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All my
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life, I have made it an absolute rule
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never to pass a hitchhiker at any time
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of day or night without giving him or
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her a lift.
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Then, on a pouring wet evening in September,
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just outside Oxford, I picked up two unhappy
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looking young men who were soaked to the
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skin.
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Both had hair down to their shoulders and
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bushy beards.
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One of them said, as they climbed into
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the back, What a relief, thank you so
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much.
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Suddenly, I felt the point of a knife
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pressing into my neck.
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Hey, I said, steady on.
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Get out, the knife man said, and hurry.
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I got out.
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They drove off and left me standing in
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the rain.
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Since then, I have never given a lift
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to any man with long hair or with
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a bushy beard.
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The hitchhiker in this storey has neither.
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Paul Duveen had lived in Britain for 15
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years.
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He was a writer, a successful writer.
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He liked living in Cambridge.
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And he loved driving real automobiles.
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You wouldn't be going to London by any
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chance, would you, sir?
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Sure, I would hop in.
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Thank you, sir.
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Very kind.
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That's okay.
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You're a decent man.
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Well said.
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Some fine-looking...
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Motor car.
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Uh-huh.
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Brand new.
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Yeah, pretty much.
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You'd be like a 10-year-old kid
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with a new toy, you know.
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Smells like a thoroughbred.
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What part of London are you headed for?
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Well, I'll be going out through London, out
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the other side.
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Absinthe.
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Uh-huh.
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The races, you know.
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Derby day, mister.
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Oh, the derby!
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Oh, I wish I was going with you.
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Love to go to bet on the horses.
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Oh, I never go betting on horses.
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I wouldn't even want to watch them run,
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sir.
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Well, why are you going to the derby?
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Uh...
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Oh, you work at one of the betting
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machines, do you?
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Betting machines?
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Oh, no, that's worse again.
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No fun there.
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Oh, I guess so.
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I asked the wrong question.
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Oh, you can ask any question you like.
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In your own domain.
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Bet you don't have to reply, huh?
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Hey, wait a minute.
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Are you one of those buskers, you know,
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entertain the crowds?
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Soft-shoe shuffle, stuff like that, huh?
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Can you imagine me running around with a
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mouth organ?
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Or banging my knees with a spoon?
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Well, frankly, I can, yeah.
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Excuse me, mister.
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Would you mind letting me out here?
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What?
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Would you just draw in here, please?
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What are you talking about?
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Thank you.
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Thank you.
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Come on, I'm sorry.
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No, no, no.
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Look, I couldn't be bothered riding along with
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a fellow that thinks so little of me.
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Oh, now, come on.
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Huh?
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Well, I don't think little of you.
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Oh.
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I said I was sorry.
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Yeah.
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Well, look, I really am sorry.
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Now, listen, it's none of my business.
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I won't ask any more questions, okay?
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Really, I remember when I used to hitchhike,
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you know, I couldn't stand being cross-examined.
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Who are you?
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What do you do?
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Where are you from?
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I won't ask any more questions.
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You see, the trouble is I'm a writer,
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and you know how writers pry, right?
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It's just I'm curious about people, okay?
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A nosy parker.
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Isn't that what the British call it?
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Oh, I wouldn't know.
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I'm from Donegal.
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See, I'm no expert in the language of
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Cromwell.
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Okay.
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No, excuse me.
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Did you say a writer, are you?
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Well, yeah, I write books.
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Oh.
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Anyway, I apologise again.
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No, it's just a minute now.
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No, that's...
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I accept your apology.
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Oh, I'm glad.
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Oh, see, you write books.
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Yeah.
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You know, that's a skilled trade.
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Oh, thank you.
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Of course, mine's a skilled trade, too.
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You know, I always say that the whole
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secret of life is to get to be
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very, very good.
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That's something that's very, very hard to do.
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You've accomplished that, have you?
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Well, I'd say I have, yeah.
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Thank yourselves.
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Seventy.
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Nice, huh?
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Yeah.
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It must have cost you a tidy bit,
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this motor car, huh?
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Wasn't cheap.
