All language subtitles for Assholes.2017.WEBRip.x264-ION10

(glass shatters)

(droning instrumental music)

- I hate them so much.

I, I hate every fiber
of who they are.

When I was not a sober person,

and I looked at sober people,

I would be like, whoa,
like, you are like, lame.

Like, I am never
gonna be like you.

And now that I have crossed
over to the sober life,

I still feel that way, I do!

I just still feel that way,
and I, I just, you know,

nothing's changed, and I just,

and it makes me feel
incredibly lonely.

Like, incredibly
alone in this world

because now I am forced
to hang out with people

who I relate zero,

like, literally I don't
relate to them at all.

And now I don't relate
to my old friends.

I don't relate to any of them.

They, they, they've
basically shunned me.

Like, I've tried to
hang out with them

but they, but it's
just not the same.

You know, I, I can't
be drinking a seltzer

with bitters around them.

I just can't.

They just, they don't get it.

They don't get that I'm,
like, they just don't.

Of course they don't get it.

Like, of course.

And, and, like, it's just like

this whole mentality that I'm in

makes me so,

so horny.

And, and like,
just, I need to like

hump a wall that
has a penis on it.

Because that's all that I,

that's literally all that
will have me right now.

Because who am I gonna fuck?

Like, I'm not fucking a
fucking sober bitch pussy,

and I'm not having sex,

like nobody else
would have sex with me

because how are
they gonna do it?

This day and age, all you,

the only way you fuck is if you
go for a drink with someone.

That's the first
thing that anybody

who's interested in me
asks, and what do I say?

Oh, yeah, I'll have
a drink with you.

But, but then, when I get
there, I have a seltzer

and they're just like,
oh, you're not drinking?

And then they feel
like, of course,

of course they feel like
they're taking advantage of me.

But really, I wanna
take advantage of them.

Because I am horny, and
they don't get it though.

They suddenly feel limp dick.

They suddenly feel like no,
I will not have sex with you

because you're
sober and I'm drunk,

and like, that's
clearly a faux pas.

And like, (sighs)

I just feel very, very
invisible right now.

Like, I feel like I have no,

no love in my life
from any level

because, of course, like,

like, you know, I hate
to bring it up again,

but Adam is just really
losing in the brother game,

like, severely.

Like whenever I'm around him,

I have such a feeling of
complete and utter, like,

like, um, defletion?

Like, is defletion a word?

Like if I--
- Depletion.

- Depletion.
- Isolation.

- Isolation.

That's it.

I feel like, like any, any sense

of who I am has
completely vanished

because he doesn't give
a fucking shit about me.

And guess what.

Having somebody not give
a fucking shit about you

from the minute
that you are born

is very fucked up, and it's
very detrimental to my growth,

and I am feeling it so
intensely right now,

like, so intensely.

Like, why is it that I
disagree with who he is

as a human being, and,

but also have this,
like, strong desire

for him to love me like
no one else has loved me?

He's supposed to be my brother.

Like, what happens
when our parents die

and, like, I have, then it
just means I have no family?

Like, I have no family.

He is. (sighs)

He, yeah.

And I don't, and like
he makes me wanna whine

because I feel like the only
way that I will get what I want

is, is, is for me to,
like, be a, a baby.

Or like he induces this
feeling in me that, like,

is very babyish.

I feel diseased with, with Adam.

I feel like I have
the Adam disease

because it's like, and
it's this creepy little,

like, disgusting
thing under my skin

that, like, no one
can really see, um,

but it's there and
it's always there

and it affects
literally every way,

every interaction that
I have because I'm like,

oh, will this person see
me, or are they like Adam?

Like, will this person,
like, appreciate me,

or are they like Adam?

Is this person, like,
gonna hear what I say,

or are they like Adam?

Like that's it.

This is, I mean, yeah.

That's how, I want this
disease to go away.

I want it to go away and
I, and I, I need a cure.

- I absolutely hear you.

- An issue's fake or real.

This is in your head.

I'm telling you.

And that's not gonna help any.

- [Man] It's not in my
head, it's in my dick.

It's right, it's in my dick.
It's a burning sensation--
- Dude.

- What are you doing?
- In the tip of my dick.

- Why are you taking
your pants off?

- [Man] And also discharge.
- Why are you always
taking your pants off

- when you're around me?
It's strange.
- Because I like you.

Because I wanna fuck you.
- Go away.

- [Standing Man] Because
you're like my little,

because you're like one
of my little fucking pets

that I wanna just put it in.

- I can't hear you now.

- [Standing Man] This
makes you uncomfortable?
- Get your dick away from me.

- [Standing Man] Does this
make you uncomfortable?
This make you uncomfortable?

Okay.
- It's harassment.

- [Man On Left] Hold on,
no, I'm sorry about that.

- But listen.
- That's pee.

- [Man On Left] As a friend,
what does that look like?

- Pee!
You peed yourself.

It's not a big deal.
- No, that's not pee.

That's, that's.

- You tinkle, you
get a little bit.

- [Man On Left] I mean,
I know the difference

between pee and,
and, and, and, and,

and something viral, man.

That's viral.

- You used a condom, okay?

- I didn't.
- So that's all you--

- [Man On Left]
I didn't use a condom.

- You did not use a condom?
- No, I never use condoms.

- Are you retarded?

Why would you not use it?

Was there not one there?

- [Man On Left] Why, why
would you use a condom?

Please, answer me that.
- So, you don't go through

exactly what you're
going through right now.

- [Man On Left] This has
never happened to me before.

This has never once
happened to me before.

- Listen, no one uses a
condom because they like to.

No one puts on a
condom, and says, hey,

this feels great!

- [Man Without Condom]
Yeah, and that's why

it shouldn't happen.

And on top of that--
- Adam.

- On top of that--
- Adam.

- [Adam] Hold on, let me finish.

- [Man with Glasses] Adam.

- [Adam] When was
the last time you

actually fucked someone?

- [Man With Glasses] Jennifer.

- [Adam] Jennifer,
that's your girlfriend.

You, you, my ex-girlfriend.

That's like I'm
asking you, like,

when was the last time you
ever went out into the woods

and played, and you're, like,

I was in jail for 10 years.

