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So, let's all check our diaries.
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Fifteen, strong remorning of genes.
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Thirty-first, the fate, Ruth will run the
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rummage store.
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As always.
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Seventh of August, bring and buy sale.
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And fourteenth, open day for my garden.
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If I can get it presentable by then,
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oh, I'm sure you will.
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How much do you think we should charge?
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Do you think people will pay a pound
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this year?
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No.
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Oh, I'll do it.
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I'll do it.
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I'll do it.
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I'll do it.
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I'll do it.
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I'll do it.
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I'll do it.
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I'll do it.
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I'll do it.
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I'll do it.
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I'll do it.
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I'll do it.
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All right.
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All right.
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Norma, you're a friend of teaching.
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Thank you very much.
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First to me, all right.
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Right.
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Second guard, ladies.
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Any other business?
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I can't think of anything.
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Right, it's next Wednesday at gins.
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Isn't it obliging?
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Is eleven o'clock alright for you, Ruth?
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Yes.
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Fifteen.
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And now, let's all sample some of Ruth's
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delicious scones.
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Oh, golly, Norma, that's naughty of you.
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They're very old.
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Monkey gym.
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monkey gym at the zoo, monkey gym in
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the jungle, monkey gym goes to sea.
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what the hell else can I do?
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I'm starting to repeat myself.
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would you believe it?
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two boys from the local school bought themselves
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a metal detector and they have just unearthed
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a Roman pot containing coins valued at 70
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,000 pounds.
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one more monkey gym and that'll be it.
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I'm written out now.
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I've had it.
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come on.
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come on.
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be a bit helpful for a change.
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I mean monkey gym monkey gym monkey gym
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in Timbuktu.
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it's not bad.
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it's not half bad.
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monkey gym Timbuktu.
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your sweet sister has finished her committee meeting.
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Norma's been chairing meetings since she was 10.
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boss boss boss.
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Chris the open day for the garden will
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be the 14th.
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well miss Norma I can't answer what it
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looked like and you know why.
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I was promised help but I don't get
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any.
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yes well I'm sure if we all put
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our shoulders to the wheel.
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my shoulders to the wheel?
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somebody else is sitting on the backside.
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why don't you write a novel?
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I can't write a novel.
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I can't write a novel.
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I'm trying to write a novel and I
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can't.
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for heaven's sake I'm sick and tired of
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hearing you blab about monkey gym.
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anyone would think you were Charles Dickens.
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it's only 10,000 words for ten-year
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old morons.
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sorry have I come at a bad moment?
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I've never known you come at a good
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one.
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Bob.
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Norma rescues us.
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you know that.
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look I don't expect you to love each
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other but you mean be just plain bloody
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rude.
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well I'm going to be plain bloody rude.
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your husband's a layabout and a scrounger.
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Norma please.
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you've come back from Rhodesia without a penny
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and I say you can have this lodge
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rent-free if you'll help crisp with the
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garden and you'll lie around from morning to
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night without so much as pulling up a
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thistle.
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I've written 30 applications for jobs in the
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last month.
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is it my fault if there's a recession?
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and while you were sunning yourself in your
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safari paradise I was nursing daddy for five
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years.
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because you didn't want to go into a
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home and I wouldn't let you.
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well you didn't do too badly out of
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it Norma.
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you ended up with everything and Emily got
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nothing.
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and I earned it.
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every penny.
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if you rattle our bargain you can clear
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off.
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go back to ze bobby or whatever it's
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called.
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I could let this lodge for 50 pounds
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a week.
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I promised daddy before he died that I
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would never sell this place.
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look after the garden that he made with
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his own hands.
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and keep it just the same.
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she's right Bob.
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it's not working is it?
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not for any of us.
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nag nag nag.
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don't you ever stop.
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you're nothing but a parasite.
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you live off the state.
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I sweat my guts.
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I sweat my guts.
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I live among you nymphs.
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I haven't bought myself so much as a
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pair of tights or a piece of cake
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in months.
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and now you're gonna spend a hundred pounds.
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a hundred pounds on another of your stupid
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ideas.