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Driving a good car, my one indulgence, I
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guess.
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Tell us, now, I mean, what would she
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be capable of now?
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I mean, how many, you know, revolutions per
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minute, flat out?
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This?
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Aye.
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129, to make us clean.
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129 miles an hour.
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Oh, you'd never believe that for a young
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woman, would you?
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Sure she will.
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They make a beautiful machine, these people.
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Look at that.
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129 miles an hour.
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Oh, she'd never do that.
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No, I know.
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No, no.
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I bet she won't think you like it.
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She wouldn't?
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Oh, I bet she will.
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No, not at all.
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Look, all these car manufacturers, they're all bloody
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liars, every one of them.
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I mean, I'm surprised, you know, a smart
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fellow like you.
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You don't believe in all that, do you?
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Well, in this instance, I do.
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Do you?
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Yeah.
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Well, prove it.
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What are you?
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What do you?
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Um...
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Fasten your seatbelt.
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Aye, with pleasure, mister, with pleasure.
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Ah, that's beautiful, beautiful.
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You all set?
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Oh, beautiful.
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Beautiful.
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The tonne, she...
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She's...
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She's hit the tonne.
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110, 115, go on.
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Go on, go on.
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Keep going.
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Keep going.
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Keep going, I can't go on.
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Aye, aye.
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100, 100.
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100, 100.
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Oh, 100.
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Oh, 100.
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Oh, that's Irish, that's the word.
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Oh, no.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Oh, look.
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Oh, shit.
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Oh, no, no, no.
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Keep going, keep going.
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You can lose him.
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Of course you can lose him.
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Why did I ever listen to you?
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Why?
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Well, because you're a good gambler, sir.
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That's why.
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You're a good gambler.
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I didn't know a motorcycle cop could do
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110.
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Oh, I could, yes, I could indeed.
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You see, his motorbike is the same make
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as your motorcar, only it fizzles out at
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112.
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If you'd have kept going, you'd have been
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okay.
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Look at him.
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This is real trouble.
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Yeah.
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Ah, well, sure.
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It's only our first offence, isn't that right?
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Oh, well.
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He's a real man-looking devil.
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Just one to watch out.
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Good morning, sir.
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Good morning.
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Oh, sorry.
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What's your hurry?
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No hurry, officer.
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You mean you don't have a lady in
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the back who's having a baby?
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No, obviously not.
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But your house is on fire and you're
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dashing home to rescue your family, eh?
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No.
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And perhaps you're carrying urgent medical supplies to
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a hospital, perhaps?
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No.
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I see.
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You hold a current British driving licence, sir?
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Oh, sure I do, officer, yes.
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It's just that you sound American to me,
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sir.
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I am.
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Perhaps you can claim diplomatic immunity.
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No, no.
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I wish I could.
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I'm not wasting my time, am I?
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You are aware of the speed limit in
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this country, of course?
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Seventy.
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Of course.
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Do you mind telling me what speed you
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were doing just now?
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Well, I was a little over that, I
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know.
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That's putting it politely, sir.
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I passed you at 112 miles an hour.
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One, one, two.
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And that's not a speed I care to
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drive at, sir.
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Except in the course of duty, that is.
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Do you mind getting out your vehicle, sir?
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Pardon?
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And I must caution you, sir, that anything
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you say may be taken down...
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And used in evidence against you.
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I know, yes.
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Could I see your driving licence, sir?
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Oh, sure, Arthur, yes.
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Hey, mister, mister, you...
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You left it in the glove compartment here,
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taken so quick.
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I don't know what I'm doing.
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I see.
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I do hate these little plastic envelopes.
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Yes.
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Well, well, well, two convictions already, eh?
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And one of them's an SB60.
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You make a habit of exceeding the speed
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limit, sir?
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Well, that was a couple of years ago.
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Well, you're going to lose your licence for
286
00:13:15,630 --> 00:13:16,610
12 months, you know that, don't you?
287
00:13:17,010 --> 00:13:18,550
That's up to the magistrate, isn't it?
