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You suggest in your novel that women are
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all masochists, Mr. Luke.
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Is that your personal experience?
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I present women as I know them to
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be.
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The success of Women Weeping would suggest that
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I'm right.
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But surely at this point in time when
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women are gaining leading positions in so many
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areas...
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That will affect the positions they take up
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in the sex war.
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In that ongoing action, women are still a
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weaker sex who long to be dominated by
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men.
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Is that a rather old-fashioned view?
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A rather old-fashioned species.
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Women have been the weaker sex in the
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beginning of our existence.
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Are you suggesting that a few years of
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voting and unisex have fundamentally changed?
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Well, I don't agree.
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You may wear well-tailored suits and smoke
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cigars, but at heart you're still the same
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eminently crushable creatures you've always been.
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You're a real tiger, sweetie, when you got
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to have a bottle of bourbon inside your
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bra.
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Well, whether we agree with Sam Luke's reactionary
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ideas or not, we all have to agree
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that Women Weeping is a runaway success.
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And who argues the success in New York?
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Who indeed?
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You know, it's a pity Zara isn't here
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to bask in your reflected glory like a
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good little wife.
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Good little wife indeed.
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You know, she wouldn't hear her coming to
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New York.
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A vulgar circus, she considers this.
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Apotheosis of my career.
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Little wife Zara doesn't deserve any glory.
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But I deserve a drink.
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Where is it?
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I wonder.
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Ah, Toots, you're impossibly macho without her.
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Well, I gotta go look after the shop.
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Uh, Joni!
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Come in, come in.
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Come by with those copies for the mayor,
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okay?
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Lovely!
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Sammy, I promise Zara no more.
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What do you want it, sir?
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Where it was before Miss Jansen had it
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removed.
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It's full of goodies, I hope.
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Yeah, you got the worst in them, Mr.
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Luke.
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Yes, you'll like your book, sir.
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Oh, thank you.
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I ain't read it yet, but it sounds
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real good to me.
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Uh, sign here.
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We gotta keep them women in their place,
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eh, sir?
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Keep fighting the good fight.
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Right on, Mr. Luke.
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Have a nice day, now.
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Thanks.
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Well, drink your dry, darling, and the rest
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of British luck to your liver.
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Sammy, you are such a naughty boy!
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Big boy's heart, Clodagh.
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So I shall inform the lovely Zara if
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she ever gets around to ringing me.
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Now, remember, Joni is coming by with the
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presentation copies for you to sign for the
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mayor and his staff.
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And don't forget to write, I love New
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York, huh?
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And have a nice day, of course.
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And have a nice day, of course.
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Bye.
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Here she is.
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Get in there quick, kid, and keep him
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off the booze.
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Oh, you're kidding.
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How?
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Come on, you'll think of something, sweet pants.
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Hello?
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Zara!
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You might have rang me yesterday.
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Oh.
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So how is your mother?
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Well, her timing's always perfect.
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I don't know why you didn't give some
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money to look after her.
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I told you I'd pay.
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I've got money now, lots and lots of
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money.
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All those lean years, as soon as I
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land the jackpot, you abandon me.
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Hmm?
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Well, I'm mostly on television during the day,
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alone, except for the chat show host and
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40 million people.
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Everybody loves me here.
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Even the guerrilla in immigration knew about the
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book.
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It's the friendliest city in the world.
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Look, I've got to go now.
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Joni's here.
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Joni, the colonial secretary, Man Friday.
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She's blonde, petite, and gorgeous.
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You should be here to keep an eye
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on me.
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Yeah, I know you trust me.
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Sometimes I wish you didn't trust me.
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Hello?
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Hello?
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I think your wife's lovely, Mr. Luke.
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Zara.
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Who is that?
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I can't hear you.
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I saw you on television last night.
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I'm dead.
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And have a nice...
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I have to get these back to the
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mayor's office, Mr...
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Was anything wrong?
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Some nut?
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Hello, operator, was that an outside call?
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Pardon me, Mr. Luke?
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I said, was that...
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Never mind.
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All right, sir, have a nice day now.
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If we can get these over to the
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mayor's office today, we could get two or
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three paragraphs tomorrow.
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Child!
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Child!
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What care we for odd paragraphs?
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We are a television celebrity, Joni.
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We are unamused by grubby little journalists.
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Or by cranked telephone calls.
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Now, tell me about yourself.
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I expect you're a lovely American, more than
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average girl, who is searching for a meaningful,
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ongoing relationship, and meanwhile, fantasises rather a lot,
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am I right?
