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I don't
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know about you, but I myself am an
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absolute dreams of glory addict.
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Sometimes I cause chaos at the Olympics by
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high jumping 30 feet, or I stagger the
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whole musical world with my great symphonies.
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I have literally hundreds of these lovely little
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glory dreams to choose from.
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The best time to use them is in
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bed at night, when reality is suspended, because
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then, if you get a good one, you
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go drifting off to sleep in a state
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of supreme ecstasy.
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Mr. Clements?
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Yes?
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They told me I'd find you here.
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Botterball.
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I'm sorry, but...
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William Botterball.
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B as in Brooklyn, O Oliver, T Tommy,
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I Idaho, B Brooklyn, O Oliver, L as
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in love.
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Botterball.
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Mr. Botterball, of course, do forgive me, I
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was miles away.
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Please, don't apologise, I'm easily forgettable.
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No, no, it's the light in here.
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Why they keep it so dark at lunchtime,
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I shall never know.
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I couldn't see you.
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Well, sit down, let me get you a
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drink.
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Oh, no, thank you, I never drink at
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lunchtime, never.
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No, I just came to give you my
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decision.
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Oh, good.
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Good, you've, um, you've made a decision.
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Yes, about the offer which you made to
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me last week.
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That was subject to negotiation, Mr. Botterball.
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I'm not going to negotiate, I've decided to
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accept your offer.
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You have?
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Yes.
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To sell Botterball & Company.
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And the subsidiary company, the one in America?
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Especially the American company.
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Wonderful!
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Let me congratulate you, it's the right decision.
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Well, you're a rich man now, this calls
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for a celebration.
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No, thank you, I'd better be getting along.
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I've instructed my lawyer...
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I insist that you have a drink, a
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two large martinis.
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No, please, Mr. Clemens, I'd rather not.
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I insist.
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No, no, I hardly drink at all, and
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never in the middle of the day.
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Oh, come on.
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No, no, no, no, no, no.
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I envy you, Mr. Clemens.
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Me?
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Why?
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I'll tell you why.
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I'm listening.
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Success.
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Success?
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You, sir, appear to me, sir, to have
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made a success of your whole life, sir.
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No, no, no, I'm a very ordinary person.
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Oh, don't tell me what it is to
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be ordinary.
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I am the most ordinary person you will
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ever meet.
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I am much more ordinary than you are.
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I am very, very, very ordinary.
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Two more martinis, please.
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I'd like to ask you just one quest.
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Ask away.
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Tell me honestly now.
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Is it possible for someone to reach my
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age without having experienced even one single small
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success in anything he has done?
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Oh, everyone has a little success from time
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to time.
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Me?
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I?
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Barber, nothing.
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No, no.
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I have not had success in anything at
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all.
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Never.
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That's not true.
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Even today, you've just sold your business to
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my clients for 200,000 pounds.
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I call that one hell of a success.
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Oh, not my business, no, my uncle's business.
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May he rest in peace.
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See, nine years ago, when he was dying,
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they traced me to Kansas.
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It was his only living relation.
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That business was worth four times what it
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is today.
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And under my management, it lost three quarters
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of its value.
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If I didn't sell it to you now,
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next year I'd be dead broke.
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Broke?
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No, I am the most unsuccessful man in
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the world.
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Well, I believe you've got this all out
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of perspective.
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I mean, thousands of things count as success.
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Things like catching a good fish or fixing
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the motor of your car.
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Wait a minute, could I have that, though?
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Or pleasing someone with a present or winning
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a small bet or a good round of
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golf.
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My handicap is 49.
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And what about women, Mr. Potipoff?
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Women?
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Yes, women.
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Every man under the sun, even the most
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wretched down-and-out tramp, has at some
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time or other had some silly little success
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with women.
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Never.
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Now, don't you like them?
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Like them?
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Oh, dear me.
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Oh, yes, I like them.
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I like women.
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It's just that you see, well, I don't
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know how to say this, but I just
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don't seem to get along with them.
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I mean, I can't get the striking distance
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of them.
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Oh, but there was this girl in high
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school in Kansas City.
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Well, it's been very nice to do business
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with you, Mr. Potipoff, but I'm afraid I've
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got to rush.
