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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:33,900 A gossip 2 00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:35,720 columnist is an odd sort of a bird. 3 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:39,240 He inhabits the land of expensive restaurants and 4 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,340 nightclubs, and there he feeds upon titbits that 5 00:00:42,340 --> 00:00:43,820 are dropped to him by a host of 6 00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:45,480 amateur leg-men and leg-women. 7 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:49,540 He pays them small sums for juicy morsels. 8 00:00:50,420 --> 00:00:53,160 The juiciest morsels of all are those that 9 00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:56,400 concern either the international set, the very rich, 10 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,220 dukes and duchesses, or, best of all, royalty. 11 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,360 All this is perfectly harmless, so long as 12 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:04,560 the gossip remains benign and good-humoured. 13 00:01:05,180 --> 00:01:07,480 But when it becomes malicious, as it so 14 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,940 often does, then it can literally ruin somebody's 15 00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:11,320 life. 16 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:14,300 Let the storey you are going to see 17 00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:17,020 now serve as a warning to all malicious 18 00:01:17,020 --> 00:01:18,400 gossip columnists. 19 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,200 It's really cold. 20 00:01:49,220 --> 00:01:49,920 No letters? 21 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:51,060 No, no letters. 22 00:01:52,020 --> 00:01:53,220 Looks as if your old man's going to 23 00:01:53,220 --> 00:01:53,560 cough up. 24 00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:56,340 Well, he sent us a few hundred last 25 00:01:56,340 --> 00:01:56,620 month. 26 00:01:57,300 --> 00:01:58,340 Well, it's living in Toronto. 27 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:00,560 Does he have any idea of the cost 28 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,560 of living, especially in London, especially with a 29 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:04,180 degree in English? 30 00:02:04,860 --> 00:02:06,440 What has that got to do with it? 31 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:07,979 Well, it makes it harder to get a 32 00:02:07,979 --> 00:02:08,259 job. 33 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:09,300 Everyone knows that. 34 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:11,580 You must have your head in the clouds 35 00:02:11,580 --> 00:02:12,880 if you spent three years doing an English 36 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:13,140 degree. 37 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,180 You're a bit of a traitor, George. 38 00:02:15,580 --> 00:02:16,100 A traitor? 39 00:02:16,980 --> 00:02:19,200 Remember, you grabbing all the people at parties, 40 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,300 making them listen to your theory that Shakespeare 41 00:02:21,300 --> 00:02:22,060 was a nun. 42 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,440 You could empty a room in ten minutes, 43 00:02:24,740 --> 00:02:26,820 but you cared about all that. 44 00:02:27,020 --> 00:02:29,960 Yes, well, we're not students any more. 45 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,060 Romantic poets won't earn us any bread. 46 00:02:33,060 --> 00:02:35,700 Well, they lived in pigsties, and look what 47 00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:36,240 they accomplished. 48 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:38,660 Most of them died young. 49 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,220 Anyway, it was Garretts. 50 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,500 It was always Garretts for some reason. 51 00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,260 You'll just have to write to your father 52 00:02:48,260 --> 00:02:48,960 for some more money. 53 00:02:50,220 --> 00:02:51,440 I've taken enough of him. 54 00:02:52,780 --> 00:02:53,560 So have you. 55 00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:56,140 No more sponging, George. 56 00:02:57,820 --> 00:02:59,060 Well, what else can we do? 57 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,220 I'll just have to start making the rounds 58 00:03:01,220 --> 00:03:01,520 again. 59 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:03,120 Newspapers, publishers. 60 00:03:03,580 --> 00:03:04,600 I thought you tried them all. 61 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:05,680 I'll try again. 62 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:09,260 Fleet Street is not looking for geniuses this 63 00:03:09,260 --> 00:03:09,560 year. 64 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,700 I set my sights lower. 65 00:03:11,980 --> 00:03:12,460 T-boy. 66 00:03:12,900 --> 00:03:13,220 Anything. 