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Oh, gosh, Mr. Luke, you really do understand
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women.
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Call me Sam, or Sammy Dearest, and drink
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up.
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Drink up, my pet.
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Well, after that, I just couldn't get it
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together.
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I mean, that so-and-so really messed
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me up.
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My head was like one of those glass
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balls with a snowstorm going on inside it,
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you know what I mean?
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And every time I thought what a sucker
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I'd been.
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How dumb.
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I mean, how dumb can you get?
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After that, I just wasn't into men.
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Not even when I fantasised.
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Fantasise?
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Fantasise?
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On to his thighs.
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But here's the strange thing.
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Though I hated him, for all the hurt
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he'd caused me, I sort of missed it
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in a way.
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It was like there was an empty space
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where the pain used to be.
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Oh, my God.
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How you see these things.
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It's like you've got x-ray eyes, Sam.
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Well, that's enough about me.
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I'm not very interesting.
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Just sort of normal, I guess.
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Let's talk about you, Sammy.
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Sammy?
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Sam!
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You sexist p- Yeah,
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yeah.
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Who is it?
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You gotta pay for it, Luke.
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You're done on us.
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Hello, who's that?
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Hello?
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God almighty, who the hell was that?
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Sounded like a man imitating a woman.
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The city is full of nutcases.
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Have a nice night.
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Mr. Luke,
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sir.
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Mr. Luke, sir.
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All right, all right, I'm coming.
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Hey, morning, Mr. Luke.
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Got something for your special delivery.
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Marked urges.
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What time is it?
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Uh, just after 11, sir.
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Oh, Lord.
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I've missed something, I'm sure.
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Hey, would you believe it?
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My grandmother saw you on TV last night.
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She's 83, but sharp as a tack.
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Oh, say, open it for me, will you?
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Oh, yeah, sure, Mr. Luke.
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Anyway, she thinks you're number one, sir.
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I'm gonna buy her a copy of your
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book.
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Why bother?
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I'll just have one of these.
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Oh, hey, that's great.
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Hey, could you write something in it?
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You could just sign it, to Grandma Ethel
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from a friend, Sam.
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It'll tickle her to death.
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There's never been an ambition of mine to
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tickle old ladies to death.
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I'll try anything once.
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A copy of your book, Mr. Luke.
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And a letter.
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It's marked personal.
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I don't know.
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Should I put it with the others?
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Keep it.
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Oh, hey, thanks a lot.
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Could you write something in it?
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Are you all right?
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I think so.
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What the hell's going on?
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I wish I knew.
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Who would want to do a thing like
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that to you?
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Just about any unliberated lady in New York,
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I'd say.
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Oh, my God, Mr. Luke, look.
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Have a nice death.
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What do you know?
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But, baby, give this introspective a joke book.
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That's all it was.
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No one got hurt.
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You, my dear Claudia, went on the receiving
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end.
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What about the message?
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Have a nice death.
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And those obscene folks, I tell you, it
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is no joke.
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I do not find it funny.
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I wish you hadn't cleaned up the mess.
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Bob could have taken pictures.
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It would have made a great storey.
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Why, and I hang myself in the lavatory,
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Claudia dear, and Bob can take pictures of
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that, too.
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That's it.
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Of course.
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I'm not serious.
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Don't be silly.
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No.
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I mean, you can never tell what these
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jokers will do.
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But we can protect you with publicity.
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I'm calling a press conference tomorrow.
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We're going to make this work for us.
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You're going over big now, but a storey
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like this, properly handled, everybody will want to
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read Women Weeping.
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I want to go home.
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Dollface, you've got to look at this with
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a cool professional eye.
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Just remember, every time some crazy liberated broad
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attacks you, you're going to collect the royalties
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on another thousand copies of Women Weeping.
282
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:25,660
You're going to make Time, Newsweek, maybe even
283
00:13:25,660 --> 00:13:27,420
60 Minutes, and that's the biggest hype there
284
00:13:27,420 --> 00:13:27,580
is.
285
00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:29,240
We're going through the roof, baby.
286
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:32,820
Claudia, dear, my life is being threatened.
287
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,600
I take that very seriously indeed.
288
00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:35,900
Sure.
289
00:13:36,180 --> 00:13:36,600
Thank you.
290
00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,480
Everybody gets assassinated in this heathen country.
291
00:13:39,580 --> 00:13:40,660
Well, I don't intend being a martyr to
292
00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:41,020
my art.