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Another little matter I have to sort out
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for my master's.
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But don't you worry, Mr. Potipoff, you're a
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rich man now.
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The girls will soon come running.
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I prefer music.
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Do you realise that every name of every
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great composer begins with a B?
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Bach, Beethoven, Brahms, Goodbye, Mr. Potipoff.
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Berlioz, Bartok, Breton.
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A huge audience applauding.
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Waiting for him to conduct his own first
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symphony.
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He bows.
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The great conductor and composer, a living legend,
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Bada Ball, the natural successor of Bach, Beethoven,
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Brahms.
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He taps his baton.
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The orchestra is ready.
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Bada Ball's first symphony.
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I can't
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hear you, sir.
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The music is rather loud.
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I said, put the tray on the table,
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Mason.
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Thank you very much.
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I must say that was fun.
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It really was.
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I'll do it.
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Now, it's crazy.
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It's not crazy if you do it in
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private.
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I mean, who's to know?
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Mason?
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To heck with Mason.
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He probably does some pretty crazy things himself.
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I wonder.
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I wonder.
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Some guys setting up in competition at the
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festival hall.
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Yes, it
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did seem to go very well, didn't it?
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What should you call me?
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Well, I prefer Maestro.
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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Yes, the success has been amazing and very
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gratifying.
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My colleague, Leonard Bernstein, another great composer whose
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name begins with a B.
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Bernstein was telling me the other day that
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he simply has to include a Bada Ball
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symphony in every programme.
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It's because it's just what the people want
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these days.
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Yes, yes, yes, music is my life.
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It just seems to make me very happy.
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No, no, my father didn't want me to
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be a musician, but I wish he were
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alive today to hear people call me Maestro.
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Well, that's very kind of you.
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Thank you.
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Well, we're all labourers in the business.
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Morning.
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Um, would you tell me if you, uh,
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sell things conductors use?
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Batons?
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Certainly, sir.
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Would you like to come this way?
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What did, sir, have in mind?
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Something simple for the youth orchestra to follow?
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Oh, no, I want the real thing.
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Give me something Leonard Bernstein might use.
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Leonard Bernstein?
220
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All right.
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How about this one, Oh, yes, yes.
222
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Yes, that'll do, thank you.
223
00:12:13,190 --> 00:12:15,450
Is there anything else, We stock a full
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range of musical instruments, sheet music.
225
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How about that piano?
226
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Yes, sir.
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Uh, this gentleman is interested in purchasing a
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concert grand.
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Then he's come to the right place.
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This particular instrument has a lovely tone.
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Good, that's nice, I'll take it.
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How soon can you have it delivered?
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Tapes, I want some tapes.
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Tapes?
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Yes.
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I want the tapes of all of Chopin's
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etudes, waltzes, and nocturnes.
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All?
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Just one moment, sir.
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This gentleman will serve you now.
241
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Thank you.
242
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:10,960
Thank you.
243
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I love Chopin.
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I think he's my favourite.
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Yes.
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I like the nocturnes the best.
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Oh, yes, yes, the nocturnes.
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They'll be ready in a minute, sir.
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Oh, good.
250
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Darling, could I just have your name and
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address, please?
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Badebol.
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B as in Brooklyn, O Oliver, T Tommy,
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I Idaho, B Brooklyn, O Oliver, L as
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in love.
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Badebol.
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You're American?
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Yes.
259
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:44,780
Oh, that's a very nice name.
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Mine's terrible.
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Rachuk.
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Rachuk?
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Mm, my father's Polish.
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00:13:51,620 --> 00:13:52,980
How do you spell that?
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W as in Wyoming, R as in Z
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A-S-Z-C-Y-Z-K.
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Yes, I believe it's quite common in Poland.
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Are you over here on holiday?
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No, I live here.
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Oh, thank you.
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00:14:08,300 --> 00:14:09,980
Well, I must say I envy you all
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those tapes.
273
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I'm building up my Chopin collection one record
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at a time.
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Well, perhaps you could, well, I was wondering
276
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if someday you'd like to come along and
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listen to these tapes.
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How nice of you.
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Do you really mean it?
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Oh, yes.
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Well, I'd love it.