67 00:03:13,420 --> 00:03:14,800 Are you going to show them how brilliantly 68 00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:17,000 you write with both hands carrying a tea 69 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:17,220 tray? 70 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,540 Just shut up and make the coffee, will 71 00:03:19,540 --> 00:03:19,660 you? 72 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:21,720 The kettle's boiling, you nut. 73 00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:25,960 A person can't live without money. 74 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:27,500 Your old man ought to know that. 75 00:03:29,780 --> 00:03:33,080 Oh, this guy's got a nerve. 76 00:03:33,220 --> 00:03:33,400 Who? 77 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:35,640 Lionel Brewster, the columnist. 78 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:37,040 What's he saying now? 79 00:03:37,340 --> 00:03:38,920 Same sort of stuff he's always saying. 80 00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:41,540 Same sort of scandal, always about the rich. 81 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:42,900 Here, listen to this. 82 00:03:43,180 --> 00:03:43,400 Yeah? 83 00:03:43,820 --> 00:03:44,240 Oh, thanks. 84 00:03:45,140 --> 00:03:46,580 A scene at the Bongo Club. 85 00:03:46,580 --> 00:03:47,540 Banker William S. 86 00:03:47,540 --> 00:03:50,080 Wilbur together with beauteous starlet Teresa Burton. 87 00:03:50,780 --> 00:03:51,640 Three nights running. 88 00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,620 Mrs. Wilbur at home with a headache, which 89 00:03:53,620 --> 00:03:55,220 is something anyone's wife would have if hubby 90 00:03:55,220 --> 00:03:57,180 was out squiring Mrs. Burton of an evening. 91 00:03:57,660 --> 00:03:58,580 Poor old Wilbur. 92 00:03:59,700 --> 00:04:00,820 I think it's a shame. 93 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:02,800 That sort of thing could cause a divorce. 94 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,000 How can Brewster get away with stuff like 95 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:06,180 that? 96 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:07,160 Oh, they always do. 97 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:08,880 They're all scared of him. 98 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:11,040 You know what I'd do if I was 99 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:11,500 William S. 100 00:04:11,660 --> 00:04:11,960 Wilbur? 101 00:04:12,180 --> 00:04:12,420 What? 102 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,500 I would punch Lionel Brewster on the nose. 103 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:18,279 It's the only thing these guys understand. 104 00:04:19,339 --> 00:04:20,700 Mr. Wilbur couldn't do that. 105 00:04:20,820 --> 00:04:21,260 Why not? 106 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:23,980 Because he's an important man. 107 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,740 Mr. Wilbur is a dignified and respectable man. 108 00:04:27,740 --> 00:04:28,660 He's a prominent banker. 109 00:04:28,900 --> 00:04:31,980 He couldn't possibly... 110 00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:35,860 Is it? 111 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:37,640 Brilliant. 112 00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:40,320 What's wrong? 113 00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:42,720 What's the matter with you? 114 00:04:43,740 --> 00:04:44,900 I have an idea. 115 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,880 Listen very carefully, because I have an idea 116 00:04:47,880 --> 00:04:49,680 which will make us both very rich. 117 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,140 We're broke, correct? 118 00:04:53,140 --> 00:04:54,180 We are. 119 00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:55,480 On this William S. 120 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,420 Wilbur, would you say that he's angry with 121 00:04:57,420 --> 00:04:58,380 Lionel Brewster this morning? 122 00:04:58,780 --> 00:04:59,140 Angry? 123 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:00,660 He'll be madder than hell. 124 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,280 You think he'd like to see Lionel Brewster 125 00:05:02,280 --> 00:05:04,680 receive a good hard punch on the nose? 126 00:05:04,980 --> 00:05:06,160 Damn right he would. 127 00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:07,880 Now tell me, isn't it possible that Mr. 128 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:09,420 Wilbur would be prepared to part with a 129 00:05:09,420 --> 00:05:11,580 sum of money to someone who would undertake 130 00:05:11,580 --> 00:05:14,560 to perform this nose-punching operation efficiently and 131 00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:15,520 discreetly on his behalf? 132 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:17,260 I get you. 133 00:05:18,020 --> 00:05:19,400 What a marvellous idea. 134 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,020 That's just a little part of the idea. 135 00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:23,280 If you read Brewster's column, you'll see there's 136 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:24,640 another person who's being insulted today. 137 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:26,440 Mrs. Ella Gimple. 