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Hello, welcome to my lecture.
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Today, I'm going to teach you how to
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use the new iPad Air.
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First, you need to instal the new iPad
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Air.
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So do you, pal.
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Charlie dropped by and brought me the most
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beautiful wild orchids.
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Look at that.
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Well, did she offer you a drink?
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Oh, she did.
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How about a cigar?
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Yeah, I got one of those too.
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Well, you're all set then, huh?
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Except that I gotta go to work.
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Oh.
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But thank you for your hospitality, ma'am.
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Why, you are most welcome kind, sir.
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Good of you to drop by, Charlie.
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Keep Ed in the company.
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Well, I thought at least I could be
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better company than that dull carrot.
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Here you go, Shifty-Eyes.
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Here you go, Shifty-Eyes.
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Is that all he ever says?
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Of course not.
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Tom, Tom.
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San Diego, Belgrade, Sofia.
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Love to you, Mr. Stimble.
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All aboard.
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Well, what's that supposed to mean?
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It took us a while to figure it
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out, but we finally decided.
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It's the last five stops on the old
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Orient Express heading east.
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Where do you suppose he ever learned that?
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Travelling.
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Very strange little man born and brought to
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New Orleans.
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You guys have got yourself one weird bird.
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Here you go, Shifty-Eyes.
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Shifty-Eyes.
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He's making a habit of these afternoon visits,
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isn't he?
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Oh, darling, Charlie's harmless.
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Is he?
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San Diego, Belgrade, Sofia.
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Love to you, Mr. Stimble.
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All aboard.
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You're one of those cats, Mr. Tom.
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What happened?
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Something broke in here.
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Is he all right?
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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He seems to be all right.
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He's lost a few feathers.
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It was one of those cats, wasn't it?
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One of those damn cats.
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No, it wasn't any cat.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Oh.
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Have you seen what our bird has been
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doing?
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Looks like he's building a nest to me.
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Drink, Charlie?
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Got one.
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Cigar?
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Almost there.
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Stay for dinner?
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Oh, he can't.
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He has to go to work.
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Oh, of course.
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Forgot.
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I asked Charlie to drop by, darling, so
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that he could give us some advice about
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Tom.
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No.
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You better start calling him Thomasina, good buddy.
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Because what you got out there is a
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female parrot.
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You're a parrot expert now, Charlie?
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No, but I can tell a male from
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a female in pretty near every creature God
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ever made.
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And what you got out there right now
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is a female parrot that's fixing to raise
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a family.
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I was so relieved when he told me.
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I thought poor Tom was going crazy.
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She wouldn't talk and just kept putting all
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these little pieces of paper and sticks together
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the whole time.
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She was building a nest.
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Isn't that exciting?
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Very.
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Yeah, I wonder who the daddy is.
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Very good question.
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Jack!
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Jack!
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What?
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You better come quickly.
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Why?
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It's Tom.
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He's...
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Impossible.
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She looks awful.
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Tom?
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You all right?
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Gee, you got shifty eyes.
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Gee, you got shifty...
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She's dead.
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What shall we do with this?
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We could blow it.
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Keep it as a souvenir.
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You can't be serious.
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Why?
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Well, that's cruel.
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I know.
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We could...
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We could incubate it and make it hatch.
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We don't know anything about hatching parrots.
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I know.
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I'll call Charlie.
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He knows about things like that.
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He'll know what to do.
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Yeah.
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It's a good idea you do that.
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Call Charlie.
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Well, where are you going?
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To dig the grave to bury Tom, unless
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you want Charlie to do that, too.
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Oh, don't be that way, Jack.
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I told you, Charlie is completely harmless.
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Is he?
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Look, I...
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Oh, darling.
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It won't be that way again.
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Not like in Mexico.
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Not ever again.
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Charlie's going away, darling.
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Yeah, they want me back at headquarters.
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Telex just came in.
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I'm gonna be gone about six weeks.
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I brought this over to hatch your egg
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in.
