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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,560 By Jove! 2 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:33,920 It's warm tonight, isn't it, Fawlty? 3 00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:35,120 Certainly is, Major, yes. 4 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,640 Very warm. 5 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:37,720 Can I get you another one? 6 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:39,680 What? Well, why not indeed? 7 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:41,432 What a very nice idea. 8 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,640 Reminds me of somebody machine gunning a seal. 9 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:46,720 The heat? 10 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,040 No, no. My wife's laugh. 11 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:50,600 Ah, yes. 12 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,160 Ah, good evening, Mrs. Peignoir. 13 00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:53,800 Good evening. 14 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,240 Thank you for your map. It was so useful. 15 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:58,600 I must congratulate you. 16 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,840 I had no idea how charming Torquay was. 17 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:02,960 Enchant�. May I ask, 18 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,800 did you find anything of interest? 19 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,400 Mm-hmm. A few pieces I like very much. 20 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,680 And one, oh... I had to have it. 21 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:12,640 Formidable. I'm so pleased. 22 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,960 May I introduce Major Gowen, 23 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:17,040 our longest standing resident? Mrs. Peignoir. 24 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:18,400 How do you do, Major? 25 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:19,800 How do you do, Madam? 26 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,280 Mrs. Peignoir's an antique dealer. 27 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:23,748 She's down here for a few days sniffing around for dainty relics. 28 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:27,880 Please don't alarm yourself, 29 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,320 it's only my wife laughing. 30 00:01:29,320 --> 00:01:31,600 I'm afraid her local finishing school was bombed. 31 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:32,640 Oh, dear! 32 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,360 No, no, not really. Just a thought. 33 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:35,800 Well now, what can I get you? 34 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,440 Do you have any Ricard? 35 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:38,480 I'm sorry? 36 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:39,640 Any Ricard? 37 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,880 We're just out of it, I think. 38 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,080 - Just a sherry then. - But of course. 39 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:46,720 Tell me, are you, by any chance, 40 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,040 French at all? 41 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:49,680 Yes, I am. 42 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:51,511 Good Lord! 43 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:56,160 Enjoying yourself, dear? 44 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,760 We, uh... we haven't put any nuts in the bowl, have we? 45 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:00,520 I haven't. I don't know about you. 46 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:01,840 Well, I'll do it then, shall I? 47 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:03,760 That would be the simplest solution, dear. 48 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,040 Where's Manuel? 49 00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:07,920 We've given him the evening off, dear. It's his birthday. 50 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:10,559 I mean, how old is he? Two and a half? 51 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:16,840 Excuse me, there are no nuts here, Sybil. 52 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:18,637 No nuts! 53 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,960 You'll find them in the kitchen. 54 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,120 Oh, will I? 55 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:26,320 If you can bear to tear yourself away from Mrs. Peignoir, you will. 56 00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:27,753 Do go on. 57 00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,120 In 1918, I think. 58 00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:34,600 Did you ever see that film, "How to Murder your Wife"? 59 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,120 "How to Murder Your Wife"? 60 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,560 Yes, awfully good. I saw it six times. 61 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:40,039 Very funny! 62 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,560 Are you all right, Mr. Fawlty? 63 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,680 What? Yes, thank you very much. You all right? 64 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:47,800 Yes. 65 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,320 Good, good. We're all all right, then. 66 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:52,320 Must be the heat. 67 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,240 Yes, and he's getting taller, isn't he? 68 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:55,960 I don't think he's very well, dear. 69 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,400 I think we ought to take care of him. 70 00:02:58,400 --> 00:02:59,400 - Hello. - Hello. 71 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,480 I think I left it over here somewhere. 72 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:02,993 Hang on. 73 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,840 Ah, here it is. 74 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:08,240 See you tonight? 75 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:09,593 Mm-hmm. C'mon. 76 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,920 Yes! A single for tonight, is it? 77 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:20,160 Mr. Fawlty, may I introduce Richard Turner? 78 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,360 - I'm sorry? - He's a friend of mine. 79 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:23,720 Oh! You know each other, do you? 80 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,120 Just passing through, are you? 81 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:26,520 There you go. See you tonight. 82 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:29,440 Oh, we've opened a library, have we? How nice. 83 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,680 Please don't leave on my account, Mr. Turnip. 84 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,440 - I'm sorry, Mr. Fawlty. - Now look, Polly. 85 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,560 - We were just saying goodbye... - I mean what sort of place 86 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:39,840 do you think this is, a massage parlor? We are running a nice respectable high cl... 87 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,840 I'm sorry, did I say something funny? 88 00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,400 No, I was, uh, just looking... 89 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,400 No, obviously I said something frightfully comic. 90 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:46,440 No, it's just the heat. 91 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,360 Well, so long as I amuse the staff. That's all I'm here for. 92 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,760 - I'll just take these in... - One other thing, Polly. 