138 00:05:26,980 --> 00:05:28,820 She's a socialite, maybe a million dollars in 139 00:05:28,820 --> 00:05:29,120 the bank. 140 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:30,680 What does Brewster say about her? 141 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:32,760 Oh, he hints at how she makes a 142 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,080 stack of money out of her own friends 143 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,160 by throwing roulette parties and acting as the 144 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:36,460 bank. 145 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:38,600 Well, that fixes Gimple. 146 00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:39,740 Paul Gimple. 147 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:41,060 Paul Wilbur. 148 00:05:41,220 --> 00:05:41,620 Right. 149 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:43,460 Two different people. 150 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,460 Both of them loathing Lionel Brewster's guts today. 151 00:05:46,460 --> 00:05:48,380 Both wanting desperately to go out and punch 152 00:05:48,380 --> 00:05:49,800 him on the nose, and neither of them 153 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:50,640 daring to do it. 154 00:05:51,180 --> 00:05:51,900 You understand that? 155 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:52,440 Absolutely. 156 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:53,600 Right. 157 00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:56,120 Now, this is the plan. 158 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,760 We've set up an organisation, and we call 159 00:05:58,760 --> 00:05:59,560 it... 160 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,360 What do we call it? 161 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:01,880 Um... 162 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,140 We'll call it, uh... 163 00:06:04,140 --> 00:06:04,740 Let me see. 164 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:06,560 We'll call it... 165 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:08,680 Vengeance Is Mine, Incorporated. 166 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:09,220 How about that? 167 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:11,240 Well, it's a peculiar name. 168 00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:12,500 It's biblical. 169 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:13,040 It's good. 170 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:13,580 I like it. 171 00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:15,800 Vengeance Is Mine, Incorporated. 172 00:06:15,900 --> 00:06:16,740 It sounds fine. 173 00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:19,140 Listen, we'll have lots of cards printed. 174 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:20,940 We'll send them out to all our clients, 175 00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:23,140 reminding them they've been assaulted and mortified in 176 00:06:23,140 --> 00:06:25,180 public, and offering to punish the offender for 177 00:06:25,180 --> 00:06:25,460 a fee. 178 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:27,780 We'll buy all the newspapers, read all the 179 00:06:27,780 --> 00:06:29,840 columnists, and every day we'll send out a 180 00:06:29,840 --> 00:06:31,240 dozen or more of our cards to prospective 181 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:31,520 clients. 182 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:32,460 Oh, this is great! 183 00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:33,820 We'll be rich. 184 00:06:34,340 --> 00:06:36,380 We'll be tremendously wealthy in no time at 185 00:06:36,380 --> 00:06:36,640 all. 186 00:06:38,460 --> 00:06:39,820 Now, we'll, uh... 187 00:06:39,820 --> 00:06:41,040 We need to offer them a choice of 188 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:41,360 methods. 189 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,340 We need to think up a number of 190 00:06:44,340 --> 00:06:45,760 different punishments. 191 00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:48,430 Now, number one will be, uh... 192 00:06:49,540 --> 00:06:52,500 Uh, punch on the nose once hard. 193 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:55,720 What shall we charge for that? 194 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:57,540 Um... 195 00:06:57,540 --> 00:06:58,560 Two hundred and fifty pounds. 196 00:06:59,260 --> 00:07:01,460 Two hundred and fifty pounds. 197 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:03,580 Right, what's the next one? 198 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:05,340 Black is I. 199 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:08,740 Black... 200 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:10,500 Is... 201 00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:11,060 I. 202 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,580 Two hundred and fifty pounds. 203 00:07:14,180 --> 00:07:14,600 Oh, no. 204 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:16,180 No, no, no, no, no. 205 00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,940 No, it requires more skill and timing to 206 00:07:18,940 --> 00:07:20,240 black an I, I say, than to punch 207 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:20,580 a nose. 208 00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,340 No, no, this is a skilled job. 209 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,340 No, that should be three hundred and fifty. 