They're very different, dude.

No one uses condoms,

especially not if
it's a, a guy like me

who's like, you know,

and a girl's who fuckin',

a little white bitch who
lives in her fuckin',

in a mansion her
dad bought for her?

- So if you're white,
and you're having sex

with a rich white person,

you don't need to use a condom?

That's the most asinine
thing you've ever said,

and you've said so many--
- You said it, not me.

You said it, not me.
- Asinine things in your life.

- [Adam] Dude, okay, listen.

Girls don't lie about sex.

It's, it's, for them

it's a biological thing.
- Girls don't lie about sex?

What are you talking about?

- [Adam] It's a
biological thing.

It's, it's all about mating

and being a mother.
- It's about mating for men,

too, you idiot.

- No, but for a woman,

but they don't have to be a dad.

A mom is a thing,
moms don't lie.

- Moms lie.

- [Adam] Moms don't
fucking lie, dude.

- Welcome to the
real world, buddy.

Moms lie.

(grunting, groaning, sighing)

(Adam grunts)

- And that's pretty much

the way it begins.

I'm out of breath, though, now.

(gurgling)

Did you hear about my neighbor?

- Oh, yeah, I think, um,

I think my, our parents
said something about that.

- You have to be very
quiet when you come over,

actually, because
these walls are like,

they're like this,

they're like a membrane,

they're like skin.

They're like,
they're like scrotal,

in nature.

And my, um, neighbor is,

she's a racist.

I've encountered a racist.

She hates me because I'm,

she hates me because I'm white.

And she's not.

You want a smoke?

- What do you mean?

- Do you want a smoke?

- Have you not heard
that I'm sober now?

- You're sober?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- You didn't know that?

- No, I didn't.

- What do you mean?
- What do you mean?

- What are you doing?
- What are you doing?

- Really?
- Really?

- [both]
You're actually doing this

right now?

You're really doing
this right now?

I just told you that I'm sober.

You didn't know that.

And then you go into the...

- Wow.
- Wow.

- Um.
- Um.

- [both]
Okay, so I am gonna go now.

Um.

Cool.

- So it was great meeting up.
- So it was really great--

- I said great.
- I said great.

- Not really great.
- Greater great.

- Can you not?
- Can you not?

- Just get me my jacket.
- Just get me my jacket.

- [both] And then we're gonna
leave now.

Meaning, I'm gonna leave now.

Stop!

- Stop, please.
- Stop it, please.

- [both] Okay,
let's do this in silence then.

- Oh.
- Oh God.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Stop!
- Stop!

- Can you not?
- Can you not?

- [both]
This is so cool.

- Got ya!

It's actually fun.

Okay, will you please smoke?

Please!

Please!

(gurgling)

- Oh my God.

- Those shoes are so dumb.

I can't believe you're
wearing creepers.

That's, like, hold on.

Oh, hold on, I'll be right back.

Yes, hello, brother.

I'm good.

I, I did see the videos.

I liked them.

(gurgling)

(muffled instrumental music)

(knocking)

- [Adam's Sister] Adam?

- I don't know if it's a problem

right now.

Um.

It feels like something that
could develop into a problem,

like sort of like a

pre-problem.

I'm sorry, I, I don't, uh,

usually feel embarrassed to, uh,

talk about anything in here, but

for some reason I'm just like,

I'm really having
trouble coming out

and, uh, talking about
this particular issue.

I just love to see
assholes open up.

It's like they blossom into.

Do you know what a gape is?

- Yeah.

- That's what I'm referring to.

Like they just...

And the shit I'm into,

American actresses
won't even do.

Like 99% of the videos I watch

are not made in this country,

which makes me feel
sort of cosmopolitan

in a strange sense,

but I'm talkin' 'bout hardcore,

degrading, violent ass-fucking.

Like the way, just
fucking in the ass

like the way you would a pussy,

but harder than
you would a pussy

because pussies seem

like they would
break eventually,

but an asshole is strong.

An asshole can endure.

And there's this move

that I really appreciate,

where the guy,

after he's done fuckin' her,

he, he's fuck,
he's been fuckin' her

for so long,

and he's been doin' it so hard

that when he pulls out,

uh, the, the
asshole's left gaping,

just trembling

like, it looks like it's
just been traumatized

by what it's gone through,

and the guy, just
ever so casually,

looks into the hole.

It's as if he's studying it.

And then he just, just spits

right in the hole.

And every time I see this,

I'm just sitting there in awe.

And this is after
I've cum, you know.

I'm still watching

because I'm just so
enamored by this maneuver.

It's as if, it's like athletic,

it's like putting a ball
into a hoop or something.

And every time I
saw, wow, good job,

that got, that went
right in there.

I love it.

You know, I see a
girl on the street,

I'm just, like....

I used to be like, oh,
what would it be like

to see her naked, you know?

Or what would it be like if she,

you know, to be in a
relationship with that person.

But now it's just like, wow,

I wonder what her asshole
looks like destroyed.

It's not healthy.

- [Adam's Sister] Aaron.

- Oh.

Hey, what's up?

- Um, nothing.

How are you doing?

- I'm okay.

I'm, uh, fine.

What, what are you

doing here?

- What do you mean?

Um, don't you know that
we go to the same analyst?

- Right, yes.

Generally, I do know that,

but, in this moment,
I, uh, forgot.

So.

Uh.

Good luck, and see you later.

- Wait, Aaron.

What are you doing
in 45 minutes?

- [Aaron] Hey, it was a like
checkin' her out kind of thing.

- Yeah, but mostly it comes from

a really villainous place.

Like, it's, like--

- So you're getting angry.

- Well, no, I--

Okay, so you, you admit
that it's a real thing.

- No, no.

I, I--

The feeling.

Anger, anger is
depression turned inward.

- I get that you've said
that multiple times,

but, like, I don't
understand how you can say

depression, wait,
what did you say?

- Depression is like a,
like a fundamental truth,

but, like, anger is just
a byproduct of that.

So it's not, it's not like a--

- I think it's, in my
personal experience--

- Right, so you're like,
you're getting angry

at me right now, but, like,

and you're not gonna be, like,

okay, now I'm happy again.