93 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:54,560 I'm afraid we've abandoned the idea of the topless afternoon teas, 94 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,840 so if you wouldn't mind changing before going where people may be trying to eat. 95 00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,520 I was going to. 96 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,200 Polly, would you come back here, please? 97 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:02,920 I'm on form tonight. Yes, Mr. Fawlty? 98 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,760 I know these kind of drawings are considered decent at art school. 99 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:08,600 Would you please not leave them lying around on display at the reception? 100 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,160 I'll put them away when I've got some clothes on. 101 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,559 I mean, really! 102 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:22,313 Hello, Fawlty Titties. 103 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:26,200 Yes, yes. 104 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,040 Oh, it's you, Audrey. Yes. 105 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,640 Oh, he's left you again, has he? 106 00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:33,080 Oh, dear... oh, dear. 107 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,640 How sad, hmm... yes. 108 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,040 Ah, good evening, Major. I'll be with you in just one moment. 109 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:39,800 Well, I'll get her to call. 110 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:41,960 Hmm... yes, well, keep your pecker up. Bye. 111 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:43,439 Dreadful. 112 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:46,840 Oh, stop it, Alan. 113 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:48,068 R-ruff, ruff-ruff! 114 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,000 Hello. 115 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,560 We booked a room. 116 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,320 - Have you? - Yes, a double one. 117 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,720 - The name is... - One moment, please. 118 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:00,360 - That's a nice suit. - What? 119 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:02,600 - Nothing. - I thought you said something 120 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:03,880 No. 121 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,480 Are you all right? 122 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:07,835 Yes, thank you. Aah! 123 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:12,080 - Are we ready? - I think we are, yes. 124 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:13,920 May I have your name, please? 125 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:15,240 Yes, it's Bruce. 126 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:16,640 - Mr. And Mrs. Bruce. - That's right. 127 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,200 Is it a double bed? 128 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,440 I beg your pardon? 129 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:21,440 Has our room got a double bed? 130 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,640 - A double bed? - Yes. 131 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,080 We've only got one double bed, I mean, do you want that? 132 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:27,280 Oh, very much indeed. Yes. 133 00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:29,240 Well, I'll have to put you in number 12 then. 134 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,760 - All right. - I mean... oh, never mind. 135 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,273 Has it got a breeze? 136 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:36,920 Has it got a breeze? 137 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,720 Well, is it airy? 138 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:40,600 Well, there's air in it. I mean, what the... 139 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,160 Oh, I think there's a letter for me. 140 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:44,480 - What? - There's a letter for me there. 141 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:47,392 - No, there isn't. - Yes. Jean Wilson. 142 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:50,840 - Jean Wilson, is this you? - Mm-hmm. 143 00:05:50,840 --> 00:05:51,840 Heh heh heh! 144 00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,400 Now, what's going on here? 145 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:56,040 Well, I can't give you a double room, then. 146 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:57,560 - Oh, look... - It's against the law. 147 00:05:57,560 --> 00:05:58,800 - What law? - The law of England. 148 00:05:58,800 --> 00:05:59,840 Nothing to do with me. 149 00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:02,040 - Nothing to do with you? - Nothing at all. 150 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:03,840 I can give you two singles, if you like, but... 151 00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:05,840 Shall we go somewhere else? 152 00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:07,640 Excuse me. 153 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,560 There's my key. 154 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,640 And now, I'm off to paint the town red. 155 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:13,040 Thank you so much. 156 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,360 Well, uh... perhaps I'll see you later this evening? 157 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,828 Yes, my wife and I will be up till quite late tonight, thank you. 158 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:20,680 I don't believe a word! 159 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,960 Excuse me. We'll have two singles then, 160 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:24,800 if that's all right with the police? 161 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,840 Two singles, certainly. Now... 162 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:29,280 - Next to each other. - Next to each other... 163 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,680 Oh dear, we can't do that. What a shame. 164 00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:33,320 - Good evening. - Good evening. 165 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:35,640 - A double, is it? - We'd like a double. 166 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:38,360 Two singles, dear. Not married. Now... 167 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:39,640 What? 168 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,080 Nothing, dear. I'm dealing with it. 169 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:44,440 Well, 17 and 18 are free. You'd have to share a bath. 170 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:47,200 No... Oh, uh, Audrey called. I'll handle it. 171 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:48,400 George has left her again. 172 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,400 Oh, no. 173 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,880 Now, we've got one on the first floor, one right up at the top. 174 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:55,000 - Shall I deal with this, Basil? - I'm dealing with it, dear. 175 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,840 No, that's all right. You wanted two singles? 176 00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:58,080 I said I'd deal with it. 177 00:06:58,080 --> 00:06:59,840 - Mind sharing a bathroom? - I was here first. 178 00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:01,671 It's my turn now. 179 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,035 I fought the Korean war, you know? I killed four men. 180 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,600 He was in the Catering Corps, he used to poison them. 181 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:17,080 Yes? Who is it? 182 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:18,720 - It's Manuel. - What do you want? 183 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,480 Can I go now? 184 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:21,840 I thought you'd gone. 185 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:24,040 - �Qu�? - I thought you'd gone. 186 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,760 No, I turned it off. 187 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:27,280 What? 188 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,040 It was about so high. 189 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:32,280 No. I said, I thought... a creduto... It doesn't matter. 