Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:07,074
Shop this show's fashion on LookLive.com
2
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:48,500
Forty-year-old Gyrese,
you are not the father.
3
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,900
This nigger from New York
from the olden days...
4
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,580
bumpy son, bumpy.
5
00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:56,620
Pose some secrets that are feeding
Shannon's crystal meth addiction.
6
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,920
- Now wait a minute, Kim.
- Get the [beep] out of my face!
7
00:00:59,020 --> 00:01:02,027
What's wrong with you?
What the [beep] is your...
8
00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:05,420
We already know what it is.
It's freestyle Friday.
9
00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:06,980
A race war has erupted...
10
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:10,220
at one of the nation's oldest
and most prestigious institutions.
11
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,380
Outrage over an African-American
themed party...
12
00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:16,860
organized by predominantly white
students of Winchester University...
13
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:20,100
...has resulted in rioting
and property damages.
14
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:23,340
Police were called to disrupt
a massive fight that broke out...
15
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,740
...between African-American
students and partygoers...
16
00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:26,900
just after midnight.
17
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:29,700
To address diversity issues,
the school have recently...
18
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,740
...appointed African-American
scholar Dr. Walter Fairbanks...
19
00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:34,300
as dean of students.
20
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,540
Last year the Dean's office
celebrated slight...
21
00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:38,140
...gains in diverse applicants...
22
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:41,260
but with many now calling
for Fairbanks' resignation...
23
00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:43,300
that may have been premature.
24
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,940
School officials released a statement
claiming that an investigation...
25
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,620
into those responsible for the party...
26
00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:51,020
and subsequent riot is underway.
27
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,300
An invite to the Halloween party,
sent via social media...
28
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,780
asked guests to liberate
their inner Negro...
29
00:01:56,880 --> 00:01:58,740
fry up chicken...
30
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,889
enjoy a cough syrup based concoction
known as purple drank...
31
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:37,900
Dear white people.
32
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,300
The minimum requirement
of black friends...
33
00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:44,060
needed to not seem racist
has just been raised to two.
34
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:49,041
Sorry, but your weed man
Tyrone does not count.
35
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:14,649
Hey, Kurt, you home?
36
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:21,900
Hey, you've reached Garmin House,
home of Lionel Higgins...
37
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,420
the only bitch on campus
who will give you a dickscount.
38
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,540
That's right, hunty,
the bigger the dick...
39
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,961
the less you have to pay me to suck it.
40
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:35,044
Kurt, it's Lionel.
I'm locked out.
41
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,051
You know my parents call this line.
42
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,140
All right. Bye.
43
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:45,900
Dear white people...
44
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,580
apparently Morgan Freeman wasn't enough.
45
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,980
Obama could cure cancer...
46
00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:53,620
and somewhere white folks
will be embroiled in protest.
47
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,768
And he's only half black.
48
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,140
- Talk to me.
- Hello there.
49
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,860
First time caller, long time listener.
50
00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,460
So Sam, how would you feel...
51
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,140
if someone started a Dear Black People?
52
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:06,100
No need.
53
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:09,980
Mass media from Fox News
to reality TV on VH1...
54
00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:11,980
makes it clear
what white people think of us.
55
00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,491
Thanks for calling.
56
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:43,380
I'm pissed.
57
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:47,180
The whole point of randomized housing...
58
00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:48,980
is to mix shit up.
59
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,820
I'm out here trying
to find the Olivier...
60
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,060
to my Halle Berry...
61
00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,260
and they got me out here...
62
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:58,060
looking like an extra
on A Different World.
63
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,900
That's not okay. At all.
64
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,780
So your YouTube show, it's called...
65
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,420
"Doing Time at an Ivy League?"
66
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:09,660
In my second year
of a four year sentence.
67
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,780
Armstrong-Parker,
that's your housing assignment?
68
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:17,340
Traditionally it's where
the hopelessly Afrocentric gather...
69
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:21,580
to process their guilt
over not going to an HBCU.
70
00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:23,569
Where the negros be at.
71
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,569
That's not where
you wanted to be, right?
72
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,123
Bechet House is more my style.
73
00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:30,686
The rich white kids.
74
00:05:31,840 --> 00:05:32,620
Excuse me?
75
00:05:32,720 --> 00:05:35,220
- What part of Chicago are you from?
- Hyde Park.
76
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:36,420
What street?
77
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:39,205
- Seventy-eighth and...
- Seventy-eighth!
78
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,620
That's Southside, sweetheart.
79
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:43,660
You know what they say.
80
00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,900
You can take the girl out the hood,
but you cannot take the hood...
81
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,446
There is nothing hood about me.
82
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:54,761
Thank you for your time.
83
00:05:56,000 --> 00:06:01,140
So, how long will you
be on campus for casting?
84
00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:03,860
Let me explain to you
the way reality TV works.
85
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,645
I'm the producer.
I ask the questions.
86
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,205
We'll be in touch.
87
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,420
Your hair is so cute B.T. Dubs.
88
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:20,887
- Well, you're so cute.
- Is it weaved?
89
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,764
I saw "Good Hair" in Afro Studies.
90
00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:30,940
So, what house did you get?
91
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,931
- Oh, Bechet, bitch.
- Of course.
92
00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,884
The mere thought of a Fletcher
anywhere else...
93
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:38,780
Oh, easy.
94
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,020
It was the luck of the draw.
95
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:42,420
Daddy had nothing to do with it.
96
00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:45,580
Besides, if I had to pick
anywhere to be...
97
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:46,980
it would be here.
98
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:48,940
Well, I'm down to switch.
99
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,180
You get your Denzel, I get my Gosling.
100
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:53,725
Oh, I gots mine.
101
00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,409
Do you want to meet him?
102
00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:00,220
Cute, for a black boy.
103
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,162
Hey, Boo!
104
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,620
I want you to meet my friend Coco.
105
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:07,051
She's new to the house.
106
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,660
Hi, I'm Troy.
107
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:12,460
Welcome to Armstrong-Parker...
108
00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,780
home of the dopest dining hall
in all of Winchester.
109
00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:15,820
Are we on duty?
110
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,500
Babe, Head of House is always on duty.
111
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:20,540
Well, I should get going.
112
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,500
Thanks, Sof.
113
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:24,568
- Bye.
- Bye.
114
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,460
So, babe, you think
I got time for a quick cut?
115
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:28,820
You just got it cut last week.
116
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:29,967
It's a black thing, babe.
117
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,340
Since when is OCD a black thang?
118
00:07:33,440 --> 00:07:35,522
Babe, please don't say
"thang" like that.
119
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:38,700
Besides, you have a shift
over at the Politicos booth...
120
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:40,540
and then you have
a shift at Orientation...
121
00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:42,860
and then your advisor is coming over.
122
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:45,088
Okay, you know what?
I'll just wear a hat.
123
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,689
And then a movie maybe?
Just us?
124
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:52,362
Election night.
Babe, come on.
125
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,380
All right.
126
00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,244
Yo, Kurt!
127
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:01,207
- My man.
- All right!
128
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:03,405
Hey, sis.
129
00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:11,540
Is she kidding with this?
130
00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:12,900
You don't have to run again.
131
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,100
Just because it's her doesn't mean...
132
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,340
Babe, I can't let Sam and her
wannabe Black Panthers take the house.
133
00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,980
The house needs me, who I am.
134
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,260
It's who he wants you to be.
135
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,900
So you take a couple
of psych classes and now...
136
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,620
all of a sudden,
you think you're Freud?
137
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:29,100
Oh, a Freud reference?
Sophisticated.
138
00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:34,240
Okay. Beck, Jung, Maslow.
139
00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:37,420
Dear white people, this just in.
140
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:39,921
Dating a black person
to piss off your parents...
141
00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:41,620
is a form of racism.
142
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:42,820
Yo, Troy, I forget.
143
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:45,810
Is your major in shucking
or was it jiving?
144
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,980
Well, my major's in Shuck.
I'm minoring in Jiving...
145
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:52,129
Wow, you're still majoring
in trying to fuck my leftovers, right?
146
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,120
You need a shower.
147
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:29,180
You're like Artie.
148
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:32,980
Dawg, your success ratio
with the ladies went up like 30%...
149
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:34,340
after I started edging you up, dawg.
150
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:36,460
Like, come on! You know?
151
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,927
You went from ODB to Trey Songz!
152
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:44,740
That's his platform? Haircuts?
153
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,410
Oofta is as oofta does.
154
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:48,841
Yes? Someone else is running?
155
00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:51,780
Just because we're colored...
156
00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:54,340
don't mean we run
on colored people time.
157
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:58,980
Boycotting hot combs don't make you
an expert on colored people, Boo.
158
00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:01,890
I care about each
and every single one of you.
159
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,284
I care about this house.
160
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:06,369
So if it ain't broke...
161
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,780
All right, thank you, Troy Fairbanks.
162
00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:20,565
Is this because of us?
163
00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:22,940
Because we broke up over a year ago.
164
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,100
You seriously think you can win?
165
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,020
Troy, we live in a world where
there's a Big Mama's House 3.
166
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:32,205
I don't think I have
a chance in hell. Thank God.
167
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,727
Troy, my brother, it's broke.
168
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,100
Mm-hm.
169
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,680
Troy is a legacy kid...
170
00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,220
and yet it's under his watch...
171
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:02,340
that Armstrong-Parker...
172
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,820
the bastion of black culture here...
173
00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:05,780
was gutted...
174
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:07,860
by the Randomization of Housing Act.
175
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,260
Now, second years of color...
176
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,460
no longer have a say in where they go.
177
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:13,180
The culture that's been fostered...
178
00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:14,900
in this house for two decades...
179
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,060
will be wiped out in two years.
180
00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,220
This wasn't motivated
by a desire to mix things up...
181
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:23,700
bring about racial
and socioeconomic harmony, no.
182
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,660
The black kids are sitting together...
183
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,420
in the proverbial cafeteria...
184
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,780
so they must be up to no good.
185
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:29,820
Yeah! Mm-hm.
186
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:33,811
Over a century of houses
grouped by sports affiliations...
187
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,460
political leanings, majors, you name it.
188
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:39,564
Black kids get their own house
and suddenly we got a problem?
189
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,940
This doesn't affect the other houses
like it does ours.
190
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,740
There are plenty of trustees,
former coaches...
191
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,490
presidents watching out
for the others...
192
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,260
but all we have is a dean
who would rather please his massa...
193
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,940
- Yo, that's enough of that, Sam!
- Then stand up for his own!
194
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,100
Yes! Tell him! Yes!
195
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,940
I know y'all ain't gonna vote for me.
196
00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:58,565
Y'all ain't ready.
197
00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:03,087
The Black Student Union and I
have brought a petition...
198
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,420
to repeal
the Randomization of Housing Act.
199
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:08,660
I plan on bringing it
to the President and together...
200
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,940
we can bring black back to Winchester.
201
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:13,087
Yes!
202
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,930
It'll be by the door.
203
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,660
Quiet!
204
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,524
All right.
205
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,860
I assume everyone has
the app I created by now?
206
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:32,220
It's a child's app.
207
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:35,449
Good.
Voting may commence.
208
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,260
Okay.
209
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,805
Looks like we've got a winner.
210
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,380
Sam White?
211
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:57,860
Oh, shit.
212
00:12:57,960 --> 00:12:59,166
Congratulations.
213
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:16,980
So that's what you're looking for?
214
00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,082
I just want to make
good TV, sweetheart.
215
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:22,124
Well, I think I'd be good TV.
216
00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,260
You're getting a great education
at a great school.
217
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,700
Why don't you just be good at that.
218
00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:31,260
I am.
219
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:34,700
And when I graduate early with an
economics degree from Winchester...
220
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,260
it'll be the crowning achievement...
221
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,660
of my black middle class
parents' ambitions.
222
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,100
Yeah, well, conflict
is a commodity in my industry.
223
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,420
Sam has that. Do you?
224
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,900
So, what?
You want me to start a fight?
225
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,209
I don't want you to do anything
you wouldn't otherwise do.
226
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,282
Hey, you reached Garmin House...
227
00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:01,580
home of Lionel Higgins...
228
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:05,260
the only bitch on campus
who will give you a dickscount.
229
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,020
That's right, hunty,
the bigger the dick...
230
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,930
the less you have to pay me to suck it.
231
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,420
Everything's pretty locked up...
232
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:21,540
but we will find a residence
to move you into.
233
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:25,020
Third time's a charm, right?
234
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,900
What about Armstrong-Parker?
235
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,126
I don't know if that's...
236
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,620
I might have an opening.
237
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,900
That might be good
for you to be around...
238
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,780
Dean, the worst thing
about high school...
239
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:39,441
and believe me, it's a long list,
were the black kids.
240
00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,300
Maybe it's in your head, son.
241
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:47,900
Sure, folks can be intolerant
around people like you.
242
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:48,980
And homosexuals just...
243
00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:51,686
I... I don't believe in labels.
244
00:14:54,240 --> 00:14:55,526
You like jazz, Lionel?
245
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,767
Winchester is like jazz.
246
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:02,340
- It's a research school.
- Andjazz is tension.
247
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:07,500
The interplay of improvised solos...
248
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:11,220
all creating one song.
249
00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,740
Your problem is
you've got no instrument.
250
00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:17,940
No major,
no affiliations, no solo, son.
251
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:19,780
I submit articles
to the independent Observer.
252
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,820
No one reads the independent Observer.
253
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,660
My point is are you playing
swing or bebop?
254
00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:26,020
You're mixing your metaphors.
255
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:27,980
Are you a sax or are you a trumpet?
256
00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:29,491
I don't like jazz.
257
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:35,820
Look, I'll do what I can.
258
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:39,380
But not a word of this
in the Observer, okay?
259
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:40,811
No one reads it, right?
260
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,060
Lionel, right?
261
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:33,500
George. We had Civ last semester.
How's it going?
262
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,060
Oh, yeah. Great,
I mean, good, yeah.
263
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:37,740
Fan of your stuff in the Observer.
264
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,060
No one reads the Observer.
265
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:42,100
Have you seen this?
