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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:25,994 Come on. 2 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:28,880 Is it so difficult for you to start? 3 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:30,120 It's so basic. If you don't go, 4 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,475 there's little point in having you. 5 00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:52,360 Just pull yourself together, all right? 6 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:53,759 Make an effort. 7 00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:59,880 - Now, look. - Mr. Fawlty. 8 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:01,880 Mr. Fawlty, Mr. Fawlty. 9 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:03,040 Uh, telephone. 10 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:04,840 - What? - Telephone. 11 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:06,600 Telephone. 12 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,120 Where's Sybil? 13 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:09,480 �Qu�? 14 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:11,680 Where's Sy-bil? 15 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:12,880 Uh... 16 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,240 "Where's... 17 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,240 the bill"? 18 00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:16,680 No, no, no. Not the bill, 19 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:18,280 I own the place, I don't pay bills. 20 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:19,440 Where's my wife? 21 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:20,960 She not here. 22 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,188 She is there! 23 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,080 Oh, never mind. Never mind. 24 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:28,880 Right, leave it to me, I'll do it. 25 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,840 I'll mend the car, I'll answer the telephone. 26 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,880 Then you can chain me up, and I'll wash the windows. 27 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,200 - In here, in here. - Yes, I know! 28 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,360 - This way. - Yes, yes! 29 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:39,590 I know it's this way. I own the place. 30 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:43,120 Hello, Fawlty Towers. 31 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,760 Oh, Andre! Thank you for calling. 32 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:48,600 Kurt's marvelous. 33 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,560 We're absolutely delighted with him. 34 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:52,080 Really, Andre, he's wonderful! 35 00:01:52,080 --> 00:01:53,400 This, Basil's wife... 36 00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:54,440 This, Basil... 37 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,590 This, smack on head. 38 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,640 Just one moment, Andre. 39 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:02,680 - Basil? - Yes, dear? 40 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:04,240 Have you taken the car in yet? 41 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:05,480 Yes, I'm dealing with it, dear. 42 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,280 You're not trying to do it yourself? 43 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:08,880 Oh, have you seen this mark, dear? 44 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:09,880 Did you hear what I said? 45 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,600 Yes, I did. Bit of a scratch. 46 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,680 Take it into the garage. 47 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:15,400 Yes, just having a look at it, dear. 48 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:16,880 Sorry, Andre. Where was I? 49 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:20,240 Yes, he's the best chef we've ever had. 50 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,880 We can't thank you enough for finding him for us. 51 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:27,040 Look, can you come have dinner on Sunday? 52 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,520 There's something we want to ask your advice about. 53 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,876 Okay, lovely. See you then, then. 54 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:36,400 Hello, Polly. 55 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:37,880 Will you come and have a drink, Mrs. Fawlty? 56 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:39,120 I've just sold a sketch. 57 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:40,960 Really? I'd love to. 58 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,880 - Hello. - Hello. 59 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,680 Kurt, Andre can come on Sunday. 60 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:47,480 I thought you were taking the car in? 61 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,280 - Are you at those again? - Just took one, dear. 62 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:50,920 You've had enough of those, Basil. 63 00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:52,440 Will you deal with the car, please? 64 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,680 - Good, Mr. Fawlty? - Superb, Kurt. 65 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,520 - For you, Mr. Fawlty? - Thank you, Polly. 66 00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:58,880 Are you going to do the car? 67 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,640 In a moment, my little piranha fish. 68 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:03,880 - What's this for? - I've just sold a sketch. 69 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:05,160 What, for money? 70 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,240 I bought it, Mr. Fawlty. She's very talented. 71 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:09,240 Oh, no, Polly. I won't. 72 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:10,320 - Oh, come on. - No, thank you. 73 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,880 I brought it to thank you. 74 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,800 - No, honestly. - Don't you like it? 75 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,960 Too much, but not when I'm working. 76 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,560 You drink it for me, Manuel. 77 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,960 - Well, cheerio! - Cheerio, Basil. 78 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,040 Well, that smelled nice. 79 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,240 Here it is, Mr. Fawlty. 80 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:24,880 She's really got something, you know. 81 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,760 - Really? - Worth 50p, anyway. 82 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,080 Yes, do you win a bun 83 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:30,360 if you guess what it is, or something? 84 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:32,160 - It's Manuel. - What?! 85 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,360 - It's me. - Where?! 86 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:36,880 Manuel is my friend. We're good friends, eh? 87 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:37,880 Oh, s�. 88 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:39,560 Yes. Very modern, very socialist. 89 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:42,480 Something to remember him by, when he goes. 90 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,720 You still here, Basil? 91 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,120 No, I went a couple of minutes ago, dear. 92 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:46,880 But I expect I'll be back shortly. 93 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,840 Oh, no, no, Manuel! 