293
00:13:41,260 --> 00:13:42,700
The circus is concluded.
294
00:13:42,860 --> 00:13:44,740
Clodagh, I'm staying in this hotel only long
295
00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,460
enough for things to quieten down so I
296
00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:47,940
can slip out of the back door and
297
00:13:47,940 --> 00:13:48,640
run now.
298
00:13:49,140 --> 00:13:50,000
Get me London.
299
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:51,760
England.
300
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:55,320
2589299.
301
00:13:56,120 --> 00:13:58,840
We'll hire guards for you, and we'll search
302
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,720
anyone who comes near you, and I will
303
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,620
give you an increased royalty deal on your
304
00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:04,380
next novel.
305
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:07,340
Really?
306
00:14:07,660 --> 00:14:08,000
Yeah.
307
00:14:08,420 --> 00:14:09,960
But you've got to stick with it, kid.
308
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,000
Just a few more days, and Women Weeping
309
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:12,640
will be number one.
310
00:14:12,740 --> 00:14:13,420
I guarantee it.
311
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,080
Now, I must fly.
312
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:14,420
Give me no reply.
313
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:14,940
There must be.
314
00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:15,640
Please give me a ring.
315
00:14:18,060 --> 00:14:18,780
No problem.
316
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,000
Bye, Boobie, and stop worrying.
317
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:22,540
All this is worth a fortune.
318
00:14:22,860 --> 00:14:23,220
Zara!
319
00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:24,300
Give her my love.
320
00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:25,880
Now, I must run.
321
00:14:26,060 --> 00:14:28,940
Zara, look, you've got to come over right
322
00:14:28,940 --> 00:14:29,280
away.
323
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:32,160
I'm getting all sorts of unpleasant threats.
324
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,260
Keep that whimpering, you happy do whatever you
325
00:14:34,260 --> 00:14:34,780
have to.
326
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:36,580
Oh, no problem.
327
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,120
I think I'm beginning to relate to Sam.
328
00:14:39,460 --> 00:14:42,380
Doesn't anybody just do it anymore?
329
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:43,940
Have fun.
330
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:47,700
You don't understand, Zara.
331
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:48,440
I'm being threatened.
332
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:50,940
My life is being threatened, Zara.
333
00:14:56,140 --> 00:14:56,960
I see.
334
00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:00,780
You think it's a joke, do you?
335
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,420
Well, in that case, have a nice day.
336
00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:11,140
Sometimes I have this vision that women are
337
00:15:11,140 --> 00:15:12,400
an alien species.
338
00:15:12,660 --> 00:15:14,480
They're probably from some black planet on the
339
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,860
outer edges of the galactic system.
340
00:15:15,980 --> 00:15:19,180
Centuries ago, they sprayed the Earth with amnesia
341
00:15:19,180 --> 00:15:22,180
gas and infiltrated our planet, and we woke
342
00:15:22,180 --> 00:15:24,700
up believing they had always been here.
343
00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:28,100
Now we're witnessing their final victory as they
344
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:30,140
take over our professions, our clothes, our potency,
345
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:32,580
our sexual positions, and most of our worst
346
00:15:32,580 --> 00:15:32,940
habits.
347
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,820
When they're alone, they communicate with one another
348
00:15:35,820 --> 00:15:38,740
in a disgusting secret language which sounds like
349
00:15:38,740 --> 00:15:43,240
Japanese mixed with the cries of small birds.
350
00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:45,680
Is it too late to confront and announce
351
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:45,840
them?
352
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:46,460
Perhaps it is.
353
00:15:47,060 --> 00:15:51,900
And yet, despised man must make one final,
354
00:15:52,700 --> 00:15:54,380
if hopeless, effort.
355
00:15:56,940 --> 00:15:58,860
Well, Sam, what can I say after that?
356
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:01,700
Except that Stag, the magazine for real men,
357
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:02,920
is right behind you.
358
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,280
Thanks for a great piece, Sam.
359
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,300
Oh, that was so neat, Sam.
360
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:10,700
I just loved it.
361
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,140
Fill me up, my pet.
362
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,300
So, we wrap up.
363
00:16:15,460 --> 00:16:16,380
Thanks again, Sam.
364
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:18,440
Our readers are gonna love it, and I
365
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:19,980
guess it won't do Weeping Women any harm
366
00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:20,220
either.
367
00:16:20,820 --> 00:16:21,680
Women weeping.