266
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,100
The residents of Armstrong-Parker
just made her head of house.
267
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,646
Am I crazy or is there a there there?
268
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,020
What made you come over here? I mean...
269
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,122
It's not like I didn't...
I'm glad you came, I just...
270
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,300
My staff.
God bless them.
271
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,700
They are whiter
than Michael Jackson's kids.
272
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,140
I mean, we're fucked
if any one of them...
273
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,140
tries to write this story
and I won't let the transfers...
274
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:03,140
at the Gazette do it first.
275
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,446
Well, this one has his face.
276
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,260
You're in the Black Student Union.
You probably know Sam.
277
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,780
You come up with a good angle...
I want it in the Bugle.
278
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:12,980
- Trumpet.
- Bugle. Focus.
279
00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:14,340
The only paper on campus...
280
00:17:14,440 --> 00:17:16,420
with an advisor
with The New York Times.
281
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,380
Only so many ways a person
can distinguish themselves...
282
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:20,845
at a place like this, Lionel.
283
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:24,643
You're good.
You belong with us.
284
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:41,960
Did you get it?
285
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,460
Good.
286
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,767
You've now got the shared calendar...
287
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,008
contacts, and official email.
288
00:17:54,560 --> 00:18:01,860
And before I forget.
289
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:04,580
- Event requests for the year?
- Just this month.
290
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,740
They all need your approval.
291
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,900
And don't forget
to pick your office hours.
292
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,660
You need at least 20 per week.
293
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,683
That's absurd.
294
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:17,500
Well, you're now head
of a hundred residents.
295
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:20,500
And they all need time
to complain to your face about...
296
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:21,860
noise, leaky pipes...
297
00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,020
gluten-free option
in the cafeteria, etc.
298
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:27,886
Troy, I didn't think I was gonna win.
299
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,260
Look, I'm late for lunch.
300
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,647
By the way,
petitioning the President...
301
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:38,500
on the Randomization of Housing Act...
302
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,460
ain't gonna do shit.
303
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,580
None of the other houses are concerned.
304
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:45,060
Because they all have a legacy
of rich and powerful allies...
305
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,700
who will make sure that "random"
works to their advantage.
306
00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,849
And you really think a petition
is going to change that?
307
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:10,481
Hello?
308
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:19,420
Yeah.
309
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,727
Okay, well, just call me
the minute there's an update.
310
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,140
The Armstrong-Parker dining hall...
311
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,940
is the epicenter of black culture...
312
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,780
as it stands at Winchester.
313
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,980
Only here can you
commiserate, celebrate...
314
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,300
and discuss everything
from Kanye West lyrics...
315
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:40,260
to theoretical relativism
all in a sitting...
316
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:44,126
not to mention find someone
who can actually do your hair.
317
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,340
You still using your ID?
318
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,180
I always forget passwords.
319
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:51,580
You are begging to get hacked.
320
00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:53,580
Good thing the one evil techno-genius...
321
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:55,300
thinking like that is on my side.
322
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,940
We was robbed.
323
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:58,610
That election was suspect, man.
324
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,140
There is this one other sister
in my Relativity class...
325
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,940
and I'll be damned if our professor...
326
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,180
doesn't call me Loretta
every goddamn time.
327
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:06,980
We all look the same.
328
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,780
Programming professor gets me
and Martin here mixed up constantly.
329
00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:10,980
You should be so lucky.
330
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,660
Cute. You get that at Toys "R" Us?
331
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:15,100
The talented tenth always...
332
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,980
has to bust its ass
a little bit harder...
333
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,580
but I don't see what the point is...
334
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,460
in blaming white folks for everything.
335
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:22,980
Who's blaming, Blue Eyes?
336
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,260
I really don't see the issue.
337
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:27,420
Never had one.
Never ran into any lynch mobs.
338
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,820
Lynch mob's still here.
Just re-branded itself.
339
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:32,740
- As what, pray tell?
- The Republican Party.
340
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,500
You want to know
how the world sees you?
341
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,620
You go to a Young
Republican's meeting...
342
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,100
and bring up welfare.
343
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,646
- Or immigration.
- Or gay rights.
344
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:42,407
Bullshit.
345
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:45,460
You have something to add?
346
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,483
Me? Yeah, I do.
347
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:50,180
Look, your biggest athletes, right?
348
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:51,540
Movies stars...
349
00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,860
Hell, guys, my president is black.
350
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,940
Okay, sometimes I think
the hardest thing to be...
351
00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,340
in the American work force right now...
352
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,727
is an educated white guy.
353
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,220
You're not serious?
354
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:06,580
Hey look, you guys
still got affirmative action...
355
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,620
that's all I'm saying.
356
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,500
I'm sorry,
what exactly are you doing here?
357
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,620
All right, check this out.
You ready? Obama, right?
358
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:16,940
Leader of the free world.
359
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,260
He gets into Harvard based on... You!
360
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:22,820
Too late.
Affirmative action.
361
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:26,020
You know who's not president
right now? No?
362
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:27,980
The guy who didn't get in.
363
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:31,580
Well, on behalf
of all the colored folks in the room...
364
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,900
let me apologize to all
the better qualified white students...
365
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,300
whose place we're taking up.
366
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,100
No, it's fine.
We're okay.
367
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,380
I'm sorry, did you get lost?
368
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:40,660
Bechet is that way.
369
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,420
Oh, I know where it is.
I'm actually supposed to eat there.
370
00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:46,460
Yeah, it's just there's... this is the
only dining hall that you can actually...
371
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:48,881
get yourself some chicken and waffles.
372
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,404
Look, you're Dear White People, right?
373
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:55,700
It's funny.
374
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,140
It's funny stuff, it really is.
375
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,100
How have we not staffed you yet?
376
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,020
Oh, me? Oh what?
377
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:03,780
On Pastiche,
your uninspired humor magazine?
378
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:06,340
It's actually much more
than just a magazine, sweetheart.
379
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,780
SNL staff is basically
half Lampoon, half Pastiche.
380
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,620
Same goes for the network comedies.
381
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,580
And what gives you clubhouse kids...
382
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,260
the right to come to our dining hall?
383
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:16,361
You don't live here.
384
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,940
- Sam, what are you doing?
- So you can't eat here.
385
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:20,780
Chill, Sam. Damn, all right?
Let the man...
386
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:22,245
- Got this.
- Got this.
387
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:24,740
Look, who are you to throw me out?
388
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:29,050
Oh! Well, I think
I'm head of this house.
389
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:30,685
And I'm doing things my way.
390
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:33,766
Your way.
391
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:40,605
Excuse me.
392
00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:49,420
Serious question.
Do you know who I am?
393
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,220
Yeah, I know your dad is the president.
394
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:51,860
Good.
395
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:53,620
He's the same one
that has been pushing...
396
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,100
to break up this house for a decade.
397
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,940
What's wrong? Is he afraid that letting
the negros gather in groups...
398
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,780
might start a little rebellion
on his plantation?
399
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:05,329
Oh, well, then you tell him
from me, that he should be.
400
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,570
Yeah. Bad move.
401
00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:14,770
Let's go.
402
00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,249
Excuse me. Sorry.
403
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,248
Excuse us.
404
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:28,884
You, too.
405
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:30,780
Me?
406
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:33,281
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Do you live here?
407
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,369
She the man.
She the man.
408
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:30,287
Dear white people, stop dancing.
409
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:35,286
The fuck?
410
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,940
Yeah, well, conflict
is a commodity in my industry.
411
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,088
Sam has that. Do you?
412
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,340
Welcome, muffins.
413
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,100
So, I hate to do it to you...
414
00:24:57,200 --> 00:25:00,020
but I'm gonna have to get
real black with you for a second.
415
00:25:00,120 --> 00:25:03,660
So the other day, a girl
had the nerve to fix her mouth...
416
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,460
and ask me if my hair was weaved.
417
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:09,060
Weaved?
Really, bitch?
418
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,900
First of all, if you're
going to fix your mouth...
419
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,580
to ask me something like that...
420
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:15,420
say it right, please.
It's weave.
421
00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:18,220
Noun. Present tense.
422
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:20,004
Second of all, don't assume...
423
00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:21,963
just because you see
a sister with some hair...
424
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,340
that it's a weave. Is it?
425
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,140
If a bitch could grow straight Indian hair
directly out of her own head...
426
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,660
she wouldn't have just overdrafted
her account paying for this shit...
427
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,380
but that ain't your business, Boo-Boo.
428
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:33,220
Are those your lips, sweetie?
429
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,180
Is that really your skin?
430
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:36,740
These white girls and their tans...
431
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,740
they're starting
to get darker than me...
432
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,207
which isn't that dark.
433
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,402
Dear white people,
what do I think about it?
434
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,700
Okay. Anyone have any comments...
435
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,644
for Sam's Rebirth of a Nation?
436
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:09,020
- Could I?
- Gabe, go ahead.
437
00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:12,580
I dig the silent movie thing,
but it's a little self-congratulatory.
438
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,020
Light on story...
439
00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:16,500
and frankly thematically dubious.
440
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:17,965
Anyone else?
441
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:21,980
Sam?
442
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:23,380
Before you say anything...
443
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,260
might I remind you
that I sat through...
444
00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:26,964
A Birth of a Nation,
Gone with the Wind...
445
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,140
and Tarantino week without protest.
446
00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,140
Yeah, and might I also
remind you that I read...
447
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:34,260
your entire 15 page,
unsolicited treatise...
448
00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:35,940
on why the Gremlins
is actually about...
449
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:37,820
suburban white fear of black culture.
450
00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:40,980
The gremlins are loud, talk in slang,
are addicted to fried chicken...
451
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:42,660
and freak out
when you get their hair wet.
452
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,525
The only problem that I have
with your film is that it was late.
453
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:47,449
The silent projects were last semester.
454
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:50,100
You were supposed to e-mail me
your sound treatment over the summer.
455
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:52,420
I have radio, BSU...
456
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:53,740
now this Head of House thing.
457
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:55,020
Okay, do you want this?
458
00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:59,100
Look, this thing
might as well be my right hand.
459
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:00,220
I was busy this summer.
460
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,300
Your peers are out getting internships,
making short films.
461
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:05,300
My dad was sick.
462
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:06,620
I had to go home.
463
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:08,140
If you need time, take it.
464
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:09,740
But if you want
to be here next semester...
465
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,060
- I do.
- Pull it together!
466
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:13,525
This is Winchester.
467
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:25,443
Thematically dubious.
468
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,260
Well, what was that supposed
to be about exactly?
469
00:28:30,360 --> 00:28:32,408
You're thematically dubious!
470
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,420
Since when do TA's give critiques?
471
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,780
You invoke minstrelsy
for shock value, to what end?
472
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,060
To invoke the same feeling
I get when I turn on the TV...
473
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,180
and see some so-called reality star
shuck and jive for ratings...
474
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,500
egged on by no doubt white producers.
475
00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:48,900
Or the sassy black secretary...
476
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,180
who has no backstory
or character development...
477
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:52,340
aside from her skin color.
478
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:53,460
So it's a tit for tat?
479
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:55,847
Are you honestly saying
that art can't be reactionary?
480
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:57,980
You're reacting to something
that's 100 years old.
481
00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,380
Because fear of black men
involved in U.S. government...
482
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,220
is a completely antiquated concept.
483
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:03,900
No social relevance today.
484
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,660
I think that sometimes
you should hold...
485
00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:06,980
a mirror up to your audience...
486
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:09,340
rather than dropping
an ideological piano on their head.
487
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,020
I just think that works
that deal with the African Diaspora...
488
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:14,140
through a post-modern lens
are outright rejected...
489
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:15,700
unless handled by a white artist.
490
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:18,500
- African Diaspora?
- Yeah, I said it.
491
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,500
I'm sorry, but blackface
is alive and well in our culture.
492
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:23,220
Who primarily buys hip hop...
493
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:25,129
watches Housewives of Atlanta?
494
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:29,100
The same homogenized images
of black people over and over again?
495
00:29:29,200 --> 00:29:30,340
White people, Gabe.
496
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,100
Who goes to see Tyler Perry movies?
497
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:33,420
We're an underfed community.
498
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,460
None of this changes
the fact that the vibrancy...
499
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,140
the complexity
of black culture has been distilled...
500
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,140
into commodities and marketing schemes
to be bought and sold.
501
00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,180
To the detriment
of the so called "real thing." Got it.
502
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:45,820
It means that I am indistinguishable
from the so called "urban" images...
503
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,620
of black folks used to amuse
and market to white America.
504
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,100
And the commodification of culture
is uniquely oppressive to black people?
505
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:54,100
So when Kanye raps about Louis V...
506
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:55,820
and Rolexes and Classical art...
507
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,900
exactly what exploited pockets
of Black America...
508
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,447
- are those references being mined from?
- From...
509
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:12,811
On your knees.
510
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:36,060
What?
511
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:38,540
You dream in "Cosby" again?
512
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:45,380
My hair was so straight.
My sweater so big.
513
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:46,891
I told you about that?
514
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:31,380
Hey so, this whole
Head of House thing. Congrats?
515
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:36,860
Yeah, it's, it's...
516
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:38,660
Weird, right?
517
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,569
I never took you
as a student politician.
518
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:43,321
Yeah, well...
519
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:48,285
Sam?
520
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:53,729
What are we doing?
521
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:58,529
Fucking.
522
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,580
Dear white people...
523
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:32,700
please stop touching my hair.
524
00:32:32,800 --> 00:32:35,940
Does this look like a
petting zoo to you?
525
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,860
Kurt, it's 3:00.
526
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:41,008
I know it's already 3:00.
527
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:43,925
Yo, can I hit that bottle?
528
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:48,404
Look, we're doing
staff picks at game night.
529
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:50,700
We don't even have a staff yet.
530
00:32:50,800 --> 00:32:52,131
I don't understand...
531
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:54,820
- Why are we even planning this?
- Everybody wants to be on our staff.
532
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:55,921
That's the easy part.
533
00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,540
Look, we're doing
staff picks at game night.
534
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:00,620
RSVPs are already
through the roof on that anyway.
535
00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:02,660
Halloween is our premiere party.