210 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:26,240 Okay. 211 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,080 Three hundred and fifty. 212 00:07:29,700 --> 00:07:30,660 What's the next one? 213 00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:32,040 Well, both together, of course. 214 00:07:32,380 --> 00:07:33,100 The old one too. 215 00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:34,600 Both together? 216 00:07:34,740 --> 00:07:35,100 Absolutely. 217 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,020 Punch his nose, black his I, six hundred 218 00:07:37,020 --> 00:07:37,320 pounds. 219 00:07:37,620 --> 00:07:38,240 No, no, no, no, no. 220 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,500 There should be a reduction for taking the 221 00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:39,680 two. 222 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,800 We'll, um, we'll make it five hundred. 223 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:43,380 Well, that's dirt cheap. 224 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:44,300 They'll snap it up. 225 00:07:44,580 --> 00:07:45,060 What's next? 226 00:07:45,180 --> 00:07:45,680 Number four. 227 00:07:50,540 --> 00:07:51,680 Put a rattlesnake... 228 00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:56,640 ...with venom extracted on the floor of his 229 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,520 car by the pedals when he parks it. 230 00:07:58,720 --> 00:07:59,840 You want to scare him to death? 231 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:00,700 Sure. 232 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:02,220 But where are we going to get a 233 00:08:02,220 --> 00:08:03,060 rattlesnake, anyway? 234 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:03,900 Oh, buy it. 235 00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:05,060 You can always buy them. 236 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:07,380 How much shall we charge for that one? 237 00:08:08,940 --> 00:08:10,320 Seven hundred and fifty pounds. 238 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:13,700 Right. 239 00:08:14,420 --> 00:08:15,720 Now, we need one more. 240 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:18,860 Here it is. 241 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,860 Kidnap him in a car, shave his head 242 00:08:21,860 --> 00:08:24,020 bald, paint a slogan on his back of 243 00:08:24,020 --> 00:08:26,920 their choice, and then dump him stark naked 244 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:28,340 in the middle of Piccadilly in the rush 245 00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:28,600 hour. 246 00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:30,020 We can't do that. 247 00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:31,780 Write it down and charge a thousand pounds. 248 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:33,860 You jolly well do it if Wilbur offered 249 00:08:33,860 --> 00:08:34,480 you that much. 250 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,220 Yeah, I suppose I would. 251 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:39,640 Hey, that's enough now. 252 00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:40,900 That gives him a wide choice. 253 00:08:41,260 --> 00:08:41,440 Right. 254 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:42,720 Now, where do we get the cards printed? 255 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:44,540 Bob Singer. 256 00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:46,200 He runs the stationers. 257 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:47,120 They do printing. 258 00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:48,780 And he owes us a favour. 259 00:08:51,460 --> 00:08:52,760 He's done it very nicely. 260 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,360 Hey, Wilbur here, Wilbur. 261 00:08:55,780 --> 00:08:56,700 Hey, here he is. 262 00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:58,300 Wilbur, will you miss? 263 00:08:58,780 --> 00:08:59,420 Here, get this down. 264 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:02,980 Six Grosvenor Walk, West 1. 265 00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:04,020 Got it? 266 00:09:04,240 --> 00:09:04,420 Yeah. 267 00:09:10,340 --> 00:09:39,470 PHONE RINGS Oh, 268 00:09:39,610 --> 00:09:40,230 put it here. 269 00:09:41,710 --> 00:09:44,710 And, Sukie, I'd adore to see your necklace. 270 00:09:45,910 --> 00:09:47,730 My necklace, Mrs Wilbur? 271 00:09:47,990 --> 00:09:49,530 The one my husband bought you on your 272 00:09:49,530 --> 00:09:50,870 afternoon off in Barn Street. 273 00:09:51,490 --> 00:09:52,290 At 4.30? 274 00:09:53,150 --> 00:09:55,310 No, madam, there must be some mistake. 275 00:09:55,770 --> 00:09:57,250 Of course there is, darling. 276 00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:59,650 My husband is always making these mistakes. 277 00:10:00,270 --> 00:10:02,190 But he doesn't mean any harm. 278 00:10:02,550 --> 00:10:05,290 He's the most well-intentioned person and very, 279 00:10:05,390 --> 00:10:06,110 very kind. 280 00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:08,530 The necklace, Sukie. 