94 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:51,600 Look! Like this. 95 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,920 Oh, I like that. Will you do me one? 96 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:55,120 Really? Of Manuel? 97 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,480 Yes. Look nice on Basil's bedside table. 98 00:03:57,480 --> 00:03:58,640 Two in a day. 99 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,480 That's as many as Van Gogh sold in a lifetime. 100 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:04,553 But he didn't have Manuel as a model, eh? 101 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,120 Mm, this is wonderful. 102 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,320 I told you, he's one of the best. 103 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:30,880 He's almost as good as you, Andre. 104 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,920 He's absolutely divine, Basil. 105 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:34,040 Go on, have a bit. 106 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,440 Mm. 'Tis good, isn't it? 107 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:36,440 Oh, listen to him. 108 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,160 The only place I've ever seen him eat 109 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:39,520 is your restaurant, Andre. 110 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,040 Now he's stuffing it away like a hamster. 111 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:42,040 Really, Sybil. 112 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,840 We're going to buy him a great big wheel 113 00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:45,040 to run around in when he's got a moment, 114 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:48,600 or he'll get like a big bad-tempered tomato. 115 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:49,760 I believe we were discussing 116 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,880 the gourmet evening, dear. 117 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,040 Do you know, Andre... 118 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,320 he burst his zipper this morning. 119 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:55,878 Oh! 120 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,800 What's the matter, darling? 121 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:00,080 You're embarrassing Andre! 122 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,600 No, I'm embarrassing you. Look at that! 123 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:04,240 I'd better go have a word with the guests. 124 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:06,549 Why don't you have another vat of wine, dear? 125 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,760 Good evening, Major. Enjoying your soup? 126 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,960 Tasted a bit off to me, Fawlty. 127 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,040 It's made with fresh mushrooms, Major. 128 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,871 Ah! That would explain it. 129 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,600 Good evening. 130 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:21,960 Everything to your satisfaction? 131 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:23,400 - Yes, thank... - Well, uh... 132 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,600 - I don't like the chips. - Sorry? 133 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:26,880 The chips are awful. 134 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,480 Oh, dear. What's wrong with them then? 135 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,880 They're the wrong shape, and they're just awful. 136 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,360 He gets everything cooked the way he likes it at home. 137 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:34,880 Ah, does he? 138 00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,360 Yes, and it's better than this pig's garbage. 139 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:38,680 Now, Ronald! 140 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,040 These eggs look like you laid them. 141 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,520 Ronald! 142 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:43,200 N-now, l-look here, old chap. 143 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,160 Shut up! Leave him alone! 144 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,520 He's very clever, rather highly strung. 145 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:49,040 Yes, yes, he should be. 146 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,280 Haven't you any proper chips? 147 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:53,040 These are proper french fried potatoes. 148 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,600 The chef is continental. 149 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:56,080 Couldn't you get an English one? 150 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,200 Why don't you eat one or two, dear? 151 00:05:58,200 --> 00:05:59,400 They're the wrong shape. 152 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,480 What shape do you usually have? 153 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:03,360 Mickey Mouse shape? Smarties shape? 154 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:05,880 Amphibious landing craft shape? 155 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,400 Poke in the eye shape? 156 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:10,040 - God, you're dumb. - Oh, now! 157 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,840 Is there something we can get you instead, Sonny? 158 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,240 I'd like some bread and salad cream. 159 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,240 To eat? 160 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:17,760 Well, there's the bread, 161 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,120 and there's the mayonnaise. 162 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,040 I said, "Salad cream," stupid. 163 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,800 We don't have any salad cream. 164 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,400 The chef made this freshly this morning. 165 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:26,880 What a dump. 166 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,760 This is very good. 167 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:29,880 He likes salad cream. 168 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:31,280 That's puke, that is. 169 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:32,760 At least, it's fresh puke. 170 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:34,640 - Oh, dear! - Well, he said it. 171 00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:37,880 May I ask why you don't have proper salad cream? 172 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:39,080 Most restaurants... 173 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:41,440 Well, the chef usually buys it only on special occasions, 174 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,240 you know, gourmet nights, and so on. 175 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,280 But when he's got a bottle, ah! 176 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,000 He's a genius with it. 177 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,400 He can unscrew the cap like Robert Carrier. 178 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,440 It's a treat to watch. And then... 179 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:52,880 Right on the plate! 180 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:53,960 Never on the walls! Magic! 181 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:55,840 Mind you, he's a wizard with the tin opener, too. 182 00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:56,920 He's got a Pulitzer Prize for that. 183 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,600 He can have the stuff in the saucepan 184 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:00,880 before you can say, "Haute cuisine." 