536
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,366
The waitlist is already 100 deep.
537
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,460
Guys, we gotta do something huge...
538
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,380
to outdo this summer.
539
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:21,180
We can always do
East-West hip hop party.
540
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:22,700
Get the honeys up on this piece.
541
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,260
"Honeys." You're from Vermont.
542
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:26,780
Guys, what's the Pastiche motto?
543
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,140
"Sharpen thy sword."
544
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:30,900
You mean to tell me...
545
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,128
our motto is a euphemism
for jerking off?
546
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,660
No. It's a reminder
that satire is the weapon of reason.
547
00:33:36,760 --> 00:33:40,500
So who on campus
is being most unreasonable?
548
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:42,380
You know what it's a reminder to me of?
549
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,300
How gay Gordon is.
550
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,180
- Was that a reasonable attempt...
- What do you want?
551
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:48,580
- At a quip, Mitch?
- Could you say reasonable one more time?
552
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,940
- It makes you sound good.
- Guys, shut up.
553
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:52,380
Knowing Lil' Wayne lyrics...
554
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:54,860
no longer earns you
an honorary black card.
555
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,566
It just reminds me of how often
you say the word "nigga"...
556
00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:59,460
when no one black is around...
557
00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:02,100
as is required in reciting said lyrics.
558
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:03,690
Look at that.
559
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:06,820
God, who does Sam think she is?
560
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:08,780
Seriously, dude, it's like...
561
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,850
Spike Lee and Oprah had
some sort of pissed off baby.
562
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:16,780
Hey.
563
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:20,580
- Uh-huh.
- Can we? Could we?
564
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:22,140
How?
565
00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:23,526
Easy.
566
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:27,940
Hi, Lionel.
What do you want?
567
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:32,060
Lionel, I spoke with the dean today.
568
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:34,100
We had a very
enlightening conversation.
569
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,180
And I just wanted to let you know...
570
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:37,964
I'm sorry about the voice message.
571
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:43,340
Do you accept?
Do you?
572
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:44,300
Please put that away.
573
00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:47,404
Sometimes you just got to talk
to these people in a language...
574
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,460
that they're going to understand.
575
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,086
- Pathetic.
- What was that?
576
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:56,700
All right.
577
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,420
Wherever they ship you off to...
578
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:02,808
be sure to pack
a sense of humor, all right?
579
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,167
The Tip Test.
580
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:28,300
You hit up Jelly's for a snack.
581
00:35:28,400 --> 00:35:31,860
Your waitress mistakes you
for someone who looks like you, black...
582
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:35,060
who once ran up a $30 bill
and left a dollar tip.
583
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,050
You watch all the other
customers order before you do...
584
00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:40,820
Pastrami sandwich on rye.
585
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:45,005
And then proceed to wait no less
than 40 minutes for your food.
586
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:50,940
How do you tip?
587
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:51,848
A.
588
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,340
40 minutes?
She's lucky if she gets 40 cents.
589
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:57,060
Okay, you do a good job,
maybe see a tip.
590
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:58,002
B.
591
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,460
She was tripping, but...
592
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:03,260
15% is the least I can do.
593
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:04,780
Or C.
594
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,486
I reject the stereotype
that African-Americans do not tip.
595
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:11,082
I will leave 20... no, 25,
just to prove that I can.
596
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:19,767
One hundred. Oofta. Nose job.
597
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,051
Dear white people...
598
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:27,740
In a shocking reversal...
599
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,889
using the term "African-American"
is borderline racist now.
600
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,580
It turns out if you're too worried
about political correctness...
601
00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:35,380
to say "black", odds are...
602
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:38,380
you secretly just want
to call us niggers anyway...
603
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:42,300
and truth be told, I'd rather
you just be honest about it.
604
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:43,940
Free speech, my ass.
605
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,380
Oh, Stalin quotes for 200, please?
606
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:47,860
Oh, you're joking about this?
607
00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:49,220
Oh, I'm sorry.
608
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:51,260
Was I supposed to take
"Free speech, my ass"...
609
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:53,020
as a legitimate suggestion?
610
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:54,980
This is your office's issue, Walter.
611
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,780
Especially after that episode
with Kurt in the dining hall.
612
00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:00,500
Oh, all race issues are my issues.
613
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:02,660
This is a student issue...
614
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:04,900
and you are the Dean of Students,
aren't you?
615
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:06,700
The last thing we need...
616
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:08,768
is race war in the papers
across this country.
617
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:11,660
How do you think the donor base
will feel about that?
618
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:14,060
The fundraiser is four weeks away.
619
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,811
How bad is this deficit of yours?
620
00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:18,580
It's worse.
621
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,500
And I want to make
something really clear.
622
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,300
If this gets any bigger at all,
it's on you, Walter.
623
00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,820
- Racism is over in America.
- What?
624
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:28,700
The only people
who are thinking about it are...
625
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:30,484
I don't know...
Mexicans, probably.
626
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:33,044
Come on in, son.
I was just leaving.
627
00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:37,540
President Fletcher.
628
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,608
- You call me Herb, son.
- All right.
629
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:49,140
Fletcher tells me his son
got his ass handed to him.
630
00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:50,162
About time.
631
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:51,965
No, Sam was out of line.
632
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:53,722
Kurt is all right.
633
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,247
Well, but you're supposed
to be better than all right.
634
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:00,940
Since when do we start
losing elections, Troy?
635
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:04,020
Well, Dad, the Housing Act
passing without a fight didn't help.
636
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:05,724
And what did I tell you about excuses?
637
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,980
Pops, my course load is full anyway.
638
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,740
I'm head of Econ. Board...
639
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,922
plus, I'm uh...
640
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:17,928
I'm thinking about joining Pastiche.
641
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:20,500
Pastiche.
642
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:22,250
Yeah, you know,
to help round out the rest.
643
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:26,020
On Kurt Fletcher's staff.
644
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:28,180
I'll be goddamned if after 20 years...
645
00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:30,540
you're working for that dumbass's son.
646
00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:31,740
Yes, sir.
647
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,241
Fletcher and I
graduated one year apart.
648
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,649
He barely made it through.
649
00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:39,740
I graduated summa cum laude.
650
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:41,940
Now who is president and who is dean?
651
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:43,220
What's the difference?
652
00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,380
Oh, a few hundred thousand dollars
a year, for starters.
653
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,164
Understand what I'm saying?
654
00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:53,163
What happened between you and Sam
that she's coming after you now?
655
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,220
Sophia.
656
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:58,940
I mean, you do remember
Sophia, don't you...
657
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:00,740
daughter of the president,
Psych. Major...
658
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:01,940
"Has the whole world
ahead of her, Troy"?
659
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,884
- Watch your tone.
- Sorry, sir.
660
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:08,811
So you lost the house.
661
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,420
Onto the school presidency.
662
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:16,220
It would be good to show
that the campus...
663
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,847
is capable of electing
someone like you...
664
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:21,121
as school president.
665
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,140
Someone like me.
666
00:39:24,240 --> 00:39:26,083
Someone like you.
667
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:53,648
Hey, Babe, hat or no hat?
668
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:57,205
Are you wearing that?
669
00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:59,251
I don't have to be.
670
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,100
Hey, Boo.
671
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:04,540
How about we put...
672
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:08,060
some of your newfound
free time to good use, hm?
673
00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:09,860
It's been a while since we...
674
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:11,860
What is with all this "Boo" stuff?
675
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:13,644
Since you fucked me
with your big, black cock.
676
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,620
It used to turn you on
when I talked like that.
677
00:40:18,720 --> 00:40:20,580
Is it me?
678
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:22,444
Sweetheart, I love you.
679
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:26,140
- Is it Sam?
- Can we please just get ready?
680
00:40:26,240 --> 00:40:28,780
Why? I hate my brother's friends.
681
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:30,740
So you're not going with me.
682
00:40:30,840 --> 00:40:31,980
You'd go without me?
683
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:34,460
But... you're my guest.
684
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:36,180
I mean, you could
just hang out here and I'll...
685
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:38,220
What is it with you and my brother?
686
00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:39,580
Are you in love with him?
687
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:43,020
Is this some, like, DL shit?
688
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:44,326
DL shit?
689
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,729
Wait, Sophia, hold on. Just stay.
690
00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:49,140
- No, I'm not going.
- All right, I'll go with you.
691
00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:51,500
- No.
- I'll-I'll go with you.
692
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,090
Sophia?
693
00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:56,780
Oh, my God.
He did not.
694
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:58,380
- Oh, he did.
- You are so crazy.
695
00:40:58,480 --> 00:40:59,367
Oh, yeah.
696
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,900
I could do better.
697
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,580
Shh, wait, wait. Quiet. Wait, wait.
I want to watch this.
698
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:12,580
If a bitch could grow straight Indian
hair directly out of her own head...
699
00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:14,860
she wouldn't have just overdrafted
her account paying for this shit...
700
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:16,420
but that ain't your business, Boo-Boo.
701
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,180
Oh, my God.
I am so sharing this.
702
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:20,700
Send me the link.
703
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:21,881
I totally will.
704
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:28,768
Who was that?
705
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,360
New staffer, maybe.
706
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:35,961
Don't worry. The negro at the door
is not here to rape you.
707
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,220
So this is what editors do?
708
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:39,620
We're taking a break.
709
00:41:39,720 --> 00:41:41,404
What are you doing here?
710
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:44,980
You said you want me to drop in
and tell you how the story was going.
711
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,660
Like next week.
712
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,500
It's Saturday night.
You don't have anywhere else to be?
713
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:52,860
Well, it was either this
or the new Madea movie.
714
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:55,620
Oh, dear God.
Where does she go this time?
715
00:41:55,720 --> 00:41:56,607
Dialysis?
716
00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:00,969
Man, fuck Tyler Perry.
717
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,500
Yes, can we have a movie
with, you know, characters in them...
718
00:42:03,600 --> 00:42:06,060
instead of stereotypes
wrapped in Christian dogma?
719
00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:08,420
Why is every educated person
inherently evil?
720
00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,580
Why is this nigga in a motherfucking dress
all the motherfucking time?
721
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:13,900
How come the only black movies
Hollywood wants to make...
722
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,740
are ones with black Mamies in fat suits?
723
00:42:15,840 --> 00:42:17,100
Or black women in pain, man?
724
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:19,300
So basically, we got
black people dying in the past...
725
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:20,845
and black people dying in the present.
726
00:42:22,960 --> 00:42:25,201
Most people are here to see Fang 9.
727
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:28,500
It's got 2 Chainz in it.
728
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:30,409
Oh!
729
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:33,300
Would you stop stereotyping yourself
and put that down?
730
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,060
This ain't Friday, man.
731
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:36,940
Okay, whatever.
Yo, Sam...
732
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:39,980
We gotta... we gotta talk
about this protest, girl.
733
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:44,100
When are we taking the housing fight
to the president?
734
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:46,340
House folded on sponsoring the rally.
735
00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:47,700
What do we need a sponsor for?
736
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,420
Demonstrations that aren't sponsored
by a house can get shut down.
737
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:53,100
What about the house
that you're head of?
738
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:55,660
Hey, Sam, I read Ebony and Ivy.
739
00:43:55,760 --> 00:43:58,980
What's with the "oofta"
and "nose job" and "100" stuff?
740
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:00,860
You want me to break it down for you?
741
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:02,041
Yeah.
742
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:04,100
You want to know
an ideal Friday in my world?
743
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,220
A fifth of whiskey
and my T-Bone Walker records.
744
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:08,924
Real talk.
745
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,380
Yo, I'm sorry.
746
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:12,220
Who the fuck is T-Bone Walker?
747
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,140
Only the most influential pioneer...
748
00:44:15,240 --> 00:44:18,540
of electric and jump blues, bro.
Know your roots, player.
749
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:22,260
There are only a few ways colored folks
can survive at a place like this.
750
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:25,020
White folks always be on stuff,
like, decades too late...
751
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,380
and then y'all want to try to act
like you discovered some shit.
752
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:30,370
An "oofta" is a jazz-age term...
753
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:34,060
for Bojangle types
who blacked it up for white audiences.
754
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:36,140
Rock, jazz, blues.
755
00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:37,620
Nigga, what you got on right now?
756
00:44:37,720 --> 00:44:39,820
Some PE.
Public Enemy, my nig...
757
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:42,260
No! Mm-mm.
758
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:42,980
Watch that, man.
759
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:44,180
Hey, you just called him.
760
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:47,140
Look, y'all get country clubs.
761
00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:48,685
We get to say "nigger".
762
00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:54,580
An oofta modulates his blackness
up or down depending on the crowd...
763
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:55,980
and what he wants from them.
764
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:58,100
What about golf, man?
765
00:44:58,200 --> 00:44:59,540
Or all of our girls?
766
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:00,940
What do you mean, all your girls?
767
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:03,500
Well, there's O.J.
There's Wesley Snipes.
768
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:05,220
There's Tiger Woods.
769
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,020
- Troy over here.
- Exactly.
770
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,700
No, there's a word for that. Okay?
771
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:12,100
"Reparation."
772
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:14,043
Forty white bitches and a mule.
773
00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,500
You know, I think Troy would be great
for the talk show...
774
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:18,647
don't you think, Kurt?
775
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:23,880
I fold.
776
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:29,900
Okay, and a nose job is a wannabe?
777
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:31,180
Sort of.
778
00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:33,180
- Have you seen this?
- No.
779
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:35,220
Dear white people using Instagram.
780
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:38,300
You have an iPhone and you go on hikes.
781
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:40,846
I get it.
782
00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:45,020
Nose jobs smooth their black edges
and try to blend in.
783
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:46,300
What's up, Mama?
784
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,528
Mm, don't talk like that.
785
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:49,980
Don't I know you from somewhere?
786
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:51,340
Hey, where do I know you from?
787
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:53,540
She was in the video.
788
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:56,180
- Oh, yeah, video girl.
- Check it out.
789
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:58,180
I hate to do it to you,
but I'm going to have to get...
790
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:00,100
real black with you for a second.
791
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,980
A nose job's worst fear
is that their blackness...