288
00:13:19,050 --> 00:13:20,670
That'll be two endorsements already, it's automatic.
289
00:13:21,590 --> 00:13:23,190
Not to mention this third offence took place
290
00:13:23,190 --> 00:13:23,790
on a motorway.
291
00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:26,630
Now, we do take a very firm line
292
00:13:26,630 --> 00:13:28,470
about excess speeds on a motorway.
293
00:13:29,610 --> 00:13:31,050
Now, the last bloke I booked on this
294
00:13:31,050 --> 00:13:31,950
same stretch of motorway...
295
00:13:33,010 --> 00:13:34,710
Got fined 20 pounds for every mile he
296
00:13:34,710 --> 00:13:35,530
was over the speed limit.
297
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:36,790
No kidding?
298
00:13:37,870 --> 00:13:39,690
Now, you were 42 miles over the limit.
299
00:13:39,950 --> 00:13:41,350
You can work that out for yourself.
300
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:45,930
Well, it's well over 800 pounds.
301
00:13:47,330 --> 00:13:47,650
Right.
302
00:13:51,410 --> 00:13:52,550
What do I have your full names on?
303
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:55,030
Devine.
304
00:13:57,610 --> 00:13:57,930
Paul.
305
00:14:00,150 --> 00:14:00,470
George.
306
00:14:05,550 --> 00:14:06,090
Thank you, sir.
307
00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:12,020
Now you.
308
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:12,480
Who are you?
309
00:14:12,660 --> 00:14:13,840
Well, he's all right.
310
00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:14,400
I picked him up.
311
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:14,980
He's hitchhiking.
312
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:15,940
He's got nothing to do with this.
313
00:14:15,940 --> 00:14:16,720
I didn't ask you.
314
00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:21,720
Hey, what have I done?
315
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:23,820
You're a witness, if nothing else.
316
00:14:24,140 --> 00:14:24,600
How'd you get?
317
00:14:27,380 --> 00:14:28,800
I thought you were a hard man, mister.
318
00:14:29,260 --> 00:14:29,720
No, I'm not.
319
00:14:30,780 --> 00:14:31,820
You're a hard man.
320
00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:36,620
Look, I don't see where all the fuss
321
00:14:36,620 --> 00:14:36,720
is...
322
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:37,700
I do my job, sir.
323
00:14:37,940 --> 00:14:38,220
Aye.
324
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:40,260
Why don't you get back in your vehicle,
325
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:40,500
sir?
326
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:41,640
Recover your breath, as it were.
327
00:14:41,780 --> 00:14:42,440
This won't take a minute.
328
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:46,160
All right.
329
00:14:46,420 --> 00:14:47,540
Let's have your full name, huh?
330
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:48,260
Yeah.
331
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,280
Michael O'Brien Fish.
332
00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:52,300
Address?
333
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:55,500
14 Gladstone Road, Royston.
334
00:14:55,660 --> 00:14:56,340
Occupation?
335
00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:58,440
Unemployed.
336
00:15:00,260 --> 00:15:00,940
Hodderer.
337
00:15:02,940 --> 00:15:03,900
Hog carrier.
338
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,320
Don't get funny with me.
339
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:09,160
I'm not getting funny with you.
340
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:09,940
That's the truth.
341
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:11,160
I'm on the welfare.
342
00:15:11,580 --> 00:15:12,580
You've only got to ask.
343
00:15:12,940 --> 00:15:13,660
Oh, I shall.
344
00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:15,280
I'm going to check you out.
345
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,120
Look, I've done nothing.
346
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:17,940
What have I done?
347
00:15:18,820 --> 00:15:20,960
I just don't like your face, that's all.
348
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,180
We must have a record of it on
349
00:15:23,180 --> 00:15:23,800
file somewhere.
350
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:25,200
Well, I don't like your attitude.
351
00:15:26,740 --> 00:15:29,040
It's most insulting.
352
00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:31,120
Am I just getting a lift from this
353
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:32,020
nice kind gentleman?
354
00:15:32,460 --> 00:15:33,640
Excuse me, are you...
355
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:34,020
All right.