185 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,880 You name it, he'll heat it up 186 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,360 and scrape it off the pan for you. 187 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,440 Skill like that isn't picked up overnight. 188 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,040 Still, I'll tell him to get some salad cream. 189 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:09,800 You never know when Henry Kissinger 190 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,440 is going to drop in, do you? 191 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,670 - Ow! - Oh, sorry! 192 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,520 N-n-nice man. 193 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,520 No, no, seriously. 194 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,880 I think it's a very good idea. 195 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:20,520 - You do, really? - I promise you. 196 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,120 People around here are getting 197 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:23,640 more and more keen on good food. 198 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:24,880 Well, so much for tonight's guests. 199 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:26,000 Ignorant rabble. 200 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,800 There's always a few, Mr. Fawlty. 201 00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,120 Not on gourmet night, there won't be. 202 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:30,520 - None of these proles. - Basil! 203 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:31,720 Well! 204 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,520 Andre thinks Thursday nights would be best. 205 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:34,800 - "Thursdays?" - Mm-hmm. 206 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:35,800 I think so. 207 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:36,800 And on all the other nights 208 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,320 we'll just have a big trough of baked beans 209 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:40,788 and garnish it with a couple of dead dogs. 210 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,000 That's settled then. 211 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,640 Good. I'm very pleased for Kurt, too. 212 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:48,600 It'll be good for him to have something special to do. 213 00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,760 I'd like to have a word with him, do you mind? 214 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:51,880 Of course not. 215 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,440 I'll get the menus printed on Monday. 216 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,520 Polly can do the menus. 217 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:55,520 - No, she can't. - Yes, she can. 218 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:56,680 - No, she can't. - Yes, she can. 219 00:07:56,680 --> 00:07:57,669 - No, she can't. - Yes, she can. 220 00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:59,480 Yes, she can! 221 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,880 You can write the advertisement in the echo. 222 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:03,960 Only, don't make it too toffee-nosed, Basil. 223 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,280 We don't want to put people off. 224 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:06,760 I just want to keep the riffraff away, dear. 225 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:08,520 Well, good luck, my friend. 226 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,040 It's good to have you down here. 227 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:11,160 Thank you for... 228 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:12,840 - Well, you know. - Don't mention it. 229 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,880 Nice to have met you, Manuel. 230 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:16,040 He's my friend. 231 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:17,920 One night I cook you both paella. 232 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,880 Okay. And Kurt... hmm! 233 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:20,880 You don't trust me? 234 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,029 Ciao. 235 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:24,880 Manuel, together you and I make 236 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,880 Fawlty Towers famous for its cooking. 237 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:27,880 �Qu�? 238 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,120 Excellent, tip-top, famoso! 239 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,395 Oh, you're are so cute. 240 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:36,672 - Manuel. - Oh! 241 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,880 Get a clean one. 242 00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,438 Is clean now. 243 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,037 Is dirty now. 244 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:51,360 Do you like the menu, Mr. Fawlty? 245 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:52,360 No, I don't. 246 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:53,680 - Oh, good. - What? 247 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:54,954 Thank you. Thank you so much. 248 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,320 Give it to me. Give it to me. 249 00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,878 Thank you. 250 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,720 Well, Basil, guess who just called 251 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,880 to cancel at 12 minutes past 7:00. 252 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:07,120 - Who? - The Coosters. 253 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:08,880 What, all four? 254 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:09,880 Marvelous, isn't it? 255 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,880 Ach! What did they say? 256 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:12,880 One of them's ill. 257 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:15,280 Well, let's hope it's nothing trivial. 258 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,120 Do you realize there are four people 259 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:18,880 at our grand opening dinner? 260 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,560 - Never mind. - "Never mind?" 261 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:22,880 There's four people, Basil. 262 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,240 Shall we feed them in the kitchen? 263 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:25,800 But think who those four are. 264 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:27,880 Colonel and Mrs. Hall, both JPS; 265 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:29,240 and Lionel Twitchen, 266 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:31,440 one of Torquay's leading Rotarians. 267 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:32,840 That'll put us on the map. 268 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:34,080 He's this year's treasurer, dear. 269 00:09:34,080 --> 00:09:36,320 I should have never let you write that advert. 270 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,360 Fancy putting, "No Riffraff." 271 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,560 When you're presenting haute cuisine, 272 00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:43,160 you don't want the working class sticking its nose in it. 273 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,240 Everything all right? Where's Kurt? 274 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,920 He and Manuel are getting the wine from the cellar. 275 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,640 Ah, this is what it's all about. 276 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:50,880 You two! 277 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,560 You're supposed to be in your rooms! 