282
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:33,580
It would be nice if you could come.
283
00:14:34,260 --> 00:14:35,340
When could you come?
284
00:14:36,740 --> 00:14:38,080
Well, I could come tomorrow.
285
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,240
Tomorrow would be lovely.
286
00:14:40,520 --> 00:14:41,580
That's fine.
287
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:42,940
I'll give you my card.
288
00:14:43,940 --> 00:14:45,520
What time shall I come tomorrow?
289
00:14:45,660 --> 00:14:46,120
Oh, anytime.
290
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:46,980
Anytime at all.
291
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:48,060
Three o'clock?
292
00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:49,700
Yes.
293
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,520
Yes, three o'clock.
294
00:14:52,220 --> 00:14:52,700
Lovely.
295
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:54,840
Oh, I'll be there.
296
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:56,500
Thank you.
297
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:57,980
Good day.
298
00:14:58,980 --> 00:14:59,440
Good day.
299
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:08,160
Mason.
300
00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:09,560
Yes, sir.
301
00:15:10,020 --> 00:15:12,040
Mason, I'm expecting a young lady to call
302
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:12,920
tomorrow afternoon.
303
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:14,020
A what, sir?
304
00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:14,900
A young lady, Mason.
305
00:15:16,020 --> 00:15:16,800
Very good, sir.
306
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:18,740
She'll be here at three o'clock.
307
00:15:19,060 --> 00:15:20,700
Her name is almost unpronounceable.
308
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,200
It's full of C's and Z's.
309
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,000
Miss Rajek.
310
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:23,840
Miss Rajek.
311
00:15:24,380 --> 00:15:24,580
Yes.
312
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,260
Don't bother to announce her.
313
00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:27,620
Just show her in the concert room.
314
00:15:27,620 --> 00:15:28,800
I'll be waiting there for her.
315
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,280
I want to surprise her.
316
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:31,000
Very good, sir.
317
00:15:32,940 --> 00:15:34,520
Oh, Mason, do we have any wine in
318
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:34,920
the house?
319
00:15:35,620 --> 00:15:36,240
Wine, sir?
320
00:15:36,420 --> 00:15:37,120
Wine, Mason.
321
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:38,020
No, sir.
322
00:15:38,380 --> 00:15:39,720
We haven't had any wine in this house
323
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,220
these 15 or 16 years, sir.
324
00:15:41,220 --> 00:15:41,580
Yes, sir.
325
00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:42,720
Ever since your uncle expressed...
326
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:43,060
I know.
327
00:15:43,060 --> 00:15:43,700
I know, Mason.
328
00:15:43,700 --> 00:15:43,980
I know.
329
00:15:43,980 --> 00:15:45,440
But will you get some, please?
330
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:46,820
I'm asking the young lady for dinner.
331
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:47,880
Very good, sir.
332
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,340
And what shall it be?
333
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:50,440
Claret, Mason.
334
00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:51,400
The best you can get.
335
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:52,060
Get a case.
336
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:53,700
Tell them to deliver it once.
337
00:16:06,540 --> 00:16:07,920
Goodness, a concert hall.
338
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:09,400
Hello.
339
00:16:10,420 --> 00:16:11,880
I'm so glad you could come.
340
00:16:12,140 --> 00:16:14,360
Oh, Mr. Butterful, how exciting.
341
00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:16,400
Do you like it?
342
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:17,500
Oh, yes.
343
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,480
You have a concert grand.
344
00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:20,540
May I look?
345
00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:21,240
Oh, please.
346
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,100
It's all right, Mason.
347
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:23,860
You can go now.
348
00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:32,980
Do you give concerts here often?
349
00:16:32,980 --> 00:16:34,100
As often as I like.
350
00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:36,100
You see, I feel that in order to
351
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:39,540
appreciate a great composer, you have to listen
352
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,500
to every single note and imagine that you
353
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:42,560
composed it yourself.
354
00:16:43,620 --> 00:16:45,920
Do you mean you invite famous musicians here
355
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,600
and they give recitals just for you?
356
00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:48,640
No, not exactly.
357
00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:50,280
No, I see.
358
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,520
You give recitals here yourself.
359
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:54,020
You're a pianist.
360
00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:54,760
I knew it.
