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It's election time at Winchester,

a chance for the campus to choose

their student body president

from a bevy of nearly identical candidates.

With candidates like these, voter turnout tends to be rather anemic.

That is, until this year.

It's the role Troy was groomed to play.

I bet the old Griffins would be better with you on the field.

You're probably pretty fast.

I adore the old pigskin, Marty,

but alas, I fell in love with crew.

Yeah.

Excuse me.

So, um...

are they ready to put their name on our new student center?

I set 'em, you spike 'em.

That's my boy.

- Hi. - Oh.

Hi. Dean's here.

Good to see you.

Dad?

Something's happening on campus.

Not now, son. You're being rude.

Perpetually in the shadow of his father,

Troy's never had success standing up to him.

Dad.

- Calm down, son. - I can't.

I got into performing arts high school, like Wesley Snipes,

Amy Winehouse, Tupac.

Tax evasion, overdose, shot.

But... but, Dad...

- You're going to Trinity. - Yes, sir.

So... we were thinking

of taking a four-day weekend and heading up to Toronto.

See the sights.

Do a little legal Canadian wine tasting.

Wait, what just happened?

- Are we still going? - We're not going.

This time, however, was different.

Troy saw something in those photos

he simply could not abide.

Dad, this is serious.

You're being rude, son.

How about I tell your donors about the kind of school they're giving to?

You listen to me.

No, you listen to me for once.

We need to get the campus police over to Garmin House now.

Just take that shit off.

I'm pouring out your motherfuckin' liquor. I'm pouring out your liquor.

Thanks for the heads-up.

Thanks for making sure they don't arrest the black kids.

Nice party.

Dude, I have no idea who these people are or why they're here.

Yo, yo, Kurt, on the real,

can I fuck in your room?

In the wake of the party,

with students of color needing an advocate

and white students needing to assuage their guilt,

Troy became the man of the moment.

Damn, girl.

Don't put it down so good then.

It's the only way I know how.

What's up, man? You need something?

Uh, just wanted to take you up on that haircut.

Oh, shit.

Bet, man, bet.

Meet me in the bathroom.

Mm-hmm, that is not what you were wearing last night.

Walks of shame are for the ratchet.

Jackie O. or Marilyn?

Is this some girl riddle

where the only answer is I'm an asshole?

When you get elected today,

am I your Jackie O.

or your Marilyn?

Hmm.

I hate any hypothetical that ends with me getting shot in the head.

All of the above?

Mm, that doesn't work for everything.

So, uh...

see you later or

are you rationing that so I don't get addicted?

I'll text you.

Brush your teeth.

Now I gotta get these edges super crispy

because you motherfuckers are picky as shit.

I'm not like that.

Want to listen to some music?

- This party is what it took - Sure.

to wake this campus up.

Look, I sent the invite. I wrote it.

I'm becoming a mainstay here.

I cannot believe you made

such a spectacle of sending out that invite,

and I will not sit by

while you instigate a race war on my campus.

You don't accuse your doctor of infecting you

just because she diagnosed your problem.

Allow me to diagnose your problem.

You got a nasty case of misplaced rage.

Fortunately, I've got a cure for that.

Seeing what you did to your son,

I imagine it involves brainwashing.

You are on probation.

One more incident like this, and you will have to find another campus to blow up.

Now, I hear that Harvard

has really loosened their admission standards.

Please, see yourself out.

Good meeting?

Fucking fantastic.

I don't know what you ever saw in that girl.

She's a hothead.

Her rhetoric makes this campus look like a powder keg

of racial unrest, like a state school.

Now, it's gonna be hard enough for you

to convince these students

to vote and elect their first black president.

Relax. We're good.

The article in The Independent was basically a love letter.

Oh, so you want to take a day off?

You're Odysseus

with Ithaca in plain sight.

And you... want to take a nap.

You remember what happened to him, don't you?

He reached Ithaca safely?

I never finished the Odyssey.

He fell asleep.

And his men cut open his prized possessions,

unleashing the adverse winds

that sent him back across the ocean,

adding years to his journey.

Spoiler alert.