278 00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:54,400 You're not allowed down here tonight. Remember? 279 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,080 Ooh, doesn't it look pretty? 280 00:09:56,080 --> 00:09:57,480 What are you cooking? 281 00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:58,920 I'll send you up a menu with your bread and cheese. 282 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:00,480 Now get out! 283 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,080 Basil, they're here. 284 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:03,840 - What? - The Halls are here. 285 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,080 - Go to your rooms! - The Halls! 286 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,880 Mr. Fawlty! 287 00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:10,120 Mr. Fawlty! I very upset! 288 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,680 Not now, Manuel. Later! 289 00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:16,280 Well, when I went for my jog this morning, 290 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,520 I thought it was going to be pretty warm. 291 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,000 But in the event, of course, 292 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,240 it turned out to be... 293 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,040 pretty cool, really. 294 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,480 Uh, then it began to cloud up this afternoon... 295 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:29,840 quite contrary to the weather forecast, naturally. 296 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,240 And I shouldn't be a bit surprised 297 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,680 if we get a spot of rain tonight. 298 00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:35,920 Still, it's been a lovely summer, hasn't it? 299 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:37,680 - Oh, yes. - Ah, colonel! 300 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:39,360 How delightful to see you again. 301 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:40,360 Sorry? 302 00:10:40,360 --> 00:10:41,760 How delightful to see you again. 303 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:43,880 We met last year at the golf club dinner dance, 304 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:44,920 you may remember. 305 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:46,080 No, I don't. 306 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:48,760 Ah, fine, we didn't talk for long. 307 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:50,160 Just good evening, really, you know. 308 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:51,920 A blink of the eye and you would've missed it. 309 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:53,320 As indeed you did... 310 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,120 Quite understandably. 311 00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:57,880 Sorry? What? 312 00:10:57,880 --> 00:10:59,080 Hmm? 313 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:00,560 Well, uh... 314 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,880 How's that lovely daughter of yours? 315 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:04,280 She's dead. 316 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,480 I like your suit... isn't that super, 317 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,160 the way those stripes go up and down? 318 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:09,200 It's really super! 319 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,520 How much did that cost then? 320 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:11,800 Who are you?! 321 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,791 I mean, I don't know your name! 322 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:17,440 What is it? 323 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,840 - What? - My name. 324 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,560 Oh, this is my husband, Basil Fawlty. 325 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:23,560 - That's it! - What? 326 00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:24,760 - How do you do? - How do you do? 327 00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,040 And may I introduce my wife? 328 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:27,680 She just introduced you. 329 00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:28,680 Oh, what a coincidence. 330 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:29,840 Yes. 331 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,560 Well, I don't believe you know my wife. 332 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,120 Dead? Yes. 333 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:34,872 May I introduce Mrs. Hall? 334 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,240 Oh, sorry! 335 00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,231 Didn't see you down there. Don't get up. 336 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,000 What would you like to drink, 337 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,120 Mrs. Small... hall! 338 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,440 Yes, a short, 339 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:50,873 or, or... 340 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:53,520 Sherry! How about a Sherry? 341 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:54,520 A Sherry, lovely. 342 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:55,760 Oh, good. Large, or... or... 343 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:57,880 or not quite so large? 344 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,440 Two, small and dry. 345 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:01,880 Oh, I wouldn't say that. 346 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:03,000 What? 347 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,000 I don't know. 348 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,040 Two small, dry sherries. 349 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:07,120 Oh, I see what you mean. 350 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,120 I'm sorry! 351 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,160 Ah, Mr. And Mrs. Twitchen, good evening. 352 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:12,880 Welcome to Fawlty Towers. 353 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:13,880 Good evening. 354 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,440 How very au fait of you 355 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:17,680 to come to our little culinary soiree this evening. 356 00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:20,640 Only too glad to support something new in Torquay. 357 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,040 Such an unusual idea. 358 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,280 I do hope it works out. 359 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:24,280 Well, we have our hopes. 360 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:25,520 - Mr. Fawlty? - Ah, Polly! 361 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,800 Would you take Mrs. Twitchen's coat, please? 362 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,080 - Yes, of course. - Thank you so much. 363 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,080 Now, would you care to... 364 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,120 - Mr. Fawlty? - Yes? 365 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:32,120 Can I have a word with you? 366 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:33,840 Uh, yes. Oh, this is Polly. 367 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,880 She will be serving you later this evening. 368 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,160 - Uh... - Well? 369 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,600 It's Kurt. 370 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:39,680 Yes? 371 00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:42,080 He's potted... 372 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:43,080 the shrimps. 