper,
muchos, for 22.
316
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:07,040
Uh, twent... s�.
317
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,120
Are you blind?
318
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:10,000
There were on my head all the time.
Didn't you see?
319
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,080
- Yes.
- Didn't God give you eyes?
320
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:15,200
Yes, but I don't use 'em,
'cause it wears the batteries out.
321
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:18,078
Send my paper up
immediately.
322
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,880
What's all that?
323
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,279
22.
324
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,154
Evening, Terry.
325
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,480
Do you like Cavaliera Rusticana,
Terry?
326
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,311
I've never had it,
Mr. Fawlty.
327
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,680
You're in a good mood,
Mr. Fawlty.
328
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:42,880
Had a little bit of luck
on the gee-gees.
329
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:44,871
Not a word
to the "trouble and strife," eh?
330
00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:50,360
Oh, de Camptown Ladies
sing this song
331
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:52,480
Doo dah, doo dah
332
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,720
Camptown racetrack
five miles long
333
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:56,440
Doo-dah doo-dah day
334
00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,360
Goin' to run all night
335
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,160
Goin' to run all day
336
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,080
Gonna bet me money
on the bobtail nag...
337
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,120
I did it my way.
338
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:08,720
Can't stand Frank Sinatra.
"You make me feel so young." Rubbish.
339
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:10,480
You seem very jolly, Basil.
340
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:11,880
Hmm?
341
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:12,960
You seem very jolly.
342
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:13,960
Jolly?
343
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,440
Yes, jolly.
Sort of... happy.
344
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,840
Oh, happy.
Yes, I remember that.
345
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,640
Not that I noticed,
dear, no.
346
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,880
I'll report it
if it happens, though.
347
00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,880
Well, you look
happy to me, Basil.
348
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:25,880
No, I'm not, dear.
349
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:28,880
All that dancing about,
singing and rubbing your hands.
350
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:31,680
Just my way of getting
through the day, dear.
351
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:33,875
The Samaritans were engaged.
352
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:42,880
I thought maybe
you were in love. Hah!
353
00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,880
Only with you,
light of my life.
354
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,880
Or had a bit
of luck or something.
355
00:13:48,880 --> 00:13:51,720
Did Mr. Hawkins
deliver the tonics, Terry?
356
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,472
Yes, he did,
Mrs. Fawlty.
357
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,120
Manuel! Manuel!
358
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:57,880
Oh, your horse,
it win! It win!
359
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:58,920
Shh! Shh!
Manuel...
360
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,559
You know nothing.
361
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:05,320
You always say, Mr. Fawlty,
but I learn.
362
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,753
- What?
- I learn, I learn.
363
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:08,720
- No, no...
- I get better!
364
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:09,880
No, you
don't understand.
365
00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:10,880
- I do!
- No, you don't.
366
00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:11,880
L... I do
understand that...
367
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:13,760
Shh! Shh!
368
00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:16,880
You know nothing
about the horse.
369
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:18,880
I know nothing
about the horse.
370
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:20,120
Yes.
371
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,680
Ah.
372
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:22,715
Which horse?
373
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:24,720
What?
374
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,040
Which horse
I know nothing?
375
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,600
My horse, nitwit!
376
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,200
Your horse, Nitwit?
377
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,800
No, no, Dragonfly!
378
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:32,800
- It won!
- Yes, I know!
379
00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,320
I know it won, too!
I put money on for you.
380
00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:36,880
You give me money,
I go to betting shop...
381
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:37,960
Yes, I know, I know!
382
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:40,640
Why you say
I know nothing?
383
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,073
Look, look, look...
384
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:44,640
You know the horse?
385
00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,240
Uh... Nitwit
or Dragonfly?
386
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,800
Dragonfly! There isn't a horse called...
you're the nitwit!
387
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:51,880
What is "wit-nit"?
388
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:52,960
It doesn't matt...
389
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,760
I could spend the rest of my life
having this conversation!
390
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:59,469
Please, please try to understand
before one of us dies!
391
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:01,760
I try.
392
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:05,720
You're going to forget
everything you know about Nitwit.
393
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:06,720
No, no, Dragonfly.
394
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,040
Dragonfly! Yes!
395
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:09,553
S�, s�, s�.
396
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,878
Eventually.
397
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:16,800
What?
398
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,400
Eventually.
399
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:20,880
Uh, at the end.
400
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:23,040
No, no, no,
forget it now!
401
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,120
Now?