356
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:34,860
That's said.
357
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:36,760
Listen, don't you lay a hand on me.
358
00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,420
Don't you lay a hand on me.
359
00:15:38,420 --> 00:15:38,920
In you get.
360
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:41,200
You saw that, didn't you?
361
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,620
Now, that constitutes an assault.
362
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:46,020
I'm reporting you, boy.
363
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,740
I am going to report you.
364
00:15:50,540 --> 00:15:51,840
Ah, I know.
365
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,800
And this gentleman is my witness.
366
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:56,540
Wrong.
367
00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,540
You are my witness to a very serious
368
00:15:59,540 --> 00:16:00,020
offence.
369
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:03,100
I'll see you both in court.
370
00:16:03,540 --> 00:16:04,300
Good morning.
371
00:16:07,820 --> 00:16:10,260
Well, there he goes now.
372
00:16:11,140 --> 00:16:12,540
Minus a knacker's yard.
373
00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:13,300
A regular...
374
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,460
A regular paycock.
375
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,060
Eight hundred pounds.
376
00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:18,520
Enough to spend a licence for a year.
377
00:16:19,140 --> 00:16:20,020
I thought this was going to be a
378
00:16:20,020 --> 00:16:20,400
good day.
379
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:23,600
You with two endorsements already.
380
00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:24,980
Oh, that's bad.
381
00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:25,720
No, that's bad.
382
00:16:26,060 --> 00:16:26,700
My licence.
383
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:28,980
Did I really leave it in the glove
384
00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:29,400
compartment?
385
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:30,360
Did I?
386
00:16:31,220 --> 00:16:32,200
Well, I think you must have.
387
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:34,280
I think you must have.
388
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:38,040
Well, tell us, Sam.
389
00:16:38,620 --> 00:16:40,060
What are you thinking of doing now?
390
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,020
I'm thinking of getting off this cop-infested
391
00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:46,000
motorway and finding us a place to dry
392
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:46,380
off.
393
00:16:49,580 --> 00:16:52,100
Well, better luck next time, old fellow.
394
00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:53,040
Yeah.
395
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,100
You could take your wet coat off.
396
00:16:55,420 --> 00:16:56,420
No, no, that's all right.
397
00:16:58,780 --> 00:17:02,340
You know, I told him a bit of
398
00:17:02,340 --> 00:17:02,840
a lie.
399
00:17:03,260 --> 00:17:04,079
Wrong policeman.
400
00:17:05,099 --> 00:17:06,359
Because I'm not unemployed.
401
00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:08,319
I'm going to be very busy this afternoon.
402
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:09,599
And tomorrow, too.
403
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:11,300
Oh, yeah.
404
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:11,960
That's right.
405
00:17:12,380 --> 00:17:13,380
At the Derby.
406
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:15,760
You know, you're right, old fellow.
407
00:17:16,740 --> 00:17:18,579
You're such a pack of nosy parkers.
408
00:17:18,700 --> 00:17:19,140
Do you know that?
409
00:17:20,599 --> 00:17:23,920
You know, I know you'll never be satisfied
410
00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:27,140
till I come out with what I do.
411
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:28,120
That's all.
412
00:17:28,980 --> 00:17:29,540
Not really.
413
00:17:29,660 --> 00:17:30,800
It's up to you.
414
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:32,760
Go on.
415
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:35,060
You're just itching to know.
416
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:37,600
Yeah, I can tell by the look on
417
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:38,080
your face.
418
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:39,100
Not really.
419
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:40,560
Look, drink up and let's get out of
420
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:40,660
here.
421
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:40,920
Come on.
422
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:41,420
We're dry.
423
00:17:42,580 --> 00:17:43,840
You're in a desperate hurry.
424
00:17:44,620 --> 00:17:45,860
It doesn't pay to hurry, you know.
425
00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:46,520
No, it doesn't.
426
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:47,780
That's why I'm going to drive very, very
427
00:17:47,780 --> 00:17:48,080
slow.
428
00:17:48,180 --> 00:17:48,520
Now, come on.