373 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:44,080 What? 374 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,040 He's potted the shrimps. 375 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:49,120 "Shrimps"? We're not having shrimps tonight, Polly. 376 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:50,120 Now... 377 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:51,920 He's sauced! 378 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:52,960 ...the herrings. 379 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,880 What are you talking about? 380 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,320 He's pickled the onions, 381 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:00,440 and he's smashed the eggs in his cups... 382 00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:02,480 ...under the table. 383 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,520 Excuse me. 384 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:05,880 Have you been drinking? 385 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:08,600 - No, not me! - Will you behave yourself! 386 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,880 I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting. 387 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,200 Uh, would you care for a... 388 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:13,240 Will you stop that?! 389 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,880 Please pull yourself together! 390 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:17,872 Now may I offer you a little aperitif before... 391 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:20,520 Sorry, a bit of cotton. 392 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,240 May I offer you a little aperitif 393 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,880 while you make up your mind 394 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:24,920 what you'd like for dinner? 395 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,360 That's very kind of you. Lotte? 396 00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:27,880 A tomato juice, please. 397 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:28,880 Mr. Twitchen? 398 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,040 Tomato juice for me, thank you. 399 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:31,440 Ah, good! Oh, Colonel. 400 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,880 Colonel and Mrs. Hall... 401 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,880 may I introduce Mr. And Mrs... 402 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:37,869 Tw... 403 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,080 Have you met? 404 00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:43,080 No, no, we haven't. 405 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:44,320 - Have you? - No. 406 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,160 Oh, good. What would you like to drink then? 407 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:47,360 - What? - To drink. 408 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,120 I didn't catch the name. 409 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,120 Oh, you didn't it catch it. 410 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:51,200 What a rotten bit of luck. 411 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,120 - Well? - Fine, thank you. And you? 412 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:55,240 No, no, we still don't know the name. 413 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:56,280 Oh, Fawlty, Basil Fawlty. 414 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:57,880 No, no, theirs! 415 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,120 Oh, theirs! So sorry! 416 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,720 I thought meant yours! 417 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,720 My, it's nice and warm, isn't it? 418 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:04,920 I could do with a drink, too. So, another Sherry? 419 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,600 Well, aren't you going to introduce us? 420 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:07,760 - Didn't I? - No! 421 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,751 Oh. This is Mr. And Mrs... 422 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:11,880 What? 423 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:12,880 Uh, Mister... 424 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,233 and Missus... 425 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:20,119 Sorry, I fainted. 426 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:22,520 Well, I feel better now. 427 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,520 I'll just get all your tomato juices. 428 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:25,880 Twychen, actually. 429 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,160 Hall. Would you care to join us? 430 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:28,720 Thank you so much. 431 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,400 - Here we are. - Thank you, sir. 432 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,197 Would you like to see the menu? 433 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:33,920 Yes, what is it? 434 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,280 Please, put the bottle down. 435 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,040 - What do you want? - Please put the bottle down! 436 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,160 What is it?! 437 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:39,957 Kurt is drunk. 438 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:44,720 Sorry! Sorry. 439 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,760 "Drunk"? 440 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,600 Almost unconscious. 441 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:49,953 Right. 442 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,200 Sorry! Sorry! 443 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:57,880 How? 444 00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,400 I don't know. It happened so quickly. 445 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,400 - He had a row with Manuel. - Manuel? 446 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,520 He's got a crush on him. 447 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:03,520 - A what?! - A crush. 448 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:04,509 You know, in love. 449 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:06,920 Sorry. 450 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:08,880 Um, would you excuse me for a moment? 451 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,400 I won't be one moment. 452 00:15:10,400 --> 00:15:11,720 I knew it! 453 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:12,920 I should have never hired a Frenchman. 454 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:14,280 He's Greek, Mr. Fawlty. 455 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:16,440 Well, that's even worse. I mean, they invented it. 456 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:17,920 Right! 457 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:20,000 Give that to me, Kurt. 458 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,160 Give me that bottle. 459 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,880 No, go away! Leave me alone. 460 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:24,160 Come on. Give it to me. 461 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:25,149 Manuel! 462 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:30,080 Come on, Kurt. 463 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,360 Manuel! He doesn't love me! 464 00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:34,160 Well, you have to give these things time. 465 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,080 I want Manuel! 466 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:37,400 I'm sure we can arrange something. 467 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:38,480 Now can I have the bottle? 468 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,960 - He's so sweet. - Yes, he is sweet. 469 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:42,360 He's wonderful! 