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here we go.
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another one of your artistic tantrums.
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look if you can't make a living out
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of a monkey gym why don't you get
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yourself a job as a typist or a
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barmaid.
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at least I'll get some peace.
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I see you'd like to be rid of
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me.
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is that it?
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you want me out of the way?
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quite a ding dong.
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I didn't knock because it is after all
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my property.
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and I switched that off because I know
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for a fact that Emily bought it.
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and I doubt if you've bought yourself anything
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more than a can of beer since your
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first wife died.
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what do you want?
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I want to know one thing.
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where is Emily?
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she's away.
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I know she's away.
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no one's seen her for the past three
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weeks.
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where is she?
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she had this new monkey gym book to
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finish.
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deadline end of September.
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she said the only way she was gonna
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do it was if she got away by
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herself somewhere.
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may I have her address and telephone number?
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she didn't want anyone to know it.
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not her agent.
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not her publisher.
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not her illustrator.
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and especially not you.
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if she's gone away to write why has
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she left her typewriter?
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bought a new one.
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electric.
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has she gone off with someone else?
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I wouldn't blame her.
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what about all those schemes of yours that
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never made any money?
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such daring schemes.
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and underneath such an undaring man.
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you're in the way again.
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damn you.
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she's been away now over a month.
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well you can imagine what I think.
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his first wife died in a shooting accident
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on safari in Africa.
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after he'd insured her life for 20,000
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pounds.
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what did he do with it?
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lost the lot.
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running a bar in Bulawayo.
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disgraceful.
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surely you were legal right to make him
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tell you where she is.
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Jean.
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I'm a magistrate.
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she knows the law dear.
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she's an adult.
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he needn't tell me a thing.
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Norma have you thought of going to the
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police?
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of course.
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yesterday.
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they just poo-pooed me.
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said God knows how many people go missing
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every year.
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wives run off, husbands run off, children leave
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home.
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so what can you do?
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I don't know.
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hello.
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hello Bob darling.
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who's that?
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who do you think it is?
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it's me Emily.
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Emily?
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you can't be Emily.
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why not Bob?
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because...
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because what?
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wife's still away then?
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yes till she finishes a new book.
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she should get her storeys on TV.
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they say those kids programmes make a fortune.
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well we live in hope.
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hello Jack.
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you you?
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hello mr.
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Bowles.
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here I am.
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your worst customer.
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only come in once a year to collect
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for the rummage sales.
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for anything you don't want.
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because what we don't sell goes to overseas
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relief.
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so even an old pair of shoes can
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end up in Ethiopia.
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we'll be back to collection a few days
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time.
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could I have some?
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some?
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two or three?
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it's my wife you see.
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she had a lot of old clothes she
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didn't know what to do with.
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so she said would I give them to
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your rummage sale?
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you're an idiot.
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it's inconceivable
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she'd have left all this behind.
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practically her whole wardrobe.
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my god.
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what?
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it's her spectacles.
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she'd never have gone away to write without
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these.
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shh.
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I whatever's
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the matter Bob?
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I I uh do
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you know what Norman's found out?
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he's insured Emily's life for 50,000 pounds.
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it was a brilliant idea.
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and it worked.
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Bob was as right as a sheep.
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I thought he was going to pass out.
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and I think he's having a nervous breakdown.
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that's the plan.
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to make him have a breakdown.
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Norman I'm sorry but doesn't this prove the
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worst?
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00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,260
yes I'm afraid you're right.
289
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,099
I mean if Emily had gone away to
290
00:17:03,099 --> 00:17:05,780
write she could have come back couldn't she?
291
00:17:06,380 --> 00:17:07,839
and if he'd seen her in the village
292
00:17:07,839 --> 00:17:09,280
he simply would have called out.
293
00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:11,640
he looked as if he'd seen a ghost.
294
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,140
which if you believe in ghosts is all
295
00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:16,440
poor Emily can be.
296
00:17:18,180 --> 00:17:18,960
I'm sorry.
297
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,040
it's our committee meeting isn't it?
298
00:17:22,619 --> 00:17:23,300
Ruth dear.