402
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:25,880
Well, pretend you forget!
403
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:26,880
Pretend?
404
00:15:26,880 --> 00:15:30,880
Well, don't say anything to anyone
about the horse!
405
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:33,880
I know that.
You tell me that this morning!
406
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,280
- Basil?
- So don't do it again!
407
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:37,280
Yes, dear?
408
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:38,840
It's Mrs. Richards.
409
00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:39,875
A fatal accident?
410
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,320
She's had
some money stolen.
411
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:44,840
Oh, Mr. Fawlty,
412
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:45,880
I tell Polly.
413
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:49,320
That's all right, but don't tell anyone else,
not even me! You know nothing!
414
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:50,320
- Basil?
- Yes, dear?
415
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:53,160
You've got to help me handle this.
She's in a frightful state.
416
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,880
I can't get a word in edgewise.
She's had �85 taken from her room.
417
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:58,880
I said we'll search everyone,
but she insists we send for the police.
418
00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,640
What do we do with someone like that?
She just keeps on!
419
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:00,680
Mrs. Richards,
how very nice to see you!
420
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,440
Mrs. Richards,
how very nice to see you!
421
00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:04,880
Are you enjoying your stay?
422
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,880
There's no need to shout.
I have my hearing aid on.
423
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:10,280
Mrs. Richards,
I've explained to my husband...
424
00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,120
I've just been
up to my room.
425
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,800
�85 has been taken
from my bag,
426
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,720
which I had hidden
under the mattress.
427
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:17,760
Oh, yes?
428
00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:19,880
It's a disgrace!
I haven't been here a day.
429
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:22,720
- What sort of staff do you employ?
- Mrs. Richards...
430
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,080
If you knew anything at all
about running a hotel,
431
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:25,480
this sort of thing
wouldn't happen!
432
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:28,597
Well, what have you got
to say for yourself?
433
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:36,669
What?
434
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,920
Wait, wait, wait.
I haven't got it turned up enough.
435
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,000
Basil!
436
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,760
I said I suggest...
437
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:52,400
Oh, my head, my head!
438
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,515
Has it come away?
439
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:56,920
Did you bang
your head?
440
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:57,960
Yes! Yes!
441
00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,840
Oh, dear.
Let me have a look.
442
00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:02,240
You'd better go and lie down
before something else happens.
443
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:03,240
Shut up!
444
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,000
Why don't you
call the police?
445
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,880
We will, the moment
we've searched the rooms.
446
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:07,920
My money's been taken!
447
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,880
Yes, yes, I know.
Try not to speak.
448
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:11,632
Is this a piece
of your brain?
449
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,120
�85.
450
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:17,520
Take my arm.
451
00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:19,400
I don't need your arm,
thank you.
452
00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:22,360
I can get down the stairs
perfectly well by myself.
453
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:25,440
"Down" the stairs?
Don't stop when you get to the basement.
454
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:29,480
Keep straight on.
Give my regards to the earth's core.
455
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:30,880
Are you sure
you can manage?
456
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:34,000
And if you give us any more trouble,
I shall visit you in the small hours
457
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,000
and put a bat
up your nightdress.
458
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,600
Well, that was fun,
wasn't it?
459
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:41,160
The odd moment like that,
almost worth staying alive for, isn't it?
460
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:44,880
It's nice to share a moment like that,
isn't it? It's what marriage is all about.
461
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:48,040
I know. I read it
on the back of a matchbox.
462
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,200
Basil, sometimes...
463
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,080
Seriously, Sybil, do you remember
when we were first...
464
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,080
manacled together?
465
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,120
We used to laugh
quite a lot.
466
00:17:56,120 --> 00:17:58,360
Yes, but not
at the same time, Basil.
467
00:17:58,360 --> 00:18:02,720
That's true. That was a warning, I guess.
Should have spotted that, shouldn't I?
468
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,880
Zoom! "What was that?"
"That was your life, mate."
469
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,360
"Oh. That was quick.
Do I get another?"
470
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:08,640
"Sorry, mate,
that's your lot."
471
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:09,640
Basil.
472
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,520
Back to the world of dreams.
Yes, dear?
473
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:12,720
What are we going to do?
474
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:13,960
Give it another 15 years?
475
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:17,120
- About the money. Do you...
- Aw, she's left it in her room,
476
00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:19,600
or eaten it or something.
We'll get Manuel to go through the room.
477
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:20,800
Polly can check
the lounge...