470 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:43,600 Yes! I know! 471 00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:44,635 Damn you! 472 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,240 Kurt? Come on. 473 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:54,240 Come on! 474 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:55,680 Get some black coffee, quick! 475 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:56,880 He can't drink it. He's out. 476 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,440 No, he isn't. He's only drank half a bottle! 477 00:15:58,440 --> 00:15:59,720 Come on, come on, Kurt! 478 00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:01,600 Come on! Come on, Kurt! 479 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:02,794 Come on. 480 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,880 Now listen to me, Kurty! 481 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,480 I come in now, but no cuddle. 482 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:09,469 You hear me?! 483 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:11,920 Look at what you've done. 484 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,200 - Dead? - To the world. 485 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:14,200 He's only drunk, Manuel. 486 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:15,440 - This is your fault! - Qu�? 487 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:16,880 You only had to be civil to him. 488 00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:18,240 - "Civil"? - Nice! 489 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,200 You no understand. Is not enough. 490 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:21,560 He want to kiss me. 491 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:23,200 Oh, what's one little... 492 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,480 Mr. Fawlty! Call Andre. 493 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:25,680 He can do the cooking. 494 00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,720 He's open tonight! He's open on a Thursday, 495 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:28,720 you cloth-eared bint! 496 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:29,880 But he can do it there. 497 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:31,279 You can pick it up in the car. 498 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:34,959 Brilliant! 499 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,600 Right! 500 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,920 I can't resist lobster. 501 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:41,880 No. Tournedos for me every time. 502 00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,520 Would you care for another drink? 503 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:44,800 No, I don't think we will. 504 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:45,800 We're nearly ready to order. 505 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:47,400 I'll be back in a moment. 506 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:48,880 So, you can't do the lobster? 507 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:49,880 Right, right, I see, 508 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:51,400 but, Andre, the tournedos... 509 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:53,880 Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 510 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:54,960 - Basil! - Shh! Shh! 511 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:56,400 Yes, of course I want the duck. 512 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,480 That's marvelous, but can you do one or two sauces? 513 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:01,840 Wonderful! That's it! Thank you, Andre! 514 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,040 Why are you talking to Andre? 515 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:04,040 What is it? What is it? 516 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:05,840 They're ready to order, Basil. 517 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:06,840 - Stall them. - What? 518 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:07,960 Stall them, you stupid woman! 519 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,040 Tell them some lie. 520 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,240 - What's happening? - Shh! 521 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:12,320 Will you just tell me what you're doing? 522 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:13,880 We've got to change the menu. 523 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:16,155 Why? Why? 524 00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:18,520 - Why? - Listen, he's out there! 525 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:20,360 He's flat out! So, Andre's... 526 00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:21,360 Who is? 527 00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:23,040 - What?! - Who is "out?" 528 00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:26,040 Kurt! Who did you think, Henry Kissinger? 529 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,240 - What do you mean out? - He's drunk! 530 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:29,360 - "Drunk?" - Drunk! 531 00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:32,120 Soused, potted, inebriated, got it?! 532 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,080 - I don't believe it. - Neither do I. 533 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,036 Perhaps it's a dream. 534 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:40,640 No, it's not a dream. We're stuck with it. Right! 535 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,040 Andre's doing the cooking, I'll collect it in the car. 536 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:44,040 What's he cooking? 537 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,040 Duck! 538 00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:46,040 - "Duck?" - Duck! 539 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,031 - "Duck?" - You know, duck. 540 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:57,360 I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting. 541 00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,400 Well, we'd like to order now. 542 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:00,840 Uh, yes, quite. 543 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,080 My wife would like the lobster as her main... 544 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,320 Yes, excuse me... 545 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:06,440 there is one small thing. 546 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:08,360 I'm afraid you were given the wrong menus. 547 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:10,351 Uh, this is tonight's menu. 548 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:12,600 What? 549 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:13,880 Uh, yes, I'm afraid 550 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,880 the chef changed his mind, and forgot to tell us. 551 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:17,920 He's like that. Brilliant, but temperamental. 552 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,400 - He's changed everything. - I'm afraid so. 553 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,880 It wasn't good enough, so he just chucked it away. 554 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:23,880 He's such a perfectionist. 555 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:25,160 - The lobster? - Lobster, 556 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:26,880 tournedos, you name it, it's in the bin. 557 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:27,880 How extraordinary. 558 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,320 Lucky old bin, I say. 559 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,080 This is your new menu. 560 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:32,920 Duck with orange. 561 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,512 Duck with cherries. 562 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:37,640 Duck surprise? 563 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:39,520 What's duck surprise? 