429
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:48,880
Come on.
430
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:49,800
Hold on.
431
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:50,520
Hold hard now.
432
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:51,020
Hold hard.
433
00:17:58,060 --> 00:17:59,220
You're not drunk, are you?
434
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:02,600
I'm too, in which case...
435
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:03,520
Irish.
436
00:18:04,740 --> 00:18:10,480
English measures, but...
437
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:11,660
Poor boy.
438
00:18:12,820 --> 00:18:14,640
The Lord only knows what my wife's going
439
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:14,900
to say.
440
00:18:15,460 --> 00:18:16,340
That was quick.
441
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,160
Now, you noticed that, did you?
442
00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:19,820
Sure, I did.
443
00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:20,520
That's fascinating.
444
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:21,000
I didn't notice.
445
00:18:23,140 --> 00:18:25,260
I never saw anybody roll a cigarette that
446
00:18:25,260 --> 00:18:25,560
fast.
447
00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:26,360
Fingers.
448
00:18:28,580 --> 00:18:30,260
Yeah, I know the joke.
449
00:18:31,120 --> 00:18:31,740
Fish fingers.
450
00:18:32,420 --> 00:18:35,000
Look, you see them fingers there?
451
00:18:35,980 --> 00:18:36,240
Huh?
452
00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:38,900
You wouldn't think to look at them.
453
00:18:39,420 --> 00:18:41,460
But they're the quickest, slickest fingers you've ever
454
00:18:41,460 --> 00:18:42,420
seen in your life, boy.
455
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,480
Oh, you're a concert pianist.
456
00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:46,720
My job's a hundred times more difficult than
457
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:47,360
piano playing.
458
00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:48,980
Any fool can learn the piano.
459
00:18:48,980 --> 00:18:51,020
But I can tell you, not one in
460
00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:52,600
ten million can learn to do what I
461
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:52,920
do.
462
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,380
I'm telling you, boy.
463
00:18:55,420 --> 00:18:56,520
Yeah, you've been telling me.
464
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:56,920
I heard you.
465
00:18:57,180 --> 00:18:58,420
I am telling you, boy.
466
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:01,440
I got it.
467
00:19:02,620 --> 00:19:05,240
You're a kind of amateur magician.
468
00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:07,320
I can't...
469
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:11,340
You're a card player, aren't you?
470
00:19:11,740 --> 00:19:12,820
You're card sharp, huh?
471
00:19:13,260 --> 00:19:14,720
Well, now you're insulting me.
472
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,400
All right, then I give up.
473
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:24,340
Ever seen this before?
474
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:25,260
Hmm.
475
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:26,960
Looks the same as mine.
476
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:27,480
Where'd you get that?
477
00:19:28,660 --> 00:19:29,180
Uh...
478
00:19:29,180 --> 00:19:30,780
Took it off the top of your trousers.
479
00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:34,700
You took that off me while I was
480
00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:34,960
driving?
481
00:19:35,740 --> 00:19:37,340
Uh, why wouldn't I?
482
00:19:38,980 --> 00:19:41,300
You undid the buckle, and you slid it
483
00:19:41,300 --> 00:19:43,420
through all the loops while we were driving.
484
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:45,500
Oh.
485
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:48,500
Well, seems believable.
486
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:48,880
Hmm.
487
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:51,160
Hmm.
488
00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:54,860
What about this, then?
489
00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:56,880
What about it?
490
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,900
Is anyone around here missing a shoelace, I
491
00:19:59,900 --> 00:20:00,120
wonder?
492
00:20:05,290 --> 00:20:07,550
Do you mind that time when I missed
493
00:20:07,550 --> 00:20:08,970
me step coming out of the pub like?
494
00:20:11,230 --> 00:20:12,030
Yeah, I remember.
495
00:20:12,890 --> 00:20:13,810
I didn't see anything.
496
00:20:14,570 --> 00:20:15,890
Ah, well, no, I know you didn't.
497
00:20:15,890 --> 00:20:16,870
Well, you weren't, uh...
498
00:20:16,870 --> 00:20:17,810
You weren't meant to.