190 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,040 - �Qu�? - It doesn't matter. 191 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,480 Oh, you think I gone. 192 00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:37,320 - Yes. - No, no, I go now. 193 00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:38,840 - Wonderful. - What? Is okay? 194 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:41,229 - It's okay. - Thank you. 195 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:43,640 Yes? 196 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:45,760 - Before I go... - What is it? 197 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,800 Is my birthday. 198 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,760 Yes, I know! 199 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,960 "I want to thank you for beautiful present." 200 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,320 Oh, yes. Fine. 201 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,480 "And for your much kindness to me since I come here." 202 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:56,760 Not at all. My pleasure. 203 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,240 "Since coming here from Spain, leaving my mother..." 204 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,440 - Outside. - �Qu�? 205 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:03,908 Outside. Thank you. 206 00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:06,560 "Since coming here from Spain, 207 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:08,920 leaving my five brothers and four sisters..." 208 00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:11,798 Give it to me. Thank you. 209 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:14,960 Can I have it, Basil? 210 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,200 - What, dear? - I want that key. 211 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:17,640 I've only got the key to room 12, dear. 212 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:18,880 - That's the one. - Now look here, Sybil... 213 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:20,960 Basil! 214 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,680 If you were my size... 215 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,238 "Since coming..." 216 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:26,920 - Manuel. - S�, s�? 217 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,760 Number 12, please. 218 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:29,875 Basil! 219 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,160 Jean! 220 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:37,880 Hello, Poll. 221 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:39,440 What are you doing here? 222 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,200 Well, we couldn't get in at the Bellevue. 223 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,120 Oh, no. Hello, Alan. 224 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,240 It'll be fun. My parents arrive tomorrow. 225 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:46,440 What, here? 226 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:47,840 Well, I warned you. 227 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,240 Yes, we've already met the famous Fawlty. 228 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,320 Shh, I'm not supposed to hobnob. 229 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,788 - I like your outfit. - I'll give you the pattern. 230 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,240 Are you going to be at Fiona's wedding? 231 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,480 I can't, but I'll be at the reception, 232 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,240 in my very own Jean Wilson creation. 233 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:03,760 I want you to try that on later. 234 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,840 Okay. How's that gorgeous stepfather? 235 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,160 I haven't seen him for a month. He's been in Singapore. 236 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:09,560 Oh, blast! 237 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:11,960 I forgot to get those batteries for my electric razor. 238 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:13,400 Is there anywhere still open, Poll? 239 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:16,312 - You might find a chemist's. - I better have a look. 240 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:18,680 Is Richard coming tonight? 241 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,671 - We'll be along about 10:00. - Great! 242 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:27,040 Hello again. 243 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:30,160 We managed to get it all sorted out with your wife. 244 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,360 I wouldn't know about that. Is there something you want? 245 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:34,510 Yes. I know it's a bit late, do you know if there's a chemist still open? 246 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:37,720 I beg your pardon? 247 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:40,400 Do you know if there's a chemist still open? 248 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:43,080 I suppose you think this is funny, do you? 249 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,360 - Funny? - Ha. Ha. Ha. 250 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:48,160 No, no. I really want to know. 251 00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:50,800 Well, I don't. So far as I know, all the chemists are shut. 252 00:09:50,800 --> 00:09:53,040 You'll just have to wait till tomorrow. Sorry. 253 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,600 Bit of a blow, I imagine. 254 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:56,600 What? 255 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:57,840 Nothing. You heard. 256 00:09:57,840 --> 00:09:59,240 Is that all? 257 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:00,840 - Well... - Yes? 258 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,720 - I don't suppose you've got a couple... - Now, look! 259 00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:05,240 Just don't push your luck! 260 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:06,840 I have a breaking point, you know. 261 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,434 Well, I only want some batteries. 262 00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:12,560 I don't believe it. 263 00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:14,560 - What? - Batteries, huh? 264 00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:16,920 You know something? You disgust me. 265 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,040 I know what people like you get up to, 266 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,920 and I think it's disgusting! 267 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:22,280 Wh-what are you talking about? 268 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:25,040 I want batteries for my electric razor. I want to shave! 269 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:26,080 - Oh yes? - Yes! 270 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:27,800 I haven't shaved today. Look, see? 271 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,280 - Electric razor, huh? - Right! 272 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,440 Well, that's what I was referring to when I said it was disgusting. 273 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,520 It is, of course, disgusting that you haven't shaved, 274 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:37,120 but, understandable. I mean, sometimes I don't shave either, 275 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,440 and that's disgusting too. 276 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,960 So I shall have a razor sent up to your room straightaway. 277 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:42,393 Thank you so much, good night. 278 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,440 Hello? 