361
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,180
I knew it.
362
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:59,480
I knew you'd understand, Miss, uh, Miss...
363
00:16:59,480 --> 00:16:59,760
Irene.
364
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:02,400
William.
365
00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:04,859
William Butterful.
366
00:17:05,980 --> 00:17:07,700
Yes, that has a musical sound.
367
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,140
Do you think so?
368
00:17:09,540 --> 00:17:11,220
Do you really think so?
369
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:12,839
Yes, definitely.
370
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:17,619
Well, the truth is, Irene, that I...
371
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:19,800
Go on.
372
00:17:20,780 --> 00:17:21,940
You'll laugh at me.
373
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:22,859
No, I won't.
374
00:17:22,859 --> 00:17:23,300
I promise.
375
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:24,400
You'll think I'm crazy.
376
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,000
Tell me.
377
00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:32,420
Here, this place, this concert hall is where
378
00:17:32,420 --> 00:17:33,240
I am happiest.
379
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:35,380
Here, I can...
380
00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:38,640
I can truly be myself or rather whoever
381
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:39,700
it is that I want to be.
382
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,800
I don't quite understand.
383
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:44,940
Did you ever think how wonderful it would
384
00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:46,700
be to compose a great piece of music?
385
00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:48,280
Oh, yes.
386
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:51,760
Or perhaps you've imagined yourself a great pianist.
387
00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:53,360
Oh, yes.
388
00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:56,380
Here, all your dreams come true.
389
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,720
Imagine if you composed this yourself.
390
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:10,000
Imagine if you were playing it yourself.
391
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:10,460
Watch.
392
00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:11,220
Watch.
393
00:18:20,510 --> 00:18:24,970
You think I'm ridiculous.
394
00:18:26,030 --> 00:18:26,730
No, I don't.
395
00:18:26,990 --> 00:18:27,670
Why do you laugh?
396
00:18:28,270 --> 00:18:29,630
I was thinking what fun.
397
00:18:30,270 --> 00:18:31,110
Then try it.
398
00:18:31,850 --> 00:18:32,810
Please try it.
399
00:18:32,810 --> 00:18:33,290
Stand up.
400
00:18:33,390 --> 00:18:33,810
Come to the piano, please.
401
00:18:33,810 --> 00:18:34,230
No, I don't.
402
00:18:34,710 --> 00:18:36,090
Please try it.
403
00:18:36,430 --> 00:18:37,070
Try it.
404
00:18:37,070 --> 00:18:38,430
Play like...
405
00:18:38,430 --> 00:18:39,910
Play like Schnabel.
406
00:18:40,430 --> 00:18:42,090
Play like Horowitz.
407
00:18:42,790 --> 00:18:44,130
Play like...
408
00:18:44,130 --> 00:18:45,970
Play like Irene Ratik.
409
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:02,480
Bravo!
410
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:03,860
Bravo!
411
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,140
Stand up and bow, please.
412
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:07,140
Stand up.
413
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:07,940
Bow.
414
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:09,020
Please.
415
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,500
I have a wonderful idea.
416
00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:20,980
We play a piano concerto together.
417
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:22,280
You play the piano.
418
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:23,000
I'll conduct.
419
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:24,780
It'll be a marvellous occasion.
420
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:26,780
The audience will go mad.
421
00:19:27,580 --> 00:19:28,060
Please.
422
00:19:28,580 --> 00:19:28,980
Please.
423
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:30,060
Will you do it, Miss Ratik?
424
00:19:30,060 --> 00:19:30,400
Irene.
425
00:19:31,220 --> 00:19:32,140
Irene, please.
426
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:32,980
Will you?
427
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:35,180
Will you?
428
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,120
Sorry, I get worked up.
429
00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:40,140
Please.
430
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:41,820
Please.
431
00:19:41,940 --> 00:19:43,720
Will you play the piano concerto with me?
432
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:46,600
It's like children.
433
00:19:47,620 --> 00:19:48,600
No one will know.
434
00:19:48,780 --> 00:19:50,300
Nobody else but us will know.
435
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:52,320
All right.
436
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:53,640
I'll do it.
437
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,440
I think I'm mad, but I'll do it
438
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,060
just the same.