499
00:20:18,210 --> 00:20:19,570
Just, uh, it's fingers, you know.
500
00:20:20,030 --> 00:20:20,310
Fingers.
501
00:20:20,310 --> 00:20:21,110
I'll come with fingers.
502
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,310
What's the time, then?
503
00:20:24,550 --> 00:20:25,110
What's the time?
504
00:20:26,030 --> 00:20:27,370
The clock's right there in front of you.
505
00:20:27,370 --> 00:20:28,850
Ah, no, I hate them car clocks.
506
00:20:28,950 --> 00:20:30,250
No, I like to get the right time,
507
00:20:30,250 --> 00:20:30,530
you know.
508
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:33,990
If I have a decent gold watch like
509
00:20:33,990 --> 00:20:36,190
this, no, it's not a beauty, huh?
510
00:20:36,390 --> 00:20:37,030
It's not a beauty.
511
00:20:38,650 --> 00:20:39,050
Do you know what?
512
00:20:39,050 --> 00:20:41,150
You could flog that anywhere, couldn't you?
513
00:20:41,150 --> 00:20:41,430
Fish!
514
00:20:42,610 --> 00:20:43,670
Put the watch down.
515
00:20:44,990 --> 00:20:45,350
Aye.
516
00:20:50,430 --> 00:20:50,750
Hey.
517
00:20:52,070 --> 00:20:53,030
What are you standing for?
518
00:20:53,250 --> 00:20:54,170
What else have you got of mine?
519
00:20:54,310 --> 00:20:54,930
A joke's a joke.
520
00:20:54,930 --> 00:20:55,270
Come on.
521
00:20:55,270 --> 00:20:55,950
What else have you got?
522
00:20:56,350 --> 00:20:58,590
Look, I'm only answering your question, mister.
523
00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:00,370
You asked me what I did for a
524
00:21:00,370 --> 00:21:01,170
living, and here I am.
525
00:21:01,470 --> 00:21:02,290
I'm showing you.
526
00:21:02,450 --> 00:21:03,710
What else have you got of mine?
527
00:21:05,950 --> 00:21:06,850
Are you a policeman?
528
00:21:07,710 --> 00:21:08,590
I'm not a policeman.
529
00:21:09,090 --> 00:21:10,510
But if you don't show me, what...
530
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:21,000
Special delivery.
531
00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:30,500
Okay, now get out.
532
00:21:31,580 --> 00:21:32,060
Out?
533
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:32,740
Me?
534
00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:33,480
Out.
535
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:33,960
Out!
536
00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:36,580
Out!
537
00:21:36,580 --> 00:21:37,840
I don't give rise to big pockets.
538
00:21:38,220 --> 00:21:40,600
If you want to know, I'm a fingersmith.
539
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:42,180
A what?
540
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:42,900
A finger...
541
00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:44,360
A professional fingersmith.
542
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,080
You know, like a goldsmith or a silversmith.
543
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,180
And I can tell you, I follow my
544
00:21:48,180 --> 00:21:49,880
own professional code of honour.
545
00:21:51,140 --> 00:21:54,260
I always gives back answers of no use
546
00:21:54,260 --> 00:21:54,520
to me.
547
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,100
Oh, you mean you're Robin Hood working the
548
00:21:57,100 --> 00:21:57,740
racetrack.
549
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:00,500
Look, I know what you must be feeling,
550
00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:01,080
mister.
551
00:22:01,740 --> 00:22:03,120
Because it wasn't a very good morning for
552
00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:03,680
you, was it?
553
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:04,560
It's still out.
554
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:05,300
Come on, fingers.
555
00:22:05,300 --> 00:22:08,480
I mean, what with me making you go
556
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:10,180
over the speed limit and the police and
557
00:22:10,180 --> 00:22:10,400
all.
558
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,780
And now you're disapproving of my vocation, like.
559
00:22:15,260 --> 00:22:15,740
Exactly.
560
00:22:15,940 --> 00:22:16,960
Now get out!
561
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:17,880
Out.