279 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:25,400 Audrey, any news? 280 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:29,120 Oh, dear. He hasn't? 281 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,190 Oh, I know. 282 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:37,840 He doesn't deserve you, Audrey. He really doesn't. 283 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,240 Exactly. 284 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,440 I know you have. 285 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,874 I know. I know. 286 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,440 Oh, I know. 287 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,440 Are you gonna go on like that all night? 288 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:52,200 What was that, Audrey? 289 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,880 Oh, I know. 290 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:55,880 I know. 291 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:58,640 Well, why is she telling you then? 292 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:00,800 I understand, dear, I really do. 293 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,240 I can't stand it anymore. 294 00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:04,276 I'll go clean the roof or something. 295 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,080 There's the front doorbell. Somebody's got back late. 296 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,080 Yes, yes. 297 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:11,600 I expect they forgot their passkey. 298 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:12,760 I know. 299 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:14,240 Somebody better go and let them in. 300 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:15,960 - Yes. - I'll go then, shall I? 301 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,240 - Hmm. - Yes, I agree. Right. I'll go. 302 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,600 You know who that is, don't you? 303 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,640 That's your pair, the "Kama Sutra" set. 304 00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:25,560 "Good Evening, welcome to Basil Fawlty Knocking Shops Limited." 305 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:28,074 No, dear. It's only Basil. 306 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:33,116 I'm coming, I'm coming. 307 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:39,000 I mean, I suppose you know what time it is? 308 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,080 Oh, Mr. Fawlty, 309 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:42,680 I'm so sorry. 310 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,360 Oh no. It's only a quarter past 11:00. 311 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:47,040 I got you out of your bed. 312 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,080 Not at all. I had a few little jobs to do... 313 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:50,840 Oh, you're so kind. 314 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,640 Oh, well... 315 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:55,160 I had just a lovely evening. 316 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:56,800 Did you? How very nice. 317 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,960 I saw some friends I hadn't seen for years. 318 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:02,960 I had a little bit too much to drink, I'm afraid. 319 00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:05,400 What's life for if one can't get a bit... 320 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:08,080 - Blotto? - Well, hardly blotto. 321 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:12,400 Mr. Fawlty, you're so charming. 322 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,520 Well, one does one's best. 323 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,880 I hope Mrs. Fawlty 324 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:18,080 appreciates how lucky she is. 325 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:19,240 I think probably not, in fact. 326 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:20,680 Oops! 327 00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:22,240 Sorry, I beg... 328 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,834 - Ah, there we are. - Ha ha ha! 329 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,840 Oh, sorry! Sorry. Ha ha! There you are. 330 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:30,200 - Carry on. - We're awfully sorry. 331 00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,240 It was quite extraordinary. The front doorbell went 332 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,360 just a moment ago, and I thought to myself, 333 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:37,400 "I expect that'll be Alan and uh..." so, down I go, and lo and behold, 334 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,640 it's not you at all, it's Mrs. Peignoir. Have you met? Alan and uh... 335 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:43,920 this is Mrs. Peignoir. She's an antique dealer, I mean, she deals in antiques. 336 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:47,920 She's not frightfully old or anything. Ha, ha. So, I let her in just 10 secs ago, hardly five, 337 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:49,560 I mean, hardly time to say good evening, 338 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:53,000 in she comes, drops her thing, down I go and there you are, 339 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,160 bless my soul. Golly, is that the time? 340 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,320 My goodness, I was thinking it was a quarter past 10:00. 341 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,240 My God! I'd better get to bed. 342 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:02,949 Can't stand around talking all night. Got to get an early night. Bye! 343 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:05,234 Sorry! 344 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,520 Are you all right? 345 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:13,640 Yes, I am. Good night. 346 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:15,440 - Good night. - Bonne nuit. 347 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,200 Jean, I'll just make that call. 348 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,430 - Don't be too long. - No. 349 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,040 Well? 350 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,840 - Hmm? - Who was it? 351 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,520 It was your, uh, your pair. 352 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:33,000 Huh. Humph. 353 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,798 - Good night. - Bonne nuit. 354 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,680 Oh, and that woman, uh... 355 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:43,920 Mrs. Peignoir? 356 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,520 Ah, yes. Something like that. 357 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,670 Dormez bien, Mr. Fawlty. 358 00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,000 How's Audrey? 359 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,040 She's in a terrible state. 360 00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,519 Ah, good, good. 361 00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,440 There's someone at the door, Sybil! 362 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:05,240 Why are you shouting, Basil? 363 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:06,560 Was I shouting? Sorry, Sybil. 364 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:08,640 Well, I'd better go see who that is, Sybil. 365 00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:12,400 I expect it's some key who forgot to get the guest for their door. 366 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,880 Or something like that, some innocent explanation. 367 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,440 - Ha, are you ready, Sybil? - I'm ready. 368 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,280 Right. I'll just see who that is then, Sybil. 369 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,748 All right, Sybil? 370 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:23,239 Hello? 