564 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,432 Uh, that's duck without orange or cherries. 565 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,400 Is this all there is? Duck? 566 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,880 Um, yes. 567 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,440 Done, of course, the three extremely different ways. 568 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,880 And what do you do if you don't like duck? 569 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,880 If you don't like duck... 570 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,791 Uh, you're rather stuck. 571 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:59,080 Well, fortunately, I love it! 572 00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:01,360 Oh, good, so that's four ducks, is it? 573 00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:02,839 You were right. 574 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,360 Now, he's getting this duck from Andre. 575 00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:08,720 Yes, but I don't know what vegetables he's put on. 576 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:09,880 Three salmon mousses, Polly. 577 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,880 And one mullet with mustard sauce for Mrs. Hall. 578 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,040 Where's the mullet? 579 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:15,040 There! 580 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:16,080 Oh, right. 581 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:17,680 What are you doing about vegetables, Basil? 582 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:18,880 Same as the other menu, dear. 583 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,560 - Andre's not doing any? - No, no! You and Polly! 584 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,760 - Um, mustard sauce! - Mustard sauce, here. 585 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,520 When I'm out in the car, you get them ready, right? 586 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:27,520 - Right. - Ready, Polly? 587 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:28,520 Ready. 588 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:29,640 - Manuel? - S�? 589 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:30,880 Two of those for table nine, and one of those, 590 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:33,474 and that one's for table four. Come on! 591 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:34,869 S�. 592 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:38,516 - Ah. - There you are. 593 00:19:39,520 --> 00:19:41,520 - There you go. - No, the other way around. 594 00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:43,160 - �Qu�? - The other way around. 595 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:44,149 Oh. Please! 596 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:46,800 No, no, no! The plates! 597 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:47,880 Change the plates. 598 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,600 Oh, is dirty. I change. 599 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,079 Come here! 600 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,000 Change the plates. 601 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,230 "Change the plates." 602 00:19:57,920 --> 00:19:59,920 Pardon. 603 00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:01,720 S�, I tell them. 604 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:02,880 Sorry. Sorry. 605 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:03,869 Is wrong. 606 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:07,880 Ow! 607 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,880 I'm so sorry, he's from Barcelona. 608 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,320 Do forgive me. 609 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:13,878 I don't know what he sees in you! 610 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,200 Do you think we could have a drink, dear? 611 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,080 May I see the wine list, please, Fawlty? 612 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,360 Certainly, Major... 613 00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:27,040 Colonel! 614 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,200 Everything all right? 615 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:30,320 Yes, I expect so. 616 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:31,680 Oh, good. Mrs. Twitchen? 617 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,000 Yes, it's fine, Mr. Fawlty. 618 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,000 Good. Good. 619 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,800 He's got it in his hair. 620 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,440 How is it, dear? 621 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,200 Rather good, surprisingly. 622 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,440 Well, there's the wine list. 623 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,873 Thank you very much. 624 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:45,880 What is it, petal? What's the matter? 625 00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:47,040 Is everything all right? 626 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,400 Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick! 627 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,709 It is an unusual taste, isn't it? 628 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,880 It's not cooked, you ignoramus! 629 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,440 What are you trying to do to us, Fawlty? 630 00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:58,480 Do you mean that's raw? 631 00:20:58,480 --> 00:20:59,880 Oh, would you prefer a cooked one? 632 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,240 Of course she'd prefer a cooked one! 633 00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:02,520 I'll get you a cooked one then. 634 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:03,520 It'll be even nicer! 635 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:04,880 No! No! 636 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,760 This is raw! This mullet is raw! 637 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:07,880 What do we do to it? 638 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:08,880 Kurt! Kurt! 639 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:09,880 Kurt, listen... 640 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:11,880 what do we do with this, hmm? 641 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:15,360 Do we grill it? If we grill it, just go, "uh." 642 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,920 All right, do we fry it? Just go, "uh." 643 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:21,880 Going well, isn't it? 644 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,240 Basil, will you just get out? 645 00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:24,229 Right! 646 00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:26,800 - Wine! - What? 647 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,080 The colonel wants some wine. 648 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,957 No, you go, Polly. He won't hit a woman. 649 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:34,880 Have you, uh... 650 00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:36,320 Have you chosen yet, major? 651 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:37,360 Colonel! 652 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,520 Have you chosen your wine? 653 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:40,880 Oh, yes. Chablis, please. 654 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:41,880 Thank you. 655 00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,279 - Waitress? - Yes. 656 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,511 There's a hair in my mousse. 657 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,960 Well, don't talk too loud. 658 00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:50,560 Everybody will want one. 659 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:51,640 What?! 660 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:52,868 Sorry. 