299
00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:24,940
would you take the chair?
300
00:17:26,740 --> 00:17:27,740
Norman are you all right?
301
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:31,560
would you be all right if your sister
302
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:32,300
had been murdered?
303
00:17:32,740 --> 00:17:33,240
murdered?
304
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:33,500
murder?
305
00:19:21,590 --> 00:19:23,570
what the hell's going on?
306
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:29,940
this is mr.
307
00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:30,340
Goff.
308
00:19:31,100 --> 00:19:32,120
he's a private detective.
309
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,480
he's had you under surveillance for the past
310
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:35,100
two weeks.
311
00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:37,460
and this lady is an actress.
312
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:40,580
she impersonated Emily in the village and on
313
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:41,120
the telephone.
314
00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:44,140
you thought you were going mad didn't you
315
00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:44,400
Bob?
316
00:19:44,780 --> 00:19:46,480
you had to come here and make sure
317
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:47,900
Emily was really dead.
318
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:49,140
there.
319
00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:50,840
where you buried her.
320
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:51,900
dead?
321
00:19:52,180 --> 00:19:53,480
has that ground been dug before?
322
00:19:53,820 --> 00:19:54,640
certainly has sir.
323
00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:55,900
and lately too.
324
00:19:56,980 --> 00:19:58,680
why on earth would I want to kill
325
00:19:58,680 --> 00:19:58,940
Emily?
326
00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:01,080
you insured her life for 50,000 pounds.
327
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:02,320
explain that.
328
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:04,060
you can't can you?
329
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,540
it was exactly the same storey with your
330
00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:07,140
first wife.
331
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,040
that was an accident.
332
00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:09,040
the coroner's...
333
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,660
we won't need an inquest this time.
334
00:20:10,780 --> 00:20:12,180
you're under arrest for the murder of Emily
335
00:20:12,180 --> 00:20:12,600
Shand.
336
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:15,040
a private detective can't make an arrest.
337
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,220
I'm arresting you.
338
00:20:17,060 --> 00:20:20,820
any citizen is entitled to make an arrest.
339
00:20:31,100 --> 00:20:31,940
sorry sir.
340
00:20:31,940 --> 00:20:33,940
citizens arrest is legal.
341
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,000
and one is entitled to use reasonable force.
342
00:20:51,730 --> 00:20:53,610
it's going to be so dreadful.
343
00:20:54,470 --> 00:20:55,670
for all of you.
344
00:20:56,610 --> 00:20:58,070
you'll all have to come as witnesses.
345
00:20:59,210 --> 00:21:00,030
make statements.
346
00:21:00,990 --> 00:21:02,830
Norma don't worry about us.
347
00:21:03,630 --> 00:21:05,390
you've been thinking of others for too long.
348
00:21:06,310 --> 00:21:08,050
just look after yourself for a change.
349
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:15,320
he's insane isn't he?
350
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:17,700
he's got to be insane.
351
00:21:18,060 --> 00:21:19,120
of course he is dear.
352
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:23,700
I'm only sorry they won't hang you.
353
00:21:25,060 --> 00:21:25,300
hello.
354
00:21:25,580 --> 00:21:26,180
what's this then?
355
00:21:42,590 --> 00:21:43,450
poor Emily.
356
00:21:44,870 --> 00:21:46,690
she's been in the earth now.
357
00:21:47,270 --> 00:21:48,310
six weeks.
358
00:21:48,610 --> 00:21:50,430
try not to think about it dear.
359
00:21:51,070 --> 00:21:52,610
no I can't bear it.
360
00:21:53,210 --> 00:21:53,910
take me home.
361
00:21:58,810 --> 00:22:00,170
it's not possible.
362
00:22:14,060 --> 00:22:15,240
what a surprise.
363
00:22:15,420 --> 00:22:16,100
what's the matter?
364
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:17,160
what are you doing here?
365
00:22:18,740 --> 00:22:19,840
quite a crowd.
366
00:22:20,060 --> 00:22:21,220
hello Norma.
367
00:22:23,060 --> 00:22:23,620
Bob!