371 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,397 Hello? 372 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:31,480 - Ah. - Aaah! 373 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,640 Oh, so sorry, Mr. Fawlty. Poor Mr. Fawlty. 374 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:36,640 Are you all right? 375 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:38,440 No, I'm dying, but don't get out of bed. 376 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:40,840 I hurt you, and you so wonderful to me. 377 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,680 Give me such beautiful present. Thank you! 378 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,640 You're drunk, Manuel! 379 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,920 No, no. Is beautiful. Is my first one. Thank you. 380 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,480 Now listen... argh! 381 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:51,640 Oh, poor Mr. Fawlty. 382 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:56,040 So sorry. Please, Mr. Fawlty, I love you, I love you! 383 00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:57,520 You so kind to me, you so good to me! 384 00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:58,840 I love you! 385 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:01,080 Basil, I'm trying to read In here. 386 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,640 Since I come here from Spain 387 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,160 leaving my five mothers, 388 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:07,799 and four aunties with no... 389 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,000 Et maintenant, un peu de caf�? 390 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,800 Ah, oui, s'll vous pl�it. Caf� au lait. 391 00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:20,640 - Caf� what? - Au lait. 392 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:22,312 Ah, ol�. Quite. 393 00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,480 There we are. Voil� sommes nous. 394 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:44,840 - Caf� pour vous. - "Vous"? 395 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:46,200 Pas pour toi? 396 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:47,800 Well, I'll probably have one later. 397 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:49,640 - Very funny. - Oh good, good. 398 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,320 Oh, Mr. Fawlty, I forget. 399 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:53,880 The window in my bedroom, I can't open it. Could you? 400 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,553 Oh, certainly, I'll pop up and fix it. Certainly. 401 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,835 For you, and this one... 402 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:13,240 Thank you so much. 403 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:14,240 Manuel? 404 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:15,240 Oh, is terrible! 405 00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:16,400 Go to the kitchen, Manuel. 406 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:17,400 I cannot. 407 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:18,920 Go to the kitchen immediately. 408 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:20,000 Come on, Manuel. 409 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,840 No, no, please, I die here. Please. 410 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,680 Sorry about this. 411 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:25,680 He's been overworking awfully hard recently. 412 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:26,720 Can I help? 413 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:28,760 No, I can manage. Thank you, Polly. 414 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,149 - Come on. - Oh, no, please. 415 00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:33,480 He's at it again. Look. 416 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:34,480 It's disgusting. 417 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:35,480 I beg your pardon? 418 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:36,480 Nothing. 419 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:37,480 I thought you said something? 420 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:40,040 No, no. Carry on. 421 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:49,076 Get on with your meals. 422 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:52,280 Thank you, Mr. Lloyd. 423 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,160 And this is just for tonight, isn't it? 424 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,640 - That's right. - Will you be taking lunch? 425 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,200 We won't have time, I'm afraid. 426 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,760 We've got this wedding at half past 2:00. 427 00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,640 I wonder, could I make a call? 428 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:02,040 Please, use that phone. 429 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,120 Would it be possible 430 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,040 to have sandwiches sent up to the room? 431 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,200 Certainly. Here's the key. 432 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,240 I'll have your bags brought up in a moment. 433 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:10,360 Would you like coffee with the sandwiches? 434 00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:12,480 Yes, please. 435 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:13,840 Mum! 436 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,200 Hello, darling. Hello, Alan. 437 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,280 Hello, Rachel. 438 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,000 Where's Phillip? Did he have a good trip? 439 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,960 Marvelous, he's upstairs. 440 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,920 Could I speak to Mrs. Brice, please? 441 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,320 I'll see you in a moment. 442 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:27,040 I'm just going to finish my breakfast. 443 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,400 There they are. 444 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,560 Where's the key? 445 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,080 He's already taken It up, Basil. 446 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:32,160 All right. 447 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:33,320 Anne? 448 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,000 It's Rachel Lloyd here. How's everything? 449 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,520 I'm going to take your cases upstairs. 450 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:38,873 Yes, I know. 451 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:41,873 Darling, it's beautiful, thank you. 452 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,519 Sybil, Sybil. 453 00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:00,080 - Ah, hello. - Hello. 454 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,640 - It's Mrs. Lloyd, isn't it? - That's right. 455 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,360 How do you do? Fawlty, Basil Fawlty. 456 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:06,440 - How do you do? - Pretty well, can't complain. 457 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,520 Good. 458 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,160 We had this door knocked through recently. 459 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,880 Made a rather good job of it, don't you think? 460 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:14,040 Yes, yes. It's very nice. 461 00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:15,720 Marvelous. Changed our lives, really. 462 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,200 Used to have to do the 100 yards through there and back again, 463 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,080 but now we can just sort of open it and... 464 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,120 it isn't working as well as it usually does. Ha! 465 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,680 You can go right in. 466 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:28,920 Just like that. Marvelous. Really. Rather simple, but effective. 