478
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,920
- I saw Polly with money just now.
- Well, there you are.
479
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:26,559
Quite a bit, too.
She was counting it in here.
480
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:28,800
Well, it's probably hers.
481
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,960
No, she's been very short lately.
I'll ask her...
482
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,880
Well, you can't.
You can't just ask her like that.
483
00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,160
- Why not?
- It would be terribly rude,
484
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,880
asking someone if money is theirs.
That would be so embarrassing!
485
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:38,869
Rubbish, Basil.
486
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:41,880
Hello, Fawlty Towers.
Polly Sherman?
487
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,680
Yes, certainly, I'll get her straightway.
Hang on.
488
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:45,669
Polly!
489
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:49,880
Terry, where's Polly?
490
00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,080
In there.
491
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:52,880
- She saw you with the money!
- What?
492
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,880
She saw you counting
the horse money!
493
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:56,200
She's just coming...
oh, hello, dear.
494
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,880
Here she is.
Found her in here.
495
00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,880
As I was just saying, Polly,
my wife would like a word with you
496
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:02,000
about a slightly
delicate matter.
497
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,880
It's not delicate, Basil.
Don't be silly.
498
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,120
He thinks it's embarrassing
for me to ask you
499
00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:09,480
about that money I saw you with
earlier on in the office.
500
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:12,440
I wondered if someone had handed it in.
Mrs. Richards has lost some.
501
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,880
The money?
In the office?
502
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:17,320
You were counting it, weren't you?
Did someone hand it in?
503
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:18,800
Oh, no.
504
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:19,800
No, it's mine.
505
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,120
Yours?
506
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,560
I won it.
507
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:25,200
You won it?
508
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,880
On the horse
Mr. Fawlty got a tip on.
509
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,760
I hope you
don't mind, I...
510
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:32,240
No, no, not at all.
511
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,400
I didn't know you bet
on the horses, Polly.
512
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:35,400
Oh, I don't.
513
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,880
Only I was in the town,
and I passed the betting shop,
514
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:39,160
and I thought,
well, why not?
515
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:41,600
Well, why not indeed?
Jolly good question, eh, dear?
516
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,320
Pity you didn't let me put
something on, really.
517
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,880
You realize how much
we would've won?
518
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,872
�75 for a �5 stake.
Still, you know best.
519
00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:51,920
Those were the odds,
were they, Basil?
520
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:53,400
Yes, that's right, dear.
14-1.
521
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:56,440
I listened in on the wireless
just to make sure it had triumphed.
522
00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:57,880
Enjoy your winnings,
Polly.
523
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:58,880
Thank you.
524
00:19:58,880 --> 00:19:59,880
Polly.
525
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:00,880
Yes, Mrs. Fawlty?
526
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,320
What was the name
of the horse?
527
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:04,520
The name?
528
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,600
Uh...
529
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:07,794
I've gone blank.
530
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,640
Birdbrain!
531
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:13,640
Birdbrain?
532
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:14,880
No, no, that came in third.
533
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,880
Uh...
534
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:17,880
Fishwife!
535
00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,880
- What?
- No...
536
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,880
No, not that.
Small...
537
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:24,598
Fly! Fly!
538
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:27,873
Flying Tart!
539
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:33,800
No, no, no,
it got off to a flying start,
540
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,320
and it's name...
541
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:37,360
was Dragonfly!
542
00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,874
Thank you, Polly.
543
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:46,920
If I find out the money
on that horse was yours,
544
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,751
you know what
I'll do, Basil.
545
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,598
You'll have to sew 'em
back on first.
546
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,960
- Ah, Major!
- 6:00, old boy.
547
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,080
Oh, so it is.
Uh, Major...
548
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:00,280
Can I offer you,
uh...
549
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:03,600
Oh, very decent of you.
Just a quick one.
550
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,760
Going to
a memorial service.
551
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:06,880
Ah.
552
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,880
Tie's a bit bright,
isn't it, Major?
553
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,760
- What?
- For a memorial service?
554
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:12,640
Oh, I didn't like
the chap.
555
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,960
One of those.
Know what I mean?
556
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,880
- Cheers.
- Uh, Major...
557
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,280
could you do me a favor?
558
00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,880
Well, I'm a bit short
myself, old boy.
559
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,200
No, no, could you look
after some money for me?
560
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,960
I won it on that horse.
Only Sybil's a bit suspicious, you see?
561
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:27,880
She goes through
my pockets some nights.