You're gonna be left with,
like, a lingering melancholy.

- Actually, if you really need

to be so weird, you're
gonna have to shut up.

(people chattering)

(moaning and grunting)

No, not yet!

No, wait!
- Sorry.

Sorry.

- Hey, why'd you stop?

- I just need a breather.

Sorry.

- It's okay.

(panting)

You wanna lick my asshole?

- Yeah.

- What if it's dirty?

- I don't care.

- I bet you have such
a cute little asshole.

- I bet you have such
a cute little asshole.

(moaning)

- Oh, I bet you have such
a cute little asshole.

- I bet you have such
a cute little asshole.

- It's true, you had
an arsenal of guns.

Guns were your favorite thing,

and we bought them for you,

birthday, every holiday--
- No, wait, hold on, hold on.

I remember, no, I remember
Peter Benson having guns,

but I didn't.

You guys never let me have guns.

That was off-limits
at our house.

- Next thing I know, you're
gonna think we beat you.

You're gonna think we
deprived you of so many things

in your childhood.
- This is so weird.

- [Man] Well, kids do that.

- I know they--

Aaron, what did you,

did you have guns
when you were little?

- No.

I wanted to, but my mom
refused to buy me toy guns.

- [Adam's Mother] Wow.

- She gave me dolls.

- Yeah.
- Whoa.

- When I think of you as a kid,

I kind of imagine
you as a little boy

surrounded by dolls.

That sort of, that, to me,

that seems like the basis
for your whole personality.

'Cause you have a doll face.

Look at you, you're cute.

Look at this face.

- You know, honey,
it's interesting

that your mother was nurturing

your soft-side,
the feminine side,

but she was kind of,

it almost seems like she was

like emotionally castrating
you on some level.

You didn't play
at all with guns,

but you could play with dolls.

And there's no way around it.

A boy wants to play with a gun.

You know, you know, actually,
as I'm thinking about it,

I just read your
play the other night.

Your main character,
mass shooter,

kills tons of people.

Like, the whole school's dead.

So I just wonder, like,

do you think there could
be some kind of, like,

sublimation?

A little boy never
thinks of killing.

He thinks, "I have
power, I have control."

And, I mean, it's a
penis thing, come on--

- Okay, please.
- It really is.

- I actually, I need
to stop you here

because I, I am getting
very angry with you.

I feel like you are
basically trying to, like,

appeal to these men.

- I don't think that's
what she's trying to do.

- Okay.

Really?

Yeah, I was not speaking
to you, thank you.

Um, I'm flabbergasted
with what you're saying.

This entire dinner,
you have just been

putting down women.

Women are emotionally incorrect.

Men need power, men need power.

- Adam.

(sighs)

I mean, I wasn't--

I'm not the kind of guy
that's gonna use Tinder,

but I was, now that
I know that I can't,

I just feel like something's
been taken away from me.

- I feel like the
only possible option

is for us to date.

- Are you joking?

- No.

I mean, I know it's not ideal,

but, like,

I don't know what else to do.

I wanna keep having
sex with somebody.

- With me, or with
just somebody?

- I mean, yeah, you.

How long has it been for you?

- 442 days.

Do you have, uh, K2?

- What is that?

- It's like synthetic,
uh, marijuana.

- Nah, it's not legal now.

- For real?

- It's not legal.

- Weed is almost legal.
- It's all right.

- No.

- Oh my God, they have Charge.

I want it.

(droning instrumental music)
(droning, muffled voices)

(pounding death metal music)

Please, I want it so badly.

(pounding death metal music)

Oh, boy, let's go.

Oh my God!

Oh my God.

- Call the cops.

Hey, dude, mister,
I need clappers,

I'm talkin' Charge.

I'm talkin' now, let's go.

I wanna, I tell ya, I
wanna make a documentary

about poppers.

The full popper documentary.

Like poppin'.

Let's make some art!

(pounding death metal music)

- You realize this
is my apartment?

- This is what I'm
gonna be remembered for!

- This is my apartment!
- You know how many

shitty plays I've directed
and had to sit through?

And I've never been at a
play and thought, my God,

the colors, the red, the yellow,

the way they merge to make art!

- They do look like--
- And it looks

just like the logo.

- Holy shit!

It does look like the logo.

- And, Adah, most important,

it was something
that we did together.

- That's my hair.

- I know it's your.

(turd splashes)

I think you should, uh, wipe.

(toilet gurgles)

- [Adah] Do you like me?

- [Aaron] Do I like you?

Yeah, I really like
you a lot, actually.

Actually,

can I tell you a secret?

I'm totally in love
with you, I think.

- [Adah] I'm totally in
love with you, I know.

- [Aaron] Yeah, I know, too.

I was just saying I think

'cause it was like a buffer

in case you didn't say it back.

I know I'm totally
in love with you.

- [Adah] Oh, I love you.

Oh, baby.

Oh, it's so good.

- You wanna spit in my mouth?

Ah, spit again.

- Spit on me, spit on me.

- You like that?

- Yes.

Oh my God, spit all over me.

I love it.

This is a good dinner.

This is a nice dinner!

(grunting)

- Oh, is this fucking upsetting?

You, do you realize
what the fuck this is?

This is your fault.

You have to stop them.
- What are you talking about?

- Come on, guys.
- You have to stop this.

(grunting and moaning)

You are so naive sometimes.

- No, I am not!

I am not!

* Jesus, Mom, you're so naive

* Jesus, Mom, you're so naive

- Please stop this.

Please, come on.

Adah, stop!

- Stop!

Stop!

Oh, you're, yes,
I'm fucked up, yeah,

I'm so fucked up,

but, guess what, you get wasted

every fucking night
on your damn bong.

That's why I got
this guy over here.

This is my best
friend, my herpes.

- Oh yeah, good story,
you fuckin' little slut.

You know what?

- Don't talk to her that way.

- Shut up, Dad, I
wanna say something.

- [Dad] Calm down.

- Adah, stop!

Okay, you fuckin'--
You wanna be liked so badly

that you have to
shack up with this

fat, fuckin' disgusting slob?

I'm not friends with
you, you piece of shit.

I never even liked you,
you fuckin' faggot!

- Wait, how could
you say that to him?