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Who told you about the egg?
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Oh, well, I told him, darling.
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I...
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I called Charlie while you were out digging
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poor old Thomasine's grave.
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Now, all you do is put the egg
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in here, turn the light on, keep it
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warm, it ought to pop right out of
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the shell.
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I just knocked this together with some old
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junk I had laying around, so it ain't
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fancy, but it ought to work.
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That's awful, sweetie, Charlie.
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Won't you come in and have a drink?
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No, no, I can't.
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I got to go pack.
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Here you go, Jack.
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Thanks.
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You know, I'm kind of curious about what's
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gonna hatch out of that egg.
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Since you say you didn't get a good
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look at the daddy, it might turn out
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to be something unusual.
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I never said I didn't get a good
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look at him.
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You saw him?
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He never told me that.
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Well, what'd he look like?
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Well...
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He was different.
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Did you hear that?
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It's Charlie.
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He's back.
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I heard.
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We could at least try to be civil.
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Always civil.
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Always polite.
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In fact, sometimes I think I must be
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the politest man in the whole world.
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Darling, you're going to have to try to
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do something about your dream.
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Your drinking these past six weeks have just
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been...
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I know.
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You told me.
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The past six weeks have been hell.
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But if you would just try to...
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Do something about my drinking?
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I think I will.
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I think I'll have another drink.
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Charlie, why don't you tell me everything I
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want to know, all the details?
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Hi, Jack.
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Charlie.
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That was headquarters.
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Oh, great.
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Just great.
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I'm glad you hear what I heard about
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you.
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Really?
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Meantime, what can I offer you?
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My liquor?
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My cigars?
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My piano?
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My wife.
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Now, that last remark wasn't very funny, friend.
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Don't pay any attention to him.
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For the past few days, he's just been
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brooding.
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Brooding, huh?
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About what?
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Charlie...
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You're a mechanical genius.
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Well, I always thought of myself as half
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smart.
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But genius?
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It's an incubator you knocked together.
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It worked.
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Boy, did it work.
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Your egg hatched, huh?
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It hatched.
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Well, where's the offspring?
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Good Lord!
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It grew to that size in six weeks?
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Five weeks.
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It took a week for the egg to
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hatch.
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But it's black.
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Cold black.
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I don't think I've even heard of a
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black parrot.
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It's not a parrot, Charlie.
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Well, what is it?
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Well, it's interesting.
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You're the expert on, uh...
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What do you call them, all the God's
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critters?
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Well, what kind of a critter is that?
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Male?
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Female?
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Something in between.
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I don't think I've ever seen anything like
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it.
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I want to give the thing away.
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Why?
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Because it...
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watches.
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Watches what?
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Everything.
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Can it talk?
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Not sure.
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Can you talk, handsome?
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Is that what you named it, handsome?
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Hasn't got a name, but I sometimes...
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call it handsome.
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Edna doesn't call it anything at all, doesn't
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she?
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Doesn't like to be watched.
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Let's not waste the whole evening talking about
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that stupid bird.
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Charlie, I want you to tell me all
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about headquarters.
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I want to hear all the gossip.
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Well, they're real high on your husband there.
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From what I can gather, anyway, they're gonna...
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got some real big plans for us.
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Did you hear that, Jack?
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I'd be rewarded for it.
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Happiness of thought and neatness.
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Neatness counts for a great deal at headquarters.
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You can turn in a report that says
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nothing at all.
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But so long as it's neat, headquarters will
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be delighted.
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Well, I reckon I brought back a little
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news about myself, too.
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Oh, what?
291
00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:33,720
I'm gonna be transferred.
292
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:35,360
When?
293
00:16:37,180 --> 00:16:37,880
Next week.
294
00:16:39,260 --> 00:16:40,300
Where are you going?
295
00:16:42,140 --> 00:16:42,660
Bogota.
296
00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:44,500
Bogota.
297
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:46,920
Lot of pirates in Bogota.