562
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:29,480
Oh, absolutely.
Which horse?
563
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:31,760
- Uh, Dragonfly.
- When's it running?
564
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,320
No, it ran today.
I won that on it.
565
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:34,800
Oh. Well done,
old boy.
566
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:35,880
No, could you keep it?
567
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:37,760
No, I couldn't do that,
very decent of you...
568
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:41,080
No, could you keep it just tonight?
It's Sybil, you see? Secret.
569
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:42,720
Ah, a present.
570
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,880
Sort of, yes.
Don't mention it.
571
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:45,920
Mum's the word.
572
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:47,840
I'll get it from you in
the morning and bank it.
573
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,720
Understood, old boy.
574
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:51,709
Cheers.
575
00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,040
There you are,
Mr. Mackintosh.
576
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:00,600
There you are,
Mr. Mackintosh.
577
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,880
Good morning,
Mr. Fawlty.
578
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:04,074
Good morning, ladies.
579
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,000
Hello.
Fawlty Towers.
580
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,920
Watt!
581
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:11,480
I didn't say anything.
582
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,440
Have you called
the police yet?
583
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,160
Excuse me, I'm trying
to take a telephone call.
584
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:16,440
Have you
called them yet?
585
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:17,960
Yes, yes, we have.
586
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:19,800
When are they going
to be here then?
587
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,360
As soon as possible.
They're very busy today.
588
00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:22,440
Busy. Humph!
589
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:26,400
Lot of bloodshed at the Nell Gwyn
Tea Rooms last night. Hello?
590
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:29,640
Certainly, yes.
Mrs. Richards?
591
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,240
Mrs. Richards!
592
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,240
Sorry.
593
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:33,360
Telephone for you.
594
00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:35,480
- Here.
- Yes?
595
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:36,480
What's this for?
596
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,960
- Uh, telephone calls?
- But I haven't made any.
597
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,560
- Uh... Cigarettes?
- I don't smoke.
598
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:42,680
There's nobody there.
599
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:43,680
Hello?
600
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:46,520
Yes, yes,
I know she is.
601
00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:48,760
Yes. It's your sister!
602
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:49,960
Well, what is it for?
603
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:51,520
Umm... Drinks?
604
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:52,840
Drinks? Me?
605
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:53,960
We've been cut off.
606
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,880
Hello?
Look, you tell me, and I'll tell her.
607
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,000
Even the phones
don't work.
608
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:04,560
Your sister says you've had an offer
of �87,000 for your house in Brighton.
609
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,560
87,000?
610
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:07,880
Give it to me.
611
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:09,880
Don't be a fool,
Stephanie.
612
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:14,360
92,750 I said, and I'm not taking
a penny less. You tell him that.
613
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:15,873
Why don't
people listen?
614
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:18,840
Well?
615
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:22,440
Well, let's scrub that 32p then, shall we?
Let's enjoy ourselves.
616
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:23,760
Oh, thank you
very much.
617
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,520
Oh, Major! Major!
Um, can I have it now?
618
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:28,520
- What, old boy?
- The money.
619
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:29,880
The money
I gave you last night?
620
00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:31,400
What... what is
all this about?
621
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:32,880
You remember
I gave you some money
622
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,880
just before you went
to that remembrance service?
623
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,440
- Remembrance service?
- Yes.
624
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:37,880
I don't remember that,
old boy.
625
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,000
It was for a chap
you didn't like.
626
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,920
You know, he was...
one of those?
627
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:42,960
One of those what?
628
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,880
Well...
629
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:45,880
Pansy?
630
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:46,880
Yes.
631
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:47,880
Which one?
632
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,400
No, no, no, no.
You were in your best suit.
633
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,440
Was I?
Oh, yes, of course!
634
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:54,040
I went to the theater,
of course!
635
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:55,040
- No, no...
- Yes, yes,
636
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,640
with Winnie Atwell,
yes.
637
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,320
Winnie Atwell?
638
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,200
Well, Marjorie Atwell
then, Marjorie.
639
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:03,160
I always call her Winnie because...
well, because she looks like Winnie.
640
00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:04,440
She's not black.
641
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:07,440
Black?
Churchill wasn't black.
642
00:24:07,440 --> 00:24:09,120
Look, look, look,
643
00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:11,800
I gave you �75.
You put it in there.
644
00:24:11,800 --> 00:24:13,880
What do you mean by telling me
you called the police?
645
00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,040
You've done
no such thing.