281 00:10:09,930 --> 00:10:11,190 Yes, Mrs Wilbur. 282 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:40,740 PHONE RINGS Oh. 283 00:10:43,460 --> 00:10:45,800 You didn't think it was genuine? 284 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:47,600 Not genuine. 285 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:49,360 Oh, not a hope, darling. 286 00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:51,560 He will have his little joke. 287 00:10:52,420 --> 00:10:53,620 Would you like me to speak to him 288 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,620 about it, or... 289 00:10:55,620 --> 00:10:57,320 shall we forget all about it? 290 00:10:57,720 --> 00:10:59,320 Yes, please, we forget about it. 291 00:10:59,420 --> 00:11:00,260 There's a good girl. 292 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,360 I knew you'd be sensible. 293 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,140 Just leave the tea, Sukie. 294 00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,080 I'll pour for myself. 295 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:05,960 Yes, Mrs Wilbur. 296 00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:40,670 MUSIC PLAYS Well? 297 00:11:51,380 --> 00:11:52,620 Well, I delivered them both. 298 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:54,540 I pushed them to the letterbox, rang the 299 00:11:54,540 --> 00:11:55,460 bell and beat it up the street. 300 00:11:56,180 --> 00:11:57,340 Wilbur's got a huge house. 301 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:58,680 How did you get on? 302 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:00,240 Well, I went to see a guy I 303 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:01,500 know who works in the sports section of 304 00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:02,300 the Daily Bugle. 305 00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:03,520 He told me all about Brewster. 306 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,120 His movements are more or less routine. 307 00:12:05,220 --> 00:12:05,920 He operates at night. 308 00:12:06,340 --> 00:12:08,020 But wherever he goes earlier in the evening, 309 00:12:08,220 --> 00:12:09,160 he always... 310 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:10,900 and this is the important point... 311 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:13,060 he always finishes up at the Astor Club. 312 00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:15,860 He gets there around about midnight, stays till 313 00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:18,100 2 or 2.30. That's where his leg 314 00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:18,980 men bring him all the info. 315 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:20,700 Well, that's all we need to know. 316 00:12:20,860 --> 00:12:21,500 Well, it's easy. 317 00:12:21,620 --> 00:12:22,460 Money for old rope. 318 00:12:43,490 --> 00:12:44,310 There are two. 319 00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:46,810 Hey, open them up, quickly. 320 00:12:51,710 --> 00:12:53,890 Your methods seem curiously unorthodox. 321 00:12:54,270 --> 00:12:56,070 At the same time, anything you do to 322 00:12:56,070 --> 00:12:57,510 that scoundrel has my approval. 323 00:12:57,990 --> 00:12:59,130 So go ahead. 324 00:12:59,670 --> 00:13:00,750 Start with item one. 325 00:13:01,110 --> 00:13:02,410 And if you're successful, I'd be only too 326 00:13:02,410 --> 00:13:03,390 glad to give you an order to work 327 00:13:03,390 --> 00:13:04,410 right on through the list. 328 00:13:04,770 --> 00:13:05,730 I'll pay cash on delivery. 329 00:13:06,090 --> 00:13:07,590 I'll probably be there on the night. 330 00:13:08,070 --> 00:13:08,710 William S. 331 00:13:08,850 --> 00:13:09,210 Wilbur! 332 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:10,090 Hey, hey, hey, listen to this. 333 00:13:10,310 --> 00:13:11,710 A good hard sock on the nose for 334 00:13:11,710 --> 00:13:13,710 Brewster is worth 250 of mine or anyone 335 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:14,250 else's money. 336 00:13:14,550 --> 00:13:16,810 I should like to watch your sincerely, Ella 337 00:13:16,810 --> 00:13:17,050 H. 338 00:13:17,150 --> 00:13:17,470 Gimple. 339 00:13:17,470 --> 00:13:18,210 We'll be rich! 340 00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:19,250 We'll be rich! 341 00:13:19,350 --> 00:13:21,570 We'll be rich! 342 00:13:22,050 --> 00:13:22,870 We'll be rich! 343 00:13:23,130 --> 00:13:24,290 When shall we do it? 344 00:13:24,510 --> 00:13:24,950 Tonight? 345 00:13:26,830 --> 00:13:27,830 Hey, hey, listen. 346 00:13:27,950 --> 00:13:28,890 I've only just realised. 347 00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:30,590 This is even better than we thought. 348 00:13:31,430 --> 00:13:32,790 Two birds with one stone. 349 00:13:32,790 --> 00:13:34,030 Two customers with one punch. 350 00:13:34,030 --> 00:13:34,330 How? 351 00:13:35,050 --> 00:13:35,650 Don't you see? 352 00:13:35,650 --> 00:13:37,110 We only have to hit Brewster once. 353 00:13:37,530 --> 00:13:38,990 And each of the clients, Wilbur and Gimple, 354 00:13:38,990 --> 00:13:40,770 will think it's done specially for him or 355 00:13:40,770 --> 00:13:40,950 her. 356 00:13:41,350 --> 00:13:42,410 This is brilliant! 357 00:13:42,870 --> 00:13:44,090 No, it's common sense. 