298
00:16:48,940 --> 00:16:49,760
Hear that, handsome?
299
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,680
Charlie's being transferred to Bogota.
300
00:16:54,800 --> 00:16:55,660
What do you think of that?
301
00:17:26,450 --> 00:17:27,930
Well, I waited as long as I could,
302
00:17:28,050 --> 00:17:29,130
Jack, but I gotta catch that plane.
303
00:17:29,950 --> 00:17:31,490
I just stopped over to say so long.
304
00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:33,190
Say so long to Edna?
305
00:17:33,390 --> 00:17:33,770
Oh, yeah.
306
00:17:34,170 --> 00:17:35,050
Yeah, we said goodbye.
307
00:17:35,350 --> 00:17:36,450
Hope it wasn't too painful.
308
00:17:37,870 --> 00:17:39,690
Well, Jack, I never like saying goodbye to
309
00:17:39,690 --> 00:17:40,150
good friends.
310
00:17:41,510 --> 00:17:42,850
And that's how I always think of you
311
00:17:42,850 --> 00:17:43,190
and Edna.
312
00:17:44,570 --> 00:17:45,190
Good friends.
313
00:17:45,950 --> 00:17:46,770
Say goodbye to the bird?
314
00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:51,460
You know, Jack, you ought to get rid
315
00:17:51,460 --> 00:17:51,880
of that bird.
316
00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:53,400
He don't do nothing but sit up there
317
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,380
and chuckle that mean, low-down chuckle of
318
00:17:55,380 --> 00:17:56,040
his all day long.
319
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,380
It's driving Edna plum crazy.
320
00:17:57,980 --> 00:17:58,600
You know what she said?
321
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:00,480
Well, she didn't come right out and say
322
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:01,540
it, but shoot, you can tell.
323
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:02,400
I mean, you can tell.
324
00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:03,920
That bird's driving her crazy.
325
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:09,180
I hope you straighten out, boy.
326
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:12,300
I surely do.
327
00:18:17,650 --> 00:18:18,970
So long, Charlie.
328
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:38,300
Hiya, handsome.
329
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:41,700
Ready for your lesson?
330
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:43,860
Okay, now.
331
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:45,540
Repeat after me.
332
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,720
Gee, you got shifty eyes.
333
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,560
Gee, you got shifty eyes.
334
00:18:54,620 --> 00:18:56,060
I'll bet you could talk if you wanted
335
00:18:56,060 --> 00:18:56,300
to.
336
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,740
I'll bet you could tell me all kinds
337
00:18:58,740 --> 00:18:59,580
of interesting things.
338
00:19:01,460 --> 00:19:02,900
I didn't hear you come in.
339
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:05,640
Just, uh...
340
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:06,920
giving handsome his lesson.
341
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:09,100
He's not much of a pupil.
342
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,160
You missed Charlie.
343
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:12,780
He dropped over to say goodbye.
344
00:19:12,940 --> 00:19:14,440
No, I didn't miss him.
345
00:19:14,980 --> 00:19:15,920
You saw him?
346
00:19:16,580 --> 00:19:17,540
Well, he's right.
347
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:19,860
He, uh, he stopped and chatted.
348
00:19:19,860 --> 00:19:20,760
He wanted to say farewell.
349
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:29,340
Charlie, with his wisdom, thinks you're going crazy.
350
00:19:30,740 --> 00:19:32,300
Charlie didn't say that.
351
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:34,460
Yes, he did.
352
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:36,540
How long was he here?
353
00:19:37,180 --> 00:19:38,420
About an hour, I guess.
354
00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:41,340
I suppose you could spend an hour saying
355
00:19:41,340 --> 00:19:43,620
goodbye to somebody if he'd tell you you
356
00:19:43,620 --> 00:19:44,200
were going crazy.
357
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,240
You're making that up.
358
00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:47,100
No.
359
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,540
He thinks the bird is driving you crazy.
360
00:19:51,420 --> 00:19:54,300
It just makes me nervous, that's all.