792
00:46:03,080 --> 00:46:05,980
might cause a fuss
or draw undue attention...
793
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:08,048
so they use it to self-deprecate.
794
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:09,580
These white girls and their tans...
795
00:46:09,680 --> 00:46:11,460
they're starting to
get darker than me...
796
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,289
which isn't that dark.
797
00:46:14,320 --> 00:46:18,060
Hmm, 40,000 views already.
798
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:20,540
Looks like somebody
submitted you on Buzzfeed.
799
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:22,420
You're blowing up.
800
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:25,220
Hey, you want me to get you
a refill or something?
801
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:27,561
Let me guess.
802
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:29,860
You're from Ohio.
803
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,060
No, I'm actually from Vermont.
804
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:34,060
But the west side.
805
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,322
So what's your beef
with Dear White People?
806
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:42,020
Dear White People,
how do I feel about it?
807
00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,380
It's blacker-than-thou propaganda...
808
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:48,087
from a bougie Lisa Bonet wannabe
who smells like patchouli.
809
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,820
But frankly, I can't believe
we're letting Sam get away with it.
810
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:52,340
That's awesome.
811
00:46:52,440 --> 00:46:53,700
Seriously.
812
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:54,820
That's good.
That's nice.
813
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:55,740
And 100?
814
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:57,780
Just keeping it 100.
815
00:46:57,880 --> 00:46:59,928
Just being black as hell, just 'cause.
816
00:47:01,720 --> 00:47:03,540
What about just being yourself?
817
00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:04,687
Like I said.
818
00:47:05,000 --> 00:47:08,780
- You don't mind, do you?
- Of course not.
819
00:47:08,880 --> 00:47:11,340
There are only a few ways
colored folks can survive...
820
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:12,487
at a place like this.
821
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:13,620
All right, so then what?
822
00:47:13,720 --> 00:47:15,260
So then Sam says...
823
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:17,060
"ls Daddy scared that the negroes...
824
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,020
are going to start a rebellion
on the plantation?"
825
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:22,283
- To Kurt Fletcher.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
826
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:24,100
Okay, we've got a news item.
827
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:26,540
But there's something bigger here.
828
00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:28,940
It's a profile piece...
829
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:31,540
on Armstrong-Parker
and Sam White's pseudo revolution.
830
00:47:31,640 --> 00:47:32,860
What's the headline?
831
00:47:32,960 --> 00:47:35,964
An outdated nationalist
seeks purpose, starts race war?
832
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:39,849
Beer is in the corner.
833
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:41,420
We'll bang out the news item tonight...
834
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:43,522
and we'll work on
the profile piece next week.
835
00:47:50,240 --> 00:47:53,562
Yo, man.
836
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:55,820
Now you know
I wasn't talking about Soph...
837
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:57,940
with that whole 40 bitches thing, man.
838
00:47:58,040 --> 00:47:59,460
- I was just, you know...
- Just what?
839
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:01,620
Just trying to get on my staff?
840
00:48:01,720 --> 00:48:04,460
- I mean, I haven't really thought...
- Come on, bullshit.
841
00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:07,340
Look, game night is when we make
our bids for the new staff, okay?
842
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:08,620
That's why this guy is here...
843
00:48:08,720 --> 00:48:11,087
and why everybody's here.
844
00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:13,180
I just think having good hair...
845
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:16,380
and carrying on
with a degree of sophistication...
846
00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:18,140
doesn't make me a traitor to the race.
847
00:48:18,240 --> 00:48:20,100
Absolutely.
848
00:48:20,200 --> 00:48:21,980
You want to know why they
used to call me Black Mitch?
849
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,020
- Absolutely.
- Nobody called you that.
850
00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:25,620
Come on, what were you
doing back there?
851
00:48:25,720 --> 00:48:27,300
You're-you're practically sitting there.
852
00:48:27,400 --> 00:48:29,140
You're about like to bust out
some kind of tap dance.
853
00:48:29,240 --> 00:48:31,180
Come on, man.
I'm a Poli-Sci major, bro.
854
00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:33,140
- I just came to hang out.
- It doesn't matter.
855
00:48:33,240 --> 00:48:37,100
Either way. Look, either way
my staff, they like you.
856
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:38,884
A lot.
857
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:42,961
But you don't.
858
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,300
Look, this thing with you and Soph...
859
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:49,208
I'm good to her.
860
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:50,526
It doesn't matter.
861
00:48:52,240 --> 00:48:54,049
Our dads have been playing
this chess match...
862
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:56,860
off and on since 1972.
863
00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:58,620
What and Sophie is the white queen?
864
00:48:58,720 --> 00:49:01,041
You're a pawn, Troy.
865
00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:04,603
And maybe it's time
you got off the board.
866
00:49:08,280 --> 00:49:10,980
Here's the deal.
Every year we throw a party.
867
00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:13,606
Right? The whole point is to mock...
868
00:49:13,720 --> 00:49:17,100
the self-important and moronic entities
of the campus.
869
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:20,300
Now, one way to get staffed...
870
00:49:20,400 --> 00:49:22,402
is to write an invite for the party.
871
00:49:22,520 --> 00:49:25,420
Our invites, they're-
they're freaking legendary.
872
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:27,980
You know, every year we make the Gawker.
We make the Post.
873
00:49:28,080 --> 00:49:29,241
Tons of blogs.
874
00:49:29,360 --> 00:49:30,580
The important thing is...
875
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:34,260
is if your invite is the one
that is picked to be sent out...
876
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:38,140
then you're guaranteed
a spot on our staff.
877
00:49:38,240 --> 00:49:40,580
Okay.
878
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:42,180
So what is this year's theme?
879
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:44,380
It's...
880
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:45,940
I don't know.
881
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:47,460
Your party is, like, two weeks away.
882
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:48,180
Yeah, I know.
883
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:50,726
Kurt, I want you to meet someone.
884
00:49:52,240 --> 00:49:53,526
You know Coco?
885
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:56,489
You guys got a party coming up?
886
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:03,444
Got to rally, Sam.
Time is now.
887
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:04,460
Reggie, use your head.
888
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:06,860
Do you really think that a rally
is going to change things?
889
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:09,980
It will do a hell of a lot more
than a radio show with views on YouTube.
890
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:11,780
Oh, okay.
891
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:15,700
Look... We got power.
892
00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:18,180
Okay? And it's time we use it.
893
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:19,420
We earned it.
894
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:20,620
We? Oh, that's funny...
895
00:50:20,720 --> 00:50:23,326
'cause I didn't see you
running for shit, Reggie.
896
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:30,245
Sam.
897
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:42,180
- Really?
- Tired.
898
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:44,009
Don't one word me.
899
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:56,260
Did we go too far?
900
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:58,700
Did we pass Armstrong-Parker?
901
00:50:58,800 --> 00:51:02,700
No, I'm Garmin.
902
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:04,820
Fancy.
903
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:06,780
Why do you always got to...
904
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:08,882
snap at me all the time?
905
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:11,260
I'm around you 24/7 like a lapdog...
906
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:14,100
and I don't even really be messing
with no redbone chicks like that.
907
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:15,060
Don't call me that.
908
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:16,980
Girl, I thought you was
Puerto Rican when I met you.
909
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:17,860
Oh, okay.
910
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:19,500
Oh, you can dish it,
but you can't take it?
911
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:21,125
No, I'm taking my ass home.
912
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:25,762
George...
913
00:51:26,720 --> 00:51:29,820
I'm not really down with Sam...
914
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:31,420
and I'm not in the BSU.
915
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:33,620
I got kicked out of Armstrong-Parker...
916
00:51:33,720 --> 00:51:35,165
same as Kurt.
917
00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:40,220
But I'm going to write a good article.
918
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:41,401
Okay?
919
00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:43,500
Come on, Sam.
920
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:45,967
You know how I feel about you.
921
00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:48,300
How am I supposed to know
how you feel about me?
922
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:49,970
You know what?
923
00:51:51,240 --> 00:51:52,980
Forgive me if I see something in you...
924
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:55,128
something inspiring.
925
00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:01,003
Some folks like me can get behind.
926
00:52:48,960 --> 00:52:51,008
Tell me you'll set up the rally.
927
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:57,489
I'll set up the rally.
928
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:01,161
- Absolutely.
- Right? I think so.
929
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:03,180
I think...
I think it's bold.
930
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:05,380
I think it's ironic.
931
00:53:05,480 --> 00:53:07,050
I think it's everything we need...
932
00:53:07,160 --> 00:53:08,820
and don't tell me I'm the only one...
933
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:11,620
that thinks Sam White's little movement
needs to be cut down to size.
934
00:53:11,720 --> 00:53:13,220
- Right, right?
- Yep.
935
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:15,580
Beautiful. Mitch?
936
00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:17,380
You got your hip-hop party, man.
937
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:19,780
Bolly, bolly.
938
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:21,020
I'm telling you, man.
939
00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:22,460
This is going to be huge.
940
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:24,820
Fucking epic.
941
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:26,460
If you'll excuse us...
942
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:28,260
we will be in touch.
943
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:29,900
Troy...
944
00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:31,604
get off the board, man.
945
00:53:37,160 --> 00:53:38,685
It was nice seeing you again.
946
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:41,205
Where's Sophia?
947
00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:45,049
I have no idea.
948
00:53:46,680 --> 00:53:48,603
Can't wait to see what story
you come up with.
949
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:52,285
Night, Lionel.
950
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:04,048
Ah-ah-ah-ah.
951
00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:05,964
Party is not over.
952
00:54:06,720 --> 00:54:09,060
It's two o'clock in the morning.
953
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:11,100
Sorry, bro.
954
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:12,645
Invitation only.
955
00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:44,530
Trouble in paradise?
956
00:54:48,240 --> 00:54:50,004
Figures.
957
00:54:53,840 --> 00:54:55,260
Nothing.
958
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:58,260
I'm sure you have something else...
959
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:02,900
fair and petite and fair...
960
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:04,650
lined up for that drink.
961
00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:09,489
And what's that supposed to mean?
962
00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:17,940
Oh, no, really, it's fine.
963
00:55:18,040 --> 00:55:20,520
I'm not even really
into black dudes anyway.
964
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:29,420
Coco, huh?
965
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:31,740
Colandrea doesn't exactly...
966
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:34,100
pass the resume test, you know?
967
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:37,020
Can you fucking die?
968
00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:39,940
I mean, my parents really
should have just named me...
969
00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:43,886
Ghetto-ass Hoodrat-ass Aneisha.
970
00:55:56,000 --> 00:56:00,660
Do you indulge?
971
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:02,489
You know, it is 10 A.M.
972
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,090
I don't mess with that stuff.
973
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:10,881
You sure you don't like black guys?
974
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:14,260
Girl like me is just a placeholder...
975
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:16,886
for y'all at a place like this.
976
00:56:17,240 --> 00:56:18,740
I'm not like that.
977
00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:20,660
I don't think Sam would agree.
978
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:22,940
Poor thing.
979
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:25,691
She was light-skinned and everything.
980
00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:31,126
Hell, I said it wasn't like that.
981
00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:34,580
All right?
982
00:56:34,680 --> 00:56:37,620
My Pops, he wanted me
with Fletcher's daughter.
983
00:56:37,720 --> 00:56:41,460
Those two have been in competition
with each other ever since they went here.
984
00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:44,420
He's not going to like you running
with those Pastiche boys, is he?
985
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:47,220
If I even get tapped.
986
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:48,810
You will.
987
00:56:50,200 --> 00:56:51,440
You should do it.
988
00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:54,100
They all land somewhere big...
989
00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:56,521
some before they even graduate.
990
00:56:57,400 --> 00:56:59,860
I've seen you in front
of a crowd, Troy.
991
00:56:59,960 --> 00:57:02,361
I bet you could be famous.
992
00:57:02,480 --> 00:57:04,084
So is that what you want?
993
00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:07,445
To be famous?
994
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:15,340
I want people...
995
00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:17,380
to know my name.
996
00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:19,528
Which one?
997
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:33,300
"We want you.
998
00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:36,643
"Come by Ellington
tomorrow at eight."
999
00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:41,444
Anything?
1000
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:44,240
Thanks.
1001
00:57:57,640 --> 00:58:00,484
You're going to have to stand up
to him sooner or later.
1002
00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:11,284
You said you loved me.
1003
00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:16,683
I like you a lot.
1004
00:58:23,320 --> 00:58:25,100
What do you do...
1005
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:28,020
when you go in the bathroom?
1006
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:30,282
Or is it just to get away from me?
1007
00:58:34,080 --> 00:58:37,340
I smoke weed.
1008
00:58:37,440 --> 00:58:39,681
And I write jokes.
1009
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:41,526
- What the hell are you doing here?
- This is my apartment.
1010
00:59:41,640 --> 00:59:43,369
Like hell it is.
1011
00:59:44,320 --> 00:59:47,180
- Dean said this was the only opening.
- Well, head of house doesn't share.
1012
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:49,362
But you're not head of house.
1013
01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:14,884
Yo, come on, guys.
Are you serious?
1014
01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:18,851
All right, all right,
I think they've had enough.
1015
01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:44,740
Hello.
1016
01:00:44,840 --> 01:00:46,140
Finally made it in.
1017
01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:47,620
You moved around a lot, right?
1018
01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:49,220
You must have been terrified...
1019
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:51,700
when you saw Armstrong-Parker
written on your moving assignment.
1020
01:00:51,800 --> 01:00:53,220
I was just finishing up.
1021
01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:56,500
- Do black people scare you?
- No.
1022
01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:58,420
You're too scared
to even ask anyone for a cut.
1023
01:00:58,520 --> 01:00:59,726
I'm growing it out.
1024
01:00:59,840 --> 01:01:01,340
He's growing it out.
1025
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:04,100
You're fostering an ecosystem.
1026
01:01:04,200 --> 01:01:06,340
My man, how come you never come to BSU?
1027
01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:09,860
I listen to Mumford & Sons
and watch Robert Altman movies.
1028
01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:11,620
You really think
I'm black enough for the Union?
1029
01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:14,740
Yeah, I love Robert Altman.