358 00:13:45,250 --> 00:13:47,310 Listen, the same principle will apply to all 359 00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:48,130 the other treatments, okay? 360 00:13:53,350 --> 00:13:54,310 What are you waiting for? 361 00:13:54,310 --> 00:13:55,090 Go on, answer it. 362 00:14:06,350 --> 00:14:07,630 Telegram come for you. 363 00:14:13,590 --> 00:14:14,070 Thank you. 364 00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:15,470 Well, I never write letters. 365 00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:17,610 I always phone or send a telegram. 366 00:14:17,970 --> 00:14:19,630 And since you didn't put a telephone number... 367 00:14:21,170 --> 00:14:21,810 Thank you. 368 00:14:24,350 --> 00:14:27,530 Did your husband show you our card, Mrs. 369 00:14:27,530 --> 00:14:27,790 Wilbur? 370 00:14:28,270 --> 00:14:30,590 Well, not exactly, no, but... 371 00:14:30,590 --> 00:14:32,370 Well, I happened to catch a teeny glimpse 372 00:14:32,370 --> 00:14:33,410 of it by accident. 373 00:14:33,830 --> 00:14:34,190 Coffee? 374 00:14:34,690 --> 00:14:35,250 Oh, thank you. 375 00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:35,670 Yes. 376 00:14:36,370 --> 00:14:37,130 Yes, please. 377 00:14:37,890 --> 00:14:38,710 Milk and sugar? 378 00:14:39,210 --> 00:14:39,870 Yes, please. 379 00:14:41,770 --> 00:14:42,990 Well, you help yourself. 380 00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:43,930 Thank you. 381 00:14:46,090 --> 00:14:49,190 Well, the point is, my husband is very, 382 00:14:49,310 --> 00:14:51,650 very impetuous and headstrong. 383 00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:54,290 And, well, there's no sense in my saying 384 00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:56,170 anything to him once he's made up his 385 00:14:56,170 --> 00:14:56,530 mind. 386 00:14:56,530 --> 00:14:58,370 Do you disapprove of what we're doing? 387 00:14:58,710 --> 00:14:59,210 Oh, no. 388 00:14:59,710 --> 00:15:00,990 No, don't misunderstand me. 389 00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:03,230 I don't disapprove, not in the slightest. 390 00:15:03,230 --> 00:15:06,950 I'm only concerned to protect my husband from 391 00:15:06,950 --> 00:15:07,710 the consequences. 392 00:15:08,570 --> 00:15:10,010 Well, if there should be any consequences. 393 00:15:11,750 --> 00:15:13,970 Well, if it somehow came out that... 394 00:15:13,970 --> 00:15:16,230 Well, that he'd hired you boys to... 395 00:15:16,870 --> 00:15:18,570 To do whatever it is you're going to 396 00:15:18,570 --> 00:15:20,190 do to that dreadful man Brewster. 397 00:15:20,950 --> 00:15:22,470 Well, you can imagine how bad that would 398 00:15:22,470 --> 00:15:23,430 be for his reputation. 399 00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:26,290 So I wanted to satisfy myself that... 400 00:15:26,770 --> 00:15:28,470 Well, that you'd be taking precautions. 401 00:15:29,410 --> 00:15:29,890 Precautions? 402 00:15:30,770 --> 00:15:31,730 What kind of precautions? 403 00:15:32,610 --> 00:15:35,230 Well, in case you were recognised or someone 404 00:15:35,230 --> 00:15:37,410 took down your description and you were traced. 405 00:15:37,730 --> 00:15:39,130 We've thought of that, Mrs. Wilbur. 406 00:15:39,830 --> 00:15:40,910 George is going to be disguised. 407 00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:44,110 Oh, disguised. 408 00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:44,690 Yes. 409 00:15:44,970 --> 00:15:46,710 Yes, that's just the kind of thing. 410 00:15:47,510 --> 00:15:49,890 And are you good at disguises? 411 00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,610 Well, not especially, but, you know, we thought 412 00:15:52,610 --> 00:15:55,170 maybe dark glasses, a big hat pulled low 413 00:15:55,170 --> 00:15:55,850 over his face. 414 00:15:56,110 --> 00:15:56,610 Oh, no, no. 415 00:15:57,450 --> 00:15:57,870 No. 416 00:15:59,630 --> 00:16:01,250 Well, maybe I can help you. 417 00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:02,750 How is that, Mrs. Wilbur? 418 00:16:03,210 --> 00:16:04,670 Well, I... 419 00:16:04,670 --> 00:16:07,330 Well, I used to be an actress before 420 00:16:07,330 --> 00:16:08,530 I married Mr. Wilbur. 421 00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:13,490 And, well, I did my own makeup most 422 00:16:13,490 --> 00:16:14,050 of the time. 423 00:16:14,230 --> 00:16:14,530 Really? 424 00:16:14,970 --> 00:16:18,170 Yes, so you just wait here and make 425 00:16:18,170 --> 00:16:18,890 yourselves at home. 426 00:16:19,110 --> 00:16:20,510 I'll see what I can find. 427 00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:47,240 Some getaway car. 428 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,400 I'll bet they wouldn't even let it into 429 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:50,020 a junkyard. 430 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:52,100 What happens if someone chases us? 431 00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:53,600 Oh, we let them crash into the back 432 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:53,860 of us. 433 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,200 That's our secret weapon. 