646
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,880
Your wife's just told me
you're still searching the rooms.
647
00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:18,880
Well, I thought
she'd called them.
648
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:20,320
You lying hound!
649
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,480
- Mrs. Richards...
- Go and call them now, immediately.
650
00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:24,800
Mrs. Richards, we will,
the moment we've searched...
651
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,480
Right. I shall
call them myself then.
652
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:27,680
Couldn't we just
wait until...
653
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,120
I've never seen
such a place!
654
00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:31,160
All right, Mrs. Richards.
655
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,040
Would you like to use
the office phone?
656
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,200
What?
657
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,760
In here. Thank you.
658
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:38,840
Basil!
659
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:40,880
Get the key
and check her room.
660
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:41,880
Right.
661
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:43,160
I found it, Fawlty!
662
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,560
It was in my pocket!
Yes, in my new suit!
663
00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:46,720
- Major, sh!
- In here, you see?
664
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,880
- Stuffed right down.
- Can I have it?
665
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:52,400
I don't know how it got there,
you, see, because I make a point
666
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,040
of keeping my money
in my hip pocket.
667
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:55,160
Yes, please! Please!
668
00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:56,600
- What, old boy?
- Can I have it?
669
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,160
Oh, yes, yes, the money.
Yes, yes, of course.
670
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:00,840
Good God, it's gone!
671
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:01,880
No, no, in there!
672
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:03,160
Basil?
673
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,080
- Here it is!
- What's that?
674
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:06,400
I found it,
Mrs. Fawlty.
675
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:07,400
The money.
676
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:09,600
Oh, that's marvelous!
Mrs. Richards!
677
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:10,680
What?
678
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,320
We found your money.
679
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:13,480
No!
680
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:15,080
The Major's
found your money.
681
00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:16,880
- No! N-nn...
- What?
682
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:18,440
Thank you so much, Major.
683
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,749
There you are.
I told you it would turn up.
684
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:23,880
What is it, Basil?
685
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,000
Bit of luck,
eh, Fawlty?
686
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,920
It's �10 short.
687
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:29,400
Oh, dear.
688
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,960
It's not!
689
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,520
�10 short?
690
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,320
Oh, my God!
691
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:38,720
Don't worry,
we'll have a whip round!
692
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:39,840
Basil, stop!
693
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:41,319
What's he doing now?
694
00:25:42,360 --> 00:25:44,760
What on earth do you
think you're doing?
695
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,640
I'll look for the missing �10
immediately, Mrs. Richards.
696
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:48,880
Where exactly did you
find it, Major?
697
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:49,880
In my pocket.
698
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:50,880
In your pocket?
699
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:52,760
Yeah, yeah.
Not this suit. In my new suit.
700
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,720
Would you mind if I popped up
and had a look?
701
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:55,880
No, no, not at all.
702
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,680
I'll see if I can find it.
Won't be a moment.
703
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,400
Uh, it's in with
the, um, the, uh...
704
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:01,920
Did you say it was
in your pocket?
705
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:02,920
Yes, yes.
706
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:04,480
What was it doing
in your pocket?
707
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:05,880
Can I explain?
708
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:07,711
You're not explaining anything.
You're completely loopy.
709
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:09,880
Mad as a March hare!
710
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,880
Yes, yes, I am.
Yes, I am completely loopy.
711
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,440
That's why I gave him
the money to look after.
712
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,240
You see, there's
been a mistake.
713
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,160
That money there
is in fact mine.
714
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,000
- Yours?
- Yes, as the Major will confirm,
715
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,000
you see, I was saving it up
for a present for my wife.
716
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,120
That's why I couldn't say
anything just now,
717
00:26:25,120 --> 00:26:26,720
but I gave it to the Major
last night...
718
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:28,320
What rubbish!
This is my money.
719
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:29,760
No, the Major will verify
what I've said.
720
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:30,760
Hmm?
721
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:32,840
- Could you verify that, Major?
- What, old boy?
722
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:34,600
Uhh... The money.
I gave you last night,
723
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,320
for my wife's present?
I gave it to you
724
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:38,080
just before you went
to the theater?
725
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:39,080
The theater?
726
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,800
Well... Yes.
You... you remember?
727
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:43,120
That money I won
on the horses!
728
00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:44,360
A horse?
729
00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:46,400
Why are you whispering?
What are you saying?
730
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:47,880
He says he won it
on a horse.
731
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:48,880
Won it on a horse?