He's your best friend.

- You know, Mom,
shut the fuck up.

(Adah screeches)

- Quiet!

Quiet!

Quiet!

Shut up, quiet!

I have an announcement to make.

I am in love with this woman.

I am in love with this woman's

perfect little asshole.

(snorts)

- Sayonara, suckers!

- [Aaron] Hey, we're in love.

We're in love.

We're in love.

We're in love.

Hey, you fuckin' dickhead.

We're in love.

We're fuckin' in love.

Come here, up here.

We're in love.

We're in love, buddy.

(honking)

- [Cab Driver] Fuck you.

(shouting)

- Oh, sorry, that's the cops.

I think.

Oh, you aren't the cops.

(shouting)

You're not gonna take
her away from me.

Oh, fuck no.

I got you a wedding present.

(shouting)

Hey, you got my wedding present!

(shouting)

I got this one!

This is yours, Adah.

What are you smilin' at?

Hey, it was good
meetin' you, though.

We got a brand new phone, baby.

(laughing)

It's fuckin' hilarious.

We have a phone!

And no one will see
a movie tonight!

We got

a

phone!

Whoa, whoa!

What are you talkin' about?

We're just here to
see Nightmare on--

- Will you go this way, please?

- We're here to see on
Christmas on Nightmare III.

We're here to see Santa

versus the elves.

Hey!

We're seeing here.

- [Adah] Aaron!

Aaron.

- We're just here
to see Halloween.

- Aaron.

You better stop it right now.

- [Aaron] We're here to see
Christmas with the Halloweens.

- [Adah] Aaron, look at me.

- What the fuck?

Can we calm down?

I love you.

- No, I love you.

You can't get into
any more trouble,

or else I'm gonna,
I'm gonna call it off.

I'm gonna call it off.
- I'm married.

Call what off?

(people chattering)

Ah, what do you got?

That ain't real!

- Don't do that, son.

- [Aaron] That rat ain't real!

- I'll punch you in the mouth.

- [Aaron] That rat ain't real!

- [Adah] Please don't.

- That rat ain't real!

None of those rats is real!

I love you, I love you,
I love you, I love you.

Hey, fuck you, gold man!

What the fuck?

What?

- You touch me, I'm gonna
knock your shit off.

- What, you wanna
knock my shit off?

Why?

- [Woman] Smack that
nigga with that crate.

- What, what are
you talkin' about,

smack that nigga
with that crate?

Who the fuck says
somethin' like that?

Who the fuck says
smack that nigga

with that crate?

(people chattering)

Yeah, fuckin' run
into traffic, bitch.

What?

Fuckin' Comedy Central.

What, what, what?

- [Man In Backpack]
Gimme that fuckin' shit.

- Comedy Central Presents.

I fuck with who?

Nah, you tell me it's right.

You tell me it's right.

You tell me it's right.

Ah, fuck you.

Fuck you, Bloomberg!

What are you fuckin'
talking about an ailment?

Did you say somethin' about

you're in a wheelchair?

Did you say why are
you in a wheelchair?

- [Man In Hoodie]
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

- Would you ever fuckin' say
something like that, bitch?

Would you?
- Aaron.

- No, I'm not gonna let.

Fuckin' asshole get away.

Whoa!

- [Woman] He loves you,
he loves you.

(laughing)

- Aaron.

* God bless America

- What?

Adah!

Adah!

Adah!

Adah!

Oh, fuck.

Adah!

(chuckling)

This is my wife.

This is my fuckin' wife.

You like that shit?

This is my fuckin'
wife, everybody.

This is my fuckin' wife.

What, you got a problem?

I love you.

Oh, shit, I'm fallin'.

This hurts my balls so much.

It's okay.

- [Adah] Oh, baby.

Oh, baby.

- [Aaron] Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck. (shouts)

Fuck.

I don't know, I don't know how

I'm gonna get out of this.

Wait, no, no, no, no, no.

Not like that, not like that.

(shouts)

- It's okay.

(Aaron groans)

- That hurt!

Hurts really bad, it does.

I hate Forever 21 so much.

(people chattering)

(indistinct) stick up your ass.

(people chattering)

Oh, God, look at that great
view of the Olive Garden.

- My whole body is my heart.

- I mean, I'm super
hard right now.

(traffic hums)

(moaning)

Well, you wanna go
see a Broadway show

or something?
- Yeah.

(moaning)

(screaming)

(shouting)

Oh, shit!

(groaning and panting)

(cackling)

- You (indistinct)...

...mortals.

It is I,

the ancient demon

Mephistopheles.

You have conjured me up

to lead you down

your wicked path.

- I didn't know that's
what we were doing.

- What the fuck did you
think we were doing?

- I thought we were
just fucking around.

- Mephistopheles,

it is I, Adah Shapiro,

who birthed you from
my mortal asshole,

and it is we who are
prepared to do your bidding.

- Yeah, we'll do your bidding.

(cackling)

- Your dark deeds
will be done.

Bring me some robes!

And then we will

have some fun.

(growling)

(whimpering)

(giggling)

- Oh, yeah.

Yes, here's a booboo.

Guess who's a little stinky.

- This is betrayal.

Do you know what I mean?

This,

this is fucking betrayal.

This is like Cain and Abel shit.

This is like Judas and
fucking Jesus shit.

This is like, this is
like, I feel like I,

I feel like I nurtured this guy.

Like, I feel like, I feel
like before he met me,

he was nothing.

Like, I feel like I,

I feel like I made, I
feel like I'm the fuck--

He's like my--
I'm the glassblower

and he's like my fuckin'
glass, you know what I mean?

Like, I'm just-- (groans)

It just makes me
want to kill him.

And, honestly, I--
What I'm imagining,

it would require like a
whole team of surgeons

with no anesthetic!

Like I'd fuckin'-- (groans)

- Adam, Adam!

- So, Mephy,

could you possibly show
us something evil, maybe?

(growling)

- Oh my God.
- Oh my God.

- I can smell.

- Oh my God.
- Oh.

Thank you so much.

- I missed that.

Thank you.
- That was getting

extremely irritating.

- I wish there was a whole
country of Aaron Marks,

and I could be the dictator

so I could commit a
fuckin' genocide on them.