467 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,680 Would you like to have a try, see the kitchen and... 468 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:33,360 I'd love to one day, but I think just now, 469 00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:36,193 I'd better get upstairs. So, I'll see you later. 470 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,200 You all right? 471 00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:43,760 Bit of trouble with the old leg, I'd better sit down here for a moment. 472 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,880 Bit of shrapnel, Korean war. Still in there. 473 00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,840 Can't they get it out? 474 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:49,600 No, too deep, too deep. 475 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,800 Well, this is the kitchen, as you can see. 476 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,840 - What? - The kitchen, yes. 477 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,520 We had it plastered about five years ago. 478 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:58,193 We've got a few cracks up there now. 479 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:03,480 Oh, don't worry about him. He's just having a lie down. 480 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:08,156 He's Spanish. From Barcelona. You know, sort of siesta. But he's fine. 481 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,280 It was his birthday yesterday. 482 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:15,080 We have a few cracks up there now, but nothing serious. 483 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,160 As I say, it's not the Sistine Chapel, but we're very happy with it. 484 00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:20,320 Are you sure he's all right? 485 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,440 Oh, yes. Yes, he's fine. Yes. 486 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:23,440 But he's groaning. 487 00:20:23,440 --> 00:20:24,640 Is he? Is he? 488 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,840 Can't you hear him? 489 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,000 So he is. Listen, I just remembered 490 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:31,120 I left your cases just outside your room, by mistake. 491 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:33,440 Would you mind if I went up and put them inside now? 492 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:34,800 Unless there's anything else... 493 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:35,840 Don't you think perhaps we should open... 494 00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:38,360 No, no, no! Don't worry about that. My wife will deal with that. Sybil! 495 00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:40,720 So, if you'd like to, uh... 496 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,392 Come on! Come along. 497 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:43,914 Come in. 498 00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:47,800 Your sandwiches, Mr. Lloyd. 499 00:20:47,800 --> 00:20:49,600 Polly! 500 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,440 - Hello. - How are you? 501 00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:53,800 - Fantastic. - It's great to see you. 502 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,440 You're still gorgeous. 503 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:57,873 Dear, dear, dear. 504 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,950 Is anything the matter? 505 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:13,440 Mrs. Lloyd, could I have a word with you? 506 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,240 You are. 507 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:17,240 Well, there's something that I need to explain. 508 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,680 - Well? - Could we go in there? 509 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,840 Oh, really, is it absolutely necessary? 510 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:23,831 I'm afraid it is. 511 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:26,353 Thank you. 512 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,600 Mrs. Lloyd, I'm so sorry... 513 00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:35,480 but... this is... 514 00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:37,038 a much nicer room 515 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:39,400 than the one we've given you. 516 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:40,480 - What? - I'm sorry, 517 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,600 I was just saying that this room is so much nicer than yours, 518 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,640 and I wanted to bring you in here now, and show it to you and apologize, 519 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:50,160 in case you found out about it later, and got rather cross. 520 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,360 Now, um, the point is... 521 00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:55,840 What is? The point is if it turns out you don't like that room 522 00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:58,800 um, then we can always move you in here but I don't think it's worth doing 523 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:02,040 until you've definitely decided you don't like that one as much as this one, 524 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:06,240 then we can sit down, a round table, sort of discuss it, kind of chew it over, 525 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:09,152 and, uh... 526 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:11,720 And it'd be a piece of cake. 527 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,029 Bob's your uncle. Okay? 528 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,319 Fine. 529 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:19,389 Oh, sorry. Sorry. 530 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:21,719 Thank you. 531 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,280 Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. 532 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,032 I wondered where you were, darling. 533 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:32,440 Darling? 534 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,476 Darling, are you all right? 535 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,517 This room is exactly the same as the one that he just... 536 00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:44,080 Oh, Jean, it's absolutely smashing! 537 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:45,360 A bit tight across the bust. 538 00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:46,720 Oh, I love it. 539 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:47,920 Lower, lower. 540 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:49,800 - Are you sure? - Can I pick it up tonight? 541 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:53,560 Lower, low... ah! That's it, that's it. 542 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,200 That is amazing! 543 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,880 That Is amazing! 544 00:22:57,880 --> 00:22:59,359 Aww, ha, ha ha! 545 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:10,000 Hey, baby, 546 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,000 have you been taking lessons? 547 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,434 So, I'll see you tonight, huh? 548 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,230 For 10 quid, that's absolutely fantastic. 549 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:31,468 Oh. 550 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,436 No, no, no. 551 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:37,960 No, no, no. 552 00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:38,995 No! 553 00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:45,880 Polly, I want to see you at reception in one minute in your hat and coat. 554 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:46,880 I'm sorry? 