439
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,140
It'll be a bit of a lark.
440
00:19:59,040 --> 00:19:59,460
Tonight.
441
00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:01,520
Yes, all right.
442
00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:02,720
Tonight.
443
00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:03,420
Good.
444
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,140
Good, tonight.
445
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:07,540
Come back and have dinner with me.
446
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,060
We'll give the concert afterwards.
447
00:20:09,260 --> 00:20:10,820
Which is your favourite piano concerto?
448
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:14,120
The Grieg A minor.
449
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:14,660
Good.
450
00:20:14,820 --> 00:20:15,500
The Grieg.
451
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:17,460
You'll play it tonight.
452
00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:18,720
Dinner will be at seven.
453
00:20:18,820 --> 00:20:19,420
Evening dress.
454
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,060
I've got a dancing dress, but I haven't
455
00:20:22,060 --> 00:20:22,880
worn it for years.
456
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,000
You shall wear it.
457
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:25,080
Tonight.
458
00:21:29,820 --> 00:21:35,940
This lady.
459
00:21:37,300 --> 00:21:38,940
Mr. and Mrs. Badaball.
460
00:21:40,740 --> 00:21:43,620
Mr. and Mrs. Yes.
461
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:46,440
Yes, she's a kindred spirit.
462
00:21:48,060 --> 00:21:50,540
Mr. and Mrs. Badaball.
463
00:22:15,310 --> 00:22:17,130
You can play.
464
00:22:18,510 --> 00:22:20,250
You really can play.
465
00:22:20,870 --> 00:22:21,690
Not well.
466
00:22:22,150 --> 00:22:22,490
No.
467
00:22:22,950 --> 00:22:23,710
You can.
468
00:22:23,830 --> 00:22:24,410
I saw you.
469
00:22:24,410 --> 00:22:25,910
You can actually play.
470
00:22:26,550 --> 00:22:28,370
But not like a professional.
471
00:22:29,730 --> 00:22:32,230
You went along with it just to make
472
00:22:32,230 --> 00:22:32,350
fun of me.
473
00:22:32,350 --> 00:22:32,790
me.
474
00:22:33,390 --> 00:22:34,470
No, I didn't.
475
00:22:34,690 --> 00:22:36,070
To humiliate me.
476
00:22:36,190 --> 00:22:36,630
Never.
477
00:22:37,750 --> 00:22:39,670
You should have told me you could play.
478
00:22:39,670 --> 00:22:40,490
But I can't.
479
00:22:40,590 --> 00:22:42,350
I promise I can't play well.
480
00:22:42,790 --> 00:22:44,550
I only teach children at the Academy.
481
00:22:45,710 --> 00:22:46,670
The Academy?
482
00:22:47,210 --> 00:22:49,210
Yes, the Music Academy.
483
00:22:49,750 --> 00:22:50,510
I teach the piano.
484
00:22:53,130 --> 00:22:55,150
Oh, Mr. Bottlewell, I've always wanted to be
485
00:22:55,150 --> 00:22:56,010
a great pianist.
486
00:22:57,030 --> 00:22:59,530
Perhaps tomorrow I could be Limpeni and you
487
00:22:59,530 --> 00:23:00,430
can be Bernstein.
488
00:23:02,010 --> 00:23:02,710
Please.
489
00:23:03,110 --> 00:23:04,810
You'd better leave now, Miss Radjic.
490
00:23:04,970 --> 00:23:05,670
But...
491
00:23:05,670 --> 00:23:08,490
No, no, no, sorry.
492
00:23:08,730 --> 00:23:09,610
It's not gonna work.
493
00:23:10,730 --> 00:23:11,990
Please, go away.
494
00:23:13,510 --> 00:23:15,450
I mean, you're a success in your own
495
00:23:15,450 --> 00:23:15,710
way.
496
00:23:16,210 --> 00:23:17,430
I'm a failure.
497
00:23:19,090 --> 00:23:20,350
Your music is real.
498
00:23:20,790 --> 00:23:23,110
Mine, mine's fantasy.
499
00:23:25,090 --> 00:23:26,730
Two different worlds.
500
00:23:26,730 --> 00:23:28,690
It's impossible.
31196
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