368
00:16:22,260 --> 00:16:22,500
Whatever.
369
00:16:24,780 --> 00:16:26,000
Thanks a million, Bob.
370
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,980
You've just gotta be the greatest interviewer in
371
00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:29,420
the business.
372
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:31,160
Well, I think you're cute too, honey.
373
00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:33,920
Let me get you that drink.
374
00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:40,220
Or maybe...
375
00:16:40,220 --> 00:16:41,760
Or maybe what?
376
00:16:44,390 --> 00:16:46,990
Well, I had this boyfriend once who was
377
00:16:46,990 --> 00:16:49,110
terrific at pressure points and massage.
378
00:16:49,790 --> 00:16:52,190
What really does release all your tension, Sammy?
379
00:16:52,290 --> 00:16:54,590
I could, you know, massage your neck or
380
00:16:54,590 --> 00:16:54,930
something?
381
00:16:56,690 --> 00:16:58,130
Well, that is if you like.
382
00:16:59,210 --> 00:17:01,190
I mean, it is better for you than
383
00:17:01,190 --> 00:17:02,770
a lot of toxic alcohol.
384
00:17:06,589 --> 00:17:08,730
A little light massage?
385
00:17:13,530 --> 00:17:14,290
Why not?
386
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:18,790
And a drink.
387
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:31,560
Sometimes I feel like my whole body is
388
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,600
just one terrific erogenous zone, you know?
389
00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:36,260
I know, dear.
390
00:17:36,380 --> 00:17:36,640
I know.
391
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:37,340
Stop talking.
392
00:17:37,580 --> 00:17:38,540
Oh, Sam.
393
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,360
We really are relating so well.
394
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:45,140
Oh, no.
395
00:17:45,140 --> 00:17:46,540
That'll be Clodagh screaming.
396
00:17:50,020 --> 00:17:50,620
Yes?
397
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,220
Mr. Sam Luke.
398
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:57,240
Mr. Luke is busy right now.
399
00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:57,820
Can I help?
400
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:58,860
Uh-uh.
401
00:17:59,140 --> 00:18:00,180
This is personal.
402
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:01,120
Okay.
403
00:18:03,860 --> 00:18:05,180
Is it a man or a woman?
404
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,060
Couldn't really tell.
405
00:18:08,820 --> 00:18:09,760
You take it.
406
00:18:13,990 --> 00:18:15,430
Mr. Luke is real busy.
407
00:18:15,770 --> 00:18:16,710
I'll take your message.
408
00:18:17,290 --> 00:18:21,710
The message for Mr. Luke is have a
409
00:18:21,710 --> 00:18:22,190
nice death.
410
00:18:25,340 --> 00:18:27,140
He just said have a nice death.
411
00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,600
Okay, Clodagh, tell her I'm going back to
412
00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:32,620
London straight away.
413
00:18:43,060 --> 00:18:44,600
Miss Jansen, please, right away.
414
00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:46,920
Well, cut in.
415
00:18:48,180 --> 00:18:49,000
Hello, Clodagh?
416
00:18:49,140 --> 00:18:50,220
He's just had another call.
417
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:53,120
No, I took it.
418
00:18:54,940 --> 00:18:55,360
Terrifying.
419
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:56,320
Look, he's packing.
420
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,060
Straight back to a little old country where
421
00:18:58,060 --> 00:18:59,640
a man may still express a civilised opinion
422
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:01,780
without being picketed or threatened with assassination.
423
00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:03,000
Zahra was right.
424
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,040
I should never have come here.
425
00:19:04,220 --> 00:19:04,960
Never, never.
426
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:06,140
I'll tell him.
427
00:19:07,140 --> 00:19:07,620
Okay.
428
00:19:09,660 --> 00:19:10,140
Sam?
429
00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:13,560
Little old lovely bankrupt Britain, here I come.
430
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,300
Sam, Clodagh called Zahra.
431
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,060
She'll be here tomorrow.
432
00:19:18,460 --> 00:19:18,840
Zahra?
433
00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:22,280
She's coming after all.
434
00:19:25,300 --> 00:19:27,480
Oh, thank God.
435
00:20:04,650 --> 00:20:05,350
Mr. Luke, sir.
436
00:20:08,860 --> 00:20:09,740
What do you want?
437
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,500
Your people sent over your fan mail, Mr.
438
00:20:12,620 --> 00:20:12,760
Luke.
439
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,040
God, you look awful, Mr. Luke.