555 00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:47,960 I want to see you at reception 556 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:49,240 in one minute in your hat and coat! 557 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:52,152 - Will they fit you? - No. What? You, you! 558 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:55,040 - They're going. - What? 559 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,393 They're going! 560 00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:05,720 I'm sorry, but you'll have to go. 561 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,160 We've made a mistake, all these rooms are taken. 562 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:09,840 She was sitting on him. 563 00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:12,520 Five minutes later, I found him lying on the floor 564 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,238 underneath the waiter. 565 00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:17,880 I'm sorry, but... 566 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:19,520 ah, there you are. Got together, have you? 567 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:21,640 Yes, yes. I might have guessed, mightn't I? 568 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,640 Yes, I see. Of course, we're a bit behind the times down here in Torquay. 569 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:26,400 I'm sorry, but you'll have to go. 570 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:27,880 We made a mistake. All these rooms are taken. 571 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,280 I'm so sorry. 572 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:31,720 Well, actually, I'm not sorry. 573 00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:33,040 I mean, you come in here, just like that, 574 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:36,240 and, well, to be perfectly blunt, you have a very good time at our expense. 575 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:37,760 I mean, I think you know what I mean, hmm? 576 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,600 I mean you have had a very, very good time, haven't you? 577 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,831 Well, not here you don't, oh, no! Thank you and good night! 578 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,800 Well... that's taken care of that! 579 00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:56,240 Basil, what is going on? 580 00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,000 Why did you tell Polly to get her hat and coat? 581 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:00,640 Because she's going, along with the Lloyds and that pair you let in. 582 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:02,640 Never seen anything like it in my life. My God! 583 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,800 Basil, what are you on about? Why are they leaving? 584 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,280 I'll tell you exactly why they're leaving. First of all, I go up there 585 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:08,680 and find that girl in his arms, in Lloyd's arms. 586 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:10,280 Five minutes later, Polly's in there. 587 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,440 - What girl? - Th... that girl. 588 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,000 - She's his daughter. - What? 589 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:20,074 She's Mr. Lloyd's stepdaughter. They're all one family. 590 00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:36,560 What about Polly? 591 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:39,720 She was at school with Jean. She's known them all for years. 592 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:41,400 - For years, huh? - For years. 593 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:42,760 What have I done? 594 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:45,200 - What have you done? - I've told them to leave. 595 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:47,080 You've told them to leave? 596 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:48,760 How was I supposed to know? 597 00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:51,000 Why didn't you tell me, you half-wit? 598 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,840 Why didn't they tell me? You can't blame me for this! 599 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:54,320 Go and tell them they can stay. 600 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:56,520 - Why don't you go tell them? - I didn't tell them to go. 601 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,360 Oh no, I suppose it's all my fault, isn't it? 602 00:25:58,360 --> 00:25:59,840 Go and tell them. Now! 603 00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:00,840 No, I won't. 604 00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:02,040 - You will. - No, no, I won't. 605 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:03,640 - Oh, yes, you will. - Yes, I will! Right. 606 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:05,680 That's right, leave it to me, let me get you out of it. 607 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:07,040 That's all I'm good for, isn't it? 608 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,640 "Basil Fawlty, Limited, other people's messes cleared up 609 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,160 by appointment to my wife, Sybil." 610 00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:12,240 What am I going to say?! 611 00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:14,240 Tell them you made a mistake. 612 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,080 Oh, brilliant! 613 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:17,640 Brilliant. 614 00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:21,720 Is that what made Britain great? "I'm so sorry, I made a mistake." 615 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,234 What have you got for brains? Sponge cake?! 616 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,840 Very nice, very nice. Take 'em off, get back to work. 617 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:31,680 I'm so sorry. I made a mistake. 618 00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:34,040 "I'm so sorry. I made a mistake." 619 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,200 "I'm so sorry. I made a mistake." 620 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:39,200 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, but my wife has made a mistake. 621 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:40,640 I don't know how she did it, but she did. 622 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,880 She's made a complete pudding of the whole thing, as usual. 623 00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,040 It'll be perfectly all right. I've sorted it all out. 624 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:46,640 I'm frightfully sorry, but you know what women are like. 625 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:48,080 They've got one brain between the lot of them... 626 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:51,280 not all of them, but some of them have, including my wife. So please, do stay, 627 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:54,033 and see you all later on. Thank you so much. 628 00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:57,720 I was just saying please do stay, 629 00:26:57,720 --> 00:26:59,520 my wife made a most dreadful mistake. 630 00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:02,671 Yes, I think she probably did. 631 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:10,440 Evening, Fawlty. 632 00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:11,880 Ah, evening, Major. 633 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,640 Papers arrived yet? 634 00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:15,760 Oh, yes. Sorry they're so late. Didn't get here till 5:00. 635 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:17,080 Have to have a word with them again. 636 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,640 Where's your lady wife this evening? 637 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,280 She's spending the night at Audrey's. 638 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:23,880 George has walked out on her again, so she's in the usual state. 639 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:26,200 Still, it must have upset her a bit. 640 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,640 Yes, but she makes such a song and dance about it. 641 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:31,200 You don't like Audrey very much, do you? 642 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:32,520 Dreadful woman, dreadful. 