434 00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:59,380 You guarantee this is a fast car? 435 00:16:59,380 --> 00:17:01,020 Oh, it should do 110 in a push. 436 00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:02,560 And who's going to push? 437 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:07,500 Oh, that's 20 pounds deposit, returnable, on top 438 00:17:07,500 --> 00:17:08,740 of the one day hire charge. 439 00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:14,060 There's a charge of five pence a mile. 440 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,119 We take that out of it upon you. 441 00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:18,140 Perhaps you charge a commission on the petrol, 442 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:18,440 too. 443 00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:19,900 No, no, we'll fill you up and I'll 444 00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:20,500 use your price. 445 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,660 That's all right, it's cheaper down the road. 446 00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:28,880 What is it, bugs in the upholstery? 447 00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:31,680 Maybe this whole plan's not so good after 448 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:31,960 all. 449 00:17:32,700 --> 00:17:33,880 Maybe we ought to reconsider it. 450 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,420 Oh, no, not the Hamlet Act again. 451 00:17:37,020 --> 00:17:38,720 Whose idea was it in the first place? 452 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:39,520 Mine. 453 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:40,820 Now I'm having doubts. 454 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:43,720 If something goes wrong... 455 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:45,560 Look, even Shakespeare was a poacher. 456 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:48,160 Come on, we're wasting time. 457 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,160 There's a post office just around the corner. 458 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:51,920 A post office? 459 00:17:52,540 --> 00:17:54,520 We need to send telegrams to each of 460 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:55,060 our clients. 461 00:17:59,380 --> 00:18:01,840 Hope to see you outside Astor Club, 2 462 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,920 ...30 a.m. Regards, be I of mine. 463 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:19,640 You'd better put your hat on. 464 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,560 And your whiskers, to get used to them. 465 00:18:23,380 --> 00:18:23,720 Right. 466 00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:26,860 How hard shall I hit him? 467 00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:28,880 Hit him as hard as you can. 468 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:30,400 And on the nose. 469 00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,400 It must be on the nose, because that's 470 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,220 a part of the contract. 471 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:41,740 I hope I recognise him. 472 00:18:41,740 --> 00:18:43,940 You can't always tell from a photograph. 473 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:45,380 Will you stop worrying? 474 00:18:46,540 --> 00:18:47,480 I've thought of that. 475 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:48,720 Here. 476 00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:50,360 Take this. 477 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:51,700 Give it to the doorman. 478 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:53,320 Tell him to see it gets to Brewster 479 00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:53,720 quickly. 480 00:18:54,420 --> 00:18:55,880 Act as though you're in a frightful hurry 481 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:56,640 and scared to death. 482 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:57,680 Well, that's easy. 483 00:18:59,820 --> 00:19:01,320 It's 101 Brewster come out. 484 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:02,860 No columnist could resist that message. 485 00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:03,620 Why? 486 00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:04,140 What does it say? 487 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,860 It says, I'm official in Soviet consulate. 488 00:19:08,300 --> 00:19:09,920 Come to the door very quickly, please. 489 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,120 I have something to tell, but come quickly, 490 00:19:12,220 --> 00:19:13,160 as I am in great danger. 491 00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:15,980 Good luck. 492 00:19:18,180 --> 00:19:19,540 Hey, remember. 493 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:21,540 Soviet official. 494 00:19:46,380 --> 00:19:51,890 Can you take this note to Mr. Lionel 495 00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:52,410 Brewster? 496 00:19:54,010 --> 00:19:54,690 Please. 497 00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:56,290 It's very urgent. 498 00:20:03,830 --> 00:20:05,090 Does Brewster know you? 499 00:20:05,410 --> 00:20:06,290 Are you a friend of his? 500 00:20:06,570 --> 00:20:06,750 No. 501 00:20:06,850 --> 00:20:07,570 He's expecting you? 502 00:20:08,190 --> 00:20:08,410 No. 503 00:20:08,510 --> 00:20:09,250 Then move along. 