1030
01:01:14,840 --> 01:01:16,220
Fucker goes in.
1031
01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:17,620
All right.
1032
01:01:17,720 --> 01:01:20,300
We're not all homophobes,
you know, black folks.
1033
01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:22,060
I'm listening to Frank Ocean right now.
1034
01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:23,300
I don't give a fuck.
1035
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:25,300
I'm-I'm late for class.
1036
01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:28,340
Look, you're the new black voice
of the Bugle.
1037
01:01:28,440 --> 01:01:30,568
We're just trying to figure out
if you're a friend or a foe.
1038
01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:33,408
We got to protect our girl.
1039
01:01:35,240 --> 01:01:36,900
I'm not even on staff.
1040
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:38,420
I mean, I have to make good
on my assignment.
1041
01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:40,460
Assignment, what's the story?
1042
01:01:40,560 --> 01:01:43,260
It's a profile piece
on black culture here at Winchester.
1043
01:01:43,360 --> 01:01:45,328
Which you are so clearly an expert on.
1044
01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:48,820
Tell me, man. What's harder?
Being black enough for the black kids...
1045
01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:50,251
or black enough for the white ones?
1046
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:53,170
Being neither.
1047
01:01:58,520 --> 01:01:59,760
Really, Sam?
1048
01:02:39,120 --> 01:02:40,406
Running late...
1049
01:02:42,240 --> 01:02:43,366
for your little rally?
1050
01:02:45,240 --> 01:02:47,420
Forget your sign?
1051
01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:50,500
You honestly think this is in the spirit
of Armstrong-Parker house?
1052
01:02:50,600 --> 01:02:53,500
The role of counterculture
is to wake up the mainstream.
1053
01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:55,260
I have furniture older than you.
1054
01:02:55,360 --> 01:02:56,980
Counterculture?
1055
01:02:57,080 --> 01:02:59,060
Is that what you think this is?
1056
01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:01,340
- Your little show?
- What about my show?
1057
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:03,780
Your show is racist.
1058
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:05,380
Black people can't be racist.
1059
01:03:05,480 --> 01:03:08,020
Prejudiced, yes, but not racist.
1060
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:11,060
Racism describes a system
of disadvantage based on race.
1061
01:03:11,160 --> 01:03:12,420
Black people can't be racist...
1062
01:03:12,520 --> 01:03:15,180
since we don't stand
to benefit from such a system.
1063
01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:17,408
Your antics are making press, Sam.
1064
01:03:17,520 --> 01:03:21,020
And press like this keeps men
like President Fletcher up at night.
1065
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:22,700
Warm milk?
1066
01:03:22,800 --> 01:03:24,540
He's building a file on you.
1067
01:03:24,640 --> 01:03:27,660
Okay, it's not my fault that your son
couldn't beat me in an election.
1068
01:03:27,760 --> 01:03:29,820
I'm sure it was tough growing up...
1069
01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:31,900
wondering which side you fit into.
1070
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:34,810
Feeling like you have
to overcompensate, perhaps.
1071
01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:42,260
If that's true, Dean...
1072
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:43,646
I'm not the only one.
1073
01:03:56,840 --> 01:03:58,620
Hey, hey, hey, brother.
1074
01:03:58,720 --> 01:04:00,529
There you are.
1075
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:03,340
That one over there.
1076
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:04,726
And that one over there.
1077
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:08,540
There you are.
1078
01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:09,900
Thought we were supposed
to start at 12, right?
1079
01:04:10,000 --> 01:04:11,540
Yeah, I told you I had class.
1080
01:04:11,640 --> 01:04:13,260
This is going up on Gillespie.
1081
01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:15,169
It's good, right?
1082
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:19,700
Oh, what's this?
1083
01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:21,540
Yo, you ain't getting cold feet.
1084
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:24,803
No, but...
how long do I have to talk?
1085
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:27,140
You're kidding me, right?
1086
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:28,685
It's sort of the keynote.
1087
01:04:31,040 --> 01:04:33,460
Look, Reggie, I think that the whole
Malcolm X thing is more your lane.
1088
01:04:33,560 --> 01:04:34,340
I'm just not...
1089
01:04:34,440 --> 01:04:36,488
These people came here to see you, Sam.
1090
01:04:36,600 --> 01:04:39,251
Grab a bullhorn, turn it on.
1091
01:04:55,160 --> 01:04:57,970
Hi. No, I'm kind of in the middle...
1092
01:05:02,200 --> 01:05:03,440
Okay...
1093
01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:10,967
Okay.
1094
01:05:19,840 --> 01:05:21,001
Okay.
1095
01:05:31,600 --> 01:05:32,886
I got to...
1096
01:05:34,640 --> 01:05:35,562
You ready?
1097
01:05:45,280 --> 01:05:46,611
Sam.
1098
01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:51,060
Sam!
1099
01:05:51,160 --> 01:05:53,100
Sam, you have our protest permits!
1100
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:54,440
Sam.
1101
01:05:57,520 --> 01:05:58,020
Sam.
1102
01:05:58,120 --> 01:05:59,740
Do you want me to tell him to go?
1103
01:05:59,840 --> 01:06:03,180
- You're so tough.
- I will.
1104
01:06:03,280 --> 01:06:04,940
No, I want you to wait
until they've gone...
1105
01:06:05,040 --> 01:06:06,540
and then I want you to head home.
1106
01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:08,100
I'm trying to be here for you.
1107
01:06:08,200 --> 01:06:09,860
Can you be somewhere else for me?
1108
01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:12,167
Sam, we know you're home.
We just want to talk.
1109
01:06:12,280 --> 01:06:13,884
What do you see in him?
1110
01:06:16,240 --> 01:06:18,720
The only eligible
single brother on campus.
1111
01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:22,740
Okay, okay.
1112
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:24,922
No, I get it. Your parents
owned in Harlem, or something, right?
1113
01:06:25,040 --> 01:06:26,700
You watched
Do The Right Thing in high school...
1114
01:06:26,800 --> 01:06:28,700
and now you just want
to prove that you're down.
1115
01:06:28,800 --> 01:06:29,500
I want to be down?
1116
01:06:29,600 --> 01:06:31,100
How long does it take
to get your hair like that?
1117
01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:33,460
Yo, Sam, open the door.
1118
01:06:33,560 --> 01:06:36,260
I will call you tomorrow, Reggie!
1119
01:06:36,360 --> 01:06:37,820
Damn.
1120
01:06:37,920 --> 01:06:39,260
You don't understand.
Girls like me...
1121
01:06:39,360 --> 01:06:41,100
What, have to pick a side?
1122
01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:43,100
I'm sick of your tragic mulatto
bullshit, Sam.
1123
01:06:43,200 --> 01:06:44,440
You can't say "mulatto."
1124
01:06:44,560 --> 01:06:45,740
Mulatto, mulatto, mulatto!
1125
01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:47,060
Did somebody say "mulatto"?
1126
01:06:47,160 --> 01:06:48,740
Window. Go out the window.
1127
01:06:48,840 --> 01:06:50,460
I'm sorry if I can't be
your Nubian prince...
1128
01:06:50,560 --> 01:06:52,380
on my black horse ready to take you
back to fucking Zumunda.
1129
01:06:52,480 --> 01:06:53,940
That's not a real African country.
1130
01:06:54,040 --> 01:06:57,123
Can I at least get a little credit for
a solid Coming to America reference?
1131
01:06:59,760 --> 01:07:01,180
This isn't you, Sam.
1132
01:07:01,280 --> 01:07:03,521
No? And who am I?
1133
01:07:04,680 --> 01:07:06,940
You're this... girl.
1134
01:07:07,040 --> 01:07:08,420
Perceptive.
1135
01:07:08,520 --> 01:07:11,220
Who likes to argue with me
about every fucking thing.
1136
01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:13,820
And I hate it, because we both know
you're smarter than me.
1137
01:07:13,920 --> 01:07:16,100
Your favorite director is Bergman...
1138
01:07:16,200 --> 01:07:18,260
but you tell people it's Spike Lee.
1139
01:07:18,360 --> 01:07:20,740
You love bebop, but you've
got a thing for Taylor Swift.
1140
01:07:20,840 --> 01:07:22,780
I know, because my Mac
picks up your Mac's library.
1141
01:07:22,880 --> 01:07:23,620
I was so careful.
1142
01:07:23,720 --> 01:07:26,300
You like to watch me
when you think I'm sleeping...
1143
01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:28,100
and trace the outlines of my face.
1144
01:07:28,200 --> 01:07:29,620
We're ready to go, man!
1145
01:07:29,720 --> 01:07:31,609
You're more Banksy than Barack...
1146
01:07:31,720 --> 01:07:35,060
but you've been co-opted as some sort
of revolutionary leader or something?
1147
01:07:35,160 --> 01:07:36,540
But really?
1148
01:07:36,640 --> 01:07:38,260
You're an anarchist...
1149
01:07:38,360 --> 01:07:41,500
shit starter, a beautiful filmmaker.
1150
01:07:41,600 --> 01:07:43,380
And beautiful...
1151
01:07:43,480 --> 01:07:44,561
in general.
1152
01:07:54,440 --> 01:07:56,980
Yeah.
1153
01:07:57,080 --> 01:07:58,605
Yeah?
1154
01:08:00,760 --> 01:08:01,966
Yeah?
1155
01:08:04,600 --> 01:08:06,125
Okay, get some sleep.
1156
01:08:10,080 --> 01:08:11,570
Everything all right?
1157
01:08:14,840 --> 01:08:16,763
His condition is stable.
1158
01:08:18,480 --> 01:08:20,860
Good.
1159
01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:22,962
That's good, Sam.
1160
01:08:24,400 --> 01:08:25,765
Open the door!
1161
01:08:27,440 --> 01:08:28,700
Sam!
1162
01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:30,700
Gabe...
1163
01:08:30,800 --> 01:08:32,370
What?
1164
01:08:38,600 --> 01:08:40,090
Sorry.
1165
01:08:53,640 --> 01:08:55,900
Your video is picking up steam.
1166
01:08:56,000 --> 01:08:57,729
I told you I was good TV.
1167
01:09:00,000 --> 01:09:01,700
Yeah, the show I'm scouting for...
1168
01:09:01,800 --> 01:09:03,300
is called Black Face, White Place.
1169
01:09:03,400 --> 01:09:05,220
It's a reality, like true life.
1170
01:09:05,320 --> 01:09:07,580
Every episode focuses
on a different one of us...
1171
01:09:07,680 --> 01:09:08,920
and the ceiling.
1172
01:09:09,040 --> 01:09:10,420
Interesting.
1173
01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:13,100
Interesting?
1174
01:09:13,200 --> 01:09:15,140
You think they want
interesting, dignified stories...
1175
01:09:15,240 --> 01:09:17,500
of triumph and survival? No.
1176
01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:20,020
They want the authentic
urban experience...
1177
01:09:20,120 --> 01:09:21,645
which is basically network talk...
1178
01:09:21,760 --> 01:09:23,524
for bitching and weeping.
1179
01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:28,420
I'm telling you this
because the network wants...
1180
01:09:28,520 --> 01:09:30,700
to pick a certain subject
to go to series.
1181
01:09:30,800 --> 01:09:34,180
We've got one episode,
one shot at that subject...
1182
01:09:34,280 --> 01:09:37,011
- so if we do this...
- We do it all the way.
1183
01:09:38,440 --> 01:09:40,900
Guessing Sam turned you down?
1184
01:09:41,000 --> 01:09:42,540
I think so. She called me...
1185
01:09:42,640 --> 01:09:45,220
a bojangling oofta, whatever that means.
1186
01:09:45,320 --> 01:09:47,380
40,000 views, that's good...
1187
01:09:47,480 --> 01:09:48,700
but it's not great.
1188
01:09:48,800 --> 01:09:51,140
Well, I'm about to get a whole lot more.
1189
01:09:51,240 --> 01:09:53,980
Look, we don't have anybody...
1190
01:09:54,080 --> 01:09:56,540
like you and you had
a great idea, so we...
1191
01:09:56,640 --> 01:09:59,060
I want to emcee it.
1192
01:09:59,160 --> 01:09:59,980
Your party.
1193
01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:04,020
Okay. Okay, well...
1194
01:10:04,120 --> 01:10:05,940
Look, we're here to talk to you
about what we want.
1195
01:10:06,040 --> 01:10:07,380
You want me.
1196
01:10:07,480 --> 01:10:09,140
And in order to get me...
1197
01:10:09,240 --> 01:10:11,100
you have to let me emcee your party.
1198
01:10:11,200 --> 01:10:14,020
Oh, and I'd also like to do
a live video blog...
1199
01:10:14,120 --> 01:10:15,100
for my web series.
1200
01:10:15,200 --> 01:10:16,500
Are they going to let you do that?
1201
01:10:16,600 --> 01:10:18,329
They've got to.
1202
01:10:18,440 --> 01:10:19,540
They need me.
1203
01:10:19,640 --> 01:10:20,900
Without me...
1204
01:10:21,000 --> 01:10:23,980
you guys look like a bunch
of privileged assholes.
1205
01:10:24,080 --> 01:10:26,540
Right, well, we don't...
we don't really let people...
1206
01:10:26,640 --> 01:10:28,500
"video blog" our-our events.
1207
01:10:28,600 --> 01:10:30,580
Well...
1208
01:10:30,680 --> 01:10:33,650
you got a week to put
this thing together, Boo-Boo.
1209
01:10:36,080 --> 01:10:37,940
So what's it going to be?
1210
01:10:38,040 --> 01:10:39,485
You look surprised.
1211
01:10:41,720 --> 01:10:45,940
It's just not everyone
is as camera ready as you are.
1212
01:10:46,040 --> 01:10:48,520
Get your game on
for only $3.99 a month.
1213
01:10:50,200 --> 01:10:51,900
The important thing is...
1214
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:53,980
if your invite is the
one that is picked...
1215
01:10:54,080 --> 01:10:56,845
to be sent out, then you are guaranteed
a spot on our staff.
1216
01:10:58,960 --> 01:11:01,180
...for a low, low price.