Look, nigga,

you're gonna hit these ivy-lined streets,

and you're gonna leave neither

hand unshaken or baby unkissed.

Yes, sir.

One sec!

Hey. Uh, I was thinking...

I could hit the campaign trail with you.

Sure.

What, the, uh, paper

wants to see how I campaign?

Uh... yes.

This is totally an assignment for the paper.

Cool, all right.

Yo, my computer science majors,

when are you guys gonna invite me to D&D?

I got a wizard ready to whoop Zargon's ass.

We don't have time to quest right now, Troy.

We've been trying to perfect this VR interface,

which is impossible on Winchester's Paleolithic network.

Hmm. Number one on my agenda:

bring fiber optic Internet to Winchester.

How are you supposed to make the next Facebook

on MySpace speeds?

Vote Fairbanks.

Winchester is not just a school to me.

I practically grew up here.

And that party wasn't just painful. It was embarrassing.

We didn't land on Winchester.

Winchester landed on us.

I got caught up.

We need to work together to make our voices stronger!

Too bad we can't vote.

With me as your lifeline,

we will have unprecedented access to the administration.

So we should vote for you

because your father's the HNIC?

No, because of all the other candidates,

who do you think is gonna have your back?

Especially after that shit you pulled.

Sam, help a brother out.

What's it gonna take to get your support?

You could put a political foot in Pastiche's ass

for this blatant racism they call satire.

As students of color at Winchester,

we're like this dumpling:

a mix of exciting flavors

surrounded by bland, white dough.

But...

when brought together with love,

it can be...

beautiful.

Damn.

This brother can do anything.

Oh, Pastiche...

is going to pay.

Am I the only one who sees that this emperor is bare-ass naked?

Look, I know we don't agree on a lot of things...

Most things.

Like, all the things.

Then vote for Aidan,

Colin or Muffy

if you can tell 'em apart.

Hey, ladies, having fun?

Hardly.

This display of toxic masculinity

and peacocking perpetuates a rape culture on campus.

Couldn't agree with you more, my sister.

Number one on my agenda:

open social clubs to all genders.

Tro-bama! My man.

When you win, can I be your Secret Service?

Those dudes get all the pussy.

Getting you all the pussy?

Number one on my agenda.

Vote Fairbanks.

Next group, Men's Crew versus Bechet.

Yo, Troy, get in on this!

Let's see what you got.

Troy! Troy! Troy! Troy! Troy!

Troy! Troy! Troy! Troy!

Come on!

Whoo!

Don't forget. Vote Fairbanks.

Last question.

Why is it important that people vote for you?

It isn't.

It's important to vote, period.

Whether on a collegiate, local or national level,

what makes this country great

is that we have the power to choose our leaders.

And the broken vending machine in Bechet

that gives two-for-one sodas?

That also makes this country great.

My dad says if I lose, he's moving to Canada.

Fingers crossed that I can remain stateside.

Yeah.

If you'll excuse us a moment.

Son, I'd like you to say hello to Neika Hobbs,

African-American Studies professor.

And student faculty liaison.

I guess we'll be working closely together.

Well, I apologize in advance.

You're a better person than I.

In politics, you can't tell people to go fuck themselves.

If I don't do that once a week,

I get a migraine.

Ah, Monique.

How lovely to see you.

Hey, when are you two tying the knot?

Good question.

Well, why don't we just enjoy our love

pure and untouched by the heteronormative culture,

the way God intended?

But when I have an answer to your question,

you'll be the first to know.

Ah.

Okay.

Ah, Nancy!

Come on.

Well, I guess I'll see you around, Mr. President.

Students should leave Winchester with more than

just a degree and a beer belly.

If you were a cat owner and only all cats were dying in America,

if someone said to you, "All pets matter,"

you'd be upset, too.

Beyonc� would make a fantastic candidate

for an honorary degree.

Troy.

You remember Thane. Best running back in the Ivies.

Tro-bama.

Ha, very clever, very clever.

Now, listen, we still have the support of the Griffins, yes?

Hell yeah, bro.

Glad someone's having a good time.

You're not them.