361
00:19:56,060 --> 00:20:00,360
Look, Jack, can we talk?
362
00:20:00,820 --> 00:20:01,200
Sure.
363
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:03,300
Not here.
364
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:05,160
In the bedroom?
365
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:07,640
Private, huh?
366
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,740
That's right, private.
367
00:20:17,770 --> 00:20:18,370
Wow!
368
00:20:25,220 --> 00:20:26,820
I have some news, darling.
369
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:27,740
Some good news.
370
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:28,960
What?
371
00:20:31,660 --> 00:20:33,000
I'm going to have a baby.
372
00:20:34,060 --> 00:20:34,680
You're sure?
373
00:20:36,660 --> 00:20:37,740
I'm very sure.
374
00:20:42,430 --> 00:20:43,890
Damn, that is great.
375
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,450
That is just great.
376
00:20:46,190 --> 00:20:46,790
When?
377
00:20:47,390 --> 00:20:48,290
I mean, when?
378
00:20:48,510 --> 00:20:50,010
About seven months, I guess.
379
00:20:50,730 --> 00:20:51,170
A baby?
380
00:20:52,030 --> 00:20:52,810
A son.
381
00:20:53,750 --> 00:20:54,210
An heir.
382
00:20:54,590 --> 00:20:55,550
A daughter, I mean.
383
00:20:55,990 --> 00:20:56,810
What would a daughter be?
384
00:20:57,410 --> 00:20:57,830
An heiress.
385
00:20:58,510 --> 00:20:59,950
This changes everything.
386
00:21:00,930 --> 00:21:03,590
No more fighting, no more brooding, no more
387
00:21:03,590 --> 00:21:04,250
booze.
388
00:21:06,790 --> 00:21:10,290
First, one last celebration.
389
00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:13,010
Bottle of champagne in the refrigerator.
390
00:21:14,590 --> 00:21:15,070
What do you say?
391
00:21:17,090 --> 00:21:18,430
One last celebration.
392
00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:34,640
Darling, could I ask you just one thing?
393
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:35,880
Anything.
394
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,840
Can we get rid of that awful bird?
395
00:21:39,420 --> 00:21:39,860
Done.
396
00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:41,040
First thing in the morning.
397
00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:42,320
Now, champagne.
398
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:15,740
What do you think, handsome?
399
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:18,760
I'm going to be a father.
400
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:20,500
You don't say so.
401
00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:21,820
What about Jack?
402
00:22:32,490 --> 00:22:33,350
What did you say?
403
00:22:33,890 --> 00:22:34,950
You think the child is his?
404
00:22:35,190 --> 00:22:36,910
Don't worry, he's a fool.
405
00:22:37,770 --> 00:22:38,990
Just kiss me, darling.
406
00:22:40,890 --> 00:22:42,290
Jack, what was that?
407
00:22:42,630 --> 00:22:42,930
Nothing.
408
00:22:46,510 --> 00:22:47,270
Say it again.
409
00:22:56,170 --> 00:22:58,550
Say it again, just one more time.
410
00:22:59,330 --> 00:23:00,490
You think the child is his?
411
00:23:00,590 --> 00:23:02,150
Don't worry, he's a fool.
412
00:23:02,950 --> 00:23:04,090
Just kiss me, darling.
413
00:23:05,130 --> 00:23:06,590
Jack, where's the champagne?
414
00:23:12,610 --> 00:23:13,610
He's a fool.
415
00:23:13,850 --> 00:23:14,810
Just kiss me, darling.
416
00:23:27,990 --> 00:23:28,930
Where's the champagne?
417
00:23:32,470 --> 00:23:32,950
Jack!
418
00:23:59,570 --> 00:24:01,030
You think the child is his?
419
00:24:01,030 --> 00:24:02,730
Don't worry, he's a fool.
420
00:24:03,190 --> 00:24:04,090
What about Jack?
421
00:24:34,570 --> 00:24:39,190
Do you got shifty eyes?
25961
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