I wanna drop sarin gas on
the whole fucking country

of fat, disgusting, slovenly,

stupid...

Oh my God, I just, I'll
never recover from this.

- [Analyst] Mm.

- Do you need anything else?

Well then, good night!

All hail, all hail, all hail.

All hail, all hail.
- All hail, all hail.

- All hail, all hail.
- All hail, all hail.

- All hail, all hail.
- All hail, all hail.

- All hail, all hail.
- All hail, all hail.

- Like, he was the guy
that I saw being, like,

friend, like when
you're old, and,

and, you know, and
your family's gone,

and, and...

That, that you have one friend,

and that's Aaron, like,

like we would be old dudes,

like talkin' about
the good old days,

and I feel like
that's all evaporated.

Like, I don't--

(sighs)

It's okay, though, I guess.

I guess I can make
other friends.

- Well, what if
you join my group?

- Why?

- I just feel as though, uh,

this type of sentiment,

this type of connection,
can be brought

into a different setting,

and you can make new connections

and, and meet new people,

and, and....

- Yeah, but I don't like people.

I don't like, like I,

I would be terrible.

I don't wanna be around others.

It's-- I'm good on my own.

I had one friend,
now I have none.

Zero's good for me

in the friend department.

- What about me?

- Yeah, you're not
really a friend, though.

I mean, I wish we were friends.

- Well, couldn't we be
friends in the group?

- Maybe.

- [Aaron] Hey, uh, can
I ask you a question?

- Mm hmm.

- [Aaron] What's uh, what,
what's the plan with Mephy?

- What do you mean?

- I mean...

what, what are you trying
to get out of Mephy?

Where is it leading?

- She's around for a reason.

- What's the reason?

- [Adah] Shit, ow, fuck,
burns your fingers.

Shit!

Oh my God.
- Adah.

Are you positive that he's
even gonna come down this way?

- Of course I'm positive.

He only goes to one coffee shop,

and it's that one.

- Well, you think maybe
he'll draw attention to us

when he starts screaming
like a little bitch?

- This is covered in poppers.

We'll put it over his face

and he'll pass the fuck, ow,
it fuckin' burns your fingers.

- [Aaron]
It doesn't burn at all.

- Oh my God, there he is!

There he is!

Shit, but Patrick's with him.

- [Aaron] Patrick who?

- [Adah] My analyst.

- [Aaron] My analyst?

- Our analyst.

- Shit.
- Oh my God,

he's gonna talk us through it.

I don't wanna be
analyzed anymore.

- What now, genius?

- Go get him!

- [Adah] Go get him!

- [Mephy] Go get him!

(pounding death metal music)

- Oh, I can't see
through the blinds!

Aaron, go over there
and see what's up?

- So I have this patient

six to seven months.

About four days
ago, she comes in

and she says, uh,
two things in a row.

Last night, I thought
about five ways

of committing suicide.

And then follows it,

looking at me in
a very dreamy way,

and saying, I'm
obsessed with you.

(Aaron panting)

- What's up?

- Group.

- Group, what do you mean group?

- Like sitting
around in a group.

Like, group therapy,
that's what he's.

He's in group therapy.

- He really needs that.

Shit!

Shit, shit, shit.

Oh my God, there he is!

Aaron, go.

Go talk to him.
- Why me?

- Because he hates you less.

- God, he hates me plenty.
- Go, go, go, go, go.

- [Aaron] Hey.

- Oh, hey.

- [Aaron] What's up?

- What's up? What are you,

what are you doing here?
- I was just walkin' around.

I almost didn't recognize you.

You look so, oh, dapper.

- Oh, thanks, man.

- [Aaron] Yeah.

- Um.

- [Aaron] Therapy,
you're doin' therapy?

- Yeah, actually, well,
it's more like a group

of analysts.

- Oh, I've never tried.

Oh, a group of analysts?

- Yeah, yeah, kind of,

it's kind of like
an analytical--

I, I'm becoming a
psychoanalyst, actually.

So.

- You're training to
become a psychoanalyst?

- Yeah, yeah.

It's kind of a new
direction for me.

- Yeah, wow.

Okay, hey.
- Yeah, it was good to,

good to see you.
- Yeah, yeah, I gotta go,

but, uh, I'll talk to you.
- Yeah.

Bye, man.

- What'd you find out?

- He's training to
become a psychoanalyst.

- Fuck!

Why are you here?

- [Aaron] I don't
know why I'm here.

- Literally, why are you here?
- I have no idea why I'm here.

- If you are not
going to help me kill

my brother?

Help me kill my brother.

- I'm not gonna do that.

I'm not, I'm not even
talking about this.

- Yes you are!
- I'm not.

- You are talking
about it right now.

Let me ask you a question, okay?

Let me ask you a very
serious question.

If you weren't down to do
some evil shit with me,

like kill my fucking brother,

why did you help
me conjure Mephy?

- I didn't know you were
gonna shit out a demon, okay?

I wouldn't have
signed off on that.

I'm sorry, Mephy, but,

I, I, I can't deal
with this anymore.

- Aaron.
- Seriously.

I shouldn't have gone along

with it as much as I have.
- Aaron, Aaron,

let me say something

that goes against my
feminist views for a second.

Man the fuck up

and kill my brother with me!
- Oh, fuck you, no!

- Man the fuck up, okay?
- I'm not, I'm not.

It's a moral boundary
that I'm not crossing,

okay?
- Moral boundary.

- I'm not, I'm not.
- Swallow boundary.

- You know what, no, no, no.

Adah.

Your sexual bullshit is
not gonna convince me

to kill anyone.

How weak do you

think I, I am?

(cackling)

- A patient that I don't think

I've brought in before.

Been seeing him a
little over a year.

Says he's happy with his family.

He's got three children,

he's got a wife that he
speaks very fondly of.

Every week, three times a week,

he, he,

he comes in like ready to work.

And this last week,

he came in,

and he,

I knew he had something to say

from the minute he sat down.

Like, something was
gonna come out of this.

And he, um,

he said, "You know,
this is going so well,

and I, I feel like I know you,

and that you know me,

and, but there's something

that I just, it's like

bothering me

because I don't
think you'll ever

really know me until
I show you my penis."