661 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,080 Oh, get out of the way. 662 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:03,640 Get out. 663 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,720 I'm so sorry about that. 664 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,278 The mullet's on its way. 665 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,120 - Andre. - Ah, Monsieur Fawlty. 666 00:22:21,120 --> 00:22:23,120 There you are, a beautiful duck for you. 667 00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:24,880 It should be, mmm, delicious. 668 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:25,869 Top! 669 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:28,600 He's always asleep. 670 00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:29,600 There you are. 671 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,000 Don't forget the sauces. 672 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,120 - There. - Thank you. 673 00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:33,560 - All right. - Oh, marvelous. 674 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,520 I hope it all goes very well for you. 675 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:36,509 Good luck. 676 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:52,869 Come on! 677 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:56,920 What, no good? 678 00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,600 No, it's very good. 679 00:22:58,600 --> 00:22:59,589 Oh. 680 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:26,000 Here it is, Polly. 681 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,040 Right, I'll carve it on the trolley. 682 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:30,320 And... well done. Well done, everybody. 683 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:31,880 Ah, Manuel, get the trolley ready. 684 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:33,280 Right, right, let's go. 685 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:34,280 Basil! 686 00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:35,880 Aah! 687 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,480 Look what you've done, you stupid great tart! 688 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:39,480 Wait a minute. 689 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:40,480 I think it'll be all right. 690 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,516 Yes. Yes, you're right! 691 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:47,869 Look! 692 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,000 Look at it! 693 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,320 I mean, look at that! 694 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:52,640 Can I help, dear? 695 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,440 Yes! Go and kill yourself! 696 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:55,880 No, talk to Andre first! 697 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:57,871 Tell him we need another one! 698 00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:00,240 - Oh, go talk to them... - What? 699 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,880 Entertain them, or something. 700 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:03,800 Andre, it's Sybil Fawlty. 701 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:05,870 Well, I'm afraid it got trodden on. 702 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,598 Sorry, so wrong. I try again. 703 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:35,880 Andre! Where is it? 704 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:37,040 Don't worry. It's all under control. 705 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:39,240 - Isn't it beautiful? - Fantastic. 706 00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:40,240 Okay. 707 00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:41,240 - Wait a minute! - What? 708 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:42,360 You must have both... 709 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:44,240 - More sauces - I don't need... 710 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:45,880 Sorry, I don't need them. 711 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:47,640 That's all right. 712 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,631 You're all right? 713 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:04,393 Come on! 714 00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:11,595 Ol�! 715 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:22,600 I'm just a girl who can't say no 716 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,160 I'm in a terrible fix... 717 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:30,954 Come... 718 00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,310 Come on! 719 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:47,880 Start! 720 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,640 Start, you vicious bastard! 721 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:52,440 Come on! 722 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:54,040 Oh, my God! 723 00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:57,271 I'm warning you! If you don't start... 724 00:25:58,280 --> 00:25:59,880 I'll count to three. 725 00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:02,920 One... two... 726 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:04,080 three... right! 727 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:05,080 That's it! 728 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:06,240 I've had enough! 729 00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,880 You stalled just once too often! 730 00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:12,000 Right! Well, don't say I haven't warned you! 731 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,320 I've laid it on the line to you 732 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,080 time and time again! 733 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,040 Right! Well, this is it! 734 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:19,873 I'm gonna give you a damn good thrashing! 735 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:32,800 ...can't be prissy and quaint 736 00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:35,200 How can I be what I ain't? 737 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:38,240 I can't say 738 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:40,231 no-oo... 739 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:45,840 Is wonderful! Hey-hey! 740 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,831 - Very... very good. - Thank you. 741 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:51,240 Any sign of the duck? 742 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,231 Oh, it's just coming. 743 00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:05,073 So, Uncle ted comes in with his crate of brown ale... 744 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:09,840 ...and mother says, 745 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,840 "Oh, Ted, look who's here." 746 00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:13,239 And he says... 747 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,120 - Okay, Polly! - Okay! 748 00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:17,360 - Got the sauces? - Got them. 749 00:27:17,360 --> 00:27:18,349 Right! 750 00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:20,880 Ah. 751 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,871 Ladies and gentlemen... 752 00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:26,351 so sorry to have kept you waiting. 753 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:53,720 Well, uh... 754 00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:54,880 who's for trifle? 755 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:56,280 What?! 756 00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:58,032 Trifle for you, Mrs. Hall? 757 00:27:59,040 --> 00:28:02,112 What about the duck, Fawlty? 758 00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:07,197 Duck's off, sorry. 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 50527

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