440
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:19,340
You okay?
441
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:20,880
Don't ask.
442
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:22,960
Just don't ask.
443
00:20:24,820 --> 00:20:26,340
I started to read your book.
444
00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:29,160
I just love it where she asks him
445
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:29,300
to...
446
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:29,760
Thank you very much.
447
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:34,960
God, you really do look sick, Mr. Luke.
448
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:36,660
Should I call a doctor?
449
00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:37,940
No.
450
00:20:41,170 --> 00:20:43,330
Well, have a nice day anyway.
451
00:20:44,830 --> 00:20:45,490
Day's over.
452
00:20:45,590 --> 00:20:45,970
It's evening.
453
00:20:46,970 --> 00:20:47,490
Yeah, sure.
454
00:20:47,650 --> 00:20:48,510
Thanks a lot, Mr. Luke.
455
00:20:49,010 --> 00:20:49,630
Have a nice day now.
456
00:20:50,110 --> 00:20:50,750
It's evening?
457
00:20:52,910 --> 00:20:54,170
Do you understand?
458
00:20:55,390 --> 00:20:57,690
Do you agree that it's evening here?
459
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:57,830
Yeah.
460
00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:02,230
Well, yeah.
461
00:21:03,210 --> 00:21:03,730
Sure.
462
00:21:05,090 --> 00:21:05,610
Evening.
463
00:21:09,510 --> 00:21:10,870
You take care of yourself, huh?
464
00:21:50,950 --> 00:21:53,790
My sign is Sagittarius and I'm sure that
465
00:21:53,790 --> 00:21:57,390
you are a Scorpio and very dominant like
466
00:21:57,390 --> 00:21:58,650
Richard in your book.
467
00:21:59,270 --> 00:22:01,490
I think he is the most truly male
468
00:22:01,490 --> 00:22:04,730
character since Red Butler.
469
00:22:06,230 --> 00:22:08,090
I'm sure that if we could meet, we
470
00:22:08,090 --> 00:22:10,290
would find that we related to one another
471
00:22:10,290 --> 00:22:11,070
really well.
472
00:22:11,190 --> 00:22:12,510
It's the best thread I've had all day.
473
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:49,460
Sammy?
474
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,360
Sammy darling?
475
00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:51,780
Zara?
476
00:22:56,420 --> 00:22:57,180
Where's Zara?
477
00:22:58,860 --> 00:23:04,560
I need Zara, not you, Liz Jansen.
478
00:23:05,180 --> 00:23:08,080
Zara can't help you now, you drunken, sexist
479
00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:08,720
pig.
480
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:18,670
What the hell is
481
00:23:18,670 --> 00:23:19,090
happening?
482
00:23:19,750 --> 00:23:23,410
You're about to have a horrible accident.
483
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:24,510
You?
484
00:23:25,650 --> 00:23:27,310
Nice dance, Sammy.
485
00:23:36,900 --> 00:23:38,840
Look, I just want to tell you how
486
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:39,520
sorry I am.
487
00:23:41,420 --> 00:23:43,200
I keep remembering the last time I brought
488
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,320
him his letters when he got so upset.
489
00:23:46,620 --> 00:23:49,360
I mean, my God, he looked awful, but
490
00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,000
I never thought he'd do a thing like
491
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:51,300
that.
492
00:23:54,060 --> 00:23:55,320
I should have stopped.
493
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:57,060
I should have made an excuse to come
494
00:23:57,060 --> 00:23:58,620
back in and clear up the glasses or
495
00:23:58,620 --> 00:23:58,860
something.
496
00:23:58,860 --> 00:23:59,940
I might have talked him out of it.
497
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,240
The girl in switchboard two, she said he
498
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:03,960
sounded desperate.
499
00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:06,380
Yes, thank you.
500
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:08,240
That's very kind of you.
501
00:24:19,350 --> 00:24:22,290
Oh, I can't believe we're free at last,
502
00:24:22,290 --> 00:24:22,850
my darling.
503
00:24:23,090 --> 00:24:24,290
After all these years.
504
00:24:24,470 --> 00:24:25,790
Well, we are, my love.
505
00:24:26,550 --> 00:24:29,350
Free and very, very rich.
506
00:24:30,090 --> 00:24:33,450
It's lovely, but I must try to stop
507
00:24:33,450 --> 00:24:36,270
thinking about poor Sammy's awful accident.
508
00:24:36,270 --> 00:24:40,630
Oh, well, let me help you, angel.
32919
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