368
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:25,400
I've done it.
369
00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:25,940
I've done it.
370
00:22:25,940 --> 00:22:27,760
ten thousand words and it's all over.
371
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,460
monkey Jim in Timbuktu.
372
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:30,140
oh!
373
00:22:36,060 --> 00:22:37,280
have you missed me?
374
00:22:38,060 --> 00:22:39,020
I tried not to.
375
00:22:40,820 --> 00:22:41,260
hello.
376
00:22:41,620 --> 00:22:42,160
have we met?
377
00:22:42,700 --> 00:22:43,740
I'm Emily Norma's sister.
378
00:22:43,740 --> 00:22:44,640
where have you been?
379
00:22:45,380 --> 00:22:46,240
didn't you tell her?
380
00:22:47,060 --> 00:22:48,900
I've been staying in a lovely little seaside
381
00:22:48,900 --> 00:22:50,880
hotel where they bought me my meals in
382
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:51,360
my room.
383
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:52,220
never bothered me.
384
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:53,940
I finished the book.
385
00:22:54,660 --> 00:22:56,060
and you know Bob it's not half bad.
386
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:57,360
it's not half bad.
387
00:22:58,100 --> 00:22:59,860
doesn't seem as if you'll need me anymore.
388
00:23:05,360 --> 00:23:07,580
would you mind telling me why were you
389
00:23:07,580 --> 00:23:08,040
digging here?
390
00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:12,440
I've been reading up on the local history
391
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:12,920
mr.
392
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:13,260
Goff.
393
00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:16,480
apparently there was a Roman settlement somewhere near
394
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:16,700
here.
395
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,280
I bought myself a metal detector to pass
396
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:21,220
the time while my wife was away and
397
00:23:21,220 --> 00:23:23,420
I got a very strong bleep.
398
00:23:23,420 --> 00:23:24,140
just here.
399
00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:24,780
do you want a hand mr.
400
00:23:24,780 --> 00:23:24,960
Criss?
401
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,000
I've been digging for buried treasure mr.
402
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:31,380
Goff.
403
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,160
we'll send you our account in due course.
404
00:23:43,570 --> 00:23:46,310
well you're going to need your friends now.
405
00:23:47,290 --> 00:23:49,390
I only hope they stick by you.
406
00:23:53,430 --> 00:23:53,890
oh!
407
00:23:55,970 --> 00:23:56,430
Sybil!
408
00:24:01,770 --> 00:24:03,330
we'll walk you home Norma.
409
00:24:04,890 --> 00:24:06,810
you look like you could use a drink.
410
00:24:07,330 --> 00:24:08,330
or several.
411
00:24:25,740 --> 00:24:27,560
poor old Norma.
412
00:24:28,140 --> 00:24:30,140
you looked after daddy for five years in
413
00:24:30,140 --> 00:24:32,160
order to get him to change his will.
414
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:35,460
leave everything to you and nothing to Emily.
415
00:24:36,020 --> 00:24:36,940
and it worked!
416
00:24:37,340 --> 00:24:39,780
but now it has all gone horribly wrong
417
00:24:39,780 --> 00:24:41,340
because we are going to sue you for
418
00:24:41,340 --> 00:24:45,040
slander defamation of character wrongful arrest and common
419
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:45,540
assault.
420
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:47,120
Emily you can't.
421
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,320
and you being a magistrate the publicity is
422
00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:51,880
going to be very nasty indeed.
423
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:54,380
Emily my dear you know I've always loved
424
00:24:54,380 --> 00:24:54,640
you.
425
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:55,940
now's your chance to show it.
426
00:24:58,340 --> 00:25:00,600
you planned this whole thing?
427
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,480
yes but who's gonna believe that?
428
00:25:04,060 --> 00:25:06,060
of course we might be prepared to settle
429
00:25:06,060 --> 00:25:06,920
out of court.
430
00:25:07,020 --> 00:25:08,220
my fair share Norma.
431
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:09,440
no more no less.
432
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:11,900
you know it's only right and proper dear.
433
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:15,700
ha ha ha ha ha ha
27397
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