643 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:36,320 I think it's very decent of your wife to go around there 644 00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,000 and listen to all that rubbish. 645 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,760 Couldn't do without her, Major. 646 00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:42,160 She's a fine woman, Mrs. Fawlty. 647 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,160 No, no. I wouldn't say that. 648 00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,280 No, nor would I. 649 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:49,272 - Good night, Fawlty. - Good night, Major. 650 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:54,960 Ah, Mr. Fawlty. 651 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,280 Good evening. Sorry. 652 00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:59,560 No, no, don't switch it off. I love Chopin. 653 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,551 Really? Ah, there's your key. 654 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,240 Ah, it's so romantic. 655 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:06,640 Yes, exactly. 656 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:08,840 Are you romantic, Mr. Fawlty? 657 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,320 No, God, no. 658 00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:13,280 Well, I think you are. 659 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:15,920 I think, beneath that English exterior 660 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,080 throbs a passion that would make 661 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,200 Lord Byron look like a tobacconist. 662 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:22,475 No way. No, sorry. 663 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:28,235 Oh, don't look so bashful. I won't try and sit on you again. 664 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,000 And where is your charming wife this evening? 665 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:38,920 She's spending the night with a friend. 666 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:41,560 - Hmm. - A girl, a lady friend. 667 00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:43,640 When the cat's away, eh? 668 00:28:43,640 --> 00:28:45,480 Oh, hardly. Too much to do. 669 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:47,480 - Well, good night. - Bonne nuit. 670 00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:48,840 - Oh, Mr. Fawlty? - Yes? 671 00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:50,240 Did you fix my window? 672 00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:51,840 Oh... uh, damn. 673 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:54,240 If you could, please? It's so hot tonight. 674 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,231 Yes. Yes, okay. Right. 675 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:08,800 Ungh! Here we are. 676 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,120 You're so strong. 677 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:14,600 Well, I'm sure you are, too, if you put your mind to it. 678 00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:16,200 Your wife shouldn't leave you 679 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:17,360 with strange women. 680 00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,200 Well, I wouldn't call you that strange. 681 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:22,040 Mr. Fawlty, you're so charming. 682 00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:23,080 Only a little. Oh, well... 683 00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:24,840 Do you feel that breeze? 684 00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:25,920 Isn't it wonderful? 685 00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:27,440 Yes, it's nice, isn't it? 686 00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:29,880 I shall sleep au naturelle tonight. 687 00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,640 Good idea, right. 688 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,040 Only it's not so much fun on your own. 689 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:36,720 Oh, well. One could always pretend. 690 00:29:36,720 --> 00:29:39,280 Ooh! Twinge from the old leg. Better go and lie down. 691 00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:40,880 - Good night. - Good night. 692 00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:42,518 Damn shrapnel. 693 00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:57,720 Uh, who is it? 694 00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:59,233 Mr. Fawlty? 695 00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:03,640 Hello. 696 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,040 I'm so sorry, but I have to leave early tomorrow. 697 00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:07,920 Could I have a call at 7:00, please? 698 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,600 Marvelous. Is that all? Absolutely. 7:00. 699 00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,670 Please don't go yet. 700 00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:15,760 I think you've forgotten something. 701 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:17,040 Did I? Damn... 702 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,040 Your recorder. 703 00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:20,760 Oh, thank you. 704 00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,680 - You left it in my room. - Thank you so much. 705 00:30:23,680 --> 00:30:24,960 You left it in my room 706 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:27,315 so you could come and get it, didn't you? 707 00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:32,040 I'm not having you knocking on my door 708 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:33,359 in the middle of the night. 709 00:30:35,560 --> 00:30:37,560 I should go... go. 710 00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:39,240 You naughty man. 711 00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:40,559 - Good night. - Good night. 712 00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,080 Look, go to your room. I won't ask you again. 713 00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:07,640 Open the door. 714 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:08,800 Listen, I can't. 715 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,040 My wife has just got back unexpectedly. 716 00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:12,360 She's in the bathroom. 717 00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:13,520 What, dear? 718 00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:16,080 I think you'll find it on the second shelf, 719 00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:17,080 Sybil darling. 720 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:18,680 Let me in, Basil. 721 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,960 Look, you'll meet somebody else sooner or later. 722 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:22,120 Basil! 723 00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:24,600 Try to control yourself. Where do you think you are, Paris? 724 00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:26,480 Let me in! 725 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:29,000 Shut up, will you? You silly tart! 726 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,880 Go away. My wife will hear us. 727 00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:33,598 This is your wife. 728 00:31:39,640 --> 00:31:41,278 Oh, what a terrible dream! 729 00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:51,040 There's a burglar downstairs. 730 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:52,320 George got back, did he? 731 00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:54,280 There's a burglar downstairs! 732 00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:56,271 - What? - A burglar. Quick! 733 00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:19,908 Manuel? 734 00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,238 Good night. 735 00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:30,549 We've been to a wedding. 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 53401

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