562
00:22:18,140 --> 00:22:19,620
Get out, I said.
563
00:22:20,120 --> 00:22:22,520
That's very funny.
564
00:22:22,520 --> 00:22:23,260
Very funny.
565
00:22:23,580 --> 00:22:25,400
I couldn't resist it.
566
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:25,620
Out.
567
00:22:29,700 --> 00:22:30,760
No fun there.
568
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,260
You know, would you give me my hat,
569
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:35,600
please?
570
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:38,160
Here.
571
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:41,560
You know, you're a hard man, mister.
572
00:22:41,940 --> 00:22:43,760
You're worse than a police man.
573
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:45,500
Yeah, he's checking on you right now.
574
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:46,940
Oh, no, no, no.
575
00:22:46,940 --> 00:22:48,380
Nobody's checking on me, mister.
576
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:50,420
He's got your name and address, Fish.
577
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:52,860
He wrote it all down in his little
578
00:22:52,860 --> 00:22:53,420
black book.
579
00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:54,640
All right, well, wait till you see now.
580
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:55,480
What about this, sir?
581
00:22:56,600 --> 00:23:00,300
Michael O'Brien Fish, 14 Gladstone Road, Royston.
582
00:23:00,700 --> 00:23:01,100
Unemployed.
583
00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:02,000
That was my particulars.
584
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,480
Now, here's your particulars, you see.
585
00:23:04,140 --> 00:23:06,400
When cautioned, Mr. Duveen replied.
586
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,260
You took that from a cop?
587
00:23:12,020 --> 00:23:12,960
Oh, it was easy.
588
00:23:13,160 --> 00:23:13,740
It was dead easy.
589
00:23:14,980 --> 00:23:15,740
Good Lord.
590
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,300
But he'll remember names, registration numbers.
591
00:23:20,300 --> 00:23:21,980
Ah, no, no, he won't remember.
592
00:23:22,140 --> 00:23:23,260
It was because he wrote it down, you
593
00:23:23,260 --> 00:23:23,360
see.
594
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,620
And I remember because he didn't think he'd
595
00:23:25,620 --> 00:23:26,060
have to.
596
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:28,020
Now, do you see?
597
00:23:28,660 --> 00:23:29,640
I don't know.
598
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:31,380
Ah, well, I do.
599
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:33,320
Because I'd been booked before, do you see?
600
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:34,440
And I always took the wee book.
601
00:23:35,260 --> 00:23:36,520
Never heard a word after.
602
00:23:38,740 --> 00:23:39,740
Well, I tell you what now.
603
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,140
I think the two of us should get
604
00:23:42,140 --> 00:23:42,560
out here.
605
00:23:42,660 --> 00:23:44,640
And we'll build a wee bonfire and burn
606
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:45,520
all them things.
607
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:49,020
And then after, like, if you insist, I'll
608
00:23:49,020 --> 00:23:49,360
walk.
609
00:23:50,100 --> 00:23:50,700
Oh, no, no.
610
00:23:51,260 --> 00:23:52,880
If you want, I'll walk.
611
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:53,400
I don't mind.
612
00:23:54,980 --> 00:23:56,380
No, right, right.
613
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:57,960
Bonfire.
614
00:24:01,220 --> 00:24:02,120
Brilliant fish.
615
00:24:02,540 --> 00:24:03,020
Brilliant.
616
00:24:03,940 --> 00:24:07,140
You know, it's nice to be appreciated.
617
00:24:10,020 --> 00:24:12,120
Hey, Fish.
618
00:24:12,420 --> 00:24:12,700
Yeah.
619
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,140
What if it doesn't burn?
620
00:24:14,140 --> 00:24:15,160
I mean, it's starting to rain again.
621
00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:16,600
Yes, but if you could get just a
622
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,580
few dry twigs.
623
00:24:18,780 --> 00:24:19,320
Dry twigs.
624
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:20,820
Dry twigs.
625
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:21,420
Here.
626
00:24:48,090 --> 00:24:48,490
Fat.
627
00:24:55,210 --> 00:24:56,450
He couldn't resist it.
38922
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