- Ah, Stacy! - Walter!

This party's a fucking snooze-fest.

I mean, there's some quality MILFs up in here,

but I need about...

six more whiskeys

before I taste the early bird special,

if you know what I mean.

Oh, Lionel.

Have you met Thane Lockwood?

I'm on my way out.

No, you should interview him about how the team is doing this year.

I don't really cover sports.

Well, it's time to expand your horizons.

Sometimes I get tired of football...

Sprite, please.

It's the mighty Fairbanks.

Ha-ha.

I just want to say you're doing a great job.

Well, I learn by watching you, President Fletcher.

Oh, see?

That's what I always liked about you.

You're even smoother than your father.

It feels like yesterday you were just a toddler taking your first steps

in your father's office.

- Look at you now. - Walking like a champ.

Next semester? Jogging.

Uh, two champagnes, please.

Troy, when you are elected president...

If.

When.

I hope you'll look out for my boy

any way you can.

God knows...

Kurt really needs it after that disgraceful party.

Number one on my agenda.

To you.

Now,

you'll have to excuse me.

I think Diane and Richard are just drunk enough

to buy us a new track.

Diane!

Oh, you look stunning.

I'll take that, thank you.

It's just one glass of champagne.

And you're one year away from legally being able to drink it.

I'm all talked out, Dad.

Probably should just head home and shut it down.

Okay.

Good night, son.

Just the man I wanted to see.

Well, I can't say the same.

I need your help.

People think I threw that racist party, but I didn't send out those invitations.

Let me guess, the only reason you didn't is because your dad found out?

No, I realize we live in a delicate time rife with racial tensions.

And my dad found out.

Yeah, if you're so innocent,

then why was I the one that called the cops and not you?

'Cause Sam invited people over.

They showed up at my house,

and, you know, purple drink

ain't gonna serve itself, know what I mean?

- Wow. - I'm kidding.

I'm kid... look, Troy.

If you get elected, you need to give me a pardon.

- Not a governor. - A social pardon.

I've been bailing you out since grade school.

Remember that time you put the boot on the kid's wheelchair tire?

Just because his legs didn't work doesn't mean he wasn't an asshole.

You know, the BSU is pissed at you.

And they're not wrong.

What the fuck was that lawn jockey shit on your cover?

It's a commentary on how people don't even know why they're angry anymore.

The lawn jockey used to signal to slaves

on the Underground Railroad if a house was safe.

Where did you get that from?

Wikipedia, man.

You are tiptoeing towards "piece of shit," man.

Oh, so Sam's the only one who's allowed to be provocative?

If you threw

a white-face party, I'd defend you.

That's not a thing!

Not yet!

Hey!

Who wants to see me fly?

Whoo!

I can't believe your father

introduces us every time.

Eye of the tiger,

memory of the goldfish.

How long has it been?

Two years?

Well, tomorrow's our anniversary.

I'm just kidding.

You look tense.

And you look beautiful.

And you look like you have on too many clothes.

Mmm.

Ooh.

I remember those games.

Someone marking their territory.

Yeah?

How's Monique?

That's funny, Troy.

So...

so who'd you vote for?

The white one.

Troy, your father has a life of his own.

Why are you living yours for him?

He pays my room and board?

Today at Armstrong-Parker, I told everyone how bad I wanted to fight for them.

And you know what?

What?

Think I meant it.

Then why did you vote for someone else?

You don't think you deserve to wear that crown?

Look at me.

Let me let you in on a little secret.

No one does.

Troy.

It's 6:30.

And congratulations, you won.

Come on, we gotta go.

Let's go before the team gets here.

Yeah.

- Oh. - We're fucked.

We're gonna figure this shit out.

Professor Hobbs, Troy, thank God you're here.

We wanted to get here before the team.

Yeah, he was showing me the boats.

- She's a lesbian. - I love boats.

Who cares?

Thane Lockwood died last night.

Oh, God.

So that's why everyone is here. That's why we're here.

This is so tragic and so sad.

So sad.

He tried to fly...

and... he couldn't.

So, so sad.

- Mm, my heart. - Did you call anyone?

Right.