504 00:20:09,430 --> 00:20:10,350 No, no, no, please. 505 00:20:10,570 --> 00:20:11,830 It's a matter of life and death. 506 00:20:15,970 --> 00:20:18,290 Look, mate, I've got troubles enough without you 507 00:20:18,290 --> 00:20:19,050 pestering me. 508 00:20:19,890 --> 00:20:20,750 I'm being murdered. 509 00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:21,790 Murdered? 510 00:20:22,230 --> 00:20:23,610 By a new pair of boots. 511 00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:27,150 I can't move without them slicing off another 512 00:20:27,150 --> 00:20:27,770 piece of skin. 513 00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:29,590 By the end of tonight, I'll be toeless. 514 00:20:29,590 --> 00:20:31,970 So don't bother me. 515 00:21:08,570 --> 00:21:09,910 What's in his note, then? 516 00:21:10,010 --> 00:21:12,010 Just take it in to him. 517 00:21:13,710 --> 00:21:15,770 I promise you, it's urgent. 518 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:37,940 What's the matter with you? 519 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:39,920 Nothing. 520 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:41,160 You all right? 521 00:21:41,940 --> 00:21:42,200 Yeah. 522 00:21:51,500 --> 00:21:52,780 He's coming down now. 523 00:22:01,060 --> 00:22:01,980 Well, that's him, sir. 524 00:22:03,140 --> 00:22:03,640 Yes? 525 00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:05,040 What did you want? 526 00:22:05,620 --> 00:22:06,120 Please. 527 00:22:07,060 --> 00:22:08,240 I mustn't be overheard. 528 00:22:09,980 --> 00:22:11,000 Well, come on now. 529 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:12,780 What is it you want? 530 00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:26,120 Well done! 531 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:26,780 Wonderful! 532 00:22:27,260 --> 00:22:28,360 I saw the whole thing! 533 00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:29,540 I'm Mr Wilbur! 534 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:31,260 You did a fine job! 535 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:48,240 Well, we did it! 536 00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:49,100 It worked! 537 00:22:49,700 --> 00:22:50,940 Do you see how hard I hit him? 538 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:52,280 Yeah, well, you hit him hard. 539 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:54,600 Do you see him lift? 540 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,360 Do you see him lift right up off 541 00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:56,780 the ground? 542 00:22:56,780 --> 00:22:58,500 Yeah, I saw it all, George. 543 00:22:58,640 --> 00:22:59,540 I saw it clearly. 544 00:23:00,380 --> 00:23:01,400 It was a marvellous punch. 545 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:02,540 That's the one! 546 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:03,100 Grab him! 547 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:05,960 Herbert, they've... 548 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:06,600 they've gone... 549 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:07,280 You've got to put... 550 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:13,460 Come on, I've got you, I've got you. 551 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:13,980 Leave me alone! 552 00:23:19,140 --> 00:23:20,420 You awful man! 553 00:23:20,420 --> 00:23:21,720 Get these idiots off me! 554 00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:23,460 For heaven's sake! 555 00:23:28,380 --> 00:23:29,580 Oh, God! 556 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:31,240 Help! 557 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:32,460 Help me! 558 00:23:32,580 --> 00:23:33,120 Help me! 559 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,200 Vengeance, indeed! 560 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:36,980 I'll give them vengeance! 561 00:23:40,340 --> 00:23:41,160 Stop it! 562 00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:49,520 When I'm done with those two, they'll wish 563 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:50,560 they've never been born! 564 00:23:51,180 --> 00:23:52,160 Drive faster! 565 00:23:52,700 --> 00:23:53,720 Drive like mad! 566 00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:55,080 We'll be rich! 567 00:23:55,340 --> 00:23:56,760 We'll be rich! 568 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:57,380 We'll be rich! 569 00:23:57,580 --> 00:23:59,820 We'll have filmstaff lolling round our stomach-fulls 570 00:23:59,820 --> 00:24:01,300 and head-waiters bowing to us! 571 00:24:06,740 --> 00:24:16,720 You can drive on now. 572 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:23,840 What do you mean, you can get our 573 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:24,740 name in Brewster's collar? 574 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:27,220 George, did you see Wilbur's face when he 575 00:24:27,220 --> 00:24:27,820 ran after you? 576 00:24:28,940 --> 00:24:31,020 He looked exactly like you in your disguise. 577 00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:34,980 I did my own make-up, most of 578 00:24:34,980 --> 00:24:35,420 the time. 579 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:10,040 Ha ha ha! 37349

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