1217
01:11:01,280 --> 01:11:04,489
The sci-fi marathon
continues right now.
1218
01:11:15,120 --> 01:11:17,100
Just over nine minutes to go
in this quarter.
1219
01:11:17,200 --> 01:11:19,043
They need to score on this drive.
1220
01:11:21,200 --> 01:11:22,611
Looking for the blitz, but he...
1221
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:40,206
Troy, come on in.
1222
01:11:40,840 --> 01:11:43,650
Martin, share with Troy
what you've just shared with me.
1223
01:11:45,520 --> 01:11:48,980
The server that processes the voting
results for house elections...
1224
01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:51,048
has shut down the AP database.
1225
01:11:51,160 --> 01:11:52,820
Apparently, the intermediary program...
1226
01:11:52,920 --> 01:11:54,620
is on a refractile loop.
1227
01:11:54,720 --> 01:11:57,300
I'm a Poli-Sci major, man.
1228
01:11:57,400 --> 01:12:00,580
Sam currently has 445 votes.
1229
01:12:00,680 --> 01:12:05,100
That's 200 more than she had
last week during the actual election.
1230
01:12:05,200 --> 01:12:06,460
She cheated.
1231
01:12:06,560 --> 01:12:08,100
She hacked the system.
1232
01:12:08,200 --> 01:12:10,860
I wouldn't even know how
to do a thing like that.
1233
01:12:10,960 --> 01:12:14,060
Is this little war of yours
really so important?
1234
01:12:14,160 --> 01:12:17,180
Look, I understand the pressure to stand
for something in an institution like this...
1235
01:12:17,280 --> 01:12:19,900
but you're barking up
the wrong tree. Okay?
1236
01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:21,580
It had to have been Reggie.
1237
01:12:21,680 --> 01:12:23,284
Guy's in my programming class.
1238
01:12:23,400 --> 01:12:27,060
Good, just forgot
to turn his program off.
1239
01:12:27,160 --> 01:12:29,380
Wow.
1240
01:12:29,480 --> 01:12:31,403
You are the rightful head of house.
1241
01:12:33,840 --> 01:12:35,420
So great.
1242
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:38,580
Martin, let me speak to Troy for a bit.
1243
01:12:38,680 --> 01:12:41,420
I appreciate this.
1244
01:12:41,520 --> 01:12:44,380
Your advisor tells me that you're
hanging on by a thread in your major.
1245
01:12:44,480 --> 01:12:48,860
Maybe it's time for you to reprioritize.
1246
01:12:48,960 --> 01:12:51,140
You're trying to frighten me...
1247
01:12:51,240 --> 01:12:54,340
but I think you're the
one who is scared.
1248
01:12:54,440 --> 01:12:57,620
And I think that you long for days...
1249
01:12:57,720 --> 01:13:00,740
when blacks were hanging from trees
and denied actual rights.
1250
01:13:00,840 --> 01:13:04,660
That way you would have something
to actually fight against.
1251
01:13:04,760 --> 01:13:06,740
You'll be facing two hearings
in the coming weeks...
1252
01:13:06,840 --> 01:13:09,100
that could end in either
a suspension or probation.
1253
01:13:09,200 --> 01:13:12,124
One on the merit of your show...
1254
01:13:12,240 --> 01:13:16,180
the other on your election
to head of house.
1255
01:13:16,280 --> 01:13:18,860
Your responsibilities
to your house are suspended.
1256
01:13:18,960 --> 01:13:20,660
Your show is dead.
1257
01:13:20,760 --> 01:13:23,980
And if there is another one
of your illegal demonstrations...
1258
01:13:24,080 --> 01:13:26,380
it's going to get a lot worse.
1259
01:13:26,480 --> 01:13:28,260
This is a critical time for this school.
1260
01:13:28,360 --> 01:13:31,300
You're damn right it is.
1261
01:13:31,400 --> 01:13:33,562
We don't have
an intolerance problem here.
1262
01:13:35,080 --> 01:13:36,809
Except for the one I'm looking at.
1263
01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:44,004
You didn't tell me that you and Sophia
had a misunderstanding.
1264
01:13:45,920 --> 01:13:46,780
Who did?
1265
01:13:46,880 --> 01:13:49,140
Her father.
1266
01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:50,446
She was very upset.
1267
01:13:53,120 --> 01:13:56,090
What vision do you have
for yourself, Troy?
1268
01:13:56,200 --> 01:13:57,580
Get my degree...
1269
01:13:57,680 --> 01:13:58,860
then law school, then...
1270
01:13:58,960 --> 01:14:00,260
And what has that got to do...
1271
01:14:00,360 --> 01:14:01,740
with partying with Kurt...
1272
01:14:01,840 --> 01:14:04,140
smoking weed, and writing jokes?
1273
01:14:04,240 --> 01:14:05,500
So okay, what is it?
1274
01:14:05,600 --> 01:14:08,500
The spotlight that Kurt gets?
1275
01:14:08,600 --> 01:14:10,220
You want to see yourself on TV?
1276
01:14:10,320 --> 01:14:12,780
You know how many black men
waste their lives...
1277
01:14:12,880 --> 01:14:15,420
trying to be on TV,
be rappers or ballplayers?
1278
01:14:15,520 --> 01:14:18,460
Dad, no.
I want what we always talk about.
1279
01:14:18,560 --> 01:14:20,483
Maybe have my own firm someday...
1280
01:14:20,600 --> 01:14:21,700
run for office.
1281
01:14:21,800 --> 01:14:23,900
Make a difference.
1282
01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:26,321
What about the drugs?
1283
01:14:26,440 --> 01:14:28,660
I have been in academia a long time.
1284
01:14:28,760 --> 01:14:30,285
I've seen a lot of things.
1285
01:14:32,080 --> 01:14:34,220
And the men who really run this world...
1286
01:14:34,320 --> 01:14:36,180
oh...
1287
01:14:36,280 --> 01:14:40,001
you've got no idea what they see
when they see you.
1288
01:14:40,120 --> 01:14:43,620
You are not going to be
what they all think you are.
1289
01:14:43,720 --> 01:14:46,849
You are not going to give them
that satisfaction.
1290
01:14:46,960 --> 01:14:50,100
Do you hear me?
1291
01:14:50,200 --> 01:14:51,326
Yes, sir.
1292
01:14:55,640 --> 01:14:57,404
Get out of my sight.
1293
01:15:18,440 --> 01:15:19,940
President's office.
1294
01:15:20,040 --> 01:15:21,565
I'll be right there.
1295
01:15:35,160 --> 01:15:36,460
I know about the party.
1296
01:15:36,560 --> 01:15:38,060
What party?
1297
01:15:38,160 --> 01:15:40,020
Yeah, cute.
1298
01:15:40,120 --> 01:15:42,380
Let me tell you something.
You picked a hell of a time.
1299
01:15:42,480 --> 01:15:44,860
- It's the Halloween party.
- I want you to listen to something.
1300
01:15:44,960 --> 01:15:47,100
It's canceled, Kurt.
End of story.
1301
01:15:47,200 --> 01:15:49,202
I can't cancel.
There's like 100 people coming.
1302
01:15:50,440 --> 01:15:51,726
Hey.
1303
01:15:56,600 --> 01:15:59,020
Lionel's story on the
would be protest...
1304
01:15:59,120 --> 01:16:01,140
outside Gillespie is running tomorrow.
1305
01:16:01,240 --> 01:16:03,380
Yeah, and I've also got Lionel
working on a profile piece...
1306
01:16:03,480 --> 01:16:05,420
of Armstrong-Parker,
like you suggested.
1307
01:16:05,520 --> 01:16:07,409
Really break down what's going on.
1308
01:16:09,160 --> 01:16:10,700
Right?
1309
01:16:10,800 --> 01:16:13,020
It's almost like they...
1310
01:16:13,120 --> 01:16:15,020
recycle so much from their past.
1311
01:16:15,120 --> 01:16:17,580
Music, food, fashion...
1312
01:16:17,680 --> 01:16:21,060
and now turbulence.
1313
01:16:21,160 --> 01:16:23,020
Thank you so much.
1314
01:16:23,120 --> 01:16:25,260
Take care.
1315
01:16:25,360 --> 01:16:27,980
- Well?
- That was our Times advisor.
1316
01:16:28,080 --> 01:16:29,580
He said it's stories like these...
1317
01:16:29,680 --> 01:16:31,921
that get editors
letters of recommendation.
1318
01:16:34,880 --> 01:16:36,660
Negro at the door
didn't scare you this time?
1319
01:16:36,760 --> 01:16:38,020
Lionel, please.
1320
01:16:38,120 --> 01:16:39,940
You're only technically black.
1321
01:16:40,040 --> 01:16:43,044
G? Going to French.
1322
01:16:43,160 --> 01:16:46,607
- Should I save you a seat?
- Yeah, thanks.
1323
01:16:48,640 --> 01:16:50,700
You need something?
I saw your email.
1324
01:16:50,800 --> 01:16:52,140
Oh, yeah.
1325
01:16:52,240 --> 01:16:56,100
I need someone to do
the donors event on Saturday.
1326
01:16:56,200 --> 01:16:58,020
A small dinner
for the school's big givers.
1327
01:16:58,120 --> 01:16:59,980
That's Halloween night.
1328
01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:03,140
Right, which is why
no one else will take it.
1329
01:17:03,240 --> 01:17:05,820
Ah, thus the new guy.
1330
01:17:05,920 --> 01:17:07,660
I'm going to class, but...
1331
01:17:07,760 --> 01:17:10,020
you can stay and check out
last year's piece if you want.
1332
01:17:10,120 --> 01:17:12,460
- You'll do fine.
- I don't know.
1333
01:17:12,560 --> 01:17:15,140
Is there going to be any
racially fueled outbursts at this thing?
1334
01:17:15,240 --> 01:17:16,526
You never know, right?
1335
01:17:20,400 --> 01:17:24,689
Hey, am I a good writer?
1336
01:17:27,200 --> 01:17:28,900
You'll get better.
1337
01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:30,365
And we need you right now.
1338
01:17:31,680 --> 01:17:34,660
Please, you're just
one big recommendation...
1339
01:17:34,760 --> 01:17:35,940
away from the Times.
1340
01:17:36,040 --> 01:17:37,485
Hey...
1341
01:17:53,920 --> 01:17:57,940
There's a big party
after the donors event.
1342
01:17:58,040 --> 01:18:01,340
Call me after.
Maybe we can hang?
1343
01:18:01,440 --> 01:18:03,522
Yeah, yeah, sounds good.
1344
01:18:20,280 --> 01:18:22,220
Dear white people...
1345
01:18:22,320 --> 01:18:24,420
Are you tired of your humdrum
Wonder Bread existence...
1346
01:18:24,520 --> 01:18:27,260
of accidental racism,
and wishing you could sip...
1347
01:18:27,360 --> 01:18:29,300
on henny out your crunk cup...
1348
01:18:29,400 --> 01:18:31,300
without a bitch
giving you the side eye?
1349
01:18:31,400 --> 01:18:33,540
Of course you are.
1350
01:18:33,640 --> 01:18:36,540
For all those looking
to unleash their inner negro...
1351
01:18:36,640 --> 01:18:38,900
from years of bondage and oppression...
1352
01:18:39,000 --> 01:18:41,100
Pastiche proudly presents...
1353
01:18:41,200 --> 01:18:42,700
Dear White People...
1354
01:18:42,800 --> 01:18:45,740
our 89th annual Hallows Eve
costume party...
1355
01:18:45,840 --> 01:18:47,300
tonight at 10 Pacific time...
1356
01:18:47,400 --> 01:18:50,180
or five colored people time.
1357
01:18:50,280 --> 01:18:53,100
Dudes must rock Fubu, Ecko...
1358
01:18:53,200 --> 01:18:55,180
Rocawear, or Sean John.
1359
01:18:55,280 --> 01:18:57,540
XXXL is
the smallest sized T-shirt...
1360
01:18:57,640 --> 01:18:58,580
you can wear...
1361
01:18:58,680 --> 01:19:01,020
preferably with a collage
of Barack Obama...
1362
01:19:01,120 --> 01:19:02,300
and Tupac on it.
1363
01:19:02,400 --> 01:19:06,020
Ladies, we need to see
huge hoop earrings...
1364
01:19:06,120 --> 01:19:08,780
long nails, and cheap, tight clothes.
1365
01:19:08,880 --> 01:19:11,300
Proper hood rat starts fights,
speaks loudly...
1366
01:19:11,400 --> 01:19:13,820
and when she can't think
of the words she's trying to say...
1367
01:19:13,920 --> 01:19:17,180
just makes one up,
such as "edjmucated."
1368
01:19:17,280 --> 01:19:19,940
Now feel free
to fry on up some chicken...
1369
01:19:20,040 --> 01:19:21,860
bring some Kool-Aid, watermelon...
1370
01:19:21,960 --> 01:19:24,820
forties, and of course,
that purple drank.
1371
01:19:24,920 --> 01:19:27,300
Naturally, there will be
a freestyle rap competition...
1372
01:19:27,400 --> 01:19:32,140
so bring it and join us
for the party of the year.
1373
01:19:32,240 --> 01:19:34,140
Oh, and uh...
1374
01:19:34,240 --> 01:19:37,100
Nigga, nigga, nigga, nigga
nigga, nigga.
1375
01:19:37,200 --> 01:19:39,043
Boy, that felt good.
1376
01:20:08,280 --> 01:20:09,884
Funny seeing you here.
1377
01:20:13,040 --> 01:20:15,805
Pops likes to show me off
at all these donor functions.
1378
01:20:20,080 --> 01:20:21,525
So...
1379
01:20:23,160 --> 01:20:24,260
Picard or Kirk?
1380
01:20:24,360 --> 01:20:25,580
Kirk. Wait.
1381
01:20:25,680 --> 01:20:26,681
- I didn't say...
- Yo.
1382
01:20:26,800 --> 01:20:29,260
What happens at the crib
stays at the crib.
1383
01:20:29,360 --> 01:20:31,300
I'm not trying to get my card revoked.