And, and, and, and, and, and
it flashed through my mind,

him standing up and unzipping,

and pulling out his penis.

- [Analyst] Didn't
you want someone else

in there with you?

- [Blonde Analyst]
I didn't feel threatened.

I did not feel threatened.

- That's good.
- How come?

- [Blonde Analyst]
But I did feel angry.

After, like, this initial,

like, sexual, and then anger.

So I don't, you know, I mean,

that's like a whole,
I don't know

if that has anything
to do with him at all.

You know?

- [Analyst] Did you see it?

- I don't think he did.
- Like reflected?

- [Blonde Analyst]
No, he didn't.

You mean his penis?

- [Analyst] No, no, no.

Emotion reflected in his face

about what he saw in you.

- [Blonde Analyst]
But he was watching me.

- [Analyst] So what'd you say?

- Well, I said, I said,

"Therapy is about
talking through things"

and that

instead of showing me his penis,

why doesn't he tell
me about his penis,

why doesn't he tell me
all about his penis?

(knocking)

- [Adah] New York
City Census Bureau.

- Door's open.

- On your knees, motherfuckers!

(shouting and gibbering)

Wait,

where's Adam?

- Oh, he had a migraine.

He didn't make it.

- See,

now that's phallic.

Right?

- [Patrick] Yes, absolutely.

- It looks very phallic,

but phallic woman to,

rather than man to,

don't you think?
- Yes.

- Woman to group.

Are you thinking of
penis envy in this case?

- Uh, I'm, I'm really not sure,

because it's gender blind,

it seems to be
directed at all of us.

Um.

Who is she?

- That is a patient of mine.

- [Analyst] Who works
with the Census, you mean?

- She does not work
for the Census.

- Oh.
- Oh.

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Um,

Mephy, um,

wanted me to tell you

that she had to

go.

- Go where?

- Eh, she wasn't specific.

The underworld, I assume.

Wherever she came from.

- So she's not coming back?

- (sighs) She's a demon, Adah.

I don't know.

- Oh my God.

- [Aaron] Don't get upset.

- Oh God.

- I mean, try not to.

Adah,

Adah.

She's a demon.

Adah, she's a, she can't--

Adah, I need you to calm down.

Calm down.

Okay?

Adah, I know it's weird.

What do you think?

Huh?

Okay.

(snorting)

Do you feel better?

Huh?

- I don't feel anything.

(snorting)

- Nothin'.

What the fuck?

(hissing)

(gurgling)

(sighing)

What the fuck is going on?

(Aaron breathing)

- Your breathing
sounds kind of loud.

- I'm breathing the
same way I always do.

- This is louder.

Better.

(groaning)

Oh my God, Aaron, wake up.

It's 4:30 in the afternoon.

- Huh?
- Oh, shit.

(gasping)

- Family dinner.
- Family dinner.

- The patients are
both sculptors,

and that's important.

She makes these, like, um.

They're hard to explain.

They're like, uh,
animations that--

Basically, they're like videos

that look like mountains,

or kind of like breasts, or--

Actually, when she makes them,

she thinks of them in
terms of sculpture.

To hear her describe it

is very, very interesting.

But, anyway, she's
starting to get

some real attention
for her work.

She was just written
up in the Times.

The, um, Neue
Museum's interested

in showing some of her pieces.

So it's very exciting,

and he's happy for her.

On the surface, right?

He's doing and saying
all the right things

but, at the same
time, he's become

completely just
obsessed with the idea

of having a baby.

He was saying things
like, sweetheart,

I think you can have it all.

I think you can have
a career and a baby.

I'm even willing to
be a stay-at-home dad,

which was kind of
interesting he said that.

And

I just felt like him
wanting a baby so badly

in this moment

had something to do with this,

you know, an underground rage,

an anger that I don't think

he's allowing himself
to really feel

at his wife's success.

And I kept wanting to,

I kept wanting to bring that up,

but I just felt that I couldn't.

- You really listen
to your instincts,

and I commend you for that.

I mean, that is the sign
of a seasoned analyst.

He obviously wasn't
ready to hear that.

I'm proud of you.

- Thanks, that's why
I didn't say anything.

But they just were, kept,
kept going at each other.

And then he revealed to me that

they'd just gotten
into a fender bender

on their way to the
appointment with me.

She had been driving,

which is kind of an
interesting metaphor,

and that that was probably
adding to the level of anxiety,

and I went, "Wow,

that's fascinating."

Then I said,

"You know,

I just want you to know
that it's been my impulse

to give you a hug."

And then she started to cry.

And I asked her,

"Is, is that something
that you feel you need?"

And she said,"Yeah."

And then I asked her

if he had been
affectionate at all

with her recently,

and she said, "No",

which is interesting,

and not really surprising.

And I was a little scared to say

that I felt this
impulse to hug them,

'cause, you know, that,

I mean, that's an
unorthodox thing to say,

but I was just so
glad that I did

because it finally
just got them,

them talking

about the relationship.

So, yeah, it was, it
was an amazing session.

- [Mom] Well, I am blown away.

I mean, you should
write this up.

It should go in a journal.

It's unreal.

I, I, you, you seem so seasoned.

- Thanks.

Yeah, I, I, I mean, I
was very, very happy

with how I handled them.

(shouting and groaning)

Okay, okay.

Okay, no, no, no, no,
help them, help them.

- Oh my God, Aaron, Aaron.

(gagging)

(muffled, droning voices)

- Mommy.

- Oh my God.

- Oh, Adah, Adah.

Oh, sweetie.

- Oh my God.
- You're okay.

- Oh my God.

- [Dad] Sweetie, sweetie.

- We have you.

- [Dad] You're back.

Oh my God.

- Oh my God.

- Oh, thank God.

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

It's okay, it's okay.

That's fine, just rest.

Just rest.

- Where's Aaron?

- [Dad] He's okay, he's okay.

(Mom weeps)

- Mommy.

I'm okay.

- But I'm so happy.

So happy.

This is the best.

- [Dad] Oh no.

(weeping)

- He got a tumor
from his cellphone?

- You have to
remember the cottage,

the cottage in East Hampton.