732
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:52,880
Shh! It doesn't matter!
Do you remember me giving it to you?
733
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:54,680
Oh, think!
Please think!
734
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:56,520
What was
the question again?
735
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:58,520
Oh, the money,
the money! Do you...
736
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:00,280
Manuel! Manuel!
Manuel! Manuel!
737
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:03,040
You remember I had
some money yesterday?
738
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:04,680
The money I won
on the horse?
739
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:05,800
Oh, s�.
740
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,240
Tell Mrs. Richards.
Tell her I had the money yesterday.
741
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:09,880
Ahem-hem!
742
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:11,393
I know nothing.
743
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:13,960
What?
744
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:14,960
What?!
745
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:16,320
I know nothing.
746
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:17,560
- No, no...
- Nothing.
747
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:18,920
No, no, forget that!
748
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:20,880
I forget everything.
I know nothing.
749
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,880
- You can tell her!
- No, I cannot.
750
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:23,880
Yes, yes, tell her!
751
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,080
Tell her.
Please! Please!
752
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:26,520
Tell her. Tell her!
753
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,120
Tell her!
Tell her, or I'll kill you!
754
00:27:28,120 --> 00:27:29,800
Oh. Ha ha!
755
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:31,870
No, I know nothing.
756
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:34,632
I am from Barcelona.
757
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:37,800
I'm not listening
to any more of this rubbish!
758
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,320
I'm going to finish
my breakfast,
759
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:42,280
and when I come back,
I want the rest of my money.
760
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,080
Give it to her, Basil.
761
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,275
I can't find it.
Give her 10 from the till.
762
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:50,593
Right!
763
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:00,960
What are you doing?
764
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,560
I'm going to give her
the shirt off my back, too!
765
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:05,080
You see?
I know nothing.
766
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,514
I'm gonna send you
to a vivisectionist.
767
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:09,240
Now...
768
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,549
Now...
769
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,880
Good afternoon,
Mr. Fawlty.
770
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:28,880
Good afternoon.
771
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,110
You got a Mrs. Richards
staying here?
772
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:36,280
Yes.
773
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:38,080
Oh. Ah, well,
774
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:39,840
only she bought this
yesterday,
775
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:41,400
asked us
to deliver it.
776
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,600
The thing is, she left
some money behind.
777
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:45,880
Keeps it in this.
778
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:47,920
95 quid. Look.
779
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,320
The cleaner found it
this morning.
780
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,880
Almost threw it in the bin.
Lucky, eh?
781
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:53,949
Is she around?
782
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:57,200
Nope.
783
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:58,560
I'll give it to her.
784
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:00,880
Oh. Thanks,
Mr. Fawlty.
785
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:02,199
Goodbye.
786
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:11,997
Mm-mwah!
787
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:15,480
We found her money!
788
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:16,480
Where?
789
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,391
She... it doesn't matter.
790
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,400
I'm �10 up on the deal!
791
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:22,480
�10 up?
792
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,320
Yes, it's 95...
even if I give her 10,
793
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:25,560
I'm still 10 up!
794
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:27,880
Polly, for the first time
in my life, I'm ahead!
795
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:28,869
I'm winning!
796
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,880
Hello, Mrs. Richards.
How lovely to see you.
797
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,520
Your beautiful vase
that you bought yesterday
798
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:39,520
has just arrived.
Now, remind me,
799
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:41,880
the money that you have there,
is it yours or mine?
800
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:43,600
I told you.
It's mine.
801
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:44,720
You're absolutely sure?
802
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:45,880
Yes, I am.
803
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,640
- But you're still �10 short?
- Yes.
804
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:51,632
Polly, give Mrs. Richards this,
would you?
805
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:54,880
What's that?
806
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:56,871
This is mine.
807
00:29:58,000 --> 00:29:59,558
What's that, Basil?
808
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:02,920
It's mine.
809
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:03,960
What?
810
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:05,880
It's the money I won
on the horse.
811
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:09,316
Oh, yes, right. Polly asked me
to put it in the safe for her.
812
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:16,880
So, that's all sorted out,
and this is your money, Polly.
813
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,880
And this is your beautiful vase,
Mrs. Richards.
814
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:22,120
Fawlty!
You did give me that money!
815
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,200
You won it on that horse!
816
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:25,872
Aah!
817
00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,880
That cost �75!
818
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:35,000
Oh, I am sorry,
Mrs. Richards.
819
00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:36,991
We must pay you back.
There you are. One...
0
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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