1384
01:20:31,400 --> 01:20:33,260
Someone could say
that a show that had...
1385
01:20:33,360 --> 01:20:37,540
Whoopi Goldberg, Michael Dorn,
and Kunta Kinte himself...
1386
01:20:37,640 --> 01:20:39,260
was a pretty black show.
1387
01:20:39,360 --> 01:20:43,140
- That work out for you?
- No, no, it did not.
1388
01:20:43,240 --> 01:20:44,924
At least not in high school.
1389
01:20:46,760 --> 01:20:49,380
Bet there's, like, a statue of you
in your high school.
1390
01:20:49,480 --> 01:20:51,980
I was beloved.
1391
01:20:52,080 --> 01:20:54,651
They know you were a Trekker?
1392
01:20:59,080 --> 01:21:01,686
So what, you growing that out?
1393
01:21:03,360 --> 01:21:05,044
I think it's gaining sentience.
1394
01:21:06,640 --> 01:21:08,180
Yeah, it's out there.
1395
01:21:08,280 --> 01:21:10,780
Yeah, it's like a black hole
for white people's fingers.
1396
01:21:10,880 --> 01:21:14,100
They're... obsessed.
1397
01:21:14,200 --> 01:21:16,900
I mean, you know I cut hair, though.
1398
01:21:17,000 --> 01:21:18,445
So why don't you just ask me?
1399
01:21:20,080 --> 01:21:23,460
I don't know. You're... you.
1400
01:21:23,560 --> 01:21:26,140
Ly, you ready, man?
1401
01:21:26,240 --> 01:21:28,620
Yeah. No costumes?
1402
01:21:28,720 --> 01:21:30,580
I got a suit for this.
1403
01:21:30,680 --> 01:21:32,020
We just got out of the staffroom.
1404
01:21:32,120 --> 01:21:34,020
Yeah, we're going as overworked.
1405
01:21:34,120 --> 01:21:37,602
- Where is it?
- Garmin House, on Third, I think.
1406
01:21:38,680 --> 01:21:40,250
Third and Basin.
1407
01:21:42,080 --> 01:21:43,002
I know it.
1408
01:21:45,720 --> 01:21:47,404
Yo, man.
1409
01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:51,540
If I'd have gone to your high school...
1410
01:21:51,640 --> 01:21:52,801
I'd have had your back.
1411
01:22:49,080 --> 01:22:51,340
This is kind of fucked up, right?
1412
01:22:51,440 --> 01:22:54,420
Pastiche, the world's
most erudite boneheads.
1413
01:22:54,520 --> 01:22:55,760
I need another drink.
1414
01:23:00,960 --> 01:23:02,166
Hey.
1415
01:23:12,360 --> 01:23:13,930
Sorry.
1416
01:23:15,920 --> 01:23:18,060
It's all right. I just can't
wait to cut all of this off.
1417
01:23:18,160 --> 01:23:19,082
Don't you dare.
1418
01:23:24,840 --> 01:23:26,524
I could eat you like a Hershey's.
1419
01:23:30,760 --> 01:23:33,969
I'll... I'll be right back.
1420
01:23:35,360 --> 01:23:36,566
Okay.
1421
01:24:02,920 --> 01:24:04,046
Sam.
1422
01:24:05,480 --> 01:24:06,780
I hope to run for office someday.
1423
01:24:06,880 --> 01:24:08,460
Make a difference, you know?
1424
01:24:08,560 --> 01:24:10,369
If you guys will excuse me
for one moment.
1425
01:24:10,480 --> 01:24:11,900
I promise I'll be right back.
1426
01:24:12,000 --> 01:24:13,161
Hold that thought.
1427
01:24:26,880 --> 01:24:28,220
So what do you want me to do?
1428
01:24:28,320 --> 01:24:29,540
Go over and yell at them?
1429
01:24:29,640 --> 01:24:31,051
Have you heard you yelling?
1430
01:24:33,280 --> 01:24:35,860
For the first time in my life,
I can't just sit around...
1431
01:24:35,960 --> 01:24:37,220
and do nothing.
1432
01:24:37,320 --> 01:24:39,860
So... how can you?
1433
01:24:39,960 --> 01:24:42,247
I'm done being everybody's
angry black chick.
1434
01:25:17,280 --> 01:25:18,725
Hey, muffins.
1435
01:25:18,840 --> 01:25:21,300
So how do I look?
1436
01:25:21,400 --> 01:25:22,780
Tell me...
1437
01:25:22,880 --> 01:25:25,486
why are white folks
so obsessed with being black?
1438
01:25:27,880 --> 01:25:32,300
Hell, why are black folks addicted
to blonde Barbie doll weaves?
1439
01:25:32,400 --> 01:25:35,483
The strange symbiosis
that we're here to investigate.
1440
01:25:50,280 --> 01:25:52,220
Hi.
1441
01:25:52,320 --> 01:25:54,500
How's it going?
1442
01:25:54,600 --> 01:25:55,660
All right.
1443
01:25:55,760 --> 01:25:57,020
This is-
1444
01:25:57,120 --> 01:25:59,140
- Black Student Union.
- Black Student Union, yeah.
1445
01:25:59,240 --> 01:26:01,940
- Yeah.
- 'Cause it's 7:30.
1446
01:26:02,040 --> 01:26:04,940
It's your call, man.
1447
01:26:05,040 --> 01:26:07,900
All right, all right...
1448
01:26:08,000 --> 01:26:10,660
All right, y'all.
Thanks for coming out.
1449
01:26:10,760 --> 01:26:14,300
Tonight, looks like Sam
is not going to make it...
1450
01:26:14,400 --> 01:26:16,687
so let's call it.
1451
01:26:27,280 --> 01:26:28,900
Um, hi.
1452
01:26:29,000 --> 01:26:32,340
I'm Lionel.
1453
01:26:32,440 --> 01:26:35,500
I know some of you.
1454
01:26:35,600 --> 01:26:36,980
None of you know me.
1455
01:26:37,080 --> 01:26:39,765
I've never been to a meeting.
I plan on coming.
1456
01:26:45,960 --> 01:26:47,660
I just came from this party...
1457
01:26:47,760 --> 01:26:49,649
and I feel like you guys
should know about it.
1458
01:26:59,960 --> 01:27:01,540
Hey, Kurt.
What's up, man?
1459
01:27:01,640 --> 01:27:03,100
- How you doing?
- What the fuck is going on?
1460
01:27:03,200 --> 01:27:04,725
All these people just showed up, man.
1461
01:27:10,120 --> 01:27:11,700
Wait, who am I?
1462
01:27:11,800 --> 01:27:16,380
"Bitch, it's weave, noun,
present tense, how."
1463
01:27:16,480 --> 01:27:18,130
Okay, point taken.
1464
01:27:25,960 --> 01:27:29,220
- Hey, man, you want a drink?
- Shut up.
1465
01:27:29,320 --> 01:27:33,940
- Yeah.
- Kurt, it's me.
1466
01:27:34,040 --> 01:27:34,940
I can't do this.
1467
01:27:35,040 --> 01:27:37,700
Okay, I'm fucking confused.
1468
01:27:37,800 --> 01:27:40,900
- Dad.
- Not now, Troy.
1469
01:27:41,000 --> 01:27:42,340
But Dad, it's important.
1470
01:27:42,440 --> 01:27:44,204
I heard there's something
happening on campus...
1471
01:27:44,320 --> 01:27:46,100
and I might have been a part
of setting it off.
1472
01:27:46,200 --> 01:27:48,009
Son, you're being rude.
1473
01:27:49,560 --> 01:27:50,820
Oh, am I?
1474
01:27:50,920 --> 01:27:53,002
Well, how about I tell
all your precious donors...
1475
01:27:53,120 --> 01:27:54,220
and anybody who will listen
1476
01:27:54,320 --> 01:27:56,060
what kind of school it is
they're giving to!
1477
01:27:56,160 --> 01:27:57,740
What is wrong with you?
1478
01:27:57,840 --> 01:27:59,180
How dare you?
1479
01:27:59,280 --> 01:28:01,380
You can't come over here
and talk to your father...
1480
01:28:01,480 --> 01:28:03,100
All I say is "Yes, sir"
and "No, sir."
1481
01:28:03,200 --> 01:28:05,140
Now look, I should have
brought this to you earlier...
1482
01:28:05,240 --> 01:28:06,540
but I didn't know what to do.
1483
01:28:06,640 --> 01:28:08,802
- Okay, let's wait.
- Listen to me!
1484
01:28:10,360 --> 01:28:11,521
Done right, brother.
1485
01:28:11,640 --> 01:28:14,220
What's the plan?
1486
01:28:14,320 --> 01:28:16,220
We go over there.
1487
01:28:16,320 --> 01:28:17,860
Now.
1488
01:28:17,960 --> 01:28:19,700
Think there's enough of us?
1489
01:28:19,800 --> 01:28:22,020
Latinos United
is meeting across the hall.
1490
01:28:22,120 --> 01:28:23,565
Asian-American League, too.
1491
01:28:25,880 --> 01:28:28,008
You guys got better snacks.
1492
01:28:48,800 --> 01:28:50,140
Wait, what?
1493
01:28:50,240 --> 01:28:52,780
Yeah, dude, we all got it.
1494
01:28:52,880 --> 01:28:54,928
I mean, everything is cool, right?
1495
01:29:03,320 --> 01:29:04,780
Take that shit off!
1496
01:29:04,880 --> 01:29:07,167
Take that fucking shit off.
1497
01:29:10,640 --> 01:29:13,540
Wait, what the fuck are you doing, man?
1498
01:29:13,640 --> 01:29:15,820
Jesus!
1499
01:29:15,920 --> 01:29:17,900
We're putting an end to this, Kurt.
1500
01:29:18,000 --> 01:29:20,460
You know what?
Everybody get the fuck out of my house.
1501
01:29:20,560 --> 01:29:22,767
Okay? I'm calling the cops.
1502
01:29:50,520 --> 01:29:52,170
Let's make it do what it do!
1503
01:29:54,320 --> 01:29:56,780
One, two, one, two, three.
1504
01:29:56,880 --> 01:29:59,300
Yo, give me your wife before I slap ya.
1505
01:29:59,400 --> 01:30:00,970
I've been looking for some dames...
1506
01:30:01,080 --> 01:30:02,740
but there's not another chapter.
1507
01:30:02,840 --> 01:30:04,980
You can do me slow, you can do me fast.
1508
01:30:05,080 --> 01:30:07,580
You can add it to my league.
I'm the royalty to ask for.
1509
01:30:07,680 --> 01:30:10,570
One, two, wa-wa-wa-one.
1510
01:30:12,320 --> 01:30:13,980
I say hey!
1511
01:30:14,080 --> 01:30:15,380
Hey!
1512
01:30:15,480 --> 01:30:17,562
- Ho!
- Ho!
1513
01:30:17,680 --> 01:30:19,060
My name is Lionel.
1514
01:30:19,160 --> 01:30:20,340
Some call me Ly.
1515
01:30:20,440 --> 01:30:22,700
Most people think I kind of talk quiet.
1516
01:30:22,800 --> 01:30:25,140
But that's all right, that's all cool.
1517
01:30:25,240 --> 01:30:28,084
I'd rather be white
than tap dance with you.
1518
01:30:46,080 --> 01:30:47,660
Get the fuck out of my house.
1519
01:30:47,760 --> 01:30:49,569
- What you doing?
- Get the fuck out of here!
1520
01:31:15,040 --> 01:31:16,326
What?
1521
01:31:17,400 --> 01:31:18,780
Say it.
1522
01:31:18,880 --> 01:31:19,927
Come on.
1523
01:31:21,640 --> 01:31:24,260
You know, this may come
as a shock to you...
1524
01:31:24,360 --> 01:31:27,842
but these people don't give a fuck
about no Harriet motherfucking Tubman.
1525
01:31:27,960 --> 01:31:29,700
They pay millions of dollars...
1526
01:31:29,800 --> 01:31:31,660
on their lips, their tans...
1527
01:31:31,760 --> 01:31:34,180
their asses, Jay-Z tickets...
1528
01:31:34,280 --> 01:31:36,260
because they want to be like us.
1529
01:31:36,360 --> 01:31:39,460
And they got to be for a night.
1530
01:31:39,560 --> 01:31:41,300
I'm not about to go out
into the streets...
1531
01:31:41,400 --> 01:31:44,210
and protest a fucking Halloween party.
1532
01:32:01,360 --> 01:32:02,860
He can't help it.
1533
01:32:02,960 --> 01:32:05,850
But why do you have to be such a fag?
1534
01:32:32,680 --> 01:32:34,921
Looks like you got me
right where you want me, huh?
1535
01:34:02,000 --> 01:34:03,729
Hey...
1536
01:34:06,760 --> 01:34:10,003
I didn't do this, Sam.
I didn't do this.
1537
01:34:10,120 --> 01:34:12,380
Outrage over an African-American
themed party...
1538
01:34:12,480 --> 01:34:14,740
has resulted in rioting
and property damages.
1539
01:34:14,840 --> 01:34:17,764
Naturally, a dozen
colored folks crashing a party...
1540
01:34:17,880 --> 01:34:20,020
was dubbed a riot, but nevertheless...
1541
01:34:20,120 --> 01:34:21,620
the story made national news.
1542
01:34:21,720 --> 01:34:23,340
I'm sorry.
1543
01:34:23,440 --> 01:34:26,060
We don't condone
this egregious event, believe me.
1544
01:34:26,160 --> 01:34:28,300
Dean Fairbanks and I are looking
into different ways...
1545
01:34:28,400 --> 01:34:30,482
to address issues of diversity...
1546
01:34:30,600 --> 01:34:34,260
- Housing reform!
- Yeah!
1547
01:34:34,360 --> 01:34:36,140
Housing reform.
1548
01:34:36,240 --> 01:34:37,940
I mean, the fact that
we can joke about this...
1549
01:34:38,040 --> 01:34:39,740
proves we moved on, obviously, right?
1550
01:34:39,840 --> 01:34:42,100
I mean, in this day and age,
if you can't take a joke...