The one by the,
the roadside tea set.

- I, I think you,
you have me confused

with someone.

- Oh, it was stunning,

and there was a, there
was a Japanese garden

and amazing pool house.

Oh, yeah.

The last time that
we went there was,

God, could it have
been around the time

of the whole Monica
Lewinsky thing?

Oh, Bill, big bad Bill.
(chuckles)

Remember, we, we went
on that glorious

midnight swim when you kids

were really, really little.

- My family never had a
house in the Hamptons.

So you're thinkin'
of somebody else.

I'm, I'm sorry.

- No, no, no, it's
definitely you.

I, I remember that face.

I remember that pu-nam.

And, also, I remember your tush

because you had a big
ole sunburn on it.

It was you.

Ah, you kids grow up way
too fast for my taste.

- I've never been to the beach

in my entire life.

Ever.

Do you wanna go?

- Yeah.

We're gonna go.

- Are you coming back?

Are you coming back?

- Yeah.

I love you.

- Love you.

(speaking foreign language)

- Oh no, I don't,
I don't, I don't.

I mean, look at me.

- My greatest fear is all this.

You know how cancer-phobic I am.

I can't believe
it happened to me.

I thought phobias protected you.

- I really love your hat.

I love velvet.

- We were so good about
all the vegetables.

They didn't have candy
'til they were like five.

I thought that would
maybe set the stage.

You know, a little bit.

- Let me try it on.

Just let me try it on.

How do I look?

- I'm just really a
little annoyed with him.

I mean, you know, he
never used his earphones.

He didn't use speaker.

I've always said
speaker, speaker.

- No one uses their
earphones, nobody.

- Why are you making
excuses for him?

You, you know.

Can't I be a little
angry with him?

That's important.
- All right, all right.

All right, let it out.

I'm sorry.

- It's okay.

(traffic hums)

- [Adah] Are you fucking
with me right now?

- [Aaron] What?

- [Adah] Do you know
what just happened?

I don't wanna
fucking eat anything.

I'm fucking sick to my
damn fucking stomach.

- [Aaron] I just
meant the food there.

You weren't eating it.

- [Adah] Hold on, oh my God.

Oh, oh my God!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.

- Just keep moving.
- The thing that just happened

to me is that I realized
that Mephy killed

Adam for us.

Mephy killed him.

- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- Oh my God.

- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- Oh my God, I can't,

I can't, I can't.
- Adah, get up.

Do not cause a scene, okay?

Do not cause a scene.

There's no point in doing it.

- Oh my God.
- Listen to me, listen to me.

- Oh my God, no, we killed him.

We did it, that's what happens.

- No, no, no.

Sorry, sorry.

Listen.

- Oh my God!

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

- Listen, that was an
aborted mission, okay?

What we planned was very bad,

and it's good that
it didn't happen.

It's bad that it did happen.

It's all, it's very freaky.

Stop!

Adah.

- Oh my God.

I killed my brother!
- Stop, stop.

Stop, stop.

- I killed my brother.

I killed my brother.
- Stop.

- I killed my brother.

Please.

You need to, you need to tell.

- Do you wanna get high?

- [Adah] Oh my God,
do I wanna get high?

Yes, I wanna get high.

I wanna get high,
I wanna get high,

I wanna get high,
I wanna get high,

I wanna get high,
I wanna get high!

- Don't scream.

- I want.

I think we did it.

We got it over there.

- [Aaron] (sighs) Do you
wanna do it first, or?

- Mm, no, shouldn't we
just do it together?

- Okay.

One, oh.

(snorting)

Nothin'.

- Nope.
- Why did we think

this would work?

- I don't know.

- What the fuck?

Oh, hold on, wait, hold on.

(high-pitched droning)

- Are you?

Yeah.

I'm feelin'.

You want another?

(snorting)

It does take a second.

- It does.

That it does.

You forget that
it takes a second.

- You do forget that,

but then you remember.
- Do you want one more?

- Go again.

(snorting)

(giggling)

- It travels up.

- That it does.

That's my favorite feeling.
(squeals)

Ew, baby, your breath.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my
God, oh my God, oh my God.

(screams)

(cackling)

(dramatic instrumental music)

- [Announcer] The following
is rated TV-MA-LSV.

It contains strong language,

violence, and nudity.

It is intended only
for mature audiences.

Viewer discretion advised.

(siren wails)

- [Aaron] There is no problem.

- [Adah] Yeah, I think other
people call it a problem

'cause, you know,
they don't agree

with our lifestyle.

That's not really relevant.

(farting)

- [Aaron] It opens
the anus right up.

It's not just for gays.

It's a lot of fun, too.

You do it, and then it's like

I'm ready for a good time.

It's as simple as that.

- It really sickens me

to have seen the things
that I've seen with Adah.

- Do you know what it's
like to be a father

and watch your daughter

doing poppers
right in your face?

- [Adah] Where are you?

- [Aaron] Dumb bitch.

(farting)

Get off.

- [Adah] Oh my God, get off me!

Fuck you!

- [Aaron] Fuckin' bitch.

- [Adah] Fuck you,
you fucking whore.

Get out of my house!

The thing about poppers is

you wake up, you do poppers,

you eat lunch,

you don't eat lunch,

you do poppers.

You know, you just are
always poppin' on poppers.

- [Aaron] A normal day for me,

wake up, do some poppers.

Then it's all kind of a
blur after that, you know?

I do a lot more poppers,
I'll tell ya that much,

and, uh, Adah's involved.

Work hard, party hard.

Someone's gotta pick that up.

(snorting)

And give it back.

No pocketing these things.

- When she was a baby,
she was like really quiet.

And, um, she was
like the sweetest,

most easy child a mother
could ever imagine having.

- You know, if I
think about Adah

and what she was
like as a little kid,

I don't see any signs.

You know, I would
walk her to school,

hand-in-hand, we'd be,

she'd be skipping,
and we'd be singing,

skip, skip, skip to my school.

What's more exciting?

Going to the first day of school

or the first day of camp?

- First day of school.

- [Anthony] And why?

- Because I like it better.

- [Anthony] What's better
about school than camp?

- I don't know.

I just--

- It's really strange.