1551
01:34:42,200 --> 01:34:45,940
Shit, I'm just saying this is
an attack on my freedom of speech.
1552
01:34:46,040 --> 01:34:47,140
I'm the victim here!
1553
01:34:47,240 --> 01:34:49,460
The campus was divided.
1554
01:34:49,560 --> 01:34:52,580
Was the party an act of free speech,
or was it racism?
1555
01:34:52,680 --> 01:34:55,540
I mean, this is only a debate
because of who Kurt's dad is...
1556
01:34:55,640 --> 01:34:58,140
which just proves the point.
1557
01:34:58,240 --> 01:35:00,940
I mean, all you did was have a radio
show and look what happened to you.
1558
01:35:01,040 --> 01:35:04,380
This may come as a shock to you but
these people don't give a fuck...
1559
01:35:04,480 --> 01:35:07,180
about no Harriet motherfucking Tubman.
1560
01:35:07,280 --> 01:35:09,340
They want to be like us.
1561
01:35:09,440 --> 01:35:11,300
And they got to be for a night.
1562
01:35:11,400 --> 01:35:12,980
Of course I got my dad involved.
1563
01:35:13,080 --> 01:35:14,940
It was the right thing to do.
1564
01:35:15,040 --> 01:35:17,780
And now all of these posters
just started showing up.
1565
01:35:17,880 --> 01:35:19,820
I mean, why settle for head of house...
1566
01:35:19,920 --> 01:35:22,340
when there's a need for me
as president, you know?
1567
01:35:22,440 --> 01:35:24,204
Dear white people...
1568
01:35:29,640 --> 01:35:31,005
You know what?
1569
01:35:33,520 --> 01:35:35,170
Never mind.
1570
01:36:00,560 --> 01:36:02,289
When I heard
what the group was planning...
1571
01:36:02,400 --> 01:36:04,380
I emailed my staff
and I told them to quit.
1572
01:36:04,480 --> 01:36:06,540
That is a copy of the email
in front of you.
1573
01:36:06,640 --> 01:36:07,641
And who's this?
1574
01:36:10,040 --> 01:36:10,962
My lawyer.
1575
01:36:12,120 --> 01:36:15,920
So when I got the invite
and saw everyone clicking yes...
1576
01:36:16,040 --> 01:36:17,500
I figured it was back on.
1577
01:36:17,600 --> 01:36:20,220
- We know you were planning this.
- Your son tell you that?
1578
01:36:20,320 --> 01:36:22,660
"Wishing you could sip on
henny out your crunk cup...
1579
01:36:22,760 --> 01:36:24,728
"without a bitch
giving you the side eye."
1580
01:36:24,840 --> 01:36:26,580
You write this, Troy?
1581
01:36:26,680 --> 01:36:28,780
No.
1582
01:36:28,880 --> 01:36:30,940
- Mine wasn't chosen.
- But you wanted to be.
1583
01:36:31,040 --> 01:36:33,520
What I wanted didn't matter then,
so why should it matter now?
1584
01:36:33,640 --> 01:36:35,940
I'm the one who got you
to send the police, remember?
1585
01:36:36,040 --> 01:36:39,140
The invite came
from the Pastiche Facebook account.
1586
01:36:39,240 --> 01:36:41,220
I canceled the party!
1587
01:36:41,320 --> 01:36:43,780
You got to believe me.
1588
01:36:43,880 --> 01:36:46,360
What were your intentions
when you went back the second time?
1589
01:36:46,920 --> 01:36:48,160
To stop it.
1590
01:36:48,280 --> 01:36:49,850
By any means necessary?
1591
01:36:51,440 --> 01:36:52,900
Someone once told me that...
1592
01:36:53,000 --> 01:36:55,260
Winchester was like jazz.
1593
01:36:55,360 --> 01:36:56,740
Now I don't know much about jazz...
1594
01:36:56,840 --> 01:36:58,700
but from what I can tell...
1595
01:36:58,800 --> 01:37:01,849
when your solo is up...
1596
01:37:01,960 --> 01:37:04,008
you better blow.
1597
01:37:04,960 --> 01:37:06,580
You want to hear something strange?
1598
01:37:06,680 --> 01:37:09,020
The Pastiche group page
hadn't been used for months...
1599
01:37:09,120 --> 01:37:10,380
until the invite went out.
1600
01:37:10,480 --> 01:37:11,641
Why am I even here?
1601
01:37:11,760 --> 01:37:13,460
What's interesting
is how easy it was...
1602
01:37:13,560 --> 01:37:15,380
to access the group page.
1603
01:37:15,480 --> 01:37:18,980
The password was "pa$tiche"
spelled with a dollar sign...
1604
01:37:19,080 --> 01:37:20,411
according to Kurt...
1605
01:37:20,520 --> 01:37:22,980
but it seems
it's recently been changed.
1606
01:37:23,080 --> 01:37:25,060
I couldn't figure it out at first.
1607
01:37:25,160 --> 01:37:27,020
Then I thought to try something.
1608
01:37:27,120 --> 01:37:33,127
578-35-26-196.
1609
01:37:33,240 --> 01:37:35,820
Eleven numbers.
1610
01:37:35,920 --> 01:37:37,684
Just like our student I.D. numbers.
1611
01:37:40,520 --> 01:37:43,763
Just like your student I.D. number.
1612
01:37:46,480 --> 01:37:48,820
As much as you hate him,
you will stop at nothing...
1613
01:37:48,920 --> 01:37:51,380
to protect your master and his boy.
1614
01:37:51,480 --> 01:37:53,847
Did you send out the invite, Sam?
1615
01:37:57,240 --> 01:38:00,340
It wasn't speeches that turned
the tide for civil rights.
1616
01:38:00,440 --> 01:38:03,100
It was the anarchists willing
to provoke the police...
1617
01:38:03,200 --> 01:38:04,326
get sprayed by hoses...
1618
01:38:04,440 --> 01:38:06,860
anything to cause a scene
and make press.
1619
01:38:06,960 --> 01:38:09,780
That invite, whoever sent it...
1620
01:38:09,880 --> 01:38:12,020
should have been met
with derision and outrage.
1621
01:38:12,120 --> 01:38:14,300
Instead, 100 people, your students...
1622
01:38:14,400 --> 01:38:16,460
showed up,
and they pulled out posters...
1623
01:38:16,560 --> 01:38:18,050
and decorations and costumes...
1624
01:38:18,160 --> 01:38:19,620
that they had made for such an event...
1625
01:38:19,720 --> 01:38:21,060
and they showed our school...
1626
01:38:21,160 --> 01:38:23,401
exactly where it's at.
1627
01:39:06,640 --> 01:39:08,802
Well, you've made some new friends.
1628
01:39:09,800 --> 01:39:11,564
I guess you could call them that.
1629
01:39:13,440 --> 01:39:15,602
- So...
- No, not right now.
1630
01:39:15,720 --> 01:39:16,721
Not here.
1631
01:39:21,360 --> 01:39:23,806
- Fine.
- Oh, come on, Coco.
1632
01:39:24,840 --> 01:39:26,580
Fuck you, Troy.
1633
01:39:26,680 --> 01:39:28,364
Look, my dad saw your videos...
1634
01:39:28,480 --> 01:39:29,860
and he's just a little worried...
1635
01:39:29,960 --> 01:39:32,060
How it will look?
1636
01:39:32,160 --> 01:39:33,889
With your campaign and all?
1637
01:39:40,920 --> 01:39:43,321
What's your best friend Reggie think?
1638
01:39:46,360 --> 01:39:50,660
Hey... we had fun.
1639
01:39:50,760 --> 01:39:52,569
All right?
1640
01:39:58,320 --> 01:40:02,780
You know, I get that everybody else
wants you to win, Troy.
1641
01:40:02,880 --> 01:40:04,245
But do you?
1642
01:40:23,160 --> 01:40:24,844
Hello, Sam.
1643
01:40:27,200 --> 01:40:29,500
I read about Armstrong-Parker.
1644
01:40:29,600 --> 01:40:32,180
Yeah, Pres. made
an executive withdrawal...
1645
01:40:32,280 --> 01:40:34,580
so Armstrong stays black.
1646
01:40:34,680 --> 01:40:36,728
Congrats.
1647
01:40:36,840 --> 01:40:39,540
I don't know. It's getting
a little too dramatic, man.
1648
01:40:39,640 --> 01:40:43,700
I'm thinking about getting
an apartment off campus.
1649
01:40:43,800 --> 01:40:45,484
So we'll see.
1650
01:40:45,600 --> 01:40:48,500
Sam White going
against the grain? Shocking.
1651
01:40:48,600 --> 01:40:52,020
How's Papa White?
1652
01:40:52,120 --> 01:40:53,884
- Recovering.
- Good.
1653
01:40:58,520 --> 01:40:59,169
Well...
1654
01:40:59,280 --> 01:41:02,220
We were actually
on the phone last night...
1655
01:41:02,320 --> 01:41:04,004
for hours.
1656
01:41:04,120 --> 01:41:07,580
It was the first time
we talked since the bypass.
1657
01:41:07,680 --> 01:41:10,100
And he was putting up a strong front...
1658
01:41:10,200 --> 01:41:12,300
teasing me about being so worried.
1659
01:41:12,400 --> 01:41:15,722
And then came the stories
about me as a little girl...
1660
01:41:15,840 --> 01:41:18,060
that I'd heard 1,000 times.
1661
01:41:18,160 --> 01:41:21,926
About how...
1662
01:41:24,360 --> 01:41:27,045
independent I was.
1663
01:41:29,400 --> 01:41:30,731
Want to talk about it?
1664
01:41:33,720 --> 01:41:35,324
My mom worked nights...
1665
01:41:35,440 --> 01:41:40,860
so he'd always
take me to school, and...
1666
01:41:40,960 --> 01:41:42,700
it used to piss me off...
1667
01:41:42,800 --> 01:41:45,860
because he'd follow me
all the way to homeroom.
1668
01:41:45,960 --> 01:41:47,500
And whenever he'd try
to hold my hand...
1669
01:41:47,600 --> 01:41:51,660
I'd scream and... pull it away.
1670
01:41:51,760 --> 01:41:55,100
The students and the parents...
1671
01:41:55,200 --> 01:41:57,940
they'd see this white man...
1672
01:41:58,040 --> 01:42:00,820
and this black girl...
1673
01:42:00,920 --> 01:42:02,980
and they'd wonder
what we were doing together.
1674
01:42:03,080 --> 01:42:07,420
Even at nine, I could feel
their eyes on me.
1675
01:42:07,520 --> 01:42:09,443
And I was just a bratty girl.
1676
01:42:09,560 --> 01:42:13,167
I didn't know any better,
but the thought of losing him...
1677
01:42:14,680 --> 01:42:16,780
You know?
1678
01:42:16,880 --> 01:42:19,500
I, um...
1679
01:42:19,600 --> 01:42:22,968
I just feel so bad.
1680
01:42:26,760 --> 01:42:31,220
How awful am I to do that to...
1681
01:42:31,320 --> 01:42:35,120
him, or to anyone...
1682
01:42:36,520 --> 01:42:38,170
that I...
1683
01:42:40,240 --> 01:42:42,004
love.
1684
01:42:47,480 --> 01:42:50,006
I'm sure he forgives you.
1685
01:42:52,080 --> 01:42:53,445
You think so?
1686
01:42:59,640 --> 01:43:03,300
So anyway, I don't know...
1687
01:43:03,400 --> 01:43:06,006
why I said all that.
1688
01:43:07,920 --> 01:43:09,570
Sam, where are you going?
1689
01:43:13,200 --> 01:43:14,725
I don't know.
1690
01:43:16,680 --> 01:43:18,808
Lunch.
1691
01:43:18,920 --> 01:43:21,366
Isn't it Mac N' Cheese day
at Armstrong-Parker?
1692
01:43:24,760 --> 01:43:26,524
You think they'll let you in?
1693
01:43:52,880 --> 01:43:54,220
Let me get this straight.
1694
01:43:54,320 --> 01:43:55,924
First you try to break up
the black house.
1695
01:43:56,040 --> 01:43:58,740
Then you take down the sister
with the little radio show.
1696
01:43:58,840 --> 01:44:00,420
Then after all of that...
1697
01:44:00,520 --> 01:44:02,900
- your son throws a blackface party.
- Now wait a minute.
1698
01:44:03,000 --> 01:44:05,340
Now if you thought you were
having trouble finding money before...
1699
01:44:05,440 --> 01:44:07,740
just wait until cable news
gets their hands on this story.
1700
01:44:07,840 --> 01:44:09,980
I mean, Bill Maher
is going to fuck you up.
1701
01:44:10,080 --> 01:44:12,780
You know, I've heard enough. I'm sorry.
1702
01:44:12,880 --> 01:44:16,020
Look, the point is
from where I'm sitting...
1703
01:44:16,120 --> 01:44:17,900
- this place is a gold mine.
- What?
1704
01:44:18,000 --> 01:44:20,700
Well, we still need the stuff
that leads up to the party.
1705
01:44:20,800 --> 01:44:21,780
That happened already.
1706
01:44:21,880 --> 01:44:23,180
Well yeah, we can re-enact it.
1707
01:44:23,280 --> 01:44:24,100
Re-enact.
1708
01:44:24,200 --> 01:44:25,900
It's a documentary term.
I...
1709
01:44:26,000 --> 01:44:28,980
The point is, I could be
putting together an overall deal today.
1710
01:44:29,080 --> 01:44:32,050
I am talking real money.
1711
01:44:32,160 --> 01:44:34,540
Turns out the only thing
Americans love in their reality TV...
1712
01:44:34,640 --> 01:44:37,340
more than ignorant black kids
is crazy racist white folks.
1713
01:44:37,440 --> 01:44:38,820
Now look here.
1714
01:44:38,920 --> 01:44:41,260
This is an honorable institution.
1715
01:44:41,360 --> 01:44:44,330
The idea that we would
so much as entertain...
1716
01:44:46,160 --> 01:44:47,446
How much we talking?
1716
01:44:48,305 --> 01:44:54,868
Shop this show's fashion on LookLive.com
126276
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