I mean, I'm a psychoanalyst.

I really thought that, you know,

that I was on top of things,

but I really, I
think my problem is

that I loved my
children too much.

I really fucked up.

When she got to college,

I think that's when she
started experimenting.

Then there's the whole
thing with, uh, Aaron.

(dramatic instrumental music)

She got crazy.

- Abomination, abomination.

- Okay, partly right,
partly right.

- [Anne] She fell
into the wrong crowd.

- I am a demon.

And

I suppose I am

very, very evil.

- Just love that feeling.

I just don't get
it any other way.

On the list of priorities,

man, it's poppers, and
then everything else.

(siren chirps)

- Who am I

in relation to everything else?

How do my race, my sexuality,

and my economic background

affect

me

and those with whom I share

this profoundly
mistreated planet?

Well, you know, I
used to have dreams

like everyone else, but, uh,

you know, I don't
really give a shit.

Just havin' a good
time, as I said, so...

- [Interviewer] Any advice
for, like, young kids

watching this program?

- Just fuck it, just don't care

about what anyone says.

And, uh, be your
own boss, like me.

- We were dealing with, uh,

a loss in the family.

Her brother

has died not long ago.

Great!

- [Anthony] Yay!

We love you, buddy.

- I, myself, feel like I am

mourning two children.

They were the best,

just the best kids,

and they're gone.

And, and we can't get Adam back,

but I'm really hoping
we can get Adah back.

I'm really hoping.

- There is an element, uh,

where I failed
them as an analyst.

That is, that is
absolutely the case.

But I think, today

will be the beginning
of a new chapter

for all of us, including me,

and I can really
be helpful to them,

finally, in their journey.

- How do I feel about
people in my life

tryin' to get me help?

Annoyed.

"Leave me alone."

That's what I say to them.

That's what I'll say to you.

I don't even know what the
fuck's goin' on right now.

I don't know who you
are or what this is.

But I'm tired of it.

And I want the money
I was promised.

Soon. (farting)

- [Anthony] I'm a little unclear

about what exactly
is gonna happen.

I mean, how, what's,
what, what exactly

are you expecting from us?

- No matter what they tell us,

reasons that they don't
have to go to treatment,

that they're not crazy,

that they're not
needing of anything,

we go back at them, and we say,

"You do need treatment.
No matter what,

we are gonna get you there."
- That makes sense.

That makes sense.

- You're 100% in this?

- 100%, I'm very on board.

On board with you.

- But, Mom, I'm not feeling it.

Are you willing to
risk the relationship

with your daughter to get
her to go to treatment?

- Risk the relationship
with my daughter?

That, that's ludicrous.

I'm an attachment parent.

- What are you talking about?

- I would never--
- You may have to.

You may have to do exactly that.

- That's not my way of living.

I don't believe in that.
- If you're not willing

to do that, you may lose her!

How else are we
gonna get her back?

- That is not who we are.

- This is why we're here!
- That is not who we are!

- Mom, excuse me.

Mother, Dad.

Dad.

Let me reframe this.

Mom, it's a secret between us,

but all you have
to do is sell her

on the feeling that
you will reject her.

- Well, that I will do.
- If she doesn't go

to treatment.
- I can do that.

I can do that.

- It's not a simple sale.
- Stop it.

Stop trying to control me.

- I'm not, I'm just giving you--

- Be quiet.

- Listen, this is
a deep life (indistinct).

She is gone.

If you don't do this,
she will not be back.

- She knows.

(dramatic instrumental music)

- Yeah, okay.

They're comin'.

- Oh, boy.

Oh, dear.

- Let's just get, let's.

(dramatic instrumental music)

- [Adah] Where are we?

(dramatic instrumental music)

Will you please tell me where
the fuck we are, please?

- [Patrick]
This is an intervention.

(farting)

- [Adah] Oh my God.

(shouting)

- [Patrick] Come on, come on.

(shouting and farting)

- Do not use that language.

- You can't scream
like that at us.

It's not okay.

And, Aaron, I know
you don't like us.

- Adah, you need to
calm down right now.

Adah, listen.

I won't touch you,
just don't hit me.

(farting)

- [Patrick] It's okay.

We are here because we love you.

(farting)

- You are the most
unique individual.

I know it seems like a while

since you've been yourself,

but you are the most
precious person we have,

and we are going to
do whatever it takes,

including cutting
you out of our lives.

- [Patrick] Aaron, sit, Aaron.

- [Adah] Aaron,
come back, Aaron!

Where are you?

(dramatic instrumental music)

- Whatever it takes.

We will even cut you
out of our lives.

- That's right.

- We will cut you out,

and I mean it.

- 30 days of sobriety.

That is our only request.

We need that to happen.

- [Anthony] We love you so much.

Please.

- If you wanna reset.

Do not pull her.

Aaron, do not pull her.

Aaron, do not pull her.

- Here, here.

- I need you both to agree.

We're all holding
hands together.

Aaron, will you
do this for Adah?

(farting)

Please don't talk
to me like that.

Will you do it for Adah?

Adah?

(farting)

Will you do it for Aaron?

Please.

Aaron.
- Can you help him?

- [Man] Let's go.

- Let them hug each other,

let them hug each other.

- [Aaron] Uh, uh, that
can get out of control.

That can get out of control!

- Aaron, let her go!

- That can get out of control.

- Let her go!
- Stop, stop.

Adah, Adah.

Adah, Adah.

Please, Adah, Adah.

Adah.

(shouting)

(beeping)

- [Adah] Mommy, Daddy, Aaron
and I just wanted to say

thank you...

- [Aaron] For helping
us clean up our act,

and I just can't
tell you how amazing

it feels to be sober.

It, it's incredible.

- It really, really is!

- Well, I know we
staged the intervention,

and it wasn't easy,

but you did the work.

- Yeah, I'm really
proud of both of you.

- [Adah] Well,
there's one more thing

we wanted to tell you.
- What, honey?

- [Adah] We're pregnant!

- Pregnant?

We're gonna be grandparents!

Oh, oh, my.

Another little
asshole in the family!

It's perfect.

- It's so exciting.

(chattering)

(cheerful instrumental music)

(moves into pounding
death metal music)